The Creep Off - Episode 311: There is No Vape, Only Rasul!

Episode Date: April 28, 2026

The Creep Off goes back to court as Karl and Vinnie tackle one of the sleaziest professions on earth to answer one question: Who is the Creepiest Lawyer? Plus: Karl’s Cop Cam features a woman with a bit of a drinking problem, followed by a police problem. In the Scum Parade we meet Jersey Mikes new spokesperson, A Mothers worst mistake and we ruin everyone’s favorite holiday movie Home AloneDon’t forget to vote for who brought the biggest creep at patreon.com/thecreepoff.  Check out this week’s scum parade stories here:  Man Busted For Subway Stale Bread Rage | The Smoking GunSex fiend teen jailed after he wanted own mum to watch videos of his 'tiny' penis - Daily StarFormer 'Home Alone' house owner John Abendshien found dead days after child porn arrestTransgender Man Arrested After Being Accused of "Kidnapping" Son, Taking Him To Cuba For Sex Change Surgeries - ReduxxThe score is currently Vinnie 1 - Karl 2 – Guest 4 Want more of the madness? Support the show on Patreon, Supercast to snag exclusive merch and get an extra bonus episode every week!Don’t forget you can leave us a voicemail at 585-371-8108You can follow our results girl Mahalia @mahellllyeahYou can follow our Results girl Danni on Instagram @Danni_Desolation

You're listening to the Carl Network. If you're a kid, don't get on here, okay? See, that's how you do a disclaimer, okay? You tell the kids to get out to fuck off this damn page. Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation. Horror, shock.

It's because I'm alive, and I'm not backing down. Go-c-c-c-c-c-c-c. Oh, L'A. Bows, welcome to another episode of your favorite true crime podcast, the show about creeps by creeps for you creeps. I'm your host. My name is Vinnie and joining me, as always. My nemesis slash best pal, it's hot cucka-c-c-c-carl. What is happening, Vinnie Paulino?

You gotta love Vinnie Carlino. So good to see you, my friend. It's nice to see you too, buddy. Happy Monday, everybody out there. It is a holiday today. Let me not forget to remind you. It is a super chat Monday out there. So get them in early and often.

And also, I believe we have a thing called Super Tip. Is that working now? Super Tip is up and working today. You could use that QR code or just go to supertip.g. G.g. Backslash creep and have some fun with it. Apparently, I look yellow today. You look great. You look like you've been Simpsonized. Good.

Simpsons are really funny. Maybe it'll rub off finally. No, you're more like season 20, Simpsons. Oh, I'm all computer animated and shitty. Yeah. Damn it. Everybody watching. Thanks for joining us.

It's going to be a very, very fun episode. Today, we are going to find out who is the creepiest lawyer of all time. That's going to be tough, huh? Yep. There's a few bad eggs out there. Yeah, there might be a creepious lawyer two, creepiest lawyer three, creepyest lawyer four. Can you believe this guy's an attorney?

And he acts like this? I should have grabbed that drop. John, being surprised at an attorney would behave in a manner, unfitting for the profession. We're going to explain to everybody today. how the fuck some of these people are very unprofessional in their conduct with the courts. Agreed. But before we do that, we got to remind everybody this show is a competition.

Carl, tell the people how it works. That's right. This is a true crime show for men. And you know that because we're always in competition with each other. Each episode, Vinny and I present who we think is the biggest creep in a certain category. You listen to the arguments, and then you go to patreon.com slash the creep off. And you vote for who you thought brought the bigger creep. You don't have to be a member to vote on there.

And then each Monday, our results girl tallies up the votes and lets us know who got more of the votes. That person gets a win for that week. Once one of us gets to five, we win the round. And the other person has been the dreaded wheel of consequences. Current score is one to one. Well, Carl, before we bring in our results, girl, Danny, to tell us the results of last week's episode, the big creeps in the movie theater. Something big just happened, I see.

We got a shout out to the greatest patron of the creep off, our palabermistic, who just helped out 20 of you get creep off channel memberships. Labermissic, thank you very much, my friend, for granting those memberships. We do bonus shows every single Friday at noon Eastern. So if you got granted a bonus, then you can check out those episodes and watch us live. So he says, I stop for a half hour break at one of those truck stops casinos and hit the bonus. So guess was getting memberships? Nice.

That's awesome. At the next live event, we will see you there, Labyrinth. Thanks, Labriss. I gave him a stack of creep off stickers, and he's throwing them all over the country in his truck. I fucking love that guy. That's great. He's a manager. So, Damny is here. Let's bring her in and let's find out the results.

Hi, guys. Hi, Danny. Hi, Danny. It looked beautiful today. Well, thank you. You look beautiful, too, Carl. I do. I agree.

Thank you so much for joining us. I'm excited to find out about. The results, I have not looked. I do not know what happened with the voting last week. All I know is that I was awesome. You weren't awesome. You both did awesome. Amazing.

For the first time, Carl, I actually don't know who won. Really? Because in the voting. Yeah. Including my own personal vote. We tied. Oh. So we have to go through and figure out if there's, well, there's a tiebreaker, remember?

There is a tiebreaker. Yeah. Wait. We're looking at her. Wait, is it really 50-50 on this one? And that's including my vote. That's how honest I am, Carl. I could have just said it.

I voted and I win. Nope. It was a 50-50 split right down the middle. No shit. Well, that's only happened one other time that I can remember. Yeah, not too long ago. So the rule is the beautiful, vivacious. God damn, she looks good today.

It's Danny. She gets to pick up. I said she looked at first. I mean, she just, I mean, look at her. She's amazing. She's fucking glowing. I know. And a wonderful mother, too.

Thank you. Not only is she. great mother, you know, she's great at her job doing the results. And bro, fucking more memberships are coming in from Labyrinth. Five gifted. Danny clap again, Danny. Clap more for Labyrinth.

Give Labyrinth some claps. Thank you, Labyrinth. Much appreciated. Thank you, brother. That's over on the Who Are These Podcast channel. We simulcast this. So you get memberships on Creepop and Who Are These podcasts? Oh, never mind.

Don't take those claps back, Danny. Do them in reverse. Do them in reverse. Stop ruining it, Carl, shut up. Now, Danny, in the case of a tie, you as the results girl, gets to decide who won. You listened to the episode. Carl's creep was James Holmes. James Holmes, what a creep.

Yep, James Holmes shot up that movie theater full of a bunch of dorks. Like Batman. Batman rules. And then there was my creep who was an armed guard at a movie theater who dragged a 15-year-old into a theater and painted her face. Man. Yeah, that's a close one for sure. It's a tough one. I mean, my presentation was obviously better and more entertaining and interesting,

so got to factor that in, of course. True. Yeah. Okay. You want me to do the tie breaking right now? Are we ready? Fuck yeah. Let's go.

Yay. Okay. This one I went with Carl with James Holmes. What? What? What? Yeah. Yeah.

You know, mass shooting versus. Danny, you are so right about this. You always call down the middle. You call the balls and strikes, and we appreciate that. And also your analysis is spot on. I would say, don't you have a daughter? Don't you have a daughter?

Now you're going to shame her. Yeah, because I feel, because I'm mad about losing. Yes, I will shame her now. Shame on you. That's a big win right there for the Cousaroo. Thank you, everyone who voted for me. And thank you, Danny.

The deciding remote. God damn bullshit. Danny. She's even better than usual today. Danny, you look great. We love you. Where could people get more of you? You can find me on Instagram at Danny Desolation.

Come see me. Say hi. Slipping your DMs. I'll get more social media soon. That's like available to everybody. But we'll get there eventually. Okay. Sounds good.

Is that a tease? All right. We'll see Daddy soon. Be good, girl. Bye, Danny. God, Danny and the Cow bikini? Patreon.com slash the creepoff. Jesus.

Mary and Joseph, help me. Help myself. All right, fuckface. Wow. Congratulations. You won with the Joker guy. Wow. I'm the Joker.

What a victory. What a victory. You ready to start our contest or should we celebrate Super Chat Monday real quick? All right. Let's celebrate Super Chat Monday. Chris Primer's coming in with a fiver. I don't think Obie cares about Scorch anymore. He used to get excited talking about him, but now he scoffs.

Why do I even give this guy money? No, man. What is going out with OPE? He's just going through the motions. What is even happening with him anymore, Chris Primer? And you know what else? Chris Primer hooked somebody up with the creepoff channel membership. So thank you, Chris.

Thank you. Cardiff Electric is making his nomination. Susser! Thanks, Cardiff. Good to see you, buddy. What's creepy about a guy who's like head is exploding from the inside out? Harpusa 69, thanks for the two bucks, says, okay, Fabbits. What's next?

I think the contest is next. Carl, ring that bell. Let's go. I am bringing a New York City creep, an attorney, Ryan Hempel, and Ryan Hempel was up to no good between October, 2024, and March of 2025. It's a very recent case. And if you want to play my clip number one, I'll let the news media explain what this guy was doing. Oh, no.

Carl, hold on one second, buddy. Yeah, of course, man. Do we have multimedia capabilities? We sure do, pal. I got it. I got it. Hold on one second. Now you want clip number one? Clip number one, my friend. Got it. A shocking 116 count indictment just for one man in Manhattan.

43-year-old Ryan Hempill is accused of raping and assaulting at least six women over a five-month span. Many of the allegations are too disturbing and depraved for us to list here. And prosecutors say he used his business. position as an attorney to intimidate and threaten his victims into silence. Well, I will sue you if you don't lay down on your back right now. I have good news for you. While the news media doesn't want to tell you what happened, I certainly will be telling you what happened. Let's hear from the district attorney on the

case during a press conference in my clip number two. Each of these six women was subjected to hours of physical and sexual violence. The defendant, we allege, beat them, drug them, and restrained them. He threatened them with firearms. He used a shock collar and a cattle prod intended for livestock. What? This guy's up to no good, man. Where do you get that from?

This guy's a real creep, isn't he? I guess the farm, I don't know. Where is he to live again? He does in Manhattan. And he's got a fucking cattle prod? Yeah, he's got a nice apartment in Manhattan. Oh, man. He's bringing women up there.

And, you know, it's six weeks. him in five months. It's the 116 counts. But Vinnie, he's filming all this shit too. So they're looking through the footage. My clip number three, this might get a lot worse. Counselor. Don't you know not to film things? In addition to numerous weapons that were recovered, investigators also found surveillance cameras and memory cards from which we extracted videos of dozens, if not hundreds of different women.

Because of that and other elements of our ongoing investigation, we have reason to believe that there may be more survivors. Oh, boy. So they're looking through the footage going to say, uh, wow. Hundreds? Hundreds, did he say? Potentially hundreds of other women. Oh, no.

We're in it out of this apartment. You imagine being the neighbor of this guy? Like, this fucking guy, always a different chick every night. You know, you know what this smacks of to me? What's that? And I think everyone listening to would probably agree. This sounds like Carl's a little jelly. Yeah, well, I also got some pointers here because what he did is he targeted women offering them large sums of money for sex and companionship on sites like Seeking.com, Sugar Daddy, Sugar Daddy Meat, Fat Life, and Craigslist.

Uh-huh, uh-huh. So he's finding women who are looking for the easy way out and hooking them up with some cash. Unfortunately, it's counterfeit cash because he also was making fake money. Brilliant. As well. What a good lawyer. So, yeah, he's targeting all these women. The detectives walked into his apartment, found a house of horrors, a meticulously planned torture chamber, where he subjected women to hours of sexual violence, psychological terror, and sadistic cruelty.

And my clip number four, I think this presenter lets us know what he was up to better than I can, more succinct. All stems back to October 3, 2024, because according to court documents, Hemphill began inviting six women to his apartment under the guise of a paid arrangement. And once inside, he allegedly forced these women to ingest drugs that left them disoriented. Hold on. By that picture, he looks like he forced those women to ingest improv comedy. What the fuck is this? This is his lawyer? That's like his professional headshot.

Good stuff. Your honor, I plead hilarity. I'll be here Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Holy shit, that headshot sucks. And then, and I'm sorry for how horrifying this is, rape them repeatedly in essentially every way you can imagine while they drifted in and out of consciousness. And this, prosecutors say, became a sickening routine.

I can imagine a lot of ways. Every way I can imagine? I like how in this picture that angle makes him look like Jeffrey Tambor on that show where he was transitioning. Yes. So they found heroin, cocaine, amphetamines, and fentanyl in this guy's apartment. So this was a fucking party. that he was having. And last clip I have on here to talk about what this guy was up to.

We get some more details by code number five. He used a cattle prod. This is a device meant for livestock to electrocute some of these victims. Others were allegedly forced to wear shock collars around their necks while he assaulted them. He's accused of binding women with handcuffs and duct tapes, slapping, punching them. One case, leaving a victim shackled to his bed for hours as she begged for release. She was napping. The prosecutor, say Hemphill even took some kind of sick pleasure and psychologically torturing them to convincing some women to confide in him about past traumas only to reenact those very abuses himself. He's the scarecrows.

And even more horrifying and humiliating. He's accused of peeing on these alleged victims and threatening them with guns and knives. Jesus Christ. It's fucking Polish Joe over here. He's pissing at people. Yep, he's torturing these women. Oh. Yeah.

So he's charged. Also, he's charged with bribing a witness. And according to the prosecutors, drew up a contract in which he agreed to pay a woman $2,000 in exchange for dropping a complaint she filed with complete with police. Can I just give a piece of advice out to everybody listening very quick before you go too far? Yeah. If anyone ever asked you what your worst fear is, don't tell them. Yeah, right. Just a piece of advice.

Especially the cattle prod in his hand. Don't tell him. If you're already restrained to a bed and somebody's like, hey, what are you scared of most? Don't answer. Say kittens. Spiders. Gosh, please, don't torture me

with those spiders over there. I want to tell you that it's actually my balls of a vice is what scares me more than anything in the world. I'm afraid of tea parties.

My biggest fear is separation. You making me leave would terrify me. He also is accused of forcing some of the victims record videos in which they stated that they had consented to being abused.

That was their thing that they were going to. So he also tried to bribe a member of the jury. This guy's great. If convicted, he could spend the rest of his life in prison. He was previously acquitted of a 2015 case of choking and holding a knife at his ex-girlfriend's throat after testifying that he enjoyed strangling her during sex. This guy's got some kinks. Yeah, the court sounds like they just went after this guy, kink shaming. Ryan Hempel is the biggest creep who is an attorney.

Vote for Carl, patreon.com slash of the creep off. Carl, I'm going to have you hold my beer. I'd like to introduce you to my creep today. Okay. This guy, you may know him, ladies and gentlemen. Here's a photo of him on his way to conduct an orchestra. He looks great. He looks really good.

My creep today is somebody I would not normally pick, because the reason I'm picking this gentleman, is because of the fact that I am supporting my co-host, Carl. I think we're just trying to find out where he is, right? Are he just trying to look for him? Well, I'll probably get a letter. I imagine there might be a letter after this. But I'm just going to go ahead and say, if you support Carl,

you would have to support your boy Vinny this week with his pick, Mr. Tabber Benedict, aka the Maestro. Thank you, Mel's Tad. Now, Carl, we know a little bit about, old tabber here, but I believe there's a lot of misnomer's. Let's not make fun of them. Let's get a more casual shot of him at his walking. Good stuff. Hold on. Hold on. I got this.

Here's a casual photo. Why did all of this do this to me, Carl? Did you see that jerk? Here's a more casual photo of him out as well. to work. Oh, weird. Yeah. Is that AI?

No. Oh. That's just Tabor on his way into his job. Okay. Now, one of the things people don't know about Tabbard is that he was not raised wealthy. No. A lot of people believe that he was just this rich kid who became a lawyer. And that's not true, Carl.

He worked his way through school. In fact, he was raised by a single mother because his dad threw him out of the house when he was 17 years old. They were raised. He was raised on food stamps, Carl. At least that's what he told the magazines. Now, he rebuilt his career from nothing. He's a self-made man, Carl. He went to Columbia Law School, and he graduated class of 2002.

Then he worked for a place White and Case, then Shoot Roth and Zabel. Then Hughes, Hubbard, and Reed. These are three of the most prestigious law firms in the country, Carl. And he works for all three. Okay. No, I'm going off of his bio, yeah. Oh, God. No, prestigious, very prestigious.

Got it. You see. Now, he eventually became an in-house counsel, but he realized that he needed to start his own practice because, let me tell you something, the world cannot be deprived of a TABER Benedict. He started his own company called Benedict Advisors, Carl. And he claims that that firm has handled $25 billion in transactions. Yeah. He was showing up in the society pages. In fact, there was a really cool, interesting article about him.

Here's a picture of him in his apartment from that article. He's a cool guy. The Wall Street Journal ran a piece on him and his fiance in 2008. It was a human interest piece, Carl. It was a story about a taxi driver who moonlighted as a matchmaker and set them up. Okay. Isn't that nice? Yeah.

Now, by 2012, 10 years after graduating from college, this guy is being featured in the New York Observer, calling him a Gats Baby. You familiar with the Gats Babies, Carl? It's their term for Manhattan's new class of self-made socialites who quote, lure ladies, Luker, and limelight, and losers' clients. Tabern knew exactly how people saw him. He told the observer in that report that everybody just thinks he's a prick, and he doesn't really care.

Really? He's playing the villain. He's the heel? Yeah, yeah. He wanted everybody to know. He's like, fucking, oh, you don't like me, do you? He's the Aaron Holt of law? Correct. He didn't mind talking shit. So he's doing pretty good for himself. I mean, he's in the papers. Everything's good. And then on the evening of July 3rd, 2011, Carl, he got a text from his girlfriend, and she invited him back over to Manhattan. He was out in the Hamptons. Yeah. And he had been drinking quite a bit. In fact, around the time a few hours later, his blood out.

alcohol level was 0.28, which is four times the legal limit. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty high. Around the same time, there was a guy named Steve Dorn, who was riding his bicycle. Now, Dorn was a 44-year-old teacher. He's a phys ed teacher.

He also was a lifeguard. Sounds like a real jerk. Yeah. Father of three, Carl. Yeah. And he was doing a 44-mile bike ride that morning before he went to celebrate with his family. And he was two miles from his house. When old Tabor came rolling.

whole and through. It is 2011 GMC Arcadia SUV. And let's just say this. Benedict was, according to all reports, driving incredibly recklessly, changing lanes without signaling, cutting people off, driving like a basic asshole.

What an asshole! The two met in the road, and Benedict ran over with this truck. So the truck beat the bicycle? That's correct. Okay. He ended up, critical condition with a broken back, broken shoulder, broken hip, but he did survive.

Here's the problem, though, Carl, two miles down the road, Tabbard just kept going. He did not stop. He just drove right past this poor father of three that he just hit with his own car to save his own ass. He kept driving. In fact, two motorists saw what happened and chased him down in their cars and pinned him in, one pulled up in front of him and the other one pulled up and back of him. And I have pictures of them pulling him out of his car.

Thank you. Wow. Yeah. Amazing. Yeah, yeah. We've never seen these photos before. It's some incredible work you've done. Thank you.

Thank you very much. I had to dig deep for these. Incredible research. These are very real. Now, if that isn't enough, this closed down the Montauk Highway for about three and a half hours. So if that's another reason. A lot of people are waiting for that day.

Now, the criminal proceedings played out. His defense argued that this was an unusual isolated incident that he would be driving four times a legal limit from the Hamptons to Manhattan. He's never done that before. And he said that, you know what we should do? I don't think this is anything that requires incarceration. Maybe this is just we have a little misdemeanor, maybe a little probation, everything's good. The district attorney did not see it that way.

Because you almost murdered a man and kept driving. And you were very, very drunk. Trying to get away is not a good. And the judge called these comments by the defense as absurd. absurd, which I think is great. Okay. And he was found guilty on all 10 charges. He pleaded guilty to all 10 charges, aggravated vehicular assault, a class C felony,

two counts of vehicular assault in the second degree, leaving the scene of an accident without reporting, DWI and reckless driving. Now, this is around the time, all of this happened. This is the time that that article I was talking to you about, the Gats Baby article, came out after he did all this shit. With bad timing. Yeah, well, and all, like, nobody cared. What do you mean nobody?

Nobody knew about it is what I'm saying. Like, nobody in his circle knew what fucking happened to him. He kept it very quiet. So before he got sentenced, Carl, he, uh, four days before the sentencing, in fact, on January 24th, 2013, he threw himself a big old party. Nice. A black tie party at the bungalow eight in Chelsea, 150 guests. He spent the night telling people about his upcoming trip to Europe. Yep.

And all the places he planned to visit and how long he'd be away. Three to ten. Yeah. But how much fun I'm having? Yeah. Only a hand people in the room knew the truth, but the rest found out later. One friend told the New York Post said he lied to everybody about going to Europe. Justin Ross Lee, also a Gatsbaby, featured in the same observer piece, told the post,

I feel terrible for TABber because I know there's no table service where he's headed. And he's the most pretentious person I've ever met. Oh, all right. with friends like that, right? Right, Tabbard. So jail's not going to be a great time then. Yeah. So he served a sentence.

I don't know when he got out, but he was stripped and disbarred in July of 2013 retroactive to his guilty plea. But when he got out of prison, somehow he got himself back on the bar, Carl. Which is pretty crazy considering what he did. Yeah. It's not normal. Completely agree.

He'd be reinstated. But somehow he'd be. became an attorney again, and guess what? Yeah, what did you do that? In January of 2026, CEO World Magazine Publisher Profile headline, Tabber Benedict, the lawyer bringing big law skill to growing businesses. It described him as the founder, managing partner

of the relaunched Benedict's Advisors, PLLC. It quoted him on authenticity and mentioned Columbia Law. All of those firms we mentioned earlier, it did not mention the felonies or the almost killing a guy. It did not mention the disbarment, And it did not mention Steve Dorn at all. So, shocker. Either way, he tried to get his business back on the ground.

But in the summer of 2025, Carl, I don't know if you know this. He took on a new client. Oh, good. He took on a guy named Stuttering John Melendez, the former Howard Stern intern, everybody. I've heard of him, yeah. Yeah. He was suing a former Stern employee, Shulie Egar, and an unnamed podcaster. He sued Carl for $600,000 over John's right to publicity.

mentioning the secretly recorded phone calls and couch cushions, which have nothing to do with the right to publicity. You see, Benedict filed the suit, and he has been nothing but a punchline in the Dabbleverse since then. He misspelled his own name in the original filing, so it had to be re-served. That was a fun time, Carl, when you called me and told me about what an idiot he was that day.

We laughed and laughed and laughed. But here's the real thing that he did that was shitty. He took this case for John with the intent. of filing so he put in so many filings dude that danny had to continue your attorney had to keep answering which kept racking up the bill on you just filing that case in manhattan and having to argue that it should be in rochester had to cost tens of thousands of dollars it's not cheap no shit so this guy's bullshit cost our friends tens of thousands of dollars and if that's not a creep i don't know what is everybody and now he disappeared

he writes this letter in the fall saying, I'm going to go to Europe with the love of my life. Now, I have suspicions of what really happened, Carl, and I can't prove anything. Okay. But if I had to guess where Natalie is now, I'm just guessing, I don't know. Oh, no, that's not great.

I don't know. We haven't heard from him since. The guy just kind of fucking disappeared. You get the lighting on that pretty well. That's pretty well done, my friend. Thank you. It's pretty well done. Now, my thought is that maybe that's what happened.

but I can't say this for sure. This is just a guess that he murdered Natalie with the chainsaw and fled the country. All we know is that he did write a letter in December saying that Bennett Susser was one of the attorneys on this case now. And that Danny, your attorney, had to say that he believed he walked away from the case. I believe those things are accurate. I have seen videos of his dog pooping. He was taking his dog out for a walk and it pooped. I don't know if that's a recent video.

It looked like maybe it was. Oh, wow. So he might still be in the case. country. Well, all I want you to do this week, folks, is remember, support Carl by voting for Vinny this week. Support Carl by voting for Vinny and Tabber Benedict this week at patreon.com backslash the creepoff. Paz says I should have picked Rickada. Where were you this morning? Where were you? Yeah, I was really surprised you didn't pick Ricada. I was actually good to call this episode, by the way, Creepiest lawyer not named Vince. Listen, I think chopping up a line or two for your

daughter is a noble thing, you know. She needs to pick me up before school. So I'm not going to bring Rickade on here. I'm kidding. Yeah. Give his daughter cocaine. He kept it for himself and his girlfriends. And just because we are talking about attorneys today, I'm going to go ahead and say,

I don't believe that Taber Benedict murdered his girlfriend, Natalie, with the chainsaw. Smart. But I don't know that for sure. Smart thing to say there. I can't say that for sure. I want to point something out. So PDP point DabblePoint usually would be on Shulies channel. this week. But Shulie keeps getting strikes from our friend John Melendez, these DMCA takedons.

Wait a second. Wait, what, what, what, what? He did it again. Oh, yeah, he's back on it. He's striking everyone. He's out of his fucking mind. He's striking everyone. So, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do people know what Shulie did? What do you mean? Like, you know, Shulie's threats about what Shulie wants to do. Yeah. Yeah. People know about this? I think so. Okay. Well, what I was going to say is I talked to Shooley this morning. I'm going to do Point Dabble. I'm going to host it on Who Are These Podcasts Network today? It's just going to be me, Shulay, and Lucy

talking about these DMCA strikes and the legality behind it. We're not going to play any clips. We're not going to infringe upon John's fake copyright claims. But we'll be talking all about what John's up to. Because he is a fucking villain. It's brutal what he's

doing right now. Your buddy, John Melendez. You're in Cardiff's friend. John. The real prick. The real fucking prick. You know, when I die and I'm on my deathbed and anybody says to you, Vinny, do you have any regrets? Next week or the week after?

Yeah. You know, when they have to peel me up off the gym floor, yeah, maybe. I'm going to say, would you have any regrets? I'm going to say, I tried to help John Melendez once. Yeah, you learned that loss in the hard way. I might have to explain that to fucking God. Yeah. Seriously.

What the fuck will you do with Paul? Polito. Plink. Lake of fire for you. Well, great presentation, my friend. Vote for Carl. Patreon.com slash of the creep off. Vote for your pal Vinny if you support Carl.

If you support Carl in this lawsuit, this lull suit and all this nonsense, you better vote for your pal Vinny. This is very confusing for people who don't like me. They're like, well, I know why I'd vote for Vinny because I don't like Carl, but he said to vote for Vinny if you support Carl. Are you trying to double bluff my bluff? No, I have to support Carl in order to help Vinny. I don't know. Ah, it's all so confusing. Hamilton Burger makes a good point.

He says that I should cancel John's Carlson's show. I'll think about it. Yeah, we should probably do that. I'll think about it. Hey, guess what? Another five gifted memberships from Labyrinth Mystic.

Levern Mystic, the executive producer on today's program. Thank you very much for that, sir. Executive. Captain Blackbred, thanks for the five bucks. Vineyard creep looks like his disappointment is immeasurable and his day is ruined. Ted Bunny would be astounded by the stupidity of Carl's creep.

All of that, then not offing the woman. What a dufus that lawyer is. Yes, Ebnai, yes, you are correct. Why is he leaving these victims? He was trying to manipulate them and say, if you go to the cops, you're going to get in trouble. Yeah. Nancram T5W, thanks for the 1399 Canadian.

Last time he went to Europe, he went to jail. Can't you check prison records? Good question. Good point, yeah. Tuki's unpaid staff, thanks for the two books. I voted for Vinny, for you, Carl. I love you more than a friend, too. He's on paid stamp. Oh, what a great time we're having.

This is a fun show. This is a fun show. But you don't make it even more fun right now? I would imagine a cop cam video. I can't wait to see Carl's Cockcam. Fight with the cops for no reason. Will you please show me, cause Cockham. Lose all your rights.

Ruin your life. You know, when we were in Vegas, I called out. our producer Alex. And since then, the guy has just been working overtime. I think I lit a fire under his ass. I think I did the right thing. I think you were really mean to him, and you threw him under the bus when it was your incompetence.

I did the right thing, Vinny, because now he's sending me all these cop cam suggestions. He's going above and beyond the call of duty, and I appreciate that, Alex. He said in this one that's a fun one. There is a woman who can't find her vape, and she thinks maybe her roommate stole her vape. So she calls the cops.

But the roommate also calls the cops on her for being a jerk about her vape. That's where we start things off. Clip number one. Looking for my babe. It wasn't there. Okay. And she tried to put me out and she called the police on me and all of this goddamn bullshit. And I called the police too just to make sure everything was okay and kosher.

Because I don't go somewhere else. I don't mind that. But my shit is not in my goddamn room like it's supposed to be. So you can't find your vape, and that's what started all of this. I love that. She's like, so she called the cops on me, so I called the cops on her. Just to make sure that everything was kosher. Just make sure that pig was slaughtered properly in the presence of a rabbi.

What the fuck does that mean? Why is everyone calling the cops? So she's been living in this place a long time. Something happens in this next clip, meaning of my clip number two, that is not a good sign for this young lady who's standing outside barefoot. I wonder what it could be. I've been staying here for a long as goddamn time. I've talked to you here before.

More than 10, 12 years. And she want to invite somebody else up in here. And she lives here as well. She got this motherfucker off my goddamn name with my goddamn pastor. Are you, it's been a while since I talked to you, LaShauna or Tina. You're the Shawna, right? Yes. Okay.

Just trying to see if I remembered correctly. I have talked to me. It's never good when a random cop shows up and knows your name. That tells me that she's been up to you no good for quite some time. Hey, T, T. How you doing today? That's not a good sign right there. Oh, man.

By the way, this female police officer, we're going to see her because a backup's going to come. We're going to see the other body cam. She's pretty cute. We got a good-looking one for one. She's pretty cute, I think. And there's more to her than just her looks in clip number three. Let her work on this and we'll see what we can do. She smell good.

Ooh, you smell good. She smells good. Where's she shop at? She doesn't have a cat. How the fuck to see you, though? She's like, I got a fucking no man. I got it for a Victoria's Secret. She smelled good.

All right. So you can tell her something off with this woman, right? Yeah, Carl. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you noticed that. You picked up on that? Yeah. Good.

So, my clinic, before we find out what's off with her when we talk to the roommate inside. She's been doing good. Mm-hmm. She's been doing good for the last two days. Yeah. Been drinking. First day, she felt she was doing okay, so she felt like she can drink the next day. No.

You're not allowed to drink in my house. Those are you're getting me and understand that because at the time you drink, she gets like it. Oh, boy. Mm-hmm. Oh, boy. She's been drinking. She's a bit hammered, this lady. Can't find her vape, calling the cops, smelling cops,

every good old time. Drunk lady can't find her vape, but let's call the police. In my clip number five, Vinny, there is a shocking revelation. If Anthony Kumi happens to be watching, you're going to fall off your chair, my friend. Wait until you hear this. I don't know who my father is, okay? I believe you. I believe you, La Shana, Latisha, whatever.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Okay. Oh, no. So, this woman's got a lot of gripes. She's very sad about a number of things we're going to see in this next clip. What's got you down, sad eyes? It's never going to end.

It's never going to end. I see situations like this. Go to Mass & County and get an order of protection. You can go today. Today is the last day you can do it until Monday. I just want my vape, though, because I paid $25 for that, and I've been paying for a lot for this goddamn house. And I wanted to pay for a washer and a dryer. But my washer and dryer just came up missing, and I just want my washer and dryer.

Okay. I want my vape. Washer and dryer is missing, too, Betty. I mean, she buried the lead on this. She's talking about the vape. Like, a vape can be anywhere. Who knows? Under the couch or something.

But a washer and dryer came up missing. This is the cop you're saying it's pretty good looking. Yeah, am I wrong about that? You know, for the guy you gave me shit for, like, in Ria Ripley. Am I wrong about this? I don't know. Look at that good guitar fucking tattoo she's got on her elbow. That's real hot.

Can you back it up, like, seven frames or something like that when she was walking out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. See? Yeah. She kind of looks like Jessica Beal. Oh, what are we talking to? about that. If she was mutated with Whitney Cummings. Well, she might be a little Asian. Nothing wrong there. Or downs. So it's hard to tell between the two.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Well, that tattoo tells me. Yeah. Not Asian. Got it. You know what? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. See, I'm not crazy. Am I in the chat? Am I crazy? Mm-hmm. All right. She seems like she's pretty hot. And she smells a good, too. Yeah. M-G-O-A-2 says wood. There you go. Great. All right. Two keys on bade steps as he bets this lady's missing to reverse osmosis. That's a real thing. My RO system was stolen from my house.

That's a real. It's not like this fake washer and dryer thing. All right. She starts losing the plot pretty quickly. My clip number seven, things get confused. Oh, the lovely flag cat Jessica said for a cop, she's a good looking. Thank you. I agree.

Now, the first time when we called you, she, He said that Razzul was up the street. I don't know what that has to do with any of this. Right now, I'm focusing on kind of getting you two separated. But you need to separate. You guys need to separate. Can you listen? Thank you.

As you were saying. She sent Daryon in essence out here to look for Razzul when Razzul was supposed. Possibly. Inside the painting in the museum. Is that Ghostbusters 2? Yeah. Up in the house. So she brings up Razul and Essence and who knows what's going on.

No one knows any of these people. And then because the cops are like, listen, I don't know how you're telling me any of this is all very confusing. Listen, this is very funny by clip number eight, how she remembers this happening. Okay. What does Rosul have to do with any of this? You said it.

With what's going on right now. You said it. You brought this up. No, I did not. You said it. You're drunk. You're making zero sense. How are we going to get you separated from her right now?

You know what? Just for here. Can I give you a ride somewhere? No, you cannot. I'm going to find the key master, and we're going to fuck up all your shit. I just love that she's like, why are you talking about Rosuel? You brought up Razuel. I didn't want to talk about Rosul over here.

Are you idiots? Why do you get rid of Rzuel? This is amazing. It's fun. Oh, okay. I like the next title. Yeah, you see the title of the next one. It's freak out.

You know, wouldn't be a fun cop can video if there wasn't a freak out. It's up. Because you sit behind that steering wheel. If you brought up or so, if you get behind that steering wheel, you've been drinking. Bye.

You're not driving. I can pull on. Do you, you better back the fuck up. What? Back the fuck up right now. What? Back the fuck. Back.

Get her, Rhea. Get her. We're not. We're good. Get her hand. Get a cup on there. I think she was casting a spell. What she was saying,

Razuel what? Razzuel what? What's this girl's name? Letitia? There is no Latisha, only Razul. We're going back in her Ghostbusters 2 and Ghostbusters 1, I see.

Who cares? All right. Well, after the freak out, it's time to get her in the car. I'm sure that will be simple. She's not going to go. Okay. Let's find out. I'm not getting in your car.

You're getting in my car. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. She wants to get the dude's car. So that's just a woman thing. Girls hate girls. If there's a girl ever telling another woman what to do, it is immediately offensive to that woman being told.

No matter what. Yes. No matter what the power dynamic is, no matter what the relationship is. So what women do is they pretend they're saying the opposite. They just lay on the sarcasm real thick. And we all see through it, ladies. We all are, wow, your makeup looks so good today.

Holy crap, are those new shoes? Wow, where'd you get those shoes? Carl, your socks look particularly tall today. Oh, thanks, Vinny. Wow, your chins aren't as chitty as usual. You can't see him. That's why I grew a beard, moonhead. All right, last clip.

Let's find out what the charges are in this woman. The suspect was charged with a felony count of battery on an officer and resisting arrest. she was sentenced to two years of probation and ordered to pay a $1,200 fine. Dude, she can't even find her vape. It was $25. And then you got to wash her and dryer and now she got to pay $1,000 on top of that.

Poor Lashana. To be fair, she probably really didn't lose the washer and dryer. She probably just forgot they were in the basement. That's true. She couldn't find that door. Lashana. There is no Lashana, only Razzul. I love it.

Good job, Carl. Thanks, Benny. Hey, you know what's happening right now? People are checking. in on SuperTep, buddy. I was going to ask you about that. Yeah, let's check in on it, show. Let's see what we got.

Our pal Lavermistic, thanks for the Ted Bucks, he made some type of lawn gnome of me. It's hilarious. It's very upset. That's great. I love the look on your face. My bad, Vinnie. I was visiting family this weekend and forgot to vote.

Oh, shit. Levermissing, you could have put me over the top. We wouldn't have to go to Danny for this. But thank you for the $10. Son of a bitch. We do have image tips. Our boy, Coof. Thank you for that.

King yourselves. I predict Nicky Rack. It's VTL or Kevin Landau will be one of the creeps. Let's see if I'm right or wrong. You know what we ought to do. We ought to do a bonus episode where we just hit out all of them. Kevin Landau was a good call. That's another one I should have thought of today.

Yeah, you really fucked up. No, my attorney creep was a great creep. Happy Super Timp Monday. Thank you, Sean, for the five bucks. Appreciate it. Appreciate you, buddy. Now, listen, last week I missed one, and I really wanted to get it because our pal Coof used one of my favorite Super Tip voices.

Great, seeing you guys again at Hack 3. Thank you for not killing yourselves. It's my Sonic Chumedalien? Yeah, your Sonic Chubedalian. I didn't know that my Sonic Chubedalian had a voice on her. He does. That's fun. We've got Rick Jabe, Sonichu Medallion, Adolf Hitler,

all sorts of fun voices over there at Supertip. Check it out. There's also a super chat that came in since we last checked in on that. What does it say, Carl? Not that one. The next one. The next two, actually. That's Carl's face after Sutter John wins the lawsuit.

I like that. That's a still from my interview with Trucker Andy after the court appearance. And Labermisic says, I think she's too heavy, Vinny. Could be the vest. Okay. Got it. Could be the vest. Yes.

I think she probably has a pretty good body underneath that thing. You're probably not wrong, but, you know, who wants to find out? She's a cop. I want to find out. Okay. Is she an only fans? I don't know. Somebody look into that.

Oh, man, why is it a play? Hold on, kids. Oh, that music's great, though. We can just let that play. Agreed, couldn't we? Little isotopes. Huh. There's no AI on this channel.

We've original music. But for some reason, I won't. Okay. We can't play our sponsor. Either way. I'm having problems with my stream with my stream dock over here, guys. That stinks. I'm sorry, guys.

Do you want to email it to me, and I'll play it? Does that take too long or? I want to hear the joke. I always like the joke that comes in. Okay. Hold on a second. Why? Okay. I'm going to get this for McBride for the sake of my pal Brian McBride. The voice of Syracuse.

Why does the world hate me today? Because you're awful. It's always because I'm awful. You're an awful person. What did I do that? It was awful. We have more people watching than usual on your phone. fucking this all up. You're embarrassing us. I could have moved on. A big audience. Yeah, that's true. I could have let you just play the voicemails.

Yeah. Which is what I'm going to do. Fuck you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry McBride. We got a bunch of voicemails in this week. We're glad to have all of you joining us. And here's a little urinal etiquette talk. Hey, Vinny. Hey, Carl. We need to talk, we need to talk urinal etiquette for those who don't know out there. see if you've got like five urinals right here's what you do when they're empty no one's at any of them you either go to the one on the very left the one on the very right or the one in the very center because then three people can use the urinals at the same time now they're thinking no no no no no listen there's three you don't be the urinal creep that goes right next to somebody right

Right? Nobody fucking likes that guy. There's always something wrong with that guy. You know, you always got to worry about him like peeking over, right? I thought everybody knew this, right? But apparently they fucking don't. Unbelievable. People don't know that? I wonder if women know the urinal.

Like, guys have a very specific way that we use urine. Why would a woman know how fucking urinal works? They probably try to sit on them. They probably just squat on it like they're twerking. That sounds hot. Can we get Danny to do that for our Patreon? Yeah, Danny, we need you to do a photo shoot in a urinal for everybody. Maybe.

For her, why not? You gotta love Danny. She's up for anything, man. She is a good time gal. All right. I love her. Danny's urinal photo shoot coming off. What the fuck is right?

The voicemail section of the creep off is brought to you by the city of Syracuse. Even after a line or two, I refuse to visit the city of Syracuse. So you all can see you in Syracuse. Well done, Leverman. Thank you for stepping up for us today. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Hey, boys. Podcast Providere. Holy Spirit is speaking through me. Vinnie, what the fuck, man? You, like, stepped all over my goddamn joke during the voicemail. You played some fucking thing. Anyways. Oh, no.

What's the difference between a cylinder and a piston? I've never paid to have my mouth cylinder. Any whoodles. Are you guys both retarded? Half. Pete Holmes or James Holmes, whatever the fuck his name was, the guy that shot people up during the fucking movie. It was Dark Night Rises.

It had nothing to do with the fucking Joker. The Joker wasn't in the fucking movie. It was pain. It's true. Like, you guys keep bashing the Joker and he's Ledger and all that shit. The Dark Night was a really good fucking movie. The Dark Night Rises, the Turzling shit. Horrible.

Any hudels, thank you, fuck you, bye. Joker is stupid. People who like the Joker are lame. No, but he's right about that. It wasn't the one with Heath Ledger. He had been dead by that point, I think. The Bain movie was definitely the worst of the three. But come on, when they blow up Pittsburgh Steelers Stadium.

And Heinz Ward turns around. He's like, what? That's pretty fucking cool. Whatever. Next one coming in. Hey, Carl. Hey, Vinnie. It's the Wolf Bay over in Detroit.

You know, it's very rare that a podcast can change my mind on something. But you guys have opened my eyes to a live and told my. entire life and that's that we protect the women and children first it's just the women you're right about that kids really don't provide anything and the more i get into my adulthood the more i realize like how little they actually mean and then you really think about it dude kids can't have more kids adults can just have more kids like we don't need kids for anything they're fucking useless so yeah women and children first is all bullshit i've been sold a bill alive my whole life and thank you guys for opening my eyes to the truth anyways don't come to school tomorrow oh shit that sounds really bad as a

sign off right now. Bye. Thank you for explaining that better than I did. You're so right about that. Yeah. Children provide almost nothing to society. Carl, he actually checked back in with just a quick other thought. Yeah.

Hey, it's the Wolf Bay again. I just want to add on to my whole, like, lie about saving the women and children things. See, I just got done listening to The Dick Show, and now I don't even want to save the women. Honestly, just save yourselves. Fuck everyone else. Good point. We're all fucked anyways. That's my new favorite caller. Uh, by the way, I was texting with Dicker earlier.

Yeah, I was going to say Weight Watchers. What are we doing that again? Uh, he said, I said him a thing yesterday to kind of get the fires going. And he responded is, we got to do a Weight Watchers suit. And I said, yeah, dude, we're all waiting on you. Let's go. We should go on the Dick show again. If you want Weight Watchers, you let Dick Masterson know.

We should go on the Dick Show again sometime and do a scum parade. Yeah. A mini scum parade. Those are always fun. Yeah. Anytime. He knows that. Well, I mean, he's not going to ask us.

We got to ask him. I'll do it. Don't worry about it. I'll do it. You're free on Sundays now, right? Sure. Okay. What the fuck was up with fucking the 420 episode?

Y'all could have done at least three different things. Yeah. One, 420, Creepiest Stoner. Right. Two, it's hit with birthday. Creepiest Nazi or creepiest Holocaust victim, not counting Rogan Polanski because he was a Holocaust victim. But you could also just branch out into creepiest Jew, creepyest.

The crowd, creepiest, um, yeah, fucking Austrian, because Hitler's Austrian. There's so much you could have done. No, you did fucking creepiest movie theater, fucker. Here's why. He's right. We dropped the ball on that. He's right. Here's why.

Yeah. I set that up before I realized it was 420, and it was because of listener at Hackamaniacan and said, you guys have never done that. Would you guys do that? And I was like, sure, it sounds like a fun one. And I'll also take some blame on this one for the first time ever. I chose who I wanted to present as my creep the day before the show. So Vinny was all ready to change it.

So it was Alex. And I'm like, I already picked the guy I'm going to do. So that was my fault. Yeah. As I actually tried to be prepared for once. Here's a quick one from our pal, shitbeard the pirate. You are, boys. It's your favorite pirate.

Shit beard the pirate. And me trustee, parrots, I am a racist. You are, I am a racist. Stop with that part of it. It's dumb. I think I figured Carl out pretty good. Okay. He's like that one, Wayans brothers from the scary movies, you are, wherein he wants the women to dress like men.

Like, put on these hockey pads and shoulder pads, and there's this helmet. And peg me. Is that what he's? Okay. That way I can fuck you good and. Good and plenty. Okay. I didn't realize that

was what it's point. Okay. Carl. That's enough of that. Carl, um, is that why you asked me for that gift card to play it again, sports?

No. Really? No, it's not. Okay. If you're Carl, that rests my basketball games, your podcast and videos stink as much as his calls.

All right? Your teeth are ugly. Yeah. Your podcast stinks. Your podcast stinks. This episode could be hard to listen to. Stop having your kids call in and make fun of my teeth, please. It's very offensive.

If you would like to call... I get very upset about that. Listen, everybody, I just want to remind you that if you want to call and report Carl, you should probably do that. I'm club fucking footed, you ass white. you can report Carl at 585, 371, 808. Thank you. Anytime.

Tell us what he's done to you. Sounds good. Carl, I think it's that time, buddy. We've got to take the train home. Mm-hmm. And let's end the show strong. We didn't start it strong or do any of the middle strong. Nope.

But here comes. But Danny was on, though. That was great. Remember that? Yeah. It's time for us to listen to the Sky. Hooray. Come on, Danny.

She's always screen ready. She is. Carl, it's time for the scum parade. And boy, oh boy. I got some weird ones. We're going to start off with one that I thought was a little bizarre. This gentleman right here, his name is, oh shit, Roshul. No, his name is Roy Bacadash.

He's 43 years old. He's from Wildwood, Florida, Carl. And last Tuesday, he drove to a subway. restaurant about three miles from his house. He got into a little bit of an altercation with an employee there. You see, the reason he went back was because one week before that, he bought a sandwich there for his mother. And the bread was old and stale.

Hold on. So he was coming back to deal with it, obviously, in a timely fashion, the way one does. Hold on. You're telling me, this guy went to Subway and got a shitty sandwich, I call bullshit on that. There's no way. Do you mean stad stale bread? There's no, not a sub. Not the subway I know.

And I'm sure they had a pedophile on the side telling you to enjoy your sandwich. I mean, come on. Subway is on the up and up. Stop it. Please. And he was very upset about this because it was for his mom. And he sat on this information for about a week. He got into his work truck, drives to the subway, walks in and finds the employee.

Yeah. Walks up to the employee. And this is what we know from the security cameras. He's having a very heated conversation with him. And according to Roy, he claims that the employee laughs. at him. And that's when Roy open hands slapped the employee across the face. You got to have fun. If you're working at Subway, you got to have some fun with it, right? Yeah. And then he walks out and he leaves. Like a woman, he open hand slapped this guy. He's like,

how dare you? Fah! Unbelievable. Honestly, you know what Jersey Mike should do? Make this guy their spokesperson. Wouldn't that be hilarious? Like, he, like, in the commercials, he walks and slaps around subway employees, like, this place sucks. Get your ass over to Jersey Mike. He needed a certain of the mic, sorry. Ah, soft bread. Fuck, Danny DeVito. It's the name of his episode.

Get your ass to Jersey Mike or else. Fuck Eli Manning. Get this guy. Well, it didn't take too long for police to track down Roy the same day. He was three miles away, still in the work truck. Yeah. When they found him, he told him everything. He confirmed that he slapped him and he explained that the bread was bad.

Yeah. And he said the guy laughed when I told him the bread was bad. Officer, what would you do if a subway employee because he was, shitty sandwich that lasted your face you complain about it. Wouldn't you sit at home and think about it for a full week before going to confront the man and slapping him across the face? I spent $3.79 on a sandwich. I expected it to be delicious.

I bet you his mom is like Ray stirred or something. Oh, you got me a subway sandwich. This bread is terrible. Oh, yeah. Can I imagine. I like that she's an old Jewish lady. I'm sure this guy's mom's an old Jewish lady. This bread is terrible.

Oh, bitch. bitch, bitch. Fun fact. He went to jail on a battery charge, posted a $1,000 bond. He was out the next day. Now, Carl, let's talk about this kid.

Yeah. This is Rio Thomas. He is described in the article as a sex fiend. Okay. What's he up to? Well, he was targeting women on Facebook before sending them videos of him carrying out a, quote,

lone sex act, so to speak. You ever film yourself masturbating? No. I've never thought of doing that. No. Why would anyone ever do that? No, I look for cameras ahead of time.

Right. Are you fucking kidding me? I check the dressing room. I make sure there's nothing filming me. Yeah, that's how I prepare. Check it for bugs. Yep. So, this guy, he's 19 years old.

He repeatedly asked this woman to send the video to his mother because she would like to see his, quote, tiny penis. Oh, it's Rob Saul. I didn't realize you were talking about here. Yeah. The prosecutor in the case, talking to the court, said that the messages with him quickly turned sexual. Thomas told a stranger he wanted to, quote, rip her clothes off. Sure.

Mr. Wilson said the woman thought that the messages were becoming strange and ignored them before she received the explicit footage. By the way, ladies, that is a compliment. You do realize that, right? It's like when a dog pees on a tree. It's his favorite tree. Right. She then alerted police who arrested Thomas just weeks after he'd been released from prison for sending sexual videos to a child on Snapchat. Oh, that's not great.

The court heard officer seized his phone before discovering he had deleted the messages. Thomas of Swansea, England pleaded guilty to the breach of sexual harm prevention order into sending pictures of a video of genitals to cause alarm or distress. It comes after he was previously jailed for 28 months in August last year for sending videos of himself masturbating to another child via Snap. So this guy's got a tiny dick and he's constantly filming himself jerking off with it? That's weird, right? The judge was like, hey, by the way, this stuff about you wanting your mom to watch this was kind of concerning. Well, who's he supposed to complain to about a small dick, you know?

Yeah. He'd be like, hey, mom, instead of that Japanese guy you hooked up with, like maybe a black dude would have been really helpful for me. Look what you made me do. Thomas was sentenced to one year and four months order to sign a sex offender's registry for the next 10 years. I mean, you can't text a photo or a video of you jerking off to God. So who are you going to complain to about your small dick?

Mom seems like a good option on that. He's not listening. He doesn't care. You can tie 10% until the cows come home. Josh from Jersey, would a big dick be less weird, Carl? Yes. It would be less weird. It would be weird.

It's like, show my mom my big dick. That would be. That'd make more sense. Okay, instead of the mob part, it's creepy. I'm just saying, if you're going to film yourself jerking off. And send it to your mother. His dick makes more sense. You want a good angle when you send dick's picks to your mom.

That's what Carl is saying to everybody. Listen, guys, if you ever see a video of me jerking up, I have very big hands, okay? That's why that's why the proportion seems off. I would put money on Danny having bigger hands than Carl. I don't know how he fucking plays a guitar. I can barely reach. You have the tiniest little hands. I can barely reach the frontboard.

The only thing tidier that his hands are his little claw feet. Oh, how dare you? Let's meet this guy, Carl. Yeah, what's he up to? Well, he's all. dead. This is John Abesch. Abendashine. I guess that's the way you would say it. Now, he's kind of famous, Carl. He's a little famous. He's from Illinois. And what he is famous for is owning the house that they filmed Home Alone in. Oh, who gives a shit? Well, hold on, Carl. They did all sorts of stories about it. They filmed the thing in a neighborhood. It wasn't a set. It was somebody's actual house. They went in and repainted it all red and green and shit Christmas. colors.

Cool. And he's dead now. They found him in the wildlife preserve dead. Yeah. And this happened recently. Was he a filthy animal? Well, no. He was a retired healthcare strategy and policy expert.

Go for the home alone. Yeah. He lived in that house with his wife for a very long time. But he moved down in 2012 and moved into an apartment because he was getting a little bit older. Sure. But before. Before he died, his new house was hit with a search warrant, which was supported by multiple cyber tips indicating that an online account associated with this suspect had been used in possession of manufacture or distribution of CP.

I see. It's because it's a creep. The warrant was executed without incident and electronic evidence was recovered from the residence. Now, he was taken into custody. He was interviewed. He was charged with seven felony offenses, three counts of child's CP possession, four counts of, uh, more CP possession. And he attended a detention hearing.

And the petition to detain and was denied. So he was released. And then the next day, they found him in a nature preserved. He basically hung himself. See, this is commendable. I will tell you that this guy's a creep. And he realized like, oh, I can't fix this. So I'm just going to end it now.

And I recommend the other ESOs of the world do the same thing. Not a bad idea, but would it make you feel better to know that this wasn't some, like, benevolent thing that he was doing? I just have a feeling he likes to choke himself while he jerks off to pictures of children. In nature preserve? Yeah. He can't do it at home anymore. His wife knows, God damn it. Fucking FBI.

So, here's the deal. The house where they filmed Home Alone in, that bedroom, that little Kevin's in, this guy was probably cranking it to kids in that room. Yeah. So I hope I just ruined Home Alone. for everybody. It's not great. Every room in that house, this guy was watching CPN, I Wager.

I'm going to ruin Home Alone for you in a different way. If you touch a doorknob that's hot, you don't squeeze down harder on it and wait for it to burn your hand. You immediately remove your hand from the situation as if you were touching a hot oven. You guys know that, right? My favorite Joe Pesci line in any movie ever is in Home Alone. What is it? It's when Kevin escapes to the treehouse on that thing before they start trying to go out there.

And Kevin goes, I'm going to call the cops. And, like, Daniel Stern starts to crawl out of the thing. And Joe Pesci goes, what do you do it? He goes, he's going to call the cops. And Joe Pesci's line is, from a tree house? It's a good line. It's a good line. So well delivered.

From a treehouse, you retod. Way better than, what am I a clown to you? What do you mean? I make you laugh. From a tree house is the best Joe Pesci Lyddie movie. So everybody knows. Just so you know. Either way, this guy was 79 years old and he's all dead.

Cool. Yay! Now, Carl, would it surprise you to know that this is two pictures of the same person? It would not in 2026, Vinny? This is Eric Ethington, a 42-year-old transgender activist from Utah. He's been a fixture in LGBT advocacy there for about 15 years. He wrote for LBGTQ Nation, worked as a campaign strategist, and worked in an advocacy role for these organizations. very prominent figure.

LJ, LGB. LGB. LGBQ plus. Yeah. He also shares joint custody of his 10-year-old son with the boy's biological mother. In late March of this year, Ethington asked her if he could take the boy on a camping trip to Alberta, Canada. That's fun.

Yeah. She said yes. They never made it to the campsite. On March 29th, Ethington, his partner, Blue and Nessa, Ethington, and the boy crossed into British Columbia. That same day they boarded a flight from Vancouver to Mexico City. Two days later, they flew from Meridia to Havana, Cuba. Back in Utah, the boy's mother's freaking out because she's trying to get a hold of them.

She calls the cops. The cops go to the house. They can't get a hold of anybody. They're missing for a while. And for some reason, they got a search warrant on Ethington's home and found what they described as to-do lists. Yeah. Notes suggesting the Cuba trip have been planned well in advance. And they found documents described as instruct.

Related to the medical care for the child after gender reassignment surgery. So I've changed my mind on this, many. I think all children should transition at least once. I don't like the idea that you grow up or you're just a boy the whole time. You're just a girl the whole time. Like try everything out. Go back and forth a few times. See what you like.

Sure. Cut it off, glue it back on, cut it off, glue it back on, whatever you got to do. Correct. Also, I learned from Michael Moore that the health care industry, in Cuba is fantastic. Oh. So if you are going to be a 10-year-old kid getting your dick ripped off, I think Cuba's the best place to do that.

Disturbingly, Athington's 10-year-old son allegedly identifies as transgender. According to the Department of Justice... Why is that disturbing? He's a transgender boy. Leave him alone. According to the DOJ reports, this is believed to be largely a result of manipulation by the father or slash mother who himself only began identifying his female shortly after his son was born.

You're saying that 10-year-olds are suggestible? Come on. Because of this, concerns were raised that Evington's intention may have been to subject a child to force gender reassignment surgery in Cuba. A Utah state judge ordered the boy returned to his mother, April 13th, and granted her immediate exclusive custody. So, wait, Vin, you're against gender affirming care? What are you, a Nazi? In Cuba, is my problem. My problem is, come on.

You have a problem with gender affirming care. I mean, listen, I don't know, man. Maybe I'm too progressive. I have a problem with kidnapping. Maybe I'm too progressive. I can't get down with your stance on this one. I have a problem with kidnapping. I have a problem manipulating a child.

This poor boy. I have a problem without consulting the other parent before you do something like that. This poor girl was born into the body of a boy and just needs a little bit of help from Fidel Castro. And you were a problem with that? Is Fidel Castro still around? No, he's all that. The fuck am I talking about? One of the castros.

A federal arrest warrant was issued three days later after the judge said, get this kid home. Cuban authorities located in Lthington and his partner in Havana, both were deported back to the United States and are currently being held in Richmond, Virginia, facing federal charges of international parental kidnapping. What the fuck's wrong with Cuba that they're going to go along with this? Like, oh, yeah, why does this chop a dick off a 10-year-old? Yeah, of course. Bring them on in. The fuck. What's wrong with communism that they've gotten to that point?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that sounds right. That's exactly how communism works. Yeah, no shit. One for you, one for you. The federal charges are kidnapping, specifically the international parental. abduction of a child. And that's a big deal. Shouldn't do that.

He's pleaded not. Guilty court proceedings are ongoing. And that is this week's scum parade kids. Well done, my friend. Vinnie Paulino. Look at him. Look at Vinny. Vinnie's wearing a Celtics hat.

Of course, the Sabres dominated yesterday. The Boston Bruins, only they want to be in the playoffs anymore. Either do the 76ers, Carl. Holy shit. Joel and Bede came back last night and got his ass. Look back to the ball. Bench.

Basketball-smasketball. The NHL playoffs, Vennie. Sabers were dominating in that game, and the Bruins look like they've given up on this series. Carl, I just want to say one thing about basketball. No, that's not it. Oh. Let's go.

I want New York. I want you, Knicks. I want revenge for last year, motherfucker. Are the next to come back in the series? They're 2-2. Oh, okay. 2-2 against Atlanta, so there's a chance. I don't care either way,

who we have to fucking beat to get there, but it'd be very sweet to fucking take on the Knicks again. Motherfuckers. What you did to Jason's knee? All right, everybody. That's been the creep off this week. It was a good time. Make sure you go to the creepoff.

Patreon.com backslash the creep off. Vote for who you thought brought the biggest creep. Find us this Friday for a bonus episode. Weight Watchers is coming soon. Good. Again, reminder, tell your boy Dick, you want some more fucking Weight Watchers. And until we meet again, everybody,

nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. Good gear. May your enemies be cursed in your podcast adventures.