The Creep Off - Episode 205: Tatonka

Episode Date: March 11, 2024

After a crazy weekend of Subreddit Surfing and Celebrating 500 episode of WATP, Vinnie slow things down with a hangover edition of the show featuring a new challenger for the results girl competition as well as a brand-new creep off song written and performed by Kristine Knowlton! Spoiler it sucksThe score is currently Vinnie 0 - Karl 1Check out today's stories: Wisconsin Man Legally Named "Deez-Nuts" Is Busted Following Domestic Fracas | The Smoking GunTwo Ohio women drove to bank with dead man's BODY in car to withdraw $900 from drive-thru before dropping corpse off at hospital | Daily Mail OnlineFlorida woman allegedly went on date with elderly man and had her ex hit him in the head, rob him | Truecrimedaily.comRoyal Caribbean cruise worker arrested on child porn charges admits to hiding under passengers' beds to capture videos of them coming out of shower | Daily Mail OnlineWoman sentenced to life imprisonment by Kerala court for killing her newborn baby (devdiscourse.com)NJ Man Throws Toddler While Walking On Dead Woman As Infant Sits In Feces: PA State Police | Adams Daily VoiceSleeping homeless man killed with ax in Seattle (kptv.com)Semen found on diaper: Pretoria man convicted of raping his 11-month-old daughter (iol.co.za)

Are you ready? I am, buddy. Cool. What a fun weekend. Yeah, it was a blast. That's all. We'll start the show now. Attention parents.

What you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to watch. Fuck way now if you ain't any of these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation. Horror, shock. I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive and I'm not backing down.

Cuckoo, cuckoo. Guess where you just got into Cool guy zone. Disgusting A disgusting vomit-inducing thing Ola creepos Welcome to another episode of your favorite true crime podcast The show about creeps by creeps For all of you creeps out there

I'm your host, my name is Vinnie and joining me in the studio today. He looks thrilled to be here. It's hot cuckaca, Carl. What is happening, Vinnie Paulino. What a fun weekend I see you on the computer next to me here that you're rendering the video from the All Apologies podcast live. Yes, sir.

Subreddit surfing live on Saturday night. I've been watching everything back. It sounds good. It looks good. I don't think we're going to run into any problems. We're going to do a little bit of editing on the subreddit surfing episode because we're going to superimpose the videos on over the screen just because they're a little bit harder to see in the video.

So make sure you can see them all and it looks good. So expect that within 24 to 48 hours on this subreddit surfing Patreon. And all apologies will be releasing their stuff. So, yeah, we had a great weekend hanging out with everybody. Yesterday, you guys were hanging out at the Genesee Brew Pub. I ended up leaving. How wait you guys stay there, tell? Oh, maybe another, you know, three or four hours after we left.

Well, we all had something to talk about after you were gone. We were just like, Jesus Christ, waiting for me to leave. Did you see those teeth? Well, we had, well, skinny blind Mike. Skinny Blind Mike now. He's no longer skinny Chad Zubach. He was skinny Chad Zubach. He was skinny, Jack Zubach, now he's skinny Blind Mike.

Great story about him. Yep. That gentleman conspire a theory on Instagram. He's an artist. He's done some really cool stuff for us in the past. For sure. He showed up dressed like Blind Mike. Now, he had the cane, the beard, the hat, and he went into the club originally just

like himself and he went into a bathroom and changed okay and i we always look out for suspicious things like people doing weird stuff on the premises of the building like wearing a potato mask i warned everybody on that i warned everybody for that okay but market bolito comes in back into my office where we were all changing and getting ready for the show cardiff was back there and he's like hey vinny i'm keeping an eye out for some weird stuff and i got a guy out there and i got to tell you I think he's wearing a disguise. You think? He's got a fake beard on dark glasses.

I think he is, Mark. And he showed me the picture. And I go, oh, shit, I know who that is. He's pretending to be our buddy, blind Mike. It's all good. And then Cardiff looks at it and he goes, oh, we should send that to Mike. And I'm like, for why.

Why do we need to send the picture to Mike? I took a photo with him and I did text it to Blind Mike. I just said, tell your girlfriend to tell you what this is. I never heard bad from. I don't know if he's offended by that. I don't know what happened. Hopefully we're still on speaking terms. It was so great to hang out with some of the listeners.

I did a breakfast thing yesterday morning. That's right. I tweeted out. I said, come and join me. I had a handful of people come out. We had a great breakfast and talked about a lot about John, unfortunately. But, you know. It's fascinating subjects.

It is. Dave from Canada was hanging out. Love me some Dave. He's great. The great sea moose. The great sea moose came over to my studio on Saturday. We had dinner together. Then we came over to the live show.

And he was hanging out yesterday. he's from Utah Yeah And so he had to go to Palmyra Where Mormonism began Yeah he and I talked about that For quite a while at the bar last night It's funny

He's a he's an interesting guy So I just want to say this It was amazing to meet so many cool people Who listened to our stuff And wanted to come and hang out So your next opportunity to do that folks Yes Is coming up very soon

Less than two weeks March 22nd I was going to say Hackamania Largo Florida Get your tickets WATPLive.com because we really do have a blast when we do these live shows. The show itself was a lot of fun. Everyone enjoyed it. I didn't hear anything otherwise.

And also just hanging out and going out with everybody. It was a lot of fun. I'm telling you, if you're a fan of the Dabbleverse, come on out. Largo is going to be a blast. And if you like the creep off in particular, make sure if you're on the West Coast, you join us for Hackamania. That's coming up at the end of May. You get your tickets to hackamania. It's Vegas.

You don't have to be from the West Coast. Everyone wants to go to Vegas. Just get on a plane and go to Vegas for a weekend. And hang out with us, your creep off-bouse. Now, I believe we need to get down to some business. Okay. Last week, we had our wild card round. Correct.

You. It was a triple threat match. It was between Carl the Snarl Hamburger, Brian the Beer Johnson, and me. Can I point something out for Brian? The face of all of this. You pop this on him when he came on the show. You go, Brian, did you bring a story? And he goes, not really.

There's one thing I wanted to tell you guys about, but it's not really for this competition. You're like, okay, it's for the competition. Oh, I thought he said it was for the competition. I misheard him. No, he just brought like a scum parade story for us. Oh, well, he did better than me. I know that's what's funny about this. All right.

We've been doing this contest last two weeks. We were trying to find our new results girl. Yes. Now, we've had Danny, who is lovely. Charming. Danny was fantastic. And then last week we had Mahalia. Mahalia. Mahalia. I think it's Mahalia, but like, whatever.

She's great, too. There's a whole Reddit page or a whole Reddit thread going about how much people liked her energy. Okay. And today. Yeah, what was that other girl that we had? I can't remember her name. She was like a bank teller or something. That was a girl.

I don't even remember. But let's talk about this competition's getting fierce. Just kidding. Jess, we love you. Who is, uh, Who's coming on today to see if they can be our results girl? I'm going to tell you right now. She's coming to play to win.

Oh, here she comes. It's our next contested in the results girl competition. It is Megan. Hi, Megan. Hi. It's great to be here. It's great to have you here. Now, what I've learned about Megan is she's a big fan of true crime.

Okay. I am. I am very big and a true crime. How did you discover the creep off? Well, it all started. with the Dick Masterson show. I know you guys do some collaboration work with them. Yeah.

I do love true crime. And Vinny, I know that you said that you've had multiple girls where their boyfriends have introduced them into the Dabbleverse. Well, I too was introduced. He came home one day. He's like, oh, man, Megan, you know, you love true crime and you're going to love this. So he introduced me to creep off. he started listening to you guys

oh gosh Dick Masterson show I think he said 2016 and then he got into WATP and then he got into the creep off and then you know he's been listened to you guys before we even got together so he's been a huge fan

I'm sorry I didn't catch any of that she was explaining that some guy that you used to know is pretty cool and has a good taste of podcast oh yeah who cares about him he does yeah he loves you guys and I do too so that's how it all began we appreciate it it was very cool of you to uh throw your hat into the ring

for this now i noticed that you have a japan poster behind you trying to get the weeb vote is that the strategy here yeah well i'm also a gamer too so big fan of final fantasy and all that and you know what i actually work for a japanese company oh so you're not just wearing that i'm sorry they're chinese hopefully hopefully going to japanes pretty soon. I know with the pandemic, things kind of got screwy. But I was supposed to go twice in 2020, but that never happened. So. But I've always wanted to go to Japan, big fan. Ohio gozaimos. Can I ask where are you now? Where are you from? I am from Northern Kentucky, greater Cincinnati, Ohio area. Got it. I actually live in Kentucky and work in Ohio.

Got it. Okay. I'm that close. I'm called a border town. I'm sure you can probably hear my accent a little. A little bit, a little bit. So a little bit of that Kentucky. I used to go to Texas a lot back in the day because I worked in oil and they would always make fun of my accent. Oh, the Texans are you from? I'm like Kentucky. Do it.

Kentucky. Yeah, I can hear it. Oh, Southern on Southern cry right there. She's right, though. Texans are assholes when it comes to other people's accents. They think they speak normally. I live in Texas for. like almost two years and the time that I was down there was your name's viny and you're from

New York and they would just try to do the voice at me it's really annoying that's why I don't uh what do they call a code break what is it what is that so I don't do that yeah except for just yeah I they used to do it to me all the time so well you are lovely Megan and we appreciate you being here and of course you have a very important job to do this is your audition I do yes Yes, it is. So I need to know if you know the results from last week's wildcard round between Vinny, Brian Johnson, and myself. I do, and it's a mixed bag. You guys all kind of came close to one another.

Okay. So here are the results of last week's creep off the wild card edition. So with a whopping 42% of the vote, Carl is the winner. You hear that video You're distracted. Yeah. That I heard. Now, however,

coming in a hot second. Three Ws in a row. Brian Johnson at 34%. And Benny, I'm sorry. You only got 24% of the vote. It was close. It was so close.

It was very close. I was just more closer than everyone else. That means. Carl, you take the lead. Yeah, let's put the number on the board. Let's update the score here for this round. We're a new round of the creep off. I'm doing it.

Of course, the first person to get to five wins the round. So I have a one-nothing lead. And if you're new to the show, what happens is the other person who doesn't win has to spin the dreaded wheel of consequences, which you can see behind Vinny there. And I actually fulfilled a consequence just this past weekend. talking about later on in the show i have the video i have the video edited and ready to go at the end of today's show we're going to play carl's stand-up debut for all of you all right so make sure you

stick around after the end of the show for that and i will put it up later in the week on the creep off channel people are in the chat are noticing that you are in love viti not no with me oh no it's not me that's for sure oh no i don't know what anybody's talking about it's okay I have that effect on people. It's fine. I'd like her better if she just lied and said I won. Yeah, but fortunately, she knows how to do her job. She's doing it right.

She's doing it the right way. I have to say, all three of the review girls that we've auditioned so far have been perfect at getting the results. All three perfect. All fair and love and war, right? All spare and love and war. Well, I just had to spin the wheel last week, Magan. And I am going to be doing my consequence this Saturday, actually, folks. If all goes well, I believe it's scheduled.

I'm just got to confirm today. I have to do a murder and makeup video. And that Bailey Sarian girl does them. And she has a giant following on her channel. So I'm hoping that if I put on some makeup, more people will come and be less afraid of me. I don't know. I'm so annoyed. I picked my story, though.

Oh, you got a good story for it? I got a story about a guy who really didn't like kids very much and was kind of an asshole. You're not doing anyone about me, are you? Biddy, come on. Oh. Murder and makeup. I haven't killed anyone yet. Well, I definitely know you didn't kill.

I saw your stand up the other night. Oh. Come on. Hey. Whoa. What are we doing here? Too soon. What are we doing here?

You know what? Stick around for a second, Megan. We're going to review a couple of these here super chats. Chris Prymer, $5. dollars we got to figure out to put these to the top of the screen carl this is yeah i know this is this is a problem hold on this is a problem hold on actually can you jump up here we go problem solved uh i'll jump above the uh super chat chris priver five bucks thank you so much john is such a creepish opinions on women age restricted the most recent video on him doubtless his neighbors

are adhered with more screaming oh my gosh that's hilarious i posted a video where Missy B was responding to John calling her a sperm receptacle And I also got age restricted on it No shit Yeah, you have to be signed in an 18 plus to watch our review of Suttery John He's such a massages, douche Jesus, all right We got five bucks for my man, Gutt

I would ask you if you could find any normal girls besides Jess But I know the answer to that I voted Vinny, by the way. Thank you, Gutt. We found, gut, what are you talking about? We have found extraordinary girls Why would you want a normal girl We're going to have these amazing girls that we've had so far auditioning. Some guys just like McDonald's.

They don't like caviar car. That's true. That's true. All right. Travel the desert with ghosts. Thanks for five bucks. I once left a voice doll that accurately described Brandon from shitty song of the week. Having the same cadence as Corey Feldman.

You never played it. Was it over 45 seconds? That's the rule. That could have been that. But interesting. I'll have to listen for that. You know what? now that I'm thinking of both of those guys,

I see the resemblance, yes. Let's put her back down where she can't you blow her up to and make her larger on the screen? I mean, actually, there's a lot of things we can be doing here, Vinny, to improve our numbers.

God damn it, stream yard, you're ruining my show. Streamyard, what are you doing? Okay. It's not working. It's not working,

guys. Sorry, I'll be calm. Sorry, we're all good. So Megan, we're going to plug your Instagram for you today. It is at aesthetically underscore noir.

yes she might have to google that folks do you want to spell it for everybody actually i i i almost uh won the national competition for the spelling bee when i was in fifth grade so i probably that's so interesting that is so interesting no i'm intimidated i want to hear more about no it's i you know what's funny is that in my yearbook in the fifth grade i'm holding up the certificate but it's upside down and i I have like the worst look on my face and is forever plastered in my fifth grade yearbook. And she's funny too, Carl. She's funny too.

I forgot that you won the spelling B against other people from Kentucky. So we shouldn't be that impressed. I did. Yes. So not much competition, but. Just kidding. We love you, Kentucky. I voted mechanically, I voted for Vinny 12 times and Carl still won.

I think someone's cheating. That's not how that works. I do appreciate the support. but any duplicate votes we can see them now we track all we have a way to track all of it we do we do clean up the system so if you go if you guys look and see what the voting is that's not the actual number sometimes it kills me that you've actually beat me three weeks in a real fair and square i am not happy about it i love it can't even beat the wild card come on vanny uh-huh i'll do better me i'll do better you're a dick carl you got work harder for it come on you got work for me No, no, it's okay. Okay. Should I get out of here, guys? I would love that.

I would like that. All right, Megan. Not so fast. At Aesthetically New R on Instagram. We are going to, I believe we are going to have one more candidate, unless we get some more applicants. If you want to apply the creeppaw pod at gmail.com, we have one more. We're going to schedule and I have her in, but I will tell you this right now. We've had some real great competition.

We sure have. So, Megan, thank you. Thanks, Megan. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. If you want to hang her out and watch the show, we might pop you back up a few times. I miss her.

She's still there. Oh, I miss her. I miss her. Oh, Vinny. Your wife doesn't watch the show, does she? Oh, she does. I'm going to be here a lot later. You're going to ruin.

You're going to ruin me. You're all going to ruin me. Carl, we're doing a special scum parade relaxed fit edition of the show today. We are. So what I think we're going to start with is you want to hit up some voicemails while we're, where we're younger? Do you want to do our- Let's do cop cam.

Sure. Let's start with cop cam. We've got a fun video for everyone today that Matt Montgomery sent in. Appreciate that. Thank you, Matt. This one is quite the dozy. Yeah, it's pretty fun. So let me just set it up real quick.

So we're in somewhere in Wisconsin. Officers were dispatched to a local gas station on reports of a female named Amanda who was refusing to leave the store after being caught stealing a vape the same gas station. So she's in this convenience store. She got busted by them stealing a vape the day before and just brazenly walks back in the next day, has no money but wants a lot of vape. She really likes the vape. Well, people, they call it an addiction with those. I believe it's an addiction. I believe she gets a little bit ornery, which she doesn't have her.

her vape. So we're going to pick up a little bit into this video where she decides to curse the police officers who are there to control her and control the situation. Why aren't the cops putting her in cuffs for shoplifting the day before? Don't they have like video cameras in those places? Well, I mean, it's very petty crime, which is a vape. So, okay, so it's a petty crime of a vape is where this is all starts. Everybody remember that as we go. Yes. Here we go. What's up? What's going on? Can I put my hand on you?

No. Sorry. Tatanka. Okay. Tantaka. Oh, no. Do you have the curse on Vinnie? Did she just yell Tantaka?

Yes, it missed the cap and hit Mitty. Oh, no. That's a great wrestling reference. Like five of you will get it. E, thanks for the 10 bucks. Jugs Megan sounds like a dopey, missy B. How dare you? I'm sure that that's meant to be a compliment.

I think it was. So you'll notice that there's this guy, Herb, who's there with her. I don't know if he's there with her. She claims that that's her husband. It's not. She claims that she's pregnant. I hope not. And she's up there trying to buy all this stuff.

She has no money. The guy's like, I'll buy it for her. So you saw that. How do you think you got in there? That's what I mean. There's no way. Unless a demon cursed her. that could be yeah so you saw the guy's like all right i'll buy your vape for you so he's trying

to help her out but she wants a lot more than just this vape so this this issue is going to escalate um because the curse did not stop the police officers as she was hoping it would uh so yelling the name of a uh w wf wrestler from the early 90s didn't stop the police it did not so don't try it okay um but this is where she starts throwing a little bit of a fit here officer Coco beware No, I need to because they run out to a bed Amanda

Okay, I'm going to be down Or, I'm going to be honest You're going to end up at the jail You're going to end up at the jail Okay, well, that's great, and I'll have a day off, I guess. Good. Right? I'll take care you.

I'm not going to. I'll protect you. That is my favorite comeback. I'm going to take you to jail. I'm going to take you to jail. I don't like that. Not so fun when I spit it back on you, is it? Everybody's not passing to go.

You know what? I liked about that was, did she just yell that it's the vapes are the only thing that will save her pregnancy? Well, calm her down, she says. But the only ones that are safe for her pregnancy. For whatever reason, this particular vape she has is, safe for her pregnancy i don't know i didn't look into the validity you don't need to because she's wrong yes i don't think there's a safe pregnancy vape all right well anyway baby's first vape so so she's started to throw a little bit of a fit because the guy's like i'm gonna buy you one vape she's like no

i need two vapes but then it turns out she needs a lot more stuff than that so the guy's buying her one just so she shuts the fuck up and he could buy whatever he needs to correct the police officers are talking a little bit they're like he thinks that they used to live together i don't know they were at a halfway house together or something they both have a screw loose i don't know it's out perfect when crazy meets crazy yep i'm getting all that that is coming home with me yesterday you didn't have any money so i'm guessing today you're not having any money for that stuff and he already paid for your babe so i mean he seems to be what do i got to say to make you get out of my life okay then leave i have the power

power. I have the power of Baraboo. I can sue Baraboo. Wow. There's a lawsuit coming down the pike. Yeah. Watch out, Baraboo. There's a lawsuit coming. She's a lot of fun. She was channeling like some fucking eternity of magic. She has the power. Yep. Yeah, fucking Shira over here. This is awesome. What's funny is that as the police officers explained to her, like, look, you didn't have any money yesterday. You don't have any money today. You're not going to get these products without money. She's just sitting there thinking about like, what am I going to say? What am I going to say? What am I going to say?

To be like, what do I got to say to get you out of my life? Like the police officer is just going to be like, please and thank you would be a good start. All right. Have a great day. We'll be on our way now. All right. So the police officers, again, they have the body cams now. They're so patient.

They're too patient. I can't stand how patient they are. It's so obnoxious. Let me tell you how this would used to go, right? when they used to not be the cameras everywhere, the police officer was just escorted to the door and then throw her on to the street. Yes.

Maybe hit her head on the door a little bit. Oh, sorry. Oh, up, what, and then. Yeah, that's how this used to work. Launcher. Right. We used to have law and order. All right.

So, yeah, this is unfortunately her last warning coming up next. Amanda, I'm going to warn you one last time. And then I'm... The Ottawa will sue you! Oh. Are you going to listen to him or not? My husband will sue the Barabu School District. Okay.

That has nothing to do with me, Amanda. You're right. I loved that exchange right there. The police doesn't try to make sense to this. She's like, I don't even work at this school. I'm a police officer. I don't know what's going on here. I liked it when she was yelling wrestling names better.

But this is a she's going to sue the school district. Yes. Because someone won't purchase her things. Her husband's going to do that for her. She's very upset. She's not what she's upset about. I actually didn't clip the next part that happens here. She starts yelling about her daughter and her mother and her sisters and how important all those people are to her.

None of it makes any sense. She might be crazy. There's a good possibility this woman is nuts. And that's why she's doing what she's doing. I'll take that bet over buying a lottery ticket today. Yes. So we've established that she's being unruly. and it might be time to maybe cooperate with the police.

Amanda. Does she dance in here? What is Amanda up to? I like her tattoo. Are you going to go home with him? I'm going to stay right here until I have everything from this door. Amanda. I am not going to tell you again.

I'm not thrilled. If you are not going to choose to leave, I'm gonna take you to jail for disorderly conduct. I'm not gonna continue with this. So he is trying to give you a ride. Try it. I dare you. Do you?

I dare. Is that what you want to happen? One of my husbands is here, and I will get back out and have this baby. That's what I'm gonna do. We don't like this, friend. Yeah, you scary us. Get. You scared, huh?

scared, huh? She's trying to intimidate this police officer. I don't think it's going to work. One of my husband's is here. One of my husband's is here. You take me to jail. I'll get out and have this baby. Like this sounds like, remember when Goldberg,

they finally gave him a microphone to talk to him. Yeah. Just like, oh, this guy can't improv at all. This is terrible. Like, this is like the worst wrestling smack ever. Oh, yeah? Well, guess what? I love my mother.

And my husband is here. And you know what? He might come out here. Okay. Whatever. all right so um let's see is she going to curse the police officers is she going to get away with it she used to be like mum m'm mum shiba ma'mum shiba raza ramon like i'm fucking stupid i can't wait here we go

don't make me say it jo man don't want to say it but i will curse you and beat your ashes I'm just we're done yeah okay you're under arrest we're just early conduct okay we're done I'm suing you relax don't let your hands off me I am never madman get your hands off me I don't don't help get a taser oh I will taser taser taser yeah you you I will tape You know, this is playing out very similar to other videos I've been watching lately where the person dares the police officer to arrest them. And then when the police officer says, all right, you're under arrest.

They freak the fuck out as if they're like, damn it, they called my bluff. That was all I had. I kind of for a second there was like, wow, she's going kind of quiet. I was waiting for it. For a second there, there was like a con before the shitstorm started. Yeah, she was trying to process what was going on. She's like, oh, shit. I'm really, I'm going to jail now.

This is not good. They're going to need two pairs of cuffs for her, though. Oh, God. Those wrists aren't going to... She's a big gal, and because she's a big gal, she believes the cuffs are out a little tight, and she does freak out a little bit here. My next clip.

Here we go. Oh, suddenly start right at the start. Herb's coming with us. Where are you? Oh, my head! Let's go. I'm... Right here.

You fucking bitch. The handcuffs are two days. Herb sent me up, and he's going to be. to jail. He's gone to jail. Oh, all these handcuffs are too tight. You, evil, bearable is evil. She's been watching delete laws. What is going out of here?

What happened here is she had a choice between the vape and what was behind door number two. Ah, damn it. And she took door number two, which is the back of a squad car, actually. Correct. So I don't know about you. I voted for the rent is too damn high guy many years ago. I also am going to vote for her with her new platform. The cuffs are too damn tight.

The cuffs are too damn tight. Yes. Vote for a man to everybody. All right, just a couple more clips here. Apparently, this is another fun thing that a lot of these people are doing. I'm noticing patterns. I don't know why these things are happening, but apparently everyone thinks they're going to sue the police. They think they can just resist arrest, force the police to cuff them and throw them in the car.

And then they're going to have a lawsuit on their hands. It's pretty amazing every video. Yep. Everyone. They can't help me. I can't help me. What? I'm divorced.

I'm not going to take her house. They just got a divorce. That poor baby. I'm okay. An Egyptian baby. Let's go. Don't touch me! I don't know!

Amanda! My husband! You need to have a seat. Amanda, sit down. No. Amanda. No! You're going to fuck you up.

No! Get your hands on me! I will sue you! I am a lawyer! I am a lawyer! So there's a lot of things going on there. She says she had an Egyptian baby. She did.

Okay. She has an Egyptian baby. This is a pretty crazy game of Scrategories. She's kind of going out of that. Yeah, it's all over the fucking play. She's just like, I have a baby. I'm on, I have an Egyptian baby. I'm on vacation.

I think her brain was just going through every excuse she's ever used for anything. Right. Yeah. My dog ain't my homework. Yeah, I think that the only real excuse here is mental illness can literally drive you crazy. Correct. That is what's going on. All right. Now, apparently, I have one more.

video here because she will not get into this police car oh did they try uh like a like a crowbar well that's what i would have done no they bring up to another police car oh and push her into that one don't they have the old-fashioned paddy wagon for these situations yeah right just chuck them in the back of it yeah well so um or you just get the horse cop and have her walk alongside it that's fun that's fun and then all the towns people say shame shame as they walk through town keep your clothes on Amanda. Please. Last clip,

turns out it's not a half Egyptian baby. It's a half Navajo. Oh. I guess they're more protected than Egyptians. Good. I am not Navajo! Let's go.

Have a seat. Amanda, hop in the car, please. I have a Navajo baby and me. Have a seat. Amanda, please get the car. I have a mixed baby. Amanda, hop in. Let's go.

Let's get in. No! Amanda. You need to get in the car. No! I'm just done it. He has my husband. Get in the car.

Get in the car. Have a seat and we won't have to do this. You just hurt me. Okay. And I have videotapes. Stand up. All on video. Let's go.

Oh, you fickers. Get in. Let's go. You are going to purgatory. You are on the purgatory list. I'll take purgatory right now. Amanda was charged. with resisting or obstructing as an ordinance and disorderly conduct.

She was found guilty of resisting or obstructing as an ordinance and find $330. Uh-oh. Never going to see that money. I know. Good job. The woman who can't afford her vape, you just find $330.30. You know, I really don't, I find it very distasteful. I'm just going to say this, to play the baby race card.

Yeah, I agree with you. It's very distasteful. Yes. It's not. I mean, how that's done. Could you imagine if you are the guy who knocked her up? And you're sitting there thinking, like, wow, I gave her some kind of orgasm. I can't believe.

And then you see this, you're like, oh, she just yells like this all day long ago. Well, never mind. What if the guy who did fuck her sees this video and he's like, I'm not Navajo? Yeah, I'm not Egyptian or Navajo. Oh, no. Half Scottish. What's the fuck she talking about? I'm Italian Irish.

What the hell is this? What's she talking about? She's getting a beat me either way. Yeah, she's a crazy person. Yeah. Jobs are tough. I believe that in California, I don't know, did Prop 1 pass where they're going to start putting crazy people in funny farms again?

God damn it. You know who defunded all those I found out? Reagan. Reagan. Yeah, but it was because of one. Now, this is going to sound really stupid. I'm probably way off base, but slavery. One floor over the cuckoo's nest came out in the 70s.

And all of a sudden, the media really started focusing on how the people were being treated in these facilities. And so there were all these exposés. And it showed all of the way that the crazy people were being treated. And so then there was a lot of pressure on Reagan and other politicians to get rid of the whole institutionalized mental health. And because of that, we now have tent cities everywhere. Well, what I have now learned, I'm getting some messages here, is that baby belonged to Chief. Oh, it was Chief's baby. Okay.

They met the asylum. And that he broke out to get to her, actually, is what I understand. Wow. It's a great movie. They don't make movies like that anymore. You know, I got one of the greatest gifts I've ever gotten. Somebody got me the original soundtrack of that on vinyl. Oh, okay.

Which is really weird, but it came with like a giant like movie poster and shit. I love that movie. Yeah, that's good. It's phenomenal. All right, kids. Hold on a second. Megan, what did you think of that video? Did you like it?

I loved it. She's psychotic. I agree. I agree. So, Carl. Carl, let's do some voicemails. I love how much fun you're having today, buddy. Oh, the problem.

Okay, where do we start? From last week, we got a ton of voicemails, but of course they are brought to us by our good friends of the city of Syracuse. The creep-off voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse. The Oscars were on last night. However, it was boycotted by many Syracuse residents. It will continue to be until the short film category finally recognizes our upskirt bus videos.

See you in Syracuse. That's pretty good. He sent me three this morning. I like that one. He sent me three this morning. That one made me laugh. But I'll tell you what, the one that was number two is everybody in Syracuse was rooting for poor things to win the Oscar because we assumed it was about us. That's good, too.

That's good, too. I'll give him a lot of credit today, McBride. In fact, Brian McBride will be introducing your stand-up clip at the end of the show today. That's correct. Yes, Brian was kind of hosting. Yeah. I sent him out there. with a prepared statement.

Kind of a disclaimer, if you will. So first voicemail comes in from our pal, Animal Kelly. Now, Animal, you've left us a lot of voicemails lately, and I love you, man. I think you're one of the greatest commenters, one of the funniest guys we got out there listening. But the 45 second rule, my man, you must abide. But today, I'm giving you a pass. He's sending his gift, so I guess he thinks that now he can get away with over 45 seconds. He gets one pass.

Okay. Here it is. Hey, Vinny, it's Animal Kelly. I got to say, man, I just got done the VATP episode, I let it still. And I got to say, I'm convinced. OJ. He's all right. OJ. Simpson's okay. He's funny, charismatic, got me one to look into football.

He makes him saying interesting. He's got a great attitude. Great dad. Just always say it positive. He is a sunny guy. He's beating the standards because he was able to deal with all kinds of controversy, and he never got canceled. Man was a man's got all this background and all this stuff going on and he could go back on national TV gives people hope and you know what if he did do it good fuck that bitch

what were we going to look forward to another famous celebrity L.A. woman talking about her proud and brave biracial children and how she's so diverse and some other horse shit that you just want to fucking vomiting your mouth about If anything, OJ, the juice saved us from having to deal with another useless Twitter account and just groaning about it. He saved us another headache. You know what? Thanks, Juse. You are a good guy. Am I a creep for that?

Let me know, Vinnie. A little bit. J.FK. Headchunk says, OJ is killing it. Listen, I think you're a little bit off on some of these thoughts you have here, Animal. Because OJ was canceled. The last national TV appearance he had was his court hearing. Yeah, but they covered that whole thing. There was a lot of coverage.

You get a lot of coverage. But he was no longer an analyst for CBS. He didn't make any more naked gun movies. He was pretty much drilled out of all of his professions after that. I'm going to go ahead and say this right now. And I'm going to say this is a lot of confidence. Yeah. And O.J. Simpson's jersey is the only Bill's jersey I would ever wear.

Yeah. That is a pretty cool jersey. I try to get the 49ers one, though, if I could. Sure. because all right all right that's enough out of you your team sucks I hate the pills so much

well hold out a second now OJ played on the bills in the 70s do you know what the Bills versus Dolphins record was throughout the 70s I believe it was the 80s Miami beat you guys 100% of the time it was the 70s 100% of the time

100% of the time a decade we owned your ass yes correct and now it's like the playoffs You're beating the shit. Okay. Here we go. This one is a comment about your creep from last week, Carl. 36 years for 182 child rapes that produce AIDS is a record in Australia.

All right, man. We're going to have to sentence you to a pretty harsh prison sentence. You've raped 182 times and given them all eight. So we've done the math, and it's. It sounds a bit harsh, but that's 72 days per rape. Normally, it's an overnight per rate, but you did give a maid. So we did the math, and when you get out, you're going to be 75 years old. Our records indicate that no old man that's a pedophile offends, so you should be good.

As long as you promise not to do it again, you'll be out in time for retirement. Good night, mate. that's hilarious right here uh gpx seven australia equals prisoner island yeah you're already in australia that's a good point you've been very naughty

i like that they're apologizing for the sentence this is gonna seem a little harsh is there a shittier island south of them that they could send this guy to yeah the uh south pole this guy killed that voicemail and he left a second i know i just left a fucking voicemail about it but i seriously cannot wrap my head around it 72 days

per rate I'll tell you what Australia needs to have that as like a billboard if they want pedophile tourists Australia

a great place to fuck a kid yeah seriously you you're gonna get all the money less than three you're gonna get three months basically

if you fuck a kid so fuck as many as you want you'll be at no time I love this guy I came here to eat shrimp and fuck kids Oh, I'm all right of shrimp

Fuck those guys Wow Never going to Australia Oh, Australia Come all the kids Stay for the kangaroos Oh God That's funny

That's funny Dude voicemail the year For me for that guy He made me laugh So hard this week Okay but here we go Why not Okay last voicemail about this

Because I'm only 17 minutes In the episode But what would the prison sentence Have been If he wasn't giving them a Because 72 days per rape of a child seems like he got off Scott fucking free. Like, would it have been seven days? Like, oh, all right, yeah, he had 180 rights, but nobody got age.

So how about six months and a steak dinner every night? What the fuck? Have a false test. Burn the place down. Burn, burn Australia down. Fuck them. They tried to. Remember?

It was just a few years ago. Like, there's tons of fires trying to burn that place down. harder yeah try good uh so some people have been noticing that during the end of our last episode we were doing the wheel of consequences we were a little light on consequences so people are suggesting so new ones and we're going to write them down this time here we go and this one's pretty fun hey i noticed you guys need a few consequence ideas really scraping the bottom of the barrels um there's an easy one living room baseball one season.

Is that a week? I just watched that segment. I literally cannot keep track of what the rules are. But that would be part of the challenge would be diagramming the rules, making it somewhat presentable, and then doing like a YouTube series of Carl or Vinny playing living room baseball. That's about it. Love you, hate you.

Fuck you. Bye. Okay. I'll do it, but you can't tell Settering John about it because he's going to make fun of me. All right. So as long as we keep it our secret here at the creepop, that can be one of the consequences. That's kind of a funny guy. What is Carl doing?

What kind of game is this? What is he retarded? Are you fucking with me right now? Are you fucking with me? That's not how you play baseball. Lady K. He is playing living room baseball. You dumb fuck.

oh that's pretty good that's a pretty good one not going to lie can we ask megan what her opinion is yeah i'd love to know what do you think of that one man that guy that guy had such an amazing uh good impersonation of an austrian accent i have friends who are from australia and some of them have like the gritty accent the gritty one you know but then there's the sydney one it was very light and almost lockboardish you know almost in a way but he does a really

good gritty outback accent so good for that guy is he from Australia no he's not he should go there and he should really give these guys he should he should be the person who

you know causes the punishment minnie can you and I chapter just one second yeah we'll be back in a second yeah she doesn't have friends in Australia I think she does. She said she does. I love these people.

Why are you calling Megan a liar? Or some shit that they're like, oh, look at these are all my friends in Australia. I follow them on TikTok. Megan would never lie to me. Megan would never lie to me, Carl. She doesn't have friends in Australia. Carl, she's an honest person, I can tell. She's full of shit.

You get to swing by and visit your friends on the way to Japan? Okay. Okay. Speaking of results, girls, here's some messages about our last two weeks. I got to say, the new results, girls, top-not, especially Miss Danny. Feel free to have all of them except for Jess on any time. I used to always get through the Jeff section, and now it's suddenly a lot more interesting. You're welcome. You know, Jess was a pioneer. This wouldn't even exist if it weren't for Jess. And so how quickly we all forget her, huh? She went where she's like greed boots on Everest.

She was just going to walk past. Yep. Correct. Like you showed us the way. Thanks. Bye. Oh, shit. Bye, Jess.

Okay. Here we go. Last voicemail of the week. All right. Sounds like you guys are scraping the bottom of the barrel for these consequences. So here's one that came to mind is the Opie challenge. You got to go to a homeless guy, bring him cake. But just step on the cake.

on video out of context post it as if you think it's really funny that's it thank you fucking bye that's fucking awesome that's fucking awesome i'm going to message opi and tell him that later that someone suggests we do this is a consequence you think it's a good idea what about this what if you hand a homeless guy a $20 bill but you light it on fire first can i hand a homeless guy like a $20 bill on a string ah he did the center read john jellin the old string string along. I want to let Megan respond to you calling her a liar. Megan, do you have anything you like to say to Carl?

She looks angry. She looks angry with me. I'm not angry. I understand. I'm a gamer. And I also work for a global company that also has Australian people. So that's how. I play League of Legends and Telegram exists and Discord exists. Yeah. Take that Carl.

Yeah. So I know in a couple, of people who have gained with in the past that's that's how I know and they would he actually send me some photos of kangaroos he's like I was like finding me a kangaroo and he actually did send you and I chat for a second sure sure the two of us we'll be right back hold on Carl these fucking people

think that they're friends because they play video games on the internet and they're on a discord server Jesus Christ what is happening what is happening what's happening to society right now buddy god damn it holy shit I have tons of friends We play video games

And we're on a Discord and telegram Oh no Thanks Megan We'll see you a little bit Just we'll see it a few Love you Fucking blow this for us dude Don't fucking blow this one

All right you're right My bad Hey do you have my favorite Scum parade jingle I sure do buddy I would love to hear that right now Because it's time to get into some scum The Scum Parade

These are my peeps The Scum parade There's nothing but creeps The Scum parade I'm Paralland in the show Is that your favorite one, Minnie? I like a couple of the other ones too Oh, okay.

Would you like this one? Because Vinny's a creep And Carl's a weirdo I'm not kidding around They're both a generous psychopaths We're no business in a civilized society And they're going to take you on a scum parade Since we're just fucking around

I got this one over here too That we never play You made it this far Through all of the voicemails The creep of this come and gone away Now it's time to a sin All right I like that one

But it goes on way too long Well I just wanted to hit to the scum parade part Which is right where you told me to turn it off I was going to say it I wanted to point out before it get the time passes here Yeah That as that voicematter was talking about how all the pedophiles should go to Australia for vacation because of the lay sentences, someone wrote that Vito Giswaldi.

Just booked a flight. Book to flight. Now Vito is here. Vito's in the chat now saying, ha ha, thanks, Harry. Indeed, Vito. That's great. Should I send Vito a link? If you want.

I don't. Bye, Vito. Good seeing you. Hi. Hope you're well. Let's hit one more Vito says let's go Next picks

Thanks for the 279 Canadian Vini is down bad for Titsmae Her name is Megan Is it mega Tits McGee sounds right It's Megan I just met her today So I forget

He says I mean Megan Yeah he got it Okay it is Megan okay Thank you Carl let's start off Our Scum parade in Wisconsin With a man who legally changed His first name to D's nuts

That's fucking awesome It is awesome. That's better than McLevin. His original name, by the way, was, hold on, Derek Kroll. That was what he was born under. And my favorite thing about this story is they did a little research into this. Because apparently the people at the newspaper or the news station looked and they saw D's Nuts arrested. And they looked up. His name was Derek Kroll.

And he changed his name to D's nuts spelled D-E-Z-N-U-T-Z. He spelled his joke neighbor. And it became Des Nuts. And everyone was like, why are you Des Nuts? He said, no, it's D's Nuts. Come on, guys. You know it's D's Nuts? Then six years later, he had to success.

He successfully petitioned to add an E to the first name, officially making a D's Nuts. And I saw a picture of the paperwork and he wrote on it. It was not spelled right as the reason for changing. This guy should have been famous way a lot before this domestic violence thing happened. Yeah. Maybe that should be a consequence that's legally changed your name to Dez Nuts. Yes, no, you have to change your name legally to a joke name, but spell it wrong.

I like that. That's a good idea. I will take suggestions in the chat. Yes. So he got in a little bit of trouble last Tuesday night. He's been arrested for battery and disorderly conduct, both misdemeanors, according to a criminal complaint, which excludes a Green Bay police department's officer's observation that these nuts appeared to be highly intoxicated. Police alleged that curl punched and shoved his daughter.

Punched his daughter in the face. And then she was being uppity. That got to a fight with her boyfriend. Oh, white knight over here. Oh, you're going to stick up for your girlfriend? It's his daughter. Oh, yeah. You're going to stick up for your girlfriend off.

I missed it. Kroll accused his daughter of failing to do small household chores and care for their puppies. So he punched her in the face. Dude, D's Nuss doesn't do chores, motherfuckers. I don't go around change my name to D's Nuts. These Nuts don't take the garbage out. At one point's Cobledge Crowe who is unencumbered by a shirt

So he's shirtless being a bit of a problem Pulled out a BB gun that resembled a pistol What a funny way to say that actually That's well written I agreed I liked this article Crow was booked into the Brown County Jail Which he was released Wednesday after posting a $1,000 bond

So I just wanted everybody to know Not a particularly heinous creep Apart from punching his daughter But a funny guy Yeah he changed his name His first name to D's Nuts with the hyphen in everything. His middle name is Lee. Yeah, D's Nuts Lee.

D's Nuts, Lee, Krall. You know, actually, now that you think about it, the middle name, you could have come over the funnier first name that could have, like, worked into the middle name. Like what? I don't know. Well, good adjective. Uh, right. Stupidly. Idiotically.

Idiotically. There you go. Keeping them. See how easy that was? It only took. me 17 seconds if I can figure it out. It was a long weekend, guys. It's a long weekend.

What did you think of that joke, Megan? Top knot. Hey, Megan still likes me. Thanks, Megan. I didn't care for that. You were supposed to say boo. You're supposed to boo him, Megan. Two Ohio women have been arrested, Carl,

for allegedly propping up an elderly man's body in a car and driving to a bank to withdraw money. We have another weekend at Bernie's scenario, folks. Lorraine Bell Farallo, she's 55, and Karen Cash Bomb 63. These two have been accused of driving the dead body of Douglas Lehman. He was 80 years old to a bank drive-thru window and withdrawing money from his account in Ashtabula, Ohio on much for it. So the guy dies. They still got to run their errands.

They're just doing it on the way to the hospital. What's the big deal? They just had a couple errors had to take some money out of his bank account. When you put it like that, maybe grab an ice cream code. but here's the problem though when they got to the medical facility which is exactly what they did they drove them to the hospital right after

they refused to identify themselves they basically threw the body out of the car in front of place at the curb and they sped away but they did talk to some people there they went and took out about $900 because apparently they used to take this guy they all lived together and they used to take

this guy to run errands so they knew that if they went to the bank with him propped up and waving or whatever they had the one lady was going Hi, everybody. Just waving his arm. Are you sure they can't take out more than $900? I'd really like them to close my account, please.

They left without providing any information at the hospital, like I said, they just left him. Well, think about this, though, Benny. Like, you're trying to paint these two as being creeps. No, I'm painting them as being stupid. Okay, or stupid. But think about this. They got a dead guy in their house. The dead guy's got some money in the bank, and they got to get the dead guy to the hospital.

What's the price of that lift drive? Let me tell you. I would think there'd be a premium on that. $900 sounds about right to have a dead person in your car driving all the way to the hospital. Yeah. What do you think the funeral home would have charged? Good point. It's not cheap.

Ambulance has been more expensive than that. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. See, this $900 is well spent by this guy. I just got some gas money. It was just some gas money. Yeah, thanks Biden. See this inflation?

I only put premium in my car. This is not these two's first brush with the law. They both have convictions for assault, possession of drug paraphernalia paraphernalia. Maybe I'm no one who's wrong then. Maybe these two are up to know good. The one of it was been convicted of receiving stolen property, all sorts of problems. So they're still investigating the cause of this guy's death. They don't know how he died or anything like that.

It found guilty both women could face up to a year in prison on each charge. So you know what just reminded me of? I got an email this morning from. Glenn Jay, who's done a lot of great art for me over the years. Oh, I remember Glenn. Yeah, he does some of his awesome paintings up in the, or pictures done up in the studio. Yeah.

He sent me one that's me and producer Chris with Suttering John in between us, and it's a weekend of Bertie's knockoff because it's not long for this world. It's going to be us like trying to keep them alive and making videos that we could then react to. I had a conversation with one of the people of breakfast the other day. What's his name? Shemiel Buckman on Twitter, I think. Okay. he came out great dude and uh we talked for a minute and he i don't want to get into all the things

but he made it the best point about john ever he was like that guy's brain one day is just going to turn off yeah and he this guy yes and it was actually three weeks ago that day came we saw the moment by the way on your show the other day when they explained what he saw kiadu say i talked to like a kindergarten you could see the part where his heart broke It's so fucking funny. I should have spliced in that Simpson's moment. Oh, my God. But he said to me, he goes, you know what?

You know what I think of John is? And I never heard anybody explain it like this. And I was like, wow, exactly right. It's like a lottery winner who just blew it all. Oh, you're right. Because you see that all the time. These guys who make these mega million jackpots. And then the news crew goes to their house 10 years later and they are destitute.

Because they don't know what to do with it. John got all these opportunities in Hollywood. He had no idea what to do with it. He squandered it all. It's kind of sad, actually. That's a good analogy, though. I like that. He is like a lottery winner.

Yes. I've said many times. It's like when Eric Cartman bought the amusement park. Yep. You know, he's had it all. No lines on the roller coaster as many times as you want to. Blue it all. Blew it all.

Lost it. Daytona Beach, Florida. You ever been to Daytona? I actually have been to the Daytona. It is kind of fun. It is. It's kind of fun, but it's sketchy as shit. Dude, you could just drive your car anywhere.

I just drove my car down the beach. There's like no rules there. It's so bizarre. It's almost like a border town in a video game. You kind of can do whatever you want to. I used to play, there was a club down there, and I used to go down there like twice a year. And that place, I didn't want to go out anywhere.

I didn't want to go to bars because people there were really fucking weird. Well, the thing about Florida, that people who haven't been there, they're from another country, you don't realize this. We always talk about, like, Florida, man, and Florida, this, part of that. Florida is actually, like, three different states. So the further south you go, the more north you are. And the further north you go, the more south you are.

So Daytona is closer to Alabama at the top. Yeah, so Daytona is very much Georgia. It's kind of got more of a Georgia sensibility to it. Certainly. Now, we're going to talk about a story in Daytona Beach. This is, this story is why I didn't want to go out. This stuff is just crazy. Okay.

Deputies recently arrested a 34-year-old woman and her 33-year-old ex-boyfriend, I guess they broke up in the police car on their way to jail, on suspicion of conspiring to rob and beat an elderly man last month. On Thursday, February 22nd, shortly before 5 a.m., a 73-year-old man was taken to the emergency room with several injuries on his body, which prompted the hospital staff to contact law enforcement. He told responding deputies he had been struck with the metal object numerous times that his wallet had been stolen in the plantation pines neighborhood.

But investigators learned that the victim allegedly met Chelsea Wright at a bar to talk about their romantic relationship. Oh, boy. See, this is one of those things where these suckers, they fall for the, it's too good to be true scenario. Child molesters do this all the time. This is just like this horny 12-year-old girl who's just like, yeah, my parents are out of town. Come over. Bring condoms. In what world is this actually going to be true?

It's a 70-year-old man with a very attractive 34-year-old girl. She's like, yeah, we got to get the fucking. He's like, oh, yeah. So while they're together at the bar, she reportedly asked the man to come on over to her house and he agreed and followed her in his car now honey here's where you fucked up

he would have given you his money this is where she fucked up this would be like starting an only fan's account and then everyone who sent it for your only fans you steal their credit card information and you use their credit cards like they're giving you the money take it you can take it how about this part of it don't take the victim to your house

yeah that's another good point Don't let him follow you in the car. Don't give him the address so he can put it into the GPS in case he loses yet. It's even dumber than that because she picks up her boyfriend drives him there too and he's the one who's going to assault him. So, yeah, it wasn't a great plan. During the drive, the sheriff's office had right pulled over

and picked up her ex-boyfriend who was standing on the side of the road just waiting for her and her mark to walk by. Right reportedly stopped her vehicle, dropped off marks the boy friend near a home. According to the sheriff's office, the victim then exited his vehicle, went up to Wright's car, and Marks allegedly reappeared and struck the elderly man in the head with a metal object. Got you, bitch! Hold on, I got that. I know I have that. I think you do. Actual audio from this incident. Oh, sure don't. Oh. Gotcha, bitch. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Investigators alleged Marx robbed the victim of his wall and fled the seat, with Wright as the victim lay injured and bleeding. So they both just got in her car and drove off. Correct. Yeah. The victim sustained injuries to his head torso in arms. Detective Sue began surveilling right. Deputies performed a traffic stop on her for an infraction and found narcotics. You know, Vinnie, you bring up a good point. I wasn't even thinking about this when I was reading this article. How easy is it to beat up and rob a 70-year-old man in Florida?

I would imagine there's opportunities all the time everywhere. In a barrel. Right. Yeah. So why would you actually meet up with someone who knows who you are, knows your address, and then pick that person. as the victim like find a stranger and do that yeah so you're right right reportedly lied to investigators who falsely claimed she picked up an elderly woman with Alzheimer's who attacked the

victim it wasn't my boyfriend it was an old lady he's old and dumb and he was all horny he doesn't remember you know those those people with Alzheimer's are always beating the shit out of old men and stealing their money she thought he had candy it was very sweet actually she did the poor thing she just gets confused it wasn't my boyfriend who fucks me way better than he ever could. Unbelievable. She's a problem. So she's in jail.

It's all being investigated. So she's in jail. Yep. Charge robbery with a weapon, aggravated battery of a victim over the age of 65. In addition to the drug and probation violation charges, she also faces counts of robbery with a weapon and aggravated battery. Kevin Vassar asked if the boyfriend was Chad Zumak.

I'm not sure, actually. He ran up behind the man and said, You're in Colby a country now! A Royal Caribbean cruise ship employee, Carl. This is sad to hear because I feel like everybody who works on a cruise ship is obviously not a creep. They're very well vetted. Correct. And Royal Caribbean is one of the better cruise lines, too.

It's not like carnival. They would never. I would expect some shenanigans on a carnival cruise. I would expect dysentery on a carnival cruise. A gentleman by the name of Arvid Joseph Mirosol. He's 34 worked as a cabin attendant on the Symphony of the Seas for. from December 2023 on. Now, he was arrested because apparently he was hiding cameras

in the bathroom of young girls in the cabins with the young kids. Yeah, he was in charge of going in and cleaning up the rooms and making the beds and he was planting some cameras. Yeah, so what he ended up doing was a girl found one of the cameras. They started investigating it. And, of course, they were able to find him. They found him inside of a cabin and the staff detained him. Now, when police seized his electronic devices, they found several videos of naked women on dressing in their bathrooms, child porn, and even a clip of Mirosol installing a camera.

Again, guys, delete File 1. Correct. Zero, zero, zero, zero. I know you got to test it and make sure it's recording at the right angle. But then you got to delete it after that. You boobs. I know you think you're never going to get caught. You're going to get caught.

Now, one question, he admitted to the investigators that he had installed the cameras when he started working on the ship in December. He said, I want to, I want to control it, but I can't. He had to do this, Carl. He was even hiding under beds. I'm getting there. He admitted he would choose young women over the age of 16 that he liked, that he would install the cameras in the bathrooms. He also said that on occasion he would hide under the bed and sit there and film them

coming out of the shower himself. Okay, a couple things here, buddy, because I want to point out that this guy sounded like a real creep and a weirdo. And then it wasn't until Paragraph 8 that they explain These girls are 16 or older And you're like, oh, okay, well now I get it Now it's making some sense to me

I thought you were doing that with like 9 year old or something But okay, now this is making a lot of sense Also, if you do have to find this guy's filming you Wouldn't you rather find the camera in the bathroom than this guy under your bed? One of them is a little bit more traumatizing Thank God for small miracles, Carl. Yeah, that's right.

Look at the bright side. Jesus Christ So she found the camera, stuck it to the bottom of the counter and called the ship's security. Marisol turned up at the room while the security guards were investigating, and they detained him until they returned to the ports. So he appeared in court on Monday charged with six counts of video voyeurism, production of child pornography, and possession of child pornography. So then the spokesperson person has to come out, fucking useless people, spokespeople. We reported it to law enforcement. We told them we tattled and terminated him.

We have zero tolerance for this unacceptable behavior. Wouldn't it be a lot funnier if they came out? They said, we had a frank conversation. He said he wasn't going to do it again. He's one of our better. He makes those animals out of the towels and puts them on the bat. He's one of the best at it. He was best in his training class.

Yeah. I think it would be funny if they came on and said, you know, we train our employees to hide these cameras better. I can't believe. We are deeply ashamed by Mr. Barrasol. The 17-year-old girl filed this camera. What kind of shoddy work is that? We got to hide these things better. We let him go.

Don't you worry. This is not. This is why I'm not a spokesperson for a company. I would not do well. This is some Cardival Cruz. Yeah, right. Listen, we got rid of this guy. We're not Carnival Cruz.

We're Royal Caribbean. This won't happen again. DeWired Christian fucking Greenhorn. Holy shit. If they like the Catholic Church, they just move them to another ship. There you go. That's how you fix it. All right.

Now, we're going to go. I don't know what country this is. It's India. Is it India? It is. A carola. We got a baby thrower, everybody. You want to hit the music carol?

Oh, shit. Is it baby throwing time? It's baby throwing time. It's a beautiful day out there on the field. Two heavyweights competing on Monday night football. Joe Montana. Stop and stop it because they're going to get us for this music. They always get us this music.

Oh, God. my bad my bad it's all right cordon this woman uh was in trouble she's 40 years old she's convicted of killing her newborn baby by throwing the infant into a rock quarry how's the baby doing all right no no didn't didn't make it through that no you don't you couldn't throw a grown up into a rock quarry expect them to be okay car okay good point yeah newborn babies they bounce but they dent easy you might be right although i were just reminded of one of the videos that we played during subreddit surfing on Saturday night.

Yeah. The slide video? Yeah. The mom brings her baby down to slide and just bounces the baby on every fucking part of it. One of those big slides that has a bunch of different...

Yeah, it's like a wavy slide. Yeah. And it's got the lanes so the kids could race down it. And she's holding her baby by the arm and the baby's just flopping everywhere. And I think she's holding the baby by the arm, but the baby's on its stomach.

Haven't you ever heard of SIDS to begin with, honey, don't put the baby on the stomach. That's funny stuff. Or, you know, give it CTE at, you know, six months old. Don't do that either. So, according to the prosecution, the woman gave birth when she was living separately from her husband. So after giving birth, she wrapped the baby in three shirts along with some stones, you know, just to make sure that he sticks to the bottom of the quarry.

And through the infant, it's in the quarry, the prosecution said. The woman was later found in a week stayed at her home and was rushed to the hospital by police and and the babies. Don't kick the baby. Kick the baby. According to the information received from the hospital, a case was registered with the police station and investigation was underway. The investigating officer registered the case and started a probe in the assumption that the woman had abandoned the child somewhere after giving birth. But the investigation revealed that it was a murder.

After giving birth, someone found the baby in the quarry. They're like, is this your baby lady? And she goes, well, mine didn't look as dented last time I saw it. How would I know? I've only seen that baby for a couple minutes. I don't know. Could you wrap it in a couple shirts, maybe sprinkle a couple of rocks on top? Maybe I'll be able to tell.

Put it in a lineup with other babies wrapped in shirts. They're like, hold on. We're going to try to super glue this back a little bit. We'll bring it back in the show. Is this one it? Yeah, bad story. Terrible things. Don't throw your babies in rock quarries.

What's crazy to me about this? This is in India. She's being sentenced to what? Lifetime in prison for that, it said? Yeah. Yeah. There's 1.4. billion people in India. You think this be like an appearance

ticket. Really? This is a big deal of them? Well, I'll tell you what. This is not going to do much for tourism in India. You know what? Australia business is booming right now, but India. Let's ask Megan. She wouldn't have friends in India. She might know this woman. Megan, do you have any friends in India? I used

to date an Indian guy. Oh, really? Did you guys? Yes, I did. And he was from Eastern Orissa, India. So, however, he never told me anything about throwing babies off rock quarries what is this sparta like come on yeah the kid wasn't going to cut it the kid wasn't going to cut it that would be my argument if i was a lawyer yeah exactly i have

a question for you don't don't be mad was he a doctor or did he own a convenience store actually he's a programmer okay all right all right i didn't realize there was a third thing they did all right my bad there's lots of things that they do there's lots yeah he got a master's degree programming. I dated him for a very short period of time. So, yeah. Cool. Yeah. But nothing crazy like that. But it's all over now, right? Yes. It's all over now. Catch it a little bit, Megan. Hi, Megan.

How did you work by that many? Well, I was, I was offended by you. How dare you? Your boss is boss. I know. I know what's going on. How dare you, sir? They could be dentists. didn't I say doctor you did good point thank you trooper brandon black arrived at a house owned by a guy named or a woman i'm sorry forgive me take two take two cut over do over okay uh there's a gentleman by the name of darrell kevin carter the police showed up at his house last week at about one 30 in the afternoon on a tuesday the new jersey native's home was so stuffed that the trooper who arrived

along with the EMS had to force entry into the residence. They had to break the doors to get in and force shit out of the way to be able to just walk into the place. I think I've actually seen this episode of Horters. Yeah. I love this one. Everybody normally gets in and out from the slide that they put from the second window.

Correct. Second story window. So this place is disgusting. And they found a dead body inside of the house. She was identified as a 38-year-old woman, Charlene Yvonne Felton. now the troopers observed deplorable living conditions and including kitchen pants filled with feces and urine piles of dirty diapers and urine soaked blankets while investigating felton's death carter stepped on top of the deceased female multiple times and also threw a young child across the room just while the cops are there he's like hold on let me get this in order He's just fucking stepping on her?

Let me clean up a little bit for you. It's not going to hurt her, Biddy. She's dead. Who cares to me? He steps on her a couple times. What's the difference? They didn't have to wear cleats. No, but it was fun.

Golf cleats, too. And the kids say, he's like, get out of it. He's just throwing stuff. There's a kid under a pile of shit. He just tosses them. This is an amazing episode. Best episode ever of hoarders, for sure. They found a three-year-old and a one-year-old boy living in the house.

The affidavit details that Carter was agitated because the trooper needed. because the trooper needed to clear the rest of the home for additional dead bodies. He's like, listen, dude, we're going to have to get some excavating tools. Yeah. We found one. How many more are in here?

How many dead bodies we're going to find? The guys are like, how the hell would I know? I haven't been in my living room in a decade. I haven't found my keys in 12 years. Okay. By the way, this guy fucking... I've needed to charge my cell phone since 2018. I've needed to charge my phone.

I have an iPhone 6. You see this? thing the fuck what i know um this guy hates chores there i've never seen someone who hates chores as much as this guy does uh you know what i do think he likes though i think he likes the old nose candy oh yeah because they said the only cleared out area they founded the house was the top of a dresser that had a white powder on top of it so you got to keep your coke area clean i think correct yeah you don't want to get anything up the old nostril you know you're just breathing in pants That could be bad for you.

Yeah, that would be bad. Yeah. So the infant's crib is also filed with piles of heavy wet urine-soaked blankets. Well, they gave him blankets. That's good. Finally, the kitchen had wrappers and spoiling food on the floor. Once the scene was cleared, Carter was taken into police custody and charged with the following the court record show. Felony endangering the welfare of a child by a parent or guardian.

Misdemeanor, simple assault. Misdemeanor abuse of a corpse. He's being held 50,000. dollar bail set by the judge his preliminary hearing is set for uh next week one of the things that says in this article because you know there's like urine everywhere yeah and feces they said they said none of the toilets in the house worked i'm like yeah they fucking better not if you're telling me there's working toilets this guy's just like yeah but it's all the way over there i'm just gonna shit in the kitchen what was your first clue that they weren't working yeah don't

officer how did you put piece this together just one more thing i don't think the toilets is work it the death investigation is also ongoing so who knows hey before we do our last story brian johnson we have two stories oh a couple more okay uh bry is in the chat with the super chat hi brian brian says can someone have john sent megan a ring light me let's bring megan on real quick to address this fucking brian all right megan how's your lighting there i have a ring light okay yeah good let's get a Let's get more ringlights for Megan. Yeah, let's get.

That's so funny. Yeah, I actually do have a ringlight. So it's just a little bit darker in this room, apparently. I have a new charity scam idea now. Oh. This is perfect. All right. I like it.

I will be raising money for beloved results girl. All right, Megan, thank you. Hi, Megan. We miss you. Miss you already. Love you more than a friend. What's it Tuki says? Yeah.

Okay, Seattle. A 25-year-old man, dude, is accused of killing a homeless man with an axe. That's not what you're supposed to do. Liam Harrison Trier. How are he supposed to kill homeless people in Seattle? What's your method? Some type of planned euthanasia, walk him into a booth or something. I don't know.

I'm not an axe. It's too messy. We want to clean up the streets. The place already smells like the fucking wharf. However, it rains a lot, so that shit will clean itself. Good point. He's 25 years old. bail is set at $5 million. Now, the victim identified as 52-year-old Darva Vuth Van was seen

sleeping outside of Town Hall in Seattle. This happened to Town Hall, everybody. This guy's sleeping on the street shortly after 2.27 a.m. A man wearing a striped knit cap and toting a backpack with a protruding long handle identified as Krieger, passes by Van multiple times over the course of the following hour, presumably scoping him out. According to the charging documents around 328, Crier has reportedly seen on video, slowly approaching van and looking around for people nearby. So he was doing like the Elber Fudd.

He had the axe over his shoulder. He's like, quiet. I'm hunting vaguance. According to court filings, the suspect is then showed on camera slamming a long-handled axe into van before running away. You know, it's one of those things where he's probably upset that there's video cover.

of this but someday he'll be happy that he has it yeah i mean it's embarrassing to watch yourself swing like a pussy right but one day you look back fondly like oh i remember being 25 and murdering homeless people with an axe yeah i remember i used to hate having my picture taken but then you go back and you look at him like wow better times right yeah yeah like oh look at there's my birthday party there's the time i murdered that homeless guy i imagine he's going to sit there like show show the pictures to people and stuff in prison and go i could hear a scream in my head right now it takes you right Take me right back there. Jesus Christ, Carl.

Do you think that we are insane? We might be insane people. It's definitely different than when we first started the show. I was definitely much more distraught about some of these stories. Are you say that I jaded you? Yes. For sure. Now, his picture was published by law enforcement and a family friend turned him in.

That is not a friend. That is, the guy he fucking turned him in, not a friend. Good point. About as much of a friend as Megan's Australian people, she knows. Not a friend. I'm sure that they're very close. You don't know the types of forms, the type of bonds people can form, Carl.

All right. I got my last story of the day, and it's a doozy. All right. Before we watch something that's more horrific. Can you produce the name of this place we're going to? I'm going to try really hard right now, okay? this is in uh this is south africa outside of pretoria okay trying to get the cliques in the right places too olin venhausch boshk yeah it does sound german doesn't it it does it does well here's the

story and this is from their uh paper so i'm going to read it to you but i'll trans i'll gussy it up a little bit because it's written like an idiot the national prosecuting authority said the father and the mother of the baby were in a love relationship So they liked each other They were living together What of those love relationships And on the evening of April 30th Of 20th of 2023

The couple was at their place of residence When a neighbor came in And asked the mother to come help her cook Hey can you help me out in the kitchen Next door for a couple minutes Sure, no problem I'll come over there Hey honey watch the baby

So the neighbor who asked for help Was hosting an overnight ceremony The child's mother then departed with the neighbor Leaving the baby under the guardianship of her father The following day in the early hours of the morning when the mother was still assisting the neighbor, she saw her partner on the streets. Oh, weren't you

on baby duty? And he told her that he had left the baby sleeping. Oh, okay. So everything was good. So she decided, you know what, he's out having a good time. I'm going to go check on my baby. Like a good mother would. So then she walked back into the house together. When the mother found the baby lying on her chest with her

back raised, now when the mother touched the child to change her diaper, the kid started crying. Yeah. Yeah. So as the mother changing the diaper she noticed that the baby's primary parts are a little swollen little puffy and then she noticed that there was a giant load dropped on the diaper

oh god dude not the baby kind dude you got to use a condom you could have gotten her pregnant what are you thinking with that yeah you want to have a baby with your own daughter dude yeah come on man in south africa gross what is this the 80s

trapped a load out his 11 month old daughter god damn it's pretty bad that's pretty bad what they so the mother is like I'm going to take this I think she says to the dad the baby's been raped honey

yeah could you come back in the house you were in charge of watching this kid just so you know you kind of failed at that we got to take this baby to the clinic yeah dad was like listen we got like a traditional healer who lives next door on the other side so the other people are having the party

let's go over to the healer's house and so the mom was like okay they take the baby over there and the healer starts saying well what happened here and he goes oh well you know I fucked it and the healer said yeah this is my pay raise

yeah I advise you to take this baby to a hospital or a clinic right now that's probably be I don't think there's anything I would be able to do but going blah blah blah and dancing around so when they returned home from the traditional healer the man threatened the mother with a knife in order her not to take the child to the clinic

is this will attract attention to from the community Yeah, you can't let everybody know that we're fucking. It's going to get her out town. Corrid. I don't want everyone to think she's a hussy. I want my daughter. I want people to think my daughter's a little more dignified than this. So the following day, a day later, the mother traveled to Limpopo, pretending to be visiting her other child.

But instead, she took her baby to the hospital. At the clinic, of course, the police got involved and the dad was arrested. In the court, the man pleaded guilty to all. all charges, he's like, did you sleep with this baby? You went, guilty. He gave the plea explanation, stated that the day he had inserted his thumb into the baby to remove soil particles, which were there as a result of playing outside.

It wasn't anything sexual. Let me just, let me just get that for her. I'll get that. Yeah. So apparently he was like bathing her while he was jerking on. I don't know what the, this is so fucked up. I hope that they throw this guy in a fucking quarry. Or just take his balls off.

Sure. Do they do that in that country? Probably. Make an exception. By the way, we have, you know, lots of Europeans in our audience. I was told that that name was Dutch, not German. There is no difference, but if you say so. Okay.

Thank you for correcting us. Well, there's a difference between the Dutch and the Germans. People love being corrected. Thank you. Did we hit all the superchance? You know what we didn't announce? We didn't announce it today is Super Chat Monday. It is Super Chat Monday.

We forgot to tell people about that. I'm so tired of being showered with gifts from our listeners. You know, it's so tiring. It's embarrassing. It is. We were showered with another gift that we have to play. Oh, yes. Holy shit.

How did I forget? Who sent this into us? I don't remember. I put the name on the file itself. Derek from Georgia? I think Derek from Georgia. Hold on. We'll get the file name itself.

I labeled it with his name on it so that I wouldn't forget. Sorry. No, it's right. I'm looking here. Brandon and Georgia. Brandon and Georgia reached out to Christine Nolton. What the fuck is wrong with you, Brandon? This is the third cameo I've received from listeners.

We appreciate it. Christine Nolton wanted to sing a song for Vinnie and me. And if you know anything about Christine Nolton, she A, is not talented, and B is very long-winded. She does not know how to create a pop song under two minutes. I fucking hate everything about this. I cannot stand her. And you know what pisses me off the most?

She's more smug than you. Panasonic, too, so that's an 85-day sentence in Australia. Did you fuck this 11-month-old baby? Yes, I did. I did. All right, you're going to the pokey for six months, pal. Yeah, all right. We won't see you for three months then, sir.

DeWiard Christian's got it right. She'll use his two chords and two pitches. Yes. And they're both wrong. And they're terrible. And they don't work. She improms these songs. All right.

Take it away, Chris. Christine. I stopped on a lovely still of her. So while they all are, look at this monster. God, I miss Megan. I miss Megan so much right now.

I mean, can we put Megan up over her when we listen to this? No, I don't want people associated Megan with this. Oh, she wouldn't get as many books. Carl, when you sent me this,

my response to you via email is, usually if I'm told someone wrote a song about me, I will listen to it out of curiosity. Sure. 35 seconds that I was like nope I have not watched the rest of this I couldn't get through it either but let's do it four fucking minutes and I'll apologize

in advance I'll tell you what though someone's superchance is a hundred bucks we'll stop it yeah if we could get a hundred dollars super chat we will stop this song here comes the torture hi this song goes out to Carl and Vinnie you run a very very scummy stream

in fact Brandon says you're the scummy as creeps imaginable You can find on the Internet. Whatever. It's really messed up stuff. It is. By the way, fuck you, Carl and Vinnie. Fuck you.

Oh, no. Carl and Vinny, they aren't so nice. Their stream should be canceled. And they both should be pulled on ice. Messing up stuff. She is a word smith. I'll give her that. There's been no.

What do you mean? None! I love this guy with guppy chainsaw. I can not, I already can't make eye contact with my TV. It's uncomfortable. I know. It's so bad. Hold on just one second of it.

Hi, Megan. Okay, there we go. Perfect. That's Carl. Carl's the thief. Not me. They should really get alive and leave people alone. Then the scummy is creeps over the internet.

Every one of their episodes is a regret. So, stop streaming. Stop streaming. You scummy creeps. Their carol envy living their lives in a circle jerk for two. They have no real talent. They need to steal from everyone else.

all of their own. Don't run, call me a all-run. Pretending to be like Daniel touch of touch point. Oh, oh no. They'll never be that good living their lives and a circle drag for two.

You are creeps, you are scum, you mess things up. Sorry your mom didn't have that abortion when they should have. This is so bad. Uh-oh, retort alert! Retort alert, clap! Share a fucking brainstormed.

What they dream, they should go straight to hill. The pig noise survived, sorry. I'm surprised that one hasn't punched you in your fucking face. Because you hide behind cameras, that's fucking why. Come see me. Some being ass, you both should just pipe down and get the ass. And I'm talking about Lizzie Borden's ass is what I'm talking about right there. No killing whatsoever.

You think you're both so clever. You're not. You're not You're not Everything you scream You steal No one likes you You're both just insane

All right We're three minutes To this car We still have a minute So we got our hundred dollars yet Minnie Imagine the irony of going You guys have no talent

No talent you're not good at stuff your parents should have had a portion and they did it and they should have because it was what they should have done fucking terrible you're bullshit you have messed something so bad

And the show has reached a new low This makes you so bad Oh you got that Even your listeners rather than pay me to write songs and watch your clap. And that's a true fucking fact. Lick, lick, lick. This song really makes you snap.

The Carl and Vinnie, no talent whatsoever. You think you're both so clever. You're not. You're not. I get it. Hey Carl and Vinnie. Fuck you. And that's the way

the news goes. Wow. That was some song right there, Christine. She announced that she has an only fan when I was on WATP, right? She said she has an only fan. I don't think so. Someone in the chat asked if that was the girl that John was out of date with.

I can imagine the duet between those two. Lady King. Fatty Fatty Patty Patty That's pretty good How about

I buy you a beer Jesus Christ Be more funny To Wired Christian You know there's leaked Oh God I'm sorry You got to be corrected

She's on only flaps Forgive me Forgive me Wow Wow Well after that We can only do better right minnie we're going to play my stand-up routine yeah should we play that for everybody

so yeah so let's play the stand-up now so this is my consequence i had to do a uh stand-up set the cardiff wrote it's uh thankfully only about six minutes long yep so it's not too bad but then i find out because i go home after the show and i flick on el hariblay and christian blatz on there and christian was the one writing jokes for cardiff for me yeah well when i say writing jokes i mean Googling them. Yeah, getting the worst knock-knock jokes possible. Yeah, your writer was Google, which was annoying because Christian was upset that he didn't incorporate all of the knock-knock jokes he gave him. But, you know, you lose people with these types of jokes, Christian. I love how you're trying to edit, like, this consequence. Like,

it has to be something everybody. Come on. I need to help me out here. Now, no, there's, well, there's some jokes, Cardiff gave me that I thought were legitimately funny. I was reading them we were having dinner beforehand i was reading up and i'm like okay this one's pretty funny this one's pretty funny i'm going to post this as its own video for everybody at some point probably later today or in the week okay but i sent brian mcbride out first to introduce you yes and i gave him a prepared message so let's start with that uh excuse me ladies and gentlemen i normally wouldn't bring my phone on stage but i was asked to read this verbatim my name is brian mcbride you may know me as the voice of syracuse on the creep off podcast

There's a hype man right there. Good job, McGrath. Vinnie Paulino has asked me to come here tonight to introduce the comedy debut of his creep-off co-host, Carl Hamburger. The jokes that Mr. Hamburger is about to perform are very offensive. Please be advised that this type of humor is not endorsed by the people's champion Vinnie Paulino. I want nothing to do with this. If you feel offended by anything that he says this evening, please feel free to film it and report it to the hypocrisy police by tweeting at Stuttering John M.

Thank you for your attention. We hope to give you, and we hope you enjoy the show tonight. Now please give a warm round of applause for Carl Hamburger. Thanks for getting dressed up for the show. All right, I'm just going to, look it, guys, this is my consequence. I'm just going to read the jokes as they were ready. Oh, we should skip past this part.

What is Vinny Fat? Vinny looks like stuttering John if Stutjo let himself go. I'll have you know. I have a Navajo baby. Pause it. Pause it. Okay. I was pretending to read that.

That was not the cardiff did not give that to me. That was just me. So you can hear this in the background. I'll play it back just a second. I was listening behind the stage door to this because I wanted to hear the laughs of this set. And when you did that, I opened up the door and screamed,

stay on script, asshole. Okay, yeah, we hear that. Did he want to himself go. Turn out script, asshole. All right, I'm going to do the actual jokes. That was for me. Knock, knock. Who's there?

Banana. Yeah, do. Knock, knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock, knock. Orange. Orange, you glad I didn't say banana again.

That was great. So, pause it. I won't keep pausing this, I promise. We'll just have to play. No, I would love to hear what's going through your brain. I just want to point out how dumb Christian plan is. So he set that in because he's like, well, you know, it's a tribute to O.J from Tuki soup and potato soup and shit.

And I'm like, you know, No one's going to connect those dots and be like, that's actually pretty clever. That's what that was supposed to be. Yeah, that's why he included that. I thought he was just trying to sabotage the opening of your set. That is what he was doing, but he thought he was like paying tribute to OJ.

Anyway, I want to play now. Wow. Christian, you dumbbell. Ross and my tips, sir. Please do not interact with the performers during the show. I'm kicking myself for not handing out vegetables to throw. Oh, you should have. Is this thing on?

How much do pirates pay for corn? Come on a buccaneer. You know it's good for people are yelling the punchline. Speaking of football, how about a round of applause to the Kansas City Chiefs for winning the Super Bowl? I'm so happy for Tatei. But you know me, I just love a good love story.

Now, if I had written that joke, I would have changed that, Because I wouldn't have used the word love twice in the sentence. I would have said, I enjoy a love story. That's comedy writing, folks. You can't say the same word multiple times in a row. That's just writing writing, but this is not comedy. I don't write other things.

I only write jokes. Bad jokes. How about those 49ers? Though they really looked like Suttering John's kids during the Super Bowl. That's a good one. That's a good joke. Hey, Amber. They're talking about my kids.

What's the difference between a Bill's fan and a baby? The baby will stop whining after a while. Hamburger. I think that one was for me. That's enough about a football. Let's talk about something I know a lot about, gay dudes and teeth. This is the setup. It's the setup.

What do you call a gay dentist, a tooth fairy? Hamburger. Now I'm going to get to the ones I think Cardiff actually wrote. Why did Katie Holmes divorce Tom Cruise? Because she saw him in a few good men. Come on. Hey, Amber. I feel sorry for Catholic gays this time of year.

No meat on Fridays must suck for them. Not me, though. I'm a dick-suck-and-athist. Hey, Amber. Please send all these jobs. A gay guy, a lesbian, and a transgender were all lined up to go to a wean concert. The bouncer came out and asked them to get into a straight line

so they left. So many details in this. Hambert! What did the necrophiliac say when he was walking by the morgue? I'm going to stop in for a cold one. Hambur! how did how do you get a nun

pregnant you come in your cunt hamburg I want to thank my mom for being here my dad great to see you both I don't get it

hold on Dwyer Christian is right he goes this will get SJ stricter from YouTube when he reacts to it good point is he think this is an act That's hilarious.

What's the difference between a tire and a bag of 365 used condoms? One's a good here. The others are great all-you-can-eat buffet. Hamburger. What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I've never paid $100 for a lentil in my mouth. Hamburk.

I've never paid $100 for a lentil in my mouth. was recently arrested after an isotope's gig. Allegedly, I was fingering a minor. While I was being arrested, the cop read me my rights and said anything I say can and will be held against me. So I yelled, Cawks! Pause it real quick. So I think Cardiff sent me a note that the way it was written, I didn't read it correctly.

I was fingering a minor. Yeah, you were playing guitar. Right. It was a guitar joke. It's a chord. You just decided to confess on stage. I know, I just assumed that. All right. Yeah, that poor little boy.

I liked that one, too. I thought that was funny. I was reading these right before we came over here. I was like, that's not bad. I came home from shopping at Wegmas yesterday, and my wife asked, how was Wegmans? I said, it's funny that you asked. Something strange happened.

A guy in the produce department showed me his dick. My wife was shocked, but her curiosity got the best of her. She said, what was it like? I said, it reminded me of a peanut. she started laughing and said it's tiny like yours I said no it was huge it was just very salty

Cardiff was so proud of that joke after you told it he looked at me he goes do you realize I just got him to say he has a small dick and that he sucks dick in the same joke and I went advance writing Cardiff

Grish next level buddy why does Sam Adams come in bottles and cans because his wife is a frigid Cunt. Ham Burger. I think I hear

Kroge going, oh. What's the deal with illegal immigrants? Am I right? They show up here, raping and stealing. Everyone is on such high alert now. It makes it so much harder for us rapists that we're born here.

Hamburger. Guys, that's been my time. Thank you all for coming to the show. Thanks a lot, Carl. Yay, you did a consequence. Good job. I'll post the full video for everybody who watches without our banter. But how'd you feel your set one? Pretty good.

Yeah, no, it actually did go better than I expected it to. I completely forgot. You did stand up in front of the show where I was assaulted by that train. I was heckled by a train in Nashville. Oh, I did stand up there. I also had DabbleCon too. You did. And I'm going to tell you something, Carl.

Yeah. I think that if you applied yourself, you probably could. Yeah, I don't know. You could stand on stage and deliver a joke. Maybe just, I'm not going to apply myself. I'm like you. I don't like stand-up comedy anymore. All right.

I have time to announce. I have two gigs coming up. That's right. I got two, well, three gigs coming up. Many unretiring again. Well, their exhibition matches, my friend. They're exhibitions. I'm doing hackamania, baby.

That's right. I'm doing some stand-up at our live show. The HAC of Media stand-up show I'm really looking forward to because Pat Dixon's fantastic. Agreed. And Ray DeVito, I just want to witness. I just want to see that. Patrick Melton's really funny. He's coming out of retirement to do that show.

That's me cool. You're going to be there. It's going to be a blast. Yeah. And there's going to be an open mic after for any of you listeners that have ever wanted to try comedy. There'll be a panel of us who are out of the show to give you feedback and probably roast your ass. Yeah, it's kill Tony, basically. We're going to, we're going to fuck with you guys.

Stealing kill Tony. It's going to be fun. So if you want to be participating that, hackamania.com is we're going to get tickets. Now also two shows coming up next month. I'm going to be at the Rob's Comedy Playhouse Theater in Buffalo with Florentine. And then the following night, Carl, I took this gig just so I could have a chat with him about you. My boy, Rich Voss is coming back. Oh, that's right.

Rich boss. And I'm going to do a one-nighter with Rich. So I'm pretty excited for that. Excellent. I have to get him over to the studio to do a podcast. Good fucking luck. But I'm going to try for you. I would ask it really, really nicely.

and we'll see what happens so folks this has been a great show today i want to thank megan for coming on we're going to have uh i don't know how we're going to bring in a results girl next week we didn't do a contest we're going to have to figure something out what do you mean well we have one more person who wants to audition and we didn't do a contest today therefore no results to deliver oh i see what you're saying okay so we'll have the results girl read uh we'll put a thread in the subwriter or something yeah we'll come up with something so uh Megan you were wonderful. Or maybe we can have them vote. Thanks for coming. Oh, hey. Hey, Megan. You're still here. Hi. Thanks for coming. Good to see you. Thank you. Thank you for having me. You're welcome. Bye. You have a

great week. See you again. Bye. I'm a feeling we'll see here again. She's delightful. She really is. We're going to bring all of them on together, I think, when we do the final announcement. We'll bring them all on. Well, I don't want to spoil anything, but basically, Vinnie and I are going to stop doing the show and we're just going to have results girls bouncing up and down on the show. you're welcome Results girls on trampolines the new segment from the creepop if we could find a results girl to do the results from a trampoline

I would not even know what to do with myself except be very proud I would build find a way to build a time machine and go back and find little chubby 14 year old Vinny and just give him a fucking high five that's what I do I say dude

it's going to be all right a little butterball and I would have fucking come back here and smile every day till I die. God damn it. He's a simple man, people. It doesn't take much. That's why we love him.

All right, kids. It's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. Gagia. This is going great. Let's all learn a lesson from this podcast. Don't do what we do, which is a podcast. You think you can get away with that?

Without having legal ramifications, you're out of your fucking mind. Your podcast stinks. Your podcast stinks.