The Creep Off - Episode 308: Everybody Loves Karl

Episode Date: April 6, 2026

This week's episode is no holds are barred, and Karl & Vinnie are free to nominate whoever they want as this week's biggest creep! Don’t forget to vote for who brought the biggest creep at patreon.com/thecreepoff.  Check out this week’s scum parade stories here: Man caught cooking dog meat at Udon Thani home | ThaigerInd. Teen Found Guilty of Raping Non-Verbal Boy with Autism on School BusMan clawed at woman's new tattoo, ripped skin from her throat in dinnertime fight over mac and cheese, police say | Law & CrimeMan ridiculed by grandma to get a job snaps her neck and buries her in the backyard: Police | Law & CrimeThe score is currently Vinnie 1 - Karl 0 – Guest 4 Want more of the madness? Support the show on Patreon, Supercast to snag exclusive merch and get an extra bonus episode every week!Don’t forget you can leave us a voicemail at 585-371-8108You can follow our results girl Mahalia @mahellllyeahYou can follow our Results girl Danni on Instagram @Danni_Desolation

We're only a couple of days away from Hackamania, Carl. Yada, yada, yada. Get your stream, hackamania.com. You do not want to miss this. We will be live at three Pacific time on Saturday, right? That is correct. But here's the good news. You order the pay-per-view at hackamania. And you get all of the podcast, the live podcast.

I mean, who knows what's going to happen on Tuki Soup? There's a whole puppet show they're planning. It's going to be amazing. Dr. Steve's going to be on the creep off. We got a live comedy show. And you can watch it live or. anytime thereafter. It'll be there for you.

So you don't have to worry about your schedule. Check it out on your time. That's right, everybody. So make sure you go to hackmania.com. If you're not coming to Vegas, get the stream now. People aren't coming to Vegas. That's embarrassing. That's embarrassing.

Let's not rub it in any further, Carl. Wow. But they do deserve that, yes. You're listening to the Carl Network. If you're a kid, don't get on here, okay? See, that's how you do a disclaimer. You tell the kids to get out to fuck off the damn page. Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids.

Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation. Horror shock. I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive and I'm not backing down. Cuckoo! Cuckoo! It's easy to grin when your ship comes in, and you've got the stock market beat.

But the man worthwhile is the man who can smile when his shorts aren't too tight in the seat. Disgusting, vomit-inducing thing. Bose, welcome to another episode of your favorite true-crime podcast, the show about creeps. Buy creeps for you, creeps. I'm your host, the conqueror of all consequences. it's Vinnie and joining me today in the studio it's hot cucka Carl what is happening Vinnie Paulino very excited to be here on Hackamania Week we're kicking things off of Hackamania week here on the creep off do do do do do do up thanks to all the Cuzzaroos for tuning in today

we love you hi buddy hey buddy this is an exciting show today we've got a lot of stuff lined up it's a wild card Monday yep as always if you want to be a part of the show the place to go is supertip dot gg backslash creep And today we're coming off of quite a great contest. Last week was Creepiest Dentist. Yes. Yep. We had a great bonus episode Friday.

I did my consequence. Yeah, we got to talk about that. Well, what's wrong with it? Should we save it or should I yell at you now? You can yell at me now. Okay. So Vinny's got this consequence. He's got to watch this totally rosy DVD,

Rosie performing stand-up from what, the early 90s? Yeah, it's sitting on your, in front of you. Yeah, yeah. It's this right here. Yeah. So when he landed on this, I thought, oh, that's great. This would be a great opportunity for a fun stream watching Rosie. Maybe I can pop on.

I could hop into the studio or I can give me a stream yard link or something. We can watch it together and laugh a little bit. Maybe be simulcasted on WATP's channel, like all these great possibilities. Okay. And then where am I? I forget where I'm at. One of my girlfriend's houses on Saturday night. And lo and behold, on my phone, whoa, what the fuck?

Vinnie's live right now? Doing its consequence? Watching Rosie? And I was like, what the fuck with this asshole? So why would you just go and do this and go rogue on me? But then, Vinny, what did I do? I rewatched it. I went back, watched it from the beginning.

Yeah. And I noticed you've done fucked up. And you're not done with your consequence yet. And I said I'm not done with that. I know. And so all is okay now. Yeah. I was going to come into here guns ablazing and really lay into you.

But then I saw that you actually don't know how to fucking rip a DVD because you're retarded. No, no, I do. Just the drive that I had, the actual thing didn't work. I know. So I'm going to rip it very soon. Okay, but hold on. If you need help with it, I need it. Here is why, by the way, I didn't put it on the WATP channel.

Yeah. There was a specific reason. You didn't want to make any money. Copyright. Copyright. I didn't want your channel to get hit asshole. I was looking out for you, motherfucker. You're a cutie-patooty.

Oh, coming there. And I will beat your ass. You are a cutie-a-a-a-a-o-o-a-wis-old. I was looking out for you, asshole. Good point. Okay. That's a good explanation. but next time give me a fucking heads up

when you're doing a live stream I put it on the thing on it I advertise it on our social media during the week I don't look at social media Who's got time for that shit? Yeah I'm always the What an asshole video is

Just do it as consequence In a timely fashion Yeah you're right What a prick I do a lot of problems with you don't I What a prick All right Fair enough

So anyway Part one has been completed If you want to go To the Creepob channel And see I had told people That I was going to do it I had said I was going to do it. And then Saturday I go to rip the thing.

And the disc is not spinning in the fucking tray. Right. And I'm like, what the fuck? I'll download as much old rosy as I could find. You can just write down the ones and zeros manually. I mean, you're very lazy. What do you mean, write down the ones and zeros manually? Yeah, just like a microscope or something.

The fuck? I'm coming in there. I'm going to get shit out of you. Shut the fuck out. You're not going anywhere. Whoop your ass cold foot. You're not going anywhere. Dude, it's bad.

It's worse than I thought. It's legit. She has no act, bro. She's terrible. She has no act. Carl. And no charisma. Carl, I watched her one hour special she did.

Yeah. Right? She had a plant with a fake cell phone in the crowd where the phone rings and she's like, whose phone is that? And it's like, oh, it's yours. Bring it up here, buddy. And the guy just walks his stupid flip phone up there and hands it to her. And she's like, who are you talking to?

Who are you talking to? It's like, it's my wife. Who are you here with? That's not your wife. Does she know that's who you're with? And he's like, no. Can I tell you something? This is not a compliment.

You do a very good Rosie O'Donoff impression. I'll take it as a compliment. You actually sound just like that fat fucking alarm. Does she know? Carl, hold on. The worst part of it is she takes the phone and answers it. And it's so fake. It's the fakes shit you've ever seen.

And everybody in the room is applauding because they're simpletons. And she goes, hello, who is this? And then she goes, this is Betty. Betty, and you hear the lady, like Betty Who? Betty Rubble. And then she does the laugh from the Flintstones movie. And everybody applauds. And I'm glad there's a 10-day waiting period on firearms after I watch that.

That's all I'm going to say. If you want to watch it, it's on the creep off channel, everybody. You also probably wouldn't make it over to Ireland with those arms. Oh, they're not for. her. I would have just ended it off. Got it. Got it. I would have punched my own ticket to Greenland, Carl. That makes more sense.

Well, I need some good news in my life, and I have a feeling I'm not going to get it. But joining us today, as always, to give us the results from last week's episode, The Creepiest Dentist. It's Danny, everybody. Women. How are you? Hi, Danny. Hi. Great to see you today.

last week we had a competition would you like to tell everybody who won that I would love to okay we had creepiest dentist last week and 55% of the vote goes to Vinnie Paulino good time somebody called Polino

he just got another win yo gotta give it up to the creepos so someone please compo Fuck you. I'll take that win. I'll take that point. I like having a win going into Hackamania, Carl. I should have brought my dentist.

I dropped the ball on that one. Yeah, you'd have to have one to bring them, Carl. Oh, stop it. What's your dentist's name, quick? His name is Dr. Rosen Rosen. Dr. Rosen, penis. Dr. Rosen Rose. Dr. Shut up, Carl.

Oh, Danny. Thank you so much for the good news. You look great today. How's everything going over there? Oh, good. Thank you. You know, dealing with kids on spring break so fun. Oh, that sucks.

Yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, it'll be better. Things will get better. Don't take any drastic measures. Danny, you got to stop being honest. You got to stop being honest about these things with us on the stream. I disagree. No, no.

She's got to be like, oh, I'm having the hardest time picking out lingerie for later. That's what you got to say. Don't say I'm dealing with kids on spring break. We got to. Danny, what is going on with your sex life? I mean, obviously you had the baby, what, a year ago now? Yeah. It's got to be tough, right?

Yeah, almost a year and a half. But it's going good. Yeah, for sure. Okay. Everything working as it should. That's good. Nice. I never pushed any kids out of my vagina, so that's nice.

Okay. No leaks. No leaks. Good. If you guys said anything spontaneous recently, like it on top of a roof somewhere or something like that? You guys go to church on Easter? That's a good question. No, no, we didn't.

The only problem with that is I have the baby constantly. Like, we don't have daycare or anything. I stay home with her. So there's not, no matter what. You got a bang in the backyard while she's on the swings. I got it. Right. Yeah.

Only when she's, like, taking a nap or something. Right. Right. Okay. Well, sorry to creep you out. Have a great rest of your day. Make sure you're following Danny on Instagram at Danny Desolation. And we will see you next week for some more results.

All right. Sounds good. Thanks, Danny. Bye, Danny. Oh, what a charming lady. I love her so much. Me too. I do.

I really do. And you know who else I love? I can guess. Is it me? Hell yeah. A hell yeah. Flip that sucker. What is going on?

What's happening in Malia? to see you. Good to see you too. I think there's some exciting news that we got to tell everybody. There is some exciting news beyond the fact that we are just days and I mean days away from Hacomania. I am pretty excited about that. I know.

We're going to see you at Haccamania for the creepoff live. Always fun hanging out with you at the Plaza Hotel. Now, uh, Mahalia, you want to tell everybody what the good news is? The good news. The good news is that we're going to be seeing somebody, somebody, probably a loser going down the zip line and not just going down the zip line, but in a kilt. And not only a kilt, but I heard rumor of a speedo as well.

A kilt and a speedo? Well, you can't wear the speedo over the kilt. I think you have to wear something under there, Carl, for modesty. What if they don't let me on? I'm assuming I'm going to lose. What do they don't let me on the zip line? Why? Because you have your feet in a kilk? Yes, exactly.

Because I'm wearing a kilt. What do they don't want me on the zip line? Then what do I do? I've personally never gone on a date with someone in a kilt on the zip line. Right. So we're going to have to all find out how that works. You think they'd say no to a woman in a dress? Can I wear cute stockings?

I would expect it. But you know, Carl. Yeah, I think that's part of the whole get-up is cute stockings required. Oh, all right. I'm not agreeing to cute stockings. Carl wants it too bad. I'm not agreeing to that. Because you got to remember people, this is a 50-50 shot at this.

Well, yeah, sure. I mean, this is a competition. Have confidence, stupid. That's true. We're going after it. We are going to be getting after it. And neither one of us really wants to do this. Well, when you asked me when I watch it in the studio today is,

are you afraid of heights? I said, no, I'm not afraid of heights. And my first thought was that thing at the stratosphere that, like, takes you over the adge or something like that? Yeah, no fucking way. And then he's like, all about... They've got some rides up there. Right, right. And then Vinny's like, how about you do a zip line

of the kilts? I was like, fuck you, man. What are we doing? We're going to put a show on for everybody at Hackamania, buddy. That's what we're doing. So no one's going to film this and put it on the internet though, right?

I mean, in a kilts. I think there's probably going to be spectators gathered around. Someone's going to film it. Cheering. Jesus Christ. Shearing and clapping. Yeah, we're cheering you on. You don't got to be nervous about this.

Yeah. Fortunately, I have no detractors. I've no. No detractors in this world, so I'll be fine. It's all good. Yeah. Why do they ever sign up to do this show with you? Because you didn't have detractors when you signed up.

It's true. Not like I do now. See, Carl used to be the cock of the lock. Now he's just the cock. He used to be the big rooster going through town. Everybody loves Carl. Everybody loves Carl's the name of this episode. And then I got exposed by Mersh.

You got exposed by that girl who found Opie sock accounts. There's going to be decent. Emily and Mersh combined took me down. God damn it. Still reeling from that. I don't know if I can do a show with you anymore. I'm embarrassed, frankly. Fine.

I can get a nap. Isn't that the point of the show? If we don't do a show, I'm going to have to do it. I can just nap. It would be great. Adult time to do the show that you care about. I got it. All right, behelia.

You're the greatest. We will see you at Hackamania. Where can everybody follow you? Other than this weekend at Hackamania, you can also, if you're a loser and embarrassed, that you're not going to be there. You can also find me on Instagram at Mahalya, but hope that I see you all this weekend.

All right. We'll see you then, my hell, yeah. Be good. Looking forward to it. Carl, it is a holiday today. Did you know that? I did know that. I've been celebrating it all morning.

It is Super Chat Monday. Well, let's start off with some big news. New member. Detatgal Tetagie 1 became a YouTube member. Thank you for that. I can't say your name, but thank you for joining us. It's not a name. Joseph Collins 628.

Thanks for the 999. I listened to the consequences. it works Saturday night. My condolences, Vinnie, I never want to think of Flintstone's vitamins again. Yeah, a lot of jokes about Flintstone's vitamins.

She did jokes about Happy Days, the television show. She did jokes about the Flintstones cartoon. It was still on air at the time, right, Happy Days? No, no,

at least a decade and a half off of the air at that point. Leverne and Shirley jokes. She's such a hack. It's like literally, dude, I said it during the live stream. Her entire act is member-bearer. Remember when?

When Fred Flintstone wanted to be a rock star? I am telling you, Rosie O'Donnell's career is based on people thinking they're going to see Roseanne Barr and they're going, oh, this is the other, oh, fuck, okay. This is the other fat one. Let's take the best of it. Here we go.

Oh, we got the unfunny fat one. Right, Roseanne Bar was actually a funny comic. Yes. Rose O'Donnell is a hack. You want to know something? I do. I saw, do you watch any of the Kill Tony stuff? I do, yeah.

Okay. Did you watch the latest special? from Texas. No, I did not. No. Okay, Roseanne's in it. Yep. And that bitch doesn't look like she even knows where she is.

Yeah, she's, uh, I actually revisit her podcast with her son. We were watching that when it first came out. She is out there, man. She is out there. Carl, she is fun. She is personally for me, like, a stand-up that I really loved. Like, I really love Roseanne. And she comes up to this mic, and she just looked like,

Is it this great to be here? Like, she didn't have a joke. She was just like, it was embarrassing. Whoa, what am I a hack? She's not a hack. How dare you? The real crumia... A hacky.

Why did you put that on your board? Did you put that on your board to fuck with me? What a hack. Hacka, hacker! I ain't gonna have it. Quick checkin. Everybody taking nap who needs one? I think Carl didn't get his.

John Zermite's member for six months. I really wanted to suffer with you, Vinny, but couldn't make it five minutes. Sorry, Vinnie. That was just awful. I mean, she stinks. Worst consequence ever. I am having a hard time deciding who was worse to watch, her, Tom Myers. And it might have been her. It might have been her. That shit just dragged on. Kid Caprazy five bucks. Vegas consequent. Loser has to wear the son-due medallion visible until they get back to Rochester. Would they let me on the plane? I'm not even sure they would. Dude, I think you should have to wear it on the zip line.

Oh, no. First ever zip-line death. First ever, I doubt it. And then let's check super tips, because I think we had some friends checking over there. Let me grab that. We appreciate that. Yeah, absolutely.

It's a lot to manage. I get it. I'm never awake for these as I'm a third shift Wegman's worker, but I really think y'all should reach out to Angry Cops Detention, Detective Richard H.Y, a Buffalo cop, who would be a perfect guest for this show. Thank you, Anonymous. I'm going to have to look into that.

Email us, yeah. I'll have to look into that. Holy shit, somebody finally did it. Somebody used our new Super Tip voice, Carl. It's in our bloody Labran Mystic. Fuck it. I've spent 10 minutes trying to send a funny Super Tip, but one of the words is banned.

I'm not even sure what. Bar name? Whatever. See you guys in Hackermania. Might not make it for Thursday. We'll see you, Levern Mystic. So Rick James' voice is available at supertip. gg slash creep and

Vinnie fuck I forgot what I was going to ask you about Do you have the image search turned on for that? Yeah, people could use image. Okay, so you can also send us an image chat. We appreciate that very much. Yep, you could send images.

You could send, you know, whatever the fuck. Money mainly. Just money, if you don't mind. Be real. Yeah, just send us money. Carl, it's time for competition. It is a wild card round. we could bring whatever type of creep we want.

Ring that bell and let's get after it. I had a hard time with these wildcard ones because I sock away shit that I see that's particularly heinous that doesn't necessarily fit into a category I'm going to get to. Why do you have a hard time then if you have guys on the ready? Picket. Yeah. There's so much.

Too many creeps. There's just so many. This one is a special one. And I'm actually going to do something I don't think I've done very often on the show, but something you've done multiple times, multiple creeps. Oh. I am bringing in my nomination for Wildcar Creep. Normally, they would be the creepiest mother-son duo.

Interesting. Who I'm going for today. So let's talk a little bit about it. My dog is asleep on the panel to switch the thing. There we go. This is Alexander Nikolavich Spesvstrav. His friends called him Sasha. And Sasha was born in 1970 in Siberia, Carl.

USSR. Nice place to visit. Yeah, he was a runt born underweight and frequently ill as a child. His father was an abusive alcoholic who didn't care for him, his mother, or his other daughter. You already told me he's Russian. Yeah. His mother, this is her, by the way, my other creep today, Ludvilla. Wait, her last day was villain?

That makes sense. Ludmilla, I think it is. She worked at a local school and in the local district attorney's office. She was very affectionate towards Alexander because he was her time. little runt boy. This is my tiny little baby boy. They had a very codependent thing going on. And she's kind of,

she would fit in in today's society quite well because she was a big true crime buff. And a communist. Yes, a big communist true crime buff. In fact, she, while working for the DA's office, would spend a lot of time reading over files of cases that involved murder, death and gory things, She would take things home.

And you know what she would read to her little son, Sasha, before he would go to bed? What's that? Crime scene statistics and crime stories and files from the office and show him absolutely gory fucking things. That's probably not great. By age 12, this kid had a nervous fucking breakdown, Carl, and I'm not even kidding you.

They fucking locked him up. He would talk about murder and death all the time. He was fucking nuts. And his mom was just like, oh, there's a new case today. look, this is what girl's head's missing. Come sit down. Sasha, let's read a book. So, somebody parents don't read to their kids anymore, you know?

Yeah. It's good that she was a good mother. Now, did I mention that they shared a bed till he was 15? Ugh. Should I throw that in there? I don't like that. Yeah, he was very unsocial, Carl. He didn't have any friends.

He dropped out of school at age 17, and he went to go work in a mill. He got himself a little apartment, and by 1991, he's 21 years old. He's living by himself. and he's out walking a dog and he meets a 17-year-old girl named a Virginia. They start hanging out together, and you know what? She becomes the closest thing he ever had to a girlfriend. Even though all of her friends are like, they weren't dating. But in his mind, they were together, Carl.

Well, she talked back at him when he talked to her. Right. And they hung out. Like, she would come to his apartment and hang out. And one day, things got a little weird. And she went over there and said, hey, man, I don't really think we should talk anymore. I think we need to just go our separate ways. And that's when he chained the door. Yeah.

You want to do that over text, I think, with a guy like this. Yeah. And over the next three weeks, he systematically cut and tortured her, keeping her alive. Now, she's 17 years old, and her parents also didn't like her very much. So she had kind of a rocky home life. And she was missing for three weeks before her parents decided like, oh, yeah, where the fuck is of Virginia? It's 17. And Soviet Union, yeah, you go find your own way.

So they reported her missing, right? And the cops go, oh, whatever much you be? And they mention this kid's house. So they go over there and they find her change the fuck up with fucking gangrenous fucking shit from these cuts because his apartment was disgusting. She has infections all over her body. She's still barely alive. She's fucking green and white and pale. They get her out of there and take her to the hospital.

And guess what, Carl? She dies of sepsis. That sounds fun. Not really. No, not really. He gets committed to a psych ward for this. He's already been in the psych ward. That helped him.

The first go around in the psych ward helped him not go to jail forever. Had they just locked his ass up. Right. Aren't there prisons in Siberia? Siberia? Yes, I believe they might be a couple. Yeah, I think there's a couple. I think that's actually their cottage industry, Siberian prison camps.

So instead of sending into one of those, he gets locked up in the Nudhut. And he's in there until 1991. one. So not that long, like 10 months, something like that. And somehow he convinced them that he was sane enough to be released. And this is how good the system was in the USSR. When they released him, they did not notify the local police or the court system that they were going to release him. Smart. The hospital just let him go. Under the condition that he moved back in with his mom. Oh, good. Yeah. She's great. All right. Awesome. Yeah. So she's so he could be supervised.

So now he's back with Ludmilla, living at her house. They decide to get a dog together. They got a nice little Doberman, which is nice. But during the next, you know, five years, they spiral into a level of depravity that actually makes me blush. Okay. See, Alex, with the assistance from his mother, started luring street children and homeless teenagers and young women often runways into their apartment. victims were tortured, raped, stabbed, and killed. And then body parts were taken, and his mom would cook them up for them to eat together.

Okay. That's not great. No, no. They would dismember the parts of the bodies and they would throw all their parts into the river. Were they poor? They weren't great. I mean, who's hiring the fucking guy who's been in the nut hut twice? Right.

Is that why they're eating people? Just, you know, they couldn't get real food? I couldn't tell you, Carl. Yeah. But on October, in October of 1996, plumbers entered the apartment after reports of issues with the plumbing. When they came in,

they found a 15-year-old girl named Alia Gastiva still alive with multiple stab wounds to her stomach and her chest on the couch bleeding out. You got to clean that shit up before the plumber shows up, man. Come on. Right. You would think so. You would think.

Well, the cops start asking this poor little girl, what happened? Did you trip and fall on a knife, honey? And she goes, no. No, officer. See, this lady lured me, over here, me and my two 13-year-old friends, and they held us here for days. They killed the other two, and they kept me alive.

She died 17 hours later. So, Vinnie, this is a true story. Tomorrow I have people coming over to recarpet my studio. And, you know, one of the things I'm going to do between now and then is I'm going to get rid of the cage that I leave Jenny Jingles in. I'm going to let her out. We're going to get the cage out of there. Yep.

Because there's people. It's about time. She really wants to be. She gets stir crazy. She doesn't deserve it. We're just getting the basement new carpeting, so I can't have her down there. Are you going to put down new hamster betting? Someone might alert the authorities, is my point.

I mean, you got to be smart about this kind of shit. Yeah, they weren't expecting the plumbers, really, the problem. Yeah, okay. So they go into the cops show up and they start looking through this house, Carl. And inside of this bathtub is where they found the 13-year-old two girls, both of them missing their heads. Okay. And their heads were found in the tank of the toilet.

Oh. He took the back off. Yeah, yeah. It had two 13-year-old girls' heads just floating in there, like the bobber. That's fun. Not really. It's not great. And then they found...

This is all made up, right? You made all of this other? No, I did not. This is shit that happened. And they found the dog was chewing on human ribbones. I see. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. The mother and the son were both arrested, and he was convicted of only four murders, a psychiatric evaluation determined he was legally insane and in 1999 was ruled not criminally responsible. Instead of prison, he was committed to involuntary treatment at a psychiatric hospital where he is still to this day. The case continued to evolve decades later by last year. The court established his involvement in 15 more murders, 11 of them children. And these are all fucked up murders, Carl. Yeah. They, I mean, they're cooking people and even. them together for like it's Sunday dinner.

No, after the rapes and murders, after the flip-flopping. Sure. I mean, if you're the mother, you really want to eat the meat, your kid just had sex with? No. These two are the creepiest people that have ever existed. And if you're not voting for me, you're out of your mind. He initially confessed to 19 murders, Carl, but he later recanted that. And they believe from evidence that they found, such as multiple sets of blood-soaked clothing

in the apartment, they didn't have the bodies to go along with that, but they think there is at least 80 victims or so. Wow. Yeah. His mother was convicted as an accomplice in three of the murders, and she only got 13 years. Interesting. Yeah. She was released in 2008. Oh, good. So she's free right now?

Nobody knows where she is. She changed your name and is out there free, running around, cooking up meat. Nice. Doing whatever she's got to do. She's opened up Airbnb or a better breakfast, I should say. Yeah, maybe. So I would really appreciate it this week, folks. If we could keep this windstreet going when you go to

patreon.com backslash the creep off of you out for your buddy Vinny. I truly appreciate it. Well, let's not go there just yet. Because I also brought a creep, Vinny, in our wild card around. My creep comes out of Great Britain. Kenneth Erskine, born to a British mother and Antiguan father. If you want to pull up a photo of him here, is this the photo you'd like to see? Either one will do. Yeah, there he is. There's Ken right there. It's a nice picture of him.

Ken had three brothers. He was abandoned by both parents during his childhood, tended to various special schools. On a field trip on one of these special schools, he tried to drown one of his classmates. Where did they take them that day? I don't know, somewhere where there's water. Right. So he tried to drown his classmate.

And so he was kicked out of school. He became homeless. So he started this life of crime. He's just becoming a burglar. So wait, he got kicked out of school, so his parents kicked him out of the house too? No, no, he was already out of the house. Okay, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The parents abandoned him. Got it. So he starts a life of crime. He's, you know, just breaking into people's houses, stealing stuff. He's able to open up 10 different bank accounts with all of the cool shit he's stealing. He's making some money. Nice.

Fortunately, he gets caught and he goes to prison. Uh-oh. Okay. So he did his time. He gets let out. And when he got out, in 1986, he decided to start having a little bit more fun. And, you know, he's still a burglar. But he also, like, getting high on solvents, like paint thinners.

and glue. So he's having a good old time. Well, he seems fun, at least. So he'd break into the homes of elderly people, strangle them, sexually assault them, and then steal their stuff. It started with Nancy M. 78 years old on April 9th, 1986. He was 22 at this time, by the way. Ah, so he's like you. She was so, yeah, exactly. She was so old. People just assumed it was natural causes until someone who checked on her regularly, like a house nurse or something,

comes in and goes, hey, the TV is missing. And they went, oh, yeah, that's weird. So they, like, did an examination. They're like, oh, she was raped and strangled. Oh, okay. Well, that's weird. Not great. We're talking about 86.

They didn't know. Janet Crockett, 67 years old, was the next victim on June 9th. Again, they thought it was natural causes. How many days in between? So this first one, we're looking at two months. Okay. It starts to increase after that. Okay, okay.

Again, they thought it was natural causes and further investigating. They determined, oh, she was strangled. And they found his... What a late... These medical exams are so late. They're like, they're old. It was their tie. Whatever who cares?

She got tangled up in her knitted. Right. By the way, he left his palm print on the window at that house. Right out of her forehead. It's kind of stupid. June 28th, he killed his third and fourth victims. Listen to this. Valentin Gleam, 84 years old.

And Zimbwee Straboeva, 94. Both men... How do you spell those? names? I'll get back to have that. Both men were sexually assaulted and strangled. So this guy doesn't care what he's putting his dick in.

Okay. On July 8th, William Carmen, 84 years old, was the fifth victim. Ken stole money from his own before molesting him and strangling him to death. Can I just say, Carl, I don't want to shame him for that because I believe that you shouldn't shame rapists

and murders over their sexual preferences. You know, it's just not something you should shame people for it's 2026 right yeah grow up yeah stop stop picking on july 21st fucking murderer victim number six was william downs who was sodomized and strangled on july 23rd a caretaker found florence tisdale 83 years old a widow dead in her mansion she'd been strangled and raped ken was arrested on july 28th police were able to match his pomp print to the one at janet crockett's house also 74 year old fred prenton picked him up out of a lineup because he'd broken into his house a month before that tried to rape him.

But Fred was like not having it. So then they brought Fred in. He's like, yep, that's the guy right there. Okay, that's not great. So police suspected four other murders in June and July, all guys in their 70s and 80s. In each case, it appeared the killer, had knelt on the victim's chest, and then placed his left hand over their mouths while he used his right hand to grip their throats and stringle him to death. the victims had also been sodomized and there is some uncertainty

listen to this many they're not really sure which happened first whether they were murdered or sadomized I gotta be honest with it's probably easier to murder him first yeah I would think so he's not a big guy

yeah so very possible that he's murdering people raping him and then robbing them and taking all their stuff who wants to deal with old people poop what is wrong with this guy that's true that's the first thing that happens What's fucking wrong with this guy? He was convicted on all seven murders during his trial.

Benny. Okay. He was jerking off in the courtroom. They're reading back what he did. He's like, oh, yeah, I remember that. William? Oh, yeah. Guilty.

I got a big old rod on that one. He was determined that kind of had chronic schizophrenia and antisocial personality disorder. Yikes. I know people like that. And this has probably been the case since March of 1980. In July of 20, 2009, following an appeal, Ken's murder convictions were reduced to manslaughter on the grounds of diminished responsibility. Really?

Yeah. They're like, oh, well, you know, he was going through it. He's raping old people's butts. He was just going through Southern reality. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know, he had that personality disorder. So when are you going to go out of him? All right.

Listen, I'm going to indulge the pores for a second. His reviews are as bad as Scarlet Hampton. Yes. Dirty old assholes. Right. Gross. Last thing I'll tell you about this gentleman. Ken Erskine is that in 1996,

he's in like one of these mental hospitals for convicts. And he actually saved a fellow serial killer. This guy, Peter Sutcliffe, an inmate tried to strangle him to death. And Ken got involved with, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, this is my buddy. You can't murder Peter. Okay. So he saved Peter's a guy, by the way, who murdered 13 women attempted to murder seven other women. Oh, so he's not really a hero for that.

He's 75 and 80. He's helping serial killers while also murdering and raping old people. That's my creep this week. Go vote for Carl, Ken Erskine, the Stockwell Strangler, and you can vote over at patreon.com slash the creepoff. Do you have a closing argument, Carl? Yeah. In closing, fuck Vinnie.

I would like to add, Carl is a douchebag who hates all of you. What? He hates everybody, all of you. Since when? I don't know. Just trying to talk shit. How dare you, sir. The super tips are coming in.

All right. The super tips are coming in. It's getting caught up. It's the Super Chat Monday. Here we go. Faggartree. Vinny, you pink hat sim. That's that word.

Howard Chat and the boy is supposed to meet up at the local Fagatry and talk about fagotry activities if you block the words. Man, fuck you couch. I don't have any words blocked that I know. Oh, I was going to say, this is what I was going to say before and I lost my turn of thought when Llammissick said that. So there's a toggle in Supertip where you can go to least amount. of whatever the terminology is.

I had to do that in mine. I don't think it's set at that by default. Okay, I'll look into it. Look into that because, yeah, there might be words blocked that we don't care about. Hey, say whatever the fuck you want on this show. Carl, our buddy Hunter Duke sent in a image. Nice.

I think it's perfect. I'm wearing my hamburger shorts. That's hilarious, actually. I can't wait to see this and send to the guy that does what you see at Free Bud Street clips. Vote Vinny. Thank you, buddy. Guys, would it be hilarious if Benny had to do this? Look at how cocky.

He thinks it's going to be me doing the zip line on Fremont Street in the kilt, but wouldn't it be really funny if it was actually Vinny? Who had to do that? Folks, I'll be glad to do it. I'll be glad to do it. I'll take my consequence on the chin. But it's funny because Carl really doesn't want to. Oh, stop it.

John's right. You do say things kind of gay sometimes. What did you say to me? Oh, stop it. Yeah. That was it. Okay. Let's see this one.

One more coming in. Hey, when you're doing the clothes line, Wait, what is it? Zipline? Yeah. Closline. When you're doing the, the zip line, is it okay to, like,

J.O. over Fremont Street? Look, he fucking nutted all my fucking leg. Can we recreate? Fuck, yeah. Can we recreate that? Yes, absolutely. All right.

Anonymous, thanks for the five bucks. When Vinnie's creep said he liked eating girls out, he really meant it. That's correct. See what you did? Because he's a cannibal. Oh. We got some super chats as well, I believe.

We sure do, buddy. I really wanted to, okay, we got that one. King Caprazy, there we go. Vegas Consequence, son of Daly. We got that. Joseph Collins, I would rather drink a bottle of extreme hot sauce than hear Rosie speak. Me too, buddy. Agreed.

Deep Space Moonrocks. Vin, sorry, I can't make it to Stochos show on April 8th at Rochester. Break a leg, Johnny Boy. Oh, hey, Carl. Oh, hey, Deep Space Moon Rocks. Yeah, I don't think John's performing at the comedy at the Carlson. Yeah, I responded to that the other day on Twitter. Very simply.

Come see Scott Thompson. Are you kidding me? I'll be here. Scott fucking Thompson is going to be here. Buddy, I'm here for it. We're going to go fucking deal with John's bullshit. I know. He's so stupid.

Oh, no, we had all problems in the past. Bro, you were in breach of your contract with us. You bailed on it. You're not coming back, bro. He goes, I'll definitely sell out. He sold 20 tickets to where was he in Pennsylvania? And half the people had to drive from Rochester who were dabblers to go see him. I don't know for them to sell that many.

You know, nobody asked my opinion during the whole Rodney Gate thing. But what I would have said to John very simply is, no, John, you do not sell out anything. The dabbleverse sells out. The dabbleverse itself is what does it. It ain't you, John. Nobody's nobody who remembers you from the Howard Stern Show, even if they remember you fondly, is going, I got to shell out the cash to go see him at this point. If they do a simple Google search. Yeah.

Megan, our review girl, is in the chat. She also wants to zip line. Yeah, I mean, if you want to wear a skirt or something or a dress, I'm here for it. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. All right, buddy, I think it's time for one of our favorite segments. I can't wait to see calls, Cox, can fight with the cops for no reason.

Will you please show me calls, cause cops. This cop cam. Lose all your rights. Ruin your life. This cop cam today comes in from our very first results girl, Jess. What? Yes. I was messaging with Jess recently because I'd love to get her back on the show.

I said, you should come back sometime. Pop in. Give us an update on your parents and they're swinging. We want to hear about what's going on with those two horn dogs. Yeah, I'm pretty sure we covered a couple of their stories. They're swinging incidents on the show. Right. So I wanted to get her back on.

She's not at the bank anymore, but she does have a real job. But hopefully one of these days will be a holiday or something she can pop on. Sounds like fun. Well, anyway, she is still watching cop cams for us. She's still giving us suggestions. We appreciate that. This one's pretty fucking wild. This guy is running from the police and he is flying.

We're talking about over 130 miles per hour. Get the fuck out. Nice. When a trooper noticed a vehicle with illegal window tinting, He attempted to catch up to the vehicle, but it accelerated to well over 100 miles per hour, hinting at the absolute mayhem that would quickly follow. That cap won't chase me if I go around to the truck. Did you see, they pointed out in the video, that he used his blinker?

He used his blinker to go on the shoulder of the road and pass the truck again. You don't have to worry about that. It probably won't be added to the list of charges. You're not add that to the charges officer. Now, I'll be, all right. I'm going to apologize right now for the audio listeners. Okay. This is more of a visual one.

I like the ones where they're arguing with the cops and stuff, but this one's pretty wild. So we'll just explain what's going on. So this guy sees the cop behind him for window tint, whatever. And just decides to floor it. So he's just driving recklessly, trying to get away. And I call this next one. Now you see me.

Now you don't. So he pulled out A cop pulled out A head of the suspect to try to slow him down He's been involved to police He was a cop's dad Smart He busted a U-turn

And now he's back on the road The cop fell for it Holy shit That's brilliant That was a brilliant maneuver right there Holy shit This guy deserves his freedom If I'm the cop I just go

All right got me He's pulling some moves Fair and square son And by the way, my clip number three, this is like video game maneuvers. This is very impressive. Check this out. It's a case in my assla. The other cops trying to get him.

Nope. Not so fast. Look by him. These cops are all trying to cut him off, but he's just screaming by the ball. This guy's a good driver. He is. What is that? Is that a Nissan Z or something?

I couldn't even tell what it is. It is kind of a sports car. It might be a, I think it's a luxury vehicle. Okay. If I'm not mistaken. Yeah, I really couldn't tell. It flies. But if anybody knows in the chat, please tell me if you know.

Yeah, we'll see. Because I'm buying one tomorrow. Yeah, we'll see what it is because he won't be running forever. Once I get back from Vegas, I'm buying two. Here comes another impressive move, in my opinion. Watch how he comes to this intersection, almost gets hit. And the cop has to stop and he gets away. Oh, fucking awesome.

I don't root for the criminals like this, but this guy fucking rules. He's killing it. He's killing it. He comes to the red light. And boom. Left on red. And there goes the car truck. Whoa.

After chasing. Holy shit. It's more than a half dozen cops chasing this guy. And he's just making maneuver after maneuver cutting through that intersection, just missing that pickup truck that was going through. Tuki's unpaid staff says it looks like an infinity. Might be. Yeah, that could be it.

Okay. So finally, there's a crash. His luck runs out. He's pulling out these amazing maneuvers for a while. Finally, it catches up to him. You need a year north-out. Oh, crashing into each other. It's mayhem.

It's absolutely mayhem right here. That was like a civilian that was cutting him off. They forced him to teeble in that other car. Did you see that? Yes. That's crazy. That's really dangerous. Don't get involved, guys.

Get out of the way. You know, someone's trying to go over from the cops. One of heaven's day. People are saying it's Infinity G35. I will buy one tomorrow. Yeah. Let's go get matching ones, Carl. Yeah, we go ahead in the couch for a while.

I like that. Dude, if the two of us were working together, they never catch us. We get caught so quick. Plus, immediately when one of us got caught, we'd be like, oh, Vinnie Paulino. That's his name. Carl Heaburger, A.G. Yeah, exactly. He told me to the bus immediately.

I know our relationship. He made me. I know what our relationship has on here. He also touched me. And he knew. He knew about ESA. Again, this doesn't translate great to audio, but my clip six is just pure chaos.

All right. Sorry, guys. Okay, so the guy's on foot. Now they're bringing in, all the cops are driving their SUVs up a hill into a wooded area. And the dude's on foot. This cop's just going to run them over.

He's literally chasing him down. in the SUV. Dude, and he didn't leave his car in parks, and the car's just drifting off. Cops are going the wrong way, trying to get to him. Everything about this is so dangerous.

This is the Eddie Pepitone camera. Everything about this is so fucking dangerous. That is cool that they keep switching back and forth between different cop cams. But, so you see, like, he's running through a field. They're driving and chasing,

and he's running into more traffic, and they're trying to go the wrong way to get to him from that way. way. Dude, this, remember a week or two ago on our bonus show? I played a clip of a cop tasing a guy in the busy street. Carl, I'm still haunted by it. Yes.

Well, check this out. My clip number seven, almost the same thing happens. They never learn. He's down. There's 18 wheelers. Oh, no. Oh! He just got away. Holy shit.

Okay. So this dude was lying in the road when an 18 wheeler is barely down on him he just barely was like we're talking a foot we're talking this truck and 18 wheeler miss this guy by a foot and then the cops are like just driving right in between all the traffic to get to him this seems like against protocol right there's no way they should be doing this when you're just chasing somebody down i don't think they care so much about the rules it's like have fun boys do what you got to do this is one of those days everybody's happy they went into work right that's true you don't want to be the guy who had the day off like Oh, fuck.

What did I miss? And the truck almost got him by how much? So, this, you saw that the dog was that, right? They're the K-9 unit. Yeah.

This dog is fucking useless. Now, I didn't even pull the clip, but earlier the dog bit one of the cops that he was so excited. So then, they're like,

okay, calm down, buddy. So then they get him to chase after this, uh, perp. Watch what happens in this next clip,

okay. Squirrel. Squirrel. Here, here, pets, pets, pets, pets, pets, pets. So this dog is chasing after this. This dog didn't even go, didn't even look like he wanted to get him. He just saw something else. Yeah, just said the strategy just ran off.

It's just someone's house pet they brought to work that day? What state did this happen in? I do not know the answer to that. I'm going to take a guess as to what state this happened in. I'm going to guess this happened in Alabama. And I'm going to judge. Oh, I think you're right. You know why I'm going to say that?

Because the dog's name was Sabin. Yeah. I think you're right. I think it's Alabama near Florida. Yeah. Florida, Alabama, man. Chipley. All right, so for whatever reason, they have the guy down. You see it right here. There's multiple cops. They have him down. He's detained. But they let the dog bite him anyway.

Oh, good. Just like, go get him. Get a dog bite him. Come over here, Saban. Yep. Get his snack. Hold him. 1626. Okay, so the dog bite him. Shut up. Okay, so the cops are saying call EMS for a dog bite.

The dog had his whole mouth wrapped around part of this guy. We can't tell which part. Yeah, he was biting into his arm right there, which is completely unnecessary, in my opinion. But I guess they're just like, well, you know, you earned it. I mean, there's four of us here holding him down. Might as well train the dog a little. Well, this poor guy, he's just having a good time, providing some amazing content for all of us. And now he's got a dog bite, and he's very hurt.

And he can't get into the cop car because of this injury that he just has stayed in my clip 10. Listen, I know your arm hurts, but I got to get you in my truck. I need to back my truck up out of the road. We'll hop up in there. No, you may not. You're done? You done, you're done ran. Listen, here's the thing.

I'm either going to put you up in there or you're going to get up in there. That is your choice. But I got to get my truck out of the road. And that's that work. I'll be on items. The last year you're leg worked just fine. They ran. The dog didn't bite you on legs.

Step up in there. So it's very funny. This guy's just like, oh, come on, man. I'm not going to get up there. I'm hurt. That dog bit me. This guy's looking for another chance to run, isn't it? He's being a little pussy boy, if you ask me.

A barahosa. He's just trying to not get in the back of the truck so he could get a shot at running away again. That could be true. This guy, he's an escape artist, man. This is fucking Houdini. Well, he claims to be in a lot of pain and agony in my next clip. He wants mercy.

My arm, man. Please, somebody help me, man. I want to y'all help me, man. Please, I can get spry out or some air, man? Please, my arm is dying. Come on, man, can they hurry up, please, bro? My arm, I don't want my shit to be paralyzed, bro. Please, can I help?

Come on, man. My shit ain't hurt, bro. I can't barely move it, man. Come on, help me. Can I just get out and stretch it, bro. Please, I want to be stuck. Come on, man. Please help me, help me, help me, come on, man.

Just do yourself right, Dale. Come on, come on, come on, man. Just help me out, bro, please. Hmm. This is the same guy who was doing all that daredevil shit, driving like a maniac? What is he wasn't bit by a dog then? Yeah, he's coming off kind of shitty now. I was like, yeah, I was rooting for you, man.

Now you're being a little bitch. That's too bad. In fact, he's even crying in my clip 12 here. Well, you get bit by a dog and see how you like it. Come on, come on, man. Please help me out Oh, my arm! Please, I have been a banditance.

No ambulance. Got a lot of guns. All right. All right. So then they're searching his car. They're like, oh, this guy's got a lot of guns. They found some dope. They found a ton of guns. Rout row.

Yeah, so my last clip on here are the charges. The suspect identified as 23-year-old Isaiah Colley was transported to a local hospital and cleared for booking at Escambia County Jail. A search of his vehicle yielded a duffel bag in the front seat of Isaiah's vehicle, containing a bag of 6.6 grams of marijuana, a Glock, an AK-style rifle, a drum-style magazine for the AK, and 110 rounds of 7.62 ammo. Multiple other boxes of ammunition were also found throughout the vehicle. Isaiah was charged with felony fleeing with disregard to safety, possession of marijuana

a less than 20 grams, resisting arrest without violence, leaving the scene of an accident, and reckless driving. The charge of reckless driving was later dropped. A judge set his bond for each count, which totaled $65,000. Isaiah was released on bond, and his case was working through the system when he was arrested again on December 4, 2023. This time for murder and attempted murder. Great.

I'm glad the bond system was really working out very well for us in this country. Well, he did kill that car chase pretty good. I'll tell him that. So he gets let out as this case is pending and he just burglars someone. Also, he later bragged that he was Internet famous. This was getting viral. He was just like, I'm Interrepamous, bitch. It's how excited for himself.

Who do you think had more disregard for people's safety here? This guy or the cops that were chasing him? Dude, that's a great question. Because it seems like an unfair thing to charge this guy with after what we just watched. Yep. I mean, one of them caused it, but I know what you're saying. There were a lot more SUVs on the road swerving it out of traffic. Uh, hurt and pink sock.

Thanks for the 10 bucks. He said, seen this of it a while ago, should have pulled a clip of the dog latching onto the other officer. Also in that clip, another officer almost rolled the Tahoe cruiser over that hillside. Yeah. No, I know. The dog bit the wrong purse. It was really dumb.

I would have liked to see that. All right. Well, take my word for it, I guess. All right. Carl, guess what time it is? Uh, voicemail. The creep-off voicemail segment is brought you by the city of Syracuse.

30% of all rabbits sold this Easter season in Syracuse have tested positive for rabies. A new record low. See you in Syracuse. That's not too bad. Congratulations. All right. Here we go. Blackbread here, and I got a suggestion.

Biggest creep who self-immolated. And for those of you in the audience who don't know, I know there's quite a few of you. That means, you know, setting yourself on fire. So the only rules here is you can't pick the free Palestine guy. I don't remember what his name is. But it should be interesting. So the biggest creep to set themselves on fire. That's not bad.

That'd be a fun one. Michael Jackson and that Kepa's a car show. That's not bad. That's pretty good. Okay. Podcast Prophet. Hello, sir. Hey, boys.

Podcast Prophet, Your Holy Spirit is speaking through me. I read a scary statistic the other day And I said that half Of the population suffers from mental health disorders The other half were men Yep Anyways Carl you got to like You just beat Vinny

Annie Spenny Winnie Vinny Vennie fuck you Uh Enjoy your What was it? Rosie O'Donnell fucking DVD Anyways But you kind of phoned it in this week man Like come on

Oh also something that makes me a rage people who like Rastafarian music it fucking sucks especially like the white band fucking Rastafi music where they do like covers of good songs but they do that boom Tick-a-ch-to-boom

Okay Red, red wine You don't like UB-40? I saw them live in Buffalo I'm not gonna lie they were really good but I hate reggae

It's the most boring fucking music Yeah I know I'm not a stoner so maybe that's why It's just it never changes It's just the same shit the whole time I'm like okay Yeah I can't handle like a lot of it At all like every now and again

You hear a Bob Marley sign You're like oh this is pleasant That's about it's fine it's fine It's not anything I need to listen to Exactly right Yeah it's not making the playlist Now you want to put some Rick James on No we're talking

Hey boys by guess private area My bad It's enough enough of you Hey Carl I signed up for the Hackamania streaming package I haven't received my password How do I contact Patrick Melton? Thank you.

Fuck you, bye. You don't. Patrick Melton is out of commission. If you need to get a hold of Patrick, you're going to need a very, very large box, a stick, and a plate of donuts. A string. A string or an animal carcass.

You can put an animal carcats under the same deal. If you're on Axe, he's at P. Melt. At P. Melt. There's one way to get in touch with them. I might just use the contact form on hackomania.com. I'd probably just use that would be the real advice. He does a super tip him if you feel so inclined that you can do that too. Okay, here we go.

Hey, Ronnie in Syracuse listening to the Friday bonus gum stream. And Vinnie was saying he went to Miss Cleo to get his shoulder realigned because he dislocated it 20 years ago and had all this pain. And Carl asked him, didn't you feel like I said, no, I led a sedimentary lifestyle. Vinny, what the hell is a sedimentary lifestyle? Try again. Thank you. It's sedentary, sir. Is that the right word?

Did I say it right that time? I don't know. I didn't call you out of it. So there's that. Either way, my shoulder feels great. Yay. Go see Ms. Cleo. It's exciting.

She's a voodoo witch, but she's great. You feel good on the zip line then. You'll be good. Oh, I'm ready to go, man. I'm ready to go, but I plan on bringing it hard at Hackamania, man. Okay. That's what I do. Hey, by the way,

Yes. Added to the itinerary for Hackamania for the live show, there will be a very, very special Hall of Famer Update. Oh. Yeah, yeah, I'm adding that to our show. We got a little extra time this year. Can you say who? Oh, yes, I can.

There are some very, very interesting new documents and allegations coming out in the Janelle Grant Vince McMahon case. Yes. There is going to be quite the Vince McMahon update. Can't wait for that. Yeah, apparently Miss Grant has explained to the court the way that Vince was trying to help her get ready for her play date with Brock Lesnar. So us be there for that in Hackmania. You simply have extra time?

How long do we have to fill for Patrick's fucking event? What do you say? Like three hours we have to do? Jesus cry. I mean, I can't. I'm not doing three hours. I know. I know.

But we're not fun. So that's all the voicemails I got, unless you have any. I don't. All right. Well, then let's fucking get after it with this here scum scream. I got to listen to the scum parade. With darts and murder, drugs and jay walking. You'll hear a bad guy who fucked his done.

Is this week I want to tell you something, Carl. I was delighted to learn something. Okay. With this week's scum parade, something I did not think. Oh, no. Did you know that in Thailand? It is illegal to eat dogs. Yeah, I learned something, too.

I learned that Thailand and Korea are different places. Totally different countries, apparently. Very much so. Yeah. It turns out that on April 2nd, a Facebook post led police to a home where officers found a gentleman cooking a dog, 49-year-old guy named Gok. Are you sure this wasn't on Park Abbot, it's Cheshwan Opera?

Because I was just there last week, and I'm pretty sure that's where they're cooking dog. Yeah, when you see the guy walking out, just toss a collar into the trash cat. Right, that's a problem. Central Opera is great sometimes. I like that place. Don't tell me this. That's good. I'm fucking looking.

When questioned the suspect reportedly admitted the meat came from a dog, according to the officers, Gawkes said the animal had died after being hit by a vehicle, and he claimed the dog's owner had asked him to bury it and offered him a bottle of local white liquor in return. But he said, you know what, I'll take the booze, I'll bury your dog. But then he decided to go home and cook it in a pot. This story makes no sense. So there's a roadkill, right? Yeah.

This guy's beloved pet dies. Yeah. And he goes, hey man, we bury this thing for me, please. Yeah. First off, why? It doesn't make any sense. Oh, come on. And secondly, he's just like, well, I will if I can get drunk doing it.

It's like, all right, fine, here's some liquor. Go for it. Yeah. I don't buy this story. He knew that it was against the law, but he said, I did kill the animal. I didn't kill the animal, and that was his whole defense. Either way. Isn't it against a lot of the show dog meat?

Why is it so pixelated? What would dog meat look like? Oh, no. Is that it's cooked dog? Yeah. All the good cameras in Thailand are at the hotels. Oh, okay. That makes sense.

You know. Okay. Moving on. Let's go to Missouri, Carl. The way he got caught, though, was from this fucking online Karen tagging the authorities on Facebook. That's like centering John level moves. Oh, I got to let ABC radio know.

Anthony Coombe is cooking a dog. Also, they bring up the guy's, which I don't think is related to this at all. Yeah, he was doing some math. Yeah, I didn't appreciate the fact that meth's getting a bad rap for this. Yeah, again, as the official spokesperson for meth, Carl has an opinion. Yes, meth is great. Use it responsibly, kids.

You must be 21 years or older. This next story is pretty. Hackamia, if you got meth, bring me math at Hakimania. Do not bring Carl meth at Akamania unless it's right before he goes on the zip line. That would be the fun. Oh, that's fun. That's a good idea. Okay.

Okay. I'm into it. Yeah. Great. Wait, that was acid. Oh! Sorry, man. Oh, boy. You know what? I'm actually, I got these backwards.

I'm going to do this story first. Okay. A majority man is behind bars after he ripped the skin off of a woman's neck in a dispute over food. This guy looks serious. This is Stephen Wolfe. He's 25 years old. He stands accused of one count of assault in the first degree after serious physical injury. The underlying incident occurred on March 30th at his house.

An officer was dispatched to the residence around 6 p.m. In response to a report of an assault. The reporting party was an employee at the residence. It's like a group home who called the police. after a coworker had been attacked by one of the residents. The probable cause statement says, there was an injury to a fresh tattoo and the parties were separated.

Both parties were separated by the time the cops got there. This woman had a large laceration on her throat about three inches tall and stretched the entire length of her throat. Yeah, yeah. The tattoo was actually a target. Yeah. She regrets that.

She's like, oh, I shouldn't have done that. She was like peeling off her fucking tattoo off the side of this woman's neck. Like he was rolling up. a piece of paper. He's just pulling it off. Like a Christmas present. I don't think that's how tattoos works, but sure.

There was a copious amount of blood. Was it a stick-on tattoo? What do you mean? No, he grabbed her skin and pulled, and it was taking the skin off with the tattoo. That is true. Which, do you get your money back? What is the warranty on that tattoo?

Do you have to return it? I would imagine. Here it is. As the interview with the woman went on, the victim described making dinner for the defendant when signals got violently mixed. She said she had cooked dinner for the residence. and the probable statement goes on to say that he was upset and told her the macaroni and cheese she made belong to him.

Yeah, this guy looks like he'd take mac and cheese very seriously. See, she cooked the macaroni and cheese from one of the other residents, but it was his mac and cheese. Yeah, I mean, I understand the anger. I get it. This gentleman right here, he needs his mac and cheese. Well, when she tried to explain that, hey, there's plenty for both of you, that's what he grabbed her by the neck. Yeah. And started ripping at her throat.

It's a zero-some game. The defendant also left scratch-mackers on the woman's back, boo-hoo, and damaged her cell phone during the attack. The woman said she eventually got away from the assailant and sat back down to the kitchen table. And he began playing on his tablet. What did she have to do to get away from him? Walk slowly?

Look at this fucking animal. She asked him to count to a number above 10. Yeah, right. Listen, I don't want a victim blame, but you don't fucking take a man's macaroni and cheese. No, definitely not. All right. Let's talk about this fucking creep.

This story is pretty fucked up. This is 16-year-old Landon Doty, who's tried as an adult Carl because he flip-flopped a nonverbal boy with autism while on the school bus. I got to tell you, of all the places that I get horned up, the school bus is not one of them. Especially when the slow kid is sitting there. Like, you're not. Seeing next to the slow kid, probably doesn't wipe real well. He was seen on surveillance.

surveillance footage flip-flopping the seven-year-old child. Mm-hmm. Over several weeks, no one did anything. At first, I was like, why is this, uh, tism kid on the bus with the normies? But it turns out this guy ended up on the bus with the tism kid. So here's how this whole situation got caught. A bus monitor saw Doty shove the child off of his lap. Yeah, who wants you?

Get out of here, kid. The monitor had the driver stop the bus to intervene and separated them, requested that the bus surveillance footage be reviewed. Doty testified in his defense denying the allegations, claiming he was using calming techniques on the child. Instead, they were merely messing around. By the way, putting your dick in someone's butt is that a calming technique? I can tell you this from experience.

Oh, man. Doty's defense attorneys maintained the bus driver and bus monitor did not see their client engage in any sexual activity with the boy. Unfortunately, this kid's asshole was the size of a dinner plate. Right. Poop is still falling out of it to this day. Yeah. Well, then explain to me how it got like that.

Right. This kid has like severe permanent damage to his asshole, they said. Right. The boy's family said sued the county school district, the bus driver and the monitor, alleging the school staff were aware of the child's vulnerability but took no actions to protect him. So this kid, the 16-year-old kid, Doty, he was riding a normal bus with all the normal kids. Let's get to that part. He vandalized the seat?

Yep. He vandalized his school bus so they're like, hey, let's take this horny pervert off the school bus and throw him on with the special needs kids. What do you think vandalizing a seat means? I think he was jerking off onto it, right? Or drawing pictures of him flip-flopping other kids? Okay, so he was pulling his plan together? Is that what he was doing?

Let's get this kid on with the nonverbaltisms. It's just a picture of a kid in a wheelchair. I got an arrow pointed at its butt. The family claims this kid suffered permanent injuries as a result. He's scheduled to be sentenced on April 27th. Now listen, if you were riding the special needs bus and you were flip-flopped by the 16-year-old, please contact the National S-A hotline, 1-800-6-55-OPE. Is that the flip-flop hotline?

That's the flip-flop hotline. Okay. We're using a lot of different terms. people don't to get caught up on dumb things you invented. Well, yeah, we used flip-flop because I can't say R. You said rape earlier. You could say rape on YouTube. I don't know why people think you can't say R.

You can't say R. You can't say R. What are we an opi? I know. I was trying to do my Opie. Hey, by the way, I watched Ron Berman's stand-up this week. I found it on the internet and popped up. You watched Rosie O'Donnell and Ron Berman this week?

I can't tell who's fatter. I can't tell who's fatter. I'm fucking in way better shape than Ron Berman. Rod Berman. I thought he was like a skinny little dude and I looked out and was like, holy shit. He's a fucking mass man. And I'm not trying to be that guy, but man, his standup stinks too. But at least he has energy. Rosie's just like, man, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. At least he has energy. I wish he'd put his energy away. It's too much fucking energy. I hate it. He's got too much energy. He's been eating too much bologna. Yep, that's the problem.

Oh, right, Carl. A lot of energy and bologna, guys. I want to introduce you to, uh, this is Ron. Donald Savoy Fleming, and he's currently facing one count of open murder for the slain of a 73-year-old grandmother, Pete Davidson. That's not Pete Davidson. Are you sure that's not Pete Davidson? I think Pete Davidson is still alive. I think so. Okay, because that's a misprint then.

It says Thedara Fleming. I just assumed that was Pete Davidson. Got it. The case dates back to 2024 with deputies responded to requests from family members for a welfare check on Thadara. Now, the family told investigators they had not heard from Thedara for several days, which was unusual. Now, this happened outside of Detroit, by the way, everybody. Upon arriving at the address, the first responders found the Doris Fleming's grandson, Ronald, inside no sign of grandma. Twiddling his thumbs, whistling.

Oh, it seems to do the problem, opposite. The suspect's father told police, I knew something was wrong. Investigators soon turned their attention to the backyard where a shovel was reportedly visible next to a mound of disturbed dirt. Nothing to see here. We were all out here looking, praying it can't be. this, but then when we looked, it was surreal, he said. Authorities ultimately discovered the Darryff Fleming's buried in a shallow grave in the yard. I hate that they point out this shallow grave.

Would it be a giant waste of this guy's time to go down six feet? Of course, it's a shallow grave. Who gets a shit? What's the difference? Well, you know, maybe don't do it in the backyard of the house. Where was supposed to transport? The body somewhere else is going to get caught doing that, Vinny. He's going to get caught with the shallow grave, Carl.

Well, he did eventually get caught with the shallow grave. He should have planted some grass on top of that. New details emerged about the killing. Apparently, he alleges that she turned towards Ronald Fleming and tried to claw his face. So he grabbed the dare around the throat with both of his hands and strangled her until he felt her neck snap. Authority said the defendant told Investigator,

his grandmother had increasingly pressured him to get a job and attend school. Dude, some people do anything to get out of doing any kind of work. They don't even pretend they have a morning show in St. Cloud, Minnesota. They'll do anything to get out of doing work. Yeah, this woman lived to be 73 years old. My grandma, by the way, Carl, she lived to be 90. And you know how she did that? By not telling me what to do.

That's how she lived to be 90. Comedy's not working out for you. Find something to do with your life. Fuck you. Fuck you, grandma. I'll kill everybody. Oh, buddy. From your lips to God's ears.

If you want to live a long life, stop telling your kids and grandkids to get a job. They don't want to hear it. They only play video games. Shut up. Investigator said her body was wrapped in a quilt, so that's nice. That's cute. Yeah. He continued to escalate the tension between them.

He said, cultivating to Darif Fleming, allegedly approaching him with the knife. The defender repeatedly claimed his grandmother lunged at him. Yeah. And this was all self-defense. I'm going to lean into, I don't believe you. A court, he's being held without bond and scheduled to return to court in May. I feel like you could hold back grandma by just, like, putting a, radar about, right? Just a stiff arm? I don't think you need to like murder her. So do you remember when

I sent you last year, I sent you a video or a voice note that my nephew sent me? Yeah. About how he was dealing with my brother. Yeah. Who, you know, was dealing with cancer and stuff when we didn't realize it at the time. He was older, like in his late 60s. He tried to strangle my nephew. Yeah. And my nephew was just laughing because it was just so weak and pitiful. Exactly. It's not a threat. And he's just like, why are you so mad, Uncle Danny? He just relax. And he's just like had to calm him down. But old people do get mad.

They do. You can't just murder them for it. I mean, you can. You can. You can. It's easy, too. I guess you shouldn't. I guess you shouldn't.

I guess don't. I think we missed one super chat. Well, I don't want to do that, Carl. We better hit it. Yeah, the Lebron Mystic up there. Oh. Okay. Consequence.

Bestest boy, furry, subshirt to be worn for a full day at Vegas. Winner chooses which day, like, during the show, ears and tails too. Nope. Zipline. That's expensive by ever missing unless you're purchasing this furry suit for us. Dude, believe it or not, the um, zip line ticket is cheaper than I had to spend on that fucking t-shirt for you last year. How much is the ticket? It's like 50 bucks. How much is a kilt? Where are we going to get a kilt? I got it covered. We got you a kilt. We got me a kilt? Yeah. Is it one size fits all? Is there a chance that you have to wear a kilt or do you just get my size.

I mean, a little stretch of, you know. Fuck you, man. This is, this is, this is, this is bullshit. What are you talking about? This is such bullshit. What do you mean? Why is it already predetermined that you win the creep off in Vegas every year? Who fucking said that?

You just did. You already got me a kilt, you said. Yeah, I know. Just an expression. I mean, you're reading a lot into it. Just an expression. Yeah, I got a kill. Is anyone going to supertip.

G.G. slash creep. Let's find out. Because if they're not, what in the fuck? It's wrong with you, people. bunch of it. Oh, somebody is. You got Hitler over there. We got a bunch of money.

The graphics for this new need for speed. Hot pursuit is wild. That motherfucker got moves. That boy just found out he got three months to live or something. Hot damn. Cocaine's a hell of a drug. Cocaine's a hell of a drug. I got to tell you that Rick James' voice is pretty solid.

It's great. It's pretty good. Rick James is great. And he can't sue us. No, he cannot. Which is nice. Perfect. Very helpful.

Sodomy, the new calming technique. Maybe that's what was happening with Carl's creep. He tried his calm and technique. And when that didn't work, had to resort to strangulation. May as well rob two. That's correct. This guy's listening. Oh, so your guy wasn't a creep then.

He was just trying to help those old people by raping their bottoms. Correct. Now you're getting it. I mean by flip-flopped. I know. So you can say that, Vinnie. Okay. I don't know why people think you can't say that.

You can. Well, here we are. Just a word. Learning things today. All right. Folks, you are just the best audience in the world. We will see you in Las Vegas this week. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you for everybody's sports. I'll also see you on my channel in just under two hours for a point dabble point. My guests on the show today, of course, Shulie is my co-host, and we will have the great Cardiff Electric and Adam Bush. Wow. Joining us on the show to talk about Suttering John, who is reeling. He's trying to raise money for his whatever surgery is pretending he has to have. He's freaking out that his attorneys won't return his phone calls and that he has a court date in Rochester.

What the fuck is the deal with his attorney's not returning anybody's phone calls? Dude, we'll talk about it as much as we can. I'll point devil point. Tune into my channel. I can't wait to hear their side of the story. I'm sure it's a good reason. Bye, everybody. We are not going to be here for a bonus episode this Friday because we will be in Las Vegas.

But we'll see you soon. We will. See you soon. Bye, kids.