The Creep Off - Episode 2: Scum Stream Bonus Episode

Episode Date: August 30, 2021

Karl & Vinnie are traveling this week. Enjoy the audio version of the first ever Scum Stream Bonus episode! Check out Patreon for a brand new bonus episode with Dick Masterson from the Dick Show!patreon.com/thecreepoff

All right. Hey, you want to do the intro again? Let's do the intro again. Did nobody hear any of that? No. I fucked up. Okay. Start over. It was so professional, folks. Believe me. We crushed it.

It was the best introduction I've ever done. All right, here we go. That's not saying much. I want a skum stream with Carrel and Vinny. I need a skum stream with grief tonight. I want a skum stream with Carl and Vinny. I got to have some pals and people who just ain't right. I need a scum stream.

I want a scum stream. I need a scum stream. Everybody, welcome to the very first edition of the scum-scum-stream. That's why he's one-take-vitty. He can't do two tanks. and the great words of Mr. Frank Sinatra and you paid for these seats

so ladies and gentlemen it's the scum stream what is the scum stream you may be watching what is the scum stream biddy well let's explain it it's very simple it is at the scum parade but better and longer and way more fun yes lots more scum lots more scum Carl's here I'm here

it's a Thursday night you're here I got the fancy chair because we're doing a Thursday night show. I was being nice to you. You like that? I mean, this is a visual thing, but I want to explain to people that this is a live stream. Sit in the nice chair. I'm a good guy. Thank you. All right. Thank you to

our Patreon supporters. Holy shit. This is blown up and we're excited about it. Thank you guys for supporting us. All the new patrons, thank you for joining us. If you were going to be commenting tonight in the YouTube, I'm going to be monitoring it and Carl will be monitoring the Patreon chat. So, if you want to chat with either one of us, use those two options.

and shout out which team you're on, if you don't mind. It's always nice to know who's making the comments. Well, chances are they'll be shouting out to team Carl's Cousal Ruse because, as you know, there was a victory this week, Biddy. There was another victory. How many games are we playing at once right now? Technically two. Technically two.

Okay, just the two. Well, here's the deal. There's supposedly three wheels, and we're going to discuss this right now before we get started. Okay. There is the regular wheel. which the voting is still open on for this week. The Wheel of Consequences. The regular wheel of consequences.

I could win this week and you would have to spin on Monday. It's very possible. It's a tight race right now. It is. Okay. But folks, just throw that out there. You know who you're going to vote for.

Jump on there. There's a chance for a flawless victory this week. This is actually, we got paid a lot of money by the Mortal Kombat people to do a little product placement. So I'm going to let Carl beat me play the little flawless victory thing. And then we get $10,000. But do we have to watch that shitty movie, though? No. Okay, good.

But you still have to watch cuties, dickhead. I do. I know. I'm way behind on my consequence. It's not like me. So here's the deal, folks. We're ranting and babbling. It's a live stream.

There's not as much structure as usual. Sorry about that. But there's the bonus episodes are looser, Vinny. This is what I do on WATP, too, because the people who are watching and listening already like us. I wish I had a balcony. What do you mean? I need a balcony and a beer. That's what I need for this.

It's not that lose. Okay. So there's also going to be the Patreon wheel. Or what we might do is set this up a little bit different. It's going to depend on what you patrons think here. What if we were to pick three consequences from the wheel and let you guys vote which consequence the loser has to do? I love that. More voting the better, I say.

Yeah. So you have to spin the Patreon wheel. Yep. Well, because let's talk about the score for Patreon. Everybody wants to know. It's whoever got to 50 first. That is correct. Was the rule. That is correct.

Okay. Carl? Yes. The current score is 59 to 53. You got to 50 before me, Dave. I got to turn that off. Hold on. That is right.

Thank you to all the Carl's cousin roos out there. Thank you for supporting. I do appreciate that. Well, all of the Vianan true believers, I apologize, but I want to thank you all for being behind me. We tried. We will live to fight another day. So I'm thinking the three things that I will voluntarily go with. One of them I absolutely do not want to do, which is dinner with a listener.

I will put that up. I'll put that up. Can Storm the Capitol be one of the consequences? Die your hair white. For your Vianna true believers. And you know what else? Because I'm brave, and it was the newest one, I'll throw in past the spin.

Don't put it past the spin. Oh, no, no. Why not? That's fucking cheating. You threw it in there. I know that's cheating, though. You can't let people vote on that. The newest one is your buddy Colin.

Oh, no, no, no. You don't want to do that one? I really don't. I know exactly how a knife-fetched chop feels. I'm not into it. Okay. I am not into getting my titty's bruised. I would like to see that in slow motion, though.

Oh, it would be so fun. Dude, your chest, your puny, like, your chest is already practically inverted. Like, you think you don't have a chin. His fucking chest goes in like this. And, I mean, it's going to crush you. You will die if he does it to you. Okay. Okay.

All right, so you don't want to put that one on there. Oh, I just got called out by our pal, Alex, just got called out. That said that was loser talk for not wanting to take the chops. Yeah, seriously. Have we decided how many chimes? chops? We have not. I guess until you tap, right? Until I tap. Okay, one. What's college finishing move? I don't think he ever got to it, did he? No, I don't think he did either. I don't think he has a finishing move. Okay, okay. I'll do dinner with the listener. How many knife

fetched chops? Let's be real here. I'm not taking 10. No fucking way. I don't know. It's fake. Who cares? They're not fake. That's the one thing that, that's one of the moves that is not I do that would piss you off Oh, you're a dick So how many you think? Three? How about three? Okay.

Three knife-edge chops from Colin? Do you want to put that as one of the things people can vote on? I'm being called a pussy in the YouTube. That's all it takes? It's like Marty McFly. Absolutely. What are you chicken? Okay.

That's all it takes. I love it. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. Just to see what happens, here's the deal I'll make you. I'll make you this deal, Carl. And I'm going to need you Vian on True Believers. I'm really.

really going to need some of you guys to fucking help me out here. I will take four knife edge chops if you let me put past the spit on for the third consequence of the voting. No, because that doesn't make any sense because now we're letting people vote. I've already been voted as the winner. They voted with their money. And now you're saying, now vote again. It doesn't make any sense.

I don't like that. All right. Dinner with the listener. Three knife edge chops. Okay. Live stream from Syracuse Mall. Okay. You guys can decide those will be my Patreon consequences you can pick.

I like it. Okay. Fuck. I love it. So now what happens? Because we still want people to come on and vote for who they like on the Patreon. Yeah, absolutely. And since I've gotten to 59 now, we can't just keep going to every 50 interval.

I'm in the lead to begin. You're technically in the lead. That's fine. You could stay in that lead. but whoever gets to 100 next gets a point and we're going to do best of five oh okay so every 50 as it accumulates how does that sound yeah okay sure

all right yeah I like it so in other words if I get to 100 and you're at 99 you get nothing if I get to 100 in year of 51 you get nothing we're 53 now I guess so yeah I'm at 53 people are going to unsubscribe they're going to change they're going to switch over to the cause of people like to be with a winner this is a known. I'm the conqueror of consequences, dude. I will take the chops. All right. I will go to the

fucking mall. I'll have dinner with one of you fucking slobs. Okay, so the side contest is now, now that we've established who won Patreon. You won Patreon. Every 50 votes that you get going forward gets you another point, and we're playing to five. And we will play for points on different games during whenever we do a bonus episode, we'll come up with a way for you to vote on a point for whoever wins. So we're going to have points on Patreon from both people, subscribing, as well as our Patreon bonus shows will have a point structure. That is correct. This is getting very confusing. I think

that... I have lost. I just think that we're going to have fun with it. And we're going to give the people what they really want. Where's Alex? We need to write this down. Alex, please. Because honestly, this is what's going to happen. Two weeks from now, we'll be doing a show and spouting a completely different rules. Like, oh, I thought it was this. And we won't even fucking know. That's what makes the game charming. That's what makes it great. there's no real rules oh boy all right cool that's why i always like to call this the worst

contest on the internet oh i thought it was the worst because of the content of it not because we're just bad at contest no no all around the worst yeah there's everything about it's the worst exactly right god i like we're pretty much terrible all right i'm with you on that well folks we're having a good time i'm not having a good time i'm gonna have to fucking spin this wheel uh well you guys are gonna vote right yeah see yeah we already forgot the rule i told you that was going to happen. Two minutes later, I got to go spit a wheel now. The truth is, we

can't afford another wheel, and I don't want to erase everything and have to rewrite. So we're like, shit, what do we get to do? Start buying more wheels? Or just let people vote? We're not buying wheels, God damn. Yeah, I mean, what do you think we're made of wheels? This Patreon money's going where it belongs? Meth. Lots of meth. Correct. Correct. Which I

still think should be on the wheel of consequences. Okay. Well, well, ladies and gentlemen, where to start today? We are ready to talk about some scumbags. are you, Carl? Let's go into the scum parade. Because Vinny's a creep. And Carl's a weirdo.

I'm not kidding around. They're both a generous psychopaths with no business in a civilized society. And they're going to take you on a scum parade. So a while back, Carl, I got an email from a fan of the show, Crunk Daddy 68. yeah i believe he's a member of the merry marching society i hope he's listening i appreciate them now uh merch is coming your way crunk daddy is a great dude and he decided to uh buy us a cameo oh do remember this i don't he bought us a cameo a couple months ago and we played it on the show and for those of you who don't remember you may remember you may this may jog your memory uh as to what it was here we go

yo what the fuck is cracking is you boy eat that pussy four four five and you're listening to the creep off a show about creeps, buy creeps, and for you creeps. That's right, because I used to have him on my board. That's right. He was one of the drops that we use. And this is an Eagles fan who's famous on YouTube for freaking out about the Eagles. Now, his real name is Bryant-Termin-Emerson-Morland. And his username is EDP 445, short for Eat That Pussy, 4-4-5.

Like you said, he did like crazy vulgar rants and raged rants at the Eagles. Yeah. And now he is on the internet for some different reasons, Carl. Oh, yeah? And this is a fun one. And here's why. Do you remember how I always tell you, bud, how I watch those videos of the predator poachers? It's your favorite thing in the world.

My world's collided. Wow. That's who caught our boy, eat that pussy, 445. He's a predator of some type? Talking to a 13-year-old girl, Carl. Was it a 13-year-old girl? No, it was not. He was set up by adults.

don't fucking go down this road again with you trying to defend every fucking pervert there is in town. But this guy got busted by the predator poachers. And what they do is they set up these fake accounts. They specifically wait to be approached by adults. They don't make any first contact with anybody. They wait to be approached. And then all they do is just go with the conversation and see where it goes. They're very good at trapping people.

And I assume it probably is some level of entrapment. Can we at least agree on that? Oh, definitely. So, Carl, I finally get to show you one of those videos. Oh, good. Are you ready to watch The Predator Poachers in Action on Eat That Pussy 445, the YouTube famous Eagles fan? Yep, let's see it.

Here we go. So before we get into any of the messages right here, I have 84 messages. Okay. So we have you talking to Sophie, correct, yes or no? Right. Okay. Sophie is how old? Before, and again, I have it right here.

I know the answer, but I just. need you to tell me the answer. How old is 13? 13. Okay. Oops. And before we get into the messages, there was sexual content involved, yes or no. Right. And you said, correct. Okay. All right. How did he even get the phone close to his dick? It's the first time he saw his dick. Um, well, how was, uh, coming out here to... Glass is off. This guy's not even a cop. I love how he has a puffed up. Cup cake. That, that's the funniest fucking thing to me with these, Carl.

Why is he answering any of these questions? He doesn't need to. What are the idiot? He does not need to. These people are not cops. All that they are is just fucking people who have a wet, who have the internet. That's all they are. And, uh, you got catfished. You should be pissed at them. Well, you were catfishing me, motherfucker? That would be a funny response.

You motherfucker, I came here with a semi in my pants and you were catfishing me. You're fucking, your days are numbered by front. What are you, a cowboys fan? Yeah, you're fucking going down, Giants fan. So, can I read to you some of the things. that our man eat that pussy sent to what he thought was a 13-year-old girl? I wish you would. Okay.

She says, what's you doing? And he was very honest with his response. Yeah. He was a little too honest. He said, I have this sex toy. It's called a fleshlight, and I'm fucking it. That's a way to get a 13-year-old excited right there. And the funny part is he actually typed that twice.

Like, he said it twice. So that he said, I couldn't help myself. And she goes, Oh, how does it look? And he goes, he sends a picture of it. I've never heard of this. I've heard of Dick Picks. I've never heard of sending a picture of a flashlight in text.

So listen, we're having this conversation and the door to the studio is wide open and the club is open for business. So I'm going to close it very quickly. All right. Yeah, the comedy club's open again. But fortunately, we're not right next to the room where the comedian is going to be like we were that one time. Yeah, the comedy shows back here, people. That's right. So he goes, I got to say, if you're trying to make a.

13 year old jealous. This is a good way to do. I'd be like, I don't even need you. This fleshlight is seven. This thing. This flesh light is six months old. That's fucking hilarious that he's on a picture of his fuck toy. If you want to show someone how desperate you are, that's a good way to go. Well, I love this because he actually explains it to the 13 year old girl. I really enjoy this. He goes, so pretty much I stick my cock slash dick inside of here and it's supposed to feel like a vagina. I doubt it, but it feels amazing. you lube it up and you stroke. Wait a second. He's never fucked a girl before. That's what I'm thinking, Carl. Eagles, it's supposed to feel like a vagina. I doubt it feels like a vagina. You would either know if it does or doesn't.

Well, he's an Eagles fan. He's also 5,000 pounds. Yeah, he is. He's two of me, this guy. Dude, he's twice your size. And he's trying to fuck a 13-year-old. I wouldn't put an adult underneath this guy, let alone a 13-year-old.

Here, look at this picture. He said her. Oh, that's another thing. Kiss your daddy. night, L.O.L. Sleep tight, Princess, he says. So this is why I'll never get busted for this. It's not because I don't want to fuck a 13-year-old. It's because I don't have the self-esteem. It's because he realizes that the space on your hard drive is never really deleted unless you cover it up with other files.

That's why he'll never be caught everybody. No, I don't have the self-esteem to fall for this shit. As soon as someone asks, if I said a picture of myself to a girl and she responds, I know I'm getting catfished. There's no fucking way a real live girl is going to be like, oh, I still am interested in you after seeing your face. love this conversation with a 13 year old what you do it well I have this sex toy it's called it's insane

I'm fucking it you know should we just start can't fishing pedophiles this sounds like a more fun job to what we do I gotta be honest with you man I would love to I know you if there's anybody who has any connection any of these pedophile poachers things please get in touch with your boy I don't know if you talked about on the show but Kaya used to do this he used to actually

trap pedophiles on message boards and then send them spyware and fuck up their computers awesome when he was a teenager love it We should talk to him about that next time we do a show. These fucking people need to fucking get caught. Yeah. And this is to me, it seems to be the craziest deterrent out there. And I don't understand how any pedophile that has the internet wouldn't know that this exists by now.

They can't help themselves. And they all know it exists. And they cannot fucking help themselves. The temptation is too great. They look at it and they go, 95% chance. This is some white dude who wants to kick my ass, but there's a 5% chance. It could be a 6'5 ginger. Who's going to beat this shit out of me?

Yeah. But if you watch these videos, they're generally follow a pretty simple formula. It's not hard to do. And what's great is they always trick them to go to Walmart. Okay, yeah, big public place. Yeah, they always end up meeting in the toy department in Walmart. Okay. And that makes me very, very nervous.

Because I may visit that quite frequently, and I just get a little worried. Oh, boy. I don't want to just walk in that aisle one day. They'd be like, oh, look, Marvel Legends. And then be like, oh, shit. Is anyone watching the stream? You can look behind me, although you can't see it from this angle. This place is littered with toys.

Vinny is not joking. He loves buying toys and collectibles, and he does go to Targets and Walmarts to purchase toys all the time. Got a problem? No, I just thought it was a fun fact. I thought I thought throughout that fun fact for everybody. I was there. I'm just here for a Jerry Lawler figure.

I just wanted Jerry Lawler. fucking Michael C. Oh, that guy. Okay, so that's our boy. Eat that pussy 4, 4, 5. He got accused. Now, what happens is because these people aren't cops, what they do is they post these online.

And the cops just subscribe to the YouTube channel. And when they find people that they think are bad enough, they just go arrest them. So is this guy been arrested yet, do you know? To my knowledge, no. Interesting. This just cap. Why would he stand there and answer those questions?

That's so stupid. And what's so fucking funny about it is, I'm going to, like, pull this back up, but I'm going to fast forward it just a little bit. So before we get into any of the mess, do you recognize me? No. Okay. I had to make sure myself, I had to make sure myself that all these rumors were true. It sucks, man.

I watched you in high school. Me and my friend, Sean, thought they were hilarious, man. It's sad. I appreciate it, man. I appreciate it, man. You do appreciate it? Quick question. How long will this?

You fucking walking garbage bag? You appreciate it? What I don't understand, why are you attracting? It's like 13 years. Like, why you attract us to underage? Because you clearly said in one of the screenshots that you've always wanted to be with someone younger, you're scared of being a sling operation or a copse. Right, right.

Like, what goes through your head? What makes this okay for you? Because this is disgusting. It's real, man. What goes on is loneliness, dude. I'll be completely honest with you, man. Wow. Ah, you're famous YouTubers can be lonely.

Who knew? Isn't that guy just fucking pile dry both of those assholes? He could easily take them. And that guy's standing there going, what the fuck is wrong with you? That kid weighs 82 pounds dripping wet. And he's going, what the fuck is wrong with you? This guy could have crushed him. Yeah, Vicerra could have just beat his ass.

It's Mabel. King fucking Mabel. Sorry, I brought it up. It all goes back to wrestling. Yeah, everybody drink. Wrestling reference. There it is. So, ladies and gentlemen, that is a eat that pussy 4-4-5.

If he gets arrested, I'll let you know. But as of right now, he's just. kind of out and running loose. All right. Well, let's, I'm no longer to enjoy his Eagle fan videos. But I'm still going to have to use this video all the time. Yo, what the fuck is cracking? It's your boy.

Eat that pussy foe, four, four, five. And you're listening to the creep off. Oh, this is not good. Creeps, buy creeps, and for you creeps. It makes me feel bad that we have that. When I was looking for drops for this show, I was on YouTube, and he had, these drops for he's like what the fuck is wrong with you what's wrong with you and I grabbed a bunch of them put him on the board and then I didn't use them very often so I take

them off yeah but it's just odd I would never have known who this guy was if I wasn't looking for drops worlds colliding world's colliding beautiful crunk daddy 68 thank you for uh thank you for that drop and uh sorry we're probably gonna retire it now so uh let's keep going shall we let's do it let's go to the border between Spain and France shall we okay okay Okay. Police made a grim discovery after a 66-year-old man suddenly turned around at a checkpoint between Spain and France. The driver was initially heading towards France on Thursday and arrived at the La Jard-Cierre border checkpoint. Upon seeing police, he turned around and drove 19 miles back to Spain. Whoops.

You ever done that? You ever, like, you have your, like, inspection, you know it's fucked. Did you see the checkpoint? And you turn around and they still bust you anyway? Yes. But it wasn't my inspection. it was my blood alcohol level understood it was the bong that was strapped into the passenger seat my feet shot shot out like fucking friend flitstones i just started running my car away it was like wacky races the car just literally turned her out so here's the thing though i'm sure you probably did it a little more conspicuously than this guy did because he saw this thing and he just pulls a U-turn yep and starts driving driving the wrong way for 19 miles on the highway.

There's a right and wrong way even in Spain. Yes. To drive on the street. So he eventually, after being chased by the cops, he eventually left the motorway, took a local road where he crashed into a town, where he crashed somewhere in a town. When the police approached the car. This fucking town was in the way, officer. What am I supposed to do?

God damn you, Springfield. So the police approached the car. he was found to have a dead body in the front passenger seat. Boy, okay. Now, the body had already started to decompose. It was covered with a blanket and was wearing a seatbelt. Investigators believe the deceased was an 88-year-old man who had been dead for about three weeks. All right, this is horrific because I don't want to be around an 88-year-old when they're alive.

Dude, they smell worse when they're alive. Yeah, dude. It must have smelled like Jessica Yanib's pussy in that fucking car. Dude, I almost said penis. I wanted to say penis. I was going to say there's not enough air conditioning to fucking keep that thing fresh. There's not enough little Fibrize fucking things you can put on your vents to keep that car from sticking. Well, if you put an air freshener on, then you get shot, so you don't want to do that.

Carl. Too soon? You don't even understand how bad this is. They say the driver may have been taking him to Switzerland, but totally. Poles and parking tickets found in the car suggest the driver may have chauffured his deceased partner to various locations before being discovered, including visits to Madrid, Del Panades, even Italy, despite travel restrictions during the pandemic. They're turning this hilarious story in a movie called 21 Days with Bertie. I'm telling you, holy shit. This is like the European vacation of Burd of Weekend of Burdys.

and apparently this was like this dude's lover and they loved each other very much and the guy died and he just decided I'm going to take him on this intercontinental voyage I guess yeah fucking wild and smelly the guy was 66 and the guy died was 88 yeah that doesn't sound like a couple to me I don't know I can I don't know it's like George de Kye and his husband are they that far apart probably I don't know I hope that's what happened to George Sikai, that creep. He is a creep. He is a creep. So he gave conflicting reasons as to why he was driving on the wrong side of the road. But at the moment... He panicked! Yeah.

The answer is he panicked. He's like, oh, I just didn't understand the signs. It had nothing to do with the dead body next to me. I was wondering why there were so many cars driving on the wrong side of the road. Officer, I'm glad you let me know that. If you get pulled over with the dead body in the car, like the officer goes, what's that smell? Aren't you going to be like weed? It's weed.

I swear to got it's weed. I've been smoking. I just have so much drugs. I just have so much drugs going on right now. I'm overdosing on weed right now, call it. I'm going to leave the car. I'll stop him up.

My wife and I think we're dead. We think we've died. Oh, I hate that. The overdose, Kyle. So should we go to Australia? Let's go to Australia. Okay, we're going all around the world today. Yeah, I noticed that a lot of these are international.

We don't usually do a lot of international. Yeah, and I need to send a special thank you to my man, Alex, who did just an amazing job. He's been sending. Gangrenously, you mean? gangrenously gangrenously Alex gangrenously

That's him I'm calling him Alex today Because I don't want to mess His name up I love him too much Yeah But he's been sending me stories And some of these

Are just fucking fantastic So here's to you kid Thank you again A new South Wales man Has been charged With attempted murder After he allegedly drove over a woman Quote

Repeatedly End quote How new is this man He's a new South Wales man Yeah that's a new place New South Wales Okay There used to be old South Wales

Wales, but it wasn't south enough. Fair enough. So that's what happened. So the incident took place north of Brisbane. Who would have thought New South Wales was north of Brisbane? Weird. Queens of police say the 27-year-old man was performing a burnout in the backyard of a home just after 11 p.m.

When he was confronted by a 47-year-old woman, who he knew from the neighborhood, telling him to keep it down and to knock it off. By the way, performing burnouts in a backyard is one of the coolest things that you can do. Yeah. It's like smashing a guitar or cuff. coming on the tits. It's one of the coolest things a man can do. Did you know that every time you do a burnout in a backyard,

an angel gets its wings? That's correct. It's true. It's a fact. Now, police allege, he didn't take too kindly to being told not to do his burnouts. He's like, do you know how fucking cool I'm being here later? I know.

You should be lapping this up. What's your problem? You know how fucking cool I am right now and you're ruining this? So, police allege he drove over her repeatedly causing significant entries. It will be further alleged She drove over property as well Before ramming another car Another woman next to the house

New the pair Used another car To reverse into the man's white Nissan patrol car I guess that's the car They have in Australia So this other lady didn't want him To escape for running over the other car

So she used her car To be a snitch To be a fucking tattletail She pinned him in Of one of my favorite bumper stickers if you don't want to get hit, stay out of the backyard. It's not your backyard. I could do burnouts in my backyard.

I think it actually was the person's backyard. I don't think it was this guy's backyard. No, well, she probably had a comment. The man escaped on foot after this other car backed into him. Police arrested him nearby short time later, and the man has been charged with one count of attempted murder. Why? Because he ran into someone multiple times. the woman was obviously getting in his way

that's an insane chart I don't like this new South Wales place all their new make-em-up rules very conservative laws over there you can't even run into people in their backyard yeah fucking people yeah but did you see my donut

did you see it do you see that perfect circle in the backyard fucking crushing it well you don't see a perfect circle because that lady's body right in the middle of it she fucked it all up she fucked up my circle and that's what you get oh boy you do your gardening your way

I'll do mine officer this bitch is fertilizer now we're gonna go to Santa Ana California now Carl how's that sound I love it this is a fun story you're not going to the order that you sent these two

I don't care I'm doing my own order you're gonna have fun with it so when you get out of prison Carl hopefully I will hopefully you do get caught and you end up in prison and you get out this summary general lawsuit might end up with some type of criminal charge

way on a side note because this is a scum stream. Yeah. I listened to your episode with Vince the lawyer. Did you? Yeah, you're fucked. Now, back to... That's what he thought too. Yeah, you are. You're fucked. He's right. You're duped. I told you. I'm totally testifying for John. Now,

set ahead at California, 20-year-old... What would you do? I'm sorry, to backtrack. Yeah. What would you do when you got out of prison? What would be the first thing you did after spending time in jail? Oh, the first thing that I would do is probably run back to my wife or girlfriend, embrace her, and say, I missed you so much, baby. Huh. Well, this guy thought, let's spend some nice time together.

This guy that we're about to talk about, uh, did about half of what you suggested. Okay. Yeah. All right. Uh, 20 year old Lysandro Diaz Salgado pled guilty to two misdemeanor counts. No. Oh, okay. Uh, two misdemeanor counts of contempt of court for disobeyed court orders.

He was sentenced to eight days in jail, but was, released on Monday, April 12th. He then disobeyed protective orders and kidnapped, carjacked, and raped his ex-girlfriend. According to the police report filed that Friday, the police responded to reports of an alleged kidnapping on the morning of April 13th the day this motherfucker gets out. A witness told officers that a female was being forced into her vehicle and driven away several hours earlier. Where officers were on the scene, the victim showed up on foot. She had formed investigators at Selgada ran up behind her earlier. That morning, she was walking to her vehicle.

she was able to barricade herself into her car but this motherfucker was so determined he jumped on the hood started beating the windshield until it broke Not an easy thing to do by the way It is not easy to smash a windshield The victim according to police Exited the vehicle tried to run away for safety

But he still got a hold of her by the hair Pulled her into the vehicle I want to say Betty hold on If you want to get a girl in the mood Pulling the hair Is a tactic that could work You want to get a girl in the mood Pull her hair a little bit

Smashing the windshield, that will dry up the vagina. That is not a good technique. Pulling the hair could work. You are a creep. No shit. Now, uh... Oh, my God. No shit, Sherlock!

No shit! He pulled her into the vehicle and fled. He drove the car with a shattered windshield to the back of a commercial complex where he sexually assaulted the victim. He later released her. Police were unable to locate. so gotto until april 14th when they spot the vehicle with the broken wood shield parked on an unoccupied street in anaheim detectives found and arrested him after he was observed riding a bicycle so they figured out where he was in that area and then they found him just out of patrol he was just getting

some exercise then yeah and uh you're ready for these charges this is fun rape sexual penetration with a foreign object kidnapping carjacking domestic battery criminal threats and plenty more Was it the gear shift? Because they don't say what it is, but I was thinking at my head what it might have been. I think it might have been the gear shift. You've seen those videos. Who knows what he had with him? You've seen those videos, Vinny.

The car, people fucking the cars? Yeah. Yeah, who hasn't? How would I be the host of the creepoff if I've never seen the video of a woman fucking a car? Hey, Jamie, can we Google that real quick? We pull up a video of a girl fucking a gear shift. Who the fuck is Jamie? It's Joe Rogan's an assistant who does all the Googling for them.

That's a good joke. Thanks. Some people actually know what the Joe Rogan show. That's why I referenced it. Peter Jeffries in the YouTube chat said this is the best dating advice he's ever heard. There you go. Buy creeps, four creeps. It really does ring true.

Yeah. And CNR was unironically good. I agree. Here we go. Hold on. Before you move on, this gentleman is now on probation. Yeah. And I think he probably...

I think that's for the best. I think he will learn his lesson. I think that he's going to figure out he's living his life the wrong ways. Well, just a little accountability. And I'm sure that the parole officer is really going to handle it well and really help this young man get on the right track. Vinny, are we having more fun than usual? Should we stop doing our show at noon on Mondays? Is it more fun to do it in the evening time?

No, I like getting that shit over with. Okay. So, uh, hoof. And Vinny's like, dude, you know how many fucking meals I have to eat out of Monday? I got to get this shit over with and get to my board. to work. Carl, I got to tell you, man. I'm just looking at these stories we have left. Oh, we haven't

even started. Oh, yes, we have. A woman admitted Friday that she planned and participated in the sexual assault of a toddler, along with a man in Long Branch, I believe this is California. Authorities say Olga Diaz 34 pled guilty to two counts

of first degree aggravated sexual assault and endangering the welfare of a child by causing or permitting a child to be portrayed in a sexually suggestive manner in filming it. According to her release from the Monmouth County Prosecutor's Office, while pleading guilty,

Diaz admitted that she and a guy named Jamie Marico, I'm not sure if this is Joe Rogan's guy. That's not that, Jamie. It's not that, Jamie. Probably not. His name's Jamie Monaco Leon, so we'll just call him Jamie Leon, plan the sexual assault of the child via

text messages, and that she took nude pictures of the child on June 15th, the office said. She said she also made a video of herself sexually assaulting the toddler and sent the pictures to Leon. Leon then traveled the Long Branch where he and Diaz sexually assaulted the child together and were seen by a

passerby who saw the axe happening through a window. Oh boy. Okay, here we go. So this is where everyone's got to be a tattletale. Everyone's up and everybody else's fucking business. At least she didn't ram a car into them. If there's a window open and you can see some kid getting raped by adults, either enjoy the show

or hit the bricks. All right. I don't like this. Everyone's got to get involved. Oh, that guy's handling a child. Oh, I saw a cop killing innocent black men. Mind your own goddamn business. Disgusting Vomit-inducing thing. Mind your P's and Q's. Let people live their lives. It's wrong. Oh, Jesus.

Now. Oh, but he gives me nothing. I love it. Just nothing. I mean, could you just imagine walking your dog? You got the little baggie. You pick up the poo and then you look up.

And then there's just a kid being double-teamed by two doughy adults. I can't imagine that. I have a cat. And the cat shits in the box in the basement. So you never have these problems. So I don't have problems like this. Your problem is people are always looking at your windows. That's correct. I got to fucking run the shades. So the text message images and videos of the pair shared were also recovered by police. The child was known to Diaz, but their exact relationship was not disclosed in the release. this woman faces 35 years in New Jersey State Prison, which I assume is probably the smelliest of prisons.

Like, like... And this guy, Leon was sentenced on all... Jessica Yadam's penis, it probably smells like... Get it? And it's... It smells like Jessica Yonis prostate. That's good. Yeah, so this guy, Leon, was sentenced to 25 years in state prison, so there you go.

they fucking drugged a kid. She gave the kid Nyquil to knock the kid out for them to do this to it. I have to say whether you're watching baseball or raping a sleeping child is always easier to deal with than one who's awake.

So I get that part of it. Well, my stance on the whole situation. I denounce it. Thank you. So, Vinny, there's two important elements they always leave out of stories like this if you'll notice. Because I've been reading, I'm not into this

true crime stuff, but you've gotten me into it. Now I'm reading all these articles. What's missing? I'm noticing a past. They always leave out the name of the child. Of course they do. And whether she's hot or not. They never tell you these details.

They never lead with it? I think that's an important thing, right? Chick who would have been a tad, molested. Little Stacy Armstrong, an objective six and a half, was abducted from a playground the other day. Not the toddler I would have fucked, but I, who might have judged? She would make a gentleman very happy someday. This is behind a pay while, right? can we get kicked off of Patreon we can't right yeah probably is anyone watching this

yeah we have way too many people watching no front patreon that's what i'm wondering at all well yeah hope not yeah so uh all right yeah oh you know what vini before we do the next story yeah yeah i got to grab another beer i was not prepared for this you know what buddy you know what i'm gonna do for you gonna grab one i'm gonna grab one for you i'm gonna bring it to you that'd be amazing all right while vini's doing that i'm gonna play i'll be your little i'll be your little go for car i'll play a little music for everybody while you're doing that y'all hungry this is a season i know you're hungry thank you sir welcome to grandma's house please have a seat could you just uh stop your

alcoholism from affecting the flow of the show in the future. Would you mind? Maybe you could just stop being a sloppy drunk. You'll never make it on the Stephanie Miller show, you ask you. What I'll do? Oh, watch what you say there. What I'll do instead, Vinny, is I'll just have more alcohol next to me and I won't leave it in the

fridge next to you next time. What a good idea. Yeah. So I'm not going to stop my alcoholism, though, just for this stupid show. All right. Well, I dare you. Hey, everybody, listen. Here's a fun example of shit I didn't know existed, but now I wish I didn't. Okay. That's a 43-year-old Gold Coast Australian man was arrested in a raid on his Southport home by Australian federal police after a report from the National Center for Missing Exploited Children in the U.S.

That someone was uploading child exploitation material using a Google account in that area. Detectives raided this guy's house. Now, the reason I didn't do this story is because they didn't give the guy's name. I usually like to do the scum parade stories with the names and everything like that. What does international stories never tell you the name of the people? Even though he's 43 years old. Detectives found two mobile phones, two external hard drives allegedly containing child abuse materials, no Zoom players this time. And then a child like sex doll.

So first of off, the whole point of having two mobile phones is one of them you keep that shit off of that, you keep it clean. It's kind of like when Jim Norton used to say he has a good boy phone and a naughty boy phone. Got a good boy phone and a naughty boy phone. A good boy phone. So you want to keep your good boy phone. fucking asshole is just like, I got to make both of these my naughty boy phones. There's just not enough hard drive space in the world. I got a good

boy zoo and a naughty boy zoo right. So the thing about this is these child like sex dolls that's fucked man. It's like a real doll but a kid. Hold on a second. In this article, they're actually like, that's a crime.

To have a child's... That's a honey pot. They should be giving these things out for fucking free. Are you kidding me? Or better yet, trade in your hard drive to get a child sex doll. Where's your hot take Homer Simpson clip? Boom! Hot take! There it is. Honestly, doesn't this make a lot of sense

to you? Why would you ban? There's no victims in this. Well, let me tell you what the Superintendent Child Protection Operations Paula Hudson warned, these dolls are not harmless, Carl. They reinforce or represent the sexual abuse of children, and their use creates the want for more sex with kids. Let's face it, Benny. It doesn't, like, stop them.

It makes them want more. Let's face it, though, Benny. As that Home Inspector in Michigan showed us, any doll could be a child sex doll. Solid point. Could be an Elmo. It could be... Hold on.

Hold on. God damn it. Hold on. Do you have that? I did have it, and I fucked it up, but I'm getting it. See, guys, we don't prep this. This is all just us fucking up. Yeah, we're having a good time tonight.

Don't ruin it. Splat! So, yeah. Think twice next time you see a grown man in American Girl Dolls stall. The American Girl Doll stores. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Those, that's so fucked up to me that these people do this.

Are you going to read any more of that article? Okay. The man is in charge with, uh, possessing child. abuse material, using a carriage service to access child pornography, making child exploitation material, possessing the child like sex doll and beastialities

in there too. Yeah, that's what I wanted to point out. What kind of a footnote is that? They bury BCLity. He's like this guy was fucking a doll. Oh, and a cat. Anyway, so there's this doll. The doll looks like a child. It's not a child. It's a doll. But he was fucking it.

And he also came all over fluffy. But there's this doll, though. This is the real problem. Here's this doll. You know what though? How many girls like fuck their pillows when they're little all of them yeah that's what their thing is that's what that's what that's what i hear the girl all of them even ask ask the two people i know vick and casey they'll tell you i hear that the girls use their their vaginas and they rub them on the pillows i wouldn't know i i don't know what a vagina looks like yeah or how it works it's just dr steve's gonna come out this weekend to explain to me how vaginas works i'll be nice about that yeah hey uh

By the way, speaking of cameos, I just see bought me two cameos this week. What? One from Bobo from the Howard Stern show. No. That goes on forever. And the other one was from the real high pitch, Eric. I have the real high pitch Eric saying,

who are these podcasts? Where is it? Where are my cameos? Yeah. Oh, I could pull it up if you gave me a second. Please do. I want to hear this right now. I wasn't prepared to play it on the show.

I was going to play it on the important show where are these podcasts. But now the truth. you've called me out on. He's a piece of garbage. You're more important show. Is that what you just said to me? I think so. Yeah.

I think that's why I just said. Let's see. Dr. Steve. All right. How about this? Hey, call Casey's. What t-shirt got me hot?

WATP and WATP. WACA. Waka. That's pretty good. It's fucking great. That's pretty good. Thanks, Dr. Steve. I like Dr. What a good egg.

Yeah, he is a good egg. I'm looking forward to talking to him this weekend. Hey, Carl, let's ask our friend Colin Delaney where our next creep is from. Hey, Colin, where is our next creep from? Local boy. All right. Local boy. That's it.

Local boy. That is it. All right. Carl, we had a very naughty man locally. We did. We did. Big news here in Rochester. Woo, doggie.

A suspended Hilton Elementary School Principal is now facing accusations that he molested 11 boys at the school. According to the Monroe County District Attorney's Office, Kirk Ashton, 51, who's been principal of Northwood Elementary School since 2004, was indicted last week by a grand jury. He's now charged with seven counts of second-degree count of sexual conduct against a child, seven counts of first-degree sexual abuse, each felonies, 11 counts of endangering the welfare of a child. So the 11 victims are known to the investigators now. They were all students between the ages of 9 and 12. And it all allegedly happened during school hours between September 1st, 2019 and March 26th, 2021. Between 9 and 12, so he's got a type. I know boy you might like, he's 10. I brought you a Power Ranger. All that abuse took place during school.

hours. Was anyone more pissed about lockdowns than this guy? He's like, remote learning. Fuck that noise. I'm not doing that shit. And honestly, God, when you put that into account, right? Yeah. These all happen between September 1st and March 20, September 1st, 2019 and 2020. And he's been there since 2004. Yeah. There might be more than nine. I would say it's 11 at this point. It's 11 already. Okay. Yeah. So the grand jury indicted him and he is in a lot of fucking trouble. I like the way the news reported on this As if there's no fucking way in hell he's innocent It's just like

Open and close case This guy is a fucking child bluster done deal I mean he really kind of is I'm sure I'm sure he is So when this first happened I was listening to the radio And they were like Humble brag

I still have a radio What am I fucking bore at Now they said that they This guy got like caught in the act apparently By someone in the office and I'm sure we're going to get more of the story out. I can't wait because fucking children. Imagine getting laid in elementary school.

You've got to be the most popular kid in all of Hilton, New York. Getting laid in elementary school. All the hall passes you could want. This kid can mouth off to anybody. They'd be like, go to the principal's office. I will. Oh, yeah. And you know what I'm going to do there?

Finish. I'm going to, oh, oh, you don't want me to mouth off to you? You want me to go to the principal's office? Great. I'm just going to come everywhere. I can't. I don't know. I can't.

God damn it. This is literally down the road from where my parents live. It's what we call close to home. Please tell me. This was your elementary school as a child. It's very close. I grew up in Spencerport, which is very close to that. Where Bob Kelly was arrested, by the way, Robert Kelly.

I thought you were going to tell me that you didn't get to go to elementary school. because of your club feet that they had to homeschool you. I was in the club feet. No, Carl. No, Carl. Are you ready for our last piece of stuff today? You got to talk about this guy's attorney. So Bob King, his attorney,

okay. Came out and said, do you have the quote there? No. Okay. I paraphrased it. Come on. What are the chances?

What are the chances that he was dittling all these kids during school? What are the chances? Are you telling me this? guy's dick fell at all these kids' mouths. I'm like, this guy's probably not the world's best attorney would be my guess, this Bob King. The fucking statement in that article is

hysterical. Zeni Senai wants to know, are we sure Carl hasn't already watched cuties three times? Oh, God. Oh, man. Not consecutively. Are you, are you, come on, what are the odds that he, all 11 of him? He goes, this is very peculiar case.

It's very very. rare that something like this would happen. It's like, yeah, it's fucking nuts. It's terrible. Yeah, none of us are happy that it happened. It's not like we won on a scratcher, sir. I know, I know, right. He's answered like it's a quick draw card. You can't believe you got. No, no, these children were all mollus in and it's terrifying as you fucking, I don't think it's going to go well. This is your elementary school, isn't it? I don't think this is going to go well for this principal. I don't think so either. So, shall we talk about my favorite story of the week, Carl.

Is this the last story? This is the last story. Okay, yeah, let's talk about it. Okay, so check this out, right? Zimbabwe. We have a new, ladies and gentlemen, a new contestant for Best Baby Thrower. Oh, yes, good. Yep, yep, yep, yep.

In an incident that shocked villagers, a teenage mother from a village in the shivvy district allegedly threw her two-year-old baby into the crocodile infested Tugwee River following a dispute with her brother. over her alleged promiscuous behavior. All right. I'm going to point something out right away because the headline of this article was crocodile infested river.

Yes. Now, when you throw a two-year-old into a river, it does not matter if there are crocodiles or not. The two-year-old will die. It does not. This whole thing was like, and there were crocodiles. Like, it's a two-year-old.

They paint the picture like we're watching, we're going to the crocodile hunter's zoo in Australia. We're watching the show where they're dangling chicken in front of the face. Yeah, they're all just like fucking chomping down and they're all having a field day. That's not the case at all on this. Yeah, when you throw your child into an African river.

Yes, it's done. It's over. From many different things. The water, number one, how about piranhas? How about all sorts of stuff in that water? I have an announcement for all of our listeners on Patreon who live in Zimbabwe in this village. Don't.

You can stop looking. There's like a search part. going on. They're trying to find this two-year-old. Like, it's going to have this amazing heroic story how it survived in a river for six days. The two-year-old is dead. It's fine. Moving on. So, here's the story.

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. I'm getting way out of my stuff. No, no, no, no, no, no. These things needed to be said, Carl. Okay. This baby was thrown in this river by her mother because the brother, the mother is 17 years old. The brother is 16. Okay.

The 16-year-old brother watched The sister, go get water from the town and talk to a boy. Not the father of her two-year-old. But she was talking to a boy. And he started yelling at her about that. Yeah. Listen, and this is no joke. This is what the article in essence says.

I'm going to paraphrase. He's like, listen, don't be a whore. You already have a baby at home. We don't need another mouth to feed. Fuck you. And she goes, oh, I'll show you. And she went and took the baby to the river, which was not close. It was like two kilometers from their house.

realize that. It was not close. It wasn't like she opened up a window and threw the baby out. Did she drive the baby there in her Tesla or how did she get to the river? She walked with that baby. I imagine under her arm like just a bag of flower. Just like I'll show him just marching and then

into the river. I got to say if you want to become more attractive as a teenager getting rid of your two year old is a great way to do that. If she's trying to pick up this other guy, you get way hotter when you no longer have a two year old. That's a big.

go so uh carl you're a bad person today sometimes i really you really showed everybody what a piece of shit you are tonight i want you to know that it's patron baby okay so what we have learned if this ends up in court if they're like trying to like character assassin me in court and stuttering john pays the five bucks to be a vietnam believer or mark p or any of these fucking people i'm gonna be really pissed off. I know. I know. So what we're going to do, ladies and gentlemen, is this episode will be posted as a bonus audio episode in your Patreon, in your Patreon RSS feed. So keep an eye out for that in the next day or so, because we'll give this a little bit of an edit on account of I'm a mush mouth this evening. Oh, stop it. You were perfect. Oh, Carl, my buddy. You only said that

because I brought you a beer. You're a professional podcaster now, Vinny. It's so feels so good. Yes. Thanks for taking me along for the ride. To my man, Alex, thank you for everything. Gangrenously, thank you for everything. Folks, we're going to be back in a couple of weeks with another scum stream. But we're going to have our bonus Hall of Fame episode right now. It looks like Jessica Yanov and her penis and her prostate might be heavily featured in the next Hall of Faith episode. And Kaya might be showing up for that.

Yay, Kaya! Here's Hope it. And that was tonight's scum stream. It's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. Gagia. I want a skum stream with Carmelin Finney I need a skum stream with grieves tonight

I want a skum stream with carol and vina gotta have some pals and people who just ain't right I need a scum stream I want a scum stream I need a stone's dream. Keep us on for a second. I want to tell the story of that song real quick. We're still on right now.

Yeah, absolutely. So Vinnie, we were talking this morning, and Vinny says, all right, here's what I need. I need the Jingles Department to do this, this, and this. And I said, oh, let me, the Jingles Department hasn't gone to work yet. Let me see what we can do. So I very quickly came up with the idea of Hot Town. Wait, what is the name of that song?

Hot Stuff. Hot stuff. What a weird fucking song that is, too. I never really paid attention to the lyrics, and then I had to look it up. I'd get the karaoke version. And I made Jen from the Jingles Department record that song while her car was running. I hadn't even written the lyrics yet.

She's standing there. Her car was running. She's trying to go to work. And I'm like, no, just sing the third harmony on this. Please. I just got to hit the third harmony. And she's a sport. She went through with it.

But that was the most rushed jingle of all time. How about one more time for all the hard. All right. right now it's another back story I want a skum stream with Carole and Vinny I need a skum stream with grief tonight

I want a skum stream with Carl and Vinny gotta have some pals and people who just ain't right I need a skum stream I want a skum stream I need a scum stream

Splat!