The Creep Off - Episode 213: Brown Saturday

Episode Date: May 13, 2024

In this episode a new round is starting and someone is spinning the wheel of consequences: In Karl’s cop cam segment we watch a real crybaby make a fool of himself in kohls: In the Scum Parade, we take a ride with a stoned youtuber, we examine the lengths some will go to get some chicken wings and learn a flawless way to win an argument! The score is currently Vinnie 0 - Karl 0, visit thecreepoff.com to vote and decide this week’s winner and find links to all of our social media Get your tickets to Hackamania in Las Vegas at Hackamania.com use promo code “Creep” and save 20%Check out the Scum Parade stories: Man charged with overturning port-a-potty, trapping woman and child inside (boston.com)Man from France accused of stalking Oklahoman ventriloquist Darci Lynne Farmer (ktul.com)YouTuber runs over pedestrian while streaming under the influence - DexertoTenn. woman bought hot wings after allegedly shooting, robbing man who offered her money for sex | Truecrimedaily.comWant to support the show? Find us on Patreon, Supercast & Backed.by to get exclusive merch an extra bonus episode every week! Don’t forget you can leave us a voicemail at 585-371-8108You can follow our Results girl Danni on Instagram @Danni_Desolation

So Vinnie, I got a note, I don't know if you got it too, about the poker tournament on the Sunday, June 2nd? I saw that the sign-up is out. Yes, I went in and signed up for it. I don't know if it took or not. You're supposed to have your ticket number, which I don't have. But I made one up. So are you going to play some poker with us? I don't know how to play poker.

I've never played. Then you definitely should. I just might. I might just learn. I know the basic game, but I've never played like hold home. I've never really gotten into poker. So it might be fun. I might jump in on that.

That's 60 bucks. It's a tournament style. 60 bucks. All are welcome. Should be good. That's cool. That sounds pretty good for somebody like me who's never really done it before. Yeah.

And then we'll all yell at you for doing it wrong, nonstop. Just like when I do anything in the dabbled verse. True that. So folks, get your tickets now for hackamania at hackamania.com. Use promo code creep and save 20%. and you're going to come and see NLO. You're going to see my man Earl Skakel. You are going to see Ray DeVito in person.

You were going to see a live creep-off. You are going to see a live WATP and a live toky soup. So you know where to get your tickets. Do it. Well, you're burying the lead here. How so? My brother's going to be performing stand-up for the first time. you're speechless

So hackomania.com You could get your tickets to see us All right, all right. All right, we'll see you in Vegas. But let's do a show now. Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids.

Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grownups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't any of these type of things. I'm going to give you. the people what they want sensation horror shock i'm going to deliver the goods because i'm alive and i'm not backing down coo coo coo coo wildcar bitches yehaha Disgusting Vomit-inducing thing

Ola Creepos, welcome to another edition of your favorite true-crime podcast The show about creeps by creeps for you creeps I'm your host, my name is Vinny and joining me in studio is one morose motherfucker.

It's hot cuck-c-c-c-c-c-carol. What is happening, Vinnie, Paul, Good to see you, my friend. Happy Super Chat Monday, my friend. Super Chat Monday is here again. It creeps up on me. It certainly does. Most things do creep off on a Monday.

Yes. They creep up. They creep off. I'm just glad that you found us. Today's show is streaming live. Reminder for those of you who are just listening to the show, you could watch us live, join us every Monday on YouTube. We're on the creep off channel.

We're on the Who Are These podcast channel. 1 p.m. Eastern every Monday. That's it. And every week we're going to bring you the creeps. So you know how this show works. works. This is a contest. Vinny and I bring creeps every single week and then you find folks go to the creepoff.com and vote for who you thought brought the bigger creep. And at the beginning of each episode, we go through the results from the last episode. Now, Vinny has a four to two lead. And the first person to get to five wins. I just want to put something out. I was down to nothing. I know. You're out of streak. You've won four in a row. I was down to nothing. I know. I don't like what's happening here. all right so there's only one person who can bring us the results it's our creep girl Danny Danny read in results oh dandy please won't you post that fanny all over the

Patreon Danny Danny that body's so uncanny voice moved like lamb and shandy oh yeah she's my creep girl I love that song Danny your internet is not great but I'm hoping that you're here to deliver some good news. What happened in last week's round? All right. Last week's category was the creepiest Mexican. And with 59% of the vote, the winner is Mr. Vinnie Paulino. Oh, come on.

Please. You're going to make a pet. Fuck, yeah. Unbelievable. So you've won five in a row and you just won the round. Carl, do you know what that means? Yes. One more.

For the good guys. And you know what? I'm even given one of these. He's going to spin that wheel. All right. So I've got to spin the wheel of consequences at the end of the show today. That sucks. Also, for those of you who aren't keeping score at home,

we've been doing this a long time, Vinnie. Yeah. You have won 15 rounds. I have won 10 rounds of the creep off. That is correct. All time. This will be my 15th time spinning the wheel of consequences. Dude, that's insane.

I know. it's a lot. You would think you would try harder. I am trying hard. I think you're rigging the vote. How? By the way, when Danny auditioned, she was great at this job. Ever since she got the job, she's been terrible at it.

What do you mean? She's doing terrible. She says you win every week. She's frozen right now, but that's kind of hard. Well, Carl, what do you want it to do? It's the results. It's what people are voting for. I blame Danny.

I always blame the messenger, Vinny. You know that. That's my policy. always shoot the messenger yes that's my policy over here well that's annoying well carl i got to tell you something buddy yeah i'm not sad that you have to spin the wheel but we do need to talk about what the consequences are this time okay and uh hey danny your your internet's freezing up and it's wildly distracting so i want to bounce could you bounce down to just audio for right now yeah no problem sorry about that oh you're all good we love you so hold on one second let's start this at the beginning

here. Okay. Number one is Winner's Choice. Okay. Number two is the Helga Man Book Report. That's awesome. Buy Helga's book. I have the book. Perfect. Patreon and Super Chats. Money to the winner is number three. That sucks. Time number four is listening to all of Tom Meyer's stand-up albums. Wow. Number five, go to Mormon Church. Oh, we have

Mormon Church out here now? I just threw it out there for fun. Okay. Number six, $100 to podcast, Hitman. Number seven is you have to watch the movie Gummo and number eight is past the spin. I want to talk about this Mormon church thing. Yeah, I threw it out there for fun. Dude, that's brutal because, listen, I went to church. That was one of my consequences once.

I went to a mega church. You can kind of just go and watch and hang out, give them some money and call it a day. Yeah. Those Mormons, that's not, it's not going to go like that with them. They're the fucking terminators of organized religion. They don't stop. I know. I know.

You're going to end up on a list. Oh, I'm giving them your address. I can't wait. You know, I used to play that prey got people in the dorm. Or I'm a book of Mormon. And what would happen is whenever you order the book of Mormon, they would hand deliver it. So you'd just be trying to sleep on a Saturday morning. There's just a knock at the door.

It's like, hey, here's the book you ordered. Can we come in and talk to you? Wow, you've always been a real treat, haven't you, Vinny? We're a real asshole sometimes. You're a real treat to be around. Yeah. Nothing like weaponizing innocent people like that. It's pretty terrible.

It's pretty terrible. Danny, you did a great job today. I'm sorry your internet's kind of sucky. And your outfit is on point. So let's bring that back when your internet works better. Yeah. So get that shit fixed and we'll catch you next week, all right? We'll do for sure.

All right, Danny. You and I, we need to make up, all right? For sure. All right. Sounds good. Don't you ever talk to Danny like that again. Do you understand, Carl? I'm just saying she's got to do right by me, Vinny.

She's got to do a better job. That's all I'm saying. She's got to do right by the listeners. And I'll tell you what, if I was in your spot, I wouldn't be blaming her. I'd be sitting there going, why? Why didn't you do better, Vinnie? Why? Is that what you'd be doing?

Yeah, probably. I know what you do. You blame the victim. I do blame the victim. I know who you blame on this show. I've been known to every now and again. A victim blame. Oh, I'm sorry, but you brought this on yourself.

It's for you. This is for you. All right. So because this is an episode where we're spinning the wheel of consequences, it means it's a wild card episode. That is correct. Which means there is no specific category. We're just finding the biggest creeps we can find and presenting them today.

And before we start the competition, it is Super Champ Monday. People are celebrating. I love that. Michael C. Coming in, two bucks says, Jingle Bells, Carl Smells, Vinny is Big Fat. There's, you know, the $2 ones, there is a character. your limit that makes it difficult sometimes yeah if you want to really be mean

Annie up an extra three grim I ahern thanks for the five bucks I loan Danny my chemical romance CD and she won't return it untrustworthy next week category emo girls oh is that still a thing emo girls we just had one on the show I think I think well I think you're right my chemical romance is still a popular band though are they no two face line bastard two bucks is having trouble listening live drive by South Carolina. You're performing a drive-by right now, sir? Oh, drive-by super chat.

That makes more sense. Drive-by super chat. The mechanical eight, thanks for five bucks. Vinny F and Winnie. Carl F. and Spitty. Hope there's a good Carl's cop camp today. See you creeps in Vegas. Can't wait to meet you.

Oh, yeah. We'll see you in Vegas. And yes, I do have a great Carl's cop cam today. Michael C. Thanks for the $1.99. Wheel of Consequence idea. I like that. Can we put that instead of going to more

George. I'll think about it. All right. I'll think about it. So Carl, Wildcard round. I'm up. So ring that bell and let's get after it. All right. My creep today, Carl, was sent to me in an email by a gentleman by the name of Dr. Steve. Oh, shit. Why is everyone helping you? Well, he sent this to me as a scum parade story.

And I went, holy fucking shit, because I've kind of been following this, here's the story. My creep today, his name is Marius Gustafson. We got Gustafson, 46 years old. His creepy pals just call him Theo. And if that's what his friends call him, that's what I'm going to call him. He was originally from Norway, and he was a known LGBT charity campaigner with a passion for the Eurovision song contest. Okay. I was just listening to a podcast that was talking about this on my way over here. About this guy? Well, I don't know. We'll see. Okay.

I know that there was someone who was disqualified. Oh, not the Eurovision contest, no. Okay. Although he probably would not be available to enter at this point. Okay. Friends and former colleagues described him as an isolated loner who dedicated all his spare time to gay activism. He served as the regional chairman of Norway's National Association for Lesbian and Gay Liberation.

Once the country's largest LGBT group, Carl, he campaigned for more sex education in schools, and he actively complained to public. about school textbooks containing almost nothing about homosexuality. Yeah, I know that is fucked up. We need to be telling kids more about putting their penises in dudes' butts. It's crazy that we don't. Now, as the chairman between 2003-2008, he hosted Gay Weekends in Oslo with hundreds of gay men. He was a very popular guy.

I don't know why this struck me, but that's a great band name, Gay Weekends in Oslo. I would go see those guys. Yeah, they're probably emo. Well, maybe. Yeah, so Theo moved to London after his 11-year marriage broke down in 2016. That's too bad. And this was the start of kind of a dark road for Theo. He took a job working in a hospital.

And Carl, are you familiar with the term nullos? I'm not. Okay. Well, let me make sure you never sleep again. Okay. Some people call it extreme body modifications. It's basically a subculture where men become nullos. it's short for genital nullification.

So basically to become a nullo, you have to have your penis and testicles removed. In other words, it's the hip term for becoming a eunuch. Okay. Now, Gustafson was driven towards this extreme subculture by desire to, quote, be the architect of his own body. Now, by day, he's a normal guy working in the hospital. At night, he spent all of his time networking on really weird message boards. and looking at the most extreme, gory, bloody, body modification porn you could imagine.

Okay, before we get into the creepiness of this, I just want to say that getting rid of your cock and balls, it sounds crazy, but do you know how rich and famous you would be if you were able to do that in your teenage years? If you spent all of your time working towards your profession and your hobbies and weren't trying to get laid 25 hours a day, we would all be rich and famous.

It's not a terrible idea. Well, this guy's full of good ideas. Okay. Now, eventually, this isn't one of them, though. Eventually, he stopped observing and became a participant. Wapio says put it on the wheel. Listen, if I'm not going to drive to Gary, Indiana, I'm not going to have my testicles remove this fucking show.

If he's not going to Mormon shirt, well, maybe, never mind. So he starts off kind of light. So he starts off with chopping off the tip of his own nipple. with a scalpel that he stole from the hospital. Now, seems tame. A scalpel, you can use scissors for that. Sure, sure. Come on over here.

You don't need anything special for that procedure. Come on over. Put this on the wheel. Come on over for that. It would be against YouTube's TOS. I don't know. Don't do it on camera. I'd just make sure everybody heard you screaming.

In 2017, he escalated a little bit. He paid a male prostitute to come over to his house and help him remove his own penis with a kitchen knife. I had to pay that guy extra. Yeah. The dude who helped him with this, like held it while he cut it off himself, ended up being tracked down and arrested for it about a year ago. All right.

A stupid question, dude. Why do you need someone to hold it while you chop it off? I mean, can't you hold it with your left hand and cut your penis with your right hand? You really need a spotter for that? I feel like you probably could do it all by yourself. Yeah. I think you just wanted a friend. Well, if he was going to pass out or something, he wanted somebody to drive him to the hospital.

So this dude who got arrested for this ended up doing five years in prison for helping this guy chop off his dick. He's in prison right now. Okay, good. He claims the night after leaving, he threw up all inside of his own car. He's been having nightmares ever since it happened, he says. So why did he agree to this then? Is he getting paid? Drug addict and wanted money.

Got him got paid. So he made a lot of friends during this time. They called themselves cutters. One was a male nurse from the hospital that, he worked at, Nathaniel Arnold. The other was this kid named Jacob Crimmy Appleby. He's 22 years old. That's a made-up.

That's a made-up name if I ever heard one. Crimmie Appleby? Crimmie Appleby. Okay. Now, this was a 22-year-old kid who he just met on these message boards who liked this shit. Is anyone fact-checking Vinny? You know what?

I never go on and research. This guy's convicted. He's convicted. Creamy Appleby is spending a lot of time in prison. I am, uh... You could Google it. He's suspicious. You're just making shit up over there.

and I made a crummy apathy. So it started off as a little hobby. They were all into this stuff, and they decided that making nullos would be a really cool way to help people out, you know, who wanted to get their penises off. Sure. So he thought people shouldn't have to hire, you know,

jigilos to come over and hold your dick to chop it off. There should be someone doing it professionally, Carl. So there's no official record of how many people they assisted removing their penis. around this time, but I heard it was a handful. Oh, come on. Come on. Come on. Complications were frequent occurrence at Theo's house, though, blood loss mainly. So people going in for something, and then he couldn't stop the bleeding. They would just drop people off at the emergency room and leave them in those cases. Now, the reality here is this

was not just altruistic. You know? It wasn't? No. There's another motivation. This wasn't some type of assistance for people suffering from some type of dysmorphia. It was mentally sexually stimulating to Theo. He doesn't have a dick anywhere. This is what fucking got this guy off. Removing body parts and torture is what got this dude off. His parts, your parts, it don't matter, dude. February 2019, Theo wanted some more for himself.

So his buddy Jacob Crimmie Appleby helped Theo with another body modification. Should have got Lorraine Bobbitt. She's good at this. Well, this is a different one. He already chopped off the dick and he's missing a nipple. Okay. So what he did was he packed Theo's leg in dry ice, right? Okay. This left his leg completely dead and had to be amputated at the hospital.

Oh, God. And then guess what he decided to do? What's that? Go on government assistance. Well, this is London, you said? Yeah. Yeah. So he signs up for government assistance.

And now he's got all this new time on his hands with this new stump that apparently he finds pleasing. And Carl, this is where he has the best idea ever. he has an epiphany and ladies and gentlemen eunickmaker.com was born no shit yes sir now carl i'm going to show you i'm going to show you a little something here this is a picture of theo okay this is a picture of the front page where you would go to log it on unic maker okay now it's not selling me i got to say i got it's not selling me out let's talk about unikmaker.com so he was the mastermind it was very lucrative and widespread he realized he was not alone in this perversion so it was time for him to grift enter a kid named andrew who was an IT tech that they did a procedure on in the apartment they hired this kid to become the webmaster this site was insane it produced videos including the removal of genitals they were filmed and live streamed as paper views so is this guy's tagline not only am i the president of eunuch maker i'm also a client yes for over four years this guy made over 300 000 pounds

he had 22,800 subscribers paying to watch genital mutilation no shit all right so a question for you vennie do what does he do with the penises that he gets after the end of this is he sell them on the black market we'll talk about that in a minute he collect them for fun we'll get there we'll get there okay now he's making all of this money from this website by the way while still claiming thousands in disability benefits. I'd like to point that out. Now, how did he find victims for this? It's very simple.

He advertised his services such as male castration, penis removal, and freezing off of limbs on message boards. He frequented. Here was the catch. We'll do the procedure for free. You just have to consent to us filming. I see. Okay.

Yeah. So it's more about the people watching them. Yeah. He came up with the medical emergency plans to sound professional. And his buddy Nathaniel, the male nurse, would steal medical supply. like anesthesia and numbing shit talked a big game about safety but it was just really

to con these psychos into coming to him he built a studio in his apartment his apartment was considered to be neat and clean where do you pee after you get your penis removed no clue is that explained on the website somewhere out of the fucking hatchet wound is there an FAQ on that website I wonder if there's certain questions

that come up a lot my login expired okay fair enough so his apartment was neat and clean he decided the best place was the guest bedroom so he put a sign on the door that said Theo's playroom opened 24 hours seven days rigged cameras with a table in the center there was also a picture frame above the table

the victim would lay on in which he displayed removed testicles that he had collected over the many procedures that he had done with a rack of knives and clamps and shit now so he's treating him like their funco pops he just put them on display just collecting him putting him on display yeah well we'll get there website content carl make no mistake about it this website was not about again gender dysmorphia or anything like that this was about people who got off watching this shit sure there was roughly 29 procedures were carried out in quote amateur and dangerous ways with tools like kitchen knives surgical scalples and implements designed to be used on livestock the videos generally ended the same way leaving victims writhing in pain and needing medical attention

And the theme song from Curb Your Enthusiasm. They also did some pretty heavy penis torture, Carl. Clamping of testicles to the point of castration and straight up crushing people's balls with vice grips. Jesus. That's awful. Their youngest victim was 16 years old and they took turns electrocuting his leg until it had to be removed. A 16-year-old kid. Now, Gustafin's film production techniques, you know, began to take on a more and more professional feel.

as you know he was putting money into the product we need 4K cameras in here yeah he did a few other segments carl he started uh coming up with more content you know for his channel yeah uh for example he did a few other segments not everything has to be gory surgeries he did a little cooking segment on how to prepare human testicles okay which he then plates and eats on camera See, I wouldn't think that that would be a delicious treat in any way. Theo had cooked the testicles for his lunch and then artfully arranged a salad platter and ate them. Okay. No bone appetit, Carl.

I see what you did there. Yeah, yeah. He also taught people how to preserve additional body parts as trophies. So that's helpful. Now, the videos were uploaded to the website and subscribers paid to watch with varying levels of membership, varying from free. to VIP, which cost a hundred pounds, the court heard. The website.

Yes. The website got so popular, he went on the road. His webmaster, Andrew, ended up testifying, and he said, I also know he used to go abroad on holidays to do these things. There was an annual trip. They would go to Germany and someone would rent out a space somewhere. It was a group of, quote, cutters that would have arranged for people to come to that place,

and it was almost like a party. Can I just say that this being popular? in Germany surprises me, not at all. Nope. Not even a little bit. And he goes, I only know this because one year he couldn't go because he lost his passport and was really angry. Now, you asked me, what was he doing with all this extra stuff? He had legs laying around, all sorts of limbs, dicks, all over the fucking place. Sure.

So, Andrew, this guy who testified in court, told about another situation that happened. He said, my partner and I were there at his apartment when a sale went down. We never asked about the fridge before, but when Theo walked off with what looked like something a bit dodgy in a bag, we asked and he said, oh, yeah, that's someone's penis. It belonged to a nice little 20-something from Belgium. A dude showed up and just bought it from him and handed him cash. The court, they asked him, how much cash did he get for this? And he goes, to be honest with you, it wasn't much. He used the money to buy pizza.

Okay. I figured to be a black market for this type of thing. Well, he realized that too Because again, Theo was a businessman Even though he was getting off on all this He was a businessman Well, do what you love, never work a day in your life His website would eventually have a store

For removed body parts and limbs Kind of like eBay, he had people bidding But there was also a buy it now button I'm not kidding That's awesome And he kept the stock for these orders In a freezer at his house Now Carl, how was he caught?

I bet you want to know Because it's all on the internet for anyone to find? Nope. That's not how we got caught. It's because in all things, you have to be a professional, okay?

In a video of one incident, it was played in court, Theo got a little fancy and maybe gone a little too far. One of the victims who was there getting his whatever taken off, Theo decided that it would be really a good idea for marketing for his website

if he branded the guy on the back of his calf, the letters E.M. for Unic Maker Now this man was very upset by that He's like dude I came in here I told you to take my balls off

I didn't tell you to brand me What the fuck dude I gotta walk around with this on my leg Yeah now I'm a bitch in two ways What's that cool is this dude And he went to the cops And he told them all about Theo And his buddies

And an investigation was launched He probably didn't read the fine print though I'm sure that he had the right To brand these guys When they signed the contract Right? There's got to be contrax involved. Of course.

There's a lot of paperwork involved in the eunuch maker website. So imagine the cops in London surprise when they started investigating this and they realized this shit was not even on the dark web, Carl. Right. Just a website. This was a fucking regular website. You could Google it. Yeah. Right.

Now, the cops went to Theo's house, obviously. They went and searched the apartment. They found the studio. They found hard drives. And also turned out that on the site Theo was. producing and distributing child pornography. Oh, Jesus. So now he's a pedophile, a cannibal.

He removed his fucking dick and he likes child porn? Dude, he's a businessman. He's making it. Oh, oh. Oh. That's not good. Yeah. No shit.

It's that good. This fucking psycho. He's fucking chopping off balls for fun. What an asshole! So they found his leg in other people's appendages in the multiple freezers. They found a refrigerator full of pickled cocks, and they found Theo's cock from four years earlier, no joke, and a drunk drawer in the kitchen. Jeez, Louise. On May 9th, did you make that up pickled penises?

No, they were in jars and shit in the fridge. They were pickling the penises? Yeah. I did not. That's what he was doing. So, on May 9th, just a few days ago. Pickled penis pizza wheel of cata quads. Hard fucking pass.

Hard pass. Just a few days ago, he was finally sentenced because he did plead guilty to conspiracy to commit grievous bodily harm among other charges. The judge ordered him to life in prison. And six other men involved in the conspiracy also received sentences for their roles in this website. Now, in my opinion, what makes this man the biggest creep besides from fucking everything. Everything is this bizarre mix of sexual gratification and his own financial gain off of it. It's really fucking weird. And he did it all at the expense of legitimately butchering other human beings.

So, folks. So you're mad about profitability? That's what you're upset about? Not only this guy is a creep, but he was good at it and turned to profit. Why is that a bad thing? Because he was doing. because he was basically taking mentally ill people and victimizing them for his own gain.

All right, well, don't look too much into the business model for Who are these podcasts, please, if you think that's a bad thing. I forgot, I need to change this to victory. Let me just change that out. Mentally ill people? Hey, you know what? You know what?

You know what? I got a new website. Taking advantage of the mentally ill. Hey, Carl, we got some more super chats. All right, buddy. Your presentation is to not ice you. Coof, thank you. says thank you for not visiting greenland we appreciate you coup for not visiting greenland

yourself miss charlie loves one 99 thanks for inviting juju the cow and veto ah kiwi farms you're welcome there's nothing but nice things to say about us at kiwi farms dang lizard thanks for the five euros carl is your experience what made you more productive magic mind or the gender removal magic mind i always promote magic can you look at that photo again that is the most disturbing photo ever that's car that's car Carl Jeremy. Yes, it is. Oh, brutal. Dang a lizard. Nimrod. Thanks for the $4.99. I'm never using the term I'm freezing my balls off ever again. Right. That's a real thing, apparently. Or your leg. All right, Vinny. You ready for my creep this week? I think you could do better. Go ahead. Let me introduce you to a cute girl, Zaria Burgess. She was born December 3rd, 2003, to her parents, Akisha and Joshua. If you want to, uh, a cute girl, Zaria Burgess. If you want to, uh, pull up my first

image there. That's our friend Zaria. Monroe High School was about to welcome Zaria as a sophomore. As an enthusiastic member of the school's marching band, Zaria, was always eager to be part of their performances. Her parents, however, are no longer together. And so

Zaria was residing with her mom, and we can see an image of Zaria and her mom. Okay. Let's take a look at Zaria and her mom. So that's Zaria, her father, her mother split up, so she's living with her mom, but on the weekends, she stayed with their father, Josh.

Let's take a look at the photo of those two. There they are. Look at what a happy kid she is with her mom and her dad, her dad on the weekends. Her dad is giving off school shooter vibes. Well, it appeared that Zaria's father played an active role in his daughter's life based on social media activity. It showed that they had shared a deep bond that brought them together. Joshua couldn't stop bragging about Zaria.

affectionately calling her his mini-me his love for her new no bounds and he proudly boasted about it emphasizing how she was priceless and irreplaceable if you want to show my Instagram image this is an actual post that he put out and there he is I love this little angel more than anything nothing beats quality time

with my daughter and his buddy Scott's like good stuff and he's like yeah man this is what I like to do hanging out my daughter on the weekends just a great dad right you know he doesn't work out with the mom doesn't mean you can't be a great dad to your daughter Of course. Right. There's a lot of single dads out there who fucking kill it and hopefully not literally.

Well, on August 17th, 2019, Zaria went to visit her father for the weekend as she normally did. And around 924 a.m. the next day, Joshua walked into the Union County Sheriff's Office and told the officer on duty at the time that he wanted to turn himself in. And this is what he was talking about. This is from the Disturban YouTube channel. An autopsy was conducted on Zaria's body, where it was found that she had suffered extreme psychological and physical torture for over 22 hours. Joshua had attacked her and tied her up. He then proceeded to force himself upon his own daughter for nearly a whole day. At some point during these hours, Joshua had attempted to suffocate and strangled Zaria to death.

but it seems that these attempts didn't work as intended. It's at this point after 22 hours of horrific torture that he used a knife to slice her throat and the autopsy reports indicate that the cut was extremely deep. Those who worked on this case described it as one of if not the worst case they had ever seen in their career. One officer said, The details of this murder are indescribable.

Every officer and every detective involved in this case has felt the effects of what happened to this girl. There is no logical answer to explain why this man did what he is accused of doing. Our hearts and prayers are with the victim's mother and her family. So it's odd that this loving father always posts all these social media posts, how much he loves his daughter and everything like that, would then tie her up, torture her, and rape her for 22 hours straight. I just need to comment.

Principal uncertainty nailed this. I was thinking this the whole time we were listening to that. What accent is that? Was that man boarded a swab? I read that. Yes. The Disturban channel, that guy narrates all of their videos. All right.

So it's funny because all of his social media is still up. And now people are going through and looking at other things that he's posted on there. If you want to pull up my Facebook post, now that we know what this guy's up to, it's a little disturbing. So there's his Facebook post, February of 2016. You can see that his daughter is his profile picture. And he's got a bunch of knives sitting there on the table. And it says, I just really like cutting people. Oops.

I meant things. I like cutting things, winky face. It got two likes. Yeah, I'm right. It got two likes from people and 19 replies for some reason. Oh, I want to know what the replies were. So that's not great. And then they're trying to figure out, like, why would you do this to your daughter you supposedly loved, torture her, raper?

and there's some speculation that maybe there was some meth involved. This guy is a truck driver. So there's some speculation there. But he gave some reasons. Now, the reasons changed. The first thing he said was it was to get back at his ex. He was very angry with the mother

and decided that Keisha needed a lesson. So he tortured his daughter, her daughter. But then he came out and said that he actually struggled with his lust for her and couldn't control himself anymore. He said that he said that he, He was in love with his daughter, and now that she's getting to the age where she's getting boyfriends, her age at school, he was very jealous and wanted her all for himself. And so decided to, uh, if he can't have her, no one can.

He even said it was the best 22 hours of his life, torturing and raping his own daughter. After three hours of deliberation, a jury handed down the death sentence to the North Carolina dad for the brutal slaying of his teen daughter in 2019. following uh yeah so he was found guilty first degree murder and uh he is on death row talking about being born to lose that poor girl oh man that's that's a rough one right there you got to get the one weird dad sometimes you got to stay together for the sake of the kids right right viny yeah yeah this particular scenario probably would have been helpful so that's my creep or they would have found her the mother's head on the fucking bedpost.

That's my creep. Josh Burgess, the man who raped, tortured, and murdered his 15-year-old daughter, vote at the creepoff.com. All right, folks. He's right.

You can vote at the creepoff. com. You can vote for my man Theo Gustafson or Josh Burgess at the creepoff. com. Carl,

I think I know what time it is. I think it's time for one of my favorite segments of the week. Hit it. I will. Hold on. I can't wait to see cause cop can

I like somebody in the cops for no reason will you please show me cause cop can lose all your rights ruin your life I like somebody in the chat said that Mike Creep just did it for the love of the game not for profit and money I win I agree I agree all right let's talk about Oh, my dude turned his passion into his job.

Let's talk about Carl's cop cam. Makes me question people who are like that. Okay. This video came in from Wham on the WATP Patreon. When you join our Patreon, you can message me directly and send me great suggestions like this one. A couple had reportedly stolen a car, and they drove that stolen car to Coles to do a little shopping. And that's where the police... Why would you shoplift from Coles?

They, like, give you everything by the time you get to the register. And that's where the police find these suspects in my clip number one. Okay, hold on. Clip number one. Action. On March 4th, 2023, officers in Illinois located a man and woman suspected of stealing a car. What's up, man? How much?

Me too. What the fuck is you guys doing? What the fuck is you guys? What the fuck is you guys? For what? I'm not doing, dude, I'm not trying shit. Look in the video. Dude, what the fuck are you guys talking about?

Dude, I don't got no fucking guys. Put your hands on your bed. Dude, I'm not. I'm not, dude. Check the fucking video. Stop persisting. Dude, you guys got the wrong person. a lot of innocent people when uh the police say the cop says hi sir could i talk to you for a second

and this motherfucker did a pose like the heisman trophy yes and just tried to sidestep and run and there's five police officers he wasn't going to get very far i don't know what he thought he was five cops for a stolen car and did you say this was chicago yeah in illinois yeah how about you fucking deal with the murder there's five cops for stolen car well these two might have have more going on than just a stolen car, Vinny. All right. So I like that the girlfriend just watched her boyfriend try to run from the police and get tackled down to the ground.

Uh-huh, uh-huh. And then watch her reaction to this. You know, my reaction would be if I watch them tackle my wife over something I did? Oh, my God. I would just be going. I would never stop laughing. I would just walk the other way with my hands behind my back. Well, then you have a very similar to reaction that this woman does.

Okay. Hey, Jasmine. Yeah, girl. For what? Out of the girl. On the ground. I'm going to, hands by your back. Now, now, you're in arrest.

You have warrants and a stolen car. No. 6'000. Don't move. Why am I stolen for what? You have a stolen vehicle and you have a warrant for your arrest. Don't fucking move, put your hands by your back. Why are you in here?

Because you're under arrest. I think Coles' base. I love how. Yeah, right. They think that they're safe because they're in a department store. I'm a little confused these two are that they're getting arrested. How are you not understanding what's happening right now? You're getting arrested. Do you hear your boyfriend screaming from across the way? You're both getting arrested.

What's interesting here is, and I think I figured this out, it's, you know, they said she has warrants out, so she's dealt with the cops. I'm sure that guy's dealt with the cops. Yeah. What we saw, that immediate flee reaction, muscle memory. You might be right. I just think it's really funny that she's watching her boyfriend attack. And then they're like, all right, Jasmine. She's like, what?

Me too? What do you mean? What's going on? I had no idea we were both getting arrested. He stole my grandpa's car that he said I could borrow. Yeah. Yeah, arrest him. So finally, my next clip here, the girlfriend realizes that this is not the effort that they should be trying.

Okay. Be, just a minute. It's fine. I'm not doing shit. I'm doing my kids so shit. Hello. They'll give you a chance to speak and tell us what's going on. I don't know what the fuck you do this.

Then you can tell us. I'm sure the fuck that he does. All right. So she's like, all right, stop resisting. The jig is up. I think they got us. I liked how he said he was suing. Did he say I'm suing?

Oh, yeah, dude. This gets nuts. He's like, this is unlawful. He keeps whining about it like a little bitch. And Minnie, what do we always tell these people? Let's say that you are innocent and that there is no reason for the police to arrest you. Figure that out in court. At this point, you're not going to win this trial in the Coles.

No, you are not. That is correct. It's not going to happen. These police officers are bringing you back to the station one way or another. So now they go through his pockets. That's never good. Yeah. Yeah.

That's some dope and all the talking about me. Really? Hey. You know, this is illegal. Fuck. Can you guys search the video cameras? We will. No, look at how you guys did me.

Come on. No, I didn't drive. No, fuck, I got no keys. I got no nothing. Well, you wouldn't have them. You have a screwdriver in your pocket. You got a thumb drive that you started the Kia with. No shit.

Is that your Kia soul that's overturned upside out of the parking lot? Jesus. It's my grandfather's. I swear to God, I'm just borrowing it. Kia's, I feel bad for anybody who's bought a key or a Hyundai after that shit, man. It's brutal. So you might have seen this. You might have not.

He pulled out a baggie with white powder in it from his pocket. The police later- It's your grandfather! Yeah, he's let me borrow his fentanyl. What's the big deal? They weren't sure if it was coke or fentanyl, but there's definitely any legal substance there. So this guy, he's not giving up on his hopes and dreams of being a free man.

And he explains, he ain't going nowhere. I still have some shopping to do. I'm not going. You got to just want to fucking kill me or something. I'm not going to. Chill out, man. I'm not going. Chill out.

I'm not going. I'm not missing this sale. Hey, calm down. I didn't have possession of no fucking vehicle. You guys don't understand this? So I guess he probably already dumped the car, so that's why he thinks he can get away with this shit. Okay, here's why I don't buy this. The vehicle probably is in the parking lot.

That's how they found them. I would imagine. Yeah, right. And secondly, what he's saying, and I think what he's saying, and I think what, he's trying to point out is you didn't catch me in the car correct i'm not in the car you can't prove possession well motherfucker maybe stop telling him to check the cameras which will probably show you getting out of it in the parking lot well that's the weird thing too is he thinks that he's going to get brought somewhere to go back and watch the footage like john madden watching an instant replay

and trying to figure out the defense that's not what we're doing this boom being a dirt bag yeah that's not what we're doing here well that's not a bad man i haven't heard uh him talking so long. I used to love playing the Madden football game, and it was just such a joy hearing the same thing over and over again from this guy. Receivers got to catch that ball. Thanks, John. Christian Blast says, can I pay for my bail with Coles cash? No, no, no, sir. We're taking you out of the Coles. We're removing you from the Coles back into reality. I'm sorry. Christian Blad is here. I was going to rip on Christian during my presentation. I was going to say the cooking segment on eunuchmaker.com is basically there.

Who are these broadcasters? Oh, damn! Shots fired right there. It wasn't as popular as the main event. Shots fired. By the way, I just noticed that 1-800 dabbler is also in the chat. Great work, my friend. Been promoting his channel the last week.

We're fans. All right, so Vinnie, we now get this guy. I think his name is Lee. We get Lee outside. We're taking him towards the cop car. What's his first name? Og. Oh, I'd see what you did.

That was actually too clever. So, Vinny, guess what? You'll never believe this. He can't breathe. Oh. One of these assholes. You didn't say it right.

Hey, Vita, guess what? He can't breathe. Can you believe that? Can you believe that? Can you believe that? We don't figure it out. I can't breathe. You're talking, you breathing.

Ah, man, they're fucking breathing. One. We have one, Enroll, you need to put me any one? I'm sorry, just, I'm sorry, just one. Stand up, come, man. I can still give my fucking stand up. Stand up. So this goes on for a while.

I'm just showing you some of the highlights here. This guy is claiming you can't breathe. They're like, you're yelling, I can't breathe. You're obviously breathing. That's how that works. You couldn't breathe. You wouldn't be able to talk. If I was a terrible person, I would name the episode this.

Floydian. Slift. If you're a person, you would show that on the screen. Oh, he has diabetes.

That's hysterical. All right. So it starts with the, oh my gosh, I can't breathe. Sounds like Johnny from Steeltoe.

Yes. He starts throwing Everybody says I suck. He starts throwing a temper tantrum. He needs to lie down on the ground and just start crying like a baby. He's all worked up, huh?

Yep. All right, cool. And stand up. All right, we'll stay there. Can I laid out of the foot, please? You're only on your side. There you go. Come on.

Am I listening to a jailhouse rape? What the fuck is that? This is like when you're not going to buy the toy for the kid. And so the kid just lays down. crying and you know you have to drag him out of the store they refuse to leave that's what this guy's doing right now he's throwing a top of him i'm not going to jail unless i get a GI Joe yep so so then they start going through his pockets he doesn't think they have the right to do this i disagree with that i believe that once you're under arrest they can rifle through your

pockets uh-huh we're going to get you some help no don't go through my pockets we're going to get you from your pockets i don't care Oh, boy. Oh, that's my fucking pills, asshole. Yeah, those are your pills, all right. Fuck. So they're finding more paraphernalia. And I love the thing where it's like, first you couldn't breathe.

And he's like, hey, wait, don't go through my pockets. I thought you couldn't breathe, sir. What's going on? Now you're more concerned about us going through your pockets. Would you mind not going through my pockets, gentlemen? I mean, yeah. So now he's going to start complaining. And again, I cut it out because it gets really annoying.

He starts listing off all the things that are wrong with them. Apparently, you saw how the police tackled him, broke multiple ribs, his wrists are broken. He can't breathe. So they have to call the paramedics to come over and load him onto a gurney and get him into the ambulance. Oh, God. This is brutal right here. You can have trouble breathing. A little bit of everything.

Broken wrist, broken ribs. We'll, uh, we'll, uh, we'll, uh, we'll get him a thing and take a look at them. Dude, prison rape was the right phrase for that. I don't know what kind of pain I could be in that would make noises like that. Like, let's say you do it broken around. I've had broken ribs before. It's uncomfortable when you fucking be crying like that. Like, I've broken a bone and it hurts at first.

Then you don't start screaming and crying for hours. No, you definitely do not. So then he gets into the ambulance and now they have to take the cuffs off and cuff him to the bed that he's on. Uh-huh. Does he try to run again? He doesn't. He's in way too much pain, Vinny, and I'm sure this is all totally real and not put out at all. Jesus.

My leg is shaking for no fucking reason. Ah, no. Oh, please do it. Ah, stop, stop. Stop. Stop. My hands. Your other hand's going to need to come unprone of you. I know. I'm not going to where I do it from.

I'm not doing nothing. It's all the pain. Geez, what a little cry baby. You're going to cry all day? Cry baby? You know, everyone has problems. It doesn't mean you have to be a little cry baby about it. Come on, guys.

Let's go. This kid is totally not cool. Yeah, that's the most uncool kid I've ever met. Little cry baby. What makes it better is that his girlfriend handled it way better than he did. His girlfriend was just like, all right. Yeah, you got us. And this guy's crying like a bitch the entire way to the ambulance or the hospital.

That, LeBron doesn't fly. around like that. I know. It's ridiculous. Like at a certain point, you're laying it on a little bit too thick. No one's believing you. Like these paramedics deal with people in pain all the time.

So Carl, that was a great, that was a great one. I loved that one. Yes, thank you to Wham for sending that in. I just wish there was more of a payoff. A lot of these they'll tell you at the end. You know,

something like he was brought to the hospital and found to have zero broken bones. But, uh, yeah, right, Dang Lizard. Thanks for the two euros.

Sounds like a customer of eunich maker. Yeah, a little bit. It really does. So I got bad news. Last week out of nowhere, we got a YouTube strike. Not really a strike, but like a warning. We did?

Yeah, you know what it was for? What? The music that we use underneath our Syracuse beds. No shit. No shit. They finally caught up to us, huh? Yeah. So here is our new musicless Syracuse bed.

Okay. Drop. And I'm sorry, guys. It was more fun with the music. The creep-off voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse. Happy Mother's Day to all who celebrated. Remember, just like Halloween is discounted candy the next day, make sure you stop by the Syracuse Mall for deep discounts on mustache wax and cold sore cream.

See you in Syracuse. Happy Mother's Day. Yeah, Vinnie, I can find music for us that we can use. I didn't realize that that was copyrighted music. I didn't think it was either. I was just very surprised by it, so I didn't put it in this week. All right. All right, Carl, let's hit some voicemails.

without doxying anyone then a yes i fucking love you dude steady joe from iowa here um so i've been sitting on something that i only feel like belongs on the creep off least on the set and that is an eagle's jersey of o one michael vick i don't know i can't bring myself the word out in public but i've come to decide if you promise me you hang it up on the set of the creep off i will send that shit to you because it just feels like it belongs there thank you fuck goodbye you can call me that act though bany wendy yes we'll definitely get the the vick jersey up here oh i'll make carl wear it yes and i like the eagles too because he played for the eagles after everyone know that he murdered and tortured dogs my favorite thing ever was for i believe two seasons

They blocked on the NFL website merchandise from the Atlanta Falcons while he was in prison. Okay. People were buying and going to getting the custom jerseys. They were getting number seven with the last name Mexico. Oh, right. Yes. This is a fake day was Ron Mexico. Yes.

And that's the jersey I want. I want the Atlanta Falcons number seven Mexico jersey. That's the fucking one I want. But that is pretty damn good. We'll take it. We'll slap it up there somewhere. Eagles Vick is better because people will know what the fuck it is. Yeah.

Wow. That's true. that is true all right next voice mail hello boys evan from flint calling in with the hackamania punishment idea call it nobody likes onions with blue cheese loser has to perform bob levy's closing act on patrick melton carl will probably enjoy it so much he'll do stuff shows closer to i love you call me back that's ridiculous oh man callback curtis is here hey callback curtis i don't have any joke or bit i just want to say you guys are really killing it and my favorite scum parade stories are the failed peeping tom recording device stories because i mean i'd still have encoding my friends the bucket with a hole

in it on the bed story so this one this one made me laugh really fucking hard thanks all right fuck me bye thanks kentz thanks buddy appreciate it now uh here a couple consequence ideas for the Vegas show coming up. Hey, I've got a few ideas for creep-off consequences for Las Vegas, for creep-off live. They're all available to do on Sunday and within a mile of the venue. A loser has to dress up as a showgirl and go out and take pictures with tourists until you earn 20 bucks. Or you could jump off the top of the stratosphere on the sky jump attraction.

about a half mile from the venue, you could go to the Clark County Detention Center and have visitation with Chili DeCastro. Or if Vinny's the loser, he could head over to the Heart Attack Grill where you have to get on a scale outside to see if you weigh 350 pounds and eat free. See you in Las Vegas.

I love the Chili to Castro idea. I wonder if you can do that. Maybe it's too big a celebrity. I don't know. Yeah, I don't think you can just walk in and say, hey, go get Chili DeCastro out from his celebrating about it. We had to schedule ahead of time, I'm sure. Yeah.

But that's an interesting idea. Chris Popkey says, Wheel of Cots Quetz, drive to flit and drink a glass of tap water. That's funny. All right. I think they figured that out at this point. That was a little while ago. I'll have to ask Nate.

Okay, so listen, somebody left us a really long voicemail about something that I do want to talk about real quick. So if it gets boring, I'm going to turn it off. I haven't heard this yet because it just gave Ed, but I could see what it's for. My favorite part of the bonus episode has got to be. how when Hulk gets home, he takes off the bandana and he's just a man. There's no pictures of him in his house. Bullshit. I guarantee he has a picture of him holding up a championship belt right at his door,

so when he opens his door, he can watch you, watch his picture. And then he breaks that awkward silence like, oh, that thing, I just, brother, I just keep it there to keep me humble, because that night that I got that belt, the president called me and he said, Hulk, al-Qaeda is attacking our secret ocean base that's got the cure for cancer and the work. And we need you to hop on thunder and go out there and save the day. And I said, Mr. President,

in just two hours macho man, Randy Savage is getting in that ring and the world is counting on me to stop him because I'm the only one. And every once in a while, I think to myself, then I make the right choice and then I climb in that ring and I see

all those little Hulk-Maniac's eyes light up and I know. I did the right thing. Now, take my hands and let's say a prayer. And then he dimmed the lights and plays Holkster in heaven. That's exactly how his fucking house is. Thank you. Fuck you. Bye.

So that has to do with the bonus show we did. Last Friday, we watched our pal Hulk Hogan, the guy who we love the most on this show. On the 700 Club. He really is a piece of shit. Now that he's trying. Yeah. Now it's so hard. I don't know if he got

the idea from Trump or vice versa. But apparently it's like, you know, these Christians have deep pockets and they'll buy anything with shit about God on it. Listen, I don't want to spoil anything. You have to go and watch this one. It's phenomenal. But there is a scene that the 700 Club shows they're talking over it. Hulk is known around the world as being this big muscle strong man.

But here, a few miles away from his clear water gift shop and restaurant, he gave his life in public baptism. And they're talking about his restaurant while they're showing him being water baptized in a church. church oh god that was it's brutal it's unbelievable and then they did the interview inside of his gift shop it's pretty wild so i'm with you that might be my favorite part too oh since we were talking about consequences real quick camera who sent this to us might have been Alex but uh an idea for a consequence in Vegas loser has to wear this t-shirt all day on Sunday the shirt says I'm sorry I'm late I'm gay and I was having gay sex so we'd have to buy those in advance and have them ready to go.

Correct, yes. Maybe we make your sister-in-law make them for us, so we have them ready. We could do that. We could definitely do that. Maybe that's the consequence. Loser has to spend all day, Sunday wearing that shirt. Yeah. I think that's fun.

Oh, no. I was going to go see Penn and Teller. I don't want to wear that to go see Petit and Taller. You get to go meet them afterwards. I didn't even know you were late there, sir. Nice to meet you. It was very, very late. all the gay sex I was having.

Carl, those are our voice smells this week, unless you have any more. Nope, that's all we got. All right, folks. Thank you so much for calling in. Let's hit up a couple more super chats. Yeah, I think we missed a couple there. Great show.

This is from Punch Draw 499. Great show. Any thoughts on today's big announcement? April is ditching the toe, Wawa. What? That was the big announcement today? I thought she'd already quit. Well, it's been a rumor.

but Aaron's acting like they're still together and everything's fine so I don't know I didn't catch up on NLO you today are they say that she ditched the show or that she ditched him in general ditch the toe I don't know but if that's the case then I'll give you one of these

I probably keep that for Cardiff's joke thanks to the somehow the Minnesota in 279 did you wash your ash today home run call me a home run Run. So programming, no. Tonight, Carl and I are going to be recording an episode with our buddy Dick and Sean at

The Dick Show. Yeah, we're going to do the Dick show tonight. Usually, we were supposed to do it yesterday. And then Dick's like, oh, it's Mother's Day. So we're recording Monday night. So Vinny and I will be doing a fun little scum parade over on the Dick show like we like we like to do every now and again. And also, that means that subreddit surfing is moving to tomorrow night in case anybody

cared. And are we able to hear it this time? or how's that going to work? Oh, can I tell you why I'm mad at you, Vinny? Yeah, because the episode. And Cardiff, too. So I get a note because I have people out there checking out for a cringe of the week for me. And I get a note from someone who says, Carl, I got a great cringe of the week,

subred it's surfing, especially the 39 minute mark. So I go over onto YouTube, like, oh, yeah, let's find this separate. Huh, they haven't put on a new episode in eight days. What's this all about? I mess with my buddy, Vinny, where's the new suburb of surfing? What happened to it? No response. So I'm pissed to you.

That would have been content for my show. Okay, so here's the deal. I will give it to you. It's no problem. You could have it. We took that episode. It was a technological trade wreck. Cardiff was fucked up.

I was pounding tequila. We were a disaster on that show on Monday. You guys got drunk on the show? I was drinking a little bit. I didn't know that. I was drinking a little bit. Okay. And what ended up happening was, we decided we're just like, this was a mess because we couldn't,

our stuff was buffering on both sides so badly. We could not hold a conversation. So it was so fucking fucked out That we were just like You know what? This is comical People watching this would enjoy this So we threw it up on our Patreon

At subreddit surfing.com You could watch it there It's there if you remember The Subreddit Surfing channel You could watch it Gotcha okay We really fucking sucked that one up All right

So it's there Just not for you Uh right Vinny is cheating He pays dabblers to vote for him Do not Yes, Carl's Frost and tips I think you're right about that

I'm gonna be like John to start agreeing with that I see in the in the chat. Yeah, he is paying for votes. I know you'll agree with this one. John, you're a drunk driver and your son is a chick. Yes. I believe those things are pretty true.

Sure, he wouldn't care for those words. Nope, probably not. I hear he's coming to Las Vegas to see some friends. You think he's going to stop by the show. God, these stupid threats are so boring. John is a fucking human rerun. This guy was over the weekend tweeting about talking to an attorney because I was saying that he was driving drunk

and that could ruin his reputation his reputation. I'm going to apply the Lenny Dykstra rule. Yeah, I'm going to put the Dykstra rule on this one, John. The reason why you're not getting hired by anyone in Hollywood is because of your YouTube show, not because of mine. All right? Jesus Christ.

But your YouTube show made other people see what my YouTube show was. Yeah, that's true. That is a good point. Therefore, you have, you have piecematched me. So, yeah, so then after saying that he's going to sue me or whatever, then the next thing is I'm going to go to Vegas to visit my friends. Please come, John. We'd love to see you in Vegas.

I'm sure it'll go really well for you. In fact, I'll hire a fucking band or a karaoke machine or something and we'll give you a take two at the doors. Come up on stage. Where are you doing karaoke Friday night? John, come down to karaoke. You said you had a cold. Maybe you could do a better job next time. John, don't come to karaoke.

I don't want to look at your dumb face. Okay. And I Ugh He's such an idiot All right Manchester New Hampshire

It's time for a skum parade Let's go Scum parade Take me on a raid Of these fucksher raids That these creeps have made Scum parade Vinny and Carl

Gonna tell you about some fuck shit Scum parade Like stories of a kid Fucked by his mom or dad Soaking up the blood of a cat, Skull Parade Watch out for the Skum Parade Oh no, it's a Skum Parade Look out for the Skum Parade

Making Vinny's Day Is day Yes, that is correct, Chris. That song does have mandolin on it played by the great Gene Wien, Aaron Freeman. That is true. That is a mandolin. Carl, as I teased, Manchester, New Hampshire. There was a situation in a public park recently.

Yes, there sure was. There was an 18-year-old man and a woman with her young child, and they were fighting and arguing in the park, according to witnesses. Now, it comes out after these two did not know each other, but there was a bit of an argument, and the woman took her daughter into, the porta potty to help her use the restroom. Okay. At which point

this 18 year old man pushed it over so that it landed on the door. I have to say that that is the funniest way to win an argument ever. There isn't a funnier way to win an argument. Yeah. And like if you're at the middle of an argument, never piece of advice, never say, excuse me, I'll

be the porta potty. Right. You're just setting yourself up for that. I'll be in this typical shit machine over here if you want to have words later. You know what? A victim blame Oh, I'm sorry, but You brought this on yourself

It's all I'm saying. This kid, so this little girl Yeah Is going to have a crazy fear of porta potty's For the rest of her life I really hope she doesn't like music festivals When she grows up That'll be very traumatic for her

That's the worst She's never going to be able to go and enjoy a music festival Without dropping to the ground Of the fetal position and shaking remembering brown Saturday Brown Saturday That's a YouTube song Yeah

It's better than a YouTube song Fucking YouTube So bystanders ran over And overturned the toilet Freeing the woman in the child Who reported Being covered Hold on a second

This is another part of the story I can't wrap my head around Bystanders came over And tipped this over So they could get out of the door I would never stop laughing Long enough to be able to do that They didn't say how long it took

It might have been hours later when the laughter died out. I've been doubled over laughing. It's just like, okay, no, no, I'm going to help you. I swear to God. Give me a second. You got to give you a second. When you say that, you're actually right. It's amazing they got out at all because every new person who comes to the scene would

immediately start laughing. And you're just going to be waiting forever for people to stop laughing. You know what the worst part about that happening to you is? Is that the women and the children were not hurt? No, the worst part is this. Shee. That's the worst part. part you know carl i might actually have some audio of uh the porta potty going over i got

splot oh gosh and that was me laughing after it after one over oh god all right so the women and children child were not hurt the man was arrested in charge with criminal mischief and criminal restraint i guess it's technically criminal restraint because they couldn't get out he was also charged with jack assery it's a very serious charge these parts. It was not immediately known if the 18-year-old who pushed the porta-pottie over in the park as a lawyer or not, but

he's under arrest. Carl, Oklahoma City. I actually need to pull up. I forgot to pull up a picture of this girl. Okay. Vamp for me for a second. A man from France is accused of stalking famous Oklahoman ventriloquist, Darcy

Lynn Farmer. Now, when I saw this, I said, if you have to put the word famous in the sentence, that means she's not that famous. I've never heard of So she's AGT, bro. So I looked this up because I had never heard of her. I go, what do mean she's a famous ventriloquist? That's that oxymoron right there. Yeah. And then lo and behold, she won a season of America's Got Talent for doing the stupid ventriloquist act. Yeah, she's no, she's no Jeff Dunham either. No. That's saying something. No, she's not

just his favorite comic. Yeah. She doesn't have big fans. Well, actually she does. According to the affidavit, a man named Jose Riba admitted in an interview with police that he arrived in the United States on May 1st with the sole intent of trying to meet Darcy Farmer. On May 2nd, Darcy performed at the Riverwind Casino in Norman, where she and her parents

reported seeing Ryba taking photos and leaving a red gift bag for her. On May 4th, officers were dispatched to a security checkpoint where Darcy's father said a suspicious male stalker was trying to get into their gated community. They live in a gated community? Well, yeah, they got a famous

AGT winner in the house. Does she really make money doing this? She's like playing a casinos and stuff. Yes, she makes money. Okay. Dude, she probably... She's not a millionaire. I don't think she...

Well, maybe she is a millionaire these days. But she's got gigs. When you're in that circuit and you have representation for that, who's in fucking casinos? Fucking losers who watch AGT. Maybe. If you put them in the right casinos, but whatever. Either way, police spoke with the guard booth who said Ribad requested to be led in to see the Farmer family for 10 minutes.

Let me just, let me in for 10 minutes. I just want to, you know, rape and kid. I mean, visit Darcy Lund Farber. Yeah, sir, 15 is going to be too far, though, okay? So let's keep it 10. The family said they've been getting phone calls from a French number two weeks before Darcy's performance at that casino. On May 5th, Ryba went to the family's church. That's a good place to try to meet Darcy.

That's a good place to stalk people. He approached Darcy's father. All are welcome. Asked to speak with her. That's what he was taken into custody by police. Now, he admitted paying for Darcy's personal information on the internet, which included family phone numbers and her address. Okay.

So wait a second. Apparently, you can get paid by people for giving out people's phone numbers and addresses. Yeah. So is that why John's been bragging about how much money he has lately? It must be because he's given him out left and fucking right. That must be it. I didn't realize that Doxie was so profitable. That's interesting.

Here's the part that made me laugh here. He said he's been scammed several times by people impersonating Darcy. Oh, that's hilarious. He has lost upwards of $10,000 according to the affidavit. What a loser. And he's finally like, oh, I guess I just better go to America and meet her myself. He's talking. He's stalking impersonators.

What a fucking loser. I'm telling you. Carl, you want to talk about another loser? Yeah. A streamer on YouTube this past week. A YouTuber. Is in a bit of trouble. Okay.

This woman who goes by VP, I also do as well. On the popular video sharing platform frequently live streams with viewers on Reddit, the VP stands for a vegan patriot. Ugh. She describes her own channel is showcasing, consistent drug use, and peeing in alleys. Fun. So as you can imagine, she's a lot of fun. Yeah.

So she's smoking weed. and she's peeing outdoors. Yeah. Now, however, things took a serious turn after VP was driving, filming herself smoking cannabis while driving. Sure. And you know what, I'll tell you what, Carl,

I'll just show you the video. What do you say we watched the video from YouTube? Sounds good. Because I can't believe this hasn't happened to Elisa Jordana yet, to be honest with you. This is exactly right. Yeah. He does hear those voices.

They're not fake. But I wonder. She just hit something She stops Oh my God, are you okay No, what the fuck did you do? I didn't see her Why are you not looking?

I was looking, I didn't see you What the fuck? She hit a woman with her fucking car Well, she's so to driving around streaming Talking about her boyfriend hearing voices She just Hit a pedestrian with her car And by the way, the biggest problem

I am with this is the angle she's using for her camera. That's not a flattering angle coming up from your lap. Can you look at Lorette Silvermember in the chat real quick? I don't know this is true or not, but Loretta Cember says, I watch that live. She's terrible. She smokes meth next to people's food orders.

What? There's no way that's true, is there? What? That's fun. Let's talk about meth, baby. Let's talk about a yes-a-ree. Let's talk about all the bad things and the bad things meth and see. Let's talk about meth.

so she hits this woman with her car she's saying people are screaming what the fuck did you do and she goes I didn't see her I was looking and she goes why weren't you looking why aren't you paying attention she was looking I didn't see you

I'm telling you I did not see you wasn't being distracted by her screen that we could see do I want to watch again should we watch us again she looks like she's watching where she's driving but I wonder

that's a big like she rolled over someone Oh my God, are you okay? No. No, I'm not okay. Are you okay? No. You just ran over me with your car, ma'am.

I'm not okay. Good God. So close at her door. She goes to pull over and people are still screaming at her. We don't need to watch the rest of the video. It's pretty lame. It's fine. She actually does the right thing.

She gets out of her car. She wants to help. People are not happy with her. But she didn't hit and run or anything like that. She actually has not been charged with anything. I just tell you this, but it's common. If this is what it takes to be a famous YouTuber,

it's getting too competitive for me. I am not willing to just start hitting pedestrians in my car as I drive around YouTubeing. So as the chat filled up with questions regarding the head, VP claimed the police let her go. Yes. Quote, I'm blessed because I decided not to be a piece of shit,

she said. The cop literally told me, just so you know, I know how hard that was. Do you know how many hit and runs we have out here? So she's getting fucking. stone and driving hits a woman and she's the hero right you're not supposed to hit right she's made for fucking youtube the police officers commending her on that doesn't make any fucking sense she also

alleged a pedestrian that had been hit was quote fine and that she wasn't worried about being sued due to having insurance well when you are filming yourself smoking weed and broadcasting and driving well it happens yeah see how much your insurance covers honey yeah good luck with that Jesus Christ Weed is legal in California Driving on weed is not I'm pretty sure That is correct

Carl Memphis Tennessee boy You know who else likes to smoke weed And then go drive in California Anyway moving on That's enough of that I don't want to start making accusations He said it himself He hit the

Hit the vape The only thing I know Listen I'm just gonna cover myself here Yep The only thing that I know That particular person is guilty of is having a terrible party fucking up a keychain order

writing shit on a bathroom wall in Stevie Tomatoes and not being able to hit the high notes not being able to hit the high notes in karaoke and looking like a sloppy mess I don't know if he drove anywhere or not all right I'll show you the video after

all right moving on There's a video of him driving Oh yeah I have it He really drove He always brags about how he takes an Uber Did he really drive? He should have taken an Uber I video of him getting in his car

and driving away from He's gonna sue you From sagebrush, yeah. And he's going to sue. That's what's so funny about this. Fucking the guy with the beer. Yeah, no shit. I responded to it.

And I go, all right, John, I guess I'll have to release the video. That's he what to do. Right there, pal. Right there, pal. Release the video. Absolutely released that video. Whatever the fuck it is, he does. What a retard.

God damn it. Let's go to Tennessee. All right, this is a sad story. This man was lied to, Carl. He sure was. That's the worst time, too, to get robbed when you think something good's about to happen. Yeah. 26-year-old woman is in custody had suspicion of failing a man.

On Monday, May 6th, approximately 7.46 in the morning, officers with the Memphis Police Department found a dead man gunshot victim. He was pronounced dead at the scene. Police said they obtained footage from the air revealing a person of interest. Now, local TV released the footage. and a woman decided to nark on her daughter Kenyatta Hayes. She sees, she's like, that's my daughter Kenyatta. Yep. So she takes Kenyatta, 26-year-old, down to the police station, says, well, this is her.

Just fucking rats out her daughter, brings her to the cops. Good job, mom. Mom of the year right there. Well, she didn't raise her fucking daughter right to begin her, because listen to this shit. She takes her to the cops. She's being charged of first-degree murder and perpetration of a robbery. Hayes confessed, told officers the man allegedly offered to pay her $60 for oral sex at a gas station. Hold on a second. If you're paying $60 for a blowjob at a marathon at 7.30 in the morning.

You're overpaying. You got to start lower than that, man. That's a bad negotiation right there. It is morning rates, though. Morning rates are better. How do you know? A friend told an older boy told me. How much did the older boy told you who's charging? A 35, I think, is a good place to start. Okay. So $60 for oral sex at a marathon gas station. Hayes reportedly went with the man to a park under the false pretense that she was going to engage in the sexual act. Okay.

But instead, she robbed and shot him. And then she took the cash, then fled the seed, and then spent $47 on two hot wing combos for herself and her boyfriend. So Vinnie's reading this. He's like, okay, so she was hungry. Like, of course she's going to murder the guy and take his money. I don't see what the problem is here. Dude, you know how fucked up that is? You're the guy who's now dead so this motherfucker and her boyfriend can laugh about you being dead and how they got chicken wings out of it.

Oh, or some hot wings. You're dead so this bitch could get her boyfriend wings. Well, then the TV station reports that Hayes told police she was thirsty for money. Sounds like you were hungry for food. Not thirsty for money. I think that's a combo platter, my man. Dude, this poor guy, Dwyer, Christensen nailed it. Everyone in heaven can't stop laughing at him.

Oh, I know, right? He's just like, oh, that's the guy who thought he was getting a blow job. Get over here, buddy. Dude, we saw that coming from up here. Glad you're glad you're here. But come, I'm like an idiot. Don't you on to laugh at yourself. Right.

Right. So Hayes also said she was thirsty for buddy. She remains held in the Shelby County jail and is scheduled to appear in court on this week sometime. Folks, guess what time it is? It's time to finish up our super chats, I believe. leave. And we are celebrating Super Chat Monday. We appreciate that. I think it's higher.

There it is. Carl's Frost's Tips, the $1.99. Carl, I got the evidence now, and you're going to jail. That's right. I think I just incriminated myself. Carl's Frost and Tips, thanks for the $1.9. Night put the evidence of the car. Todd's Girl, thanks for $1.99. When is DabbleCon asking for a stuttering friend? August 16th and 17th?

August 16th and 17th and I was watching Uncle Rico last night. They had Anthony Kumi on there and Shulie made a mention near the end of the show. He's like, yeah, I got to call Carl tomorrow and figure out damn. Maybe you and I can give him a ring after the show and get that figured out. Yeah, maybe. Because we got to get tickets. We got to make tickets available. We do.

That's coming up. That'd be pretty good. Space Age hamburger, thanks for the 99. Why does Vinny riders take 15 minutes and Karen's only take five like a gentleman? Why do Vinny riders take 15 minutes? Why does Vinny? What does this mean? I don't know.

But thank you for the $10. Thank you to Space Age hamburger. I'm sorry. I'm not understanding this. Maybe I'm the idiot. Michael C. VP, Vinnie Paulino. Technically. If you want to be technical.

Vinny has a better chance of being the pedestrian getting hit by a car. He's not that agile. Yeah, it's hard. I'm very agile. I'm shockingly agile for a fat guy. I could super kick you in the face. All right. Well, we'll see what I'm trying to hit you after we leave here.

And I dive out of the way. artfully. All right folks, it's time for Carl to spin the wheel. Woo! Carl, stay there. Let's go over these. Let's go over them real quick. Okay. Wheel of consequences. Number one, winner's choice. Now, I've thought about this. If you lose, which one of these do I want to make Carl do? Well, there's the Haugeman book report.

There's I win all the Patreon and Superchat money, which is pretty good. Yeah, the way that works, since we've had that happen before. Yeah, I want a lot of money is the other person gets all the money because we split everything 50-50 on the show the other person gets all the money until the other person wins again yep so that can get brutal and i want a couple rounds i think you waited like a good four or five buds it wasn't great so there's the uh patreon super money there is the tom mire's stand-up marathon which now tom mires has what four full-ranked albums of stand-up and you get to listen to all of them in a row yeah brutal you could live stream it if you want that one would be probably a good

stream for sure uh number five go to a mormon church number six one hundred dollars the podcast hitman yeah i owe him a note too i feel bad for that guy so lonely and bored gives a fuck number seven you have to watch a gummo which is looks disgusting and number eight past the spin so eight is what i want eight is what i want i definitely don't want number one carl come on down Let's go and spin that wheel. Come on down, Carl. This is where we need the wheel. Da-da-da.

We need some good wheel-muse spinning music. We need a wheel of consequences jingle, folks. We're going to need that. Somebody help me out. Mr. Magenta, somebody out there. All right. Carl, spin that wheel. It's got to go all the way around one time.

That's not a real rule. Yes, it is. Number two, ladies and gentlemen, he is doing the Haugamann book report. Helga Man book report for Carl. 500 words at least. 1,000 words. Okay, 2,000 words. You got it, guys.

2,000 word book report on Helga Man's book. All right, Adam Thoreau sent me Helga's book already. I have it. What's it called? The Red Book, but R-E-A-D. Nobody's read it. That's the most ironic title in the history. It's a weird one.

So we'll find out what it's all about, and I'll report back to you, my friend. Oh, man. Carl's Frosted tipsakes for the $1.99. Consequences should be smell John's socks. I mean, sir, within reason here. This is crazy. All right. Carl, good show. Remember folks voted the creepoff.com.

We'll be back on Friday with a brand new bonus episode. Tonight, keep an eye out this week for the Dick Show. Carl and I will be making an appearance. We always have a lot of fun with that. And until next time, it's nice to be important. Hold on. Chris Popkey came in at the last minute here. It was right there. I didn't see it.

Happy Mother's Day hashtag free chili de Castro. Free chili to Castro. It's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. Gagia. A something. Sorry, three off. Fucking thing sucks.

You're sorry but You brought this on yourself I'm sorry but I'm sorry but You sort of deserve this You fucking know all about this shit This dude is fucking corny Danny, were you still here?

what's distracting than usual weird all right good show pal rest easy you sort of deserve