The Creep Off - Episode 301: The Continuing Adventures of Brandon & Kayla

Episode Date: February 16, 2026

 This week, Karl & Vinnie celebrate Presidents Day by nominating their picks for the biggest creep in our nation’s capital. We also check back in with the King and Queen of Cop Cam videos making their third appearance Brandon & Kayla! Plus your voicemails and a brand-new Scum Parade. Don’t forget to vote for who brought the biggest creep at Patreon.com/Thecreepoff  Check out this week’s scum parade stories here: https://www.jsonline.com/story/news/crime/2026/02/05/stoughton-police-use-drone-to-catch-serial-defecator-park/88528813007/https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/hospital-chief-exposed-himself-woman-36714257https://theywillkillyou.com/news/dad-accused-of-waterboarding-teen-daughter-over-unclean-room-police-sayhttps://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/mum-admits-freezing-two-newborn-36719589The score is currently Vinnie 0 - Karl 2 – Guest 4 visit thecreepoff.com to vote and decide this week’s winnerWant more of the madness? Support the show on Patreon, Supercast & Backed.by to snag exclusive merch and get an extra bonus episode every week!Don’t forget you can leave us a voicemail at 585-371-8108You can follow our Keeper of the Consequences Mahalia @mahellllyeahYou can follow our Results girl Danni on Instagram @Danni_Desolation

How many times do I have to tell these people we're like six weeks away. Hackamania is happening, Carl. Oh, shit. I got to get my flights. Oh, no. Melton bust my balls about this nonstop, too. I'm so bad. I got to do that tonight.

I got to remember to just book my freaking flights. I say it every day, and I don't do it. Real, you still, that's astounding to me. Have you booked your flights? Yeah. Of course you have. Son of a bitch. You know I have.

You've met me. I do things in advance like a good boy. I know. And you know what? You know what, people, if you want to be a good boy like me and you want to save 10%, you could use the promo code creep now and use that. Buy your tickets early. Because Vinny's a creep. Vinny's a good boy.

All right. Let's start the show. You procrastinating, son of a bitch. I know. Pitiful. It really is. It's not great. Sad.

You're listening to the Carl Network. If you're a kid, don't get on here, okay? See, that's how you do a disclaimer. You tell the kids that get out to fuck off the damn page. Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want.

Sensation. Horror shock. I'm going to deliver the good. because I'm alive and I'm not backing down. Vomot-inducing thing. Creepos, welcome to another episode of your favorite true cry podcast, the show about creeps. Bye creeps for you, creeps. I'm your host.

My name is Vinny. And joining me today in studio. It's everyone's favorite club foot. It's hot cuck-c-c-c-carl. I'm club fucking footed, you ass white. What is happening, Vinnie Paulino? Good to see you. You know, I just realized if you were watching the intro to that.

What? We should probably update. that. We should. Everyone's got their fun AI video intros now, and we have a bunch of stock footage, which is a great job. I think Alex put that together for us, right? No, it was Dave from Canada, I believe. Dave from Canada put that together. That's how wow, it's going back away. Aways. Yeah. So, uh, yeah, we should, um, update that. Okay. I will, uh, give a very nice prize to whoever, to, uh, whoever makes us the best show open. That'd be fantastic. Yes. I also have a call with a guy tomorrow who does a lot of that kind of work, so I can talk to him too. Oh, really? Yeah.

Wow. Whoa. You're impressed I'm taking an initiative. I really am. Yeah, I can tell. Like your face just lit up to say. Like, wait, you're going to do something for the creep off, Carl? What?

I'm just like, down like this. Did you just volunteer to help out the creep off, Carl? Without me even prompting it? Yes, really. I'll probably forget. That's usually what happens. I'll probably forget. You shouldn't get my hopes up like this.

Dude, I'm, uh, I'm tired today. What's wrong? I went to Buffalo last night to see the band to Mo. Dude, you love Mo. I was at a hippie jam show last night. It was great. You know, didn't they used to come through rocks all the time? Yeah, they're from here.

They're from like Syracuse. Right. They come through a lot. They played in Syracuse a couple nights ago. They played three nights in a row in Buffalo, and I went and saw the third night. And it was fantastic. They were really good. But Buffalo is far away and things are up out, you know, late.

Well, welcome to the creep off, Carl. Thanks, buddy. Oh, that's what it is. He's tired and he's feeling nice. Yes. You know what that is? I've let my guard down. I'm like, hey,

Can I help out guys? Like, Carl, shut up. What are you doing? You're just thinking you said, I could be nice right now. It'll be a tomorrow, Carl. All right, let's talk about what this show. This show is a contest.

It's a true crime show that's four men. Men like to compete. And we do that right here on this show. Because what Vinnie and I do is we both present who we think is the biggest creep in a certain category today. We're going to Washington, D.C. Happy president's day, everyone. And we'll be giving our perspective on the biggest creeps from D.C. You'll listen to both of our arguments.

Then you'll go to patreon.com slash the creep off and vote for you thought brought the bigger creep. We'll tally up those votes. Next week on this program, we'll bring in our results girl to let us know who won. Whoever won gets a point. When someone gets to five points, they win the round, and the loser has to spin the dreaded wheel of consequences. Oh, we've got to talk about your consequence, whatever. And I'm up one-nothing right now in this round. And Vinnie, I guess it's time to find out what happened last week.

Let's bring in our wonderful results girl. How now brown cow, it's Danny, Danny. Oh, here she comes, folks. Great ass! Look at that body utterly amazing. My penis can only get so erect. Don't stop now, just post more Danny. We need more Danny.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wait. Wait, I came at my pants. Songs over. Hi, Danny. Hi, guys.

Danny, is that something that happens to you a lot, premature ejaculation with guys? No. No. I would think that you would be used to that. And you'd be like, oh, it's okay. It's all right. It's been a bit. It's been a bit.

It's been a bit since that happened. How were you doing? How was your weekend, Danny? It was pretty good. You know, had kids all weekend. And now they have like two days off school. So it's an extra long weekend. God damn it.

Have you thought about Ether? Murdering them? Oh. No. I don't think so. I like them too much to murder them right now. All right. But we'll see at the end of these.

By the way, Danny, a very smart thing to say on the internet. I don't want to murder my kids. Smart. See, we get a lot of these people saying dump shit on the internet and they get caught. Don't Google it and don't say it on the internet. It's a good job, Danny. That's right. There's no way that Danny's children are dead already in the next room.

No, they're not a freezer somewhere. That's definitely for sure. Did anyone do that? She's a wonderful person. They're breathing and healthy and safe. Everyone who watches the show should have their hard drives checked. Not the point. The point is, Danny, do results from our last week's episode?

It was a wild card, right? Yes, it was a wild card round. It was a crazy one, too. We had 73% of the vote for one of the biggest creeps in show his street. 93% that's a landslide victory who got it it goes to Carl and you guys watching uh Olympic hockey right now the men's team three wins the two seed in the tournament oh no oh okay well let's not talk about that then fucking two points now I'm down what the fuck that was awesome thanks Danny it's a good start to my day

actually. Yeah, it'd be a shame. It'd be a shame if the cops find out about the secret room you keep them in. Remember that next time you bring the results. Thank you, Jameson, for sending in my creep last week. He actually went to school with the guy. Yeah, thanks for telling children. Thanks for sharing that with us.

You know, I got another email the other day from a listener, and I'm going to read it on the bonus episode on Friday. Okay. But his principals in the Epstein files. Oh. I mean, everyone's in the upstate files, right? No, but this person, like, ran a private school for, like, children. Okay. And it's a fun.

It was a whole thing. I'll read it to you guys on Friday. Oh, he's a recruiter. She. She was a recruiter. Okay, like Gislein. All right. Yeah, it's interesting.

Interesting. That's fun. We'll talk about that. Danny, where can everybody find you, you bearer of bad news? I'm sorry. I'm at, uh, on Instagram at Danny Desolation. Come say hello. She is there, and you should go there and say,

Oh, Danny with two ends. But she's also on our Patreon. Patreon.com slash the creepoff. And I got to say, the photos on there are a little bit better than Instagram. Yeah. Yeah. So check that out, everyone. It's worth it to see Danny in her cow bikini.

People have been listening to your AMA over and over and over and over again. Oh, is that true? I don't know. I made that up. But I just think it's true. I don't know it was true. It wasn't great. But I have a feeling that's accurate.

I have a feel you to say. Fantastic episode. All right, Danny. We'll see you soon, my dear. You take care. Bye, Danny. Bye. So, Carl, you said you wanted to talk to about my consequence.

I miss her already. Well, I got good news. Danny. I got good news. All right now, boys and girls. We've got another story for you now. We want to introduce to you another friend of the Bible. My hell yeah.

Look who's here, Carl. My hell is here, everybody. I got a theme song on the show. Hi, guys. How goes it? Good to see you. Good to see you. Good to be here. All right.

Now, Mahalia, of course, is our Las Vegas correspondent. She always comes to the live shows at Hackamania. She'll be there again at Hackamania3, hackamania.com. promo code creep. She also has the official title of the keeper of the consequences. Right. So she has a very important job because when we do our live shows, we have to fulfill the consequence immediately. Correct.

Whoever loses the show, which is me, has to fulfill the consequence. immediately. So we got to find out what the consequence is going to be. I already have like three shirts to say I'm gay. Yeah. So there's going to be something else that we could do. I had a fun shirt idea for you, Carl, this year. What's this one? I'm in the Epstein files.

Ask me about my friend Jeffrey Epstein. That should be on the wheel. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. I would wear that shirt anyway. So I have a question for you, but hell yeah. People, we gave the email and I'm going to make sure I pop this back up there for everybody. No, that's not it.

I do have it somewhere for pros. There it is. You can email me hell yeah at creep off consequences, consequence ideas, put it all the way up here. Consequence ideas. Yes, get it right. It's so long. Tell me to get it right.

The longest email address ever, it's a paragraph. I wanted it to be straightforward, you know, no, no having to guess where to send your creep off consequence ideas. Okay. creep off consequence ideas at gmail.com. If you have ideas for what we can do for a consequence after the live show at Hackamania, you got some ones that have come in, you want to tell us about?

Yes, yes, yes, yes. I do have. We have a handful that came from Becky, wearing a diaper for the rest of the day slash weekend. That's fun. Acting like you have Tourette's. Oh, Becky. That's not nice.

That would be fun. Give me a reason to speak. Galling, cunt. Getting tased. Getting tased on stage, yes. That sounds horrific. Oh, no. If you're the one getting tased.

I don't know if you're the tased. I'm thinking about me. I'm thinking about me. I have to think about me in this situation, too. You know, all right. So remember Hacomania 1 and Dr. Steve was there to give a prostate exam to Rocco? Yeah. What would be worse?

Dr. Steve's fingering your asshole or getting tased on stage? you had to choose one Oh, not getting a prostate exam. I'd rather be tased. I'd rather get tased and have Dr. Steve finger me. Yeah, I think so. Interesting. It is the straight answer.

I can already barely look him in the eyes. I know. You wouldn't have to look him at the eyes, though, if he's fingering your butt holes. What about you, Malia? Would you rather get a finger in the butt or tased? I don't have a prostate to get examined. Sure.

But you still fish around what he was doing in there. Yeah. Okay, Carl. So I have a question. Bally is not answering that question. It's what's wrong with you? So my question is this. They have those circles out there on Fremont Street, right outside of the plaza. How do we rent one of those, B'Halia?

Do you know? I don't know if it's an actual rent-in process. I think you just have to have a good show to put on. So we could make that, the prostate, exam stage. You actually get, that's a good idea. Right there on Fremont. Two hour blocks in there.

And there was a guy when we were there last year who had an electric guitar and an amp and was just feeding back. And I couldn't throw that guy more horrific stares. Like, what are you doing? And he just stared to be like, yeah. My guitar's feeding back. It's like, you motherfucker. So.

Slightly more entertaining than the creepop, but still very annoying. How dare you? How dare you? So my mom's got my boat. Maybe I'm thinking we have to get one of those for two hours and stand in it with your, I'm in having Epstein. I'm in the Epstein Files t-shirt. I like the suggestion there. Finger in Rocco as he's getting tased. Oh. That's the winner.

I'll text Rock. I'll see him's cool with that. All right. On Fremont in the circle. Nice. More everyone to see. Nice. What else you got, Mahalia?

Would that shock you if you had your finger in a butt and that person was getting tased? I would imagine because you're creating the circuit, right? Chat GPT on the answer to that? We're not to find out. That's a grok question if I've ever heard one. Correct. Yeah, I figure you're completing the circuit. It would have to, right?

I think so. I don't know. Yeah. All right. Energy's got to go somewhere. Now, any more suggestions, Mahalia? Becky also suggested doing the Fremont zip line in a kilt. Offer to chel-wear.

That's funny. You should do it backwards too. She go down feet first and a kilt. Oh, you all want to show, do you? That's funny. Okay. Great Fox Mondo suggests, I don't know if we can do this for the live show, but getting a Prince Albert penis piercing.

Oh, that's a hard pass. That's a hard pass. I have a friend who did that. Not even for the regular wheel? That's a fucking, that's a wild thing to do, man. I like there's one thing I don't want to do with my penis that's put a hole in it it's already enough holes in my penis yeah I'm passing on that one too absolutely not um Dennis in Michigan not Flint he wanted to specify um he had two ideas one specifically for the regular

wheel um doing a vegan diet for a full week I don't know how we would monitor that um but for the wheel um excuse me for hackomania he suggested um playing blackjackjack for an hour, doubling down on every 12, splitting on all 10s. There's two fives. I'll split those, please. I can't do that. That would be terrible. Because we would have a real problem there.

Oh, my God. People at the table would want to murder me. It'd be fun to watch that. And then we also had from Matt, I believe, wearing Stetjo's date outfit for the duration of Hacomania. White shirt, velvet coat, green, skinny jeans. I'm not wearing any more outfits. I'm done with the outfits.

There's a lot of dress up, wear this, get up, and perform this. Remember what I was dressed as last year at Hacomania because of the stupid show? You were dressed up, you got to finally show off your heritage. My leader hosen. Yeah. Yeah. It looks great. It looks great.

It's great. It's great. Great. We got to keep the themes dressing up. Fair enough, Mahalia. You're right. All right. Well, keep the consequences going to creep off consequence ideas at gmail.com. And Mahalia, where could everybody find you? You can find me on Instagram at Mahalia, 5Ls. Hope to see you there.

And at Hackamania, too, using code creep. If you haven't already got your tickets, which you should have. See, that's a salesperson. That's what I love about her. We'll see you soon. Take it easy, Malaya. We are blessed. Us two creeps have all these lovely ladies who come on the show and help us out.

It's really amazing. Girls like bad boys, Carl. Is that one of those? Because we're just creeps. Yeah. You know what? Today is President's Day, which is really exciting. But it's also Super Chat Monday, of course.

We're only on the creep-off channel today. And we appreciate the people who are here supporting. It's like Labrid Missigr-Gifting 10, Creep-off membership. That's awesome. Thank you for doing that. That is how that's done. Thank you, my friend, for all of your support. Yes.

And it was cool seeing Labron support in Cardiff earlier today. Cardiff was live for a while. Don't screw that guy. But Labran Mystic, gifting those memberships, I want to let everyone know. If you just got a membership, then you can watch the bonus show that we did on Friday, which was Hot for Teacher Part 2. That's where we found all the best teachers doing it with their students. Well, we found some of them.

I don't want to spoil it for anyone. Well, I'll tell you who's in the lead right now. Oh, yeah, we have a poll going on for that. Yeah, we do have a poll going on. Who's the hottest hot for teacher? Oh, yeah. Right now, she's winning. Aaron McCullough.

And we're going to close this poll out on Friday. This one is for the members only. Look at those eyes. Bro. Alex found some other picks of her that she posted on Instagram. Really? Yeah, we'll show those on Friday. Okay.

I'm excited about that. She doesn't win. I don't know what's wrong with us. The only other person who could pass. Possibly come in second place is this one right here. There was some monsters. There were some monsters. Monsters are real people.

Watch your kids. There always are monsters on this show. Watch your kids. All right, Carl. Labrostic gave us two bucks. He said, your bro is still going to have his line at the end. I don't know what that's meant. thank you and another 10 from laverin the man it's okay carl i got a handful of stuff i promise for the creep off too

i just left to call it i can't remember what other than angry at a guy complaining about truckers oh also the arrest yes labr mystic you and me both buddy agreed um congrats to viny for getting rid of that woman beating wide receiver your team will suck but you will still be better than the jets yeah i saw that the dolphins clear like 60 million in cap space today yeah Bro. Cool. They're going to be in salary cap hell for about four years because of dead cap money, which would be nice.

They just cleared it up $60 million. There's so much dead cap space because of these guys. The bills have that too. It sucks. They try to make a run for it. Didn't happen. And they still have to a. Scroll down, man.

We've got one more. We have a new member. Gonsbo. Thank you for becoming a new member on YouTube. Again, we do bonus episodes every single Friday. I don't know what that. Where did that come from? I don't know.

Let's see that dick. I didn't say that I mean, are you talking right now? No. Don't be an asshole. Thanks for becoming a YouTube member and you were going to get some great bonus content coming up, my friend.

Thanks for supporting the show. You could also, again, find us on Patreon as well. Carl, you ready to do a competition? Let's do it. Ring that bell. I want to, I will go first and I want to bring the creepiest person in Washington, D.C. is a guy that you will certainly remember.

anyone who was alive in 2002, this was a huge national story that went on for weeks. And my clip number one, let's bring us all back to October of 2002, was his first being reported. The five deadly shootings happened in a matter of hours and in the same general area. Montgomery County Police have set up a command center at the scene of the third murder in Aspen Hill. Our team coverage continues from there with Fox Fies, Bob Barnard. Bob. Well, Tracy, Montgomery County Police Chief Charles, Charles Moose says the killer is a very skilled shooter who started his rampage around 520 last night shooting out the store window of a business just about a half mile from here. It's the only one of the six shootings that didn't end in bloodshed and death.

What the fuck was that? That's the second time your voice just started playing. You have something running in the background on this show. Just might. Do you remember the DC sniper? I remember. I do. I actually have him his mugshot right here.

No, no, no, that's the I-80, I-81 straggler. Oh, very different guy. My mistake. Sorry, everybody. John Allen Muhammad was 41 at the time when he went on the shooting spree in D.C. And his buddy, his partner in crime, 17-year-old, Lee Boyd Melvo. And I think the thing that I didn't even realize about these two. Now, you remember this, right?

It was like, for three weeks. They were just like, you didn't know what a sloop was just going to take you out. You could be pumping gas, walking into the Super Bowl. market. Exactly. Just totally random events. You're out in plain sight. There was a time when there was a trooper, like pulling someone over and a guy just got shot right next to the trooper. It's like, Jesus Christ, this guy is, give a chip. Did you know that before that rampage started in October 2002, they went on quite the run, February 16th through September 23rd? So 21, 21 year old Kenya Nicole Cook was at her aunt's house in Tacoma, Washington.

She stepped outside and she got popped. 60-year-old Jerry Taylor was at a golf course in Tucson. 51-year-old John Gato was changing a tire in Hammond, Louisiana. A tire, by the way, that they popped. They popped his tire than they shot out when he got out to change it. That's so mean. Not nice. So mean.

55-year-old Paul LaRuffa was closing up his pizza shop in Clinton, Maryland when he got popped. 22-year-old Benny O'Berow was shot outside of Hillandale Beer and Wine in Silver Spring, Massachusetts, and then Price is so low, he'll die. Muhammad Rashid was shot at Three Rose Liquor in Brandywine, Massachusetts, but he survived. He was all right. 41-year-old Million A. Walter Miriam was closing Sammy's packaging store in Atlanta, Georgia, and was popped. Fifty-year-old Claudeen Barker during her run. robbery at a liquor store was killed in Montgomery, Alabama, 45-year-old, Hong M. Bollinger in

Baton Rouge, Louisiana. So that's like seven killings that happened. Yeah, but you think mostly drunks, though. I don't know, just people like getting off of the work. Going into a liquor store, a bunch of drunks. Getting off their shift. They were working there. He's killing barflies. Who cares? It was crazy. And then they get to Washington, D.C. on October 2nd. And that's when they're like, all right, this is where we're going to hunker down and really do some damage. So they just start taking people out at random places. My clip number two kind of sums up their murder spree. The DC sniper murders, I also known as the Bellway sniper murders, unfolded over three harrowing weeks in October 2002 and gripped the Washington metropolitan area in paralyzing fear that left

many terrified to leave their homes. The series of coordination shootings carried out with chilling precision resulted in the deaths of tenor innocent people and severely wounded three others, causing widespread panic and dramatically altering American public sense of security. That's correct. Ten people were murdered. All of them with one shot, by the way. This guy was a marksman. He would pull up and you would

go down. 17 total deaths over this entire killing spree in 2002. And do you know what happened to John Allen Muhammad? No. I don't even know how they caught him. Well, they caught him because they got some tips from people because he was driving around in that crappy blue car

that no one else owns. Right. And then they found where it was parked and they actually got him in the middle of the night while he was sleeping. They went into a building and found him sleeping and got him. But my clip number three, this is what happened to him. Just after 9 p.m., seven years and 12 days

after he was captured and charged with orchestrating a cold-blooded shooting spree, John Muhammad was put to death by the state. Yay. And there was much rejoicing. So that is my creep. The D.C. sniper, John Allen Muhammad, vote at the creepoff.com.

No. Vote at patreon.com slash the creepoff. Okay. You could do that. Or you could just listen to what I have to say. And I'm going to introduce you to this guy by the name of D.R.N. Wint, Carl. Now, Duran Wint originally is from Guyana. His parents moved here when he was a kid and they moved to D.C. he spent a brief stint as a Marine when he was 18 years old out of high school. He's a big guy.

He's like 6'3. I was going to say, it was like a linebacker. He's huge. He's very jacked. And he got a quick medical discharge. He was in for less than a year. He then became a welder at this place, American Ironworks, and he worked for a gentleman by the name of Savasavolos. Until he got fired, Carl.

See, it was all a big misunderstanding. His job let him go after a situation happened at his house. Can you believe it? Yep. Yeah. He got into a little bit of a fight with his dad and his stepmother, which escalated to him standing on the front lawn with the guns screaming, come out here and I'm going to shoot you in the fucking face, dad.

As it does. Until, you know, the neighbors called the police and he got arrested. Okay. All a big misunderstanding. Of course. And he loses his job over it. Can you believe it? That's not fair.

So he goes to, you know, jail for a little bit. They let him out because he's an angry kid or whatever. There was his first real run-in, pretty big one, if you asked me. but they let him out. And he moves in with some family up in Oswego, New York, Carl. I'm familiar. For just about a year. And things didn't go well up there for him either.

You see, this guy named Michael Babcock came over for a family function with his cousin. And apparently our boy, Duran, didn't really like the way Michael acted around the family. So he got up in the middle of the thing and stabbed him in the shoulder with a knife. Just the shoulder, just a warning. Sure. Just to let you know who's boss. Apparently the warning didn't work because this guy called the police and he got arrested again. And when he got out on bail, he was very upset about it.

So what he did is he waited by Michael Babcock's house for Michael to be walking home with his girlfriend across this little bridge. And he waited on the other side of the bridge like a troll. And what Michael came around, he jumped up and stabbed him again, this time in the neck with the intent to kill him. Answer me, the stab woundings stab wound three. I don't know what I'm talking about. I do tell jokes. Some better than others. Oh, boy.

What did you do? I know, Judy. So he gets convicted of third degree assault. He ends up spending 89 days total. He gets 10 months for stabbing another guy in a separate incident. Okay. So at this point, we got arrest for assault harassment, violating protection orders. He moves back to Maryland where he gets into a fight with his girlfriend.

He's convicted of second degree assault. That's weird because Oswego, New York and Maryland, both are not Washington. in D.C. It's wild how that works. You just told me about he went to Tucson, to Nevada, to fucking shut up. You shut up. Shut up over there.

Fight you. It was actually a sexual assault, but they did drop the essay charge. But they let him back out. And in 2010, in Washington, D.C., he had to a fight with another girlfriend when he threatened to kill her and her infant daughter with a knife. he then broke into her apartment, stole her TV, fucked up her car, pled guilty to malicious destruction of property.

That same year he was working at another welding company, and they had to let him go. And after they let him go, he went back there the next day and stood in front of the door of the place, holding a two, oh, hold on, I want to make sure I get this right, two-foot machete and a BB gun, and he just stood outside of the place eyeball and everybody going in. All right.

First off, a two-foot machete is not a big machine. machete. It's kind of a small machete. Any machete and this guy's hands is a problem. Great. I give you that. That can be menacing. But a two-foot machete and then a BB gun? I mean, I'm going to take my chances in that fight. Okay, Carl. I got a puncher's chance at that one. No, you don't. You're going to get fucking chopped up, you dumbass.

Shut up. Shut up. You get fucked up, man. So, from the first arrest there in 2005 through 2015, 30 arrests, Carl. Yeah. Stabbings, death threats, family violence, property destruction. He spent some time in lockup thinking about where it all went wrong. Okay.

Self-reflection is important when you're locked up. Yeah, maybe I'm the problem. All these arrests. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. No, no, no. Not here. He's not the problem, Carl. Okay.

The problem is Savasavolos, the guy who fired him from his job at American Ironworks. you see, he had a good thing going there, and it all got ruined and everything's been downhill since then. Okay. So he's out of lockup, and on May 13th, 2015, he broke into the $4.5 million Savapolos home in Woodley Park, D.C. While Amy Savapolos, the mother, was out. He restrained the housekeeper Verlicia Ferragosa and the 10-year-old son Philip Savapolos, who was home, sicken in bed. When Amy returned, he captured her too.

He held all three of them hostage until dad came home. Did you ever say I'm the captain now? He looks like a guy who would all right. Multiple times. Yep. All right. Here's the family. Here's the family. There's the Savaposos. There's little Philip. And there's the maid. So

they're all being how he gets dad gets home and he is immediately accosted and hogtied. Oh, wow. Now, everybody's tied up with duct tape and zip ties. He then finds that little Philip had a birthday coming up

and he found Philip's birthday gift early. You see, grandpa had sent him his own Louisville slugger with a little bow on it. Oh, nice. And that's when Duran over there grabs Philip and drags him out in front of his dad and proceeds to beat him mercilessly with the baseball bat. Well, that's not great.

In front of his father. That's bad. And he wants to know where all the money in the house is. And obviously, at that point he tells him. And he says, hey, the money's upstairs and the safe, I'll give you the combination. He gets the money out of there. And there wasn't that much. No, what were talking?

There's like 20 grand. Yeah, rich people don't keep cash around. It's not a good piece of your money. So he's got 20 grand. He's not happy. So he's still got the bat. And now the kids beat to fuck. And he's like, you know what it'd be really fun to do right now?

He's like, how about a wiffle ball bat challenge? Oh, like Opie used to do. Yes, like Opie used to do. I get the Sharpie out. Except it was a Louisville slug. and that would be the maid, the mother, and then he found out that there was a samurai sword collection in the house. Cool.

So he starts playing with those. He's actually sliced up the kid a bunch. Okay. With the swords. The kid bled a lot from what they could tell. That's too bad. But he also got hungry, so he ordered dominoes. He must have been really hungry then.

Yeah, he ordered some dominoes. I'm so hungry I could eat dominoes. Did you ever see the movie Casino? I did. Remember that scene when Sharon Stone and De Niro in the restaurant after she left him with James Woods And he wants to know how much money the guy took and what he spent it on? Yes. And he's like, and what this guy thinks is a nice watch?

What is it? Five grand. What he thinks is a nice watch. That's this guy thinks is good pizza. Yeah. I got 20 grand. I can spring for dominoes today. Oh, I have three or four topics.

I don't give a fuck. Usually I get 7-Eleven. That's so sorry. John does. Yeah, well, like I said, a poor loser. So the family's bleeding out, beaten. The dad then agrees to call his assistant and he calls his assistant and tells him to get all the money out of the safe at the company and take it to his house and put it in the trunk of his Porsche. And he goes, I have to make this bank deposit. It's very important. Don't tell anybody. Don't say anything. And the assistant didn't say a fucking word to anybody.

Grab the cash, brought it, put it in the Porsche. Another $40,000. Sorry to find good help. Yeah. Doesn't call the cops. Doesn't do anything. I don't want to give this criminal who's murdering my kid money, but, you know, I guess we have to. So maybe you could not tell anyone and.

No, he didn't tell what was happening. He just said, I want you to get the money. Oh, boy. Very suspiciously, Carl. Yeah. So at that point, once the money gets delivered, he's like, well, I guess I don't have a choice. it's time to continue beating the shit out of the family. He then put plastic bags over all their heads.

Oh, that's not good for breathing. And then poured gasoline over all of them and set the house on fire. Here's some fun pictures of the inside of the house. Oh, after the fire. Yeah, after the fire. That's not a nice looking house. They have a housekeeper. That's how it looks.

All right. But after the fire, yeah, sure. Yeah, they had to tear most of it down. Okay. But- tear most of it down. Let's leave this room. Yeah, you're right.

Well, just for that picture. No, no, I know, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So by the time the cops get there and the fire trucks get there, the parents and the son are dead. The maid was still barely alive. And she gave a rundown to the cops what happened. And then he put the bat in me? Yeah, it was still sticking out of her asshole.

Poor fucking lady. I thought it was like a serial killer. That was the maid. And they had no idea who this guy was. She had no idea how to identify him. And now she's dead. everybody's dead. He also took all of the security camera hard drives. He did his good job of getting away with this, except for one little thing, Carl. What's that? Pizza. You see, the kitchen didn't

completely burn down. And he left himself some pizza that he was eating on the counter. With his name on the receipt? With DNA evidence. Oh, yeah. And since he's already a violent criminal, they were able to go ahead and track him down from that. And I got to play you this real fast. Well, that's retarded. Maybe I don't. Either way, it took about 40 cops to track him down between three states before they eventually arrested him. Nice.

And when they did, he was obviously not sorry about any of it. He was convicted on all 20 counts, first degree premeditated murder while armed felony, murder, kidnapping, extortion, arson, burglary, and theft. but he had a good excuse. He had a great defense, Carl. What's that? In court. You see, my brother, who kind of looks like me did this, you see, and he called me

over to a house, and he said, hey, man, I'm going to come over here and do a bunch of work on this house. So I went over there to do some construction. And when I came in, and my brother was like, hey, have a slice of pizza. So I had a slice of pizza. And then I found out he was trying to rob the place. And I was like, oh, no, not me. Oh, I've already done my crimes.

And I am not going to get. at myself at any more trouble. And I just left right there, Your Honor. Fun fact, the brothers were at their job. The brother was at his job the whole time. He's got, you know, an airtight alibi. That was the R. Kelly defense, I think, when he was peeing on that minor. Four consecutive life terms without parole, Carl, from stabbing people in the neck over grudges, threatening babies, holding families hostage, torturing a sick child for hours, and burning four people alive all for $60,000. Darren Winsed is the absolute sickest creep.

And again, who would you rather sit next to on a bus? My creep got the death penalty, I'm just saying. So the court's agree that I brought the bigger creep today. And you can too, Patreon.com slash the creep off. In fact, you know, let me pop this up here on the screen for everybody. You can. Okay. I have time, man.

I will. We got nothing to do. Don't you worry about me. There it is. You follow that QR code right there. It'll take you right to go vote. The poll is up. Beautiful.

So if you're watching this on your phone, somehow take a photo of your phone and get the... Or if you're watching on a computer screen... Right. You could take advantage of this fantastic feature that Streamard has offered us. Then it would make sense. All right. Go f-f-off.

Carl... Yes, buddy. I think it's time for a cop cam. Let's go. I can't wait to see Carl's Cockcam. Fight with the cops for no. I'm going to please show me because cock can lose all your rights ruin your life. I'm excited today.

Hockey sent this to me. And Vinny, we are finalizing a trilogy right now. What? Do you remember the woman who called the cops on her boyfriend and they were to scare him? And then the cop showed up. Notre Dame fight guy? Kayla, yeah. The cops showed up and the boyboard came running out.

They tased them. Yeah, we watched that at the live show. Yes. And then she got, do you remember that we saw her again in a traffic accident and a fender bender? Yes. She was losing her mind and running around through the streets. She could be consoled.

She was so upset. Kayla's back? Kayla and Brandon are back, baby. Clip number one. Oh, shit. This woman sucks. What a day this is, everybody. Let's go.

A disturbance unfolded at Monroe truck equipment in Marshfield. After Brandon and his wife Kayla became involved in a heated confrontation following Brandon's termination. Hours later, deputies located the couple at their residence where the situation took another turn. Okay. I recognize that hallway. It's the same place. Holy shit. Awesome.

So the cops know these people do. It's so funny. So he gets fired from work. What do you do? Uh, he was a shit employee. Oh, I thought he was like filming people in the bathrooms. No, he got fired from work. And so he left.

back and he was throwing his tools at people and hitting my customers cars and stuff. And then he came back again with her and she's screaming at everyone. It's just, it's what you'd expect from these too. It's amazing. Oh, man. Clip number two, we're off to a bad start here where the cops show up. Hey, Gaila. Can we talk to him?

I'm not talking. Okay. We're coming to talk, okay? Do you guys come out? No. I don't want you in my house. See here, please. I don't know why I'm here.

What are you? Brandon. Why are you on my favorite? Let's talk, man. What? No, I'm not saying anything. You want to sit here? For what? I can talk to you. Why are you at my house? Let me explain to you. I don't need to sit. This is my house. Why are you in my house right now?

I did not tell you guys. If we're going to be this way, you're under arrest right now. Brandon, just talk about. No, please. Turn around. No, just please. Just please, please. We always got along back. No, please. Just please. Just please. I don't even know what you're here. Oh, Kayla. I missed her. The second she started going, please, please, please. I felt it.

We're back, right back in it. Yep. Warm bathtub right now, baby. Slipping into the water. So the husband or boyfriend is getting arrested, and she pleads her case and tries to convince the police officers otherwise in my clip three. He was a good employee. Please don't arrest.

We got to work through this, Kayla, okay? Okay. Okay, so, Kayla, so obviously. some things happen today officer has more information about it but you obviously know something's up that's why you're kind of being stressed towards this right? I mean so take some breaths and let's work here

he'll explain it to you okay okay explain it here shut my door he said it was hours and hours ago and I left he told me to leave before I called the cops and I left right yeah but hours ago that happened over there I was just yelling and screaming but I wasn't like I left he told me to leave

leave and I left. Right. Am I under arrest? Yeah. Can you tell him, please? Brandon, they're arresting me. No. Okay, but I have to figure what you do with the baby.

Are you serious? That's my favorite. How many times do we watch this where they're like, am I being detained? Am I under arrest? And they're like, listen, you're not under arrest. You know, we're just going to talk through this. I know, I'm just going to talk through this. I don't.

Stand up. We got put some cups on you. I love this. It's amazing. I'm going to compliment Kayla. This is the. least sloppy this sloppy mess has ever left. That's true.

She actually looks like she might be trying to get something together. I love that she's, they're like, well, there's the incident at your husband's job. You guys were just there screaming everyone. She's that's hours ago. You can't arrest me for that now. Statute of limitations assholes. I'm a home base. I'm home

now. You can't arrest me. What are you talking about? It's like a pizza. If you don't get here within 30 minutes, I'm home free. Exactly. Clip number four. So apparently I love how they do just where to go, too. Like the cops's like, oh, it was Brendan and Kayla? All right, we'll go over to their place.

They're like, hi, Kayla. They're coming in. So apparently, she's on probation, and so is he. So that's why it's not great to act up like they were. Right. That's why they're both under arrest, just because they're on probation. Check it out. There's no warnings.

Check it out. Disheart. It's fine. But who's arresting me, my probation officer? Yes. You're on a probation holder right now. Oh, my God. Who's arresting me, my probation officer?

Yeah. you called us. Your probation officer is like, uh, why are you driving to your husband's employer and screaming and everyone throwing tools at them? Because please, please, please, please just listen because they were doing something I didn't like. Yep. Oh, she is nuts.

All right, let's find out what they did in my clip number five. After being sent home from work, Brandon returned to Monroe truck equipment and began yelling profanities, making threatening statements and throwing tools, damaging a customer's vehicle. He later came back a second time with Kayla, who drove aggressively through the parking lot while shouting threats at employees.

The escalating behavior prompted staff to contact law enforcement before officers later located the couple at their residence. All she did was peel out. Content coming up, my friend. Thanks for supporting the show. You could also, again, find us on Patreon as well. Carl, you're ready to do a competition.

Hey, can I get you to come to the apartment? Where the fuck is that coming from? Where is that coming from? coming from, Vinny. There's nothing else open pro. Vote for Carl. Vitty's playing his own audio somewhere. Ring that bell. What is going on? I want, so I will go first and I want... Where is this? Is this from your computer? No. Wait, is it? I don't know. That would suck. Because it's not on behind. Is that on yours? I don't think I'm on the internet. Turn it off just in case.

Here, I'll turn off the internet too. No, don't. No, you need the internet. I don't. You need the internet. I don't. Is that coming from my computer? There's no way. It's not coming from mine. I'm literally, I'm closing everything I have right now just to make sure. We might be the most professional show on the internet.

Grinch of the week. Grinch of the week. This is going great. Let's go back to these assholes. Behavior prompted staff to contact law enforcement before officers later located the couple at their residence. All she did was feel out. Hold on. Hey, Shelley, it's Christopher with Marshfield Pedy.

Hey, can I get you to come to the apartment? Brandon becomes a crybaby. He becomes a fucking mess during this. It gets more and more embarrassing. I can't imagine living my life with a woman like that who, number one, is coming to the job to yell at everybody fucking for me. Like that shit, that's demoralizing to begin with. When you get fired, just take it like a man.

What are you doing? You're going back multiple times to yell at people. You get fired. Here's what you're doing and you get fired. Thank you for the opportunity. Sorry, it didn't work out. Exactly. And you shake their hand.

You look him in the eye. Then you, you know, you call whoever you have to call, whether it's the health department, calling their wives and make up stories about them. No reason to burn bridges, people. Do you see what Kevin Brennan is doing now in his current life? I used to open for Louis C.K. on the road. And now he's talking to. Dave, Sarah, and Stevie Lou on a daily basis.

He's got Clearwater Chad, too. Clearwater Chad. Stop burning bridges, everyone. Just be cool. My clip number six, Brad is a real cry baby here. Okay. Yeah, I need somebody here for the baby. These people are too emotional.

You don't say. I think that's the problem with these two idiots. They're so fucking emotional. I'm the... Yeah, maybe you should have thought that when you were throwing hammers at people. When you were chucking monkey wrenches at people. Yeah, right. Yeah.

Maybe that you should have a kid at home. I should probably be cool. When you were standing there shooting a nail gun of people like Rambo. So then he calls his parole officer. He's on parole too? Oh, yeah. Jesus. Stop tensing up.

Stop. What are you doing? anything. All right, probation officer. I misspoke. But he said he calls this probation officer. What a shitty job that is.

I have a friend who's a probation officer. Really? He hates his life and hates his job. I believe that. It's a miserable thing. Could you imagine you're getting phone calls from guys who are just like, I'm getting arrested like, yeah, yeah, I'm the one who told him, idiot. I'm your probation officer.

Oh, good. They got you? Good. Yeah, right. Good. I told him where you live. I want to remix. I want to remix him going to pop a don't preach.

You're not taking you my baby Oh, it's so pathetic I'm such a loser On this I have a Tom Brady moment Coming up in my clip number eight Oh, does he open mouth kiss this baby Oh no

Can I kiss my son please I know I'm you never gonna see him again You got to kiss him It'll be okay It'll be okay We're gonna take care of them As everyone knows I'm not a parent

I don't know that my priority right here would be kissing my son. He's crying. I'm never going to see my baby again. That could be true. He's a problem. He's hoping. Let's see where he's going. My clip number nine. Okay.

You're going to Wood County Jail. Because you're in Woodcombe. Okay. Why last time they let her go and then they let me go after? You guys didn't have probation hold at the time. Can I please kiss my son, guys? We've already worked this. We're not doing that.

We're going to head up. I love that he goes, you know, last time you guys just let us off, it's like, yeah, yeah, that's the problem. There's too many times. You're on probation now. That's what's happening here. Yeah. There's no such thing as frequent flyer perks with us. Right.

Yeah, you don't get a discount because we see you every week. Yeah. Idiot. So then he's getting taken to the squad car. Uh-huh. And he explains that the real problem is Kayla, my clip number 10. Right. Kela.

She drives me crazy. She's the one that's violent. She's the one that does all this stuff to me. And then she makes it worse. Brandon, I have no doubt about that. I didn't do anything. That's hilarious. The cops are like, oh, we know Kayla's the problem.

Trust me. We're very aware of that situation. So let's see what Kayla's been doing all this time. While she's getting arrested, you know, he was being a witty bitch. Maybe she has more dignity than that and can be cool about it. Hmm. Please let me say goodbye to my baby Please let me say goodbye to him, please

When I'm actually till 1095 with Camel Please let me say goodbye to Brandon Please That wighty voice They don't want to say goodbye to you They're actually really happy The further your voice travels away from them The happier they both are

He's out there right now in the back of a cop car Going that bitch is ruining my life Well bawling If you come over there Do you think you're going to make them feel better? No, and the cops even say that at one point, they're like, because of the state of your emotions, it's not really good for you to be around your kid right now. You're not going to help anything.

This kid's just going to be upset. So come with us. That kid's in there just throwing Fisher Price toys at the cops. It's ranting and raven. There's a whole scene in here that I cut out where it's like the cops are waiting for whatever service is going to come and take the kid. And they have like the cats there too. And the cats are playing with the cat. talking to the sun.

It's very sweet. That's nice. I mean, this can't be a great apartment to grow up in. It's got to be awful to be with these two people. Just listening to them yell and come up with crazy schemes, which is what I imagine happens. They get each other riled the fuck up. I imagine she threatens to murder him multiple times a day.

Yeah. Be my guess. My clip number 12, she's blindsided about it. And dad is so heavy with the tongue. I did what he did. Okay, he was yelling and swearing and swearing and sob. too just like you didn't tell me that he didn't tell me that so who's

what's going to happen you're both getting arrested for and who's taking the baby we're gonna get social services involved okay so what does that mean am i never going to see him again oh got in the car force look why aren't you talking to me so both of these people's reaction is like I'll never see my kid again they both said the same thing like oh they're gonna find out that we're horrible parents and I'll never see my kid. Dude, it's because the judges probably

told them both. If you two keep this shit up, you're never going to see your kid again. You're probably right. They're both freaking out and we find out the charges of my clip 13. Being trash. Both Kaylee and Brandon were transported to the Wood County Jail for booking charges.

Kayla was charged with disorderly conduct and entered a no contest plea resulting in a guilty finding. She received two years of probation with sentence withheld along with court costs. whereas Brandon was also charged with disorderly conduct and entered a no-contest plea, resulting in a guilty finding and one year of probation with sentence withheld, along with court costs, counseling requirements,

and a no-contact order with Monroe truck equipment and its employees. Smart. Could you not go to your previous employer and throw wrenches at them? That'd be great. But what if I need a truck? It'd be really great if you did that. Yes, it is Super Chat Monday that we're celebrating. It certainly is Carl.

That's how we're watching Carl's cop cam because we're celebrating. Richard Lucas, almost plus sniper training is a recipe for a disaster. Agreed. Agreed. Richard Lucas, 9272. Is this the creepiest Oswego resident?

No. Thank you, Richard Lucas. No, that shit went down in D.C. when he murdered that family and did the wiffle ball bet challenge on the help. I believe Rosie said it best. Thank you. Daniel Adams, 30. 78 71, thanks for the two bucks.

Brandon Jr. might make creep off in 2040. Oh, that kid is going to be fucked off. And no one's going to blame him, too. You're like, oh, this is my mom. We're like, oh, okay. Well, then please behave like that. That's the kid who's going to be sitting there in class. Just a nervous wrecked Johnny Rocking.

And I feel bad. Yep. Horrible fucking life. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's going to be fun. But Carl, you know what is fun? Uh, voicemails? Certainly is.

The creep off voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse. Sony just had their stay-to-play press conference where they were showing off all the games that would be released later this year. Fans were wowed by the new fallout for its destructive and bleak atmosphere. That was before they realized they were just watching the local Syracuse news. See you in Syracuse. Saw it coming, but I still enjoyed it. It was a little heavy-handed.

A little heavy-handed, but I still enjoyed it. He's got a new Syracuse joke every week. I mean, it's impressive. Better than I could do. We don't pay him for that, do we? Oh, fuck, no. When he's doing stuff like that. Thank God.

I've never asked you that before. That's how good that one was, McBride. I'm like, are we paying for this? Love you, Brett. Oh, boys, it's the podcast for profit. Holy Spirit and some white claws you're speaking through me. Sorry. So I used to live with a gay couple, and they weren't, you know, nice guys,

but I ended up moving out after an incident because, well, the one guy was jerking off into a thermos one day. When I walked into the kitchen, I was like, what the fuck are you doing? He goes, I'm packing my husband's lunch. Anywholes, two quick ideas for Danny's sign-off. It should either be stay horny, my friends, or here's. to getting on her, keeping on her, and if you can't come in or come on her. So, anyways, thank you fucking bye. You're writing these down?

How about this one for a side off? Okay. Look, he fucking nutted on. Huh, ha! Perfect. All right. No one needs a fucking sideoff. Shut up.

We were joking last week. We said we needed to get Danny a side off. I know. No more than side off. You are, Rini. You moron, it's me. You should beard the pirate. You call yourself a wrestling fan.

Well, then, boy, oh, you would know when someone's doing the knife and chop in the corner, you don't count down, you count up from one. One, two, three, and so on. You are, you moron. Yarn, I must shut up, boy, oh. I hate that fucking pirate. That's great. That pirate's an asshole. How does he even have a phone?

I like that pirate. Hey, what's up? It's the arborist. Two things. One, it sounds like Carl's creep is innocent because they haven't been proven guilty, so I guess not a creep. And then two, that whole household at first started off like the weekend at the ricatis. Don't you think? Sand's child abuse. I don't know. Bye. Maybe. Fair enough. Here we go. Hey, it's hockey. A couple quick things. I've been watching some of the members-only stuff.

I was watching the Danny, ask me anything. And ironically, my best friend did the same fucking thing in a strip club once, where it was his birthday. I took him. There was a super hot chick, and I was down to, like, the last of the money I brought with me. I was like, man, I want to dance from her. But so did he. So I let him go, right?

Comes back, motherfucker just sat there talking to her the whole time. Second. A couple weeks ago, you were talking about, the woman that was naked and bloody going into the Casey's in Mason City, Iowa. Yeah, my aunt, I'm actually from Mason City, Iowa. My aunt is the one that called the cops. She ran in the bathroom and hit and called the cops instead of videotaping it. And now I don't talk to her anymore.

Have a good day, guys. Thanks. Tell her, we said she's a stupid moron. Yep, I'm out of her. Agreed. You know what? That brought back a memory for me. What's that?

I have a cousin who, he's very out of it and proud. now, but, you know, 20 years ago, he wasn't as much. And we were all at a strip club for another cousin's bachelor party. And I remember he got a private lap dance. I said to him, how would that go? And he told me that she was into photography. And I said, how the fuck do you know that? Deep conversation with her.

Yeah, he was like, for some reason, he just brought up, yeah, she was nice. She's into photography. He was like, what the fuck? That's how you know I'm not gay. I know people say that I'm gay. I don't know what any strippers are into. Right. I never once know anything about a stripper.

All right, last one. Happy 300, boys. Carl, I think it took you 300 episodes to be that gleeful talking about a creep. You're not doing anything for that smile talking that everybody's accusing you up. But I still voted for you because maybe he was crying like a little bit. See you. Good call. Bogs are better than people.

Good call. Brian, thanks for voting for me. All right. You got any voicemails? I don't. All right. Well, then you know what that means, Carl? Time for us.

I'm brain. I think it just is. Carl, we're going to stout in Wisconsin. On February 5th, they had to use a drone to catch what they labeled as a serial defecator in the city park. Can I just say that I am also a serial defecator? Like, I defecated this morning. Right, but. Every day.

A delicator. Oh, it just said serial defecator. defecator. I was just like, well, that's me. Yeah, well, everyone is technical. You're right. The department announced the citation in a Thursday Facebook post. Police launched an investigation into the matter after multiple reports of people finding human feces and used toilet paper in the park. They have to arrest like a million people in San Francisco. Shitting in public happens all the time in some of these cities in California. And that's how you can tell this is Wisconsin in a suburb. Right. They're like, there's human poop out here. They're like,

Yeah, I try not to step in it. Yeah. San Francisco is just like, yeah, no shit. In San Francisco, you'd be thrilled to see the toilet paper. Yeah, right. Like, oh, this guy is moving on up. Now, authorities didn't specify where the incidents took place. But in the post, they described the area as a city park.

Now, they ended up using a drone and trail cameras and established a pattern of a person defecating the park during early morning hours that on February 5th, one of the department's drone operators caught the person a 46. year old woman. Really? Was out there dump it in the park, Carl. Oh, she must not have a toilet, though. She's probably homeless or something.

No, no. After some concern arose on social media that the woman might be unhoused, police clarified that she's not. Isn't that funny that like, all right, you're allowed to shoot in the park if you don't have a toilet. But if you do have a toilet, that's a problem. I have a little more sympathy for you, yes. Yeah.

Now, a lot of the times we read these stories and I send them to you, Carl, and they all do this stupid thing where just to take up space or to add more words of the story, they'll post like another incident that was similar that happened. Right. It's in all of them all the time. It's annoying. But this particular one, really great because they did it again. And apparently they had this problem before.

And they made a similar arrest several years ago. Investigators cited this gentleman. He looks like Drew Lane's cousin. Okay. Jeffrey S. Churchwell, a retiring English teacher for defecating in a public park for two years. One. Churchill had been defecated outside of and on a building at Natureland Park in the town of Whitewater, Wisconsin, sometimes several times per day from 2017 to 2019. Everyone needs a hobby, man.

That's the thing about retirement. You know, you don't have a purpose in life anymore. This guy's like, no, I do. I shit on a building in the park. This guy was ordered to pay $365.5.5.5.5.5% restitution to the public works department. You know what's so weird about this? I only shit in my house. Yeah. I don't shit anywhere else. I don't shit at friend's houses.

Nothing weird about what you just said. I don't shit in public. I don't go to public restrooms. The fact that these people could just drop a squat in an outdoors out in public is crazy. I could never do that. Dude, this is an English teacher, a guy who's been teaching. He's a teacher at the school who's just shitting in the park for two years. Setting jobs a substitute. I don't hold teachers in high regard. So whatever.

Mahalia asked, check you did. She's been thinking about it. And I would definitely choose the finger in the booty. Thank you. I don't know why that was such a crazy question. Everyone looked at me like I was being a creep or something. Thank you, my hellia.

Yeah. Dr. Steve's figure. Bye. Everyone loves actor Steve. How many times has he fingered you? With Libre without him. In general.

Seven. Okay. Let's talk about this fellow, Carl. What is this guy's deal? This is Dr. Martin Cooper. Oh. He's 57 years old. He worked at the chief executive at Moorefield's Eye Hospital.

Now, he got himself a little bit of trouble because apparently he was walking around the park, Battersea Park, in West London. And the alleged incident happened just a few months before he left his role at the hospital. Prosecutors say the defendant approached a woman who was sunbathing. whipped out his dick and then a police officer who was in the area saw him do this so she tried to apprehend him

that's what he tried to grab her vagina oh boy so I feel like this all could have been avoided if this guy had just been jacking it jacking it jacking it jacking it jack spikin it smack isn't it amazing how many

incidents like this can be avoided if you just jerk off and get over it kind yourself down sir At least he didn't take a shit in the park. So he is going to be sentenced pretty soon. Cool. Yeah, I just find this story fucking wild. He's like the chief doctor at the hospital.

He's out just fucking ripping it out. What is that photo of him, though? What's going on there? He's walking out of court, and he's trying to cover his face of the can of Sprite, it looks like. He's just sticking out of his, he got his tongue in there or something? Must be. Weird. It must be cold out, and it's stuck.

Now, Carl, I'll introduce you to this fella. and I'm going to guess he's a Mormon, and here's why. We're going to Heber... He's a Mormon? Oh, a Mormon. A member of the Church of Latter-day Saints, I'm guessing, because he's from Hebrew City, Utah, and his name is David Nephi Johnson, and Nephi is one of the names of the tribes that they believe in in that fantastic fun religion.

What a great fun fact that was. Yeah, he's 55, 54 years old, and he's facing an aggravated child abuse charge after investigators say he waterboarded his 16-year-old daughter. during an argument over whether her bedroom was clean to his expectations. Well, maybe. I mean, she might be in a sleeper cell. So we're going to sit here and judge this guy for waterboarding his daughter when she might have answers that we need. The teen told deputies her father was angry when she returned home from spending time with their friends because her room was not spotless.

She alleged... Hold on. What is this website you found this on? It's called They Will Kill You.com. the Alex found it. Thanks buddy. You're finding some of the weird. Alex, you're finding some of the weirdest shit, man. We get these, you know, usually it's like the Daily Star or New York Post or something or true crime, whatever that Nancy Grace thing is. But then sometimes we get these things, they will kill you.com.

And I'm like, no, this is real probably. I had to go. No, it is. I looked it up. There was, I googled him and a bunch of mugshots came up. Okay. The teen told deputies her father was angry. He grabbed her by the back of her neck, took her into the.

the bathroom and forced her head into the sink filled with cold water more than once. She estimated she could not breathe for up to 30 seconds at a time, and she kept feeling like she was drowning. Teenage girls, it can be so dramatic. I know. My dad's waterboarding me. Wea. Afterwards, she said he ordered her to clean her room.

The teen told investigator she was sick and struggled to breathe following the incident. The teen also alleged her father had done something similar to her younger brother years earlier and claimed he had backhanded her in the stomach during a separate incident. That time he was just like getting fat, huh? Yeah, that's exactly what that is. No one backhand someone in the stomach unless they're calling you off from being pudgy. Yeah, trust me, I know. She further told the investigator she did not feel safe that her father was home.

She said he had, she had trouble sleeping the night because she feared him. Authorities remove the teen from the home and placed her with an adult sibling. So this guy is also the chair of the Wastatatch County Republican Party. so that's fun so they get the 16 year old girl out of the home yeah but the two younger siblings are still living with this guy yep they'll be fine it's just let's just get this girl out they are fine their rooms are clean right they're probably spotless yes so they're fine yes good point yes so uh there you go and our last story i don't have any pictures but this is from france and uh it's pretty fucking wild carl okay a mother allegedly murdered two newborn infants by placing them

a freezer shortly after their births. I believe she saw the baby's user freeze by date. So I was fast approaching. Got it right into that freezer. So this 50-year-old woman admitted to freezing two infants between 2011 and 2018. An investigation has been launched by the prosecutor's office. The horrific incidents allegedly occurred immediately after the infants were born. In case the woman said took place between the birth of her last child and

her return to work. So wait, you're telling me, so I have a baby, right? Yeah. And I'm not ready to be a mom yet. Right. Can I just freeze the baby and thaw it out later when I'm ready? Can't put it on ice. You can't do that? Nope. Maybe she thought that was the case. Well, I'll just saw these babies out later. It'll be great.

Didn't work. The discovery came to late when their bodies were found in what authorities described as a family freezer, prompting a judicial investigation to the alleged murder of the children. The magistrate stated the woman had given birth to the babies at her residence. wrapped them immediately after delivery and placed him in the freezer located in the laundry room. According to 20 minutes,

which is a news show in France, the woman cried a lot after that and said she was constantly saying she was sorry to her children and her family. The suspect admitted hiding her pregnancies from friends and family, wearing loose fitting clothing and fabricating explanations as to her weight gain.

She's pretending that she's just fat. Yeah. That's hilarious. She's like, yeah, that Lizzo body positivity stopped from Am I right guys? It's great. The grim discovery revealed that it was a family member while sorting through a freezer only used by the mother who found one of the infants.

Police often notified discovered the second baby body wrapped in a bag. The woman was arrested at approximately 1 a.m. And reports indicate that she had nine children from three fathers and vacated her home suddenly in December. Her four youngest children father along with another one of her children remained at the residence. So she already bailed and left like the two corpses. with the dad of the other ones. So she's got nine kids.

11. Do you think those kids are like the frozen ones or the lucky ones? Probably. You know what I mean? They're like, God damn. Why couldn't she have frozen me when I was born? I live this life. The husband was taken into custody as well, claiming he was completely unaware of the

pregnancy was taken by surprise. He's not currently facing charges, but he was arrested at the time. An autopsy is scheduled for Friday, and the case has been assigned to the prosecutor's office. So that's a fun one. Don't put your babies in the freezer to keep them fresh. I guess not. Who knew?

Who knew you can do that? I think that was pretty self-explanatory. I had no idea. I had no idea that was the case. All right. Well, let's finish up today's show. Oh, go back to I miss you. Yeah.

I miss old Howard Stern. I went to college in Oswego. It gets much worse. I had friends who went to Oswego and I visited there and had a lot of fun. It's a fun college show. I agree. I went to a bunch of parties up in Oswego. It's what a less.

less than an hour out of town outside of town. Yeah, man. It's a fun college you go visit. King Caprazy, thanks for the two bucks. It's fine since they're not shitting at work. Right. As long as you're shooting in the park, as long as it's not on the company dollar.

Oh shit. The serial crapper was on the Homeowners Association board. I don't know if that's true or not later. People are a problem. Could very well be. Voted up. Vote it up, baby. We'll see you on Friday for a bonus show.

I'm looking forward to that, Carl. I might be back on YouTube, by the. then. You're hoping. Are you going to have a show on Wednesday? That's the plan. All right. How did you like your little Rumble experiment?

I hate it. I hate Rumble. I have a question. What's that, buddy? Did you learn your lesson? Yes. Are you going to be a good boy from Nowod? Yes.

Orle. Winnie Cumm sucks. She really can go scroo, as Obie would say. Have you watched any of your last specials? No. No one has. What are you talking about? Oh, I saw a little bit of one of them.

And I was not impressed. She stinks. We will be covering a lot of Whitney Cummings coming up. I'm not happy about what happened to me. The Whitneyverse, everybody. It's happening. She costs me a lot of money. Yeah.

A lot of people like to fuck with your money, don't they? Yeah. Yeah. It seems to be a funny thing for people. And it's because, you know, generally you're unflappable. Is that what it is? I think so. I think it's because you could smile through all of it.

Carl walks right through a hail store with a big smile on his face, not thinking twice, laughing at the wind and the rain and the sleet. I put a target on my back with that kind of attitude. Yeah. That's what you're saying. I have to rethink my whole life. Yeah. Stop smiling so much.

I think it would better off. That's a good note. I'm going to take that seriously. Stop smiling so much. Yeah. And Whitney, you're a filthy cougar bitch. You stink. See you later. Bye, everybody.

Hope you enjoyed the show. It's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. You've kicked off YouTube forever. We need you're the best. We love you. Fucking eat shit. Bye.

Bye. I'm with you, Carl. I think she's the worst. Shut up. Shut up. No, I'm with you. I think she's absolutely terrible. No, I see she's great.

Shut up. I love Wendy. Stop it. Now, what is this plan you have? There's no plan. We love Whitney. Oh, shit. You're not muted.

Hold on. Oh, you get arrested for that, for sure.