The Creep Off - Episode 274: Fully Shaved

Episode Date: August 11, 2025

Join Karl, Vinnie and special guest Anthony Zenhauser (@thezencomic) from the Uncle Rico Show on the Shuli Network as they make their nominations for the biggest creep in Canada! On Karl's Cop Cam we meet a father who's only crime was dropping off his children at 110 mph: In the Scum Parade we meet a bad brother, a worse father and a man who felt the need to cuck his 12 year old step son. Don’t forget to vote for who brought the biggest creep at thecreepoff.com.  Check out this week’s scum parade stories here: Inver Grove Heights motorcyclist charged in crash that injured sisterFamily realizes iPad stolen after Delta flight, finds thief’s explicit photos on the iCloud – WSB-TV Channel 2 - AtlantaMan Punches Son, 15, Into Seizure & Again Because 'Someone Answered the Phone Disrespectfully': PoliceMan Found Guilty of Raping Stepson's 12-Year-Old Girlfriend After Previous Child Sex Abuse ConvictionThe score is currently Vinnie 1 - Karl 1 – Guest 3 visit thecreepoff.com to vote and decide this week’s winnerWant more of the madness? Support the show on Patreon, Supercast & Backed.by to snag exclusive merch and get an extra bonus episode every week!Don’t forget you can leave us a voicemail at 585-371-8108Want to support the show? Find us on Patreon, Supercast & Backed.by to get exclusive merch an extra bonus episode every week! You can follow our results girl Mahalia @mahellllyeah

You're listening to the Carl Network. Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things. If you're a kid, don't get on here, okay? See, that's how you do a disclaimer, okay? You tell the kids that get out to fuck off the damn page. I'm going to give the people what they want.

sensation horror shock I'm gonna deliver the goods because I'm alive and I'm not backing down cuckoo coo cuckoo Disgusting, vomit-inducing thing.

Ola, creepos, welcome to another episode of your favorite true crime podcast, the show about creeps by creeps for you creeps. How is my energy, Carl? Perfect, buddy. Just check it. Yeah. Welcome to the show, everybody. It's a big one. Carl is here.

Say hey to Carl, folks. Hi, Carl. Hi, Carl. All right. Got anything you want to say? No, Vinny. It looks like I got some sun this weekend. I was out at the pool a lot.

I was out at the Hootianani Festival. Yeah, how was that? It was great. The A A Stub had a great set on Saturday. And then I went back and saw Mo and a Dark Star Orchestra, a Grateful Dead cover band. I went there with Lucy Tightbox last night. I didn't realize that she's a closeted hippie. And so we were watching that.

I counted no fewer than five mistakes in their first two songs. And I'm like, listen, the Dead made mistakes all the time. There would have been 10 if it was the Grateful Dead actually played. Right. But still, I would think that they would learn the songs since they're a cover band. playing the songs i was a little weirded out by that what what parts were they messing up like the actual lyrics or just like the music the bass player was hitting the wrong notes and there were wrong chords being played it was a little sloppy i was clay dabbler you're such a nerd

okay i'm just letting you know about my carefree fun weekend that i had all right it's a monday we're all back at it we all got to face reality hopefully i don't have to face reality anytime soon Why would you? Why would I ever have to face reality? Why would I ever have to face reality? Point double point coming up at 4 o'clock today on the Horthy's podcast channel should be interesting. I wonder if you have anything to talk about. We'll have a few things to talk about. Great. Well, let's remind everybody about the show that they are watching right now. Carl had a nice laid-back weekend, not eventful. This competition today, though, I'm sure you brought it because this is a contest, right, Carl? Yeah, this is the only true crime show you're going to watch where the two hosts compete to bring the biggest creep in a certain case. category. Vinny and I will both present who we think is the biggest creep from Canada today. And then after we present our creeps, you will go to the creepoff.com and vote for who you thought brought the bigger creep. And of course, once one of us gets to five victories, the round is over and the loser has to

spin the dreaded wheel of consequences. And so we keep score and we keep track. And we do that with our results girls. Now, Carl, before we bring in our results girl today, I have to say, you and I aren't the only ones who are going to be bringing in the biggest creeps from Canada. Oh, no? But we're going to talk about that in just a second. Let's get the results from last week from today's results, girl.

Can I get a Mahalia's here, baby? Hello, happy Super Chat Monday. Happy Echo Results Girl Monday. Hold on, I forgot to play her jingle. I'm a hell yeah. Hello, hello. How goes it, gentlemen? It goes well, great to see you.

Thank you for being here. I'm excited about what news. may be bringing us today? I do have some news. First, though, I got to say this economy pretty rough. I personally have been trying to think about the quickest way to three grand

in the dabbleverse. I have options. I could punch Carl in the face or I could get paid to send Aaron to jail. Yeah. What do you think would be easier? For me, punch Carl in the face.

I'm thinking about it. Hold on. All right. Someone tell Kevin brought to the tune. If you have to pay up in a minute. You keep talking. So, my hell yeah,

last week, what was our, what was our category again? Creepiest camp counselor. Okay. So, who won that shit? What were the results of the voting?

Mahalia. I came here. Let's stick to business. In the category of biggest creep camp counselor, with 75% of the vote. Oh. The winner. I know.

The winner. is Carl and David Danger Well done. Well done. Well done.

Creep off listeners and viewers. You got this one right. I did bring the biggest creep last week and was so rewarded with a point, a much needed point. All right. We're tied now, right?

One to one. It's one to one. On this round. Al and 32 is now tied. One to one. beautiful round what 32

Jesus Christ we've been doing this a long time we've been doing this for five years but wow we started right at the beginning of COVID like a month before anybody knew what it was remember yeah we used to do this when the club was completely shut down comedy wasn't allowed

yeah and to talk more about the shutdown in COVID Gino's joining us on the show hey Gino take it away oh no he's not he's not here oh thank God Mahalia thank you for being here where can people follow you people can follow me where people are followed at

Mahalia. That's five L's. Better get it right. All right. We'll put a link to it in this episode. We'll see you soon. Mahalia, we'll see it. Obviously Hackomania. 3.0. It's not too soon to start looking ahead. All right. See you then.

Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit news. That was good news. That was well done. All right. So listen, I teased a guest today because there's going to be someone competing for a point for the guest cat a guest column carl you know currently it's one one you and i but the guests have three oh shit so if this person wins this week that means that uh the guests will be on game point joining us

from the shuling network please welcome anthony zenhauser hey zen you see that lady k you see that this is the uncle riko show what's going on zad good to see you buddy not much uh vin brought up Vinny, I'm sorry, Vinny brought up recently that we're both getting sued and that's going to be exciting to talk about on PDP later, but I told him he's also involved in some shape or form, he's trying to back out of this whole, I'm with the dabble verse,

I'm with Carl. What do you mean I was trying to back out of it? Carl knows how does that he's back? Because I'm like, that affects you too. He's like, how does that affect me? I'm like, it affects you too, brother. We're all getting, we're all going down together after he fucking successfully sues us for $600,000. Well, after he wins,

if he wins, and Carl has to sell one of his houses or both who knows yep who knows i mean it's really not going to affect me i stand by that uh with friends like viny right no but like i'll go to court and shit oh yeah you'll report on it of course no no i'll go to court i'll testify for you or john whoever i don't want you anywhere near there really nowhere near there hey you know what it is up it's it is super chat monday that we're celebrating today before we get into our category of creepiest Canadian. And I want to thank the people who are celebrating with us. Anywho. New members, Carl. Thank you very much for becoming a YouTube member. Of course, you get the bonus shows. Wow.

Let's talk about the bonus show we did last week. Are we allowed to? We sure are. Out in the open. The first episode of Weight Watchers, our secret club that we're in with Dick Masterson, Johnny the Audio Engineer, you and me, Taylor from PCA. and Dick put together a phenomenal presentation for that. I really enjoyed it. Yeah, Dick did all the work. No, you did great too, Betty. Jesus Christ, it's like fucking... Another wife. I know, no, you're also sweet.

Thank you. You're the hotter one, though. But how's my energy? It's fine. I remember when you said Dick Nasserson did all the floor. I'm fucking with you. I'm thrilled to be a part of it. We're basically piggyback off of what Dick has already done with a great

signing the deed is called Fat Watch and the idea is to make a supersized fat watch and create a fraternity as Carl said with the Weight Watchers. And it's a little bit like the No Mam Club from Married with Children. They have stole direct inspiration from it.

But maybe some elements of that going on. Anyway, that was a great bonus show. If you're on a YouTube member or if you're on our Patreon, you have access to that. That's what I meant to say. Bethany Klein is a new member. Thank you very much. Bethany.

Nailed it. Chris Prymer. Thank you for the Fiverr. The stuttering John Army is ever vigilant, Lady Kay. When the Duke says wait for it, he means it. Your next log cabin, Larry. Boom. Yep.

Bagsley, new YouTube member, thank you, sir. Drunk Engineer, thanks for the $5. Nice to see Carl showing his face. I figure it'd be halfway to Costa Rica to escape justice by now. This is a green screen behind me. I'm in Costa Rica. He's actually on a plane on his way to Thailand. Right.

Don't ask why he picked Thailand. Riley and friends, thanks for the Fiver. Vinny is the most energetic, Cubby, chubby co-host who wears hats. I agree. It looks good, though. I agree. Not so chubby anymore, man. You're looking sveled. Working on it.

Listen to the YouTube. Fatties compliment each other. Zed, you look great, baby. Next picks, thanks for the 279. Always love it when you two take us Canucks down a peg. Well, you guys need it up there. It does need to be done. You guys are getting real snooty up there. Riley and Friends, thanks for the Fiverer. Weight Watchers was already amazing. So imagine how great it'll be when Johnny fixes his

audio. Amen. Yeah. His internet connection was not great. Uh, weird comments, uh, been a YouTube member for 14 months and he used his free post to say, hey, I'm a YouTube member. Cool. We see you, buddy. We see you. Uh, Jimmy I, thanks to the five dollars, Zen can make fun about lawsuit. He doesn't have to pay 50k in legal fees like Carl and Julie. Plus he has Dordash to fall back on. Right. That's a good point. Well, so do Carl and Shulie. Well, maybe more Shully than Carl. I don't know how Carl would do with Dordash. I don't think I'd do well. It's a lot of stairs. It only doesn't work after dusk on Fridays, though. So he doesn't make a lot of that good money.

That's a good point. Well, guys, I believe it's time for a contest. It is going to be Creepiest Canadian round two. And because Carl won last week. That means he has to go first. Zen, I'm going to give you the coveted last spot today. You get to close us out on this. And Carl, why don't you take it away, buddy?

All right, I bring a creep named Ashley Kirillow. and in 2009 she discovered a lump on her breast, Vinny. This is a very scary thing. Well, at least she has two, right? Vinny, this is no laughing matter. All right, buddy. There's a lot of people who are affected by this,

and Ashley was one of them. And the news did report on this in my clip number one. All right. All right. This woman's story of her struggle with cancer unleashed a wave of compassion and donations of cash. But now there's a different story.

Breyer Stewart explains. So she did start up a little charity, and she did some events to raise money for this illness that she had. And it gets worse than that in my clip number two for this woman. Okay. She kind of looks like your sister-in-law. She claimed her parents were drug addicted and disowned her. Other times, she said they were dead.

Online, Kirillow told people, I've been battling several types of cancer for over a year now. Every day is a challenge, and I have to fight for my life. How horrible is this? So her parents are drug addicted and dead, and she's got several types of cancer that she's battling every single day. I mean, she still is able to put on a smile, which is great. Did Carl bring a fighter?

Cancer as his creep this recovery? She is a fighter, which is great. And as I mentioned, she started up this change for a cure. And that was a thing. online where people could donate money to her because she's not able to work and she's going through these treatments and well what year are we talking here? This is 2009

okay um going into 2010 because yeah she's been struggling for over a year and uh yeah this is reported on by the news and my clip number three Kirlo started change for a cure a fundraiser for cancer research thousands of dollars were raised

at a benefit concert in this pub alone that money went straight to her and uh It was so that she could live comfortably. And we thought, you know, she didn't have very much time left. It touched me deeply since I lost my dad to cancer. And Burlington put on a huge fundraiser. I have a feeling this woman didn't get a butterfly tattoo finished because she donated money to Ashley.

For my family. Thanks. When we were dealing with my dad, so immediately, as soon as I got her message, we wanted to do everything in our power we could to help her. But then in June on Kirolo's own Facebook page, her parents very much alive said their daughter didn't have cancer. Oh no.

Oh no. Her parents ran out of their out. Motherfucker. Turned out the lump was benign and it was successfully removed. But she's just like, I'm not saying I have cancer now. People will probably believe me. I can shave my head and my eyebrows and stuff

and trying to get some sympathy going. Well, the people who donated all this money to her are pretty pissed off that they got dup. This is my clip number four. Sure. I can imagine. I cried for about two weeks because I couldn't believe that I had been duped to that extent. But after that, the initial anger started to kick in.

On Facebook, her supporters are furious and are calling for a police investigation. Some of her friends still think she needs help. She's sick, not cancer-wise, so she needs treatment. I heard everybody started a benefit to give her. cancer. So do you have a link to donate? This is crazy. So not only is she raising money on her website, but

they're throwing these events for her to raise additional money. She was visiting children with cancer in the hospital for photo ops to show that she's in the hospital with these children. She was just showing up and be like, hey kid, selfie. Yep. In addition

to that, listen to this, many, she accepted a vacation to Disney World. There's a skateboarder up in Toronto. Rob Dyer has an organization Skate for Cancer finance the trip But she's like yeah, cool, I'll go to Disney World Sweet It'll make my day a little bit easier Do you think that there's something like this happens

Where she gets caught in a lie And it gets it just gets too deep And she has to keep going with it Like she thought that maybe she'd be able to get some perks out of Get you know, people thinking she had cancer But then it just starts to snowball Into like this horrible chain of event Kind of like that guy from the league

Who said he was in the buildings on 9-11 Steve Ranzizi. Yeah. Where he told me a total couple friends and then all of a sudden like being brought up in interviews and shit. He's just like, ah, yeah. Then I had to jump out and use my shirt as a parachute. Like the story just got nuts. No, I don't think that's what happened because what she says is her explanation was.

She pretended to have cancer to make up for her family giving her an unhappy childhood. Oh, okay. Okay. She had an unhappy childhood. This all makes sense now. Ashley was charged with several counts of fraud with one count of fraud of over $5,000. She surrendered to pull. police. In November of 2010, Ashley pled guilty to defrauding this Donna Mikolaowski, a woman

who had raised almost $7,400 for her. None of her friends or family, this is great. None of her friends or family would post bail. They're all pissed off at her. So she sat in jail for weeks waiting for her trial to come around. And eventually, Ashley was sentenced to 10 months of house arrest, filed by five months where she would have a curfew. So that is my creep, Ashley Kirillow, who. who faked cancer and raised a bunch of money for herself and went to Disney.

That's pretty good. You know, well, white people will go through to wear du regs, you know. Right, yeah. It's not a great look, but but it's comfortable when you can't let your hair. Yeah, for sure. Carl, I want to... Yeah, that's scummy dear. I'd like to introduce you to my creep.

I was accused last week of taking it easy on you. Okay. So, uh, welcome to this week. I want to introduce you to Dale Merle Nelson. He's, uh, he grew up in British Columbia. He was 31 years old around the time that picture was taken. He was that taken in 1912? Like in the 60s. Okay. Well, actually, I think that was 1970, that one. He was 31 years old. Like I said,

he worked as a logger. They don't have Kodak up in Canada? No, we didn't ship it up north. Okay. He's a logger. He's a husband, father of three. Behind closed doors, home life was kind of dark Carl. The neighbors had heard rumors about his drinking and his temper. His wife, Annette reportedly wore sunglasses a lot and wore a lot of heavy makeup, if you get what I'm saying. Yeah. There were also disturbing allegations that his children were not spared either. So earlier in 1970, he tried to commit suicide. And that was a crazy thing back then.

They threw him in the nut hot and then they let him out because he had to get back to work at the logging. Did that make him happy? I bet that cured it. No, but it didn't stop his spiral. He just started drinking more. So I'm going to talk to you about one day in particular, guys. I want you to know about September 4th, 1970. That's all we got to talk about.

That afternoon, our boy Nelson here, drove into Creston, British Columbia, hit up the liquor store. Six beers and a bottle of vodka. Nice. He that headed to the Kootenay Hotel where he drank eight more beers with friends. He chatted about the upcoming hunting season. That's nothing. I could drink 14 beers and you wouldn't even notice. Sure.

Acting completely normal, nothing to hit anything was wrong. He leaves the tavern. and then he realizes, you know what? Fuck, I let my friend Maureen borrow my 7mm rifle. I got to go get that from her, so I go hunting. Yeah, good point. So he's drunk as shit, drives over to his friend Maureen's house, picks up the rifle. This is him entering her driveway.

I have the audio of it. That's him. He gets his gun back. He drives back to town, buys a bunch of ammo, and then stocks up on more beers. At the King George Hotel, he puts away another six beers. before joining friends in a hotel room. Who's counting? Let me, come on, guys, whatever.

Three or four, six, whatever. Jesus. Such a narc. Well, listen, I'm just telling you what the facts are. Okay. So around 10.30 p.m. He's hanging out with his friends. They're drinking even more.

And around midnight, he leaves. Okay. Instead of going home to his three children and his wife, he drives over to the home of his cousin, 32-year-old Shirley Wasick. Now, he knew that her husband, Alex, wasn't home. So here's what he did. He goes to the back of his truck and he pulls out a fire extinguisher.

He puts his rifle over his shoulder. He also had a pistol and a knife. And what he does is he goes and he knocks on the door. And it's very late at night when Shirley's like comes to the door all groggy and kind of cracks it. He blasts her with the fire extinguisher. Fun. Kicks the door in. That's a fun prank.

Oh, good. It gets better. Then what he does is he takes the butt end of the rifle and crashes and smashes their head in with it. That's not a prank. Right in front of the door. I remember that from the animal house. they did that. Yeah, that's where he probably saw it from.

Yep, yep, 1970. He saw it on Animal House. He then tied her hands behind her back and left her on the floor of the living room. So then he gathered two of Shirley's children, Charlene, who was eight years old and Tracy, who was seven. Uh-oh. He then went into one of the children's bedrooms where he forced the 18-year-old daughter, Charlene to give him a blowjob. Luckily for her, he enjoyed it. Oh, okay.

I was going to say, so she's good at it. Okay, good. Right. And he let her live, you see. The same camp, he said, for the. the sister Tracy who was seven who was sliced from her head to her vagina so she gave a really bad blow job is that what you're telling me he also caught her from ear to ear through the mouth so if that answers your question wow uh Jesus around that point the 12 year old daughter who was asleep in the

house woke up because she heard her mother's cries from the living room she goes down there sees her mother in a pool of blood with her head basically smashed in just going she unties her mom that's when nelson comes out of the room after murdering the other daughter and sees her she grabs the fire extinguisher that was laying there and she starts chasing her through the house, right? So they're running through roofs and she takes the fire extinguisher and she smashes out a window and dives out the window

and runs for help. She gets to the neighbor's house and guess who she calls? The Mounties. Okay. So the Mounties come running, Carl. And when they get to the house, Nelson's truck was still outside, right?

They go inside, they find the woman. woman dead in front of the house. They find Tracy, the daughter, stabbed and carved up. Charlene was fine. She was just like, she's kind of learning to give a good hand. The cops thought that

this guy ran away. So they start running around the house looking to find him. They start looking for trails or whatever. They go across the road to see if anybody had seen anything. They're warning neighbors, all in like this 20-minute span. They all left the crime scene, Carl.

problem was he never left either he was standing in the front yard hiding behind a bunch of bushes watching the cops investigate everything even though he still had his rifle out of he didn't shoot the cops he just sat there and waited and when he realized they all left he was like oh fuck i forgot something before i get out of here he runs upstairs and grabs little dead tracy's body and the only reason they know this is because when the cops get back to the back to that house to continue investigating they see a trail of blood leading from the house to their cruiser car, they saw that the car had been opened

and that there was blood smeared all inside of the car. The cops left their car there? Yes, but they took the keys. He thought he was going to take the cop car with the dead body. Why did they leave the scene of a crime like this? This is ridiculous. Because they were looking for him. They were trying to figure out, this is 1970. They're idiots. I'll send

some other guys to look for him. So, dude, it's Canada, dude. What do you expect? It's bizarre. Oh, no shit. So he took the body. He's like, fuck it. I'll just take my truck. throws her body in the truck and disappears down the road into the night. Why would you want that body? I bet it'd be pretty gross at that point.

We'll get there. Okay. Shortly after this, another 911 call comes in. This time from a woman named Isabel St. Armand, who lived a few kilometers down the road, yeah. She called the cops, said, there's a man outside her house with a gun. Please come quick. The call was disconnected. Before the Mounties could arrive, my boy over here, Nelson,

kicked the door in, shot the father Ray Phipps in the head, then shot the wife, she tried to run. Then their 18-month-old son was down there. The mother had brought the son down with her and put the kid down. She tried to run away. She left the kid. This dude blew an 18-month-old's head off. Wow.

Like the kid's head was like fucking gone, according to the reports. Did he survive? No. Oh, okay. No, gone. So then there were two more children, or three more children in the house, two boys both shot in the head in their bedrooms. And as the Mounties are investigating this,

they start talking to the neighbors. And they said, well, where's their daughter, Kathy? And like, oh, there's another one? They couldn't find Kathy Carl. And they couldn't find our boy Nelson either. The next day, police found his car. In it, he left a hammer, which had human hair stuck to it, didn't look too good for Kathy.

Oh, boy. within 40 meters of the car they found a human arm then a head then a leg and eventually the torso with the remaining arm and legs still attached so dead then yes that was little tracy from the first house right now autopsy revealed the post-mortem on her showed her internal organs had been removed some of that tissue was missing entirely and the pattern of cuts were consistent with deliberate removal rather than post-mortem animal activity we'll get there fill you in on that in just a minute. So later in the day, they found Nelson asleep, I guess probably pretty tired, a little hungover from his long day the night before. And he was arrested. And he was like, oh, what did I do? And they were like, well, you murdered a bunch of people, you hoiser. And he goes, oh, did I? Oh, shit. You know what? There's another one down the road here. Let me show you where I left her. And he walks the cops 200 meters down to the final body. And they found Little Kathy tied up to a tree, completely dead.

She had been sodomized, stabbed in the back, gutted. Next to her was a bloody, empty wine bottle. And remember those autopsy results I told you about the first girl? Yeah. So they asked him later, after he's been arrested and in prison, what the story was with that. And apparently he had attempted to eat part of Tracy's organs, but he didn't enjoy the taste. Yeah, I wouldn't think he would. So, but what he did add, and I wish I was making this up.

So if you want to mute this for a second, go right ahead. Oh, boy. He added that he did find some undigested cereal in there and that he did snack on that. Come on. You're making this shit up. He had a bowel of cereal, Carl. You're making this up. I'm not making this up.

No, a little of cereal. You're just making shit out. I'm not making it. Did you ask, did you ask chat GPT to create a story for the free? No. Just go Google it yourself, motherfucker. Nelson went on trial for the murders of eight people, Carl. He claimed insanity and then he also claimed that he was doing LSD. The jury didn't buy it.

In March 1971, he was convicted and sentenced to life in prison. Prosecutors made it clear that if you ever got parole, they'd try him for the remaining six murders. So they only found him guilty on two of them. And they held the other ones over his head if he ever did get out. If some judge ever did let him out, they'd put him on trial again. You know, I've done LSD before. I just want to listen to music, you know?

Yeah. I'm not even interested in murder or rape or, yeah. Watch, go someplace with bright lights. Sure. Have fun. You don't eat cereal out of a dead girl. No, I never have. Nelson died in prison in 1999 at age 59,

leaving behind a community still haunted by the night of this fucking terror streak. So that is my creep this week, guys. I really hope you'll go to the creepoff.com and vote for Dale Merle Nelson. Thank you, kindly. All right. Well, Vinny, that was,

uh, decent. Not as creepy as my creep, but, uh, pretty good. How do you fucking figure? I mean,

oh, I, I tricked people to send me to Disney world. I mean, my creep was a creep for over a year. Your creep had one night where he was kind of off his game. But whatever. Whatever.

I don't know. I, I feel like it's less creepy and just more disturbing. You know, like I feel like to be a creep, it's, it's, that's like an overkill.

Yeah. What the word creep is. I think Vinny took that one a little too far, don't you? With that story you made up? Yeah, I mean, we can all look up Canadian serial killers and bring up a creep like that. But I feel like there has to be something really special about that person. Eating cereal out of people's entrails, that is something we have to factor in. That's a new one.

We've covered a lot of crazy shit on this show. That's a new one for me. He said he found undigested cereal and that he did eat that. He fucking cut open this girl's bowels looking and fucking like, oh, this isn't good. your food people amen and it probably wasn't even good cereal we're talking like back in this 1970 um be zen you got a creep too right buddy you brought a creep to yeah i do yeah yeah i do um were we ready for that or do you have something else to head no go right let's do it i go all right yeah this guy didn't kill anybody but uh i think he's he belongs in the creep hall of fame

in canada people in the chat might know who this guy is they probably grew up with him uh Fergie Oliver was a game show host for a show called Just Like Mom from 1981 to 1985 For that he was a sportscaster He used to cover the Blue Jays He played a little Amateur Baseball when he was younger

From Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan And he Is known for this show Just Like Mom It's a show kind of like a, the newlywed game where a kid and their parent are on the show, and they have to see. Do they win a romantic weekend together? Not that part.

They ask questions about the parents and they see how well the kid knows the parents and vice versa. Usually it's with the mom, but if that the kid was, uh, what would your son say your pussy smells like? I think your mom is making whoopee. Yeah, right. Like hot garbage. So he was the host of that show. And then after that, they would bring the parent back and they would go back and forth to see how well the parent knew the kid. Right.

Then they would have this amateur bake-off at the end where the kid would make some shitty baking product. And the parents would have to find out whether or not that was their kid that made the shitty food. So it wasn't a really popular show. But it did run for 595 episodes because it was Canada. I don't think they had much going on. But didn't have a lot of great reviews. He is known. This guy puts Richard Dawson to shame as far as game show hosts and being inappropriate.

Yeah. So you telling me he fucks all these kids' moms. Yeah. Richard Dawson knocked up one of the contestants. I wish he was going after the mothers. This guy, talk about. Right in plain sight, not even one of those guys with the decency to do this behind the camera. He was a total and complete creep where he would get really close to the kids and ask them questions, steal kisses from them.

And when I mean steal kisses, I mean forced them to kiss him publicly on camera. And everybody was kind of cool with it because it was 1981 to 1985. They didn't have a lot of problems with that, I guess, back then. You were allowed to kept kids no tongue on television in the early 80s. He was being, right, he was being doting. You know, he was, he's just kind of like being affectionate to these kids. So after that, a lot of these kids came forward and were like, yeah, that was pretty uncomfortable. I really didn't feel that was appropriate.

And he is known. I didn't like the taste of his jizz. Is that something I should complain about to the producer or should I tell the showrunner? Who should I tell? I'm trying to answer the final question. He keeps putting my hand on his boner. It's a fucking, how am I supposed to concentrate? If you watch the first, well, the second video I sent you in,

it gives you a little background for who this guy was. And I have to talk slower. I'm sorry, I must be stampeding through this because I'm so excited about it. I was almost going to call you, Lori. How could I miss? Oh, it's very easy. You're both very pretty. And you have green eyes.

They're not blue. Now, don't tell me that. Hold on. He got her eye color wrong. He's that horny. He couldn't tell the color of her eyes. Okay. We've done that before.

They're green. Jesus Christ. Is this against YouTube terms of service? Have I allowed to show that? Get a room. What the fuck? What the hell? Holy shit.

Yeah, pretty disturbing stuff. And not just with this kid, but a lot of the, you, young ladies that were on the show. He was actually married to his co-host, who was a Miss Canada at some point. They didn't last long. They divorced probably in the late 80s. Yeah,

but he is still alive. Say it again? Once she got out of elementary school. Yeah, she aged out of the Fergie Oliver business. But he is still alive and well. No allegations were brought to him. No lawsuits.

Really? He kind of got away with it. free. I mean, he is known across the internet for being this huge horrible creep. And it's a Cinderella story. The guy, you know, he made it. He's great.

He's doing a great job. I would like to answer this question in the chat. Is that a young Cardiff on the show? Yes. That is Cardiff Electric as a child. Is there more to this video? I want to watch more of this guy. Is there more on this? There's more to this video, yeah.

But there's also, um, the other video I sent you. It's just a little introduction on who he was and what his background was, but I pretty much told you. He's just a game show host with a dream and a pension for young girls. Wow. All right. I just got to see more of this.

He's such a creep. I fool you. Oh, when you slow down like that. You talk about getting married and having a family and things like that. It's just the fact that he's that close to that. I mean, that doesn't give you that chill of just knowing that

he's that close to him. The kid doesn't look comfortable. No, not at all. Very comfortable. She did not anticipate this. He looks like Jim Ross a little bit, and that makes me uncomfortable, too. What do you do? Plus, that's that sucks. And you're 11 years old for a date.

Where do you go? What are some things you do? Is he asking her where she goes out of date? That's weird. Are you fucking kidding? That's a little weird. Hold on. We just walk home for school with each other. And you walk home from school with each other.

What route do you take? What category? Do you hand out kisses, Jennifer? I'm assuming that music came in in post. It wasn't part of the show. I crawley, I did that. It was sweeps. Not really.

Stop pulling it. Not really. Can I have a hug and a kiss? I can't have one. I mean, this should have been called The White Van with No Window show. Even if I say, whisper in your ear that Allison, you're going to win the show. I still can't have a hug And a kiss

Well, I guess you can't win the show then If I don't get a hug in a kiss Jesus Christ What are you doing? We can't air this on TV It would have been nicer if he If he blew her head off And gutted her from her neck

To her vagina A Jordan Greer, he is giving off some Joe Biden vibes What if I was smelling these girls hair? What if I told you I was going to tie you to a tree? You hear that? What kind of cereal do you like? Yeah. You hear that?

That's a good answer. Oh, you? She said no. She said no. All right. Turn it on. This is too much. Yeah, turn it on.

Yeah. But that's, that's, this is pretty much. He's still alive. He's still around, huh? Doing not a care in the world. I mean, this guy is literally. in his best life he did get it he did uh escape the public eye for the rest of his career kush commander's like please stop absolutely uh it's very it's just it's too creepy yeah uh

but yeah he's doing well uh he's not on social media surprisingly enough really probably he does have a podcast carl can review oh we can get him on this podcast i think okay i would love to have him on the creep off uh all right zen well done zen that was pretty fucking good for your first attempt. Not bad for Canada, right? Not bad. Folks, I will let you know right now, this very second, the voting is up and live at the creepoff.com.

So, you know, maybe open up another window, go over there and vote. We'll take a look at the voting before we finish the show today. But let's take a second, Carl, and finish up with our super chats because we've had a bunch coming in. Captain Blackbred, thanks for the Fiver, sent a late voicemail. It's important. Don't forget to play it. Also, happy Super Chat Monday.

Same to you. Do you have that voicemail, Benny? Yeah, I have voice smells. I'll play it when we get to voicemails. Great. Just asking. Tickle me Tuckie. Will Cardiff be a part of today's show?

Kind of. In our hearts. A young Cardiff we just saw. Tickle B. Tickle B also says no discount on clip. Oh, hey, Tickle Me Tooky. That's pretty good. Rock o'er B, thanks for the two bucks.

I'm willing to guess that cereal wasn't all brand. Of course not. Stuck around in the colon for a while. Michael Cia down and my creep this week is Carl's hair stylist. Wow. You've gone too far, Michael C. Riley and Friends, thanks for the two bucks. A real serial killer.

Love it. Nice. Michael P. Thanks for the 499. Welcome to 1970s Canada. Our cops are dumb and the cereal is undigested, but the teenage had his first straight. Go Bill's.

Michael P. Oh, Canada. Oh, Canada. Carl, I know what time it is. Do you know what time it is? I think it's time for my cop cam. I can't wait to see Carl's Cockcam. Fight with the.

The cops for no reason. Will you please show me cause cop can lose all your rights. Ruined your life. Why, you stop? We got a wild one today, Benny. Oh, I can't wait. Oh, Gavin sent this in. Thank you, Gab for sending this.

Clip number one. We're going to meet this fellow Zachary. All right, here we go. Why did you stop? I'm stupid. On the night of December 1st, 2004, police in Bryan, Ohio, respond after a Walmart employee calls to report that a man with outstanding warrants is shopping in the store. The man, Zachary Srivanka, is wanted in Indiana on vehicle theft charges. Okay, so for some reason, this guy's wanted for stealing a car, for some reason a Walmart employee knarks him out and calls the cops on him.

Hey, that guy who was stealing cars in Indiana's in aisle three. Yeah, right. It's like, wow, fucking employee in here. How does this guy know? I don't know, but he calls the cops, the cops show up, and as he gets to the parking lot into his van, the police are there to talk to him about this warrant. And he does not want to talk to the police about his warrant. In fact, we're going to see that he decides not to talk to them and leave his girlfriend Abigail behind. My clip two.

As police arrive, Zachary is sitting in the van, but he won't be sticking around for a talk. He's his girlfriend. Zach. How's going? He's going to. He's out of there. She looked so confused. I know.

She's like, what the fuck's going out of here? Oh, Jesus Christ. I look at her face again. Oh, hello, officer. How are you doing? She looks like a nice lady. Works in a library. He's running.

All right. So the pursuit is on the chase. on and we're going to learn some important details in my next clip here. Okay. The officer gives pursuit. When you're a cop going up to the car, you know, start with, hey, sir, can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah, yeah. Hey, car, I'm like, fuck. It's a really good point. It's a really good point. You do not want the police to know your name when they first meet you. The officer gives pursuit, but the chase is especially risky because Zachary hasn't just abandoned his girlfriend Abigail in the Walmart parking lot, but has escaped with their five-year-old daughter and nine-month-old baby boy in the van.

So you hear the officer is asking, should I be in pursuing. He's setting southbound. South Maine. Not to mention the door is wide open on the back of a van. Yeah. So it seems like you don't want to be driving real fast under these conditions. Unless you have a net that you're following them with, you could catch the children as they're thrown from the van. That would be helpful. Yeah. Well, we're going to find out how fast he's actually going in my clip number four.

I guess they decided to keep chasing this guy. And the officer notices an unknown object flying off into the median. 3220 notes. Speed is in excess of 110. I think you blew a tire. We're heading south on 1.27. 110 miles per hour He's taking this turn

And you see something go flying out The cop thinks he probably blew a tire out Or something Was that a nine month old debris Well We're going to find out In my clip five We're going to show a replay

Of what one flying out of this car Oh no I like all the ooze I got on my clips But I mean, come on guys A nine month old baby Flying out of a car at 100 miles an hour That's cake he advised

doors open we're turning in the heat of the chase the officer doesn't know the full implications of what he's just witnessed okay something's bouncing around

something's bouncing out of the medium bouncing baby boy yeah you know I don't know why the show isn't more popular I really try to promote it it's just I don't know it's the problem

Do you remember this segment used to be just drunk women yeah get thrown out of places well so he says a message back to his girlfriend to let his girlfriend know that, yep, an oopsie just happened. He messages the girlfriend.

Yeah, check this out. So not only through all of this, he's chasing the cops at 100 miles per hour, a child is followed out, he's texting and driving as well. It might have been a phone call, I'm not sure. Oh, dear. Everybody with a nine-month-old baby, please text me back. Not so fast, Abigail. But after a nearly 15-minute chase, the police.

The police sergeant calls it off, citing icy road conditions. He's heading less bound on six still. The conditions on this December night are frigid, which makes it all the more horrifying when Zachary calls Abigail to tell her what he did with their baby boy. I dropped from heading towards defiance by the stop sign, and then there's a road that has a curve where you can go towards like Hicksville. He's going to left him right there by that stop sign

where the curve is. Can you take me there? Do you know, do you think he's telling the truth? I do. Zachary's message to Abigail isn't quite the whole story as police will later learn when they review the dash cam footage. Yeah, he's sugar-coting. It shows that the object flying from the van was no tire.

It was Zachary and Abigail's nine-month-old baby, still strapped into his car seat. Like I was like yeah So I dropped our kid off You might want to go find him As if he like just pulled over This is going to be dangerous here You wait out here

Your mom will be up back shortly I don't know why she's so upset She's the one that put the car seat in You know Right yeah good point Dads So Abigail gets in the cop car And they're like

Let's go see if we can find this baby And the search is on In my next clip Is that the baby Is that a car seat? Oh my God that's a car seat there Okay, okay, okay, relax. Oh, God, please.

Oh, no. Right. Right. We're all having a bad day here. Yep, yep, yep, you're fine. He's okay. She is. And then the 18-wheeler comes through, just hits them all.

Oh, my God. Baby boy. We'll be on the curve on 126. at the stop sign with that child. Mama's such a lot. Keep him on the ground. Keep him on the ground. Get him out.

It's so cold. I know. Get him out. It's okay. Mama's here. Mama's here. Jesus. This kid's still alive?

That's crazy. You know, when we grew up, there weren't like body cam footage. Not everyone had an iPhone and was filming everything. Like the shit that kids are going to be able to go back and see when they're adults. Like, I'll never tell you the story about what you're, dad did when you were nine months old

check out YouTube this is crazy you're never going to believe this shit it's a new age for parenting it's going to be wild for these people to realize this god damn that kid's drinking out of a straw for the rest of his life though you know what I mean? He's not going to have a fruitful life well let's find out

with the injuries she has to breastfeed this kid forever clip number eight we're going to find out about the injuries he wasn't wearing a helmet he's wearing a helmet now for the rest of my son I know Here. There you'll be a baby. Stay in the car.

Is she breathing? Is she okay? Yes, yes. Breathing. According to the police report, the baby had deep tissue bruising and was transported to a children's clinic in Toledo for further examination.

It's not until the next day when Etterton police get a trespassing complaint that they find Zachary. Okay. So this guy gets away. I don't know why they chase it for 15 minutes just to abandon that. That seemed pretty dumb on the opposite.

There's still another kid missing. Yes, that is true. So we're going to find out about that. My next clip, number nine, here. Oh, no. It should be noted that police found Zachary's van parked in a field behind the bushes the previous night. He'd also left his five-year-old daughter at an undisclosed location before disappearing on foot. Police department?

Got one running, Central. Stop for me, send the dog. You better get on the ground. Get on the driver, I'm going to send the dog. Just send the dog. Dogs out, dogs out. Dog's out. Good.

This guy really does not want to talk to the police. He's really trying to avoid it. I'm sure he knows that they want to have a conversation with him about his parenting. I think that's what it is. He doesn't want to face that. Sure. Um, so, uh, I, I labeled this one, dog one, Zach zero. Fuck yes.

Stop! Stop on. Stop on. Stop! Stop! Get on the ground. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Get out of the ground. Get out of the ground. Get out of the ground. Fuck them up. Oh. Help. Help.

Oh. No. No. No. No. Oh, come house. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Stop, please, please. Stay still. Stay still. Even police dogs like to unload on these perps a little longer than they need to. Yeah, they show that dog the footage of the kid of the carrier.

I was like, I'm taking this fucking guy out. He was pissed. All right, well, I just have one more clip on here. You have two more clips here. Oh, good. I didn't label that in my notes. So let's find out why this guy decided to run from the police. Why did she stop?

I'm stupid. Huh? I'm not smart, I'm dumb. Yep. All right, what's you got going on here, Ralph? Let me see. Your nose? Did you hit your face on the ground or something?

Yeah. What'd you do, fall? Huh? Yeah. It soon becomes clear that Zachary has paid a high price for his folly. Well, you might be lucky you had a couple of layers on. Yeah, maybe. Huh?

Maybe it's sore. I'm sure. Don't feel good. Good. All right. I guess some stuff to clean it up. Well, if you don't put your coat back on, that's fine. Even with a significant dog bite,

Zachary's concerns center around the cold air, the tight handcuffs, and his missing glasses. He doesn't utter a word about the health of his baby son. I would love if this video took a twist and they were like on his side. Like they were, they were Team Zachary at this point. It's a good thing he had layers on Or that dog really would have heard him Yeah, that dog went way too far with this

What the fuck So he's got a dog bite on his arm He smashed his face He's not doing well And I still feel like it's not enough But he's such a crybaby about it too He's been such a little bitch That's yeah

And he took the reverse Fredo defense too He's like I'm stupid I'm not a smart man Right yeah Not like everybody says They all say I'm so smart I'm smart They can give me everything.

I'm responsible. All right, the last clip I have out here, I believe, is what the charges will be. At the police station, Zachary would characterize his decision to race away from Walmart as a dumb decision. And admit that he wasn't thinking about the kids. The ER doctor would later say that the baby's body temperature was extremely low and that the situation could have become life-threatening if he'd been left out in the elements much longer. police also located Abigail's five-year-old daughter and notified her about the child's safety at the hospital. Zachary was charged with two counts of failure to comply, one count of trespassing, one felony count of assault, and two counts of endangering children.

That's it. I think he's going to get into some trouble. That's fucked up, man. That should be attempted murder. Yes. Easily. I mean, it definitely would have been homicide if it's not like he would chucked the kid out. He just took a turn and the kid went flying, but.

And that his story was, I dropped him off. I dropped him off, yeah. You don't want to go find our son, dropped him off. I'd have a real rough night, honey. I dropped the kid off. Yeah. I can't believe they found it so quick. They found that baby so quick.

I mean, this is just a big open road in the middle of the night. Yeah. Impressive. Hey, Carl, I'm going to hit up some super chats. We have here. Captain Boomy's coming through with 50 bucks. Whoa, what's all this then? Nice.

Captain Boomey's had herself a fab floating weekend. Let me on to win another guest point. Zenhauser nailed it. Point in the bag. Oh, stop it. Stop it, Captain Boomies. Listen, is it your fans? We got to go through the vote before we know.

That's true. We got a couple more coming through. But Captain Boomies, thank you so much. We appreciate your support in the show. Yes, thank you very much. Ebnie, thanks for the 499. Creepiest Australian sequel episode. start with a young Einstein movie star Yahoo Sirius

who's been found squatting in an elderly neighborhood's house elderly neighbor's house. Is that true? That's funny. I think it's pretty good. I want to check that out. I will check that out. I'm absolutely into that. I want to find out the story there. Do you remember that movie? It was terrible, wasn't it? It's a classic.

You like it? I don't remember it. I don't remember it. There's nothing about it. I think I failed a few tests because I thought it was historically accurate I was writing about it. Oh, fuck you up. I hate what that happens. Okay. Didn't I have what Einstein have done rock and roll?

Because I think he did. Next picks. Thanks for the 699. The three great contenders, boys. Still, I think the biggest gay creep is either former PM, Justin Trudeau, or current Prime Minister, Mark Carney. Yeah, I brought Justin Trudeau. So he was off the list for today.

Yeah. Carl proved that he was Fidel Castro's illegitimate son. That is correct. That is correct. You got to have to find that one and tune in to get all the last. the details. The Creep-off voice-wall segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse. Syracuse, come for a mad max like Hellskin.

Stay because someone stole your catalytic converter. See you in Syracuse. Howdy Carl and Vinnie? A late message here from Blackbread. So Vinnie, you sent me an email. back when I sent in my stinger and you asked for the link to my show

so would you mind telling everybody how you felt about that? Like, tell everybody how the show is, you know what I mean? Do it. Do it. You fucking won't. Oh, pure garbage. Drivel. What was the show? I forgot. I don't think I looked.

He said, you know, he calls in all the time. He talks about his show. They were trying to invite to Olive Garden Waitress on. Right. And I said to him, hey, send me a link. I'd be interested to check out your show. I was interested in the moment, Captain Blackbread. It doesn't mean I'm interested forever.

It doesn't even mean I'll follow up on it. Jesus, you're being a real dick. But maybe one of these days. This guy is super chatting us, leaving us voice bells, a very urgent message. You're like, oh, fuck yourself. We're covering your show on the next episode of Who Are These Podcasts next time I'm on. Maybe he's just like, oh, shit a hat. Cares about you.

I did listen to you. I mean, I'm sorry. I will. I'm just kidding. His show isn't terrible that I know of. We'll let you know. I have a voicemail that came in, please. Hey, Carl.

Y'all, this is probably for the Creepov, I guess. So, y'all should have the Rock Gone Mad Instagram owner on y'all's, you know, on the show, as I guess. Or at least, like, steal some of his content. That shirt's so funny. Makes you laugh all the time. All righty. Talk you later. Go back and so.

You familiar with that, Rock Gone Mad? Yep. I know who runs it, too. You do. Yeah. Maybe we should have him on the creep off. All right, there you go. If it's who I think it is.

Good answer. I get it. I don't think so. All right. But it is a great Instagram. Absolutely. We got some crazies around here. There was a video from the parking lot of my gym.

Yeah? There was the cops had a dude, like what they had, the cop had his rifle out, like holding some white dude. It's in Monroe Avenue in Pittsburgh. Weird. Like a gunpoint in the parking lot. Because he threw a hammer at some other guy on the highway. Like he was in a fight on 590 and he threw a hammer at a car.

car on the highway, then tried to escape, and the cops caught him in the parking lot of my gym. A lot of fun stuff happening in Rochester. Hey, Vinnie and Carl. So a lot of the consequences on the wheel of consequences are a dabbleverse WATP related. And I thought, why don't you guys branch out and have stuff that's a little bit more mainstream? And what I thought about is watching the movies of the worst director of all time, Coleman Francis. All three movies are available on YouTube. You can watch them for free

and the loser has to do a live stream of watching all three movies. Carl, you feel like watching more terrible movies? I do it a lot, but who's Coleman Francis? I'm familiar with that. He tells us a little bit more. This is a pretty long voicemail. They're terrible

movies. I don't think that they're more than an hour and 15 minutes, hour and 20 minutes each, but they're God awful. And I think that that would appeal to movie fans and, you know, fans of bad movies, you know, all the consequences are just, you know, like some are funny, but some are like dabalverse related. Okay, he's going to shit talk you having to do your stuttering John's stand-up competition. You know, let Kaylee watch bad movies. We don't watch bad movies on the creepop, all right?

We like to watch good movies, guys. We did go see naked gun, Vinny and I on Friday. We laughed like maniac. I heard it was great. There were a couple of things where Vinny and I have. I think we missed three or four jokes in a row. We were laughing so hard. There was one stupid line in that movie that I've been quoted for like a week.

It's amazing. All right. More voice mails. It takes it dumb at the end, though. One more time? It'd get dumb at the end, though. Very. Very.

The first half of the movie is very good. Two thirds even. Yeah. Last act fell apart. I swear to God, if I get decapitated and use one of those little paring knives you used to cut apples, I'm going to be fucking pissed. Thank you for letting us know, sir. Okay, I'd be bad, too. I like all the constructive criticism you get with these voicemails.

It's great, isn't it? How to make your show better. Wow, you guys should really watch these movies. That would make the show way better. So helpful. Hey, I was the guy who a couple years back gave you the creep report of the guy who used to be my friend had so many images of CP, even on a Zoom player and like 10 different devices. You know, I think Carl's right.

If he would have worked harder, if he would have done a little more, he probably could add a lot more if it weren't for those dastardly feds that got to him first. Well, I'm glad they got to him. Yeah. So you're a legend, sir, for telling us your friend had child porn on a Zoom player. Yeah. Because we've been making that joke for forever now. It's amazing.

But no, we want the feds to catch him. We don't want these guys to work hard. honestly if you're out there and you're looking at that stuff no one's going to catch you be as willy-nilly as you want start email out of the round definitely save it on Google Drive yes put it into your Google Drive you say this voicemail for me yeah Zen here's a tip Google will not know I don't worry about it yeah and you know you could honestly

it's 2025 be flipping tell a friend what you're up to sure yeah you never know maybe they'll be into it too you never know I have one more voicemail for us here Vinny go right ahead Hey, this is for the creep off. Hey, Carl, hi, Vinnie. The other day, I picked up a hooker, and she said, listen, I'll lick your butthole, and I'll finger your ass, and I'll do all kinds of cool stuff. But instead of cash, I need a double cheeseburger and a large Diet Coke. And I went, ooh, fuck out in my car.

So, I mean, is she there? Hang on for it. Can I get a large double cheeseburger and a large Diet Coke? Yeah, that's it. Thank you. Anyway, my decree for what she'd be creepy for offering to with my bubble. So I'm not really sure. So, all right, I make payment.

Have a good day. Don't call me back to me. Please, seriously, stop calling me. Sometimes they just do skits when they call into the voicemail. I think the most offensive part of that phone call was his accent. That's not great. Fair enough. What kind of Maryland-Baldmore bullshit?

You had a dark coke? You had a coke you like his but howl? What in the name of Tom Myers is this guy talking about? Carl, great voicemail. Are you ready for a scum parade? I am. Now, I need to take a second and remind everybody that I'm a stupid idiot. Uh-oh, you don't have the new... No, I have it right here. But when I announced the winners, when we announced the winner last week, I said it was Malort Savior. It's actually a group called Malort and Savior. I didn't realize that because of the email title. So I want to make sure I get that right. So make sure you're following

at Malort Savior. And you can find their channel on Spotify. Let's hit the music. It's time for us to listen to the scum parade with darks and murder drugs and jaywalking. You'll hear about a guy who fucked his door and catch up on the news this week. I want to hear the scum parade. Where's the scum parade? Where's the scum parade? Where's the scum parade? Thank you, Malort and Savior.

We truly appreciate you. Carl, I want to introduce you to this guy. This is Lonnie William Corey. What the fuck is happening over here? Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Olive's causing another ruckus. Hurricane Olive!

Here we go. We might have to put a moratorium on dogs at the studio. This keeps happening. Oh, she's all right. Don't worry about my dog. I wasn't. Let's talk about this man. He's 70 years old.

He's a motorcyclist from Inner Grove Heights, Minnesota. And he was riding with his sister on the back of his bike. Sweet. Last Saturday night. And apparently the tour were reporting. returning home from a bar in Wisconsin back into Minnesota, and a witness observed the motorcycle traveling around 80 miles per hour and giving the middle finger gesture to a vehicle

before crashing into the back of another car going 80. Luckily for them, Lonnie is a great biker. He was able to stay on that bike, but his sister's ass went flying. You know, in his defense, he was wearing his t-shirt that says, if you could read this, the bitch fell off. So it was appropriate. this motherfucker leaves his sister there in the middle of the highway Oh no

Drives up to the next on ramp like exit Gets up there There's cameras there He turns out and looks back at the accident Turns around it drives back the opposite way Passed it all it goes home Nice He's like oh yeah she probably didn't make it

All right well I'm out of here nothing I can do He's not a paramedic he's a biker Authorities identified and located the motorist via his license plate During the encounter, he asked unprompted as if his sister was okay. He admitted he knew she'd fallen off but got scared and kept driving. He also acknowledged he had been drinking prior to the crash. Field sobriety tests indicated an impairment and breathalyzer registered a blood alcohol content of 0.127. You know, the worst part is this is going to get brought up every Thanksgiving now.

You know, the sister's not going to let this go. You know, you're a guy with three names. You've got to expect these things to happen. Don't get out of a bunch of guys. He has three names. Come on. Well, you know she's going to be pissed. because every Thanksgiving, she says to put all of her food in a blender now.

Well, that's that too. All right, let's meet. It does say she has severe head injuries. Let's talk about this creep, Carl. You have anything you want to say about these people? This is wild. This is a fun one. July 19th, 2023, a family from South Carolina, the Brewers, flew Delta from Charleston to New York, then onward to London.

Upon arriving in London, they realized their child's iPad and a pink Peppa Pig case had been actually left on the aircraft. So they left the airplane on the first, or they left the iPad on the first plane. Correct. Got on a second plane all the way to England and didn't realize it? Apparently. Until they got off the plane.

And I would make fun of that, except for I left my computer on an airplane once and didn't realize it until the next day. So I'll keep my mouth shut. That is true. Back home, after they just figured they lost the iPad, they were just like, yeah, we fucked up, trips over with, that thought they never see it again. The mother begins receiving strange messages about the device.

Using Apple's Find My app, she tracked it to Jamaica Queens, though signed out of their account, the iPad was still sinking to their eye cloud. Initially, the uploads were selfies, but these showed a man wearing a Delta uniform and a visible name badge. Who the fuck uses an iPad to take selfies? This fucking weirdo. That's weird. Then between August 27th and September 3rd, pornographic videos of the same man masturbating well in uniform and with the badge appeared in the family's eye cloud. It's filming themselves jerking off. What is this?

going on here, Benny? Delta Airlines employees, Carl. I guess so. The lawsuit claims, because they are suing now, the thief also accessed the family's iTunes account, created a personal profile, and even hacked into their Amazon account where he created a new profile titled, Gay. Okay.

This guy rules. I didn't realize it they're all pranks. That's actually really funny. If I find an iPad, the first thing I have to do is take a video of myself jerking off. The Brewers filed a lawsuit found report with Delta on July 20th. They filed a second one after discovering the explicit videos, but only received an automated no reply email.

I also love these wearing the Delta stuff in all these videos. So like if there's a company you hate, like I don't commentate to Carlson or something, you can just put that shirt on, you know, it says staff on the back, and you're just whack it off on this thing. I'm going to do it right on the stage. Great idea. Right on the stage. Get some footage.

And mid-July 2025, the family filed a federal lawsuit alleging negligence, emotional distress, sexual assault, and harassment. They sought damages in a jury trial. a spokesman for Delta stated the accused is not a Delta employee but works for a vendor reaffirming the Delta has zero tolerance for unlawful behavior

but technically jerking office and completely unlawful right? That's not an unlawful behavior stealing an iPad is not in this country right? I really hope

I mean what a way to ruin your vacation right? You're just trying to have fun in England and you keep getting up there's another one of them masturbating it's cupping the balls on this one oh look this one kind of looks like

one of those fuzzy hats that the guys in the fucking head pals were wearing. I really hope some of the big lawtubers take this case on. Like, I'll give Nick Ricada a note on this one. This is one I think needs to be covered. Yeah, agree. But that one hit close to home, right? Yeah.

So he's used to getting caught masturbating and being in those kind of situations. So what happens when you jerk off on your kid's iPad? Nick, tell me more. I just do coke off of mine. What the fuck's wrong with this guy? All right. Carl, I want to introduce you to this guy. This is Matthew A. Proctor.

He allegedly beat up his 15-year-old son triggering a seizure and then beat him up while he was convulsing. The violent episode stemmed from Proctor's anger over someone at his home answering the phone disrespectfully. Proctor arrived home at around 11 a.m. on, I believe, was July 29th, demanding all of his children come outside. So I see he must have read the parenting book penned by Alec Baldwin. Correct. A confrontation ensued. and then he shots the child. That didn't happen.

I was just saying he was doing the Baldwin thing. Yeah. He shot the. Well, you get it because he shot that guy. I was more referring to how Alec treated his daughter, but he's pretty bad guy in a couple different scenarios.

Has anybody here ever heard of yes and? Anybody here? Either one of you two fucks. Yeah, he shot him, Vinny. Right in the face. Yes, and it was a bad joke. It's my fault. This whole thing is my fault.

So basically, he calls everybody out. A confrontation soon. His oldest son reportedly yelled at his father, and the dad lost his shit the second he raised his voice and punched the kid in the face multiple times. After falling to the ground and entering a seizure, Proctor allegedly continued to strike him. And then he took his younger brother with him,

got in the car and drove off. I'm going to be honest. I think this guy deserves to be spoken to disrespectfully. You notice? I see this is a total, this is just a whole example of tough love. You know, this would have happened to us when we were kids. My dad's wouldn't have tolerated this kind of thing.

You're going to disrespect me? I'm going to come over there. I'm going to beat all you kids up. Yeah, the kid went into a seizure and he kept punching him. I feel like, you know, at some point, if you're trying to discipline your kid, when they start seizing, maybe it's time to think they learned their last time. That's how he got into the seizure. That's how I'd get him out of it.

Don't you ever see those, those ebnesia shows where a guy gets clonked on the head. He gets, he loses his memory. Yeah. Got to clonk him back on the head. Well, far be it for me to tell anybody how to raise their children. That's what I say. So he's in a lot of trouble. He faces felony child abuse charge,

punished by up to seven years in prison. And the preliminary hearing is scheduled for August 27. I have a question about this article, Vinny. Sure, buddy. Why the fuck is it so long? I'm trying to prep for PDP this morning. And I just keep reading this article. It goes, ah, and I was like, we get it.

The guy punched his kid. And they kept punching him. Do you notice how I did it so quickly? I read it too this morning. And I'm like, more? Like, do we need to know more about this guy? Is this guy famous? There's something where there's so many details.

I don't even know why this is a story, by the way. Dad punches his son. Does this happen every day all the time? Well, they usually don't go into seizures and they don't usually keep beating them. I know. This kid will probably be a famous comic when he's older. Can't wait. Can't wait to see what he does look like he has a podcast at Gebhardt's though.

This guy really does look like Opie if he had it more together. He looks like a less unhinged Opie, doesn't it? Yeah, Opie with this shit together. This is leashed Opie. It's Opie. with conviction. That's it. Let's meet this guy, this gem. This is Christopher Stephen McGee, and he is a, right now he's being held prisoner, but really, he's a prisoner of the heart. He was found guilty on Friday of second degree rape after he allegedly cultivated an ongoing

relationship with a 12-year-old, who was the girlfriend of his stepson? Dad! Fuck! Fucking cucked his 12-s! Do you imagine walking it on that? Really, Dad? I can't forget any of my hot 12-year-old girlfriend. friends over to the house, can I? A child abuse, sex abuse investigation into McGee was launched in December of 2023

and suspicion he might be engaging inappropriate behavior with the minor. After previously having served time and been placed on the sex offender registry for the molestation of another 12-year-old girl in Texas. He's got a type. What they found was evidence that McGee was allegedly targeting another 12-year-old girl, this time

the girlfriend of his then stepson. McGee, who was 34 at the time of the alleged offenses, was suspected of grooming the girlfriend to engage in a relationship with him. According to court records, in January, McGee had been held without bail since at least the beginning of November. He started sending

messages to the girl, devoting, explaining his love for her. Oh, what a simp. Imagine being in love with the 12-year-old girl. Ugh. What a loser. What is he telling her, too? Like, oh, that other 12-year-old girl means nothing to me. You are the only 12-year-old

girl in my heart. To wait for me. I mean, listen, here's the thing. This might be the perfect situation for him. He dates his 12-year-old girl. She's not dating anybody else. He'd keep her on the hook. And by the time he gets out of prison for the other one, boom, she might be 18.

Yeah, 18. What do you want with that? Good point. It's a weird way to father your kids. You know, it's like, hey, eat your vegetables or I'm going to fuck your girlfriend. He had some conversations with the girl's mother, Carl, which I thought was interesting. The mother shared it with detectives. She said that

he said that he wanted to discuss what was going on, and he said he has feelings for your daughter, adding that he wanted to marry her when she turns 18, if it's still her desire. The man allegedly wrote to another, I will respect her youth and look out and protect her. You know, if you lived in Afghanistan, this would be no problem at all. He also added, he also added, he did add, you think I'm leading her on or manipulating her? I'm not. Yeah, she wears the pants in this relationship. Your bossy little 12-year-old is really putting me through it. Through the investigation, police found enough evidence

to confirm their suspicions, including a photograph of McGee kissing the girl, explicit social media messages, and a nude photo of McGee in the girl's possession. Eventually, the girl did open up with detectives reportedly telling them about two times she and McGee had sex. Jesus. Stating that in both cases, they would meet in public places like the mall. This defendant's behavior is pretty disgusting, and he is going to be back in prison for sentence or back in court on September 19th for his sentencing.

Carl. All right. Well, hopefully he'll go away for a much longer time this time around. Now, I think he's going to like it. He seems to enjoy it. He seems, you think the first time going to prison for pedophilia might be a rough go for you. Yeah, you think you'd change your ways a little bit, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think he would change his ways, but then he liked to stick around. He was like that guy in the bushes after he killed all those people. Right. It's very sloppy. You know that or not. You're taking pictures. Are you kissing the girl? It's not a good way to do it.

You know what I always say here, kids? It doesn't matter, you know, the logic here. The heart wants what the heart wants. That's true. What are you going to do? I have seen people do crazier things for pussy. That's true. I have seen people do crazier things in statutory rape.

Maybe not. Yeah. Shut up. So it's a super chat Monday. We're finished up that celebration on here. Richard Lucas. I want to watch Kaylee and Lucy watch bad movies. All right, we can make that happen.

All right. Both of them? Together in one place, that's four boobbies. That's crazy. I think those are the names of Kaylee's tits, actually. Oh, interesting. I thought Lucy was the name of something else. But what do I know?

Carl, this has been a hell of an episode. Zen, thank you for joining us. Where can people find you? And what do you want to plug today, bud? Oh, man. Well, first I want to plug, of course. Comedy at the Carlson, September 13th. I'll be there in the Rickles Room one night only.

standing room only. I think there's no seats there, but I'm hoping they're going to put some seats in for me. That's going to be September 13th. Go to Carlsoncomedy.com and grab those tickets. Shrilly Network, the Uncle Rico show at the Zen Comic on Twitter Instagram. Thank you very much.

Please do it, folks. And if you're up in up to St. New York, come by comedy at the Carlson, if you've never been. This is a great chance to go. Come see Zen. Carl, you have point-dabblepoint today at 4 o'clock. I do. I have to get running. All right. And everybody, just want to remind you that there will be a bonus episode this Friday. If all goes well, I'm waiting on the confirmation.

We will be talking with Douglas King Jr. From Predator Poachers, Long Island. Awesome. We're going to have a whole great conversation about what it is like to look these fucking rat scumbags in the eye and call them out. It's got to be a good feeling, I wager. We'll hear all about it on Friday. Until then, it's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice.

Goa, yeah. It's the cream off. It's the cream off.