The Creep Off - Episode 306: A Genuine Karl Foot

Episode Date: March 23, 2026

Join Karl & Vinnie as they celebrate "Pakistan Day" by nominating the country's biggest creep! Plus the usual chaos and side tangents—we watch Justin Timberlake's DUI arrest and break down whatever fresh scumbaggery the universe served up this week.. Don’t forget to vote for who brought the biggest creep at patreon.com/thecreepoff.  Check out this week’s scum parade stories here: Pervert sent penis pics in pink chastity belt and begged woman to treat him like a pony - Daily StarFrom Healer to Offender: Six Years for Dorset Doctor Who Abused His Patients - Dorset EyeMom-to-be finds out cop who got her pregnant has HIV after receiving text message... as he is charged with felony | Daily Mail OnlineAmber Snow Accused of Delivering Drug-Laced Lasagna to Pregnant VictimThe score is currently Vinnie 3 - Karl 4 – Guest 4 Want more of the madness? Support the show on Patreon, Supercast to snag exclusive merch and get an extra bonus episode every week!Don’t forget you can leave us a voicemail at 585-371-8108You can follow our results girl Mahalia @mahellllyeahYou can follow our Results girl Danni on Instagram @Danni_Desolation

Hey Carl, Hackamania is two and a half weeks away from today, bro. That's pretty exciting. I'm really looking forward to it. Dude, I am already there in my mind. Yeah? What are you doing while you're there? Oh, dude. I don't know.

Bothering people. Awkwardly staring at the showgirls that walk around Fremont Street, making them uncomfortable. All you do is wander around. I swear to God, every time we go to Vegas with you, I just find you like eight hours later. I'm like, where are you been? You're like, oh, I walked all the way to the strip, and then all the way to the airport, and then I came back here. Like, oh, okay, okay, cool, man.

It's fun. That city's insane. There's lunatics running around. There's nothing better than people watching in Vegas, baby. That is true. And if anybody wants to come people watch with me, I'm probably just watching you. Right.

Yes, he will walk right away from you if you try to hang out with him. All right, creep, get away from me. Oh, buddy. But I'm really excited because we got some announcements about this today. Yes. The big one is that the pay-per-view is on sale. Yes. Now, there are people, believe it or not,

who want to be there and can't be or for whatever reason won't be. Guess what? You can still watch all of the shows. You watch The Creepoff Live. You can watch NLO, who are these podcasts, Jim and Them, Tuki Soup, this little piggy. They'll all be brought. The comedy show, it'll all be broadcast, pay-per-view. You can watch it from your lovely and comfortable home.

Hey, that's one more stand-up pay-per-view that I'll be doing that Stuttering John hasn't. That's true. Okay, kids. I'm ready to start the show. hackamania.com promo code creep 10% off. Giddy up, Carl. You're listening to the Carl Network. If you're a kid, don't get on here, okay?

See, that's how you do a disclaimer. You tell the kids that get out to fuck off the damn page. Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation. Horror shock.

I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive and I'm not backing down. Cuckoo! That ain't funny. Inducing thing. Ola creepos, welcome to another episode of your favorite true crime podcast, the show about creeps by creeps for you creeps. I'm your host. My name is Vinnie and joining me today in studio.

As always, my arch nemesis. What is happening Vinnie Paulino? You're going down today, bitch. Whoa. Going down. Disaggressive out of the gate? You know, you introduced me as your arch nemesis. I figured I was playing into it.

Oh. Well, let me tell you something, Carl. When I get into the ring and creep off a mania. Oh, it's a creepomania, baby. Okay, good. Yeah, it makes more sense. Trademarked. Trademark.

How's it going, buddy? I'm okay. Happy Monday, bro. Happy Monday. Happy Monday. Hackomania sneaking up on us two weeks away. Unbelievable. I spent some time this weekend working on the live show,

and I'm very happy to tell you that next week, we're going to have a special guest on the show. We don't do guests very often. He's not going to stay for a long time. We'll see. I mean, I don't have a lot of confidence in this guy showing up. That's probably accurate. But we will be announcing who our special guest referee is for the competition part of our live show.

Excellent. Next Monday. But, Carl, this week, we have another competition to get to. Why don't you explain the rules to everybody, especially if there's some new folks listening? Of course, the creep-off is a true crime show. but it's also a contest. And Vidi and I compete each week to find the biggest creep in a certain category.

Today we're trying to find the biggest creep from Pakistan. Because it's like Pakistan Day or something. I don't know. We'll figure it out. Yeah, that's what Alex said. Today is like the day they became a country and they celebrate it. Right. Our producer, Alex, let us know that it's Pakistan Day.

We went, all right, whatever. Let's do that. So what we do is we try to find the biggest creep. We present who we think the biggest creep is. You all listen and watch the presentations. Then you go to Patreon.com slash the creep up and vote for a youth thought brought the bigger creep. Those votes are tallied up.

throughout the week. And then on Monday, we come back live at 1 p.m. on The Creepoff and who are these podcasts, YouTube channels, and we have our results girl, tell you those votes and tell us who won. Whoever won gets a point. And when one person gets to five points, they win the round. The other person has to spin the dreaded wheel of consequences. It is currently tied three to three. This is a big one.

That's right, Carl. One of us is going on to GamePoint this week. That's correct. So we're going to find out. And to let us know a special guest results girl today. My hell yeah There she is everybody It's my hell yeah

Hello hello Glad to be here filling in today Well we're glad to have you here We are going to see you of course Live in Las Vegas You'll be joining us for the show And today you're here to tell us who

Won last week's competition And who is the biggest creep in Ireland This is true I am here to announce GamePoint for somebody Coming in with a whopping 64% of the vote.

Carl's creep. Yes. Drunky McGee. Drunky McGee is the biggest creep in Ireland and honestly, quite possibly the world. That is correct. Thank you very much. Wow. I want to, all right. First, I want to thank all the people who believed in me all along.

I know we went through some rough patches there for a while, but you stuck with the Cusaroo's, and I appreciate you. I want to thank my parents for not raising me well at all and totally neglected to give a shit. I want to thank them. I want to thank the Academy, of course. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You're not there, yeah. You got another week to go.

I know. I have to celebrate when I win these, though, Mahalia. It doesn't happen all that often. It's very exciting. I'm very, very, very disappointed in this result. But I will live to fight another day because today's category is going to be a fun one.

We're doing the biggest creep in Pakistan today, like we said. There are some creeps over there in Pakistan. Wow. We did a little special on India not too long ago. Yeah. And there's a lot of Indians. So you've got to imagine that, you know, a certain percentage of them are going to be real creepy. Pakistan, not as many, but boy, the creeps do shine over there.

That is true. Now, Mahalia, you have a special job title here at the creep off. And your job title is the keeper of the consequences. I thought you're going to say fluffer. No? Okay. Keeper of the consequences. Dude, you want to change your job?

You don't want to do the fluffer anymore? She put it in an application. I don't know. I didn't know if she got it or not. but I assumed we didn't have a lot of that. Identity theft. That was not me. Well, now I'm a little nervous that Carl's on four.

I'm a little upset. I'm a little upset. But you're the keeper of the consequences, and Haccamania is coming up. And as per tradition, we always do a consequence right there at Hacomani. Whoever wins that show, it is a one-off. Yes.

So the winner that night, the winner in the room, is the winner wins all. And that's it. Do we have any more suggestions from our listeners? We do have a few. Yes, we do. And people are getting creative here. So we have from Hilario de Jesus de Jesus, loser has to wear an anal, tail, and kilt on stage.

Jesus Christ. Does it have to be worn properly? Because if I could pin it to my jacket, that's fine. Not specified, but. The other one has to insert it. As keeper of the consequences, I think it does have to be worn properly. Yeah. We're going to have to show us how. There's K.Y at all the different shops in the casino. You're fine.

We could go over to that hogs and heffers place. I'm sure they have a barrel full of it. Now, that's awful. Whoever suggested that? What the fuck is wrong with you? That's debased and disgusting. We also have, from Alex, he wants this to be known as the creep off sticky icky, Luser has to wear a speedo on stage, but it doesn't stop there. They then must rub peanut butter and honey and marshmallow fluff all over their body, hair, beard, and perform the live show, henceforth known as the Sticky Ikey. Yeah, that seems realistic.

That's definitely something that we're definitely doing to do. Oh, all we need is a kiddie pool and a couple jars of peanut butter. Jesus Christ. Can someone come over this? Like the last two years I've had to wear a t-shirt that says I'm gay. Can we get something like closer to that realm as aside from Speedos and marshmallow fluff? The fuck? You know what I would be?

I'll bring the supplies. I'll bring the supplies as keeper of the consequences. Well, it's good to know she's got us cover. Yeah, that's great. But there is something to that, Carl. What if we did this? The t-shirt thing is a lot of fun. But one of the interesting things about Fremont Street, where we're going to be, is they have

of those fun little circles there. How do we get a circle, Mahalia? How do we get one of those homeless people, bum circles, bum apartments they call them? I think, honestly, you just walk up and claim it. If someone's there, you push them out, you have a little contest performance. You know, you're a local. We expect you to have some info for us. That's why we have the correspondence piece.

But, nope, you have to rent those out days in advance, and you don't really know what time I don't you get. I have it reserved for you. You act like I'm not coming prepared. I got the peanut butter, honey, marshmallows. I got the circle reserved. We got to do it in the circle. We're ready for you in the biggest.

We're ready for you. I might make a few bucks at this. I know. We can put out a tip chart. That'd be hysterical. I might make a few bucks. Okay. Midnight at the circle.

We got to find out what time we get the circle for. That's actually really fucking funny. I was going to say 9 a.m. 9 a.m. At the circle. We want a bigger crowd, though. We want to have a bigger audience. All right.

How long do you got to stand out there? Carl, what's an appropriate amount of time to do this performance art? Well, I think you get the circle for two hours at a time. So you're good with standing out there for two hours? Well, yeah, I'll be applying all of this stuff. You know, first I change into my speedo. Sure. Then I have to apply all the stuff out of me.

I love how it's just assumed I'm going to lose. This fucking sucks, by the way. What am I signing up for? I'm about doing any of this. Well, you're starting up for the creep off live on stage. All right. I was going to say, let the listeners pick a t-shirt and stand in the circle. But, Malia is like, no, we're going to get the peanut pot.

We're going to get the fucking cream cheese. We're going to do the whole thing. Loser wears a Speedo. It's been submitted. These are from the fans. This is not me. I'm just reporting the idea submissions. And hey, Vinny?

The listeners are not disappointing. I just realized something. What's that? Our fans are assholes. Oh, you got it now. Yeah. I just realized that. Why do we let them dictate anything that we do?

What are we thinking with that? Hmm. Maybe we should just decide on our own. Yeah, it seems like a really bad idea. Kitten. party at Hackamania, everybody. Kitchen tea party. It'll be so much fun.

It's perfect. All right. Well, keep sending in the consequence ideas to Mahalia. Creep off consequence ideas at gmail.com. Yeah, we got to figure this out pretty quick because we got, it's coming up on us. So we got to make sure we are prepared and ready to go. Do you prepare, Carl? Do you prepare?

Mahalia, where can everybody find you? People can follow me at Mahalia on Instagram. and keep sending those ideas in. I've been having fun with this and looking forward to seeing you all live here in Las Vegas. That's right, the place to send your consequence ideas. It's really difficult. Creep off consequence ideas at gmail.com.

It goes right to mehalia. Our fat, greasy fingers stay off of it. All right, Mahalia, we'll see you next week. Take it easy. Bye. Get out of here. Get. All right.

Now, she brought some good news today. I appreciate her. Whatever. She's great. Do you know today's Super Chat Monday? I do remember that. In fact, a couple people are celebrating. Our pal Bettinger, 59, became a YouTube member.

Thank you. Then our pal Labran Mystic gave out a podcast. Who Are These Podcast Membership? Which is fantastic. Thank you, Labran Mystic. I don't know how he's funding all of these shows. I see him everywhere. Look at that.

Kifting 5, the Kripbub channel memberships. Boom. Enjoy those people. Yeah, we do bonus episodes every Friday at noon Eastern, and they say up there, for you. Carl, the cop cam we watched on Friday, haunted me. Yeah, that was crazy, right? I had, I would not have brought that to the show proper. That ended in tragedy. I'll tell you, I've had a conversation with like three people just randomly because it's popped into my head. I was just having a five-mile gaze.

Like, what are you thinking about, Viti? Well, let me tell you how this cop really fucked up one day. Yeah, I've brought that to a few people as well. It's definitely stuck with me. Yeah. Here's some good news, Carl. Preacher Bill's been a member for five months. He says, this show is helping with my stroke recovery. I can almost move my hand to turn it off. Well, preacher, Bill Godspeed, buddy. Feel better, buddy. Thanks for watching. The Blackcast could fuck right off.

Member for six months. Vote for Carl, mostly because Vinny said my cop cam would be boring. But also, worth mentioning, WATB is Wednesday at 1 p.m. this week. promo code bears. Yes, special day this week for WATB, Wednesday at 1. And Joseph Cowan, member, for seven months. Will Carl or Vinnie perform their own fluffer nutter? I don't know what that means.

I'm not sure about that. And then Levy first came in with two bucks. I thought Corey Feldman canceled Hackamania. He's trying. He's trying. Well, there's going to be that big protest outside. Good to see you, Bob Levy. Is Corey Feldman coming to protest for reels?

No. Does that be fun? Corey Feldman doesn't follow through on anything. And he doesn't want to be anywhere near Jim and them. He's afraid of them. Oh, that's good point. Yeah. Hakemany is going to be fun.

It's going to be great. I can't wait for. It'll be so fun. If you're still not on the fence about it, just buy your ticket, get your airfare. Come on out. We're going to have a blast. Now, here's something that's really important, Carl. Yeah. Supertips. Yeah, supertip.g.g slash creep.

That's right. No us at the end. Just one creep. Single creep. That's right. And last week, we missed two because they came in after the show ended. So I'm going to hit them real quick. All right.

If I made a few more mistakes, I would look exactly like Ethan Ralph. See you in Vegas creepos. That's a good observation, actually. It's a pretty good observation. And then our pal Kim Boli, thank you so much for the $10. and sorry we missed us last week she said see you in hackamania boys see you there kim come up and say hi and then our pal hunter duke came in let me tell you brother chad sucks so bad once he said he joined feldman's protest corrie backed out vote viny and vote often see you boys in Vegas yeah i didn't see the tweet

but i guess chad tried to get in on that did he really yeah i don't know i don't know okay well carl i think it's time to start a competition it's been 20 minutes of banter Yep, let's go. Bring that bell. All right, my biggest creep from Pakistan is actually a pair of brothers, Muhammad Arif Ali and Muhammad Farman Ali. And they were arrested in April of 2014 after neighbors complained about a dead body stench wafting from their home in Daria Khan in Punjam province. Okay, so they had a smelly house in Pakistan.

Yeah, so the cops said, Ali admitted to boiling a toddler's body. They found a three-year-old's head. Uh-huh. And he said, yeah, yeah, we boiled this toddler's body into a curry. Uh-huh. My brother and I did that. They dug the chattel from a grave in a nearby cemetery. Right.

During the initial interrogation, RIF has admitted they chopped the body and cooked it into a curry. The brothers were arrested back in 2011. After police said they dug up a woman's body and cooked it into a meat curry. See, this all started when a 24-year-old woman died of throat cancer and was buried by her relatives. Okay. All right. The next morning, some of the women of the family wanted to go back and visit the grave.

Sure. That they had just buried this 24-year-old. Right. And they found out that it had been dug up. What the fuck happened here? Uh-oh. Uh-oh. The dead woman's brother was horrified.

Discovered the body was gone called the local elders. And the local elders called the police, which they should have done in the first place. But apparently you got to go to the elders first. Before you could bother the police. It's a whole chain of command. It is. Yes, it's very weird. Do you want to pull up the photo of these two guys?

I'm sorry, I should have told you to show the fine folks. These are the brothers right here in custody being taken away. There's another photo. Yeah. Good looking guys, right? Better looking that I would have guessed for fucking corpse cannibals. So going back to that 2011 arrest, in an interview with the BBC last year, the lead investigator said, in the middle of the room, I saw a cooking pot, which was half full of meat currie.

Nearby was a wooden board, a butcher's axe, and a large kitchen knife. Bits of fat clung to the board and the blade and the axe. Okay, well, you don't clean your kitchen all the time. No, I know. It's an ongoing process. It still gives me the creeps. They had chopped off one of the legs below the knee and the other one near the shin. The rest of the body was intact.

The curry was made from those parts. So they're just eating calves of this lady just getting started. They still got the rest of the body just sitting there. There was a trail of ants going up to where the body was. Which is how they figured out which room it was in. That's how they figured out which end to start with. That's not great. Oh, God.

So during their arrest back in 2011, their brothers told police they've been digging up bodies for years. The two men had dug up more than 100 corpses from the local graveyard and had eaten them. So how do you start doing something like that? Vinny is the question. So these guys were both married and had children. It seemed to be like kind of normal guys, right? Well, they're wise. They got to feed them somehow.

Their wives both left them because they would beat them and locked them in the house when they went out so the wives were like, I'm out of here. I'm done with this. But the Ali brothers had been in touch with a local sorcerer who locals caught stealing a body from a grave years earlier. And that sorcerer, by the way, disappeared as sorcerers tend to do. Yeah, well,

in a puff of smoke, right? Something like that. So they were hanging up the sorcerer who was teaching them about digging up bodies, and it turns out that the sorcerer let him know that they had written certain verses of the Quran in reverse as a way of casting a spell

on their neighbors. Oh. And he said, in order for the spell to be effective, the brothers had to remain unclean and eat human flesh. So this was something

they were doing in order to cast this spell on their neighbors and keep it going. Oh, so they were just like doing normal wicking stuff. Right. Yeah. Normal wicked stuff, correct.

The men were jailed probably a little out of candles, too. The men in 2001 were jailed for two years after admitting they cut up and ate this woman's lower limbs. They were sentenced under the law

of a desecration of the grave because in Pakistan, there is no law relating to cannibalism. That's why they only got two years. They were released in May of 2013. It sparked protests at the town. They're like, what, these two fucking goofballs? These two silly billies?

Digging up graves and eat people? These two guys out free again? And sure enough, they go right back at it, digging up toddlers and making curry. So that's why I think the biggest creep in Pakistan are these two cannibals. Okay. That's pretty good. But I got to be honest with you. It doesn't look like.

they're very good at it. They're pretty fucking skinny. Dude, they were in jail for two years. By the way, they refused to eat the food in jail that didn't like it. It was too fresh. Fucking assholes. Well, Carl, there is something way more disgusting than eating corpses. All right. I want to introduce you to this guy.

His name is Mohamed Riyaz. And he moved to Karachi Pakistan as a teenager and got a job working at this place. You see, apparently the graveyard business is a big business at Pakistan. Dude. All right. I'll let you do your presentation, but at the end of this, can we conclude, can we conclude that, like, cemeteries can just go away now?

We're done with them. Yep. Okay. We're going to get, I'm going to talk about that at the end of my presentation. Because there is a problem with corpses in Pakistan. They're getting up, moving to America, and podcasting with stuttering John. I noticed that. I'm telling you.

Now, this guy got a job working there, just watering the plants. So they see all those plants on the, the caskets there? Beautiful. His job was the landscape and water all of those. So he took this job and he was working there for his first year. He met this guy named Wazir, and he trained Muhammad how to dig graves and do that part of the job. So Wazir dies. And Muhammad jumps up.

He's like, I'll take his job. Cool. And so now he's got a good gig. He's the grave digger at this place. And for years, he's left to his own devices. But then the managers of the cemetery started getting a little suspicious of him. You see, it was taking him a little bit longer to bury people than it would normally take him. Oh, he was a lazy bones?

Well, they were thinking that he was, like, taking the time to, like, loot and steal from the bodies. Oh, okay. So they thought that Muhammad was, like, just looking for things to steal. But obviously, the families did that before they ever got to the cemetery. Can I just put this out there? Sure. Because I'll probably die before a lot of my relatives. Yeah.

When you do bury me, can you take the money and drugs out of my pockets, please? I don't want people looting my corpse. Well, I'm taking one of those. of your feet. I'm going to stuff and mount it as a trophy, a victory trophy. It should go right back. If I survive, if I out survive you, oh, that's going on the mantle. Yeah. It's a genuine Carl for it. I am signing off on this right now. It's officially. Okay. All right. Cool. It's my trophy. So, uh, we're going to have to put it in resin. It's going to smell. Um, so they think that the guy is like stealing from the place, right?

So they go, you know what, pal? You're not the grave digger anymore. we're demoting you. You're back to garden work. So he's a little pissed off. And they hire like a crew of people that are now in charge of digging the graves. And he's like resentful of it. And they see him one day with the shovel filling in a grave. And they're like, yo, Muhammad, what the fuck, bro?

You're not supposed to be doing that. You need to go water those plants. He sees them get saucer-eyed and runs the fuck out of the cemetery. And they don't see him again. Okay. Good ridden. He just disappeared. because they caught him digging a shoveling dirt back on a grave.

I will tell you, once you demote someone at a job, it's best to find a way to just get rid of them because it's not going to go better. If you saw what happened at the Tonight Show with John Melendez, you know, sometimes you demote someone, you demote them, you demote them, you demote them, they don't get the hint. They stick around. You're like, we're going to keep paying you less money. You still want to be here.

You're like, yep, like, oh, fuck. Yeah, this guy's definitely more proactive than Suttering John. Everyone is. So a couple weeks later. Rockle or B, you cannot have my teeth. Vinny gets a foot. That's all I'm giving right now. I take a foot.

The man wants a tooth. Rocko O'Bee, if you give me a 20, maybe I could think about giving you a couple of my teeth. Yo, we'll crack him out of his head with a hammer after he's dead. Give me a 20. Or before I'm dead. That'll be a delight. I'm sure a doctor's going to get involved in some point.

Like when you start turning into that picture from the Simpsons episode when Lisa needs braces, when the teeth actually start coming through the side of your face and you have to get doctors involved, we could auction off a couple of those suckers, buddy. It's fun. Yeah, that'll be a nice time for anybody. So the guys at the cemetery are working one day a few weeks later.

And kind of on the horizon, they see Mohammed jump out of a grave, just pop up. And he sees them and takes off running as fast as he can. So what do they naturally do? They start chasing him. And then not only are they chasing them, people on the street see that there's a good old,

foot-chasing Pakistan. So they start chasing him too. Then the cops see what's going on. And the cops start chasing him. Eventually, they have to pull an angry mob off of this guy who are kicking the shit out of him. They don't even know what he did. Right.

Right. So they take him to the police station. And the cops go back to the cemetery to figure out what the fuck was going on here. They get to the grave that he was at. And guess what they found? A naked from the waist down corpse with a lubed up vagina. Oh, he brought lub. Yeah.

That's good. Yeah. Yeah. It's hard to get a dead woman wet. So it turns out... Well, although he was the guy watering the plants. Anyway, yeah, go ahead. So it turns out Muhammad was quite the coxman.

Yeah. For about eight years, whenever he saw a corpse that he found attractive, he would loob it up and fuck it before he buried it. So that's why I was taking him so long. He's no two-pump chump. Nope. He was having his way with these things. And they don't even embald them over there, Carl.

Oh. Interesting. Those are ripe fucking corpses. Oh. It's a dried out... All right. Yeah. I'd rather eat it than fuck it.

I know you would, Vitty. By the way, can someone please get that as an ISO for me? That really is the story of your life. I'd rather eat it than fucking. That's perfect. How do you think I got married? That's gross. It turns out Mohammed tried to claim that his old boss, Wazir,

told him that this was the... job. Right. He's like, I was trained and told that I was supposed to fuck these corpses before I buried. I can imagine, like, bitching about the pay and then you got to negotiate, like, oh, well, there's other perks aside from just the compensation package. I mean, if you want to

fuck a few of them, I look the other way. I have to wonder why he volunteered so quickly for the job. Yeah. But, you know, Wazir, it was an older guy, and they don't think that he was, they can't prove that Wazir was doing any of this shit. They know this guy was. It turns out hundreds,

Hundreds of bodies this guy fucked. Can I ask you a question, Vinny? Yeah. How would you feel if someone fucked your corpse? How would you feel about that? Dead. I would feel dead. I would feel nothing.

How do I feel about that thought of it? Yeah. Flattered. Yeah, me too. I kind of think it'd be funny, especially if people are just like, so this guy who hosted the creep-off? Listen to happen to him after he died.

I went balls deep of that fucking asshole. Wait, you're the one who did it? Oh, that's even funnier. All right, yeah. Could you have reburied him instead of leaving him there? for the animals to get. That would have been nice of me. I wouldn't care.

But Carl, after this, this was 2011 that they caught this guy. This became a national thing. And it turns out they started a reselling these. This was a thing that they stopped doing. But they started selling locks. What the fuck? Your daughter's casket. It's a Bordaga.

Lock up your daughters, everybody. Wow. The gravediggers might be around. Holy shit. Jokes on you. I'm going through the side. Right. I mean, you just dig around it. That's not real.

That's not real. That's it is. My daughter's pretty hot. So can we get one of those doors, please? And leave it to these ghouls who own cemeteries. That's a business, bro. They're like, hey, you want one of the locks? That's true. That's a good point.

We could also put a ring cam on it, if you'd like, and get alerted when someone's checking her out. What is it going to be a billion Pakistani dollars with a ring cam? Get out of here. So, long story short. He was charged under various sections of the Pakistani Penal Code, including offenses against burial places, just ended up paying a fine for this, Carl, because there's no law against fucking corpses in Pakistan. There you go. There's no laws against cannibalism. There's no laws against fucking corpses.

It's like these dead people have no rights at all or something. It's like they're just gone and their pieces of meat to do it as you please or as you find them. Interesting. And, yeah, he just, he's out and free, wandering the streets right now. So that's my creep this week Well, I'll be honest with you Mohamed Reyes I think both of our creeps are not a threat to anyone

Right? They only like dead people Both of our creeps are just interested in dead people So to that, to that, it's like, well, yeah I mean, as long as you don't leave the stinky meat in your abode So that the neighbors are smelling it Don't fuck people's corpses. Vote for Carl, patron.com, slash

The Creepa. Can I just, can we just dissect this for a second? Because I want to throw out a thought to you. Dissect. You saw what I did. I did. Okay. You live in a country where food isn't always the best and easiest thing to get.

Sure. I understand eating corpses more than I understand fucking them. We've already established this, Vinny. I know. You like eating. You like food. You'll try anything. I'm just saying, like, a case could be made for being hungry and wanting to have, like, an evil spell on your neighbors.

Would you, all right. Versus just being a horny and seeing a dead corpse and being like, yeah. Would you eat a thigh sand? If that sandwich had pickles on it. Oh, no. See? Oh, no, I'd rather starve. See, that's the thing that turns you off.

I wouldn't even eat it after the pickles were on if they took the pickles off. Just as long as the pickles were on there at some point, you're passing on that. Yep. What about just like a spicy mustard? Oh, delicious. Yeah. Long pig. You ever had a long pig thigh sandwich?

No. I mean neither. Catch you now. We'll go overseas one of these days. They'll catch in Thailand. This is going to be a tough one, but figure out who brought the bigger creep and vote at a Patreon.com. You don't be a Patreon member to vote and vote one time

please. Vote once. That's all. Once is plenty. That's all we ask. That's all we ask. All right. This isn't the United States presidency. Just vote one time. That is true. Now, Carl, before we get to your cop cam, let's hit up a couple of these because we got a bunch of people weighing in.

Laverin Mystic. Going to be light this week, losing bigot craps on Saturday. No, Labrinsic, we can't have that out of you. Although every time he says that he's not going to spend a lot of money, we see a lot of money. coming in. So thank you, buddy. Yeah, prove us wrong. We're going to see Levin, Michigan, Vegas. Tuki's unpaid staff, thanks for the two bucks. So Carl's creep solved world hunger.

Basically. Good point. Rock Orby, 2002, thanks to the two bucks. Curry flavored baby back ribs. Yum. Good point. Babyback ribs. I get it. Abnai, 5191, member for two months of the actual worshippers of Kali in the 1980s Indian government prevented Indiana Jones and Temple of Doom filming in India. I think they also just saw that it wasn't going to be as good as

Riders of the Lost Ark. And they went, really? This is the sequel? You guys sure about this? There's not Nazis. You're just going to make fun of our priest. Yeah. It was also kind of a prequel, which back then they're like, ah, this prequel thing's not going to work out.

Rock or B, 2002, thanks for the five bucks. Vinnie's Mohammed was simply emulating Tom Petty in the video for Mary Jane's Last Dance. That's true. Which is a great song. And a great video. Yeah. Yeah.

Can Beacer is hot as shit in that. What's the problem? You vote for Vinnie, kids. Ebney 5191, legal cannibalism, legal necophilia. You guys are holding Hackamani in Vegas. It's not Pakistan. Buzz Killington's or what? All right.

Next year, I'm going to talk to Melton. Solid point. Solid point. And, uh, all right, Carl, I think I know what time it is. I can't wait to see Carl's Cockham. Fight with the cops for no reason. Will you please show me, Carl's Cockham. Lose all your rights.

Ruin your life. It really is just don't. What a country full of ghouls, Pakistan really is. It really is. It's fun, though. We had a lot to choose from, I'll be honest. I had a couple other ones picked out before I picked the cannibals. Yeah, I didn't see those guys.

I might have picked them, but I'm going to tell you something. I still sticking with my hand here. Carl, this is going to be a good cop cam. I am super excited to see this because it's a celebrity, right? So normally I get copcan suggestions, and I appreciate everyone who sends those in, continue to send those them. This one's all me, baby, because I saw over the week. weekend that the body cam footage from Justin Timberlake's arrest has been released.

They tried to block it. So basically, Justin Timberlake's attorneys said the harm from public exposure, stigma harassment, reputational injury, and the permanent loss of privacy is immediate and irreparable. Yeah, that's just about the sexy back video. Right. So, yeah, they had negotiations between the Grammy winner and the town of, uh, Sag Harbor and the party settled on Friday, March 20th to share a redacted version of the body cam footage with the public.

There's 12 hours of this. This is 12 hours long and what they've released is about 22 minutes. What we're going to be able to see. Are there going to be multiple, like, additions of this possible? No, because they settled. If more gets released? I'm telling you, they settled for this redacted version of it. Okay.

Because, yeah, I mean, it does suck for Justin Timberlake that this came out, but the fact that he really fought hard for not to come out is what made. Everyone want to watch it. This has millions of views on it. I believe this is what they called the Streisand effect. It's very good, Vitty. Viti learned something new. I sure did.

My number zero zero is when he's first getting pulled over because he's running, stop signs, and swerving a bit. Okay. How long are you renting it for? Just for a couple days. What do you visit him? Yeah, I'm on tour. What are you doing?

I'm on the world tour. A what? A world tour. Doing a lot. Hard to explain. I'm on the phone with my cop friend. Do you know him? World tour.

I'm Justin Timberlake. What's your name? Justin Timberlake. You are Justin Timberlake? Yeah. Do you have a license with you? So either this cop doesn't give a fuck or doesn't know who Justin Timberlake is. To be fair, the last couple of times,

I've seen him. He looks kind of a little older, a little more like a just like a dad. I know. Honestly, I'm a little surprised how the police handled this. I'll be honest with you. Right there, he's like, I'm on a world tour. I'm Justin Timberlian. I'm like, all right, man. He's there someone who can come pick you up. You know what I mean? Call your tour manager. Call somebody. Yeah, exactly. I want some tickets for my wife, for my kid. Oh, this field sobriety is embarrassing. So he's trying to just be like cool with everyone at first. Because, you know, listen, we all came to fall in love with Justin Timroy. None of us gave us shit when he was in sync.

Then he started doing his solo stuff. We didn't care. And then it turned out he's a funny fucking guy. He's great on S&L. We appreciate him. So, you know, he's got a likable personality. I think he's putting that to use here. My clip one.

You can be clicking your heels. Arms by your side. Just wait until I have you go. Like this. Arms by your side. So it's going to look like this. Sorry. I've never done this.

So I'm just. Just mimic him. It's going to be arms by your side just like that while you're doing it. Perfect. Okay. Your eyes are going to be looking at your toes. Okay. As you take each step, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.

Okay. Once you get to your nine step, like I demonstrated, your lead foot's going to stay planted, and you're going to take a series of small steps around, followed by nine heel-to-to-to-steps back. Okay. And then jazz fingers. As you walk, you're going to be counting those steps out loud looking near your toes. Arms by the side of the whole line. I didn't even fucking catch what he just told him to do.

One foot in line. Okay. right foot in front of your left. You got to stay like that, and then just like this? It's going to look like that. We'll start, okay? He's going to tell you when you're supposed to begin. He just wants to, he just wants to be in position,

he's going to basically tell you when I go. I'm going to get in position, and then I'm going to say you may begin. I got that. 3-21-1, turn kick, turn kick. Right foot in front of your left. Ready? Then you may begin. Oh, you wish you had to do over there, don't you?

Right foot in front? You're going to look down? I got to say, this is very confusing. I think you picked up on this as well. After the officer's explaining it, there seemed to be way too many words to explain what this is. And you know that if you just said, listen, I need you to Harlem shake into a stanky leg

with a pivot turn, pop and lock into gangnam style. Just be like, yeah, okay, I can do that. That's no problem. But this guy with this, you know, stare at your toes, count to nine, pivot on one foot. It's like, none of these are dance moves, sir. That's a good point. I'm not following any of this.

That was my clip two, right? Yeah. We skipped one. That's fine. We don't have to play one. Number three. Now he's just like pleading with these officers because he's not following any of this. He is wasted.

One, two, three, all the way up to nine. Got it. Followed by a series of small steps around. One. Are we going backwards? Three, all way up to nine back. This is going to be healed to toe. So you're going to be clicking.

Where are you playing one now? No, buddy. These are labeled very, okay. I just played number three. you just told me too. Okay, great. Keep it going. Decide, while you're doing this, you're going to look down at your toes.

Guys, I'm just following my friends back to my house. I'm not, like, I'm not doing anything. I'm just following my friends back to my house. Will you do this, do these tests? Sure. Okay. Like I explained to me nine, no steps. So it seems like I'm going backwards.

No, he's making them explain. this over and over again because justice is not picking up on this and what happened right there that was a guys can we figure this out another way that was one of those like we could obviously figure this out like how much do you guys need or what do we got to do to just right not go through this because this is ridiculous um clip four uh he's a little nervous being out there carl i think that's the one we just played i think it it's twice is it yeah let me let's go to number five one-legged stand how does that sound he's bad at this I think we'll be good from there.

While holding this position, count a loud 1,000, 2, 1,000, 3,000, and so on until you have to stop. Sorry, my heart is facing. When you do this test, keep your eyes on your raised foot, count aloud by 1,000s. Keep your arms at your sides, and if you touch toes, if your foot touches the ground, if you lose balance or whatever, just bring right back up, okay? Continue. So, always right side, and then let me know when you're ready to say you're ready so you're

Put your foot down and then it's not. Okay. So this guy stinks at giving directions. I got to say he'd be terrible, what Simon says, if you had this officer. Yeah, this guy's, uh, the directions are not clear. It's very confusing. He is reading them from a script. Like, you don't have this memorized.

Like, yeah, stand on one foot and stare at your other foot. Like, count, count by 1,000. Why is it so difficult? Anyway, so now we see ST Stanley show up. Who's ST Stanley? S.T. Stanley is a stylist turned design. Oh, good. That'll help. Good friends with Justin and his lovely wife. And she's who is hanging out with Justin this evening. So she walks up and I think you're going to pick up on what she's putting down here, even though the cop does not. Hi, are you with Justin?

Okay, perfect. Yeah, we're just doing a couple tests on them, okay? Help us. What's up? Help. You need help? You need help? No, I'm just kidding. Okay. We're just doing a couple of tests on them. I need to hang it over here, just to you know, like you're here with them, okay? Minnie. That was pretty smooth, though. You're picking up on this, right? She's like, come on. Help us? Just a different.

You can help us out, right? You're cool. You're one of the cool ones, right? Yeah, she should have just winked, and I think you would have gotten it. But you also have to be very careful with fucking cops because you say the wrong fucking thing. They have another charge on you. Bribing them is frowned upon.

That wouldn't be a bribe, I don't think, because there was not a clear cut, hey, I'll do this for you if you do this. It was like, that was a bag for leniency. Correct. With a wink. But. What I'm saying is... Implied that maybe there'll be something for you down the road.

Right. What I'm saying is you can bribe your server. You can bribe the bartender. Can't bribe cops for whatever reason. It's frowned upon on this country. Later, she goes on to just say, like, can I just drive him home? Like, she thinks that this is ridiculous. She's like, it's fine.

He doesn't drive anymore. Just I'll drive him. I'm fine. See, that's the... Make everybody's life easy, officer. Well, my clip. Don't ruin Justin's marriage. The opposite of easy.

My clip number seven, Justin's having a hard time with this. By the way, these are like, these are like really hard tests. It's not the LSAT. This is hard. These are really hard tests. At the C-Best. I guess to stand on one foot and count.

He's just like, guys, I don't know who's going to be able to pull this shit off. It's like, dude, you dance around counting every night. You're on a world tour. Why is this difficult? I can't wait for him to talk to his lawyers, when he's just like, I tried smiling at them. I told him who I was. Oh, that's so funny.

So, SD is, again, going to try to plead with them in my next clip here. ST kind of rules so far. We have to make sure that your friend here is okay to drive. Could I just drive? Well, he was already operating a vehicle, so we need to make sure that he was okay. He wasn't operating. rating the vehicle under any kind of impairment.

Got that. That's all. If he's all good? Can I cross my phone? Is that okay? Yeah, you can go into the vehicle. That's perfect. Okay, thank you.

Yeah, it's fine. Get the empty bottles out of their, SD. Here's the moment of truth. Oh, no one on. He failed those stills of writing tests like a motherfucker. Put your hands behind your sexy back. I see what you did that. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Well done. Well done, sir. So my clip nine She can't believe this is happening

She's been watching all of this And she's like, wait, you guys are really arresting Just in different lake right now? For real? That's unbelievable So now you're fine So at this point I know my hair sucks here

But like I usually look at So at this point he's coming with us No he's not Yes is. No why? He's being arrested for Doc Skater Stop it DWA, yes

No way Yes Don't say it Yes It's come back with us Okay, so you look at your kid to drive. Okay, I don't see me, your eyes look perfectly fine. Your speech isn't slurred.

You're arresting, you're arrested. Yeah. Stop it. Yeah. Why? He was driving drunk. He wasn't. He felt every single one of those things.

What do you mean? So. She had a terrible negotiator, I have to say. Maybe if your hair looked better. Right. I would listen to you. Yeah. She's a little long in the tooth, you know.

Could have gotten a younger, hotter check to plead with the police officers. Oh, my God. If your wife was here, this would not be a problem. That's true. Oh, Ms. Peel, did you want to drive home? Of course, yes. Justin, have a great night, sir. Can we follow you?

Make sure you get home okay? Oh, shit. All right, so she can't believe it. Now, as he decides, all right, I'll go talk to the other cop. Maybe he'll be more reasonable. So she tries this again, my next clip. And then he's a rain for the morning. Unfortunately not.

And then he'll be released. What happened? I stopped them. based on observations. What was he doing? Tell me what happened. He was unable to maintain his lane, but I'm not going to continue. We're going to get him back, okay?

This is a private matter with us and him. I don't want to say it doesn't concern you because I don't want to be rude. However, it is a matter between us and him. But did I talk to him real quick? No, not anymore. No, he's in our custody now, okay? So he said, I talked to him just now. You're going to tip the car home, okay?

Okay. So she really wants to go talk to Justin. I don't know what her game plan is. And they're like, no, no, he's in our custody now. We're not doing that. But these police officers are also like, I made it as Justin Dibberlake, so I guess we'll make an exception. And it's funny how she tries to manipulate the cops in my clip number 11. Okay.

There has to be a moment of talking. No. Not anymore. Please help me. Not anymore. Hold on. Okay. Hold on.

This is the registration of the vehicle. Just make sure it stays with the vehicle. I have his phone. Yeah. Yep. Can you guys please just do me a favor because you love to buy-bye-bye. You're like sexy bad. Like, do me one favor.

Let me ask him if he wants me to give him his phone. Yeah. This is insane. So it's not going to be a long thing. I'll let you walk up real quick. Please. Okay. So she convinced them.

Now, I should tell you. She seems sober to you? I don't know. I honestly don't know the answer to that. They're out together. It's probably not. Yeah. Like the cops, the way she's talking doesn't seem like she's.

These cops don't care about bye, bye, by, by. You should have said dick in a box. The cops, oh, that's the dick in the box guy? Holy shit my band I didn't even realize You gotta know your audience You gotta know your audience on this one Not everybody's a bravoed wine drunk like you

Right So then she does go and talk to Justin And I don't know that this helped out in any way My clip 12 You guys, come on No, Mr. No, Mr. Timberleit, do you want your phone in our custody or not

To release to you when you're out? Yes or no Yes or now? You can keep the phone now You can keep the phone Okay, come on Step back from the cross, please. Let me just ask you, like, why are you asking me?

Like, Justin's so out of it. He still doesn't understand what's going on. He's wasted. So then, Minnie, have you seen this? He's back in the precinct. Have you seen these videos at all? No.

Okay, cool. He's not happy with the police in my clip 13. All right. You are intoxicated. Okay. So you were under arrest for DWI. Okay. Okay.

Awesome. Well, we're asking me if you understand. and what was just right to you. Yeah, I hate you. Perfect. Well, you know, I'm not real fun of you either right now, Mr. Timberlake, but if you can count me some tickets when you're at MSG, that'd be great. Wow.

I hate you. Way to go, Justin. Well, so then he decides a different tact, and he decides to be nice to the guys and plead his case in my clip 14. It's just standard protocol. Gotcha. I appreciate you, boys, for doing your job, man. I appreciate you understand that we got to do it.

Yeah, I appreciate you boys for doing your job. I had one martini and I follow my fucking friends on. I appreciate you boys for doing your job. Sure you do. What kind of martini do you think it was? You think it was maybe an espresso martini? I think it was 10 martinis, Carl. I think it was a couple martinis.

He had these pretty drug. Where is the lawyers? How was that estilating not on the phone with the lawyer? Dude, they... I don't know if I have it in the clip package, but at a certain point, they're like, Justin, if you want to call your lawyer now, you get a phone call,

and he's so out of it. He's just like, uh, wow. Yeah, he's too out of it to even communicate with anyone. But I was glad to see, because I like Justin Dipli, because I think he's a funny guy. And in my clip 15,

he's back to joking around with the cops, which is great. White? I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding, man. I mean, have you seen his moves? He can't say he's a,

white guy. Come on. It's fun. I don't know what to make of this guy. One more clip. Clip 16. This is when he finds out that he ain't going nowhere. So you're being held for the night and then in the morning is the uranium. So in the morning, usually around 9.30. All night? It might not be this one. You might be over the other one and they actually have language for him. Wow, man. And again, like I said, you can make a phone call if you would like,

attorney and things like that. You're allowed to call right now if you wish. You can call later. Yeah, any point you want to make phone bill at a lot of them. Yeah. You are entitled to have phone calls. So that's how things conclude. And he ended up pleading guilty to DWA, driving while ability impaired, which is a lesser offense than driving under the influence DUI.

And so he did plead guilty to that. Do we know if he ended up with taking a breathalyzer? No, he refused it. They asked him multiple times. Well, you could afford a chauffeur, so no worries. Yes. Also, that is the smart move. he would have blown a big number.

I have a feeling. Big money, big money, big money. Justin, don't come after me, buddy. Justin, don't come after me, buddy. I was just, that's my observation. It's my humble opinion. Carl said you drink and drive all the time. I did not say that. He said it to me right before the show.

I heard Suttery John was saying that about Justin Timberlake, but I certainly did not. Oh, yeah, he says it a lot. He opens up every show with it. I'm kidding, of course. I'm kidding. Don't add that to any documents. It's slandah. Stop adding that to documents right now.

It was a joke, Vegas beer sales, Jerry. Shut up. Hi, Jerry. Hey, Jerry. See you in a couple weeks. Carl. Yes, sir. You know what time it is? Yeah, voicemails.

Certainly is. The creep-off voicemail segment is brought to by the city of Syracuse. Although I haven't seen it myself, Afro-Man's suit sure seems like something that would be at the Syracuse Mall. See you in Syracuse. That was a pretty gaudy suit. That was the word I was going to say, too. Yeah, a little over the top on that one. someone in the chat asked if he didn't do the breather, why didn't he take the blood test?

He did refuse that as well. They did ask him take a blood test. Well, Carl, we have bad parents who listen to this show because someone left this message. Penny Winnie Carl Sink. What the fuck? Was that Vic our first review girl? We were asking where she was last week. There she is.

One more time. Penny, Winnie Carl Sink. Yeah, good point, kid. Vinny Spinny, kid. get it right. Our buddy Ronnie and Syracuse checking in, Carl. Hey, Ronnie in Syracuse. I've got to tell you, I'm a cousin Roo for Life.

Nice. But boy, Carl, you really messed up last week. You brought Lisa Boswell. And Danny calls you out correctly. She did a great job. I hate to give all this credit to Mr. Paulino. But you can't bring a woman that was a man when all the crimes were committed and slide that one by the goalie.

So, hey, you know, Carl, we've got to do better, man. Don't call me that. Hey, Roddy. Fuck you! I deserve to win that one, and you all know it. Danny's not getting a Christmas card for me this year. I'll be honest. Oh, no.

Hold on. I want to mention. I have one for us here. Go ahead. Hey, this message is for the creep off. I doubt you use it because it's super old, but the vanilla ice clip is actually their song goes, ding din din din din din din din did did did and ours goes bin din din din din din din din did did did and then he talks about how that little

makes it the world a difference anyway that's it thank you for clarifying that solid i didn't get it right um here's another pile on for you great hey smoke bay calling back to pile in on carl more uh carl why did you bring lisa boswell when her actual crime was like an episode of SpongeBob. How is that fucking creepy, dude? It was an episode of SpongeBob. Don't you remember the Panty Raid? I can't believe they got away with that shit back in the day, man.

Cartoes used to be fucking lit. Anyways, shout out Paco. All right. By the way, Lisa was sentenced to life in prison after that. I mean, you guys are asking like it was no big deal. She was sentenced to life in prison, but that was probably for her own safety. And then she got beat up a lot in prison. Yeah, for her own safety.

Right. Hey, boys, podcast, prophet here. Holy Spirit is speaking through me. I was in bed with my lady last night. She said, if I turn the light bulb off, she'd take it in the bum. Looking back, I probably should let the bulb cool first. Any little. That's good.

Hey, man, I've got a patron, or patron, patron, or patron you, whatever we want to call it for more than two years. I never got a fucking mug. I mean, I moved. I don't think you sent it to the wrong place, though, My other landlord was a good person. It would let me go at a package game for me. So I think you're lagging on the rewards there, boys.

Also, Vinny, your Irishman was not really a creep. It was just a fucking psychotic asshole. Looks like it's going to be game point for Carl next week. Okay, buddy. Hell yeah. Well, number one. Talk to me. What's going on?

If you didn't get your mug, shoot me a message on that, man. And I'll check in with Patreon because they do the fulfillment on those things. And I want to make sure you get it. Yeah, you should get a mug. Yeah, buddy. You're creepomaniac, bro? Absolutely. Now, as far as Mike Freep last week,

he threw his brother's corpse that he stabbed 107 times out, the window at the cops. He's not just an asshole. He's more than that. Moving on. This is the real podcast prophet here. Oh, that other guy was a fake. The father's son and holy spirit are speaking through me.

Did I believe that her take that call in last week. My long-en-joining voicemail included a bad joke from Keanu, and nonsensical rambling. It should have been blatantly obvious. I also happen to be a male nurse, and it's well known that IV potassium burns your veins, so either they'll lead it with ivy fluids or just eat a banana, you, pussy.

Fuck you, bye. Interesting. Do you remember that guy last week who was upset with the nurse? Yeah. We have male nurses that listen to this show. That's scary. I mean, it is a show by creeps, four creeps, though. I'm not real comfortable with that, Carl.

but I guess that's all right now. Folks, I just want to remind you that if you like to leave us a voicemail, you call 585-371-80-80-808. I don't put that enough out there for you. Feel free to leave us a voicemail. And if Carl, you need to report him, that is the number 585-371-808. Let us know what he's done to you. Serious calls only.

Damn it, what didn't he do? Carl, I think it's time for one of my absolute favorite times of the week. You ready to go? Yep. Let's do it. Scum parade. Take me on a raid of these fuck charades that these creeps have made. Let's go on parade.

Vinny and Carl going to tell you about some fuck shit. A parade. Like stories of a kid fucked by his mom or dad. Soaking up the blood of a cat. Scum parade. Carl, I want to introduce you to Stephen King. Yeah, not the Stephen King you're thinking of. Definitely not the one you're thinking of.

This one. Seasons to Siss as Stephen King, the author. This one's actually a good director. So that's good. That's interesting. This one has more moderate political views. For real. So this Stephen King posted on an equestering group on Facebook,

in different parts of the country, mind you. Asking if anyone had a stable that he could rent out for a Photoshop. shoot. Only one woman responded and was then sent alarming messages by the 27-year-old for quite a while, Carl. In August 2024, he sent an image of his junk with a pink chastity belt and then started sending in requests for her to dominate him in the stable, put a bridle on him, make him pick up the horse poop. And her response to this was nay. Yeah, by the way, you can't escalate to picking up horse poop that quickly. You got to, like, gain some trust, do some other things first.

That's the problem with this guy. He just put it all out there too quickly. Yeah, he started sending pictures of sex toys, said he wanted to be the lady's bitch. He also sent pictures of himself wearing bondage gear. Then the prosecutors added he said he wanted to be put in a bridle, and they got more explicit as time goes on. After he sent the photo, she tried to steer him towards other groups. She was like, listen, you fucking sick pervert, there's more people out there like you.

Go find them and leave me alone. which I think is the same reasonable thing to do in a situation like that. Point them in another direction. See, guys do creepy show like this all day, every day. Just say some guys are better at it. You know, you can't freak someone out this much so they go to the cops. Yeah. It turns out the chastity photo is what did it.

Because his dick was kind of hanging out in that one. I have to tell you. Yeah. The woman said that after seeing his junk, it caused alarm and distress. Which if a woman never said that seeing my dick caused alarm and distress, I'd be very proud of. It's never happened and it never well. A woman would have to see it first. Pity would be the word.

A woman who says, bless his heart. So I usually get this sound. Aw. They say he's going to a therapist, at least his lawyers do, and that it's going well for him. But the pre-sentencing report said he's no risk to children and that his employment, he works as an IT consultant, works from home and provides IT services for schools.

Not perfect. Yeah. But he has no access to the kids, they said. So, you know, whatever. Whatever. Unless they're having computer problems, which never happened. Yeah. This woman also said that her, like, daughter has access to her devices or something where he's sending in these fucking things.

It's just like... Oh, the children! Get out of here with that bullshit. Keep your fucking devices out of your kids' hands, then. So he's basically getting probation for this. He's got to go to 20 rehab sessions. Okay. And he has to pay a thousand pounds in compensation to the women for having to look at his junk and shit.

Yeah, he won't pay that. Yeah. Don't pay that. You don't have to. Sex offenders register for five years. Okay. So. Just really talked about cleaning up horseshit.

No, he sent, he sent dick pictures. Oh, that's true. Yeah, he did send dick. He's not supposed to do that. Yeah, that's true. All right, Carl, let's move on to this gentleman who looks like every middle-aged open micer I've ever seen in my life. He actually looks like Lisa Boswell pre-transition. Oh, Lord.

It's a Robert Bowers. I was what looking like right there. It might be, but this is Dr. Timothy. Guess what? Hey, guess what? I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor. You need sexual healing?

I don't do that. I'm going to sexually. Hey, hey, Helga. Guess what? What? I'm a sexual healer, Alga. I was a sexual healer once back in Vietnam. We got to recreate this show.

Let's get some wigs. Dude, that's the cat's right side. That's not a consequence. That's a joy. All right, let's do that. I would really enjoy doing the- No one else is doing that reality show. Train Rec TV, we need to do it.

Just you and me do a whole episode of Trade Rec TV. Yes. Yes. We'll recreate the set. We'll get a great screen, whatever. That'd be a fun bonus episode one day. That'd be fun. Hey, speaking of bonus episodes real fast, I was texting with Dick earlier.

Coming up in April, the next Weight Watchers. Oh, excellent. It's happening this month. We're on the calendar. Excellent. We are. We'll talk about that after me and you and get a date settled. So basically there was an investigation into this sexual healing doctor.

That's what they said, a sexual health doctor. And apparently, he was accused of abusing his position to inappropriately touch patients' penises and secretly record intimate examinations. Apparently, they described this guy as having a unhealthy fixation on penises. Yeah, but don't you want to be passionate about his job? Would it be weird if he didn't like penises? I guess. Right?

Well, you don't have to like him to know. know how to work on them. I know. But if you're going to pick this as your profession, something you do most of your time. Well, I mean, if you're a doctor, you know, it might be one of those specialties where they just needed somebody and you're like, I'll get the paycheck. I'm just saying. Whip it out.

I'm just saying, like, if there was a story that came out that said, Carl Hamburger enjoys podcasting, people wouldn't be like, well, yeah. He records it. He puts it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what he does for a living. Why wouldn't he? This guy is just like, hey, I'm really into like these dudes that come in talking about sex and now it doesn't

work. Like, yeah, I hope so. So, yeah. Well, let's talk about how this investigation began, because this is kind of fun. In August 2023, a male patient was deeply concerned by the behavior of Dr. Gurling during an examination. You know, first of all, the doctor was like, you know, sucking him off. That was weird. Right.

And, you know, he's like, hmm, tastes all right. He noticed that the doctor. Let's see if you're a premature ejaculator. I have. This is a normal test deck? Oh, yeah. Are you getting hard yet? So how many fingers?

Am I putting up? The whole fistack? Moon River. Carl, this guy, he's doing the exam. I don't know if he puts people up in fucking stirrups or something so they can't see what he's doing down there. But this guy realizes the doctor has a cell phone out. He's like filming his dick. Yeah.

And the guy freaks out. grabs the phone out of his head and runs down the street and calls the police. He leaves the hospital, leaves the clinic, goes and calls the police, says, hey, this doctor was filming my dick and it was weird. So then the cops took his phone and started going through it. And that led to a whole lot of charges against the old doc. Because apparently there were covert recordings taking place in a residential bathroom involving children. He did all sorts of stuff.

all sorts of examinations of patients recorded without them knowing. And he got six years in prison for this. No shit. Yeah, which is, I mean, seems fair. He loved too much. Sure did. He was too passionate. Some people like their job a little too much.

Let's talk about this guy, Carl. Yeah. This is a Florida police officer, Pierce Cotton. He's 32 years old. He's with the Pensacola Police Department. He is accused of engaging in a sexual relationship without disclosing that he tested positive for HIV. Major crimes.

She. Now, he was dating with a woman who works at the same department as him. Nice. She discovered she was pregnant. Wait, hold on a second. Who would want to put their penis in a co-worker? I know. I know.

Weird. I know. So he knocks us some chicken work. Yeah. The report states that the mother of the first child, out to the pregnant woman after learning of the relationship. She warned her to be concerned for her health after allegedly finding medication among Cotton's belongings

that is commonly prescribed for people living with HIV. Investigators say they obtain screenshots of text messages between the woman and Cotton. In those exchanges when asked about his condition, Cotton allegedly replied, I'm sick, it's under control, and that's been proven. You can't contract it.

All right, so here's my take on this. You should pull out anyway. You know, that's my... That's my rule, whether I have HIV or not. I mean, I'll never get tested, so I'll never know. But whether you have HIV or not, you should always just pull out. And I don't understand why there's a certain community in this country, darker skin community, that hate pulling out, Vinny.

It tends to cause a lot of problems for them. They're constantly not pulling out. And I wonder, is it the porn they watch? Can we get them some Japanese and German porn? Is that the problem? Because for me, pulling out is like one of the, maybe it's just, me. Pulling us one of the more fun aspects of this. What is this guy doing? He's got HIV. He's knocking this bitch off. These are all

bad things. You know, Carl, you make a great point. I did make a great point. And there wasn't even HIV involved in that point, especially if you have HIV, you need to be pulling out. Especially with HIV. I'm pretty sure that's kind of mean to do that. Or at least just let her know and let her decide if it's undetectible. You want your HIV-infested semen? Yeah, spunk inside of her. Yeah. She wants your HIV demon baby. You've got a, you know. you know, let her know these things. So he is being charged

with some serious crimes for this, Carl. Wait, what did you just say? Major crimes. This is a, there's a statute against us, and he was charged with them. I'm trying to find the exact charge because it was pretty good.

Well, maybe I fucking lost it. Either way, he's got a $10,000 bond, and it's a third-degree felony, if convicted, and could face up to five years. years in prison. Yeah, the felony is about knowing you have HIV and not disclosing it before intercourse, which again is why I'll never get tested.

I don't want to know. Even when they had those COVID tests me as at your house, I'm like, I don't want to know if I have COVID or not. You know what I mean? Like, that's not going to help my psyche at all. That's true. You were very happy go lucky during that whole COVID thing. I was.

Good for you. I had a lot of confidence. Check out this guy. Oh, wait, I'm sorry. This is Amber Snow. Oh, I thought that was the bass player from Anthrax. Nope. Okay.

Nope. This is an Iowa woman. Okay. And she is in serious trouble, Carl, because she tried to, how do I put this, unpragnate someone? Oh, staircase? No. Okay. Lazzania.

Oh, lasagna. The old Garfield maneuver. She put too much tuna in it or something? What are you talking about? Oh, I'll fucking throw you out of my house. You put tuna in a fucking lasagna. I know. I'm just trying to think of things you're not supposed to eat when you're pregnant.

Because lasagna, I think, is not one of them. How about a ridiculous amount of oxycodone? Ooh. Probably not supposed to have that. I would do that. I will taste your lasagna, please. Amber Snow is now facing a series of charges, included delivery of a controlled substance,

intentionally terminating a human pregnancy without the knowledge of the voluntary consent or a pregnant person and multiple counts of administrating a harmful substance. Other than that, though, how was the lasagna? It was pretty good. Back in January, family got very, very sick, Carl, after eating a family-sized pan of lasagna. that was delivered by Amber Snow to try to help the family out

because the mom was pregnant or whatever. During the investigation, it was determined the delivery of the tainted lasagna was intended specifically to cause a miscarriage to the pregnancy of the woman in the family that received the lasagna. The pregnant woman had no knowledge of this. They discovered this through text messages and emails

linked to the accounts of Amber Snow and her accomplice who's unnamed at this point. So I'm guessing she didn't want to lose the baby. Is that what you're telling me? Is that what the problem is? Because I was going to say, free lasagna or pay for an abortion, take it for me. Now, they're expensive. Here's where I think the motive lies for this.

Snow shares a minor child with members of the pregnant woman's family. Oh, so she knows it's a bad mom. She's a bad mom. Or maybe she just doesn't like her. Yeah. Or maybe her kids don't get treated as well as the other one's kids. There can be a lot of reasons here. Other way, please don't drug pregnant women, people.

I mean, I think we don't have to say this, but I guess maybe we do. Please do not drug pregnant women. Yeah. They're not supposed to do drugs. So the case remains under investigation and additional charges and arrests are imminent. She's being held on $100,000 cash bond. It's unclear whether she has obtained an attorney yet. So those are my scum parade stories for this week, Carl.

Excellent. We got to wrap up with a couple of super chats that came in. It is Super Chat Monday. We are celebrating here on Super Chat Monday. We do appreciate all of you very much. Read that one, Carl. All right. A metal horror madman says, Carl, I choked with my sound worse than John choked with his career, but I thrash on.

A metal horror madman, I was watching him, and he just so happened to have a technical difficulty when I turned it on and I was chatting. And he's a longtime WTP fan, so I appreciate him. And I know he is very well respected in the metal horror community. Well, thanks for joining us. Thanks for joining us. We appreciate it. What's the one above that? I don't think we read that one, did we? We sure did.

Oh, yeah, we did. Oh, wow, what can make? Anything on Supertip. I don't think Justin Timberlake's driving was NSYNC. Haka. There it is. There it is. All right, everybody.

We're going to get out of here in a second. But before we do, we want to remind all of you that are bonus content subscribers, Patreon, or YouTube members, there's a bonus episode coming on Friday. They're always good. There was fun. Help me sell them. Carl. I'm trying to sell them to the people. I've been selling it all fucking day. Jesus Christ. Good call. Fucking. Let's get out of here. We love you guys. Thanks for watching the show.

I got to go host Point DabblePoint on my channel and who are these podcasts. Starting at 4 o'clock, we'll be caught up on Suttering John this week. And I have guests Earl David Reed who's coming here to this club in a couple of months. He sure is. And Trucker Andy will be joining as well. Course Shulie will be there. So come chat, Suttering John, with us at 4 p.m. I would, but I wasn't invited. Bye, bye guys. See you next time. It's more important to be nice.