The Creep Off - Episode 285: Losing my Digestion

Episode Date: October 27, 2025

It’s the most wonderful time of the year — for creeps! Vinnie and Karl dig through the dark history of All Hallows’ Eve to crown the biggest Halloween creep of all time!The score is currently Vinnie 2 - Karl 1 – Guest 4 visit patreon.com/thecreepoff to vote and decide this week’s winnerCheck out this week’s scum parade stories here: New 'Ghost Adventures' episode will capture moment host Aaron Goodwin learns about wife's murder plot while filmingUnhinged NYC woman busted in fatal beating of sleeping hospital roommate'You shot him!': Police say man confronted mom, victim in vehicle outside Jackson Township homeMichigan babysitter accused of sexually abusing children in her care faces 47 charges, police sayWant more of the madness? Support the show on Patreon, Supercast & Backed.by to snag exclusive merch and get an extra bonus episode every week!Support free speech help to donate to Karl & Shulis Legal fund visit FIGHTHEDABBLER.COMDon’t forget you can leave us a voicemail at 585-371-8108You can follow our Results girl Danni on Instagram @Danni_Desolation

You're listening to the Carl Network. If you're a kid, don't get on here, okay? See, that's how you do a disclaimer. You tell the kids that get out to fuck off the damn page. Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want.

Horat Shock. I'm going to deliver the goods, because I'm alive, and I'm not backing down. Go-poo! Disgusting, vomit-inducing thing. Ola creepos, welcome to another episode of your favorite true crime podcast, the show about creeps. By creeps for you, creeps. I'm your host. My name is Vinnie.

And joining me today, as always. Hot cucka-c-c-c-carl. What is happening, Vinnie Pauline? I'm going to see you, my friend. Happy super chat Monday. Happy super chat and new member Monday. Whoa, it's a new member Monday? I didn't know that.

Dude, look at this. African Sealing Bird, new member. Beautiful. Terry Gunnell, 12, new member. Beautiful. Brilia, 1979, new member. I hate that YouTube went back to doing the at handles rather than just the names of people. It's a little weird.

They go back and forth with that. So it gets difficult to understand who's talking to us. But yes, guys, thanks for remembering up. Of course, we have bonus shows every Friday. And we just had a very fun one this past Friday. I don't know, man. I was traumatized the rest of the weekend after that. The cop camp was.

Pretty brutal. Oh, my God. Let me just put it this way. It's a cop can. There's no way I would show on the normal episode. It was a little too disturbing. So we had to do it on the bonus show behind the paywall. Yeah, you're welcome, everybody.

And while we have you, can I wish you all a happy Halloween this week? It's Halloween week. It certainly is. How do we do for Halloween, Vinnie? What are your big plans? Oh, my wife and I usually just hand out candy. Hang out. It's about it.

Cool. My band's playing in Buffalo on the first. So I don't know I got a really busy day I got to figure out How I'm gonna get some episodes Cranked out on that day Since I won't be able to do WATP

Well I got some good news for you What was that? The good news is you know Usually we do our bonus episodes on Fridays Yes This week It's going to be Wednesday Oh that's not good news for me at all

Well It's horrible news It's great news for everybody else Yes it is Weight Watch is coming back baby Episode three Weight Watch is number three Yes

I'm excited for that. It's going to be fun. Oh, my God. I have a bed. I'm going to tell you something right now. We're going to featuring some ladies in their Halloween costumes. Oh, good. So if you run across any of those, you want to set down our way,

The Creepoff pot at Gmail.com, please and thanks. Patreon.com slash The Creepoff is where you can go to become a member and get all the back catalog of all the bonus shows we've ever done. But if you become a member here on YouTube, you'll also get access to Weight Watchers, which will be live 3 p.m. Eastern time this Wednesday. That's right. I'm sorry, Dick and producer Johnny, Johnny, the audio engineer, sorry, he's not really a producer. And then special guest, John Breaks Bad News.

Yes, he's always fun. Yes, so very excited for that. Now, Carl, we need to get down to business because last week, you bitched and you moaned and you bitched and you moaned. I made some good points, too, in between. I don't think you did. I think I did. I don't think you did. I don't know.

We moved the voting over to Patreon. Uh-huh. And I got to tell you, we got a lot of votes. Yeah, yeah, roughly the same amount. Good. Maybe 20 or so less. And here to give us the results of those is a, and I'm telling you what, she's wearing a Halloween costume tonight.

Yeah, yeah, everyone compliment Danny today. Danny looks good today. She was great. They're up to her fucking chin. Here's Danny desolation, everybody. Hi, Danny. Hi, guys. Good to see you.

So nice to see you today. Last week we did Creepiest Trucker, and you have the results. Will you please let everybody know who gets the point this week? I do. So 79% of the vote. Whoa, what's a blowout? I must really sucked last week. Yeah, definitely.

That goes to Carl and Robert Ben Rhodes. Thank you, Tom. Wow. Can you believe it? We eliminate the cheating, and I win the round? It's amazing. You didn't win a round. You won a game.

I know. To me, it's a round. No, but it isn't. Spin the wheel, Vinny. Carl, I'm getting ahead of myself. You want me to spin the carol wheel? Yes, the carol wheel. Here's the thing, though.

It's not like you shut me out every round, dude. Sometimes you beat me. Sometimes you don't. It's just the game. I'm not stressed about it. I don't think you should be, but thank you all to the Couseroo's out. there for voting for me because I did bring the creepier trucker last week and of course that's the way this game is played you guys watch and listen and then we both bring in someone

we think it's a giant creep. Today's creep category is Halloween and then you go to patreon.com slash the creep off and you vote for her you thought brought the bigger creep and then Danny over here tallies the votes lets us know who won for each week and then when one of us gets a five we've won the round. Danny is that your Halloween dress you're wearing? It is a Halloween dress I'm wearing Can you get a little closer to the camera? I can't really tell from the shadows like what's Yeah

Just get a little bit Yeah Oh shit Right Right Yep get a little bit closer Nice Uh huh

Yeah You like it I do Nice Looks damn good Should we just leave her on the whole show today Minnie Yeah

I'll mute her It's perfect Oh yeah It's beautiful daddy It looks great So Halloween I totally just knock the camera off We saw

yeah we loved it uh we will see you uh next week for the results of this episode and uh follow at danny desolation on instagram trust us it's worth it by danny by danny happy alaune happy alaune great job with the results today daddy wow one of her best performances ever i have to say 79% that's amazing what did she do daddy did it daddy did it for me are you telling me danny's helping you cheat i'm telling you that the results aren't official until danny tells us what they are okay that's what i'm telling you fair enough dude are we celebrating super chat monday or what we certainly it looks like we are this is exciting i mean our pal annie orine's gift and creep off channel memberships too that's awesome review girl annie thanks for being here rock a or b 2002 hello pair of bums

or i mean unhoused ones now i heard this was a situation that arose from who are these socials the other day yeah you're not allowed to call people bums you or uh from who are these podcasts it's who are these podcasts yeah there was a lecture from mojo in the morning when a caller called in and talked about a guy jerking off at a church during a wedding in front of her son, and she called the homeless guy a bum. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, we don't use that kind of language here. Yes, we need to make sure that we keep their dignity. That's ridiculous.

Daniel Adams, 3871, thanks for the two bucks. Happy Super Chat Monday, Creeps. Thank you, sir. Same to you. Michael P. On Saturday, the crept beers will flow like wine. Hey, Moonhead, I believe. What's your shirt size, sending Lady Kay with a gift for you?

I'm a 2x. Beautiful. Yes. We'll be at the Flying Bison Brewery from three until seven. The ice house will be performing. Wait, four to seven? Four to seven. Well, I'm like, I'm not playing four hours. It's crazy. We'll play three hours. So come by a great beer over there in a very cool atmosphere. Or, you know what else you could do this Saturday night? You could come by comedy at the Carlson and come to Vinny and Tommy's Haunted Hangover Show, which is happening right here. You get your tickets for that at Carlsoncom. And you wouldn't have to go to stupid Buffalo. Tell me about this comedy show. I saw it advertised out to the Doug Stanhope show the other day. What is the Haunted Hangover shot?

Only you would do a Halloween show on November 1st. Yeah, it's the day after. We're all getting fucked up. No, the idea is my buddy Tommy Beck told, who I'm doing the show with, he is newly sober. Okay. And he became sober after last year's Halloween. So it's a whole thing. He's going to be headlining.

It's going to be a lot of fun. It's the Haunted Hangover. So it's a stand-up show. Yeah, stand-up, all sorts of silliness. Beautiful. Michael Pete. Thanks for the Dow 99, Moonhead, and I'm not reading that. Go, Bills.

What a game yesterday, huh? How about, why did you skip that Super Chat right there? Which one? The one that you skipped. No, we got it. Labrne Mystic. What are you talking about? I didn't see this.

Oh, you know what? I just didn't see it. All right. Ola, creep. Labyrinth is the best. Olai crink pose. Went overboard on Blind Mike. Can't do as much of this week.

Oh, yeah. Levernistic was all over at Blind Mike Project. I was watching that. May y'all stay warm and safe this Halloween. No syringe holes. in your candy. Well, thank you, Labarn Mystic. We appreciate you, buddy.

I always look for syringe holes. Amy Lynn, 1730 cents, says, Ola Cripos, and Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. Labrostic, another two bucks. When do polls close on Patreon? 7 p.m. Sundays. Okay.

Good to know. Levermissik did this with Mike, too. He's like, I'm back going to put in a lot of money, guys, and then it's just nonstop. Carl Cuzzaroos versus Vinnie's Winnie's. Team colors. Do we have team colors, Carl? I guess I got to go red, white, and blue.

I was going to go red, white, we're the patriotic ones over here. Oh, we're green and black, like the O and three Celtics. Beautiful. Dear God. I can't anymore with sports. I'm losing my mind. My dolphins won, though, so I'm happy about that.

Oh, yeah, screwed up my five-team parlay. Fuck, yes. Producer Chris and my five-team parley. If it makes you feel any better, it's screwed up our draft pick. Yeah. So, you know, whatever. Good. We're all good.

We're all over the place, say. I think you're all over the place. This is catching up with me. I apologize. It's all right. Hey, can you update our scoreboard for me, though? It makes me feel better when I see that we're tied. No, you're not.

You only have one. I just updated it when you got the point. Oh, I was down to nothing? Yeah. Oh. You're fucking idiot. Can I get an extra point anyway? No.

Are you feeling generous? You go to hell is what you can do. You could go to fucking hell. Joke and die out of my shit. All right. Should we start our presentations as being silly? All right. You get to go first, so ring that bell, Carl.

All right. Well, I want to start off with a very gruesome discovery that happened just after Halloween. We're down in South Carolina in a rural part of South Carolina. And there's a trailer on a property. And a woman who lives in another trailer on that same property, her family lives in one trailer. Her and her husband live in another trailer. and she decides to check in on the family members. Clip number one, you'll see what happened here.

All right, let's do it. Let's do it, Carl. In 2015, four members of the same extended family were gunned down inside their home in Pendleton, South Carolina, Halloween night. The daughter of one of the victims, granddaughter of another victim, who discovered the scene and called 911,

appeared all over local news, talking about how awful it was, et cetera. Yeah, so this is Amy Vallardi. And Amy Valardi, who I mentioned, lived in the trailer right next door, walked in and found if you pull up these photos. Well, when, you know, one family lives in multiple trailers. I believe it's called an estate. Yes, this is the estate.

Right. So we have Kathy Scott. This is Amy's mom. If you want to pull up a photo of Kathy. Sure. We have Mike Scott. This is the stepfather of Amy. We have Barbara Scott.

this is Mike's mother and then we have Violet Taylor and that's the grandmother of Amy so she walks in All these people live in a trailer park Yes it's such a gruesome awful thing where she just sees that all of these bodies have been

All these people have been killed Their bodies just laying It's a lot of blood It's awful to see So Amy goes on WSPA 7 the local news station there and talks about this on clip number two. Clip number two is the scene.

Oh, shit. It should be Amy on WSPA. That's number three. I got you. Thank you. No problem. I keep feeling like I should be waking up from a dream right now. And it's just not happening.

So, yeah, it's like a movie or something. It's not supposed to be real life. Very distraught. And I'll tell you why she's distraught when you check out the scene here in my next clip. A few seconds later, when she flipped on the lights, she was greeted by a scene of unimaginable horror. The victims suffer gunshot wounds as well as multiple stab wounds and lacerations. The mangled and blood-soaked bodies of her grandmother, Violet, her stepfather Mike, and Mike's mother, Barbara, were strewn awkwardly on the living room floor. Amy's mother wasn't among them, but she discovered her bloody and lifeless body in a bedroom less than a minute later.

It was difficult to tell exactly what had happened in the trailer, but it looked like each of the victims may have been shot, perhaps beaten, and stabbed as well. In fact, the coroner even said that it looked like the victims died because they had their neck's cut and they bled out, but then they were shot afterwards. so whoever was killing these people really wanted to make sure they were not going to get up you know it's Halloween you know it could be like the dead to come back

no living dead something like that this might be like a group suicide okay so far I'm gonna go suicide on this the gut the knife slicing the gunshots all right well uh my my clip number four you heard describe it was like a movie

but it really happened and she can't she can't stop reliving it well if it's like a movie then Amy Valardi who you just saw there may be up for best supporting actress alongside her husband Ross, also seen there, because now they're the ones who just got arrested and charged with all four murders. We have arrested. Ross Moore, aka Ross, Wayne Valardi, and Amy Valardi. They're in our custody right now, and they have been charged with murder for the quadruple homicide. So this is a

happened in 2015, it wasn't until 24 that these arrests were made. How many? So, it turns out, it looks like Amy went in there and murdered her entire family, then called 911 to report it, then went on television and went, oh my gosh, this was so awful. I can't believe this is happening. And to make it even worse than that, my clip number five, she's even criticizing law enforcement on television. And I understand, there again, they've got a job

to do, but sometimes as family members we want answers and we just want to know what's what's going on she's not going to win any awards for acting no she's not she's like giggling this is horrible somehow these two got away with this for over

eight years until they finally were able to get some evidence I would never go on television if I murdered somebody go I want answers as to who did this no shit it's not a great strategy The last thing you ought to say. She almost got away with that. And what's crazy is they stayed in South Carolina. They could have moved to a different state, a different country.

Because the reason why they did this, her dad, Mike Scott, he has a business in buying and selling gold. And believe it or not, in that little trailer estate, as you called it. Compound, really. The compound there, he had a lot of cash on hand because he's constantly buying and selling gold. So the police. Well, I mean, look at him. He was surrounded by hot bitches. Well, that's probably why.

Good point. The police find $87,000 in cash wrapped and organized by year in Amy's trailer after these murders. Are you saying she didn't earn that? Well, they had a dog grooming business that was losing money. So the police are like, how do you have all this cash? They're like, oh, we've been saving up for a while. You know, just saving cash and just wrapping it sequentially, just having it here for us. Yeah.

How do you do with your money? Well, they were behind on rent and car pay. at the time of the murders and the day after the bodies were found all of so they started paying off some of their debts that's incredible they've been denied bond they believe that they are a flight risk so they are currently awaiting trial my creep is amy valardi who murdered her entire family then called 911 and went on television and cried about it so what i i still don't understand is how did they catch her and know that she did it well they were still awaiting trial but uh they found all so these are innocent people they're not brought innocent people they're not

They are guilty until they prove themselves to be innocent. That's not how it works in America's son. It's how it works on the creep off and you know that. That is not true, Carl. I want to, is that your presentation? That's my presentation. Vote for Carl. Well, you could do that or you could just wait and listen to who my creep is this week.

I'll introduce you to him. That's him right there. Oh, he's fun. He sure is, Carl. Great at a party. What did you blow someone's house down? Close. This is Michael Dennis.

I'll give you a real. picture of him. He doesn't look crazy at all. Oh, he's not actually a wolf, okay. He's not actually a wolf. So, uh, as a child, Dennis, uh, Hey, have we ever thought about bringing creepiest animal as a category? Hmm. We should, we should look into that. Make a note, Alex. John's cat. I feel bad for John's cats. Rob Saul's horrid dog. Yeah, that dog gets around. So this is Michael Dennis. Like I said, as a child, he suffered significant hearing loss, which caused him to stutter.

He had a bunch of those old school hearing aids, you know, the ones that, like, had the wires come out of the side of your head. Why doesn't he cry about it? Oh, he does a lot. It's a real problem for him. You know, he had to have the big thing with the wire, the pocket, his pocket. Terrible look. He didn't have a lot of friends, didn't have a lot of conversations. As he grew up, he couldn't get any girlfriends.

He got a job working at Lockheed Martin as a paint sprayer. Oh, geez. And while working there, he meets a woman named Doreen, Carl. Okay. And you know what, man? Doreen sounds like a hot name. but she's smoking hot tell it to brother weez he says he found the one yes after only a few months of dating the couple got married car and doreen soon gave birth to their first son paul dennis well

mike relished being a dad loved it the stress of being a new parent was a little much because she would always ask for help and he'd be like i can't hear you and it would be a problem actually i think that's a pretty good excuse yeah so it's getting off easy yeah so she leaves yeah she divorces him in 1977 and Doreen retained primary custody of the son who visited Mike on weekends. Mike loved his kid, very bitter about the divorce though. Doreen on the other

hand, Carl, quickly bounced back, married this guy named Charles Erbert, who owned a local carpet store. Okay. And they had another daughter together. She's like, I just, I think it's tacky. Can we just have hardwoods in our house, please? I only want hardwoods

in my house. That's what I'd prefer. I'm sure we can get the carpet at a discount. I get it's yeah deanna erbert uh is the new daughter born in 1979 and they raise her and paul together okay so mike gets to see his son on the weekends now there's a little blended family on doreen's side there unfortunately things didn't go too well because in february of nineteen eighty four-year-old paul climbed through a fence surrounding the swimming pool at dorine's house uh-huh and he fell into the water uh-oh dorine was home at the time she didn't realize what was going on and she got there a little too late. Did

she play drums in Motley Crew? I'm getting my stories confused here. She did not play drums and Motley crew now. That was a different one. That was her husband, you see. Okay. Got it. After being pulled from the pool, Paul was put on life support for about a week. He died three days after respirators and feeding tubes were removed.

That's too bad. Now, it was. It was very painful for Mike. He loved his son, but boy, did he fucking blame that Doreen for her. I would do. Totally. Doree, you bitch! He went so far, Carl, is to file a wrongful death suit against Charles Adore. Good.

And the case went to trial, and he lost. Oh. The jury ruled in Herbert's favor. Imagine having to prove to the court that you're a good parent after your four-year-old crawls into a swimming pool and dies. Dude. Yeah, but what about all the other days? I mean, I would make a peanut butter sandwiches. It was great.

I mean, you got to know that this is an accident, and you're, like, suing financially over the death of your child. I mean, it's a little fucking weird. Yeah, you think that's kind of a shitty thing to do? I think it's kind of a shitty thing to do. Well, vote for many of you think suing your ex-wife because your son died is a creepy thing. All right, are you ready for a cop cam? No, I'm not done yet, Carl. I thought that was the creepy thing he did.

No, that is pretty creepy. Yeah, you know that lawsuits are creepy. It's very creepy. So over the next two years, Mike's life and mental health continued to deteriorate a bit. He lost his job as a paint sprayer. Oh, no. And he had to take another job at a reduced salary. So he is very bummed out.

A lot of bitterness continued to just eating the guy out. So wait a second. So like when you make a bunch of money and then you make less money, you get bitter about that and you lash out of people and maybe sue people for shit. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I know someone like that. Yeah, he's reaching out.

He's just anything he could do to be spiteful and vindictive in these people's lives. In fact, he moved. Did he call Doreen's dad? Yes. Trying to get her in trouble. All the time. And you know what else he did? He moved three miles away from their house.

Rout row. Yeah. So Charles and Doreen move on with their lives. They cut him out. They have no reason to have any contact with him. After all, his kid is dead. They did have something to celebrate, though. In 1984, Doreen announced he was expecting a son following two miscarriages the preceding years.

Jesus. God doesn't want you to have kids, Doreen. What are you doing? Get the hints. So the baby was due in early November just after Halloween. And Doreen was a very small woman. and very pregnant, very, very pregnant. And on Halloween night, October 31st, 1984,

Doreen took four-year-old Deanna out trick-or-treating while she was very pregnant. Well, Charles handed out candy at home. After Doreen brought Deanna back to the house, Charles went to the liquor store. He would estimate he was away from the house for about 15 minutes. During that 15 minutes, there's a loud knock on the door. And on the front door of their house, there's a big banging. And she's going, what the fuck is? this she looks out there and she opens up the door the daughter diana is there um and the mom says

hide behind the couch because she thought something was wrong sure when her mom opened the door there's michael and his wolf mask that you see here oh my and he just says very simply i'm going to kill you oh and then he pulls out of his jacket uh what turned out to be an 18 inch machete oh he wasn't joking about that no no it wasn't a trick or treat he didn't want a treat he didn't want a treat he Just going to fuck her up. Just the trick. So she hides behind the couch the daughter does. And Doreen gets the shit kicked out of her by this guy.

Chops off her hand. And she's like, this is about your son, isn't it? Is this about our son? This is why you're still angry? This isn't going to bring him back, Michael. Right. Well, turns out he wanted to have a new son because what he did was he cut the baby out of her stomach, Carl. Okay.

That's one way. You know, I've C-section is preferred, but that's another way to do it. Sure. sure but uh you know he wasn't going to be as good i would say and i want to put this delicately i would say cutting when he cut the baby out you know he has this opportunity to be a good father and it turns out he's way he's a shittier father than doreen is a mother no kidding because what he did is after he cut the baby out he chopped it up with the machete oh i thought you're going to say it threw her in the bathtub see if she could swim no he chopped the baby up with

the machete two-handed just chopping the fucking thing on the floor and then started throwing the parts of the baby all over the fucking living room. Oh, no. Yeah, so not great. So the baby survive, or? Oh, no. Oh, okay.

No, no, no. Doree didn't survive either. No. So, Charles comes back from the liquor store. Uh-huh. walks into the house and slips on the blood.

Whoa. He slips inside everywhere. What the fuck? Who put their large intestine? right here. Is that a baby? He finds her dead laying in the entrance way with their stomach cut open or hand missing.

When he's done playing, he sits back and he goes, okay, what's going out now here? Dude, he literally slipped all over the blood when the cops got there and said the guy was covered head to toe in blood. They discovered Charles hysterical, covered in blood, like I said. And the cop said you could see that the hallway was red. And then there was that stool with a pumpkin on it. Here's a picture of a, hold on, let me find this for you, from the crime scene. Cool.

There was just a pumpkin sitting there watching the whole thing fucking go down. God, the 80s were a gloomy time, weren't they? Fucking eerie, dude. Brown carpeting everywhere. I know, it's the worst. So by the front door, they found the wolf mask. They also discovered a trail of blood leading all the way down the block where it suddenly stopped. investigators surmised the killer may have gotten into a car and driven away.

They gathered blood samples, which at the time, there's no DNA. All they could do is tell blood type to try to determine who did it. We've narrowed it down to only 7 billion people who this could be. Yes. So officers detained Charles for questioning, and another team of investigators spoke to the Herbert's neighbors. Authorities learned about the couple's troubled history with Mike and the death of Little Paul, and he quickly made their way to Mike's house, which was less than the time. two miles away, I was mistaken.

And the cop said when he got to the driveway, he saw that there was a truck part out there. So he shined his light in there, blood all over the inside of the truck. Yeah. Blood on the gear shift. Mike doesn't answer the door when they knocked. They go in there, and he answers the door in a robe

with his hand all fucking bandaged up like OJ. Yep. And they say to him, hey, listen, man, your ex-wife's dead. He was like, oh, Oh, that's terrible. I've been here all night, and I accidentally cut my hand playing with a knife. Yep.

I've been here all night just playing with knives. So what was it, uh, officer, natural causes? Yeah. Cancer? What happened? What happened? Um, did her baby pop out of her stomach accidentally? Yeah.

Mike told him he had nothing to hide, agreed to let him do a search of his home. Investigators found blood throughout the house. Dum, dum, dum, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. and on articles of clothing more than what could come from a simple knife wound. I see all this gauze, all this blood. I say, you're under arrest for murder. So I handcuffed him, the cop said. Now, while conducting a second more thorough search of the home,

police found a receipt from a hardware store and a label for a machete with an 18-inch blade and his garage, they also found two handmade coffins, Carl. One for Charles with his name written on it. Nice. And another smaller one for Doreen, as well as body bags, weights, and a map of the San Francisco Bay. I would call that evidence. Sure. I don't know that you'd want to have that around at your house.

I have nothing to hide. What an idiot. So his plan was originally, he didn't, Charles got lucky by going to the liquor store. Because if Charles was there, he was planning on fucking killing him too. Mike initially denied murdering his wife. And despite the evidence at hand, it was not strong enough to hold him, believe it or not. What? Because he didn't have the weapon.

That's ridiculous. So, fun fact. Her name was in a coffin at his house. What are he talking about? They didn't have enough evidence. It's ridiculous. Just a coincidence. Halloween decorations.

Fucking dumb. Halloween decorations. So, despite the evidence, they let him go. He's released after 48 hours. He gets arrested again on November 5th, four days later. After a state crime matched Mike's blood type to that founder of the crime scene, he was charged with murder with special circumstances. Detectives were able later to trace the wolf mask back.

this fun one to this picture from the Halloween party that he went to the year before in 1983. I hate people who have the same costume year after year. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. So tacky. So Mike went on trial in 1988, pleaded guilty to first degree murder for the death of Doreen and second degree murder for the death of the unborn fetus.

And in September 1980, he was sentenced to die in the gas chamber. But fun fact, Carl, as of right now, still alive in San Quentin Prison. All right. The state of California is keeping this sack of shit, baby murdering fucking asshole alive. That's what they do. That's what they do. And they tax some of the people who live in that state. And those are the people who are paying for it.

You know, I believe that Dick Masterson is personally paying for Mike Dennis to be kept alive. That is very true. Horrible. So if you want to vote for me, folks, you could go to patreon.com right now. Patreon.com backslash the creep off. The poll just got posted as we concluded. So it's up now. feel free to vote this week.

And let's see if we can make this 3 to 1. Great presentation, Vinny. We are celebrating Super Chat Monday. People are having a good time with this today. So we appreciate that very much. Happy Super Chat Monday, Carl. How about them Patriots five in a row? Fucking tell me about it, bro.

Tell me about it. I got to sit here being a Dolphins fan. The only thing worse is being a Jets fucking fan. I keep going to the Jets won that game, but whatever. Yeah, good for you, Patriots. Good for you. Congratulations. Offense looks legit.

Looking good. Are you saying that this woman here, Kathy Scott, Labrne Mystic, are you saying that Kathy looks like a face printed out of thumb? I think it's what Labristic is saying, yes. Okay. That's a lovely woman. How dare you? Hey, our pal, Sorton, scale.

Mike Boudet is still laughing at the electric can opener line, L.O.L. This was brought up on this little piggy. Someone read that my face was like an electric can opener in a subreddit somewhere. Yes. Very good line. Thanks, Mike. We appreciate you, man. Labar Mystic, another two bucks.

Y'all could solve my murders faster? Yeah, I know, right? What an idiot. She's, it was a weird comment to have. Joseph Kansas. She wanted answers and tapped hands off the set. I says, hi, Carl, you're really funny. I like WATP.

Suck it, Venn. Suck it, Vin. Thank you very much. Come on. What kind of Jagoff likes the Celtics and the Dolvens? A 1980s front runner, that too. Hi, Vin. Congrats on the weight loss.

A big guy. vote for Carl, aw, shucks. Yeah, Vince's teams, or Vinnie's teams are ridiculous. I really do have weird choices. You do. Vinny brought a Halloween slasher film antagonist. That is correct, Laverin. And on top it off, he, uh...

Gifted a membership. Thank you so much, Laver Mystic. Truly appreciate it. One of the good ones over there. He is one of the good ones. Keeping the lights on at the creep-off studios. All right, Vinny, you ready for the Carl's Cop-Cam segment of the show? Sure, I'm.

I can't wait to see Carl's Cop-Camp. Fight with the cops for no reason. Will you please show me because cop can lose all your rights, ruin your life? You know what we haven't looked at in a minute? Just some good old-fashioned white trash. You ready to meet some white trash, Vinny? Oh, didn't we meet them all in your segment there? We met a couple of them, but here's a couple more.

So one of the things that happened... Oh, I'm so sorry, buddy. One of the things that happens with white trash is a thing called Outstanding Warrants. And so that's going to be the tale of today's cop cam video from Jose who set this in. Thank you, Jose, for sending this. All right, let's go. On July 2nd, 2004, police conducted a traffic stop and later discovered the driver had outstanding warrants after the stop had ended. When officers located her again, what started as a simple warrant arrest turned out to be much more than they would spend.

We're gonna talk, don't. You have warrants. No, I fucking talk for work. What, what? No, no, no, no. What did I do? Can I do? Can I call my brother?

Second Street. What do I have warrants for? You don't know yet. Dispatch just told me as you pulled away. Pickwa. Can I call my... Can I call my brother? Huh?

Can I call my brother? Not to you come out here and talk to me. Not to you come out and talk to me. I was. No, you won't. You won't call him. Yes, I'm right. I have kids. Call my fucking brother.

I love. The other thing with white trash people is that they always have, like, really high priority phone calls they have to make to their brother or their friend or something. It's just like, yeah, it's not going to change the fact that I have an outstanding warrant for your arrest. What does that have to do with anything? If I'm this woman, I dive into their lawn here. Yeah, right. I'll never find her. I would quit.

If I was a cop, I'd be like, you'd quit like their landscaper did? Jesus Christ. It's not great. So let's get this, these charges explain because she's confused. She doesn't understand why there's a warrant out for her arrest. Okay. What the fuck did I do? From what I can tell, it's criminal trespass and theft at a Walmart.

Nobody stole at Walmart. That happened in Sydney today. The other day, whenever I told you, they said I was trespassing. I didn't take a fucking thing. I left myself at the register and I left. Please look at the footage. That's not my charge. Please do me that favor.

And it's just letting look at us. That's not fair. That's not my charge. Oh, you want to look at the security cameras from Walmart? Yeah, let me just pull that up in my phone. I can't do that, you fucking idiots. Also, that story is weird. You grabbed a bunch of stuff and then left it at the register and left?

Why? They said I was trespassing, Carl. Aren't you listening? I got to tell you, this woman has some fine tattoos. Oh, boy. She looks like graffiti. Yeah. And not in the fun type.

Yeah, not. It's not like a mural. Like what the city paid for. Yeah, that's garbage. No, this is not great. So this is a fun turn of events right here as they're looking for another person who has an active search, or an active warrant. Where's Kirkland?

He's Kirkland. You're Kirkland? Yeah. Don't tell me, I got one. You got warrants, too. Yeah, come here. Hold on. Come here.

I don't know I got one for people. Same thing. Same thing. Same thing. I ain't ever stole out of picket. What? The weirdest guy's got the weirdest I've ever seen on a man. It's so bizarre looking.

All right, so yeah, so Kirkland's there. Apparently, he's got the same warrant. They're just like, Kirkland. You know Kirkland's like, yeah, it's that guy right there. All right, well, here we go. Why does this fucking piece of white trash have a name like a butler? Right? I know.

It's a little too fancy. Yeah, I agree. I mean, this dude's wearing the shittiest looking Cambo shorts I've ever seen in my life. Well, my real name's cleveland, but I go by Kirkland. You know, it's my nickname. Kirkland's a family name. All right. So this is another fun thing with white trash people, is trying to keep track of all

court dates that them and their family members have my next clip yeah my son has court tomorrow oh shit i have fucking court too tomorrow no you don't you have court on the eight so you don't have court for fucking goddamn uh reviction you don't have court your dad has court no i'm watching on that my son has court tomorrow i have court tomorrow no you have court next week but your dad has court thursday like could you imagine what they're calendars look like? It's just court, court, court, court. We have a court calendar in the kitchen. The court calendar. Look at that guys. So I've never seen a beerbelly like that. Carl, you have an illness. There's something wrong there. Right. It's got to be. It looks like, what size ball would that be? That's a basketball. Even bigger than that, though, like a medicine ball or something, just protruding from his stomach. Cancer gut. What do you guys think that is?

Oh, man. That's all the shit. I bet you that's where she hides the shit she steals from Walmart. Oh, that's where he's hiding it. We should open that thing up and see what's in there. I don't want to open that thing up and find the kinderger boy splashing all over the driveway. All right. So this woman's car, you might have noticed it's facing the wrong direction parked down the street over here. And she's going to jail because she has a warrant off of her arrest. Right.

And so they're like, can you get someone to come down here and move your car or else it's going to get towed? It's going to get ticketed. It's parked illegally. And for some reason, reason she doesn't want to do that really yeah she doesn't want to just move it nope okay will you guys have my car toad no we don't want to take your car i would rather have my car to stay here is somebody here allowed to legally park it parked it on the road i don't trust any of one a female 21 can someone drive your car because pickle will tow it yeah i would rather people tell it

to be honest i don't want it here you want it to i would rather it tell me you're up here you're dumber you're dumb i'm not dumb i would rather pay a tow bill than you're not have my shit because you're parked the wrong way and on the side of the she's like all that shit i stole from walmart's someone there i don't want you guys get your hands on it okay carl i i cannot with this guy's fucking stomach i know it's so distracting i know it's so weird carl it's like a giant basketball that has a double chin there's like two basketballs yeah there's like a double chin hanging from over this giant tumor like thing it's like It's not a pregnant Michael Stipe, Amber Lert.

That's actually a good poll. That's pretty funny. This is disgusting. Just take him to the hospital. Don't take him to jail. Listen, I know. It's very gross. I don't know what's going on with him.

That's not the point. Let's stay focused here, Vinny. All right? The point is not what disease this man has. The point is this woman is getting arrested. And they're saying, man, do you want to just move your car? She's like, can someone in there move your car? She's like, I don't want anyone in my car.

I'd rather get towed. Sure. Because I guess she feels like someone's going to steal shit from her or something. Turns out these two don't have a great relationship in my next clip. Is Kirkland a trans man? I don't think so. A very pregnant trans man. It'll be in her property.

Hey, Zay, figure out how the fucking get me out. You're not going to get out. None of them are going to bond you out, dumbass. Are you stupid, I'm not to put her in the car. I might be a stupid. At least I'm going around beating on women. You're a beat on women? Yes.

You're the feteet. That's why we're getting put in place. Yeah. Mast for the God. That's why I'm getting put in position. You're a thief, motherfucker. Hey, Blackburn, put her in mine. Put her in mine.

Wow, what a great boyfriend. Yeah, you're the one who stole from Walmart. Come on. I just said I didn't. Did he just hear me tell the officer that I didn't steal from Walmart? Fuck. Well, I mean, she's talking a lot of shit. Yeah, she did talk about how he beats her.

I mean, is this? Well, clearly he doesn't because she hasn't learned a lesson. That's a good point. Is this a little too stereotypical? Should white trash be offended by him? this. If I'm trying to think of someone that we know, that would be, if I'm

Zenhauser, I'm going, hey guys, it's a little bit too on point here. It's very offensive. Yeah, this might be what Ozempic does to people. I don't know. Carl, this is really like a trailer park character this is like trailer park boys.

It is. Yes. It's everything you want it to be. All right. Well, again, this woman is obsessed with her car getting towed. My clip seven go and get a toll rolling i'm not i'm not fighting with this is there anything inside that car i need to be aware of what car yours before we tell anytime we tow we have to inventory why do you have to inventory my car to make sure there's no guns drugs or large or much cash i don't know what he has in there who this is what happens when you said tow it well then don't

I'll tell it. That's too I, yeah. I don't know what's in there, so don't. Oh, no. So there's something really cool in there that she didn't want anyone to find. Oh, man. And she's just like, yeah, just told her that way. Don't want to find my cool shit.

They're like, all right, well, we're going to have to look through it before we tell it. Fuck. What? She didn't know that. There's so many things about her that I find charming and adorable. Oh, yeah. Her naivete.

Oh, yeah. And her legitimate surprise. Yep. So my next clip, the police I was going to find what she does not want other people to find. other people to find in that car. Oh, man. Z-34, check up. Bingo.

Yep, that would be the meth and the meth pipe and all the things that you'd expect to find in this moment's car. Let's talk about meth, baby. Let's talk about a yes-a-ree. Let's talk about all the bad things and the bad things, meth and see.

Let's talk about meth. All right, so he walks back over, reads or her rights and then has some questions for her because you remember she last said I don't know what's in that car I mean that guy my boyfriend's putting all sorts of weird shit in my car lately I don't know what's going on yeah good point well what's in the black sunglasses case that's right in the middle I don't know that's his sunglasses case is he going to say that or is he going to say no I can prove that it's his I've I have pictures of him showing if him showing those glasses to me yes so I have proof I can prove

that that is not my sunglasses case please Please it, please. Oh, the problem is it's your car. Please, let me prove it. I have kids, please. What's going to be the crystal-like substance inside of the glass case? My fucking goddamn trucks they sell. My hands are kind of tied right now.

Why? Because you're going to get the charge for it. But it's not mine. They're not even my sunglasses case. You were in the car when I was just dealt with you. I found you over here. But it's not my sunglasses case. And she can prove us that her sunglasses case.

She has a picture. This reminds me like something Suttering John would say, no, you could call Vegas beer sales, Jerry. He'll tell you that's not my. My sunglasses case. That's the proof. I have proof. I have proof.

You dumb fuck. It doesn't make any fucking sense. Man, the sunglasses case actually is not illegal. It's what's inside it is the problem that we're having. Oh, Stone Man got me. Officer, I keep my meth in a white case. Right, yes, that can be my bath. Why did she also, you probably shouldn't yell, it's the meth they sell.

You shouldn't yell that either. Right. Yeah, I mean, everyone's throwing everyone under the bus here. There's, they don't seem to have. a lot of loyalty. Well, they'll all meet up in the holding cells in about an hour. That's true. All of a sudden, this woman turns into an attorney, which is pretty impressive based on what we've heard out of her mouth. So, well, I've heard the offsets are easy. Yep, that's true. Okay.

I don't know. But it's your car. It's my car. You had no right to search it. I'm doing an inventory. That's not an inventory. If you're charging me with it. Once I find it, that's why I'm talking you. That's why I read you your rights. Do you want your wallet to go with you to jail for all your money and stuff? Yes, I do. Okay, so while he's questioning her... Hey, can you grab my sunglasses case? I'm definitely going to need that in jail.

While he's questioning her, she's throwing Kirkland under the bus. She's like, oh my gosh, this guy's dealing drugs, and he's been driving my car everywhere, and he brings all the drugs with him in my car. So they decided to go over and talk to Kirkland and be like, you know what she's saying? Let's see if we can get a confession out of Kirkland for this. Do you know anything about this? Were you driving at all today? Nope.

No? So after she left the trailer park, where'd she go? I guess she came straight here. I didn't even know she was up here. Did you go to the gas station with her all today? Sure. Nothing. I went to gas station.

I've never heard of a gas station. Were you at the trailer park today? This is not real, right? These people are too on the nose. It's a little too perfect. Did the AI write this? they might be because like they said beer belly and that's what a i came up with right oh my holy shit did i get fooled again is that what's happening not the first time so all right so this

guy goes yeah i don't know anything about that paraphernalia i don't know anything about drugs so they're like all right well i guess we're going to have to pin it on the bitch and all of a sudden vini you can't believe what's happening here my clip number 12 turns out she has an injury we didn't know about i have brain damage my collarbone is broken please it's it hurts get out get out oh right around when's the last time you used when's the last time i used what don't you're sweating for you peruse in there all right so uh she was charged with of course uh Passing the theft at Walmart as well as possession of narcotics. And that's the last we know about these,

this delightful couple. Thank you, Jose, for sending that in. A lot of fun today. The king and queen of the trailer part. You know, Vinnie, I bring it up from time to time. I think you and I talked about this after our show on Friday. So Monday mornings and Friday mornings, I get up and I start prepping for the creep off, the regular show or the bonus show.

And it's fun, except for the times when it's not. and there are times when whatever I'm prepping for is so disturbing that it kind of sets me off a little bit puts me in a weird mood. Today that was not the case. Yay! I enjoyed this cop cam quite a bit. Thank you, Jose, for sending me more white trash copcams, please. I love it.

Dude, send them our way. We love it. Yes. Oh, man, speaking of white trash, you know Halloween's this weekend, Carl. It is, yes. Are you going to wear a costume? Probably not. You don't do like slutty Ewok?

That's a fun idea. That's fun. I like that. Okay. I'm just wondering. Good. All right. Well, it's time for...

Maybe I'll put that in AI and see what I would look like as a slutty EWalk for you, Vinny. I already did it. It'll look a little something like this. You did not. Of course I did. Did you know that it's Super Champ Monday still? I sure did. It's still Super Chat Monday people are celebrating.

I love that about them. Oh, my God. Francie Campbell 1043. Thanks for the 10 bucks. Great to meet you in Detroit, Vinny. Love the show, guys. Francie, my dear. She is a sweetheart.

Her son's a big fan of the show. show and introduced her to it. Nice. Back in, I want to say the early 80s, she had a stalker. She was telling me the story about this, and I really want to have her on the show and learn about the story. She had a guy stalking her, and then a girl in her school had the same color of hair and stuff like that, like, was found dead.

Oh, no. I thought that's where this was going. Oh, shit. Like, they think that this dude who was started, because she was in pageants, I believe, was the story. She got the raw girl that skipped out. I guess. Yikes.

That's a wild story. I want to hear the whole thing, Francie. Good to hear from me, Francie. Thanks for being here. The creepoff pod at gmail.com. Send me an email. I, thanks for the 499. I'm trying to stir support for you, Carl,

but your presentation sucked. You lost again, step it up, Clever. Also, how your donkey lips, I get a chip super tip. That would be a good idea to get chip on the supertip system. My presentation sucked. Yep. Come on.

That was great. I showed you that this family was murdered. I showed you the daughter discovers it, goes on the news, calls 911 one. And then it's her. That was a twist. That was good shit. Hacked up a baby fresh out the uterus.

Fresh out of the oven. You know, when you take a cake out of the oven, if you start to cut it up too early, it gets all fucked up. A lot of people in this money is a pro-choice, Vinnie. Labromistic things for jokes. Kirkwood is his booze brand. Ab's beer belly redneck. Wow.

Daniel Adams 3-871. Why would you not wear a shirt with that stomach? Zero shame. It's crazy Spoke too soon Dude swallowed a twin in the womb Oh, that's possible Yeah, it's his brother in there

Elvis had that too This is Jesse Thanks for the two bucks labyrinth No one can move the car We all got TUIs in court Right, that might be it Is that a giant busted upper lip No

I didn't see that I didn't see that Uh jishaparadini Losing my digestion The name That's me and the core of the episode. Thank you. Losing my digestion.

Bravo. One more came in. Good. Keep him coming. Bottom lip. Bottom lip. I mean, bust some of her lips, something. Yeah.

Captain Blackbread, thanks for the Fiverr. I love how the cops spoke those words. He's 100% fucking with her. Oh, yeah. Of course they were. Yeah, yeah. They're having as much fun as we are. Absolutely.

That's why you sign up for that job. Carl, let's do some voicemail, shall we? Yep. The Creepoff voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse. Thanks to food stamps ending November 1st, you can get a hotel room here for only two packs of ramen. See you in Syracuse. He's got two packs of ramen. Never a better time to visit Syracuse.

Our buddy Ronnie, speaking of Syracuse, left us a message. Hey guys, Ronnie and Syracuse got an idea for the wheel of concerts. consequences. How about a trip to the New York State Fair? And then while you're there, document and you visit, they got these wooden cutouts where you can stick your face in via cow or a farmer or space ban or whatever. But it's perfect for a guy like Carl who seems to lose all the time because he procrastinates. And so no matter when he wins it, by the time he goes, it'll be all right. It's a much shorter trip that's going to Gary, Indiana, or to Tom Myers restaurant in Baltimore. So New York State Fair. Stick it on the wheel. Thank you,

fuck you, Bob. I'd rather motorboat that guy in the cop cam video's stomach than stick my face in one of those things at the New York State Fair. Hold on a second, but we're losing our way if a consequence is going to the State Fair. Oh, Kurt, what did you have to do for your consequence? I don't know, I watch live music and got drunk. So I played a couple games. You know, it's kind of funny here that Carl Now is so confident because there's new voting that he's like, well, let's make the consequences way worse now, guys. No, I'm all for it. I definitely will be the next person spinning this wheel. I know

this works. I've been here before. Boy, we got, do you have any voicemail? I do. Here's one for us. This message is for the creep off. So what you guys failed to recognize on the Stam Club story is that it happened

at 9.50 a.m. Which means that this gentleman had an early bird membership. And I don't think you guys realize that part of one of the perks of the early bird membership. You get to piss wherever you want. So next time do a little bit of research

before you start talking. Thank you fucking bye. See, I don't have a Sam's Club membership. We did a story last week about a guy who's pissed on over $10,000 worth of merchandise in the Sam's Club. Right. But I didn't realize that you're allowed to do that. It's one of the perks of having the early bird special on there. That guy was like 70 years old too. It's amazing

what a piss stream that guy still had. It's impressive. $10,000 with a stuff. Why do lonely people need a Sam's Club? membership like that's the reason why i don't buy in bulk because it's just me and my wife we don't really need to buy it i i generally think that they're old and uh they are confused by the club aspect of it i think they want a deal i think they're excited about a deal it could be it could be bargain hunters they just buy a bunch of shit and like we're going to leave it for the grandkids right you'll have all the paper towels you'll ever need oh my gosh you'll never have to buy toilet

paper again thanks grandma great i hate this brand i inherited eight giant bottles of listering thanks grandma i just had to buy another house for them but it's great thanks i would have rather had the money yeah carl everybody listen kids when you call the creep off i got voicemails here they're a minute a minute and a half they're all too long guys i'm not playing them yeah yeah we got to keep it under 45 seconds 30 seconds is ideal or less uh daniel has a good idea maybe this maybe we put this on the wheel of consequences not just go to the fair but also do meth before going to the fair you're not going to trick me i'm pretty sure that's what you're supposed to supposed to do when you go to the New York

State Fair in Syracuse? That's how you blend in. Bad Bad his Sativa 71. I went to the New York State Fair and it sucked like a meth head hooker. Okay. I mean, are there other types of hookers that you can get? I didn't realize we had options on this. Really? You're only buying the meth head ones.

That's all we got. Where are you going? The inventory is what the inventory is. Central New York. Where do you go for hookers? Not the bus station. Oh, okay. Maybe I was doing it a dog. All right.

Well, Carl, I believe that makes it time for a scum parade. You ready, buddy? Yep. It's time for us to listen to the scum parade with dogs and murder drugs and jaywalking. You'll hear a guy who fucked his dog and catch up on the news this week. I want to hear the scum parade. Where's the scum parade? Where's the scum parade?

Carl, I want to introduce you to Victorite, Vicaray. Victoria Goodwin. Okay, yeah. She's 32 years old. She's sad. She's very sad because she's been arrested. This is her and her husband. He is a famous ghost hunter.

I believe Christopher Goodwin is his name. And he is the star, I'm sorry, Aaron Goodwin. And he is the star of a show called Ghost Adventures. Oh, but I bet he captures a lot of ghosts, right? No, I don't think they ever actually get one. Oh. But they hear a sound, though, right, that they can listen back to on a staticky recording? yep and they see like um it's like dark somewhere but they can't really see anything but if you

like you know the image isn't kind of blurry and you can't really see in hd it looks like maybe there's something there right nope probably not okay according to him maybe but i just have to say carl i think she was trying to help him and this whole thing's misunderstood oh but i'll get there okay um the discovery network is going to be uh discovery plus is going to be playing a new episode of Ghost Adventures capturing the moment that host Aaron Goodwin learned his wife had been arrested for co-cocting a murder for a higher plot to kill

him. What? Finally, something gets caught on one of these shows. Right, yes. Finally something interesting happened. The clip aired on Wednesday and it captured Goodwin staring down at his phone in March in astonishment where he

goes, hold on a second on camera, walked away to answer a call and everybody's going, okay you okay and he comes back goes bro the police are in my house i gotta go outside goodwin responds before storming out in the pitch black abandoned medical complex um they didn't show all of it but basically what happened is he's 32 years old and uh victoria have been sleeping with multiple men including in a convicted killer hold on he's 49 oh i'm sorry she's 32 she's 32 many people are wondering why i married an older woman

see older women aren't trying to have their husbands taken out by a hitman also i'm not worth very much money and that's the reason why i'm not worth very much money so that my wife won't try to have me murdered because i don't have any money that's why you married an older woman that's why i married an older woman and that's why i'm poor huh those two reasons i thought you would have said love for love well jenn doesn't watch the show i could be honest out here okay good point Works out well. Until one of my buddies narks on me. Like what happened last time.

Producer Chris, clip this. Fuck. Give it to Jetty. So, Goodwin learned that his wife, Victoria, had been arrested on solicitation to commit murder and conspiracy to commit murder charges for hiring a hitman to kill him. In the months leading up to the plot. If you want something done right, you really just got to do it yourself. Correct. Yes.

Unless it's lawn care. I'm definitely outsourcing that. But murdering my husband, you got to take that into your own hands. See, lawn care is why you marry a younger woman. I'm listening. Yeah. My wife totally mows a lot of my house. Oh, yeah.

Look at you. My wife loves gardening. You're a baller. I know. You're a baller. She loves lawn care and shit like that. So you're taking jobs away from the Mexicans, is what you're telling me right now. Ice tried to take her.

And they're like, oh, sorry, ma'am. We see that lily white skin. We apologize. She just started talking to her Alabama accent. They're like, oh, there's no way anyone from Mexico would develop this accent. true you're free to go there's no way she let him back skin to her with that accent she doesn't have the alabama accent thank god but she's into fucking lawn and shit she loves doing it so like i'll assist and do whatever she tells me to do i'll do the edgine or whatever

but she's like i'm gonna mow are we still taking a victory lap over this i get it congratulations hit the music congratulations fuck yeah you got a young hot wife who mows the lawn we're all proud of you're all proud of She snowblows, too, Carl. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. All right. Now, now I'm jealous.

Now I'm jealous. True story. So she was sleeping with multiple men, like I said. My wife shovels. I wouldn't even invest in a snowplower. She's like, this will be way easy if you had a snowboard. I'm like, get out there and shovel bitch. What am I, a monster?

She's sleeping with multiple men, including a convicted killer named Grant Amato. So this guy, apparently, she's banging Amato, who ends up getting convicted of massacred. occurring his mother, father, and brothers was serving a life sentence at a Florida prison when she reached out to him as a pen pal following his role in a documentary called Control Alt Desire. Victoria had been messaging a motto since October 2024, openly expressing a desire to kill Goodwin to get out of her marriage. Nice.

She would say things like, am I a bad person? Because I choose to end his existence, not divorce. If you have to write the question, am I a bad person? The answer is usually yes. Yes. When you preface the question like that. that. Yes.

So I'm a bad person I want to murder my husband rather than just file for divorce? Yeah, for sure. Police cited Victoria texting the inmate. She also allegedly offered $11,515 to pay for the job and passed the long info about her husband's location to a model to provide a hitman he was communicating with the pull off the slains. It's actually better negotiating than you realize. The guy was like, I won't do it for a dime less than $11,520. And she got him down to $11,515. Pretty good negotiating.

dude I imagine he started 11,550 yep she got him way down yeah and she just 35 bucks off for me and he was saying like fine fine what what what tip do you give to a hitman is it like based on a percentage is it 15% is it 18 that's a good question I haven't hired a hitman in the 2020s I don't know what the etiquette is and my experience for most things it's 20% yeah if they do a good job oh yeah that's true it's not like Grubhub and DoorDash, you have to fucking tip them ahead of time. I hate that. Oh, my God. I wish there was a take it back button.

Could you imagine? Oh, I would take it back. You imagine if you had to fucking tip your hitman before the job has done. And the next thing you know, people are seeing his text messages. It's proof that you're the one who hired them. You're like, I should never have given him 20%. What the fuck?

Carl, nothing in this world pisses me off than the tip before the service. Yeah, we've talked about this before on this show. I'm so irritated by it. Let me. Can I tell you another thing that really pisses me off? Please. We grind your gears. I enjoy going to sporting events.

Many, we talk about sports on this show from time to time, more so than people want us to. And so I like going to these games. It's now turned into a thing where you go and grab your own drinking food, you walk up to a register, and then they expect 15 to 20% for them to just rig it up. It's fucking astounding. Here's your cup. Tell yourself. Why am I tipping you for this? I'm sorry.

Are the sabers not paying? you it's not my job to pay you idiot you know it's really making me crazy right now what's that right here at comedy at the carlson where we are uh recording every monday we have a brand new venue right next door and uh the address on that is uh a few numbers different than the address of the carlson one two three fake street yes so let's say car the carlson is one two three fake street that's one two four fake street what let's just say that would be one to the new space it wouldn't be one No, okay, gotcha, okay. Yeah, they're very close.

Yeah. But for some reason, we have no number on the front of the Carlson. It's just a big sign that says comedy at the Carlson. And a big side that says ATM here, come get whatever you want. Right. Free ATM. Help yourself to the ATM after office. If I order lunch and I go to have lunch delivered, right?

I say, on the fucking thing, look for comedy at the Carlson, a blue and white side. I see where this is going. Deliver up to the door. Now, since the new place opened, on the space. next door, they put the new space number on the door and the Carlson number on that door as well. I will never get food delivered to the right place ever at this fucking place. So when Vince the Warrior sends you Miller High Life. I'll never get it.

40 ounce Miller High Life. We'll never even get it. That's so annoying. Oh, my God. And every time I write the same thing. I have it saved. Look for the blue and white comedy at the Carlson sign. Deliver at those doors, please.

I mean, the front of this place is. is full of screens that are promoting all the comics that are coming up. There's a giant atrium with posters of big comics who are coming in. You can't find the copy at the Carlson. It's not the bully, Haley. And it's not the brand new place, the posh place that opened up next door. It's the comedy club with all the comedians on it. Stone Man's right.

This was my weight loss plan. Every day I order lunch and it never comes. It's smart, actually. It works out well. Oh, I want to kill them all. And every day I have to go stand out there if I order food. I got to stand out there and wait. and I watch from in front of the carlson of the boat

every time walk over to the other door and I got to yell across the way. Hey, shithead. Poor Vinny. Guys, can I just paint this picture right now? Because I feel like sometimes you guys don't realize how difficult Vinny's life is. So he orders food to be delivered to his job

where he doesn't do anything. And he stands outside smoking a joint and playing with his dog while I wish for the food to be delivered. It's a tough existence that he has, guys. Vote for Vinny. I take everything back. Vote for Vinny. He needs it.

I mean, it's not a guy. It's a snowblower or anything. Jesus Christ, you're a lazy motherfucker. You really are. There's a goddamn kitchen in this place. Walk back in that kitchen and fix yourself up a meal. I wouldn't eat here either. I'm just joking.

Mark doesn't watch this, right? Nope. All right. I like to order from Redfern. Redfern's very good. It is. And I can't get my fucking food. I get very cranky.

So, long story short, cops discovered this was going on. yeah we're doing a thing because the murder for a hire plot was only discovered after the corrections officers confiscated his cell phone that they caught is contraband yeah he's not even allowed to have a cell phone and she's typing to him while he's in prison hey but you please murder my husband who's famous and on tv what an idiot but uh this is basically a giant commercial for ghost adventures if you want to go watch this guy find out his wife was going to kill him you can cool the episode is titled who gives a fuck who gives a shit he went from the star of the show to

one of the main characters. I'm telling you. Because he's killed. Yeah. Becomes the ghost that they're adventuring. Now, here's my thought, though. Yeah. I think she was trying to help the whole ghost adventurers team by creating a ghost.

Right. There you go. That was very nice of her. You want to find out what happens after death, motherfucker? I'll make sure you do. What a dumb bitch. All right. Speaking of dumb bitches, let's talk about this woman.

This is Raquel Houghton. She's 44 years old. She was picked up on a warrant at her Brock's home Monday afternoon last week. More than a month after she allegedly beat up 55-year-year-old. Cynthia Van multiple times on the 8th floor of the of the Lincoln Medical Center in New York. The woman died from the beatdown. She was charged with manslaughter and felony assault

an order held without bail. So this was her roommate in the hospital. Yep. Now, I have to say, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, you do not get full points for killing someone who's already in a hospital bet. Half credit at best. The worst part about...

I'm not impressed, I guess is my point. If there's an opportunity to kill someone where you all you can do is unplug something, you're not that impressive. Dude, I think about my poor, like, mother, if you ever asked to go to the hospital. And then they have just some lunatic. And it turns out this woman has a history of attacking medical professionals. She does. Now, in her defense, you know, you know how it is to have those rooms. They just have that little curtain separating you two?

Yeah. And the woman could have been snoring. I mean... Well, she stopped now. Exactly. That's how you get her to stop right there. dude the woman was asleep in her bed and she came over just started punching her in the face like she was fucking raja jackson she sure did that's well done oh man so uh meanwhile hotin was arrested the day after the attack for allegedly slapping another patient's aide who was taking her vital signs i gotta tell i didn't see her picture on this i was just picturing like a jewish woman when i heard about this no no no no i said that a jewish woman who's beating up medical professionals and murdering her roommate?

No, correct. She hit the person because she squeezed her hand too hard. So she's got a bit of a hair trigger there. Well, in custody for assault investigators also connected Houghton to the victim to the attack on Vand, but prosecutors said they deferred the case because of a lack of evidence. Prosecutors asked for Houton to be held for a $30,000 bail and a $90,000 bond, but instead the judge gave her a $5,000 bail and a $1,000 bond.

Isn't that nice? Let's just let her fucking out I don't understand New York at all So she has been released On her own recognizance now Oh great We can trust her Oh I'm sorry

You know She was released on her own recognizance from an arrest in July For Petit Larsoning criminal possession Of stolen property So if she had just gone to jail for what she had done This poor woman who went to the hospital Because she was sick would still be alive And we wouldn't be talking about that

this fucking piece of shit nice so great job new york state she could have been dead for medical malpractice like the rest of them yeah and that her family would have had a chance to get in a settlement right god damn it oh man shrinking in my seat again i hate this chair so much wow the uh little thing is on the back i know you told me that last time i could not figure it out hold i'm trying this uh nope see it doesn't it's on the other side it doesn't do anything it's not on the other side it's there's nothing on this side okay well you're doing it wrong bitch I hate you. You're going to come in there

just be like a little kid's desk one of these days I'm just having a little child's desk. I hate you so much. Hey Carl, let me ask you a question. Now that's, you know,

your mom's single again. How would you feel about her dating? Jesus Christ, Fannie, fuck. What? What the fuck? We might fight after this.

Why? My mom's single again too. My dad's gone. Jesus Christ. Has your mom talked about dating? No. It's wrong with you. What do you mean?

My mom's a saint Yeah You don't want her to find a nice guy Let's move on You want your mom to be alone forever I don't She's not alone She has a lot of friends and family members who love her

But what does she want some dick Jesus Christ All right This is going to be bad to worse All right I'll leave be alone Here's why I asked Carl Let's talk about our next story

Okay This is Dylan Lang state police say a Jackson Township man This is Pennsylvania Killed another man Saturday After finding a man in a parked vehicle with his mother And I just wanted to find out If this is the kind of kids you are

Would you be that upset if you found your mom Blowing a guy in a truck? I saw this I actually saw this happen It was in Back to the Future I know exactly what's what's going on here So he's basically trying to stop Griff from taking over Yes Okay

Dude this guy takes his mom very seriously I wouldn't even make a yo mama so fat joke around this guy. Apparently not. Yeah. So he approached a pickup truck parked outside his family's Heritage Lane home in Jackson Township. He confronted his mother and Robert Edward Hagen, Jr., who were engaging in an, quote, intimate act. Uh-huh. Lange holding a flashlight attached to a handgun, ordered Hagen 55 to get away from his mother, and then smashed one of the truck's back windows.

Lang then leaned inside Hanging's truck, firing one shot from behind the driver's seat. State trooper Stephanie Smith wrote an affidavit. Lang's mother advised that Hagan put the truck in drive and attempted to drive off. Smith wrote put the truck veered off the driveway into the yard. Hagen's face went pale and he stopped responding. Yeah, it's hard to drive with a bullet in you. Yeah, when you're bleeding out. Yeah.

Police said the woman told her son to call 911, but Lange allegedly responded by saying, why? Yeah. But she goes, you shot him. He's like, I'm so. Don't be a horror, mom. Yeah, what did you want me to do? well you want this going all over school you want everybody at school know you're easy

you know what this guy should just be happy that his mom found a man to love her and then another man and then another man then a man after that and this is what's so fucking crazy about this I agree right here Tiger Lily nailed it

I take my own life I saw my mother and it's right I'm sucking up a guy I blew my head up so apparently this mom's a real whore. Yeah, it's a story. Because this was not her husband. So she's married to his step-to-head is sleeping in the house while she's out getting a rim job from this guy. Yeah. Old bleeding out Bill, Bill Hagan. Yeah. So he is in a bit of trouble. Hard to keep an erection by the way after getting

shot, too. That's another thing. I'll let me know that blood flow very important when it comes to having intercourse. Yeah, man, the thing deflated like a balloon. It just so sad. It's so sad. She's like, she's chasing the dick down into his crotch. No one clip that. No one clip that. If that's a gif in my discord, I'll be very upset. Why'd you do it twice? No one clip that.

Sucking on a shrinking dick. call this episode Sucking out a Shrieking Dick Oh, what do we say the name of it was already? I don't remember. Oh, yeah. Okay. Either way, he's in a lot of trouble. Yeah.

Let's tell you about this lovely gal. No, she's beautiful. 63-year-old Gala Bennett of Midland, Michigan, Carl. Oh, I didn't see her photo in the article you sent me. Oh, there she is. She looks like a sour piece of ball of cabbage. She should be happy. About what?

She was living a pretty good life, Vinny. Well. She was arraigned Monday, and 47 counts of criminal sexual misconduct after a family alleged their children were abused while under care between 2013 and 2020, seven fucking years of bad parenting. The charges include 24 counts of first degree criminal sexual conduct with a child younger than 13, 12 counts of sexual degree criminal sexual conduct with a child younger than 13, as well as 11 counts of assault with intent to commit sexual penetration. What was her job? Oh, she was a nanny daycare worker. What a life. Can you imagine these parents just keep dropping off their sexy kids who are at DTF right to your house every day.

You're like, oh, I mean, when you love what you do, you have to work a day in your life. Am I right, Benny? Guess not. This woman was just getting to fuck all these children with a parent just keep dropping off in the house. The abuse allegedly took place at Bennett's home on Prairie Road in Midland County. The investigation began earlier. This month after a Bay County family contacted authorities, one of the victims, one of the children,

said she was allegedly assaulted nearly every day since kindergarten while being babysat by Bennett. What was she wearing? Those cute little pigtails. Yeah, skirt. Investigators also alleged Bennett took photos of the abuse. Guys, people in the chat. Don't do, dumb, do, do, do people in the chat.

That is not stuttering John Melendez. I don't know why everyone thinks that's John Melendez. It's a totally different person. It looks more like Joyce to me. Hey, let's take a picture So we can remember the day that we spilled the paint She's taking photos of these naked kids The day we spilled the paint

Oh no, that might be the name of this episode I don't know A lot of choices Tell me in the comments What you want us to name is some bitch This is a terrible story She was arrested October 17 The police cede several electronic devices

From her home an examined for evidence. The incident remains under investigation and more charges may be sought. Good news is, Carl, remember that last lady who beat a poor unsuspecting sleeping woman to death? I do. I got a $5,000 bond. Well, they do things right in PA. She's being held on a $5 million bond. This is Michigan, but yes.

Oh, I'm sorry, Michigan. Forgive me. Same thing. It's really the same state. Michigan and Detroit? No one can tell the difference. Yeah. Michigan and Pennsylvania. Michigan and Detroit. Yeah. Fucking geography major. All their head coaches suck for their college football teams. Can you celebrate Super Chat Monday with me before we head out of here? I would love to, Carl.

Let's do that. How did you know I was going to ask, this Captain Blackbeard? Blackbread. Black bread. I know. I get fucked up on that, too. It's very annoying. I forget what that was about.

I saw it when it came in my bed. Sorry, bud. Labromistic, thanks to the fiber. I don't know. Imagine every time you ran out of TP that grandma swung by with a fresh nine pack of triple ply. Last one, don't come to school tomorrow. All right. Thanks, Labormistic.

Appreciate you, buddy. Oh, man. Rock Orby 2002, thanks for the Fiverr, imagine if Vinnie Scream meets the guy meets that guy with the big guy. It's that guy, the big guy, meets that guy

with the big guy. We got to stand top of this. Thank you, Rock, Orby, 2002. Yes, we should probably pay attention to these as they come in so we know what the fuck they're referencing. That's our bad. Thank you for the money, everybody.

Thank you for supporting the show. Thanks for being here. Tell a friend. Weight Watchers on Wednesday. Weight Watchers on Wednesday with Dick Masterson and Johnny the Audio Engineer and guest starring John Brakes Bad News. If you're not familiar with John Bricks Bad News, he's got an amazing business model where if you want to dump your girlfriend or tell your mom that your brother died, whatever you want to have to tell someone that's bad news, you get John to do it for you and he records it. It's fun stuff.

Yeah, it's a win-win for everybody. It really is. It's a good time. Carl. He has fun with it, too. I will see you on Wednesday, but until then, it's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. Good gear.

Check out Point Devil. Point. What'd you say, Carl? Point devil points on Shulie Network today at 4 p.m. Eastern with Missy Bean. That ain't funny. I'm