The Creep Off - Episode 230: Is This Justice?

Episode Date: September 16, 2024

This week, Karl and Vinnie kick off a new round by nominating the creepiest high school football coach. Instead of a cop cam video, Karl surprises us all and reads us his report on Helga Mann's book, "Little Red Book." In the Scum Parade, we learn about a mysterious prankster in a dollar store, meet an unsuccessful canine Romeo, and encounter a man who made a cucumber disappear. And to top it all off, we spin the Wheel of Consequences twice for the very first time!The score is currently Vinnie 0 - Karl 0, visit thecreepoff.com to vote and decide this week’s winnerCheck out the Scum Parade stories: Candles filled with urine spill on 9-year-old at Indiana Dollar Tree (turnto10.com)Man accused of trying to sexually assault dog (wfsb.com)Man with cucumber wanted for performing sex act on himself in public in DC (dcnewsnow.com)Former teacher and robotics team coach sentenced for secretly recording minors in bathrooms (truecrimenews.com)Want to support the show? Find us on Patreon, Supercast & Backed.by to get exclusive merch an extra bonus episode every week! Don’t forget you can leave us a voicemail at 585-371-8108You can follow our Results girl Danni on Instagram @Danni_Desolation

Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation. Horror, shock. I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive and I'm not backing down. Cuckoo, coo. Full speed ahead.

The Disgusting Vomot-inducing thing Ola Creepos Welcome to another episode of your favorite true crime podcast the show about creeps by creeps for you creeps. I'm your host. My name is Vinny, and all I have to say today is exaltior.

True believers. Joining me, as always, it's my co-host, Hot Cucca Carla. What is happening, Vinnie Paulino? Happy Monday to you. Happy Super Chat Monday to you, my friend. It is a beautiful Super Chat Monday. It is. Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the creep-off.

We had a great one last week. We did. We did creepiest car sales I brought in a much better, more compelling argument than you did. It was very obvious. And I'm sure the voting will reflect that because the score as it stands right now is 4 to 0, which means that if Vinny won the vote from last week and you vote on the creepoff.com, it means that he wins the round.

It would get him to 5. And I believe that would be the first ever shut out in a round of the creepoff. Is that correct, Vinny? No, it would be the second. No, you've done this before? Yeah, you shut me out. Oh, that's right. I shut you out.

That's right. I remember that. I went out a nice run for a little while there. Yeah, you did because people tried to be malicious towards me and hurt my feelings. Did it work? No. Yes, it did. No.

You cry yourself to sleep. I cry myself to that. I still do the show. I didn't run away going, uh, uh, that's true. I know. I learned my lesson. You got taught many lessons when you tried to work with one, uh, centering John Melendez. Yep.

Don't overestimate your own ability to keep things smooth and running nicely. There was just no victory in that for anyone involved. Nope. No chance of a win. no but uh see i'm looking at this and i will go ahead and tell you this carl before we even bring in our results girl today okay i fucking loved your creep last week i think it was one of the best ones you've done in a very very long time i enjoyed it as well that shit you fucking hit it your presentation was good i laughed harder than i laughed at a long time just

thinking about this fucking sleazy car salesman but you know i see people like mechanical ape in the chat here saying things like I voted for Vinny, but only because I want to see the sweep. Not a good reason to vote, by the way. You're supposed to vote on who brought the biggest creep. This is as good as any other reason. Each week, that's really what you're supposed to be doing. It's as good as any other reason, Carl.

So, I don't know. Is Carl going to spend today? There's only one way we're going to find out. We've got to ask our results, girl. So one person who knows my fate, and that's our girl, Danny. Danny, Danny, read in results, oh, dandy. Please won't you post that fanny all over the Patreon. Danny Danny that body's so uncanny voice moved like lamb and shandy oh yeah she's my creep girl

what's up guys hi happening danny how you doing good how are you all well you made a big announcement last week the announcement that you're pregnant and uh i know you have a lot of fans on instagram do you get any words of encouragement any notes from people oh yeah yeah people were you know congratulating and stuff it was really sweet that's not what i told them to do i sent her a dollar donation wink it's a terrible joke sorry daddy i see what you're doing there it might be past that time at this point the states get to vote i learned to move down from that so uh how do you feel you do it all right dad yeah feel pretty good for the most part it's been like the easiest pregnancy i think i've had ever well that's great because no one wants to hear a pregnant woman

complain so that works out really well for all of us And that's why you're one at a million, Danny, because you're not complaining. That's right. God bless you for it. So I guess the real question is not how this baby's doing. No, it's the size of your fun bags now. Have they gotten a lot larger, just a little bit larger? Oh, do you want to talk about results?

I'm sorry. I got sidetracked for just a second there. We should probably talk about the results from last week, the voting. Yeah, maybe. Okay. Okay. Okay, so Danny, who won? Okay, well, I did want to give a special happy birthday to Alex, the Oracle's grandfather before we start.

Ah, yes, 100. Wild, congrats. And a World War II vet, a great man. Happy birthday. Well, now that that's out of the way. Alex does a ton for the show behind the scenes. It's one of our producers. And so props to Alex and everything that he does.

Thank you, buddy. Yeah, we love Alex. He does so much to help us keep things moving. He keeps track of all of our scores. He keeps track of the creeps for me every week. That's true. Yeah, he does a lot of little things. A lot of little things so we know not to, like, repeat.

He's the best. He updates the page with all of the creeps that we've ever brought and who won and what the voting count was. And you know what's even better than that? What's better than that? His grandpa made it to 100. That is amazing. Yeah, we didn't even wish him happy birthday.

We were wishing his grandpa happy birthday. Yeah, well, did he turn 100? He gives a shit. Good point. Okay, so how much bigger did your boobs get? Thank you. Let's get to it. Let's get to it. Come on.

Who won last week, Danny? God damn it? Yeah. Okay, for category of the creepiest car salesman, it was so close to 54% of the vote. Vinnie has won, once again. The numbers. All right.

And this is a huge deal that's going down right before our very eyes here. The numbers don't lie. And they spell a disaster for you. All right. Can I make a statement? Can I make my statement real quick? Okay. Okay.

Listen, I did not do well this round. I deserve to lose this. this round. I'm not going to argue with the results. Whoa. I will say this. I received more votes this week than either of us has this entire round and I lost.

It's basically like when Biden got 5 million more votes than Obama did. How is that possible? What does that mean? Well, it's only because I went to the nursing home. Yeah. And I grabbed all these old ladies. I made them vote. There's cheating going on. It's mail and ballots. I don't know what's going on. There's cheating going on.

Our system's not working. It's failing us. This was definitely cheating that got you to win. Can we put our voting back on something that you have to log into? It's the only way to make it fair. And people can make stock accounts, but it's much more difficult than the VPN. Dude, people voted for me this time because they wanted to see the sweep and they wanted to fuck you over. It's not because of... We wouldn't have gotten hundreds more votes than usual.

You know that, Vinny. You know there was cheating involved this week. But we've been getting the average. Alex didn't respond back to you to tell you if that was the case. You're assuming that. No, he did get back to me. He did. What did he say?

I did. Did he email me this email? I don't know. I don't know if he replied all. I'm not paying attention to that. I'm not even. Oh, I want to know about this email you supposed to have. Where's your smoking gut email, Carl?

I wasn't trying to start a fight. I wasn't trying to start to fight. I'm telling you, there's cheating going on. It's obvious. Thank you. Oopalupo, Bob. He wants to recount. I want to recount, but it's okay.

Listen, I'm going to, I'm going to leave the White House. You know, I'm not going to cause a stink or a stir. I just want to. Fixed for next time. I'll tell you what, Carl. I'll tell you what, Carl. I'll tell you what. I feel like people voted for me to fuck you over.

And I don't necessarily care for when people do that. I don't think that the voting was necessarily the problem. We had to do a very good job of weaning out fake votes and stuff like that. We do a good job at it. So we don't have this problem all the time. You're very upset. No, I'm not. You're very upset.

What to make you feel better if I told you. the one who got all uh loud all of a sudden you seem you seem upset i'm not upset you know man it's fine we just need to fix it we just need to fix it that's so thin skin all right now no no no no you don't want to have a conversation you don't want to have a civil conversation with me right now we won't i'm having to what are you talking about it's right in a civil conversation with you i was trying to was i not being civil i really thought i was being civil viny you didn't get get a huge groundswell of support for you out of nowhere just because people wanted to see you sweep That's not why this happened.

No, it's not that they wanted to see me sweep. It's when they wanted to see you spin. You see. All right. That's the difference. But here's the deal, man. Danny, you're a results, girl. What do you think about these results?

I thought your creep was better. I know it was. So here's what I, you have to let me get to my point. I shut up. I was going to advocate the point to you, but you just told me to shut up. What do you think about these results, Danny? They seem fishy to you? I'm not cool with cheating.

Like, I hope, is that seriously a thing that's been happening? I know. Not really. No. It doesn't really happen. Carl is, like, upset this week because it's going to make him spin. And the thought of you doing the double consequence and your creep was so good, I think it was like a combo of those things that made people want to either cheat or more people vote.

Okay, okay, there you go. Thank you. All right. So here's what I'm going to tell you, do. What are you going to tell me? I am going to, in the interest of fairness, I will advocate the point. I will not make you spin today. No.

That's not what I'm asking for. Because I'm never going to hear the end of it. No, that's not true at all. I just want a solution to fix it for the future. You're doing the exact opposite. Vinny doesn't listen to me. Have you noticed that, Danny? Try to have a civil conversation with a guy and his solution.

I'm not advocating for. I'm not asking for. I'm trying to help you. You're not helping. I'm spinning today, Vinny. When the vote comes in, if we decide that's the vote, that's the vote, we can't just go against it. That would fuck up all the integrity of the whole sport. Okay.

Well, I mean, you're sitting here telling me that there's no other explanation. than cheating. So I don't want to take a point if it's cheating. I don't want to fucking make you spend if it's cheating. Oh, Jesus. What are you the victim now? What the fuck? I'm just trying to be a good guy watching Aaron Imahole.

You're trying to manipulate me now? No, I'm just trying to help you. Well, you know what? I shouldn't have brought it up on the show. We'll talk about it off air. We'll discuss this. Well, maybe now you just realize why sandbagged you so hard. See, this is what's weird.

You could have just talked to me about it earlier. This is what's weird. You hate it when we had the voting on Reddit. Because you get all your friends and family members who don't watch the show to go vote for you. No, I don't. They didn't have logins. That was your complaint. What,

they got to create an account on Reddit? They can't do it through the app, Carl. At the time, I never used Reddit. I didn't know fucking anything about it. You host up running surfing, you liar. Not at that point. You're the biggest one of the world.

It was after that. But no, no, no. What I'm saying is, again, if you want to spin, you can spin. I'm spinning today. I lost. We're arguing two different things. right now. I'm talking about fixing the voting system.

Okay, so what do you want to do today's spitting or not? You want to take it off of our website. Correct. That we spent a lot of money to build. Unless we can get, unless we can find a better way to build it on the website. So people have to walk in in order to vote or something, some kind of verification, some kind of ability to do that.

One vote per person is what I'm advocating. Is that crazy? So you don't believe in the honor system on the creep off? I'm starting to think that all these people are all that honorable. That's what I'm thinking. All right. Here I am being attacked for giving my friend it out. It's not an outs.

Oh, me. Oh, for me. All right. Let's move on. We have a great show today. I'm excited about it. Danny, you did a lovely job, as always. You could have jumped in and taken my side a little bit.

That would have been neat, but still. What? I'm on your side. I'm on Team Carl. Everybody's on Team Carl. Thank you. Thank you, Danny. Follow her at Danny Desolation, and Little Lady Kay will be coming along sometime in November.

That's right. All right, Danny. Bye, Danny. We'll see you. We'll never to see her again. Do you think that her parents used to fight a lot? The way that her eyes looked when we started going back and forth, she's like, oh, no, not again. Not this again. Did we talk about the thing that happened at Dabalcon with Kumi is sitting in the green room?

I don't think so. I felt really, really bad because I was like. half fucking with Carl, half annoyed with Carl. And I walked in there and Carl was standing in front of me. And I go, we were talking about something. I said, by the way, motherfucker, I wasn't to bouch your head off the fucking wall over this thing and the other. And Kumi's eyes got really big and he started sinking back into the sofa. Oh, really?

Like, oh, no, dad's about to throw the spaghetti again. I wasn't looking at that at that time. Yeah, I know, but we were just fucking around. All right, everybody. That's, I guess Carl wants to spin today. so I'm going to reset all the voting. I don't want to spin. That's the rules of the game.

If we start changing the rules, okay, I'll tell you what, let's make this round up to eight. Whoever gets to eight first. You can't just change the rules. That's fucking steel-toe behavior. It's dumb. All right.

Fine. I just wanted to do the right thing by you. Oh, God. You are such a little bitch. You are such a little bitch. You're getting so worked up that I can't stop. It's really funny. Fair enough.

All right, all right. Let's just do a contest then, I guess. What do you say? Let's do a contest. We got a great contest this week. I'm excited about it. I'm excited about my creep. And Vinny, you won, so you start.

Ladies and gentlemen, the category today is creepiest high school football coach. That's right. Now, I am going to bring you a story that is just hitting the news, the national news, this week. And I am absolutely shocked by it. I did not know that this happened. and you are going to be as upset about it as I am, everybody. Okay. We're going to be talking about Coach Nicholas Nugent.

What do you do? Do we lose a bunch of games in a row or something? Oh, my God. I had so much money on them. Oh, that's not it. That's your consequences for later. Yep. We can talk about those.

Sure. Okay. That's not it either. Huh. Hmm. This is what you're voting for. In a guy in Idaho. The one guy in Idaho votes for you, 300 tides is what you're voting for.

It was in Idaho? Are you sure? It was Idaho? Because I've heard I had fans Oregon. Oregon! Oregon! Yeah, I might be confused.

All right, this is Coach Nicholas Nugent, everybody, and he is a football coach. We don't even know if he still is a football coach. I don't know if he's still employed. Okay. At Brooklyn's James Madison High. Now, the incident we're going to discuss happened just about a year ago on September 18th of 2023. Now, he had a player who's 14th. years old. His name is

Shayson Willick. Now, this kid loved his team, loved football. He was on the upside of a real rough go with COVID, this kid. He was just coming back to classes,

was sick, really sick, and just trying to get back into the swing of things. And he had to stay after school for his football team's video review. So they had to sit there and watch game tape, Carl. Sure.

and she shan just kept falling asleep oh dude you can't do that you can't do that this is an important part of the prep yeah he he kept falling asleep so coach nugent decided to in his defense high school football is pretty boring but no shit could you imagine listen to these fucking NFL dropouts or these guys all wanted to be you know football players oh whatever so annoying high school coaches so he decides he's going to give this kid a proper coaching and to says, you know what, Shea Sean, out in the hall. Okay. So he sends him out in the hall.

And then the coach follows him out in the hall. And then the coach walks him to a stairwell, closes the door behind him in the stairwell. And that is when, according to say Sean and the bloodstains on the walls is when good old coach Nugent took him by the head, took him by the face, and smashed the back of his head into the cement wall behind him, knocking him immediately to the ground. Now, this is a 14-year-old child. who didn't get a good night's rest and he should have. He's been sick. These kids aren't sick from COVID.

Stop it with that. We have an important game tape that we're watching. We've got to break this down and figure out of play better. So you think one, you know, rattle to the dome is enough to get this kid? I would think so. And then he's going to shape up. Sure. So what about the next one when the coach got on top of him and did the same thing except this time to the floor?

Oh, that's not great. So this is, say shot at this point. He's got gravity working with him on that. Yeah. Having your back to the wind. It doesn't feel as fair. So Sheishon goes to the back of his head And he realizes he's bleeding all over the place

And he tries to get back up And when he gets back up The coach pushes him into this metal pipe that's in there And it just fucking cuts open his shoulder And this kid is concussed Very concussed And he gets out of there And starts wandering down the hallway

Bleeding from his head Well now that he's out for the next three or four games Maybe he doesn't have to watch the game footage For preparing for the next game, right? I would just, if I was the coach You actually game it out it's kind of nice of them get him take a couple plays off

take a couple plays off Shayshan so this kid ends up wandering into a classroom like fucking zombie town and all the other kids are looking like what the fuck and the coach comes he's like oh he's okay he's okay we just got to go take him to the bathroom to go get

them all cleaned up come on say Sean everything's all right that's when the kid passed out oh no that's where the kid passed out in the middle of the classroom and so let's talk about how the school handled this okay we kind of know what happened there's there's eyewitnesses but there's no video of this there's no video it was in a it was in a stairwell in the school so it's this kid's word versus the coach's word and his and is broken half fucking skull yeah right and fucking uh so let me just show you this too real quick this is his

head after he had to have six staples of the back of his head that's his shirt and then this is his shoulder from where he got cut on the pipe wow so uh This guy worked this child over pretty hard, all for fucking sleeping during the most boring part of football, not playing football. Now, the mom gets a phone call from the school, and the school's like, hey, uh, your son got her. You want to come and pick him up? She was in Queens. This was in Brooklyn. Yep.

By the time she got to the school, Carl, an ambulance had not even been there yet. There's an emergency room less than 500 feet away. This kid is, when the mother comes in, describes him as coming in and out of consciousness and still bleeding all over the floor. Okay. They left him laying on the floor for however long it took the mom to get from Brooklyn to Queens. Well, he's a fucking napper. That's what he likes to do. Leave him alone if he's taking a napter in the day.

Whatever. Is that a good thing to do after you get a concussion is just laid down on your back? and sleep it off. It's the bad thing to do. This kid ended up with six staples. He was very concussed. He hasn't been able to play football since. And his mother said there have been serious signs of brain damage.

Hasn't been able to play or doesn't want to play? Well, he... I'm questioning this kid's work ethic, honestly. Does he want to be a winner or not? He says all he wants to do is get back on that field. Okay. That's what he told everybody. Think his word.

So he and his mother said there's serious signs of brain damage. MRI suggests that his spine has been damaged. He has a compromised cervical region with multiple herniation. which is wholly abnormal for anyone remotely close to his age. Coach was arrested a few days later, but fun fact, the school never contacted the police. The school never called for medical help for this kid. That's not good. It's not good.

That part's not good at all. And the mother says the principal was in touch and expressed concern about her son's health. He's like, hey, is he all right? And she didn't seem concerned with what the coach did. and not only that they didn't want to call the police oh we don't need to get the police involved in this

right they don't need to get the police involved there was no discipline action disciplinary action for this guy they weren't doing anything sounds like this team has a good record there's one thing I know about disciplining sports if you're winning you ain't disciplined

yeah so obviously he's denying everything right I don't do anything you slipped I don't fucking know you know so she goes to the police so this kid could be just a big liar is what you're telling me no he's not a liar I mean the damage is done dude the damages he could be a clumsy liar let's be honest hold on what are you doing here are you hold out where to go where to go

baby you're dead that's actually not the right one let's do this one let's do this one uh it's time to victim blame the creep up victim blame yeah we're victim blaming today guys maybe or maybe there is no victim that's all I'm saying it's one guy's word against another one is an upstanding citizen who's a coach of a football team the other's this little kid who doesn't want to watch game footage so the coach gets arrested Carl a couple of days after this after the mom goes to the police okay He was not charged until a few weeks ago. So literally snitches get stitches in this case.

Exactly correct. Yes. So we don't know if this coach has been suspended or fired. I don't know if he still works for the team or not. But he's out on supervised release. He was charged with felony assault, endangering the welfare of a child, harassment and menacing. So he's out, like I said, on supervised release. they uh the department of education wouldn't say if he was still employed by the district he was

reached by the new york post this past week and you know what he said what did he say this is a great quote i'm shocked by the phone call to find out this is a news thing oh it's not a good thing to say but hey it is what it is it's all good and then he's a celebrity then he added that's why we're going to trial because i'm all about defending my freedom okay Not, I'm innocent. I'm about defending my freedom. Well, okay, maybe he didn't word it perfectly. I'm all, and then you follow that with, I'm all about defending my rights.

Yes. That's what he said next. And I want to show you the kind of stuff. Right to face as accusers. Okay. This is something that he tweeted, like the day or two after he was arraigned and released. Okay. The first trailer of Sonic 3 has been released in theaters December 20th.

He's so excited about it. So I'm just going to go ahead and say, this guy, just not give a fuck about what happened to this kid. Yeah, because he's innocent. That's why. Bullshit. Because he knows he didn't do anything. Bullshit.

All right, Carl. Some people do a lot of things that get out of football practice. So listen. Just saying, this man has not been found guilty. So I cannot say that everything that I said happened happened. I'm going by what I'm reading. I'm going by all of the news articles. And coach, if you're innocent, good luck to you.

If you're not rot in hell, you son of a bitch. All right. Very good. Now, Vinnie, I do want to take a quick break before I present my creep this week, creepiest high school football coach to celebrate this precious holiday of Super Chat Monday. Oh, baby. It is upon us, starting with the Shulie Network for becoming a member. Fuck, I got to turn it in our hard drives now.

Oh, no, all the hard drives? Oh, fuck. Carl, give me your Zoom player. All right. Give me your Zoom player. Joseph Collins, five bucks. Give it time, Vinnie and Carl. Aaron will morph into Lloyd Bridge.

is from airplane. Coof, thank you for not offing yourself, Coof. We appreciate it. Good to see you. My man. Rumpel, Trenchcoat,

a Columbo podcast, $5 says, I do think the funniest thing S.J. ever said was that he could replace Carl and the creep off. Could you imagine it'd be hilarious? Oh, my guy.

Could you imagine the bitching about the voting he would be doing? This is all the ferrius. There's just a lot of the fairies voting. Yeah, that's a good point. Oh, man. I can just see John preparing for one episode

and then the next Monday's like, we got to do this again? Holy, every week we're doing this? I can see him just bitching about that. Vinnie, you mean you don't just give me the creep and I say it? Brinkamania, thank you for becoming a YouTube member. Wherever you did, we simulcast us on the creepoff and who are these podcasts.

Wherever you're watching, thank you for watching us. Mechanical 8.5 bucks. The numbers don't lie and they spill disaster for Carl on the wheel of consequences. The numbers don't lie and they spell disaster for you. You know what I forgot, Carl? What did you forget, buddy? You know what I forgot? One more for the good guys.

Hashtag clean sweep. Hashtag Vinny Winnie. Adam Two Bucks says, will January 6th comedy at the Carlson for Carl? Well, we will January 6th. Storm Riot. I'm not being like Joe Biden. I'm saying if they cheated, we got to fix it.

I will say protest peacefully, everyone. those are my instructions to you protest peacefully stand back and stand by true believers lupa lupa bob five bucks carl don't worry we'll go to the carls in a protest last week's loss we will make our voice heard let's plan it for january 6 2025 i'll be there let's go all i'll give a speech ahead of time i love it mr magenta five bucks fun fact viny has won seven in a row now time to step it up carl also vinny did you get my real consequences song oh did i ever I'll need this one. Come on and give that wheel

spin. Someone booked five wins. Spin it it so the pain can now begin. And if you're pissed at people vote, don't whine because you'll be just fine. Don't watch your co-host glow. So come on spin it round and round. The brown turns upside down.

The creep off is one fucked-up show. Go to church or pass the spin Or send money to the hitman Clubfoot panache Then he is still fat Let's see the consequence That one, Mr. Magenta That's fantastic Mr. Magenta

Great work as always We appreciate you Yes, thank you for that All right, are you ready for my creepiest high school football coach? All right My high school football coach was, did win a state championship for Mancato West. He coached from 1999 to 2002, but he wasn't the head coach.

He was the linebackers coach. And he's been making a lot of news lately. You might know him. It's Tim Walz. Hey. Is my creep. This is no fair. Tim Walls is my creep.

This is no fair. Football coach. God, damn it. All right. And I have a number of reasons why this guy is the creep this week for the creep off. Starting with his stolen valor. Let's never forget this speech he gave in 2018. We can make sure we don't have reciprocal carry among states.

And we can make sure that those weapons of war that I carried in war is the only place where those weapons were at. Talking about getting rid of weapons of war like the ones that he carried in war. Well, he retired from the National Guard 2005 and never served in a combat zone. Well, it's retired in May and unseated the Republican incumbent in the House election the following year. Several former guard colleagues have griped about Wallace's decision to leave their unit on the brink of their deployment. They're like, hey, guys, we're actually going to need you. I have a question. All these wars over in the Middle East.

He's like, yeah, I'm kind of done with the national card, guys. I'll see you. I have a question, though. Weren't they, I read something about this. And I am not ball washing here. This is just for the sake of hoping you lose. Sure. They weren't deployed for something like a year and a half.

after he retired. No, but he knew they were going to get deployed. And that's what he walked away. Well, I mean, you got to stick around for an extra year and a half just to go to fucking war. This is a quote. Would you do that? Well, he was in it for how long? He keeps bragging about being in it for 15 years.

Exactly. Doug Jew and a retired National Guard soldier who worked with Waltz told the Washington Post, nobody wants to go to war. I didn't want to go, but I went. The big frustration was that he let his troops down. A history of Wall's battalion confirmed that the unit deployed 2003 to Great Britain. Listen to all these wars he was in. He went to Great Britain, Italy, Turkey, and Belgium.

It sounds like a vacation to me. Oh, man. Sounds like he had to fight the urge to eat all that good local cuisine. So that was where he was bringing his weapons of war, apparently. But let's not talk about stolen valor. That's awful, but he's a bigger creep than that. Remember the George Floyd riots? No.

According to the Reuters, the what? Yeah, George Floyd. According to Reuters, Walls and his team have said they dealt with issues as best they could, including by deploying the National Guard. The two-term governor acknowledges the decision to delay deployment the National Guard and called the disease response an abject failure. During a press conference a few days after the protests, gripped the Twin Cities and the greater Minneapolis area, causing extensive damage to buildings, businesses, and a police

precinct that was overrun by rioters and set ablaze. So he let the riots occur for four days straight before getting the National Guard. He let everybody have a fun time for four days. In that time, hundreds of businesses were devastated. By the destruction, let's show my image number one on here just to remind people what happened. All right. Back in 2020 when we had this going on. This is what Minneapolis looked like.

Yeah, it looks like they're Burning Man. Midwest Burning Man. Yeah, right. That's not what it's supposed to be. It's a city. It's a downtown area. There's businesses and residents of these places. You're telling me this didn't increase tourism.

You didn't get a bunch of people coming out there and a riot and have fun. It definitely did not. Take a look at my next. here. I don't know. This is Tim Wall's face as he was watching what was going down. Oh, oopsie. That's not good.

That's not good. Oh, man, I'm the governor of the state. It's really going to shit. It looks like there's a war going on. I have a quick video for us. Oh, so he frowned once? That's why he's a cream because he frowned. I have a quick video here, number three,

that kind of shows the aftermath after all these riots for four days. Look at this. To be fair, I've never been there before. Buildings and businesses all along Lake Street in Minneapolis were destroyed. The third precinct police station where Derek Chauvin was based remains empty and deserted. The former Minneapolis white police officer was convicted last month of murdering Floyd after pinning the black man to the pavement for more than nine minutes. In the days that followed Floyd's death, this was like that when I got here.

Well, this is how that block looked. now lot after lock completely empty and leveled to the ground wow what a leader what great leadership he showed that so he was the mayor of minneapolis when this happened he was the governor and uh he did not he was offered national guard help and he refused it because you know you don't want to go along with what trump says that would be bad obviously oh so okay so many in politics what's the worst part of failure it's not the failure It's the cover-up. We learned that from Nixon.

Yes. The cover-up is the problem. I don't know if you even know about this, but there's a government watchdog nonprofit called Public Record Media, and they're suing to compel the Minnesota Department of Public Safety to Turnover Records showing how Governor Tim Walls responded to protests. We know he frowned more than just that one time. I need more to see the pictures.

The nonpartisan organization filed a request for records of interviews conducted as part of an after-action assessment of the state's handling of the civil unrest. Two years later, the state still hasn't produced the records. So this... Oh, state government was slow with a FOIA request. This watchdog nonprofit group is now suing in hopes to find out why the state has stalled in responding to a simple data request. They don't want the shit getting out there. They don't want to know, they don't want people to know what they knew at the time that this wall went down.

Well, Carl, if it's what you say it is, it's Trump told us to, so he said no. then I mean Yeah Half the country will applaud him for that Well The other half hates him already They do That's why he's the running mate

For Gamala Harris That's what I'm saying It doesn't make a lot of sense Why he would just put it out there Because hey I thought that Trump was wrong And I was really surprised by the way people acted You can condemn it now he has That was literally our governor's excuse

For covering up the information they had I mean it literally was The spokesperson came out and said it Like whoops that they were sending people with COVID and nursing homes where they then infected other people and a lot of people died

who wouldn't have died he murdered a lot of people and the reason why they covered it up is because they're like we don't want to give a W to Trump who said that we were doing bad things over here great job Cuomo yeah that's the worst part about politics

is listen to other people gloat all right let's talk about gender affirming health care for miters shall we oh they need it right in April of 2020 Wall signed a bill into law giving Minnesota courts

the ability to make child initial custody determinations in cases where children seek gender-affirming care. This includes puberty blockers, opposite sex hormones, and other interventions. Huh, that's not what I thought it was. Minnesota courts have the power to remove children from their own parents' custody if the parents wish to protect their children from harmful hormones or surgeries. Now, the term gender affirming care, it sounds nice. A lot of people use this term. Yeah, when you say it to me, what I assume it means is like you go in there and the doctor like lifts up your dress and it's like, that's a vagina. Way to go, lady.

No. It's actually not what it is at all. That's not what it is at all. An investigative journalist Gerald Posner explained in the Wall Street Journal last year, such interventions are more like a human experiment that borders on child abuse. The case is rapidly crumbling for allowing matters to take such drugs and have surgeries with irreversible complications if they merely claim they have gender identity, a gender identity different from their biological sex.

The American Society of Plastic Surgeons has recently stated that it has not endorsed any organizations practice recommendations for the treatment of adolescence with gender dysphoria and that there is considerable uncertainty as to the long-term efficacy for the use of chest and genital surgical interventions. This is not a good practice. Even very liberal countries in Europe have stopped doing this. They realize the children under 18 can't make these types of decisions and they need to mature and then figure out if they want to remove or do things to their body.

So what do they do? Give them like hysterectomies during lunch. Yes, that's what they're doing. That's the problem. Get the old ice cream scoop out. Yep. And then the kids don't eat lunch and then they're groggy. And then fall to sleep during,

fall to sleep during, football meetings. Football meetings. There's all sorts of complications to go on with this. But the best part about this, Vinny, is that this bill requires schools to stock free menstrual products

and restrooms regularly used by students in grades four through 12. The language of the statute was gender neutral and therefore compelled schools to make menstrual products available to transmasculine, meaning trans boys and male presenting students. So this is why he's tampon Tom,

because fourth graders have access to tampons in the boys' room at school. Makes sense, right? Very progressive. I'm not going to lie if they were there. I'd find fucked up ways to do things with them. Of course. They would end up in your butt so quick, Vitty. Not in the butt.

I'd like put it in people's drinks or something. I'd like drop of it just for funsies. Stir people's drinks for it. Like you'd leave your milk there at the lunch you come back. There's a tampon in it. That'd be hysterical. All right. Let me bring you to the real reason why this guy's a creep.

All those things are creepy behavior. But let's talk about the pandemic response in March of 2020. You remember the pandemic, right? No, I have actually blocked it all out. Walls mandated indoor masking during the coronavirus pandemic, which enacted in July of 2020, and it ended in May of 2021, indoor masking from actually began in March under emergency code, but then in July he made an official. decree that masks indoor all the way till May of 2021, the upper Midwest law center sued calling

the mandate unconstitutional, which it is, but an appellate court ultimately sided with walls. This is not science-based at all. In fact, I did some research on places that I normally wouldn't look for research. According to the NIH, coronavirus is... If you don't say a library, I'm not going to take anything you say seriously. This is from the NIH's website. Coronavirus is tiny enough to penetrate through a face mask. Cloth masks have limited efficacy in combating viral infection transmission. So this guy's making people wear a mask it's doing nothing. And they knew that. They knew it was doing nothing.

According to the executive order, I actually read this executive order, a face covering must be worn to cover the nose and mouth completely and can include a paper or disposable face mask, a cloth face mask, a scarf, a bandana, a neckgator, or a religious face covering. This is doing nothing. This is just a guy showing off that he can force people to do things they don't want to do because he's the governor. you don't think any of these people were just swept away in the time with the

yeah i think i think they were i think that they're power hungry i think tim walls was one of these guys who wants to force people to do things they don't want to do because he has the power he's another gavin newsome so i don't know if i get that vibe oh you don't you don't think the forcing people to wear a bandana on their face no i think it's stupid a misguided i think it's stupid and fucking misguided, but I think that these people were trying to listen to who they thought were experts, who were the fucking power-hungry ones. And these guys were the ones who were just trying to enforce it to try to do what they thought was right for their constituents. And I'm saying that because I'm in a competition with you and I want to win. I got a kicker

coming up. It's going to definitely thwart what you're saying. But let's remind everyone, this includes kindergartners. Remember how many five-year-olds were falling over dead from coronavirus? Not enough, frankly. So good thing that we have these kindergarters who definitely can wear a mask all day without any issues. It makes a lot of sense. Now, let's talk about the enforcement of these rules. Individuals must be punished by a fine is the language of this. Must be punished by a fine.

That's, see, now, okay. Any business owner, manager, or supervisor who fails to comply with this executive order is guilty of a misdemeanor, and upon conviction, must be punished by a fine not to exceed $1,000 or by imprisonment not to exceed more than 90 days. In addition to these criminal penalties, the attorney general, as well as the city and county attorneys may seek any civil relief available pursuant to Minnesota Statute's 2019, Section 831, for violations of this executive order, including civil penalties up to $25,000 per occurrence from businesses and injunctive relief. Do you think Tim Walls even read that? He wrote it.

He's the author of this thing. He signed it. And then according to MSN, I'm going to MSN for information, Vinnie. I'm getting a fair and balanced report here. Isn't that Tommy's thing? Or is that MCS? It's Microsoft. It's what combined with NBC to make MSNBC.

I was making a Tommy joke. I see. Along with putting a place mask mandates, the governor also instituted a hotline number for people to report those violating social distancing guidelines. The hotline was launched in March of 2020 under a sweeping public health order by Walls, which included mask mandates and some business closures.

This is what he said, Tim Walls. It is being used, and we simply want to let people be able to call and let folks know, he said. It's for their own good. If we see people that may not be as informed on this, it's an educational piece. You know who else used informants to rat out fellow citizens? That would be the Gestapo. Yeah, I heard of them. You heard of those guys?

They were good. They weren't very good. They were creeps. He set up a hotline so that you could tattle on your neighbors and friends and other people you saw not wearing the mask or social distancing correctly. you know this makes him a creep i'm sorry yeah he's a creep but he didn't break a kid's skull vote for viny he might have he was a football coach yeah i mean he was a linebacker coach so listen if i take the l on this i get it i uh i'm not really defending this guy i think he's a fucking clown but whatever vote for carl everybody vote for viny they got my guy broke some of

these skull some of his child skull very good kid wasn't wearing a helmet of nothing So this is where we would normally do Carl's Copcam, but I was informed that because you were a good boy this week, you did your homework and you are now going to read for us your book report that you wrote about a Helga Man's book, Little Red Book? That is correct, Vinny. I had a consequence, and I had to get this consequence done before I spun the wheel again, or else I'd have to spin the wheel twice, I think is the rule. So I wanted to make sure I presented my book report for us today. a man from train wreck what was the name of their show before that reality show uh that reality show i don't know what it was before it's my signed copy i got a signed at dabblecon too yeah she broke the pen with her hand she was trying to sign it just snapped it in half she heard gs and e's look

exactly the same fun fact about trans people ease are hard who knew all right so i went through and uh read this book now i'm going to tell you what I learned about this. It's extremely self-centered. And it starts with Helga explaining how Helga was discovered to be a woman by her family. Now, Helga recently transitioned. And what happened was Helga created a Facebook account. And then her family discovered it.

And they're like, oh, you're going by Helga now? No, we're not having that. So the family told her she had to take the Facebook page down. And she said, no, I am Helga man now. You will hear me roar. Yeah, but nobody listened. I don't, yeah, I don't know if they did. I'm not sure they did.

This is a quote from her, the first chapter in here. I'm useless as a man now. Even with Viagra, I can't get it up dependably. My wife can't have sex anyway because she has psoriasis in her vagina so she gets sore fast. What the fuck? Have you ever heard of psoriasis in a vagina? It sounds like an excuse not to fuck you. Yeah.

My wife was sleepy one night that she had psoriasis in her vagina the next night. I just can't win around here. Oh, it's crazy. dry today. Oh, I'm a headache. I have psoriasis, my twatts. I got a lot of things going on, Carol. Whoa.

All right, so then she goes into her PTSD from childhood. Apparently, she blocked out all of her horrible childhood memories. Why did she go on and on and on and on and on about it? Well, then she started going to therapy and they started getting brought up and she started bringing them back up again. And when she started to remember some of the things that happened to her, she got anxiety so bad that she had a heart attack. So I don't know if that's really good for you.

Yeah, okay. To remember those things. Sometimes it's good to let your brain just let you forget shit. Yeah, it's doing that. It's protecting you. Yeah. It's doing that for a reason. Now, Vinnie, this is one of the big story that she tells us about her childhood and why she

has PTSD from her childhood. It was after first grade and she goes over, there's a wealthy family who throws all their garbage in this place and she finds this really cute girl's outfit and it's her size she's all excited so she puts it on how old are we talking she's at first grade so six or seven okay she puts it on and she's twirling and dancing about and having all this fun and then a couple bullies found her one was a kid in third grade the other was a kid in sixth grade they were hanging out together and they saw helga dancing around in the dress so they decided to rip her clothes off and beat the shit out of her now it's a boy at this so so these two

are blowing each other at the garbage dump. But they look over and they see little John in his dress. They're like, hey, look at that gay kid. Let's go beat him up. That's the voice. That's the voice a third grader and a sixth grader would have too. Why I ought to? They beat Hogan nearly to death and left her for dead.

She was passed out after they walked away. They tripped her. And then she came two later. They had smashed her genitals and kicked her head and beat her up. Now, I'm not saying this is bullshit. maybe I am saying it's bullshit because there's a couple of things I don't really understand about this

bullshit first off third and sixth graders don't hang out together that that wouldn't happen and secondly kids of that age aren't beating the ever-living shit out of someone

it's not something that happens I've seen some sixth graders do some damage I mean I could take them I mean the most amount of fights I ever was into my life was like in sixth and seventh grade they're very aggressive shitty kids

yeah but the fights I mean they're not that strong they're not going to do that much to you yeah that's true i could be wrong i don't think they're smashing genitals but that's what happened and that's why helga was trapped in this male body and was ashamed of it and even when she found out about transgender and things like that she was too ashamed too afraid to come out so she stayed a man got married to a woman had kids did all this stuff now her first and by the way i'm filling in all those points she doesn't talk about any of that in the book.

Hmm. She doesn't talk about how she fell in love with her with her wife. No, none of that. What she does put in here is a transcript of the first time she ever went out in public as a woman. It was January 12th, 2017, her first public appearance. And she says that she gave this speech for 10,000 people. Now, Helga, I believe, has been known to exaggerate.

Do you know how big of a room that would be 10,000 people? Hulga gets up there and gives us a speech. speech in front of 10,000 people the first time ever being Helga man. You know what I've just imagined? Do you remember that Simpsons episode of Roeber was just remembering everything in his own head? Yes. And he's just like, and then I said to the Pope. Right.

I think that's how her braid operates. Yeah. 10,000 people. In this speech, I was reading through the speech. So at the end, do they put her up on her shoulders? Well, in this speech, it's a lot of hysterics about Trump, because Trump had just been elected. It was about to take office

at this time. But also, in this speech. She drops that Jerry Garcia asked her to join the dead at the Altamont Rock Festival in 1969. This is a festival attended by 300,000 concert goers.

And she had to turn down Jerry Garcia because she was so concerned that people would pick on her for her feminine ways because she was a guy at the time. But Jerry Garcia is like, come on, Helga. You're such an amazing musician. The Grateful Dad needs you. But

How we couldn't do it. It's really sad, isn't it? This is in a book that she wrote. Yeah. Bullshit! Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yep.

It sure is, Vinny. Learning a lot today. All right. You know, DeWart Christian, thank you for this. This is exactly what I was just trying to think about it. Hi, hippies are ruthless. You know, all the people at the fucking Grateful Dead show are going to be like, Hey, look a gay.

Right. I know. I just do it everywhere she goes. That's what everybody's doing. It doesn't make any fucking sense. These people are fucking tripping. They don't give a shit if you have a list. They're all dressed like women.

Have you seen Woodstock footage? They don't give a shit. Oh, long hair. Oh, no. That person with the long hair is played with the Grateful Ted. I think we got to leave, honey. Now, the next portion of the book is a letter she wrote to Trump. And I read this very carefully.

May I borrow? Okay, sorry. This is actually very funny. Okay. She's all the solution. So Trump is. is elected into office she writes him a letter like hey i got this all figured out for you you can just take my advice she literally says just print money she's like we can fix all these problems

just print a bunch of money you could print a bunch of money just do that and there's a few things she says in this chapter this letter to trump that i totally agreed with which i was blown away by okay she says that they should uh allow for corporate tax reform to lower corporate taxes and make the united states a tax haven for corporations yes i'm with that Correct, rather than have them go off to Ireland and start up their headquarters there. Well, Chuck kind of did that. And I think we still have that amnesty, don't we?

Did we keep that in place? Or is that one of those things that we got ready? The tax code is still in place, yeah. Yeah. But yes, lower corporate taxes. Nice. Actually, smart thing. I couldn't believe it.

And then she talks about... Make everyone tuck their penises between their butt sheets. No, listen to this. I couldn't believe this. Then she says, Andrew Jackson removed all the banker. She even calls out the Rothschilds in this letter to Trump. And then she goes, and then Woodrow Wilson, let them all back in. I'm like, holy shit, I can talk to Helga about this stuff.

She's against the Fed. She gets the Federal Reserve. Like, yes, all right. We're connecting here, Helga. This is good stuff. It didn't get better than that. That was the one time I was excited about this book. Okay.

She then says that class, the class system, is simply a matter of opportunity and blind, dumb luck. So apparently, when people work hard or they're wildly intelligent, they come up with great new inventions or new ways to do things, dumb wine luck yeah that's a sour that's a sour grapes uh outlook there yeah i think you're right about that i should have had all this stuff and i didn't have all this stuff but she's not completely wrong there's a ton of people who lucked into fucking fucking hawk tua she's got fucking representation sometimes it fucking is luck but it's not all the time and you can't discount people's hard work just because you want to feel better about your lot in life by the way i'll be reviewing talk to a hawk tua's brand new show on w tp this week with christie may

Looking forward to that And listen Hawks Skipper Haley Welch She's talented All right Is she? She's pretty

She's got some talents Okay I'm just saying All right I'm just saying it She has this next chapter That is You know it's bad when

And then she writes All of these horribly depressing things The one that really bummed me out the most Was you know it's bad when Nothing you own or do has any value anymore Oh Oh go Come here, Halka.

She want to hold her. I mean, I don't, but you know what I mean? It felt so bad. You know, what was it the title of the chapter? Nothing you own or do has any value anymore. What was the title of the chapter? You know it's bad when. It sounds like she was about to give you like a bunch of Jeff Foxworthy, non-sequentered her jokes.

Well, it kind of is. You know it's bad when your family don't talk to you no more on Thanksgiving. Yep. Here's another one from this chapter. You know it's bad when, when other people outside the family cause. grief you are told to grow a pair even though you want the pair gone as they haven't been used for their intended purposes for years and years and you've never wanted them in the first place could you imagine being triggered by grow a pair no it just means fucking toughen up

all right that's all right that's all it means we're actually talking about your testicles here except for doctor steve for some weird reason i like to know about how you got them up to your butt cheeks to and then uh coof will be interested in this there's a chapter in here about going to greenland which is code for unaliving yourself don't go there in the uh dick masterson world and she decides that uh suicide by volcano is ideal because there's no mess there's no evidence the only problem she says is that there's no volcanoes in connecticut lived in Hawaii she would have figured out a way out of this crazy world man there's also it's that hard of a problem to get to a volcano just go to Hawaii I mean you only need a one

way ticket so it's right I mean it is cheap you don't even need a hotel just get off the thing and be like hey point at it and have somebody while you're there you should see some sites though I would imagine it's beautiful view on the way down could you imagine you get there you're just like oh this place is beautiful maybe I'll give a couple more weeks it's pretty nice You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to fall in backwards so I can check out the view one last time. I just thought it was interesting. She put a lot of thought into jumping into a volcano.

That was something that she's considered a lot, I guess. So there's lots of lectures to Christians in this book, multiple chapters about how Christians have lost their way. I think that she's a big Jesus fan. She talks about Jesus a lot, and Jesus is all about love, and Jesus would not have ever set up a church system. And so lots of lectures. And then this came out of nowhere.

She is pissed at Christopher Columbus. Like, there is an entire chapter dedicated to shitting all over Christopher Columbus. This is anti-Italian rhetoric. Yeah, I bet you're not happy about that. Apparently, she thinks that other people came to the Americas before Christopher Columbus did. Go figure. Pretty hot take there. It's nice that you decided to not talk about your wife, your kids, any of that.

But, you know, let's take Christopher Columbus. It's all over the place. This book, it's so weird. Oh, I should mention there is a section about it's really nice one. It's a very short section compared to it's bad one. Huh. You know it's bad one. But there's a couple of things.

Is there something nice in there that we can, you know, maybe have a little bit of a palette cleanser? Sure, yeah. Let me read a little excerpt from here. Sometimes you need rough patches in your life to make the good things shine. When I was a kid, they used to call me a sissy. I realize it takes a really tough person to be a sissy and survive. that is what they call they called a transgender

back in the 40s and 50s I'm proud to be a sissy we're happy for you all right then sissy oh we're not doing this look no we're not then back to the church

he takes the church to task she says Jesus was all about love and then she offers this advice she says take a priest or a deacon out for coffee be yourself express true love as Jesus did do this with Protestant leaders too do this with rabbis and imams love is the key we have eternity to work with reincarnation is real we are stuck here in the universe forever so she believes in reincarnation

she thinks that we have an eternity to work on this she says we might as well make the experience happy for everyone that's the big takeaway talk to a deacon talk to a rabbi tell them that the church is bullshit jesus is love love is all that matters i believe the beetles made that point once or twice. She also offers a simple solution to the immigration problem. Ooh, like what? Which is incredible.

And again, this is just rapid fire. Church sucks. Jesus is love. And then here's how to solve the immigration problem. This is amazing. I can't believe no one's thought of this sooner. She says, set up a computer terminal

in the post office with a web camera and a printer, voila, documentation. Wow. If the problem is documentation, just document it when they're coming in? Just put it right in the post office. We already got the building.

I'm going to go ahead and say that she's thinking these things through a little bit Let me read you the last We'll read you the last page of this Okay A question for the 21st Center This is how she concludes her book Why is it so hard for people to

Let go of preconceived notions As to how other people in their lives should be And embrace them as they are Why must personal change come at so high a cost Hmm this is the most disjointed book I've ever read it's literally different fonts different font sizes the layouts change sometimes it's centered sometimes there's bullets I mean you can see that like one page has big letters another page has smaller letters some of them are poems it's a performance art of some type it's a deba it's a mess it's how many page is it's all over the place dude I just want I want you to know please vote for Carl because I read all 50 pages of this book I should pick a lot of bigger book

guys and I'm realizing that the table of contents and the forward are included in the page count so I was going to try to give myself extra credit but that's how there is

I give this book a C minus and I would recommend that other people try to read this book and spread the message of love and to respect people

who are different than you very good Carl, way to do your consequence. My first book report in 40 years. Thank you very much, everybody. Now, we're just going to need to see a typed out copy of it that we could have graded. Okay, sounds good. Because that was part of it.

So I know that's not as fun as a cop cam, but that was my consequence. And we had to do it. All right. Good job, buddy. Thank you. Thanks for having me. I can't wait to find out where next consequence it's going to be. Oh, we'll find out soon.

I know. Let's do, want to do some voicemails? Yes. All right. The creep-off voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse. Post Malone returned for a sold-out show at his hometown of Syracuse. He initially left because he was unable to find work because of, quote, not enough face tattoos. See you in Syracuse.

It's a nice place. It's a nice place, Carl. We have a listener who was offended by something I said about male nurses last week. All right. I said they are the biggest creeps at a job. sure you know i was really offended at the mail nurse comment today what do you what do you think i do at work like i'm known as the guy who's into like helping with enemas and suppositories and putting rectal tubes in to collect diarrhea from really shitty patients oh yeah i am that guy

oh god so fuck you oh man that was weird well we're happy that you've found a home here with the creep off. Thanks for listening. Thanks for comment. It sounds like an awful, awful job. Vinnie, I've got a voicemail for us here. All right. Hey, Carl, this is for the creep off. A buddy of mine was wondering when is sick shitty hot sauce going to release

a flavor that pairs well with the sweet, succulent back bacon of my 26, his 26-year-old wife. You know, call me back whenever you get a chance. I will say silkcity hotsosos.com. We're back in stock again. If you want to get the, a little dabble do you, WATP hot sauce, WATP promo code for 20% off your order.

And it doesn't say it on the label because I think it's against the law, but it does pair very well with what you're talking about. I was enjoying it with tater tots yesterday. It's a very delicious hot sauce. Well, I've had it, and it's quite good. It is quite good. In fact, I take it to the diner with me on Sunday mornings and put it on my eggs. That's amazing.

You should tell them to stock up on it. I'm telling them anything. I don't even like talking to the server. Good point. If I do, she'll quit. If Vinny was a wrestler, the name he would go by would be Jobber the hut. Fuck me or fight me, Vinny. That's pretty good.

Which one would you prefer? All right. Carl, somebody who listened a couple weeks back to the episode we put out on Labor Day where they're still amazed that year to lead singer of that band banged your girlfriend. Oh, right. Okay, first thing's first. Carl, I have absolutely no sympathy for you getting your girlfriend stolen by another band member. Right.

That's what happens when you bring Yoko to band practice. Yep. You're a Beatles fan. What are you fucking doing, dude? Yep. How to get that out of the way. Secondly, the cop cam with that bratty, fucking, mouty little teenage kid. That cop can is proof that we really need to reconsider

the stance we have on corporal punishment because I can tell you that when I was at kid's age, if I mouthed off like that to an adult, I would fully expect to get smacked. That's why I didn't do it. Corporal punishment needs to come back. Yeah, I think police officers should beat up young children. I think football coaches should beat up young children. They're mouthed off or sleeping during film study. yeah we got to wake them up i uh put it out there last week if anybody had any creepy car salesman

stories to leave us a voicemail and tell them about it oh great about it and uh somebody took me up on that and if you want to do the same thing this week if you have a uh creepy football coach let us know i'd hear about that too hey vini uh so you're talking about creepiest car salesman i am a car salesman have been for like the last six seven years and uh recently one of the uh older gentlemen who I worked with, a salesman for the last 40 years, got caught by Chris Hansen. Oh. He got caught by Chris. Oh, no.

That's not good. He was texting with a girl he believed to be 14 or 13 or something, and was texting with a decoy who was posing as the mother selling her daughter for sex. And one of the things he said, I probably shouldn't say. I don't want to lose my job. Anyway, bye. Oh, you could have said. You could have said. I wish he had said.

I wish he had said. Wow. I mean, if you're going to get picked up for doing that, at least congratulations on making it to the major leagues. Now, uh, being at the show. Last voicemail. This guy makes amazing points, this last caller. And I just wanted to call him and say, uh, fuck Carl Hamburger. She'd vote for Vinny.

The bill's fucking fuck. And don't call me back. Yeah. The perfect call. That was a perfect call. It was a pretty good call, except for the fact that the bills are two and oh, baby. One and O in their division.

That's a pretty good thing. What's the Dolphids record of the division? O and one, you know that, Carl. That's right it is. Yeah. Oh and one. Fucking A. Just because our quarterback's skull is made out of fucking jelly bean.

You wish? No one do you like the guy? Not everything's candy, you know. All right, Minnie. Before we talk about the scum parade, which I'm excited for. Let's check out the Super Chats that we have on Super Chat Monday. Thank you all for supporting the show.

We do appreciate it. Carl's Frost and tips two bucks says, well, well, JDI. S.J. took you down. Trump 24 per Vinny. Yes, I am just to do it now. Is that what they're calling you now? John's calling me JDI.

That's my new nickname. Pretty good stuff. You got this one? Sure. Labor and Mystic, the man. things for the five bucks. I delivered for Office Depot in Minneapolis when it happened. We had a store permanently shut down. Also, my submission can't compete with that. Did you send a wheel song, Labron? I don't know if you did. I don't remember if you did. If you

did, I'll go back and get it. Yeah, it's not a competition. Yeah, certainly not. Sending all the good stuff that you got. And yes, that was a debacle, the way that was handled for the George Floyd riots. Of course, that trickled into our town as well. Do you remember that? Remember it made national news when that woman was getting beat with the, well, just beat the shit out of this poor white girl. Well, she shouldn't have yelled the N-word at somebody. I don't know if that constitutes getting your ass. No, it doesn't.

Put in the hospital. No, just got to pick your time, though, I think is pretty much the lesson there. JJ coming in, devil's joint. Hello, friends. I am ashamed. Don't be ashamed. Don't be ashamed. We're getting out the good word, do guys.

Everyone pick up, Helga's book. I have a feeling there's going to be a run on sales. that was such a C-plus review from Carl come on Eb-nigh five pounds, thank you creepiest coach Robert Duval with terrible British accent

and shit soccer film shot at glory the cup Michael Keaton in it too owe it to yourselves I don't think I've seen that movie or have even heard of it I like a Michael Keaton film Robert Duvall I wonder what position he played on the team

with that had goalie fucking giant head of all ever young i can't even imagine it he was always bald with a giant head and young that's what i thought yeah big old irish dome all right kids i guess it's time for a scum parade and boy do i have one ready to go scum parade take me on a raid of these fuck charades that these creeps have made Scum Parade Vinny and Carl Gonna tell you about some fuck shit

Scum parade Like stories of a kid fucked by his mom or dad Soaking up the blood of a cat Scum parade Now Carl When we go out in public We go into a store

We expect a certain level of professionalism and quality We don't expect what happened to this poor mother and her nine-year-old daughter when they were shopping in a dollar tree i was going to say depends on what store you're going into i would actually expect what happens here to happen in a dollar tree okay okay okay i'll give it to you that isn't even the worst thing that could happen to you in a dollar tree but by far this this might be up there though this is pretty bad it's not even noted on someone's leg that was that in a dollar tree too it was yeah actually this is slightly less worse than getting your leg knotted on in a dollar tree okay adrian

Sheldon and her nine-year-old daughter, Gray. We're at the Dollar Tree in South Band Avenue. Child abuse. For a gift for Gray's teacher. Now, I read that line and I thought to myself, teachers are not appreciated. Yeah, let's get something for her. Let's go to the Dollar Tree.

Like, I thought we liked her. No, okay. Yeah, this is a nine-year-old. This kid doesn't have an allowance. You can't go to, go to Family Dollar. At least they'll sell you a candle for $3 or something stupid. Ooh, that sounds like a nice candle.

Yeah. So this woman reaches up, the daughter reaches up on a shelf for a candle because they were smelling candles and trying to decide which one they wanted to get the teacher. And when she tilted it back, liquid poured out all down the front of this little girl. Oh, the candle wet itself, did it? No. Someone wet the candle, Carl.

Okay. Because they're walking through the store and the mom thought it was water at first. Like, oh, it's okay. It's okay. And as they're walking through the store, they get a foul smell. And the daughter goes, mom, my shirt really stinks. the smell was urine because someone pissed inside

of a candle jar and left it there for someone to spill all over themselves. What a fun prank. Here's the thing. This mom is now livid. My daughter's covered in piss. All I wanted was a cheap gift

for her bitch teacher and this is what I get. She finds the manager and the manager offered a shirt as a replacement. So here's a dollar shirt. I would rather my kid be wearing a piss shirt than a shirt from the dollar tree personally.

But they offered a shirt. And then they tell the mother that this has been happening in the store for over a month and they can't catch who's doing it. All right. I know who's doing it. The manager. Yes, of course the manager. Because if it's just a guy who wants to get in there, he doesn't get to see what happens. It's a fun trip.

It's obviously going to be someone who works there because they want to watch this go down. Otherwise, what's the fun of it? So let me tell you what happened. This manager was sitting in his office and he heard the mother go, oh my God. that pissed and he went. Gotcha, bitch. And he went running out. It's my favorite part.

I love this. Oh, my God. So the news talked to the manager of the store and the manager said, hey, listen, it's just a mess. I don't know what we could do here, but this has been having for a month. There's not a camera. The store doesn't have a camera down that aisle, so we don't know who's doing it and we're trying to keep an eye out best we can. Also, it has to be an employee.

How else do you pass the time when you're working in a dollar tree? I used to have jobs that I didn't enjoy, but I was on the internet. I could just sit there and scroll through web pages. I'd probably be writing a depression list like Helga did in that one chapter. Yes. Either that or pissing on candles. I don't know. Lighten them and pissing them out.

Sure. It's just things happening. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. Might be one way to pass the time. So the South Bend police are investigating. If you're pissing into candles in a dollar tree, stop it, but it's still funny. Oh, so this mom might have overreacted a tad.

She brought the daughter to urgent care. The urgent care nurse is just like, here's a sponge. What do you want? What do I'm going to do? People get pissed out all the time. Yeah, she's like, I'm a nurse. You think I have sympathy for this child? Right, yes.

You know what I've gotten on me? I know a male nurse. I know a male nurse who would have switched places with his daughter in no time. Correct. Signed up for it. All right, Carl. I want to introduce you to a guy. I got a picture I want to show you.

Let me find it here. Is it Jose? I think it is. Oh, hi, Jose. This is, uh, this is Jose Romero, Ramos Cordillo. Yes. Now, he got himself a little bit of trouble. Okay.

He's a maintenance worker at Brooksdale Gables, a senior living facility. And, uh, he was inside of one of the tenants' apartments. Mm. But he didn't realize that there was a camera for security inside of the apartment. So, there was a camera and there was also a dog home that's getting even sexier

and there was also a jar of sexy town peanut butter pretty much and the video shows him attempting to engage with the tenant's dog in a sexual manner he's chasing the dog around the house with his dick out

oh no that's that good yeah it was like come here come here so I got a question before you on this one Vinny is the old jealous all right what's your question because we often point out that these articles are not well written

they leave important details out how hot is this dog they left it out you don't even know they left it out i mean it might just have been irresistible we don't know what was it wearing we don't know doesn't tell it it was wearing a collar car okay a collar and had a little bone hanging from it and this guy drove him wild that's his kink yeah so he's fired oh I like how the Brookdale Senior Living comes out and they say they don't tolerate conduct of this nature. What a bunch of squares. Please. If he was just

in there stealing shit out of their underwear drawers and like, you know, money and stuff. Yeah, normal stuff. Yeah, it would be fine. Normal maintenance worker stuff. You can't try to fuck the dog. It also... No way, Jose. Haka, haka. This article confused me too because it says that he attempted

to engage in a sexual manner and then he was charged with sexually assaulting the dog. I'm hoping he was at least successful because how embarrassing would that be if he was like the dog wouldn't even go for it. He's just like, oh, God damn it. That's why the man has the Tim Walls look on his face right there. He's very depressed. Like, this is humiliating.

I didn't even get some. That is a horrified mugshot. He just looks so sorry for what he's done. How does he not know there's a camera there? I guess it's just, his horniness got the better of him. That happens. Carl, talk about a man who let his horniness get away with him. Let's talk about this guy.

Yeah, what's this guy up to? This guy's a problem. Oh, I know this guy's Cooleo, right? No, Coelio died. Oh. This is Washington, D.C. news. This is one of the most fucked up stories I've read out of the show at a while. I would usually save this one for a bonus episode, but I'm going to give it to you for free.

This one's a different one, for sure. 5.30 p.m. on Friday, September 6th. The Truxton Circle Neighbor. not far from a high school this owner of a house shared footage on reddit to help because she was looking for help and identifying the man who did this so it was route to dinner time this woman's camera recorded this man with an apparent lunchbox here's a picture of the lunchbox and he is pulling out a giant what looks like either a cucumber or a giant pickle which i am definitely fucking offended by well if it's not a pickle yet it will be yeah

so he then went around her driveway and put the cucumber in the grill of her SUV he lodged it into the grill of the SUV so it was sticking out okay he then started I don't know how to describe this other than he started grinding his open asshole on this cucumber and fucking himself with it while it was attached to the front of this woman's car can I give a word of advice to this gentleman this doesn't come from experience

all right less people think that that was where this is coming from this is common sense fucking yourself with a cucumber up the ass is an after sundown activity it's not a broad daylight activity this guy was caught on camera doing this

so he comes around the passenger side of the SUV then performs the sexual act again he appears to notice the security camera before putting the cucumber back in the lunchbox and then walks away down in the chase an alley. Yeah, they made a big deal about how he kept to the cucumber. I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. He's like

he's probably going to fuck it again. Yeah, and if he didn't, he could get another cucumber, probably. What I like about this, though, what I like about this is he did clean up after himself. That's right. He didn't just leave it in the grill of the car. He showed a little bit of respect. Nobody wants a shitty cucumber hanging out of their car. You can't get that off at a delta sonic. So here's what's going on here. You ever hear those

stories about people who, like, are in love with cars and shit? Oh, yeah. This dude let that car fucking peg him. That's true. Yeah, maybe he had a crush on it, a little crushy poo. on her fucking SUV. Now, what's the big deal that this article makes about this story? Which part? Well, the fact that he's doing this in broad daylight and there's a lot of children around.

Yeah, there's a school not too far away. So it's not a great idea. There's a lot of indecent exposure laws in D.C. And apparently there's a law against public penetration for sexual gratification. So. Oh, won't somebody please think of the children? So if you're publicly penetrating yourself for sex reasons, it's a legal comedy for jokes. Okay, yep, good point.

If this is just a joke, this guy is off the hook according to what I just read. So penalties, you ready for this, Carl? A fine up to $300. Take that. And you probably want to get your bumper washed. That is a weird one right there that he had to put the cucumber into the grill of the car and then turn around and let it fuck it. Yeah, these people are, like you said, up and arms up.

The children are walking around neighborhood kids, elementary school. Oh, I know. You know what I would do if I saw a guy with a fucking cucumber up his ass rubbing on the car. I would laugh. I would laugh my mother fucking ass off. I think it would sound a little something like this. Yeah. No, dude, no fucking way.

You see that jerk? It's pretty much it. That's how I would respond to that, but I guess some people were concerned for some reason. They were. Carl, I got one more story for us today. Let's talk about this guy right here. Yeah, good old pumpkin head. Old pumpkin head.

Round face. McGee over here. So this guy worked as a teacher at Beckman High School. And it was also a basketball in the evening. it's a low budget school I like to learn Chris just says guilty yeah I think you're right

God this guy's name is Sue Kung Sit okay that's his name he is the robotics team coach and he is going to jail for 17 years because he's been secretly recording mirrors and bathrooms for nearly

three years inside of the schools now in may 2022 so reportedly went to Texas for a tournament while serving as the school's robotics team coach they're from Irvine, California by the way the U.S. Attorney's Office said he installed a camera in the bathroom at the hotel. Smart.

Dude, he was just sticking them everywhere that he fucking could. I was at some camera budget. And you know who caught him. Who's that? The fucking janitor. Okay, so janitors do know there's cameras places because that guy in the nursing home didn't.

No, you're correct. remember the one janitor that we talked about at the live show in Vegas the guy who was just going around and just coming all over the one teacher's stuff all the time. Yeah. Yeah. No camera in that. He didn't know there was a camera. But this officer, or this

guy found a camera in the bathrooms near where the pool was at the school. Can I make an announcement for all the perbs out there? Yeah. I know you're watching. Perbs. I know you're here with us. We get it. You know, my buddy Christian Blad always says, every mic is a hot mic. You got to assume me for

sitting in front of a microphone, don't say something dumb. It might be getting recorded or amplified. Assume that every camera, every room has a camera in it. Every single room, whatever you want to do that's pervy, you're being filmed. Good idea. Every time you want to shove a cucumber and a grill and what to fuck you, there's someone filming it. Anytime you want to get in front of a comedian's house in Las Vegas and act like you're a tough guy,

there's someone filming it. It's a camera. Not if you want to beat up a person. a 14-year-old football player in a stairwell, though. That's when there's not a camera. Yep. That's the one time. That's the one time.

That's how we know he's innocent. So this guy, the maintenance worker found it. Officers responded to the scene. And again, guess what dumb fuck? Stop filming yourself setting up these cameras as a test. Oh, boy. Your giant pumpkin head got you. They're like, oh, the robotics coach did this.

I guess it makes sense because the thing was like fucking idiot. Oh, dude. This guy is so stupid. Fedra prosecutor said they sees at least 22 photos and one video of child sex abuse material on top of that on one of his hard drives, including multiple showing a toddler engaged in sexual acts. So this guy is as creepy as you can get. It also says in the article that he would record these videos and then save them on a hard drive and watch them back later. No shit. I also read that the bank robber

Spent the money he stole So yeah, of course I didn't hear that That's the whole point of this And then he was watching it back Like okay And then it also says in here That it included media of children

Using bathrooms In various states of undress What is butters taking a leak In this boys room or something Lou Lou I got some apples Lou Lou Lou Lou Just pulled his pants down to his ankles And whizzing

Various states of address Carl What a show today. I guess the various states would be either through the fly or above the pants. That used to be a big debate. What are you, Vin? Are you through the fly or above the pants line? It depends on what pants you're wearing.

It does. You're right. I mean, generally, if there's a fly, I'm going to use the fly. Okay. But if I'm wearing like sweatpants or joggers or something like that and there is no fly, I just pee in my pants. Okay, that is the right answer. I can't believe no one's ever described that before. everyone actually answers the question.

It's like, well, no, just to buy them what kind of patron. Yeah, that's a good answer. It's a dumb question. Maybe that's why they don't talk about it on the Dix show anymore. It's a dumb question. Carl, what an episode we just did. What an amazing episode this was, but it's not over yet. It's certainly not. You know why, Carl? Because I've got to spin the wheel of consequences.

So let's talk about your consequences. All right. There's one you might find a, find offensive, objectionable. Okay. So number one is winner's choice. Okay. Now, because you took so long to do your book report. Fuck you.

I did remove. I did remove past the spin. Oh, fuck you. All right. All right. But since you did your book report, I'm willing to put it back on.

Yes. I'm willing to put it back on. Just to be fair to you. Because I know how uptight you are today. Well, it's not that I'm uptight. So you can't just like take things off that you don't want because you know I'm spinning. Okay. Well, I had to come up with some new things because I'm already getting all your money.

Oh, Jesus. Number five. All right. Go ahead. What the fuck. All right. What do we got? Two, do something generous and kind for your co-host.

Exactly. Yeah. Number three, Tom Meyer's stand-up. Listen to all available albums in a live stream. Wow. Winner's choice is number one, obviously. Number four, doubled $200 to podcast, Hitman. Okay.

That could be fun. I have a letter I haven't even opened up from podcast Hitman. Yeah. Maybe we do that on Friday. Yeah. Well, actually, no, on Friday, we're supposed to be doing something else on Friday. If you're not signed up for our Patreon. or the other ways you can get behind the paywall on the creep off,

consider it. We've been putting out some banger bonus shows this past Friday. We did three cop cam videos. By the way, the Tyreek Hill video, you know what you didn't show on that? What part? Was the police chasing him down? How fast he was going, how long, how fast the police had to go to get up. You're right, I didn't.

He was going 60 and 40. No, that's what the press release said. He was definitely going faster than 60. Okay, I don't believe it. There was a reason why this cop was fired up by the time he got to him. He was putting a lot of people in danger. It is why they call him the Cheetah. Carl, number five is a great one.

We watched three different cop cam videos on our bonus show, including the Tyreek Hill Cop Cam and two other fantastic ones. And this Friday coming up, part two of Maddox with Tab Bert. Joining us, we're going to get to more of the ridiculous shit that had to do with the fallout between Maddox and Dick Materson, all the hot goss that led to the lull suit and much more. I love it. Now, number five, Carl, you want to read that one to everybody? cow bikini trick-or-treating now this is absurd yeah you just have to go to like three houses

do you know cold it is I live in western New York but you know how cold it is on October 31st around here cold is what you're worried about okay cold is the issue actually you know what maybe I'll go down to my Florida house for that then actually could that be a fun way to meet the neighbors yeah cow bikini trick-or-treating all right uh number six cardiff electric tattoo I'm sure Lockheel's slap it on you for you All right so here's the question His real actual face

Or the stupid potato avatar Your choice My choice Do I have to get it just On my back The full size of my back? Get it wherever you want it And it can be as big or as little as you want it

Yeah Cardiff electric tattoo We got to take that one off the porn I'm not going to get card of electric tattoo Okay Not tattooing myself with a creep off any Number seven

Wear Laterhausen Okay That might be a fun episode Where do we wear a later hosen to Octoberfest? Uh, no, just around, just around. Maybe ride your bike. Maybe on a bike ride you have to wear your later house, maybe, and go to the

hopper house and Buffalo? I think a bike ride. I think a bike ride. Uh, so number eight was a five episode podcast series, which is one on a topic of the winner's choice. So here's what I'm willing to do. Okay. I will put past the spin at number eight.

No, number six. Just, just swap. Listen, I was going to switch podcast. Okay, fine. Just make it easier. Number six. Yeah. Okay.

Because run back. Why did you think I was going to get, is that just a joke? I was hoping that, so here's what I was hoping what happened. Yeah, not to me. I was trying to play this because I knew there was like two of these you might be upset about, the cow bikini, trick-or-treating, and the cartilage

tattoo. Yeah. And I knew I could totally make you force you to only get rid of one of them. Motherfucker. So you're like, if I put the tattoo then he'll keep the cow bikini. Yeah, pretty much. Wow. Yeah, it's psychology. Diabolical. I'm not a great guy. So I'm going to hit

that fun song from our man, Mr. Magenta. Carl makes his way in here. Come on and give that wheel a spin. Someone but five wins. Spin it so the pain can now begin. And if you're pissed that people vote. Here he comes, folks. Don't watch your co-host glow.

Give you a little light, Carl. All right, buddy, go ahead. All right, you want to put the contours is back up again? Sure. number six yes yes that's bullshit oh fuck yeah bullshit fuck yeah oh wow did i deserve that go all the way around after that should that go all the way around watch it back on the tape it definitely did after the cheating and everything that went on oh i deserved this one this is a real this is a glorious day this is a glorious day this means

that Vinny now has to spin the wheel. I've just passed the spin after a sweep, after a 5-0 sweep. Well, this didn't turn out the way I wanted to. This is fantastic. All because I was nice to you. You were never nice to me.

You've never been nice to me. All because I was nice to you. I'm waiting for the day. I let you put past the spin back on the wheel and it was supposed to be number eight and you demanded it. What did you do? I don't know.

I don't know, man. What did you just do? I don't know. I don't know. That's not seven. Look, it's on seven. It's on seven. It's not on six.

12.5% chance and I nailed it, baby. All right, Vinny spins and he gets a winner's choice. Fuck. All right. I have to do this. I'm going number three. Tom Myers' stand up. Listen to all available albums on a live stream.

This is happening. Let's go. I should have, maybe I should have consulted the chat, but I'm just feeling good about number three. all right all right motherfucker this is an exciting conclusion to this week's

creep off wow this is good stuff I'm going to get you for this hey I just want to remind people if you're on the WATP Patreon Supercast or YouTube channeled

if you're joined up as a member I'm doing a bonus show tonight at 8 o'clock with Blind Mike Geary a crossover show with Mike Well, it'll be half good then I'm going to be in a good mood I don't care I don't care

All right everybody I'm going to be in a good mood tonight The wind has been taken out of all of my sales I'm fucking done What a day How many this is really turned on man I was really hoping to see you go Cow bikini trick or treating

And I'm just glad you didn't make me do that So uh You just ran into DeMar Hamlin This is what just happened to you Wow he's got your bell ride Dude Like after the two a thing And then this

This is just fucking Oh, I'll definitely stream it to wire Christian It'll be a live stream I've had to do those before How many albums does this asshole have? Four maybe Oh, Christ, that's like four Four, that's like four

It's more than three Oh, you know the motherfucker doesn't have a full hour though, right? Hopefully the guy has no way this guy's a full hour I can't imagine he's got he has had four hours of material All right guys But what he considers to be material, who knows? I could write that shit up in a day all right guys i'm going to do it and i'll do it quick i'll get it done we do have one more

super chat that we didn't get to yet and it made me laugh when i saw i come in carlos frost and tips two bucks is congrats george floyd four years sober congrats george floyd all right proud of you buddy that that's all i got i'm out of here fucking bullshit it's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice it's not important to be nice I'm never going to be nice again. I've never shown anybody mercy. Let me tell you something, motherfucker. I'm the best of this game.

I'm the excellence of execution when it comes to the creep off, and I will not be done like this. Oh, I'll do your Tom Meyer's stand-up. I'll do the consequence. And you know what? I'm going to do it with style. I'm going to walk that aisle. Tom Myers can suck the dick.

Carl can suck a dick. And let me tell you some of true believers. We're going to march all the way to the promised land, brother. Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, Vinny. Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, Vinny. B-I-N-N-Y Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, Vinny Vinny

Biddy Fucking hate your guts. Vinny!