The Creep Off - Episode 199: #199 What do you do with a donkey thief?

Episode Date: January 29, 2024

In today's episode Karl is busy taking a nap so Vinnie is joined by Blind Mike for an absolutely revolting Scum Parade! The score is currently Vinnie 4 - Karl 3, visit thecreepoff.com to vote and decide this week’s winnerCheck out the Scum Parade stories:Veteran, 49, admits he faked using a wheelchair for TWENTY YEARS to claim more than $660,000 in benefits after former kindergarten teacher is pictured STANDING in class photos | Daily Mail OnlineIndian Man Dons Girlfriend's Disguise to Give Exam on Her Behalf, Arrested After Failing Biometrics (ibtimes.sg)Suspected donkey thief tortured to death -Newsday ZimbabweCoked-up pensioner masturbated in window while staring at stranger with binoculars - Daily StarAfter teen gives birth, man charged with molest: Docs (fox59.com)Mom, son claimed 'sprits' killed grandpa, not them: Cops (lawandcrime.com)Woman banned from being alone with children after threatening to throw boy out of window is GUILTY of killing baby | The SunWoman, 33, who stabbed her date 100 times to death in weed-induced frenzy is sentenced to 100 HOURS community service - as judge says she 'had no control over her actions' after cannabis caused 'psychotic break' | Daily Mail OnlineMan bled to death in field after amputating his own penis because he 'didn't need it' - Mirror OnlineClick here for all things Blind MikeWant to support the show? Find us on Patreon, Supercast & Backed.by to get exclusive merch an extra bonus episode every week! Don’t forget you can leave us a voicemail at 585-371-8108

It's a goddamn miracle. It's a goddamn miracle. I'm glad I could make it happen. I can't believe we're on time, Mike. That's what I bring to the table. Punctuality. It may not be a good show, but I'm prompt. Well, I would rather have prompt and a mediocre to good show than late.

and listen to Carl I don't know Hi everybody We're going to start the show now I guess Attention parents What you're about to see Is not suitable for kids

Shoot It's not even suitable for some grownups You might want to walk away now If you ain't any of these type of things Warning Listening to the creep off Might leave you Trigger

This episode may contain murder, rape, laughing at murder and rape, ableism, Lenny Dykstra, serial keeters, smile talking, fat shaming, child abuse, drug abuse, drug abuse, victim blaming, and the state of Florida. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation. Horror, shock. I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive, and I'm not backing down. Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Disgusting Disgusting, vomit-inducing thing. Disgusting, vomit-inducing thing.

Ola creepos. Welcome to another episode of your favorite true crime. podcast. I am your host. My name is Vinny. Shout out and Excelsior. True believers. I am joined today by a man who I love to have around the show, a breath of fresh air

in these parts. Give it up for Blind Mike Geary, everybody. Hello, buddy. Thank you for having me. Do you hear that applause? It's coming. It's coming right through the computer. I can feel it. Good. Good, good, good. Now, today shows to be a little bit different than normally Carl

is traveling. He's going to WATP Studio B for a week of more relaxation. It's not like he can use it. Yeah, sure he can. He's not napping all the time. That's right. Jesus Christ. So thank you for joining us.

Today we are going to have fun. A lot of people are saying hello in the chat. Welcome to the show, guys. Today we are going to do a special surprise category. but before we get to that, I want to invite our results girl in Jess to let us know who won last week's episode. Hello, Jess. Hello.

Hello. So the results from last week, what was last week? Oh, Missouri. Yes. So with 62% of the vote, the winner is Vinnie. Oh, shit. I just pulled it even, folks. Congratulations, buddy.

Thank you. I might even be in the lead now. I need to go look. Yeah, it's four to three now. Holy shit, I took the lead. Yeah. That means if I beat Mike, I'm on game point, and Carl has to spin. What?

I'm going to throw the match, I guess. What? What a fortunate set of circumstances I find myself in? out of Monday afternoon. Well, hot damn. Welcome to the catbird seed, everybody. That's good news. Lady Kay thinks it was bad for him now.

Just wait. Dude, there's some new ones we were talking about at our last bonus episode. And there was one that Carl came up with, Mike, that if he has to do, it is way funnier than the seven second porn challenge. Oh, can I know or is it a big... Oh, I'll tell you what it is. I'll tell you what it is.

If you want to hear the whole thing, you got to go listen. You got to pay people. But here's basically the gist of it is going to a Home Depot, walk around or very obviously make yourself known to people by saying, hey, you see me, right? It's about 2.30 in the afternoon right now. You see me standing right here at this Home Depot, right? Like you create alibis for yourself in a very heavy-handed way. Okay.

And that as you go through the store, you start asking people for, you know, Hey, do you want to get really big garbage bags? No, like, I need bigger ones. You got to go get cleaning supplies, lime, all the shit that you would normally have to buy when you were just cleaning up a crime scene. And that is your standing there being incredibly conspicuous at the register. You have to get yourself a little candy bar or something to just toss it out there. Of the two of you, who do you think more clearly murdered their wife in cold blood? You or Carl.

Carl. He has reason to be mad at her right now. I kind of agree with it. kind of agree with it yeah i think i but listen i would never fuck with my wife my wife would fuck me up like okay i don't know if that's really a defense that you wouldn't kill her but dude i'm telling you i wouldn't even attempt it she's way too cunning for me way too resulting in you trying to formulate a defense for yourself i don't think you're gonna kill your wife i'll just i'll hear your name right i was here at 108 p.m. on a monday with you

right, Mike? And Jess saw me. Everyone sees this, right? I don't. Actually, shit, Mike, you are talking to me. That's when, wait. You don't hear any screams right now, right? Not a great defense. I witnessed. Actually, Mike, you just might be the greatest defense. Yeah, I was a blind Mike.

Whoa, he says he didn't see me. Well, he's, it's my Mike. What do you want me to tell you? Yeah, that's all that's so him. Oh, Mike would say that, wouldn't he? so uh jess thank you so much for bringing good news today if you would like to send any correspondence to jess make sure you check out our reddit page r slash the creep off she loves it when you ask her questions about her feet and her personal information it's her favorite so feel free i've got a few for you yeah what do you want to know what do you want to know

well first of all is another is another poor female listener that carl has solicited into working or is this one of yours i've volunteered okay she is uh jess does a lot for us and behind the scenes and she did volunteer for this job and uh jess i guess technically is an employee of the creep off i guess yeah at what cost you're telling me you're telling me you're going to get that two dollars this month thanks mechanical ape vinnie f and winnie thanks to the two bucks did i forget to say it was super chat monday everybody it's super chat monday glad i could be here for that yes i am too all right jess get lost we'll see you soon i love throwing her out it's my favorite she's adorable when she gets so uncomfortable she gets so uncomfortable when you start asking her

questions we discovered that her parents were swingers okay and that really makes her mad they're not i move my mic they're not they are not oh you mean it's more of like a like they don't label label themselves that way it's just kind of their lifestyle yeah god damn it they just call themselves open right yeah they experiment they're free willed yeah she just told me they had to buy new furniture because of the last party doing good well they keep having these parties at the house i was just explaining that they had an issue with the furniture coding issue yeah people shot coating all over their furniture was chafing their their backs listen the shit was supposed to be scotch guarded it was supposed to be scotch guarded

i'm sending it back all right jess sorry have a good afternoon no it's cool she lives in a time where that's like totally cool you know uh this is a lot of fun i really enjoy making her uncomfortable, Mike. But you know what I enjoy more than that? What's that? I enjoy a little thing called a scum parade, Mike. You want to go on one with me? I'd love to.

Driving chid and dread. Oh, pitos, tiddling. Two bag of murderers. Rake to do a rinkly reigie. Oh, you see your pet, abusive asshats. Yeah, the scum parade. Scumperry. Oh, the creeps

Oh, it's on parade Oh, it's on parade Oh, Carla and Vinny are back Oh Carl And since he's gone, I figured I'd play it Because I love it now I kind of enjoy it too

Why does he hate it so much? I don't know, because he's a snob about things He likes the other one, he likes this one Right Skull parade Take me on a raid Of these fuck charades Because it's weed

These creeps have made Oh okay I was going to ask It's like an isotopes instrumental or something No it's a wean song That somebody covered And I like it They did a fantastic job on it

But every now and again I like to change it up I can't be with wean all the time Carl Right You know So Mike One of the things That I would assume

You find incredibly insulting is when people fake a handicap. No, I actually respect the hell out of it. Tell me more. I applaud anyone who gives it a shot, you know? Really? Because I like that attitude. It really is.

Yeah, I mean, in a way, in a way, I, no, ultimately I don't, I suppose. But I don't, I'm not bothered by it, like, well, you don't know the struggle that I really have to go to, and you're taking away from that. I say, like, go for it, you know? If you get benefits from it somehow. Like, I always recommend, for example, I have. learned since i started using uh you like a white cane the traditional blind man's cane fly through security at airports i'm treated like a king at airports so i've always recommended to people

like just pretend you're blind at airports they'll move you right through do okay let me ask you this question because i have a flight i'm going to catch in a couple weeks i've going on a trip and i'm willing to try this bike under your tutelage so my question is this do i need a special blind card or anything what's going to happen if i don't have a dog if you don't have a dog or a cane I would say I'm legally blind or visually impaired and just kind of look it a little bit. You know, like don't make direct eye contact with these people or anything. Kind of look like if you have to read anything, pull it real close, you know, appear visually impaired. And then they'll say, oh, of course, they're not going to question you.

Well, what would happen if say I fuck up and, you know, like I'm going through the thing and I'm like, oh, I'm visually impaired and I'm acting a day. And then I slip up and say something like, hey, nice shirt. what happens that do i get in trouble i think people for the most part feel bad about calling you out so i think you'll be all right although i guess as we're about to learn there are some circumstances where you could uh get caught yes when you are completely brazen with it i think and the government is cutting you checks for hundreds of thousands of dollars sure that they they have a reason to be salty i think i think tsa can fucking deal with it a 49 year old yeah the government will ask you to prove

Good point. Christopher Stultz. He's 49 years old. He's from New Hampshire. He pleaded guilty in the U.S. District Court on Thursday to one count of making false statements to the Department of Veteran Affairs. You see, Stultz had been pretending to be needing a wheelchair for the last 20 years or so. Right. Okay. That's pretty good. That's a good run. That is a really good run. I shouldn't use the term run for this, though. do we know I didn't see how like this had to be all consuming I would think like you would need for the most part everyone in your life to believe you were in a wheelchair right no not not Christopher Stoltz in fact Christopher Stoltz got himself a great job and this is one of the things that I would add will make him a creep elementary school teacher yes yeah creepy now all on his social media there's pictures of him without a wheelchair participated at with students in one photo he's seen standing straight up dressed in a costume and another photo he's seen sitting around with his students during story time i guess that one's not as incriminating now stutz claimed in 2003 that he can no longer use his feet his claim prompted the u.s department of veteran affairs to raise him a want to rate him 100% disabled and increases money benefits this guy in those 20 years 660 grand

What I don't understand is like, so I'm disabled, but if you have a job, maybe this is just a matter of states, like different rules in different states. But in Massachusetts, like if you have a job that makes you, I think the number is like $85 a month, then you're not eligible for disability. So I assume he was making money from teaching, which is why I don't understand why he was getting so much in government assistance. Well, I'm guessing because of veteran. He's a vet. Well, still. Oh, that's from, that's basically a thank you. Like, hey, thanks for your service.

I think there's a different set of rules for veterans affairs as opposed to just like government assistance. So his deception was revealed when law enforcement officers surveilled him on multiple occasions walking normally and without the use of his wheelchair. Now, he used a wheelchair well inside a VA medical center in 2021 in Boston, up by you. But after leaving the facility, he stood up and lifted the wheelchair into his car. He's just running with it over his head. Wee! He, like, he jumped out of it. It's like, oh, there's a ghost in that wheelchair.

Look at it go. And then he ran and caught it. That's also a very fun one for, like, the police staff or the, you know, whoever's monitoring him to have to call in. like yeah we got a we got a guy in the move we got two feet walking two feet walking might be the name of this episode no not only did they catch him take in the wheelchair and slap it in the car they followed it because they were investigating his claim and he went to the mall after i was going to say he was dancing home from the 600 grand he got from these rooms then he went to dance practice did a little tap they watched him perform the chorus line

for uh yeah that's like so what i was talking about was like yeah if you're in line at the airport and you say you have a disability i don't give you like the episode of um curbi enthusiasm where larry david pretends he's retarded to cut the line essentially yeah no no problem with that but you also have to realize like eventually it's going to come out like someone would catch you even there's people who think stevie wonder can see because he caught a microphone once like if you're posting pictures of yourself standing and you know doing an irish jig. It's going to come back to haunt you eventually. That is a good point, but how the fuck did he catch that microphone, Mike? It's, it, it is odd. My defense of Stevie Wonder

has always been like, there's moments where like if I, if I knock my phone off the table, I might catch it almost just by accident because you can kind of, but through your other senses, you can feel where it is a little bit. But with Stevie Wonder, the more incriminating thing to me, Have you ever heard the Shaquille O'Neal's story? No. Where Shaquille O'Neal lived in the same building as Stevie Wonder. Okay. And he got into the elevator, and Stevie Wonder was in there, and Shaq didn't say anything.

And I guess Stevie Wonder goes, what's up, big diesel? And Shaq was like, what the fuck? How did he know it was me? Hmm. I wonder if there was like a towering presence or something. Or a basketball. Yeah, maybe he could just feel there's a seven-foot man in the elevator. Or a basketball practice smell might all.

So be part of the issue. But this guy's facing 18 months in prison in his order to pay back $662,871,777 that he had taken fraudulently. It's not bad. I think if you do the prison time, they should be like, all right, you got to keep the money. But you got to go to jail. You know, it's one of the other.

You don't get your money back. You got duped. Yeah. At some point, you got to, they're never going to admit they're never going to see it. because this money's already gone, right? Right. A good chunk of it's already gone. I mean, I know this dude's gainfully employed as a kindergarten teacher,

but they're famously underpaid. Yeah, I don't think he's making $600 grand a year. A male kindergarten teacher is underpaid, and rightfully so. You get to rape our children and get a big paycheck, please. I was going to say a male kindergarten teacher, this might be the least of this guy's troubles. Absolutely. Just start looking into him.

I'm going to talk today about cheating because I don't like cheaters, but this guy I kind of do like. I'm going to tell you about a story that happened in India. A guy by the name of Angrez Singh, he's 25 years old, dressed up as a woman and pretended to be his girlfriend, Paramit Kaur, to attend a recruitment examination for college on her behalf. The exam was being conducted at a university, and he showed up in red bangles, lipstick, a lady's eye. outfit. The first hour of the examination went very smooth, Mike. He went, everything's good. This is just good old fashioned 90s comedy. It's Juana Man or any of these, you know what I mean? Like, there's been a million movies about this. So do you want to go to college? It's the sequel. Yes.

University officials quickly caught wind of the charade after they grew suspicious about his attire. They're like, those shoes don't match. Or he did too well on these tests. oh shit now we're judging now we're judging the smarts of women Obama made scores Obama made that illegal made man scores of women scores illegal 2007 some ladies not testing this high what's going on here you got 90% on this test

this cannot be this cannot We're going to have to drag him outside of beat him. This test was not about cooking and cleaning. I don't understand how he did so. Well, she, brother. Yeah. I have a feeling this person when they caught and was like, I'm not trans. I'm not trans.

I swear I'm not trans. This is a con. This is a con. Because I would have dragged this motherfucker out and beat him to death. Okay. Angra Singh went through an all-out effort. He utilized a fake voter card to prove he was his girlfriend with his picture in drag on it. So he got a smart.

Yes. He went the whole way with this thing. And it seemed foolproof until they, until he realized that they had fingerprint readers there. That's where, so when I was reading this article, I was like, how many levels of security did they have? Because they're checking his ID. He's already taken the test. That's why I didn't understand how it got this far into the process. And then they're taking his fingerprint.

I just assumed that they didn't believe him. Right. And they're like, now you got to do your, come here. Fingerprint. Now, here's my issue. This woman wants to get into college. Okay. What do you need 10 fingers for? Okay. What do you need to swiping her severed finger? Yeah. I mean, you really want to get in? You want man scores and you want to get in, honey? Let's go the full way with this. Now, what was, I forget, what was the reason she couldn't take the test? I don't want to say girl scores But I want to say girl scores I don't know

She might be stupid or something Who knows She can be completely dumb And he's just like Don't worry I got it Which wouldn't be the first time A smart kid helped a dumb woman cheat Right

Damn straight Yeah won't be the last either Mike There's something I say on the show All the time And I truly believe it From the bottom of my heart Mike there is no justice

Like mob justice you know that true i suppose i'm telling you there's no justice like it because they they cut through the red tape of the court system and they get right down to business and that's what happened at a place called the dumba village near bright bridge i believe this is somewhere in south america a man was kidnapped and tortured to death by his fellow villagers because he was caught stealing a neighbor's donkey don't say Don't say a man. Don't humanize this piece of shit. He's a donkey thief. I don't say it like it is. He's an ass bandit.

Donkey thief. The way they phrased it in the headline like donkey thief, which does sound like a racial slur. Like, I've got a couple of donkey thieves coming up to us. Oh, man. Watch the tip jar. There's donkey thieves. Oh, this place is lousy with donkey thieves. Oh, no. You know, this neighborhood's really gone downhill since the donkey thieves moved there. Since the donkey thieves came riding in here. The house next door to me was bought by Donkey Thieves.

A police report indicated that Austin Sabanda is 25 years old, this habit on January 8th, was beaten with the hammer, had his private parts pinched with pliers, and was whipped with switches inflicting deadly wounds all over his body and to top it off at the end of it after they were done pinching his prick beating him with a hammer and hitting it with sticks they took a scorpion and threw it down his shirt. Just in case he didn't get the message. Just in case, just in case you ever thought about doing this again.

Here's one for the road. This group really makes like John Wick look like a pussy you know like they they took care of it when their fucking pet was fucked with now not only did they do the entire job of the legal system judge juries executioners they then decided you know what we're going to give him to the legal system anyway so they took this beaten shell of a man with a scorpion at his shirt to the police station and they left him there guess what the police did what's that they put him in a cell for two days didn't get him any medical attention.

Two days after that, they called his family. And we're like, hey, you want to get this guy some medical attention? Yeah, they kept saying, like, he's telling his grandmother he's innocent. But like, what else is he going to say? You know, he's a dirty donkey thief. I've never met a donkey thief who can tell you the truth. That's right. You ever met an honest donkey thief people?

people. I do that. This is where I think other countries kind of have it right. Like, you got to be sure. I'll grant you that. You got to be 100% sure you've got the guy. But, you know, take care of them yourself, rough him up, and then bring him in for us to deal with, you know? Well, I find it interesting that when he got there, the cops weren't. Hey, let's get him some medical attention and take the names of the people who beat him or something. this police department has no record of any of that stuff all they have is him booked into jail as a donkey thief the family is fucking livid

and he did he was calling his grandma before he died going I didn't do anything and then he gave the names this guy not only was a donkey thief he was a stool pigeon it's a goddamn stoolie rat oh man so either way this guy is down

and don't steal don't steal donkeys is the lesson today. Did they get their donkey back? I was never clear on that. I hope so. Did they find the donkey? No donkey, no peace. That's what I say. Because if there's no donkey, then there's no evidence.

That guy's then they just got to feel bad if I'm a guy. Wrong. The only evidence is the donkey's gone. That's fair. Someone stole it, so. It must have been him. Joe Dicker, thanks for the five Canadian dollars. A couple of donkey thieves just stole my trunk.

My truck. I said, I suck. Hey, a couple of donkey thieves stole my truck. Let's go back to, let's go over to England, I believe. Liverpool. And talk about a 61-year-old gentleman by the name of Andrew McKinnis. Now, Andrew McKinness is a pensioner, and he's had a rough go lately. and he's taken up to doing a lot of cocaine.

Ah, yes. He's taken up cocaine as a hobby, which, you know, I think everybody needs a hobby, especially when you're retired. And the problem is, though, he's also taking up masturbating at his window while watching people through binoculars. Yeah, this is again where I think the headline leads you astray, where they made it feel like this was an act centered around the cocaine. I don't know if cocaine makes you do this

I think this was inside of this man already Yeah And the cocaine just enhanced it Guys I fucked up I looked I had the wrong info here His name is David Jones Oh When you were setting it up

I was like this one doesn't sound familiar Yes it's David Jones And I apologize David Jones from the monkeys Does a lot of coke And jerks off looking out windows Even though he's dead now Now the first occasion

They saw Mr. Jones he stood on the ground floor with the blinds up and a light on, performing a sex act in view of the window while fully naked. He did this while watching the complaint through a pair of binoculars snapping photos of the victim on his fault. He's taking photos of the victim. Yeah, which that's a balsy move. I don't know. Is it like that, if that's a Kodak moment or not, but the look on her face probably was pretty funny. Like, he must, he must really crank it to that.

Like, look how outraged she is. You know, I always think, and I told my wife this, if you're ever in a situation where a guy, like, flashes you or something like that happens, the best defense is the point in laugh. I suppose, but does that enrate? What if it's a violent guy? Yeah, I know. I'm afraid of my wife, but I'm hoping that person won't be a teacher.

You know what you should do is. yell, I bet you won't do anything about it. Point left to what are you going to do about it? You're a pussy like your mother always said. God damn it. Now, his lawyer, I have

to say, his lawyer is working very hard, Michael. His lawyer is working very hard. He is saying, this is his case. This man, Davy Jones, had led a blameless life for 27 years.

His wife became ill just before the pandemic as a consequence of her illness. She lost her job. The defendant was working 10 hours a day, he says, at the Jacobs Biscuit Factory. I don't know if I want this guy jerk it off around biscuits. No, I don't care for the,

the creamy drizzle that comes with those. As long as he doesn't work at the Oreo factory. He was working as a labor, working seven days a week, trying to keep his finances afloat. He was offered cocaine, and it was the worst thing he had ever done. He became addicted to that cocaine, Your Honor, and he believes that that was the dishebulator in the way that he acted.

This is what made him feel like what he was doing was fine. It was the Coke. It seems following his sentence, though, his wife allowed him to stay at their address. He was continuing to use cocaine. He was addicted. His wife found out she told him that the relationship was over and left the property. So now he's there by himself. He's horny as fuck.

Something's missing here. Something's missing here. She's sick. He starts doing coke and she's like, okay, I'm leaving you? Yeah. I think there's an element of the story that maybe the lawyer is leaving out. Like, he was constantly jerking off in people's windows and she asked him to please stop. I'm not going to lie.

I think this is probably about right. She's dealing with an illness and this motherfucker is just doing cocaine. That's not going to be helpful. I guess so. Like I said, like, I think it is a lawyer's spin to be like, well, he's a Coke addict. I don't think Coke just makes you do this. I think it's a kink. There's something inside of you that's coming out.

Now, I've never done Coke, so maybe I'm wrong. But it feels like a leap that suddenly you just be jerking off in windows because you're on below. Well, he's not going to other people's windows. He's just standing in his living room doing it. Well, you know what I mean. Sure. Sure. I mean, there's, there's definitely a step between doing it.

It's your house and do it at other people, so I will say that. I suppose that is a leap if he's going outside and knocking on the window. He's just yelling out. Oh, hey, look up here. Well, you know what? I take it back because now I'm thinking, like, there is an element to, like, don't look in this guy's window. He's jerking off, you know? I mean, it is my window, after all.

Right. I'll jerk it where I want. Technically, when you have your open window, it is public, though, I think. I think that's what they consider. You're masturbating into public. Then we've got to change the laws, gang. Who's with me? I'm going to...

Let's go to City Hall. Lead the way, Mike. Is this guy leading us as we march in? Yeah, he's definitely raising a baton. You know, I'm going to get this guy a lot of credit for, you know, getting it up. with fucking doing coke sometimes it's a problem that's the other thing yeah it's it coke a dick is a notorious thing right like you usually can't get hard yeah so's walking by david jones's window is also notorious these days cheer up sleepy jean now uh he has been sentenced to and he's receiving

a 12-month jail sentence and a handed a five-year restraining order so he is not allowed to jerk off at his window at this poor woman anymore it's so disappointing Yeah, well. Do you think, like, in the rom-com version of this, there's sometimes where she's walking by the window and, like, oh, is he home? This is not a meet-cute scenario, Mike. You don't think it's not going to be a meat-cute?

There was something about the way. I'm still looking for these kids. There was something about the redness of his eyes as he jerked it while taking photos of me. I mean, I got to be honest. I kind of miss it. I look up. I look up a long.

Longingly at the window, and I think I wish there was a hard pecker being cranked. I hear the birds chirping, but it isn't the same without the helicopter flesh sound coming from that window without hearing. Just isn't the same. It doesn't feel like spring. All right, kids. Is there a better way to tell someone you love them than to have a child with them? I suppose there is keeping your mouth shut about it St. Paul, Indiana, a 22-year-old man was charged with child molestation

after his 14-year-old girlfriend reportedly gave birth to his daughter, Mike. I don't care for that phrasing. His 14-year-old girlfriend, they were going steady. They were, and the mother should be arrested. I know. I like, I'm sure you'll get there, but I like where the mother's like kind of annoyed like she never like it's a uh you know a rom-com where this guy goes home to meet the parents and she's like well he doesn't quite fit in with us i would rather she'd pick home a donkey thief than this boy that's right all right court documents detailed the department of child

service investigation began at the hospital when the underage victim had just given birth to a child this happened at shelbyville just in case you were wondering this is a real shelbyville kind of problem. The police responded to question both the victim, the victim's mother, and the presumed father of the newborn. The man accused of molested the teen was identified as Stephen T. Hamilton Jr. Hamilton told police that he knew why he was speaking with them because of his age. He added that he said, oh, you're calling about that whole thing.

Listen, people get hung up on it of a 14-year-old. Everybody's hung up on age these days, older, younger. winter spring who fucking cares i know a guy who doesn't hamilton told police that he knew why he was speaking with him because of his age he added that he considered him and the victim boyfriend and girlfriend according to the probable cause hamilton had been dating the underage victim for nearly two years he told investigators they met through mutual friends when he turned 20 years old I'm going to give this guy a little credit because you don't hear about like Jerry Sandusky

whining and dining his victims, you know? He's just banging him in the shower. This guy, he's a romantic. Like he picked, he found one he liked and he made a life with her. Jay Sandusky's a real bad, Mike. According to the probable cause, again, they've been dating for nearly two years. She's 14 now. Yeah.

That means she was 12 and he was 20 and he was like, I see a future with you. I like crayons too. What the fuck? Did you see the part where it's kind of this little hussy's fault? Because she was 12, but she lied about her age and told him he was 16, which is not a great defense. Like, oh yeah, she was underage, but like, barely. So I thought. Here you go, Mike.

I'll play this for you. Yeah, yeah, blame me on this. Victim. Yeah, it's the victim's fault. It's true. When she finally told him the truth, they continued dating, though. Hamilton said, due to the age gap, they didn't go out in public and enjoyed spending time with each other.

Oh, the old stigma of dating a 12-year-old. Are you fucking? Hamilton added that the Teets family did like the relationship or him. He said he spoke with the Teeds' mom, so she wouldn't think him to be a pedophile and an abuser. It's not a pedophile is not a state of mind. It's not like you can be like, you know what?

I thought he was a pedophile at first, but he's a really nice guy banging my 12-year-old daughter. They met in Walmart when she was buying a phone. How does that happen? She was in there with her other friends, and I guess they knew him, and she was 12. Oh, that's the other thing I wanted to ask you, They said through a mutual friend they met, which what 20-year-old is like,

hey, you got to meet this 12-year-old. A pedophile. The answer is a pedophile. No, he's not a pedophile, damn it. You heard him. Why? Because he talked to this bitch's mom? He's a regular guy who met the parents first.

I can picture this asshole showing up with, like, fucking kids' Valentine's Day candy and flowers. Oh, Power Puff Girl chocolates. Those are nice. Either way, they're going to have to figure out how to make all this work because they have to raise a kid together now. He was charged. Yeah, I don't know. He may lose visitation rights, I'm worried. He was charged with child molesting, level one felony, child molesting, level three felony, sexual misconduct with minor, level five felony and child exploitation, a level five felony. And he's also guilty of loving. just a little too much.

An initial hearing was scheduled for January 17th. Now, Mike, let's go over to Michigan, shall we? And what I like to call the most bonkers story of the day, in my opinion. This might be the craziest defense I've ever heard. And I can't tell from this article if the cops are going for this or not. There's an 87-year-old man in Michigan who's dead, okay? Yes. authorities are saying that's what i didn't i didn't even fully understand this okay i'll explain

it then i got you okay i'm just glad you read it i'm so used to carl um authorities say this guy was killed by his 20 year old grandson and his 50 year old daughter-in-law both of whom allegedly went on to make such bizarre claims to the authorities had to include quote evidence of paranormal paranormal activities in a search warrant right so they were on meth when they We're questioned by the police, I assume. Well, Mike, damn it. Let's talk about Matt, baby, let's talk about a yes, sir, re. Let's talk about all the bad things and the bad things,

Meth Head C. Let's talk about Mep. Jacob and Margaret Kempian are both facing one count each of open murder and conspiracy to commit homicide and a fatal shooting of Alvin Keperman, okay? Mm-hmm. Authorities said that the mother and son live in Wisconsin, they traveled to Michigan where they allegedly killed Alvin. They were arrested in Iowa. Jacob also has an apartment in Minneapolis where he attends college.

Now, they found the body after responding to a wellness check at the house. Upon arriving at the address, first responders said they found Alvin suffering from an apparent gunshot wound to the head. He's pronounced dead at the scene. Investigators are quick to identify Margaret and Jacob as potential suspects. they were reported locally still in Minnesota driving south on interstate 35 towards Iowa they were intercepted by other cops they were arrested at a gas station so according to the report they executed the search warrant and the father I'm sorry guys this article is really fucking confusing and I thought I nailed this when they got arrested they told police

that her son was the one who killed Alvin Kemperman, but both suspects reportedly made numerous outlandish claims about the circumstances of the shooting. Now, Jacob says that when they arrived at Alvin Kemperman's home, they believed that the 87-year-old had already been dead and been killed by evil ghosts. Ooh. So when they got there, the man that they shot was already dead,

and this was an evil monster ghost that was, inside of grandpa and grandpa said that when they when they got there jacob advised that the spirit stated grandpa opened the well up behind the house and that the spirits killed him so like oh no grandpa opened up the old well and now the demons killed him and now they're taking over his body and they're going to kill us so the mom goes yeah and he was jumping around the house and moving around like a 20 year old he's 87 so they're saying that he's like climbing the walls to do it part of orange. He had to kill him.

He was mobile. Sounds like the demons gave him the magic cure. He's fucking Grandpa Joe from Willie Wonka. I got a golden ticket. Pow! Now, they both said that this was their story. This guy was taken over by a demon,

dancing around, singing, dancing, being happy, moving around the house, and they were scared so they shot him. the father of the I'm sorry the father of Jacob the son of Alvin the husband of Margaret is like these two are assholes and they were going there to get money from him right which is what anyone reading this article would think right like that that's the part I didn't understand is like are the police believing the paranormal activity thing like why or is it just a hilarious excuse that they're using well their lawyer is saying this and they were told The police were told during the searching of the house that they were to take anything that could be used as evidence of paranormal activity, spirits, possession of bodies, including but not limited to copies of the 2015 movie The Visit for some reason. Fucking M. Knight-Sharmelon got dragged into this shit. Now, they're being held in jail without bond, and they're both being undergoing competency evaluation. Now, I think this is just their story that they made up because, in a way, there's no way they're going to be able to prove it.

Right. It seems like, it seems like a story, like in a sitcom episode where it's like, okay, we've murdered grandpa. How do we get out of this? We'll say it was aliens. And then like somehow, like, would they get people to believe their story or something? Yes. But in real life, it's not going to work or I wouldn't think it would. Correct.

absolutely correct this should not work but what i think's happening here and the brilliance of this could be what if you get the two stupid ghost-loving idiots on a jury right well i guess so yeah that's all you need right all you need i guess all you need to do is act like you believe it and people will believe you man it's insane yeah i just don't know why that shouldn't be even be allowed to be brought into court because they still... It's not a plea of insanity. It's not like we have something in the judicial system

that says, like, well, if aliens tell you to do it, that's a different issue. Right. Like, the guy's still fucking dead and someone killed him. So you have the right to a defense, right? You get arrested. And you say to the cops, Grandpa is filled with demons

and I had to shoot him in the head or he was going to kill us. He was dancing around. Yeah. The cops, when you go to trial, they're going to put the cops on the stand and say, say happened.

And now the cops have to sit there and say, well, they said this happened. And it just introduces the whole fucking thing. I suppose, yeah. This is, I would love, listen, man, Jacob, Margaret, call me. All will represent you. I will represent you. Oh, you're in on this. You're a big alien guy.

It's not aliens. This is demons and ghosts. I'm sorry. How silly of me. How foolish. They're very different. No, I just want to try to gaslight a jury. I think it'd be really fun to do this.

That would be fun That I'm on board for you Yeah It would just be fun You can be one of the lawyers Two We'll put on suits And we'll go

And then we'll represent them All right Now I'm in You've sold me I'm pretty easy Yeah It's just a suit And fun

That's all it is It's fun afternoon It's like How far do you think We're gonna get We're real lawyers We'll get We'll get Nickeated

To deputize us Or something That'll work Excellent All right I'm in I was a I'm skeptical at first, but I'm in now.

You can call me Vinnie the good lawyer. Now, let's keep out moving, shall we're going to go back across the pond. We're going to meet a woman named Shannon Driver who's 27 years old. And boy, she's a mother. She has one young son, but she's not allowed to see him anymore, Mike. She's been ordered to not be left alone with any children after a terrifying incident, which had her threatening to throw her child out of a window. Yeah, that felt harsh.

Are people not allowed to change? You know, you have one incident where you almost throw a kid out the fucking window. Michael Jackson could be around kids again, you know? There's a reason why you put the fence, you know, a couple feet away from the cliff, the edge of the cliff. Just in case somebody falls over, there's a problem. Right. Don't leave her alone with kids. Let her around kids.

Don't leave her alone with them. There you go. But guess who, guess who wasn't listening? Her new boyfriend who happens to have an 18-month-year-old. year old little baby named Jackson. Okay. That's who's not listening to the judge. He had to go to work and he needed someone to watch little Jackson.

And obviously he's fucking Shannon and she's there. Boy, does she love kids. She's looking for a second chance. Well, I mean, Shannon wanted to kill her own kids, not someone else's, right? That's fine. That's a good point. You're allowed to do whatever you want to with your property. Now, that's right.

On September 18th and 2020, right? police were scrambled to Jackson's home in Bexhill, East Sussex, found reports that a child was seriously injured. Driver claimed that the tot had slipped in the shower when asked by what happened with the officers. Now, the parents were forced to make an agonizing decision because this kid ended up on life support for days and they ended up having to take him off and the baby died. But the post-mortem found that Jackson suffered significantly non-accidents related injuries that and suggested someone inflicted trauma on this child that the baby was violently shook and gripped tightly around the chest well being shaken swung around and thrown and slammed

down on a hard surface well if the baby was acting up like how else do you get it to shut the fuck up well you don't do fucking bam bam with the thing you don't just take it and slap it around i've never heard anything i thought that's how you were you supposed to do shake the baby i've never heard anything to contradict that that's true i haven't seen that on a billboard No, wait, maybe I did. Wait a second. I think it said never shake a baby, Mike. That's what a great Jim Jeffries joke is when he has a kid,

and he's talking about you have to read this book. It's called Don't Shake the Baby. And he goes, I think the title was enough. Like, who's reading that title and thinking, there must be more to this? That's a good point. It's a good point. Not one that's going to be a real page turner, I don't think.

Right. That is the one case we can judge a book by its cover, folks. So she is going to be sentenced on March 27th, but she has been found guilty of this child's murder. Fuck her. If a court has ordered someone not to be around children, there's a fucking reason for it. Don't leave your kids with them.

Don't care how good the pussy is. That's your lesson, kids. Yeah. I mean, like my producer, Craig deals with the same thing. And he's had to stay away from kids. but you have to make a conscious effort when people put those restrictions on it on you like he takes it very seriously

and he's constantly aware he always tells me ooh there might be kids in this neighborhood he gets very excited we can't go to those neighborhoods because there's a deal in place yeah it's a deal in place

all right Amanda Davidson thank you for the 50 bucks super chats from Amanda gotta hop to a meeting thanks to this duo Vinnie and Mike for the Mike Warnke story via blind mic project it was really a banger agreed oh yeah the creep off fans you

would enjoy go check that out and he was on why you laughing a few months ago and we talked about mike warkey who is a great character he's a real creep yeah he looks like a wet whart hog that guy he's just the ugliest sweatiest ball of charisma i've ever seen that fucking mike warkey i think on that episode craig said if bush light was a person or something like that which i that was a pretty good description. Agreed. Agreed. He had a mullet that just looked soft.

Like, it looked like if you took, like, you couldn't see the individual hairs. It looked like if you took the, you know, the pillowcase off of, like, a couch cushion or a couch pillow. That's just all a big ball of fluff. Right. Oh, interesting. Yeah. That's good description.

Just really shitty. Come it. Let's go to California. What a hilarious guy. Hey, guys. Did you know that the. there's no such thing as justice in california are you aware of this mike why is that well a california woman who stabbed a man she was dating 100 times and killed him before turning the knife

on herself and her dog has been handed 100 hours of community service this one actually i heard about like last week i did this actually made big news brin specter 33 was given the astonishingly low sentence following psychiatrists ruling that the tragedy was quote 100% caused by cannabis induced psychosis how could it be 100

is anything 100% anything like that's wild to say 100% of it was caused by weed yeah they're saying that this happened she stabbed this guy 100 times she stabbed the dog she stabbed herself because of weed

yeah she took two hits off of the victim's bong the judge ruled that spectra's experienced a psychotic a psychotic break from reality and had no control over her actions when she killed chad o'melia then 26 on memorial day weekend it's also surprising in california where that's been a staple medical marijuana has been legal in california for so long that like there's no precedence to to suggest that this would be caused by weed other drugs But it's, again, where it's like we're putting it on the drugs now, the same with the Coke thing, where it's like, what would make, why, what other evidence is there that this, the drugs are making them do this? Mike, I'm just going to point out the obvious here. If you told me this woman did this because of Coke, I would believe you. More than. Cannabis. Yes.

Now, listen to this shit. She's got to spend 100 hours educating others on marijuana-induced psychosis and two years of progress. and two years of probation, but has promised to spend the rest of her life debunking the myth that cannabis is harmless. Oh, good. Okay, so this is basically like an anti-weave judge. This is like...

Riefer fucking madness propaganda is what we have here. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. They're going to make her be the minister of reifer propaganda. No more of the days where you can always argue you'll just sit on the couch and eat funnions. It's a killer's drug. She said she felt pressured by O'Mealia, who is a regular smoker, who she'd been dating for a month.

Within minutes of inhaling the potent cannabis-infused vapor for the second time, she began hearing and seeing things that weren't there. Lay into it, honey. It wasn't weed, then. Right. She was believing that she was dead and that she had to stab in O'Malia in order to bring herself back to life. Oh, so it's a you versus me,

situation here you need to were they were they even able to prove she was high I mean they probably did a blood test I get how long does that oh a blood test I guess it's longer right I was going to say how does that stay in your system well top forensic

psychiatrist concluded that this experience was 100% again consistent with a previous account of cannabis induced psychosis they Dr. Timothy Fung said we know pretty conclusively that Marijuana can lead to psychiatric illness. Are there other cases of that? I guess.

I knew it was a gateway drug, but I didn't know it was the gateway to fucking this. Gateway to murder. The gateway to fucking your death. I mean, we can't. Way to murder would have been a great like dare program title for a way of video they showed in school or something. Yeah, that's what this girl's hundred hours are going to be. Don't ever smoke weed. It'll make you stab your dog.

You will lose your shit. I really hate that she goes, she felt pressured by this guy. It's again, we're victim blaming here. Baby you're dead. I'm a blame it all on you. You. It's fucked up.

It's very 1980s to be like, hey, you want this joint? Uh, not really. What are you a pussy? And then they take it and murder somebody. like I hate this woman I really just like this whole thing her father told the courtroom

that his daughter had spent her time on probation volunteering at her local pet store and learning silent she's playing with puppies she stabbed a dog she already murdered one dog and now this fucking guy's dead he's stabbed a hundred times

and she gets to play with puppies Mike her consequences she's high Vinnie what aren't you getting about this it was the drugs Little puppy breath is a drug, Mike. Little puppies are a drug. But that's enough intoxication for her enough.

Yeah. Listen to this quote. I wish I had no more about the dangers of marijuana had I know known I would never have smoked it that night or at all. I think that weed makes me sleep or God knows what I'd be doing. And there's your lesson, kids. All right. Last story of the scump parade before we do our special surprise. category for today's episode a gentleman in london i believe named reginald allen roach bled to death despite

frantic efforts to save his life the 63 year old had a history of mental illness and was discovered by a retired nurse as she walked her collie she said she's walking past the field and she sees a hump in the grass where it turned out to be the man in a recovery position now mr roach has had some issues in the past. He had been wanted on a police warrant. And part of the problem is that he would

there was some sexual assault allegations his dick was getting him in trouble. So basically what happened was there's a warrant out for his arrest. He went out to a field and he decided you know what? I don't need this dick anymore. I'm sick of this thing. This thing has gotten me nothing but

trouble. and I'm not going to take it anymore. Who's in charge of who here, Mr. Penis? And that's when he chopped off his own dick and had a heart attack. And this fucking lady's walking by with her collie and she finds this fucking guy clutching his chest with a dick in his hand just laying on the ground convulsing. And unfortunately, they weren't able to save him. So here's the lesson, kids.

you can say no you don't need to chop it off have just some self-control you don't need to take it to this level maybe they were also trans though you know wow he didn't start a new life with this decision didn't work out i just like the idea that if you went back to that that park or wherever the hell he was and uh chopped your penis off and then had a heart attack and bled out someone would be like oh this again it's fun that that happened somewhere you know saw this show already you know yeah i i feel bad for that poor collie

because that well not really i don't feel bad for the collie i feel bad for the nurse she sees this poor guy tries to help him the collie grabs the dick runs off with it now you got a lost dog and a dead man you got to deal with it's a bad day for everybody it's a bad day for everybody that's what i wonder like

what led to that because that guy literally the guy thought like hey my penis is the root of all my problems i wonder if that's because of like the way the media's been for the last 10 years just being like yeah men men suck and he was like you know what you're right we do let me get rid of this pesky thing you know what this guy is a go-getter in a way isn't he yeah i tell you not to do this he looked at this and he thought to himself you know what i have a problem and I need to be the one to fix it. No one else could fix it for me. Forget everything I said.

Let's nip this in the bud. Yeah. Forget what I said. Go ahead, chop it off. I don't care. It's fine. Whatever you need to do. That is our scum parade today, Mike.

Did you have fun on the scum parade? I did. It was a real treat. Thank you for having me. You're the first person who ever said that. But thank you. Really? Yeah.

Oh. We're demented people. Now, I promised everybody a special category today. And Mike and I picked it. It's very simple. today's competition will begin now carl has the bell on his board i cannot ring it but the category is creepiest podcast co-host dig dig dig dig uh should we both say it on the count of three sure one two three carl carl from w at p yes well i consider him carl from w a t s actually

go ahead tell why is carl your creep today oh well to me mostly The videos that I've seen recently where he has tricked the elderly into marrying him and seems to bully them. Like, he's like, hey, start the grill for me, all that kind of stuff. It's, it's elder abuse seems to be what he's doing. And he's obviously got some sort of geriatric fetish. Like he's, he's, he, I was about to say it unironically, he's a creep. Like the, the behavior I've seen and Stuttering John's 100% right. Like when he's celebrate, Carl is done due to his perversions that have been exposed over the last week.

Yeah. Now, I'm going to make my nomination. I nominate Craig as the creepiest podcast co-host. That's actually, I'm honestly a much better. I'm just fucking around. It's Carl. You could vote for Carl at the creepoff this week. You could vote for Vinny with Carl.

You can vote with Mike with Carl. But if you vote for Vinny with Carl, Carl gets to spend when he comes back. Isn't that a fun treat for him? Oh, just fucking around. I also did half-ass my cell of that so that Vinny would win. So make sure even team, if your team Mike vote for Vinny. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

That's fucked up. Now, before we get out of here, we got some voicemails from last week. You want to hit up some voicemails with me, Mike? I'd love to. All right. The creep-off voicemail segment is brought you by the city of Syracuse. Our heart goes out to the Lions fans after blowing it going ahead 17. Later, though, they swore to everyone they thought the lead was at least 18.

You won't be in Vegas, but we hope to see you in Syracuse. All right. Now, this one came in from our boy, Brian from Detroit, who's probably having a bad day. Vinny, Brian from Detroit. Hey, buddy. I really, really, really fucking hope you guys do a bonus episode on the new Vince McMahon stuff. It's fucking so great. So, uh, read up on it, man, please do a bonus episode.

I cannot fucking wait to hear what you can feel those. Good time of us. You guys are the best. Thanks, buddy. Bye. You better fucking bet your ass. I'm doing a bonus episode about that. Have you heard this stuff, Mike?

Yeah, we were talking about it on Kirk Minahan show earlier today. But is this, as a WWE fan, are you sort of in Vince McMahon's pocket? It makes me like a more. It makes me like a more. No, good, good, good. No. I love Vince because Vince is, oh, this is just proven Vince is exactly who I think Vince is. Yeah, that's what I, that was my point is that it's, it does seem very Vince McMahon.

Like, I can kind of see it. you know, if you go back and we talked about it on when we inducted him into the Creepoff Hall of Fame, he's already a member. So, like, I was going to ask if this makes him. I didn't realize he already was. Oh, he's already in. This is a revisit that we're going to do on Vince. We're going to talk about the, uh, the dildo collection named after wrestlers that he used on this poor girl. Yep, that got brought up today. That was new information that I learned. Yeah. He's got and folks, here's the news flash. He named them after wrestlers. Each one, had a name and the name was based on the skin color of the dildo. Yes. Here comes Farouk.

Oh, Mark Henry. Oh, shit. This one's pink and gay. It's Sean Michaels. All right. Let's keep moving. Someone who wants to talk about why Carl likes football. Carl likes football because he thinks about brown ball.

in his face all day long but for many don't call me back thank you sir good points yeah he told me that once Carl he's like you know I was listening to the show I was going to read all these stories but I just can't stop thinking about brown balls is what he said that's right yeah all right hello this is a call for tubby and clubby's criminal consulting business I'm looking for your advice I'm planning a heist I want to get some input from the experts like you went for the creep-off so I can do this right. I'm trying to stealing 11-year-old iPad Mini in around $190 from a 400-square-foot apartment, started by a 58-year-old buffoon and two malnourish cats.

I've got a team of roaches already on the inside working for me, and I'm planning to bribe the door guard with a case of O'Doole's. Thank you in advance. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you, bye. Now, I want to correct you, sir. It is that called Tubby and Clubby's criminal consulting business? It's Tief and Tits.

That's the name of it. Teeth and Tuts. I like Tubby and Clubby a little better, though. Okay, that's fine. I feel like that's too cute. That's true. It doesn't present the badass image you guys are going for. Teeth and tits sound like, fuck yeah.

Who are you going to call? Clubby and Tubby. You're going to call Tief and Tits. That's that, you know what? Yeah, I forgot the mission. of the duo. So yeah, you're right. I think that's the better job. Carl's in marketing. We got to give him the best name to work with. That's right. Well, he's back in marketing now since he was run off the internet horribly. You people are monsters. He's a human being. He's a human being.

He's a human being. His podcasting reign is over. Oh, shit. Okay. Here's my advice, sir. Leave the iPad, leave the money. The roaches aren't the roaches. Just let them take it. Just let them have the place. You don't need to get involved. It's a mess. It's not worth it. It's not worth it. All right, guys.

This show's all about voting for creeps. It's an election year. Here's what I'd like to see. Let's get some fucking creep-off. I-voted stickers in the store in time for the fucking election. Like the creep-off logo and it says I voted or, you know, which creep did you vote for? Like, I think that'd be some good, some good fucking advertisement, some stickers and bumper stickers and shit. And since I'm so magnanimous, maybe a couple freebies thrown my way for the idea, 45 seconds, boom.

Oh, I'm definitely going to do that. You ain't getting shit. Just kidding. We'll send you one, pal. Don't let me forget. When you see us market these in about a month, don't let me forget. I'll send you some. That's a great idea.

Creep off I voted stickers. That's awesome. Are people using stickers nowadays, though? That's the only question you've got to ask. Well, Mike, I don't know if you notice. There's a bunch on your back. oh no people have been kicking me all day

yeah people say you for years at this point all right the podcast prophets call it hey it's the podcast prophet

holy spirit speaking through me uh Jason Kelsey I believe is Travis Kelsey's brother at the game I did watch

fuck you Carl and ha ha But the fucking douchebag, like, you guys talk about the Taylor Swift rub. I think the fucking guy is trying to, like, rip off Burt Chrysher. Like, that's Burt's thing. It's like the beer in the hand shirt off. Ah, party guy. This fucking asshole.

Fucking, like, suck my dick. Thank you, fuck you, bye. Actually, not a bad point. He is trying to be the new Burt on account of the old Burt slipping. Ripping off the machine, yeah. Well, you know, new Burt's all fucking doing testosterone. own. He's getting all jacked. He's trying to be like... Running 5Ks, yeah.

Yeah, with Florida, too. Can they laugh? We talked about him a couple weeks ago on my show because, like, a lot of his Instagram posts are very influencer-y now. Like, you know, rather than being comedy first, it's almost like he'll slip comedy into a power of motivation type video. Yeah, it's great. He'll give you a lecture before he sits there and giggles about eating peanut butter. Fucking great, Bert. fucking annoying

I don't know why you guys hate him so much I liked the machine the first time I saw it like the first time I saw him tell the story yeah I don't know I find his standard to be like fine I think he I think he's okay on podcast I know his laugh annoys people but like outside of that I don't think he's bad on podcast he's going to work forever because he's taking care of the right people he's doing a lot of good things

for a lot of people so I'll give him that Carl, Vinny, Simon calling back in. I don't actually edge to you guys. I was just trying to think of the creepiest thing to send to the voicemail. Thank you. I figured that would work. And also, unfortunately, I would love to be honored to come on on the show on a Monday. But unfortunately, I work a day job.

And the reason why I can only watch your guys' show is because I work in a pretty relaxed shop. And I'm grateful for that. But also, thankful for all the entertainment you guys put out every single week with WATP, the creep off, and WATS, and WATS, and WATB. Love you guys. Thank you, fuck you, bye. Thank you, Simon. That was a wonderful thing. And Mike and I really appreciate it, as the backbones of this network.

That's true. Yeah. Where would he be without doing? You guys got way more voicemails than us, though. Got that guy should call us and be like, hey, WATS is great, you know? Don't come on this show and try to poach my voicemailers. I'm just saying Thursday's at 6.

Probably more convenient time for this guy to watch than one in the afternoon, you know? I'll tell you what. You could have this guy. Submission for creepy voicemail? Vinnie Carl.

Yeah, that's all by. Yeah, that was lame, buddy. But you could have that guy. If you want. All right, fine. Folks, the contest is open. If you want to leave us a creepy voicemail, just make sure you start with

this is an entry for the creepiest voice spell competition so I know I don't want to be really creeped out by you people so uh check those out and go to the creepoff.com this week and vote for carl ha ha ha ha ha this has been a lot of fun today mike thank you for filling in I always have a great time chatting with you dude and uh obviously vice versa if you ever need a filling for anything please please call carl or something oh okay I was actually considering asking you to come on the blind mic project next week but we'll talk okay sure do anything you need buddy anything for you all right thanks everybody for watching it's nice to be important

but don't forget it's more important to be nice gagia what the hell is it supposed to be It's the Kramer That you bitch