The Creep Off - Episode 277: Top Heavy

Episode Date: September 1, 2025

The Creep Off returns with a familiar category Creepiest Walmart Employee! Once again, we’ll dig into the disturbing stories of workers who proved sometimes it's better to go to target.Don���t forget to vote for who brought the biggest creep at thecreepoff.com.  Check out this week’s scum parade stories here: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/barrista-kidnap-bid-503916https://people.com/election-official-accused-slipping-drugs-into-granddaughters-dairy-queen-blizzards-11799640Louisville grandmother’s front porch assault caught on camerahttps://nypost.com/2025/08/27/us-news/cheating-husband-used-bdsm-site-to-recruit-unwitting-accomplice-in-wifes-murder-au-pair-says/The score is currently Vinnie 2 - Karl 1 – Guest 4 visit thecreepoff.com to vote and decide this week’s winnerWant more of the madness? Support the show on Patreon, Supercast & Backed.by to snag exclusive merch and get an extra bonus episode every week!Don’t forget you can leave us a voicemail at 585-371-8108

You're listening to the Carl Network. Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things. If you're a kid, don't get on here, okay? See, that's how you do a disclaimer. You tell the kids that get out to fuck off the damn page. I'm going to give the people what they want.

horror shock I'm gonna deliver the goods because I'm alive and I'm not backing down cuckoo coo coo coo Disgusting, vomit-inducing thing. Oh, la creepos, welcome to another episode of your favorite true crime podcast, the show about creeps, by creeps for you creeps, the show where Carl keeps it professional.

We've got a big show lined up for you today. Join me in studio, the most professional guy I know hot. Carle! What is happening, Vinnie Paulino? I feel like I'm being made fun of somehow. What's going on? Why are you being called professional? You were talking shit on WATP the other day.

Oh, forget. I forget all the shit that I talk sometimes. Yeah, I know. That's why I want to let everybody know. You're looking at a tabler Benedict's star witness. Oh, shit. I've made a powerful enemy having it. Oh, fucking, you've awoken a sleepy giant, my friend.

I'm just kidding with you. Hey, buddy, happy Super Chat Monday. Not only is it Super Chat Monday, it's Labor Day. This is a day when people don't have to work because it's Labor Day. This is bullshit because we already have Mother's Day. We got to celebrate them having babies too. No, no, no, no. You're not understanding the type of labor that we're talking about here.

Like work, like Labor Day, like a workforce. Oh, this is a day for people who work hard? Yeah. Yeah. It's their day to have a day off. Look at us. Look at us two idiots. Work at every fucking day, even on holidays.

Even on Super Chat Monday, it is Super Chat Monday. Yeah, I totally didn't understand any of this. That's exciting stuff. You know, Vinnie, when you don't, when you do a job you love, you never work a day in your life. Am I right, buddy? Sure. Carl, let me know what that happens. I will.

Today's show is a competition, as always, would you like to explain the rules to everything? Yeah, so the creepoff is a true crime show that is a competition between myself and Vinnie Paulino. Every single week, we try to bring the creepiest person from a certain category. Today will be the creepiest Walmart employee. We both present who our creep is, and then you find folks who watch and listen. Go to the creepoff.com and vote for who you thought brought the biggest creep. Once someone gets to five wins, they win that round and the other person has to spend the dreaded wheel of consequences. And the way we find out who won from the previous week is with our results girl.

And Danny is in the house. Hello, Danny. How are you this fine Labor Day? Doing good. Hi, Carl. You are doing good, Dan. Danny. Look at you. You're nailing it today.

Thank you, buddy. It's good stuff. Glad we came in. Danny, can you tell us who won the last time we had a competition? That was two weeks ago. We had the creepiest sibling, I believe. Right. Absolutely. Creepest sibling.

55% of the vote is two weeks ago, I guess. Um, the winner is Vinnie and Paris Bennett. Hard to be. Someone will call Pallelis. He just got to get a video. Gotta give it up to the creepos. So someone please call Pongino. Somebody called Pondino.

Everybody knows it's his show. Because Carls Creek fucking blows. So someone please call Poggino. I would, I, uh, I believe it's somebody's, uh, birthday, a freaking contributor to the show. Would you like to sing a, him, happy birthday in a seductive way, Danny, to really brighten his day? Oh, yeah. Mr. Magenta's birthday today.

Happy birthday. I'm not going to sing, though. I'm sorry. Smart move, Danny. All right. I thought she was going to be like, happy birthday, Mr. McChrynton. We know what you were going for. Danny made the right decision there.

Happy birthday, Mr. Magenta. Great contributor to the show. The ratings. All right. Danny at Danny Desolation on Instagram. Thank you for the good news. Let me change the score here real quick. Yeah, yeah, let's update the fucking score.

Now, this is a relatively new round, man. This is anybody's competition. We'll see you next week, Danny. Take it easy. Competition this week. Fun one, easy one. Who else has to work today? Who do we feel bad for?

All the schlobs work in retail. We love you, people. You are the backbone of America. I don't know how or why you do it. It seems like a torturous scenario. I worked in retail for about six months when I was 16. and yeah I've never been more miserable

than a four hour shift in a media play I can't imagine anything worse that's really bad you had to clean up poop too for some reason yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you always I forget about that you always bring that story up I always forget about that but you did you had to clean up poop while you were

supposed to be selling CDs I would be so upset I got a free t-shirt because it's a good job they could be a media plate t-shirt your fucking job t-shirt they didn't even get you like a cool band one. Yeah, I don't think all these cool band shirts all over the place. They're like, here's a media play shirt for cleaning up shit. Oh, I thought I did this for that cool Metallica one. No, no, no, no. We got to sell that to customers. Oh, okay. Well, I'll just go

fuck myself then. Mr. Magenta in the chat. Happy birthday, buddy. Thanks Danny. Thanks Danny. Yeah, thanks Danny. She's the one who's doing it. Okay. So we decided that today's competition we're going to revisit a place that unfortunately in the words of the great emo phillips i believe everyone goes to walmart eventually especially if they die without christ we're going back to walmart today all right the worst place on earth so ring that bell carl and let's get this conversation going where to begin here i'm going to introduce you to this guy this is uh ronald moseley carl okay he ronald he seems like a nice friendly guy he's got a huge face he certainly does uh he's 25 years old in this picture.

He was working at a Walmart in Evansville, Indiana. Excuse me, sir, I'm trying to see what's on the shelf behind you. Can you just move your, sir, I'm just trying to grab the, can you move your face? I'm trying to get the, okay, can he, never mind. I'm good. So he's an proud out gay man, and he was looking for love, Carl. Okay. Now, he's working at this Walmart, and a situation arose with a fellow coworker.

You see, he fancied this gentleman. And apparently, it turned out that the gentleman that he pined for, was a straight guy. Ah, that's a problem. Not even remotely interested. Maybe he could convert him, though, right? Well, he tried a couple of times. There was a lot of flirtation,

making this man feel uncomfortable. And eventually, this guy goes to human resources. Like, could you please tell the giant-headed black guy to stop trying to fuck me? I'm trying to stock the shelves. Yeah, my job is bad enough without getting molested by this big gay guy over here. And then he's like, hey, go talk to Jerry over here.

Jerry saw it. And so there was a witness to this as well. Okay. Now, that's where things kind of broke down. According to a probable cause affidavit, after they went to HR about Ronald's behavior, he walks through the story and he sees the witness. And he calls him a snake. The witness then told Mosley, he needs to, quote, grow up. That's when Mosley reportedly responded by punching the guy in the face, throwing him to the ground.

Mosley later told police that he blacked out after that. but he continued moving through the store. Police say he walked into the office and found his crushy poo and punched him in the face as the guy was sitting down at a desk. That's not a good way to flirt. But I do understand blue balls can do this to a guy. Certainly, certainly. But he also need the victim in the face multiple times

and then sort of clawing at his eyes. Oh, no. Yeah, not great. It's not good. So that a manager got between the two and Mosley shoved the manager against the wall, his boy toy that ran out of the office screaming for help, bleeding from the face. Police St. Moseley followed him back into the store and continued attacking him. He also reportedly punched another nearby employee.

I'm guessing because witnesses piss him off. Yeah. He doesn't like witnesses, so he punched that guy too. He wrecked up a lot of witnesses with the spree. Yeah, his crush that told the police, he had asked Moseley to leave him alone multiple times. He was not interested in a romantic relationship with him, and this made him angry. And the affidavit, Moseley claimed he'd had issues with people at work and lost control. So what do they do with this guy?

He gets charged with four counts of misdemeanor assault. Okay. Even though I think that he probably should have gotten a little heavier of a charge. Well, I would hope that he'd be on unpaid leave for a week or two as well. Fired, terminated. Oh, terminated for that. Yeah, that'll get you fired. Okay, good.

But even though he's fired, he's dealing with the court system, they put him into the mental health route. They start sending him to doctors. Trying to cure him as gay. Your sentence to six months of conversion therapy. Yes. I like women now. I'm cured. You know, now that I think about it, no wonder it was only misdemeanor charges.

How hard could this guy hit? Right. Right. So you. He's basically deferred to the Vanderbill County Mental Health Court, and he was scheduled to appear for a progress hearing on January 19th in the afternoon. But court records say he never showed up, Carl. Okay. Now, in that six months between him not showing up.

for this very important court date. He had started posting things on Facebook. Like, man, I had a dream about beating the shit out of those two motherfuckers again in Walmart. And it was the best dream I never had. That's a fun dream, isn't it? Yeah, and he's posting it, like, all the time. Like, he's really... You ever dream we just mess someone up real good, Vinny?

Yes. Yeah, it's fun. Feels good. Take me away. I'm in my own head right now. He didn't show up to court on January, but I will tell you where he did show up, Carl. Okay. That night for the night shift at Walmart. Oh, that's, he's probably not allowed there.

Yeah, mostly probably don't want him there. No, no. This time he returned to the store with a nine millimeter handgun. Mm-hmm. He found a dozen employees were gathered inside of a break room for a meeting. That's when Mosley entered weapon rays and ordered them to line up against the wall. In front of his former coworkers, he picked out this woman, 28-year-old Amber Cook, walked her into the middle of the room and shot her in the face. Did we do this story already?

This sounds very familiar. checked it we didn't but did maybe it was a scum parade or something i remember there being a uh employee at walmart employee went to the break room and shot people up yeah that happens a lot okay that makes that happens a lot okay but this guy in particular i don't think we've done we i chad uh what's his name alex our hero check it for me yeah yeah yeah i know nothing gets past Alex I understand yeah shot right in the fucking face okay so then as he's doing that one of these employees just makes a break for the door if you shot this guy you'd have to hit him in the face yeah you can't miss. You get there no other place to hit him.

But you think about this. Yeah. He's got this other woman. You hear the gunshot. You're the one closest to the door. This is another employee. This woman booked it right out the room. So he starts chasing her. That all the rest of them start running. No, he doesn't like witnesses. No. It does not like that. Like a feminine Yosemite Sam, he's shooting up to break room. Everybody's running away. He chases the woman out. Then that woman who escaped runs back in and grabs the woman who got shot in the face and takes her to another room. She gets her out of there.

Boy, shit. He comes back in to finish the job and shoot that woman some more and she's gone. So he panics. Now, while this is happening, it's like 10 o'clock at night, there's customers in the store. There's like 40 to 50 customers

just wandering the store and they're just hearing gunshots and all the employees are running for their fucking lives. So 911 gets called. There's a woman with half a head just sprinting down the aisle. I think we should get out of here. Let's go to Target. dude

if there's ever a reason to go to Target so within four minutes of all of this happening Carl the first shots being fired the police are there 17 cops sheriff's department they start surrounding the store and so what our boy Ronald decides to do here

is hide in plain sight so he decides to try to leave the store I heard there's a shooter what's going on officer he was just going I don't think I want any of these and he's just trying to act all nonchalant but the problem was he was just carrying the gun still So the cops see this idiot

He partially got rid of that Carrying the gun And they go stop drop it That's what he starts shooting at the cops Then he's the cops start returning fire He runs back into the store And they have a straight up shootout out of a movie Wow.

This guy's running through the aisles, and they cannot hit his giant head for some reason. Eventually, this ended with him dead in an aisle, which I'm hoping was the women's lingerie section, just for irony. Good news, Carl. This guy's dead. This is part of the scene from the store. That was the mugshot after he assaulted everybody at his job that one day. And it turned out, Carl, the reason he did this. Because he wanted to suck that dude's dick.

And the guy said, no. Not that dude. That's the fun surprise. He didn't kill his boyfriend. Yeah, his crush wasn't there. Right. So after the shooting, investigators found a suicide note at his house, which basically said, you know, he's going to fucking die doing this. He knew this was going to be like a murder.

Cool. Suicide situation. Good plan, buddy. Now, according to the victim, Amber Cook, the 28-year-old woman's mother that he targeted, it was because Mosley was hitting on her boyfriend. Oh, okay. And then he found out that this other guy that he likes, his fucking girlfriend's working at that Walmart. Oh.

Okay, so that was the final straw. Does this guy know about the apps? Like, being a gay guy, I feel like it's really easy to get laid these days. I would imagine. How do you do it? I just said it. Okay. Get on the apps, my man.

So what do you like the mozzarella sticks or the... What does that mean? I should die. What does that mean? Are you taking Labor Day off, Fitting? What's going on? It was like an appetizer joke. It's like appetizer humor.

Okay. So apparently, for like a month ahead of this, this dude has been stalking this woman. Okay. Following around walking her dog, sending her text messages threatening to kill her, talking shit to the boyfriend. And nothing was done about it until he went into the Walmart and didn't show up to court. Nobody went looking for him. showed up to fucking Walmart.

I'm surprised that she didn't tell the police that this guy was threatening to kill her. She didn't do anything. Interesting. Except get shot in the face. She survived, though, which is good. And you know what the great news is? She ain't pretty no more.

The good news is my boy Ronald's in hell now. So that is my creep this week. Because he's a gay black man? Minnie. No, because he tried to murder people. That's a good point. You probably will. I mean, the gay thing probably doesn't help.

Doesn't help. It doesn't help. What I remember from what I was told as a child. Doesn't help. Good stuff, Vinny. Oh, buddy boy. What do you got going on? Who's your creep this week?

I have a guy down in Atlanta who worked at a Walmart with a bunch of other employees. Name is Dwayne Uda. Dwayne Uta, 24 years old. And one day, he's working at Walmart. And he's not having a great shift. It's kind of annoying. His coworkers are kind of getting on him a little bit, and he's just kind of like, you know, I really dislike these fucking people that I work with.

They're all friends. They're not friends with me. I'm going to go get. a handgun, and I'm going to come back to work. And if you play my clip number one, here is the news report of what went down. Hold on. That's not good. The investigation revealed was that Mr. Uda, which is going to be the shooter,

was inside the store. All three of them are employees. Mr. Uda left the store, retrieved a handgun, re-entered the store, located a Mr. Caliph Barksdale, age 21, of Covington, and shot that gentleman He then went up a couple more aisles He located Ryan Bradley age 29 of Covington

And shot that gentleman Mr. Uda then left Went to a house on Emerson Trail Forced entry into the house Located a female Whose name is Akela Clark age 19 and shot her

Yeah so this guy kills two of the co-workers He's like there's another bitch too He's been really out of my fucking nerves lately So he drives down to her house. So this is a guy settling scores. Yes. Okay. So Akela's mom stated her daughter came running into her room at a 1.30 a.m. Friday morning,

screaming that there was a man in the house. He just, like I said, shot through the bedroom door, charged through the bedroom, applied about seven or eight shots. And that was it, said Samantha Clark, Akila's mother. And then he ran downstairs and that was it. So this guy comes into the house. He puts his way into the house, puts eight rounds into this 19-year-old woman that he worked with. I have audio. I started blasting.

Yes. All right. So then he decided to get into his car and drive 150 miles away to South Carolina. And I guess the police had his phone number or something. Clip number two. Mr. Uta then left the scene when I-20 eastbound towards Aiken, South Carolina, where he pulled over on to the the side of the road. Newton County deputies happened to locate a phone number for him and was talking to him on the phone. He pulled off to the side of the road. They negotiated that he was

going to turn himself in when Aiken, South Carolina sheriff's officer and Aiken, I'm sorry, South Carolina State Patrol located the gentleman. He then shot himself. Mr. Uda is currently in a hospital in Augusta in critical condition. Ryan Bradley is currently in local hospital. hospital in critical condition. Yeah, so this guy, they track him down, they call him on his phone, and he goes, oh, who's this? He's like, oh, we're the police department that's looking for. He's like, oh, hey, what's up?

What's going on? Yeah, you're going to surrender because you know that you, like, shot all those people and stuff? So if you could, like, surrender, that'd be cool. And he goes, oh, I guess. That's fine. So then the police show up, and he's like, you know what? I don't really want to go to jail.

And he shoots himself, and I know what you're thinking right now. How is he doing? How is Dwayne Uda? doing right now. How did it work out for him? Clip number three will give you all the answers you need, buddy. 24-year-old Dwayne Eda died yesterday from a self-inflicted gunshot wound that he sustained during a standoff with law enforcement in South Carolina on Friday. Now, the Walmart here off of Salem Road in Newton County opened to the public again yesterday, just two days after Edda opened fire on two of his co-workers at the store and shot another at their home.

the Walmart that was just shot up two days later, Vinny? Out of curiosity, you want to see if they got all the blood cleaned up or not? Yes. I think I might too. Yeah. I went to the Hudson one after that whole crazy shit. Yeah. Just check it out.

You are that kind of guy. Oh, yes. That makes sense. I very much am into the true crime tourism. I would love to see where a massacre happened. So, Khalif Barksdale, 21 years old, he's the first guy that he shot and killed. Yeah. And I think we need to hear from his sister.

Oh. Let's hear a little bit about the victim in my clip before. I never knew life without my brother. So having to adapt to that is going to be difficult. Yeah, so she's sad. What about this Ryan Bradley? What is his mom saying about the condition that he's in? My clip number five.

Thank God to his coworkers. They help, you know, they all made sure he made it to the Abrams. Ryan Bradley is the sole survivor of Friday's deadly shooting spree that began at this Walmart in Newton County. He's still recovering in the hospital. They pull the tool out, so he's able to talk without, you know, hard to, you know, breathe and talk at the same time. You know, it's got to suck. You probably don't get on TV all that often if you're Ryan Bradley. And then the one time you're on television, it's photos of you in the hospital bad. That's not really my most flattering photo. It's kind of like what the New York Post did

to me. You're like, I mean, there's other things you can be showing right now, I'm sure. You could always tell whose side they're on by the way they post the picture. That is true. That is very true. So, Dwayne Uda is my creep. Go and vote for me at the creepoff.com. It's interesting. We both had shooters this week.

We did. So I guess, you know, you folks out there, you have to really think this one through. Which shooter was creepier? Dwayne Uda didn't seem to have much of a motive behind it. He just decided, like, one day I'm like, I'm going to go out my guns. They're shooting people. So that's cat's cat. their homes breaks in tries to drive away kills himself i mean he's got kind of a creep

yeah no oh absolutely you know he's more of a scary creep to me though yeah like the thought of the guy who just snaps is definitely terrifying but i also find the giant the giant headed man trying to fuck all the straight guys at his work and then trying to murder their girlfriends kind of creep if you would have just stopped with him flirting with the straight guys i probably would have voted for you but dude i always talk too much i ruin it every time i believe Carl, it's time for one of my favorite things in the world. Before you do that. Yeah. Two things. Okay. One is

for some reason people are not celebrating Super Chat Ponday. I don't understand why that is, but Mr. Magenta, the birthday boy is here. Fine. Thank you. Vinnie and Carl, too. Boston, it was a blast. Love you, Creeps. Thank you. We love you. Back, Mr. Magenta. Yes. Always a good time. And the other thing that I wanted to say before we get into my cop cam video is that you and I had a bonus show

on Friday. We inducted Woke Dad into the Creepoff Hall of Fame. And if you have not seen this episode, I am telling you, you need to see this episode because we really exposed woke dead. You know, we think he's a narcissist and he's, you know, obviously trying to virtue signal all the time on his TikTok page. And Blind Mike and I have a couple walls over that on who are these socials. But we really expose what this guy is all about. He is likely a child groomer.

Did you know that all the kids in his neighborhood know where they can go to get dad hugs? Yes. He invites them often. it's a real safe place to be if you're a vulnerable child according to to Dan Alexander so if you're not on our YouTube or our Patreon consider signing up for that because the new month has started and we put out bonus shows every Friday of course this month's going to get a little wonky because I don't have a lot of travel coming out I'll tell you what though this Thursday there is something oh that's right yes

this Thursday if you want to be part of our secret club brothers there's a secret wigwig happening at you know what sure is join us on thursday oh i think you saw a little teaser for it at the beginning of the show patreon dot com slash the creep off i love it carl let's do your favorite segment in mine let's go i can't wait to see car's car can fight with the cops for no reason will you please show me car can lose all your rights ruin your life We have a fun one this week from Bugle Me This, because this is a combination of dumb and hot that I really appreciate and enjoy. One of my favorite things on the cop cam.

I like it when there's some eye candy. Oh, there's some eye candy today, buddy. In fact, you're going to meet Annette Ortiz in my first clip right here. Oh, she's a little, got some a Latina blood in there? I think so. Ooh. It's a little spicy. Love it.

Police clocked a black Mercedes-Benz SUV, flying 30 miles an hour over the limit. Before the officer could even flip on the siren, the driver, 33-year-old Annette Ortiz, blew through a red light right in front of him. What on earth are you doing? You're going 73 miles an hour back there, and then you just ran the right there before you. I was never going 73 miles. Okay, you were, but it's okay. Do you have your proof of insurance and your driver's license on you?

I have my driver's license around. She's got one of those things. There was no way she was going 73. You heard her. No way. If I was that cop, I would have been so smart to go, like, I must have made a mistake. I'm sorry, ma'am. You have a fine evening, please.

But let me get your, let me get your license and your number. Yeah, yeah. We can make, we can make this go away real easily, you know? We'd be the worst cops. All right, so. We should be partners. That would be amazing. We should go to some real shipburg town and be good, like, run for sheriff.

And like, you and I win. You can be the sheriff. All right. I'll be the deputy. So, you know, we have, like, consequences on the show. What if there's a reward? What is the consequences? The winner gets rewarded.

Go be a cop in a small town. It would be fun. We have to deal with a lot of meth. Your people. Yeah, that's true. I know how to deal with them, though. Ever. All right.

You know, Jessica and I were watching Breaking Band the other day, and there was a scene where Jesse was, like, snorting a line of meth. And I said, oh, look at him, snorting that. And Jessica goes, you didn't know you could snort. And I said, I never really thought about it much. And he goes, well, that's how Carl does it, right? Well, we guys are talking about it. about my meth usage in your normal day-to-day talk that is how Carl doesn't all right um

I don't like needles you know it's not for me why would you it's not for me uh so you heard the officer he wants to see proof of insurance and let's see if she can figure that out where are you coming from tonight I live where are you coming from like where were you at 180 right there but where were you at 46% Where it was at 83 AXK

67783 Proof of insurance please I don't have proof of insurance Sir Who's your insurance company

I don't have proof of insurance What company do you have I don't have proof of your insurance sir She's a smart one Isn't she?

She seems real smart I want to talk to her for hours I don't need to talk to her She seems like a lot of fun Where are you coming from I live right there. How many times have we heard that, too? Why is that a thing?

Why is everyone just like, officer, I'm so close to being home. It's the home-based mentality. Right. You'd be cool, like literally I could walk from, I'll leave my car here. They think that if they could get into their driveway. A lot of them do.

Yes. And you end up getting charges at it on for like fleeing and evading and shit. Who was the DA here in Rochester who thought? Sandra Doreley, that cunt resigned. She thought, oh, she did? Yeah. Oh, good. Yeah, she thought she was home safe because she was in her garage.

Yeah. That's how this works, ma'am. Dude, and then what they do is they pretend like, nope, sorry, I'm home. I got to go bring my groceries in. And you know what's going to happen? If you go into the house and the cop has you detained and you're legally detained at that point, if you start bringing that, he could shoot you. He doesn't know what you're going into the house for.

That is very true. You could be going to there to grab a shotgun. In fact, that's why Vinny and I are going to be signed up to become police officers. Because then we could like legally shoot people and they're going into their house. I got your six, buddy. All right. The field super, so she gets out of the car. They want to do a little field sobriety.

She seems like maybe he's had a few. The officer says he could smell some alcohol as well. So the fields of variety is not going well in my next clip. Oh, God. Put your arms down at your side and follow my finger, please. Three feet together, please. Follow it to my finger. Yeah, he did.

Okay. It's going to stay out there for a second. So just follow it. Keep your eyes out there. Okay. I did do a little test. Did you not want to finish? shit. No, I'm saying I did you

No, I'm not done. Do you want to finish the test? Sorry, how long do we have to do this? All good questions. I already did do it. I already did. Well, she's never going to be able to walk a straight line. She's top-heavy. So she better start paying attention now. That outfit is working. Dude, you know who she looks like, and you're not going to believe me. She looks like Ria Ripley without the goth makeup. Who is that? Look it up. Okay. You told me you thought she was horrible looking, but you're

stupid. Oh, okay. You're a stupid idiot. All right. Fair enough. How'd that to do this? Until we take you to jail, Tommy is the answer to that. But she decides, nope, she is done with these tests in my next clip. All right. Okay, do you want to finish it? No, actually, I'm so down.

Okay, you're under arrest. No, I'm actually not. Don't resist. You're under arrest. You're under arrest. No, for what? For what? Don't touch me like that. For OW, you're under arrest.

Stop, let go to me, let me right now. Stop, you're under arrest. Let go on my arm right now. No. Let go on my arm right now. Stop. All right, don't make this one worse. Stop.

Are you fucking me right now? Bro, are you kidding me right now? You need a combo. No, we're not doing that. Oh, we're not doing what? Hey, send somebody else over here. Oh, that dude, she was grabbing her eyes by and she just kicked. I didn't kick any one.

The bad girl, being real naughty, the police are going to have to figure out how to deal with. How are you all going to take me to jail? I love the people who tell them the cops are not under arrest. That's never worked one time. Actually, I'm not. Has never ever worked. It never will work. It never has worked.

That's great. Actually, I've a shed. Should I have to do. Remember I'm selling my houses right there? so not a convenient time for me. Right. All right. Well, then, so she's wrestling around on the ground, as you can see.

She's being a problem. And she does the thing that a lot of these people do, where she decides the police are the problem. Oh, not her. Okay. Right, next clip. Well, they are the problem, you know, right now for her. For her, yes. I cannot wait to fuck your ass.

To what? Hook your ass. Both of you. I can't wait to cook your ass. I don't know what that means Cook? Yes. Yeah, what's that mean?

Yeah, I really don't know what that means. Oh, it's a cooker? No, I don't know what that means. I don't know, maybe you should turn on your camera. Well, we got three cameras, four cameras on, actually. Is she going to murder them? She's going to cook his ass because he's a pig. And she enjoys pork products.

I'm pretty sure that means I'm going to have you murdered. Yeah, I think that's why the cops. I was just like, can you clarify that? Because this seems like a bad thing to say. Oh, I'm going to murder you all. Yeah, yeah. It might even not be me. I might just hire someone to do it for me.

You know, cook your ass. You get it. After that, she tells them that they have loser energy. It's very funny. It's if they're trying to fuck her or something. I'm like, oh, you're gross. You've loser energy. And my clip number six, she keeps making things worse for herself.

What have I done? Oh, you're driving behaviors? So you're going 73 and a 45. You cannot. You cannot continue. You cannot touch me in this way. No. This is against the law.

This isn't against the law. No, it is. The only thing against the law here is you operating in one of vehicle impaired. Let go me right now. There are four men. Yep, we got a whole bunch of body cams. Let go of me, let go of my body, please right now. No, no.

Don't you dare to pick me. I'm not acting like a child I'm not acting like a child I'm not acting like a child I want don't do that You're under arrest So right now you've got instruction

You've got assault on a law enforcement officer No I'm sorry What am I under arrest for O-WI Assault on a police officer resisting, obstructing. You want to make it worse? No.

Put your foot in the car. Bring your foot into the car. I didn't do any of those things that I can't name. Right. That I couldn't even say if they wrote them down for me. I liked that after fighting and wrestling with them, she's just like, all right, let's talk this out. I think there's been a misunderstanding. I think it's time we negotiate terms on this one.

Yeah. You know what, though? I'm watching all this and I still feel like I could probably change her. Yeah. I think I could make her a better person, make you see the error in her ways. Me too. Um, so she gets taken back to the station. And this is why we should be police officers.

Well, she gets taken back to the station for a, uh, a blood draw because they want to figure out how intoxicated this woman is. And, um, she is not going to give them permission to do such a thing in my next clip. I am telling you do not have permission to draw blood from my body. Do you understand? Uh-huh. So she's saying that they don't have permission. Now, the police officers aren't in the impression that they do have permission.

And she decides, because this is one of the things that always comes up when we watch these videos, that they're actually all in the wrong and that she will eventually be victorious in this in my next clip. I'll box all of you. Are you out of your mind? Dude, I can't wait to sue the out of Oak Creek City. I honestly can't wait to do it. All right. Let's just stabilize her. Let go on me.

She can't wait to sue them all, Betty. I'm sure that'll be successful. I don't think it will be, Carl. Yeah, I don't think so either, actually. So she's very mean. She's very rude to the police officers in my next clip here. I find her playful and cute. Yeah, she's got to be in here.

I'm trying to help it. Because if I could have kicked you in your face outside of my car, I would have because you're losing a piece of shit. I hope you go home at night. And I hope that you get fucking can. answer. Well, that's not very nice. I don't care. That's what I hope for you. Honestly, that's my only wish

for you. So mean. My only wish for you is that you get cancer because I control that with my wishes. That's a good thing she does have a genie lamp. She'd be very mean with it. Shut up. You drunk. Shut up, you idiot. Can't wait. What do you see what you look like in 20 years?

The titties are going to look the same. Sure does somebody pretty good. Because they're fake as shit. Yeah. All right. So my clip number 10 Now she's sitting here realizing that this is a whole scene that's going on. And she wishes she had her phone so that she can be making TikTok videos while this is happening. Her and her wishes. Honestly, I wish I had a video camera right now to make a reel out of this.

Because at least we could all be famous. She wishes that she could be making a reel for the instas because I think it all be famous. Hey, good news, Annette. This video went up three days ago. It has 663,000 views. You are famous. Congratulations on that. I can't wait to see her next project.

So after that, they show her the warrant. They have a search warrant for the blood draw that's signed by a judge, circuit court judge. And she goes, that's a fake signature. That's not even a real signature. They're just like, all right, you can fight that in court. This is a real warrant. It was one of those auto pen machines that Trump talks about.

Right. She's not allowed you. Sorry. So she's not being helpful. obviously. So they decide they need to put her in a full body wrap in order to draw blood.

Oh, that'll calm her down. Yeah, that'll be good. The wrap will not allow you to move. Then your blood is going to be drawn. Actually, I wish. I wish to cites my attorney. And you can't put the wrap down. Why are you putting me on the floor?

Just so you know, the rap is going to be. It's about to get real. It's going to hurt. Unless you comply with us, the floor you can't be hurt. I like so. All right Here's the deal

Vinny Turns out This wasn't her first DUI This is number three Oh no So she gets shipped down to county So she knows how this all goes

And she's still acting like that I would imagine she's blackout drunk I would imagine she has no idea what's going on And when she watches this video For the first time three days ago Is very embarrassed by it Well or not Annette was transported to the Milwaukee

County Jail and charged with operating while intoxicated third offense resisting or obstructing an officer in January of 2025 annette was sentenced to 18 months probation her license was revoked for two years and she was given an $1,800 fine it's actually not that bad considering all the shit that she was doing could you imagine what she would have gotten she was ugly right on her third yeah don't don't be a drunk ugly bitch driving 73 to 45 getting like a lot of trouble for that. That's a good point. Oh, Carl, I think it's time for some voicemails. Let's do it. The creep-off voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse, Syracuse, where

we'd celebrate Labor Day if any of us could keep a job. See you in Syracuse. Uh, here we go. Hey, I feel like you guys slept on how creepy that fucking adoption story on the scum parade was. That's some fairy tale rumpled still-skins type shit, like, Oh, you get to attach, my dear. Remember you sold your fastborn to me. The wicked witch of the east. Like fucking their friend.

So people listen to our show are weird. Yeah, I think he's got auditioning. I kind of like it. They're probably just to sacrifice the baby to some politicians in D.C. Anyways, don't go to school tomorrow. All right, thanks, buddy. We won't. He's got range, though.

I kind of like it. I can fill in for me next time I'm not here. Hard pass. I got an idea for the wheel of consequences. This one may want to keep secret. Not going to. Maybe play it on the bonus episode. See, I feel about it there.

So, y'all are both proud adults who are married and don't have kids. So I think it would be really funny if, as a consequence, you hired, like, a five-year-old, like a child actor to just barge in it on you one day during a stream, just interrupted me like, Daddy, could you please put me to bed or, like, some shit like that, just play it off naturally, just pretend you've been hired a kid all this time. I think it'd be funny. He'd give it the stances you all have had. Let me know what you think of that idea, Carl. It would have been good if you hadn't spoiled it. That actually would have been pretty funny. Okay.

Could have got some rumors going. We have somebody who's annoyed and disgusted with us because we had Douglas King Jr. And then I would have started the rumor that you actually kidnapped that kid, make him call you, dad, and that you're actually the biggest creep of all time. Well, that's how I would do it. I'm not hiring an actor. Oh, okay. Now I see. All right.

This should have been an off-air meeting. I'm realizing right now. Yeah, we really did. Sorry, you were set up the next voicemail? Oh, yeah. This guy's mad at us for having Douglas King Jr. You're from Predator Poachers Long Island on the show. Oh, really?

Yeah, some people didn't like that. And I feel like I'll be fair and let them have their say. Carl and Vinnie, I'm so, like, annoyed and disgusted with you guys, having one of these vigilante child predator weirdos on your show is just, like, really disgusting because. Pause it. Because these fuckers aren't. He's not a child predator. hunting child predators. Correct.

The way he said that made it sound like we were having a pedophile on the show to have some lulls with. That's not what that was at all. Yeah, it's not, we didn't have the ESO dough comedy out. Right, right. The other one. Doing any good for any part of society, especially when it comes to child predators who are the most evil pieces of shit on planet Earth.

Yep. These fucking vigilante do-goaters actually ruin investigations, they actually get a lot of these fucking child predators off because, They're not professionals. They get the child predators off. I heard that too. They don't know how to do investigations properly. They don't know how to execute the stuff that they're supposedly are experts at.

So many child predators get off on their charges because of these fuckers. Bro, you might not be wrong. You might not be wrong. I think that there's a lot of people who do this that are probably very immature, don't handle it the right way. People who slap the guys in the face when they meet him, the grocery store. Yeah, like those guys are pretty immature. No, they're great. Those guys are cool. I hate the amateur ones. We're like, oh, it says here on this thing.

They don't have a real chain of evidence. The folks of predator poachers take it a lot more seriously than others, and they put together whole dossiers, and they have arrests in almost every state. So, you know, there are some of them out there who are trying to go about it the right way, whether you agree with the tactic or not is a completely different thing. And we did press them on that. Yeah. So, I think we got our boy, Ronnie and Syracuse, has something to say about our Woke-Dead episode.

Great. Hey, guys, Ronnie in Syracuse listened to the episode where Wolk Dad was inducted into the creep-off fall of fame. And I was kind of surprised at first, but as the episode went on, I realized how bad this guy really turns out to be. But I wanted to point out one thing that really irks me, and that is his characterization that every child who, says or perceives to be gay or trans or whatever is part of the LGBTIQIA community. That is such a load of crap. Even if the kid legitimately isn't exactly the way we would expect them to be, it doesn't mean they're part of this community.

This guy is such a wacko and much worse than any far right person in my humble opinion. Great episode, guys. Don't call me back. No problem. Ronnie. You know what I forgot to mention on that episode? I just remember now. There was a clip that I played of woke dad talking about that community and he called it the LGBTQI. He never said A. And I went, wait a second. So the asexual kids, he doesn't want them around. I don't need anything to do with these asexual kids. They're no fun at all. Listen, you could have a trans child that is in a very stable home with loving parents who support them. They probably wouldn't be able to go to the art studio because they're not voting. vulnerable. Right. He needs them to be vulnerable and not A's. No A's allowed. So I tweeted something yesterday, Carl, about today's episode and I asked if anybody has any creepy Walmart stories. Yeah. And old friend of the show left us a little bit of a longer voicemail.

Okay. I just saw this. I hadn't listened to it yet, but because of who it is, I'm going to play it. Great. Hey, this is Lorenzo Ariola. Nice. You might remember me from That's All Funny. Sure do. I used to work at Walmart. Actually, uh, years ago. Is this the book story? It's been like the crow story, maybe 20 years now. I know it was like right out of high school. So maybe, yeah, maybe 20 years ago I worked at Walmart and I worked in the electronics department and I was very, I wasn't very creepy, but I would, I would steal a lot, you know, like what I would do, uh, I knew like the blind spots for the cameras.

And I would go to the DVD section because it was when DVDs were a big thing. And I would carefully cut them open and, like, just slowly slide them out of the DVD case and then put the empty DVD case back on the shelf. And the one knew they were missing until, like, really late or someone actually bought the DVD and it was gone. Yeah. So, yeah, I would, I would, what would you call it? Um, or crime, I guess. I don't know.

And, uh, also there was this girl that I worked with there. She was in the jewelry department and she liked me. Oh. But, um, and this was before like, mental health and autism really broke out ADHD. But I guess she had autism because I remember she, like, wanted to talk to me in the break room and she grabbed my hand. Yeah? And she was saying, um, this wasn't your cousin, wasn't it? But I'm different.

I'm like, what do you mean different? She's like, I'm a little slow. And I was like, what? And so, yeah, she was trying to say she was, like, kind of retarded. A little bit salad. She was, it was just autism. I remember her. She was sweet.

I should have gone, got farther with her, but I didn't, you know? Should have. I was different back then. I was into my cousin and stuff like that. Right. Things were just different. Dating's cousin back then. Sure.

I missed my cousin, no. But, yeah, let me know if you want to, I don't think I have very many Walmart stories, but that was pretty good. I remember that's the kind of person I was. I wasn't that creepy, but, you know, I wasn't a, I wasn't a good person, Leah. Take care you. See, Lorenzo. You're always this long-winded?

I'm glad you're a better person now, but Jesus Christ. I am absolutely fine with that call. Thank you, Lorenzo. Carl, we got some. Yes, I did just say she's a little mid-salad, so what. We got a couple of super tips coming in. Fast-Fack, I-Six 666. I sat next to you in Boston, Mr. Regenta.

I bought you the fries. You're awesome. Happy birthday. Well, look at that. Ebnie, thanks for the 1999. Here are a few shekels towards your lawsuit. Send the Colin Farrell Penguin-looking mutant back home. Vinnie's Creek reminds me of a just this weekend,

deceased UK creep, Liverpool's own Purple A-K-I. Look him up. We'll do. We'll do. And thank you very much for the contribution. Very kind of you. We do need it. Well, I need it now more than ever. Vinny's just a living out easy street over here.

Just coasting through life. Just coasted through life. No problems. Larry Lebetowski, thanks for the Donor 9. Hall of Fame Woke Dead was world-class fellows. Thank you, yes. I got a lot of help from Sharon Peters in our Discord, but it was a fantastic presentation if I do say so myself.

Oh, man, this is a bummer. Thanks for bringing down our comedy show, John Ziermites. Lost my pops unexpectedly this weekend. Plus, we lost Gary from San Diego. Thanks to the last guys. Now I know how my best friend Carl feels. Vote Carl. I'm so sorry to hear that, John's earmites.

That sucks. Yeah, I'm sorry. Unexpectedly. That's awful. But yeah, Gary and San Diego Also passed away It's really a bummer man I really uh

Hey Riley and Friends 10 bucks Thank you Riley and Friends Lorenzo W Agreed Thank you very much buddy Well Riley and Friends is making some

Some news I've been seeing What are they up to I've been seeing his clips He's analyzing Suttering John and steel toe and all these idiots Okay

I want to watch that So I have to check it out Yeah, Carl, I think it's time for a scum parade. And, uh, you know what I'm going with today? I missed it. Scum parade. Take me on a raid of these fucksharets that these creeps have made. Scum parade.

Vinnie and Carl going to tell you about some fuck shit. Scum parade like stories of a kid, fucked by his mom or dad. Soaking up the blood of a cat's got a parade. You know, all this talk about Daniel Alexander earlier today, you know, the guy runs that little coffee shop up there in Ithaca. Yeah, I woke dead. I want to talk to you about a coffee shop I would like to go to. Okay.

This is Ladybug Bikini espresso, Carl. That's interesting. I think this sounds great. This is a place where girls in bikinis get you coffee. And it's also open 24-7. which is weird for an espresso place, I think. Washington State is a weird place. I love this business.

I'm going to open one when I retire. I'm going to run a little bikini espresso bar. It's going to be lovely. I don't know what anyone who's at two in the morning needs espresso is up to. Welcome to Vinny's bikini bed and breakfast. I have a whole business plan built around bikinis and hot chicks. You'll love it. Now, a 19-year-old man, this is the kind of place of clientele that it's me and then guys like this.

Oh, this guy was cool. I've been he's got a lot of friends. Look at this dork. Why would you take a photo like that? Why would you ever take a photo like that? Oh, man. August 28th. He's 19 years old.

And he, his name is Ezekiel Guerrero. He drove to the 24-hour coffee shop earlier this month at 2.15 a.m. Put in his drink order with a female worker on duty. And while she was preparing Guerrero's drink, the victim said she exchanged small talk with the customer who was wearing a blue hat of Los Angeles Dodgers jersey and designer jeans. They were so sparkly she could tell from inside of his car. I know. I don't know how designer jeans got thrown in there, but sure. Yeah. The woman said she handed Guerrero a clipboard with her seat that she needed his signature for paying with his credit card with his name on it.

Okay. That's probably a bad idea. Yep. That's when he partially extended the clipboard back to the barris. That she reached out to accept it. That's when Guerrero allegedly grabbed the victim by the arm and tried to pull her into his car. You know, I'm very lucky that I was just so damn charming. I don't need to physically force women to get into my car. You know, what was smart about this was that he didn't do it once she was handing him the hot coffee. That is true.

Yeah, that could have been worse. The woman told cops she had to brace her legs against the counter, which kept her from being pulled out the drive-thru window. The victim was able to shut the window while the patron fled the area. When police interviewed the barista, she was frantic and appeared genuinely frightened with red marks all over her arm, inner bicep and shoulder. Oh, this is your first time almost getting kidnapped and raped?

Okay. It was reported by a security camera. Cops reported show that girl violently seizes the brist by the arm and the woman eventually breaks his grasp after tugging back and forth. He paid for his drink with his master card, was eventually tracked out by police and arrested Monday.

He reportedly confessed the detective saying that he had been drinking alcohol and smoking weed. You know what? Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Double fuck you. you know how many people could drink a little smoke a little and they're not trying to rip women out of fucking windows yeah but how many of those guys are checking out girls in bikinis making them an espresso not a big not a huge percentage to be honest i gotta get this business going it's just too good i just don't understand how this idiot didn't have fucking cash for this transaction he probably would have gotten away with it see he's drunk and high yeah so he wasn't thinking he was just like yeah he was definitely he was not thinking he says he didn't attend do harm the victim. And he'd be feeling sad and angry and isolated due to a recent relationship problem with his former girlfriend, you know, so I saw a pretty girl and, you know, just decided that my, you know, whatever. You got boobs, like my axe, my axe had boobs still.

It reminds me of her. Yeah. He'd come with me. He had denied he had any anger or hatred towards women and that it was just impulsive behavior. That it was. He's being charged with attempted kidnapping in the first degree. Carl, let's meet this gentleman. This is James Yokely Jr. He's 66 years old. and we're going to Williamton, North Carolina. Now, he is being charged with felony child abuse, possession of a controlled substance, and two counts of contaminating food or drink with said controlled substance. Police in Williamton, North Carolina, said in a statement that he flagged on police officers at a gas station on August 8th,

after his two granddaughters discovered hard objects in their blizzard milkshakes from a dairy queen. The blue pills tested positive for cocaine and MDMA. Oh shit, that's a party. These poor granddaughters, they probably think, like, Dairy Queen Blizzards are the most amazing fucking beverage on the planet. Yeah. They're going for a rude awakening when no one's drunken them in the future. Like, oh, it's not even that great. Well, unfortunately, these girls were 15 and 16, and they did not actually take any of it because they found the stuff inside of...

Mm, their loss. Yeah. They're lost about that one. Inside of their blizzard, the detectives investigated. They discovered surveillance video that allegedly showed Yokely placing the pills into the blizzards. This dude's got MDMA and Coke, and he's wasting it on his granddaughters. You know what pussy you could get? You're digging to be so wet, idiots.

He has been booked in charge. He's waiting on $100,000 secured bond. He's not yet entered a plea, and he's due back in court on September 11th of all days. Now, fun fact about this guy, he is a politician, Carl. He's a Republican. He served as the chair of the Surrey County Board of Elections until resigning this Thursday. He was appointed back in June by the state auditor.

He did not want to resign. He was very reluctant to resign in this. He did. He said after much prayer, thoughtful reflection and consultation, I've concluded that it's in the best interest of the State Board of Elections and Surrey County Board of Elections regarding my own falsely accused circumstances to step down at this time. And he believes that he's going to

be exonerated of all accusations levied against me. Excellent. That's what he says. So we'll find out. Now, Carl, we're going to go to Louisville, Kentucky and I have some videos here. I'd like to show everybody. Let's watch the news footage. Okay. Man on a bike, and it was all called on video. After asking if the 78-year-old is alone at her South Louisville home, the situation grows more disturbing.

So, Carl, that is Jan Fletcher. She's 78 years old in Louisville, Kentucky, and likes to hang out on her front porch. She has a piece of ass, too. Well, I'll tell you what. She was sitting at home alone, and then this unknown man, on a bike comes up and he's like, hey, anybody else here with you? What do you think happens next? He gets handsy, acting like he's wiping something off of her backside, but then gropes her repeatedly

until an uncomfortable Fletcher stops him. 78 year old woman, Carl, he's up there grabbing her ass. Grabbing titty. In a statement, an LMPD spokesperson said, we advise that the elderly are often the victims of scams, harassment, and home invasion, which often start with suspicious questions

at the door. But never sexual assaults. That's in the statement. This never, ever happens. This is wild that this is going on. What is happening here? One of the things in this story says that they think that this might be some type of prank or something.

Like a social media prank. Or it could be more nefarious than that. It could be like a gang thing, you know? Like, you know, they used to jump people in. Yep, yep. So now it's just like, oh, you want. want to be in the gang. You got to touch an old lady's butt.

Listen, if social media is getting you to grope 78-year-old ladies, then TikTok's not for you. You might not have the mental capacity to be on TikTok. And now my favorite clip ever. Here you go, Carl. I was so mad that it happened. And I was thinking, what could I have done different? Stop being such a sexy bitch. Maybe not wear your nice tights.

Right. I like how she's wearing like the same outfit in the news interviews. She is on that. Yeah, she's a simple lady. She's just like, I wondered what I could do different. Maybe if I hadn't a comb to my hair so nice and tight on the side.

I really spent extra time on my makeup that day. That's not me, guys. She has the same haircut as fucking Bill Belichick. This show is so stupid. We have the dumbest show. Wow. Okay. So either way,

They don't know who this guy is. And if you have an old lady living alone, you know, maybe make her stay inside. Just by advice. Never let her experience like. Especially if she wears sexy pants like that. You need to keep her inside. Now, Carl, let's talk about these people. That's Brendan Banfield and Christine Blanfield and their child.

They look like a happy couple. So the problem is this. They had what they call an au pair. Is that how you say that properly? Yes. Yeah, an au pair, which is basically a live-in foreigner who takes care of your kid for you. Hopefully she's not sexy. Well,

Oh, shit. Oh, no. That's going to be a problem. That's Juliana Perez Magalajadas. Wow. She's from Brazil. And apparently, Brendan and her started banging. Good for him.

That is well done, my friend. Yeah. So she's talked a lot about their relationship because a lot of situations have arisen. Yeah. And our pal Brandon came up with a great idea because he decided he wanted to get his wife out of the picture so he could be with Juliana. Okay. And a divorce would likely have meant financial and custody implications and shit. Yeah, it's the whole thing.

So they began planning her murder, Carl. Oh, all right. And Brendan went to a website called fetlife.com, a BDSM fetish site. Are you familiar with this place? I'm not. I was not either, pretending to be his wife, Christine. So he goes on there pretending to be. this lady right here.

Yeah. Yeah. Now, it's a frump who can't lose the baby weight. Juliana, the Alpera, explains that she would, that when they did that, he poses her to lure a man into believing he was participating in a consensual violent rape fantasy.

Oh. A gentleman by the name of Joseph Ryan responded thinking he was engaging with Christine. In reality, he was communicating with Brendan and Juliana. Brendan allegedly wanted someone violent enough to play out the scenario in a way he had in mind. So here's what happened February 24th on 2023

Ryan arrives He was invited to the Banfield home with a knife Under the impression to be part of the role play fantasy Juliana was supposed to This is kind of crazy Vinny You don't say I mean my sex life is very boring But if someone invited me

To their home And wanted me to have sex with a knife I think I would probably be like Yeah probably not Is that okay Like if I didn't have a knife on me It depends on if you met up from FetLife or not life or not. Yeah, I guess I'm not on fat life. I guess that's why. So basically, she has

this, he tells her, I have a rape fantasy. I want you to come in and I want you to chase me around the house of the knife and hold me down and hold the knife to me. All the ways to kill your wife, this would have never occurred to me. This one would have never occurred to me. Yeah. Yeah. So Giuliana explained that she and Christine would act scared, scream, and resist making it look like it was part of the game. Then Brendan and Juliana hid waiting for Ryan to initiate once inside, fucking this guy starts going after Christine. She, she He starts running through the house. Brendan and Juliana ended up attacking and murdering both of them.

Oh, nice. Yeah. So they basically just make it look like this guy's knife, killed her, he killed her, and then they killed him. So that was the plan all along. Yes. Let's kill my wife and just some random guy who can't get laid. Yeah.

So they both shot him with two separate guns, which is wild. Yeah. Because they murdered the wife with the knife and then shot this dude. he shot him then she comes out and shoots him with another gun Jesus. Then they waited 10 minutes before calling 911 staging the scene to look like Ryan had attacked Christine and that they killed him in self-defense. Okay. Julianna testified that Brandon had prepared for months.

He even installed noise-proof windows so neighbors wouldn't hear the screaming. He tested the soundproof of probably yelling inside while Giuliana stood outside. This is all shit that they talked about in court. Dude, the divorce probably wouldn't cost that much. You're getting all new windows, put into your house and shit? like this seems like a pretty big expense that he's he's forking over well listen what what price can you put on happiness car that's true buddy that is true i'm sure that this juliana would have been great uh they already pled guilty juliana pled guilty to manslaughter for her role in both

deaths and so brandon's facing trial on october and she's already you know talking obviously uh wow yeah pretty fucked up case i would say so uh that's my scum parade for this week all right well listen uh we talked about this earlier but uh if you're looking to get together with someone of your same gender there's apps for that or if you're looking to have your wife murdered apparently there's apps for that as well so that's our advice to you oh riley and friends thanks to the 10 bucks you see usually when someone you're a fan of says that they've seen your clips it's an honor but with carl specifically it also arises a certain amount of fear ah yes you don't want me checking out your clips too often yeah don't send them to car like you're

of them. It's never going to work out well. Thanks, Riley and Friends. Rocko Orby 2002. Thanks for the Fiverr. He's getting inked done. Yeah, he asked for a 13, but he got a 31. That's what coffee douche made me think. What? Oh, yes. Outcast, or

not Outcast. Offspring. Pretty fly for a white guy. Oh, yes. Okay. Yes. Got it. Got it. Yep. He asked, let's see. Let me go back to this. Now I get it. He asked for her 13, but he drew a 31. I get it. Riley and friends, thanks for the Fiver.

Who among us does not have anger or hatred towards women? Yeah, I know. You can't really just say that. You can't just make a blanket statement like that. I don't have anyone believe it. Riley and friends, interesting strategy to introduce a second murder. Agreed. It's a horrible strategy. It worked. No, it did not. Everybody was dead.

They did it. They did that. Yeah, that part worked. Rock or B-2002. I bet GOP guy was telling those girls. Come on, girl, drink those blizzards. They got sprinkles. Right. Yeah, there's sprinkles in them. It's candy bite down on it it's the problem he was going to drag them to burning man that would have been great oh boy what an episode we did on this labor day carl i know look at us work work work i'll be on point dabblepoint a little bit over on the shooley network oh boy you

guys have a lot to talk about you guys gave your response to john i heard we sure did and uh boy john has been on fire all weekend he's just been uh streaming up a storm i thought he quit did he quit again i think so i don't know i'm not i was at a party yesterday so i'm not caught up on John. The week of him coming back goes like, oh, he's back. I could catch up on this. Yeah. It's ups and downs and ups and downs. He's been on like months worth of fucking insanity in one week's time. Yeah, but it's also all reruns too somehow. It's amazing. This guy comes back to put out new episodes and nothing has changed. He's tried, he's fighting pinky. Actually, the only thing, this is why John's so stupid. The only thing John will not talk

about is Shulian me. It's the only thing people want to hear about. And he will, he refuses to bring us up. It's all about Pinky and Carmix and Felicia. Kids of shit. Who cares what any of this? You know, the thing is this, John is a unicorn. He is a completely stupid unicorn. And unfortunately, you can only milk a unicorn for so long before they turn into just a shell of what they used to be.

And I think we're looking at a husk at the moment. That old adage. You could only milk a unicorn for so long. Yeah. Until they turn into a husk. Okay. Sounds right. But, you know, then here he is.

He's full of magic. Just give him this more shit. I got nothing who cares. Fuck it. We'll be back on Thursday. Wink, wink, wink. Brothers, feel free to join us. Make sure you are a...

Super secret meeting if you want to swing by. 3 p.m. Eastern time. 12%? 12 Pacific. Oh, that's right. It is three, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, I can definitely make it to that.

Sweet. I'll get down to Villa Roma, get checked in. Excellent. And then I'll be on. Carl, it's nice to be important. It's more important. to be nice. Gagia.

Can you want to start? One second, bud.