The Creep Off - Episode 318: Hey! I Recognize that Blanket!

Episode Date: June 15, 2026

This week on The Creep Off, Karl & Vinnie continue their Pride Month celebration by asking one very important question Who Is the Creepiest "T"? Which "T" will pass and claim the title? We're joined by Mahalia to go over our new consequences before Vinnie spins the Wheel! We'll also watch a brand-new edition of Karl's Cop Cam and learn how the Lord works in mysterious ways in this week's Scum Parade.Don’t forget to vote for who brought the biggest creep at patreon.com/thecreepoff.  Check out this week’s scum parade stories here: God told me to do it:' Woman jailed for allegedly throwing 10-month-old daughter out windowLouisville man arrested, accused of sexual acts with dog | Crime Reports | wdrb.comFuneral director decapitated 92-year-old woman’s body, threw head into ravineN.H. man accused of using gun to threaten woman into marriageThe score is currently Vinnie 0 - Karl 1 – Guest 4 Want more of the madness? Support the show on Patreon, Supercast to snag exclusive merch and get an extra bonus episode every week!Don’t forget you can leave us a voicemail at 585-371-8108You can follow our results girl Mahalia @mahellllyeahYou can follow our Results girl Danni on Instagram @Danni_Desolation

You're listening to the Carl Network. If you're a kid, don't get on here, okay? See, that's how you do a disclaimer, okay? You tell the kids to get out to fuck off this damn page. Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want.

sensation, horror, shock. I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive, and I'm not backing down. This is very disrespectful. Inducing thing. For episode of your favorite true crime podcast, the show about creeps. Bye creeps for you creeps. I'm your host. My name is Vinnie.

And joining me today in studio, as always, celebrating Pride Month all year long in his heart. It's hot cuckacarle. What is happening, Vinnie Paulina? How you do, my friend? Oh man, I'm glad to be here with you today. I see you're wearing a soccer jersey today. I am. As am I?

We're writing this off our taxes, right? This is our soccer show. German national team 7 to 1 victory yesterday over a country that I've never heard of and still don't know where it is. But impressive win in the World Cup either way. So we just had a little bit of a problem. Apparently our audio needed to be rebooted there. I think we should be good now, everybody. All right, people can hear us now.

Check, check, check. Yeah, yeah, yep. There we go. All right. Fucking stream yard, bro. Ah, you don't love that? They just have a new interface. I showed up today, all brand new interface.

I should have checked that. So that's on me. Good stuff. Way to start strong. Let's write this episode off under the soccer show. Sounds good, yes. All right. What a game yesterday?

What a... Deutsche, 7 to 1. What about America, Carl? I went down to... to East of Alexander to watch that game. You know, they blocked off the entire road and set up giant screens, had a whole viewing party. They didn't do that for the finals, the NBA finals?

No. No. Really? I mean, is this even part of New York where we are? We're pretty far away from Madison Square Garden. I don't know if you know that. Good point. But no, the U.S. beat a pair of gays,

four to one. Congratulations. USA, baby. Kicked them right in the dick. Very impressive, yes. Didn't think U.S. had it in them. You know, speaking of Dix, I got to ask a question. Sure.

Before we get the show started, then we do have results. We have Mahalia coming up. We have Danny backstage. Before we get to that, I brought something up on my show recently, where I said, I could never complain about being a podcast host. Because even though I put a lot of work into prep, it's a great job because I can always jack it while I'm prepping for the show. Not at my desk again. Well, I don't, while I'm prepping, not while I'm hosting. Okay.

Okay. And I mentioned that like, yeah, I have a great job. I can jerk off at work. And then someone called him to the voicemail. I said, Carl, everyone jerks off at work. And I have to know the answer to this. Do you jerk off at work? No.

I want to know if guys jerk off at work because I don't know. Is that a thing? No. Because then someone told me that there was like a lot of porn. Oh, it was Doug from Good Times Great Moos on the show. And he goes, yeah, I worked at this one place. And there was tons of porn in the bathroom. I was like, so people are just jerking off at work then?

I think that I'm not going to say no to every. Every job I've ever worked. Okay. This job, absolutely not. Okay, you don't jerk over to the comedy club? No, no. That's good. No.

What job did you jerk off at? Oh, man. Trying to think. Anyways, going way back. Call into the voicemail line. I want to know, do you jerk off at work? And if you do, what job do you have? Where are people jerking off at work?

I want to know this. Porn star. And don't tell me you work from home because that's my point. Right. All right, Carl, I am wildly off put by this conversation. Fair enough. But here's what I am ready to do. I am ready to find out who won last week.

And then I want to talk to a hell yeah, because today I'm spinning the goddamn wheel of consequences. You are spinning the wheel of consequences. It's exciting. And I'm very excited to be able to get this one done and quickly and put it behind me and hopefully move on to five points to finally make Carl suffer again the way this was designed to people. No shit.

The way we made this. It's supposed to work. I know. All right. So here today to tell us who won last two weeks episode of with, tell us who the creepiest gay is. Danny, and she's pushing them up, kids.

I'm here. Hi, guys. Hey, Danny. Good to see you. Oh, you. Good to see you. Do you jerk off at work, Danny? Um, does, do I?

Yeah. Or, yeah, I do. I do. I have. Yeah, interesting. Not really. Um, that's a really weird thing. though. I don't think I've ever heard anybody actually say that they've jerked off at work, but I mean, I guess if you're like on your break and you fucking need to let some steam off or something, just go to the bathroom.

So you said you did and then you said you didn't. So you haven't played with yourself at work before? No, I haven't. Not me. Okay. Do it. You don't have to do it to completion. I'm just saying like maybe you just get a finger in there or something. You don't do that at work? No. No, I've done drugs at work, but never that. Well, yeah, no shit. Everyone does drugs at work. Yeah. Nobody asked me that.

The question is, do you get high at work? Yes, we all do that. Yeah, no. I've never done that. I've never had sex at work either. I wonder how many. I know some people that have, have you? Oh, that's a good question.

I don't think I have. Yeah. Well, let's see. I work in my office at home, so I guess that doesn't count, but. I mean, you got a story to tell. Look at that smile. your face you got a story buddy you don't want to tell it i'm keeping my mouth shut you don't want to talk about sex at work all right here in this comedy club mouth oh which stage were you on

mouth shut in the rickles room wow that's hot no sir uh Danny would you please let me know who the creepiest gay is like we don't already know oh yeah that's what I was here for how shit Someone's got high at work today. Yeah, we got 54% of the vote for the creepiest gay guy. Gee, whatever. The first point of the new round goes to Carl. Yay! I just keep winning and winning and winning.

This is very exciting, many. That was the biggest sigh. Well, I'm going to tell you something right now. I'm coming for you today, son. All right, buddy. I'm coming for you today, son. Danny, where could everybody find you? Bring her a bad news, Angel of Death.

At Danny Desolation on Instagram, and there'll be others. But, oh, Vinny, I wanted to tell you, because since last time we talked about the ride, POV that we have a video of. Yeah. I wasn't able to, like, he somehow wasn't able to, like, he somehow wasn't able to like send it to me like we got to do some weird shit to do that i guess but um he took a video of me from the ground so i sent you that i emailed that to you if you do want to check that i didn't see that but i will take a peek and um i can't believe i missed it it was like a few

minutes ago like right before we got on so it's okay danny real quick what job uh did you have sex at Oh, it was a McDonald's actually. No shit. I didn't have sex. I messed around. Oh, okay. Third base? Can I get some fingers in you?

Yeah, there was a lot of trying to hide from the cameras in the back corner. Like, yeah, that was, it wasn't somebody I was dating either. It was like a, I guess, like a little fling I had. I'm not going to lie. I used to frequent McDonald's a lot. lot and I really don't have any fantasies about the employees there. Listen, I have to say that's a manager. That is such a great endorsement to work in fast food right there.

15 bucks an hour, you don't need it. If you're able to finger the chick on the friator during your break, I mean, I think 750's enough for you, right? Yeah, when I worked there, that's about how much it was. I think like 850 is what I made at the end of it. But that was like before my second kid was born. It was a long-ass time ago, really. Let's not bring up kids.

We're talking about fingering you right now. Yeah, no. I'm just saying that this is a first timeline. Yeah. Did he something did you buy it all? Because I'm worried about sanitation. I mean, he would love otherwise. Okay, yeah, yeah, that's a good point.

He took them off to push me up against something. I mean, what? Danny, I could talk to you all day. But we got a show to do. Mm-hmm. At Danny Desolation, everybody. Bye, Danny. Bye.

What a treat she is. If you want to hear more of her sex capades, you got to go on our Patreon or become a member of this channel because she did a like, ask me anything, episode that we did that was revealing. I'm not going to lie, Carl. Yeah. I'm uncomfortable with how horned up you are right now.

Oh, is that the problem? That's what I'm uncomfortable. You know what I'm uncomfortable? Danny getting figured at McDonald's with me? Maybe not with you, no, but all right. So listen, I said the bringer of bad news. Is there anyone who could possibly bring worse news

than the keeper of the consequences? Ladies and gentlemen, I would play her music right now, but it keeps getting a struck. It's my hell yeah. Yeah, buddy. Hey, hey, hey, it's good to be gay. How goes it, fellas? Oh, no.

Good to see you, Mahalia. I have to spin the wheel, Mahalia. I'm sure you're aware of this. Yes, yes, yes. Sorry to hear that, but glad to be here to witness. Now, here's what I've gone ahead and done. I've looked at our past consequences and our normal spaces on the wheel. And I've added a few of the new ones here, but we still have one blank space that I would like to discuss with everybody who's watching live right now. And with you, if you have any more suggestions from your email, here's where we currently sit. Number one is winner's choice.

Number two is attend a WNBA game. Okay. Which I can't think of any. I love that. Oh, man. I've been to a Las Vegas Aces game, but it's so fun. You and the three other lesbians had a good time at that game? Absolutely, we did.

Did you stay past halftime? Yes, we saw the game all the way through. They are champions, so no haters around here. The final score was 24 to 13. Ooh, high scoring. I think I got more points than that, but. Join the Jerry Banfield family. I love that one.

Jerry Banfield is out of fucking control right now, and he just started this new thing. I love that. So it's $50 a month. You have to become a member of the Jerry Banfield family. And I guess you get a 30-minute phone call you have to do with him. You do if you're one of the first 25. Okay, well, fingers crossed.

Yeah, I know. Probably will happen. Number four is open. Number five. I kept a date with a doll. Love that one. Yep, yep. Star Trek podcast with Casey Day.

None of us have discussed it with Casey Day yet. He has to do it. Yeah, but if I land out of that, that sort of has to happen. He has no choice. Yep, he has no choice. That number seven is actually incredibly appalling to me. This was a listener's suggestion, Trump spray tan. Not just the spray tan, a Trump orange spray tan.

Very specific they were. That's hilarious. Okay. I can't wait to see Orange Vinny. Oh, God. It was like an Oopalupa. Oh, God. I'm going to find out what I have to put on my skin so that shit doesn't stick.

Dude, we should go to a Syracuse game to make it seem like you did it on purpose. I am the Orggeman. Yep. Okay. These are all horrifying to me, but there's still one open space. So, my hell, yeah. What else do we have that we might be able to put on there? I think since you are spinning today, we should do some of the Vinny's.

specific entries that came in. You got a lot of love, a lot of love, much more love than Carl. Jesus Christ, you'd have to say that. Yes, she did. What a fucking bitch. I just got to be honest. Is Danny still here?

We bring Danny back. I'm kidding. So our consequence ideas specifically for you, Vinny, were to gain 10 pounds. Not doing it. Not doing it. Why not?

That's the best consequence ever. I'm not doing it. Dude, you know, fucking, do you know how much that would murder me inside to purposely gain weight right now after doing everything I've fucking done? I know, I know. Jesus Christ. It's funny. Could lose 10 pounds, gain it back, and it all evens out. Jesus.

It's true. My heart will explode in my chest. Ooh, we should definitely add that then. All right. What else you got? You can make a pizza for Carl from scratch on a live stream. No. Give Carl all of the money in your wallet right now.

I like that one. That's fun. I don't know if I want to do that. Clean all of Carl's Rochester bathrooms and live stream yourself doing it. Oh. I'm not going to be as fucking made. Interesting. I'm not cleaning Carl's fucking bathroom.

I think you should have to clean the bathrooms in Florida as well. With all that hard water. without a reverse osmosis system, no way. All five bathrooms didn't get clean, asshole. Fuck you. That could be a separate consequence on there, but for now, it's just Rochester. Okay.

And lastly, you have to French kiss Carl after he eats a do-do salad sandwich. Wow, what the other? It might be a loss for everyone, though. Fuck you! We're not making out. I know it's fucking Pride Month. We're not making out.

I've seen all of your creep off. I've seen all the creep off fan fiction and I'm not going for it everybody. Jesus Christ. Oh boy, I hate all of those. Jeez Louise. Yeah, I'm not a fan of any of those, to be honest with you. All right. Well, I guess keep sending them and we'll figure something out before the end of the episode.

Or we'll just leave four as in Vinny wins, Carl Spins. We'll just add that in there. That'll work. My personal favorite from the not Vinny specific, I liked the to shave down Carl's toes you have to give him a pedicure polish them off with a skirt coat because it's more manly than a painted color that's a good idea no yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm not touching those fucking things yep get in there buddy no get in there i want you to file them down no i want you to take your time with it too no i want i like the the big maybe a little massage in there car don't have a nice

round if i do it motherfucker if i had to do that i would not take my time i'd use a belt sander and i hope take off your fucking toes. I love that idea. Malia, you're smart. That's a good one. That's why I have my role as keeper of the consequences. All right. Well, let us know via whatever people today during the day.

Mahalia, where can everyone find you? God damn it. You can find me at Mahalia on Instagram, 5Ls, and you can also submit all of your creep off consequence ideas to creep off consequence ideas at gmail.com. Excellent. Thank you, my hell yeah. We'll see you soon.

Thanks again. She's a real treat. She is a delight, isn't she? Fuck, man. These are all terrible. I know. We got to get number four somewhere. How is the Star Trek podcast my least, like my most favorite?

I like that one too. Oh, my God. I don't want to talk about Star Trek with anybody ever. Casey Day is such a fucking bore, too. I'm just kidding. You're the best. We love you hack ride. That's going to suck.

That show's going to suck. Let's just do that. Fuck spinning the wheel. Let's just make you do that. Oh, my God, five. Do you like Star Trek? Did you ever follow Star Trek? So my cousin when I was a kid, right?

Pretty much my best friend growing up. Yeah. Huge Star Trek fan for some reason. So I learned a lot of it by osmosis, but I can't say that I'm a big fan other than getting really stoned and watching the original series and laughing at it. Original series is hilarious.

Yeah, watching that shit stoned is great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a fun time. I can't get into any other Star Trek. The original series is bonkers. It's so fucking bad. And the fact that people became huge fans of that thing, they're like, we have to make movies out.

It's incredible. How did that happen? A piece of shit. Bill Shatner is the worst actor on the face of the fucking planet. That show sucks out loud. It's so bad. You know what though? I really do enjoy one Star Trek thing.

There's one thing I enjoy. Yeah. Wrath of Khan. That movie's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That movie is really incredible because Captain Kirk is the worst captain at anything. The script doesn't make sense. None of it makes sense.

but it still works. It's so dumb. But honestly, I really like the original Star Trek series because it's so bad. It's fun to watch. Yeah. As long as we do the podcast about the original Star Trek series, I think that would be fun. I would like that too. It is Super Chat Monday.

We have not talked about that. Holy crap. Of course, we have the World Cup going on and Germany. Everyone's talking about Germany and how great they looked. But we should also talk about Super Chats. Hellraiser coming in. Night when he told John he's trans. Dad, I really need to get something off my chest.

Bits and Pete. Pieces, bits and pieces. Hey, Chris Primer gifted one creep-off channel membership. And you know what, Carl? You know what else he did? What's that? You know what else our pal Chris did? He visited us over at supertip.g.g.

Backslash creep. Oh. And he left us this fun thing. He said, Carl, should I resubmit the movie consequence I emailed you about a few weeks ago to the creep-off? I meant everything I said about it, everything. Yes. What is it? What is it?

I don't know what he's talking about. re-send it immediately. I get a lot of emails. I try. I really do try to keep up. But yes, resubmit that. Thank you. I appreciate it.

Dude, have you heard the new bumper that Mr. Magenta did for me? Yeah, I did. I think we're more like Monty Python's flying circus. We do bits and pieces, bits and pieces, bits and pieces, bits and pieces, bits and pieces, bits and pieces, bits and pieces. That's a good one. Do you know that Leo Gallagher would,

would lose his fucking mind if he heard that. Oh, yeah. He loses his mind over a lot of things. Well, I told you about the morning I spent driving him around where he explained to me how the Yakuza stole the rights to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie from him. Oh, I forgot about that. Yeah.

So putting the Turtles crossover into that would be extra salt in Gallagher's wounds. He really was mad about it. He was like, this guy, Sonny, something or other. That's great. He came in there and he's part of the Yakuza. He says, he goes, I had the rights to the teenage mutant ninja turtles, but the Yakuza took him from me. Oh, fucking Gallagher is such a gem. I was like, really?

He's like, yeah, these little fellas up from New Hampshire came to me and they said, Mr. Gallagher, could you help support us what we're trying to do with our little comic book? And I gave him $5,000. And he thinks that this money that he supposedly gave it. I mean, that's what he told me, gave him the rights to the teenage. Ninja Turtles. Vinny beat off when he worked the one and only day at the pizza place making pickle pizzas. That's correct. Yeah, did you?

Oh, yeah. All over the place. You know how that does for me. Joseph Collins 628. Danny would be the best happy meal. She crushes. You skipped one right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Great Star Guys pro show. Very buckman of you. FKB, Ola, Scola, Vote Carl. Oh, hi, Danny. Oh, that's why you skipped it. It says Vote Carl. I didn't see it. Now I see.

But he's a member, so, you know, I want to make sure we get it. He's a good egg. Drunk engineer, 205, five bucks. All right, spill it, Vinnie. Which room of the Carlson were you in when you took a knee in front of Florida? Oh. I was the main room on the stage. Tuki's unpaid staff, thanks to the two.

$100 to John's GoFund me, put it on the wheel. He shut it down. I'm going to cover that on Point-Dibble Point today. By the way, on Pointeis, Davene Pointe. It's on my channel. Adam Bush, Eric Nagel, Shulie, myself. Here's what I'm doing, Vinnie. This is exciting.

Remember easy for you to say? I've heard of it. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I listened to the audio book on your website, on your Patreon. Right. You know all about it. Yeah. We did that years ago on Patreon.

We broke down every chapter. I decided we should revisit it. So we're going to start revisiting easy for you to say on Point Damplepoint today. And I'm not pulling clips. We're just going to listen to it straight through. I'm very excited about it. All right. Thurman Hall Fave member for two months of roast with four people, Carl Picks and Carl.

I mean, you can't support me a little bit. Be like, that sounds great, Carl, I can't wait to tune in for a point demo point today. They just go, okay, who gets a shit? I mean, Carl, listen, we're talking about like Transformer 7 here, okay? Is Shaila Lboof still in it? No, it's not to somebody else that matters less. Okay. I got to listen to the fucking, that book again.

kidding me that piece of shit book I hate you so much I hate you so fucking much oh Carl's runs and some of the people and just say yes and just agree with him all the fucking time do I do I no this fucking asshole yeah I'm the asshole

okay a roast with four people Carl Picks and Carl we already did a creep off roast it was wonderful it's available on the Patreon yeah Pat Dixon headlined my new avatar stinks going to change it back. Yeah, that is a terrible picture.

Jackie Jackman, thanks to the 499. Same reason I love the show. It's so bad, it's fun to watch. Now, how about your two redact the first interracial kiss scene? That's funny. All right. Miss O'Hura. Well, here we go.

Perfect. Much better. Way worse. All right. It's a good picture. Fucking asshole. I love it. This show is a competition, Carl.

It is a competition, and we should probably get things started at some point, right? you ring that bell and let's do it. All right, we are doing the creepiest. T. T today. We did L's. We did G's. Now it's time for T's.

Yeah. We skip the B's because, you know, really, who cares? I know. Yeah, I give a problem with the A's, too. Which one? There's A's? Yeah. The Asexual?

Like, you're not part of the group. Oh, I don't even like sex. Well, this group's all about sex. Like, the whole thing. The whole point of this is who we have sex with. Who do the A's talk to at the parade? Right. That's what I mean.

They're like, ooh, you should put some clothes on. Okay, you don't like sex. Get the fuck out of here. You're just walking or going, I have no interest in any of this. Right. Yeah, I never understood why they were a part of this. Just wearing gray. Just misery.

Yeah. Okay. No interest in that at all. Okay. Yeah. God bless you. I am bringing James Blessant, who now goes by Michelle. Oh, my bell.

James was married to a woman. They had a couple kids. And James decided to transition to become Michelle. And because James transitioned to a woman, him and his wife got separated. Well, that's all it took, how to ruin that relationship? Yeah. Yeah, the wife was just like, well, I don't really want to be married to a woman. So I guess I'm out of here.

Well, James' daughter, nine years old, moves in with the mom. Okay. Because he loses custody. And she goes, by the way, Not all he lost. Right. Well, she goes, hey mom, by the way, you know, my dad, mom, Michelle? Yeah.

So she's been regularly molesting me for the past several years. And it just stopped in 2022 when they stopped living together. So there's a warrant for this guy's arrest because the mom's just like, well, we should probably tell the police about. us, you know? And, uh, yeah. And the, the ex-wife calls up Michelle and says, hey, Michelle, your daughter says that, um, you were having sex with her for the last few years. And, um, I'm probably going to tell, oh, this is James. Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Michelle's just like, oh, come on. What are we doing here? We're really going to talk about that. We're going to fucking, uh, tell, tell the police about this. I'm sorry, but you know I don't kiss and tell. So as soon as he heard about this,

he decided to destroy his phone, which contained, uh, pornographic images that he showed his daughter while abusing her that included nudes of his wife, her mom. Hey, look, did your mom spread eagle? Now, suck my dick. Fucking wild, right? That's a bad fucking day, bro. That's a bad fucking day. So, you know what?

Let's play my clip number one. This is Michelle getting arrested, where the police show up to Michelle. house okay hold out a second all right Michelle I need to let you know that you have a warrant for your arrest okay

why you step down here for me we'll get you some shoes okay what do I have a warrant for no you have a warrant for predatory criminal sexual assault okay so the police show up we got a warrant and Michelle's playing dumb

what did I ever do I think uh you know that whole sex with your kids thing. So, uh, she has a new fiance. And she gets her on the phone. And this is the conversation they have while she's getting arrested. Take a seat for me. Okay. Let me, how are you right? No, I'm getting arrested. Take a seat. Why? For that shit. Take a seat. I'm trying. Your own speaker. Okay. This is Sergeant Shively with the Bloomington Police Department. So Michelle, Michelle has a warrant for criminal.

sexual assault. So she's going to be going to the county jail. Why is she getting arrested? There has been like nothing. Okay, I'm just letting you know, listen for me. Okay, I'm letting you know that there was a warrant issued today. We are the middle, we are the middleman. I don't know anything about the case. We just go ahead and serve the warrants. Okay. So I'm letting you know that she's going to be going to the county jail. See, that's the problem with nine-year-old girls. They love to kiss and tell. You got to keep that shit on the D-L, you know?

Yeah, you know. Maybe you cross the line. You had to show them all the hot picks of mom. So the kids got to go around and tell everybody at school. Just, I mean, you're inviting this really. It's probably not a big deal, though. I'm sure to be able to bond out pretty easily. My clip number three.

Okay. There's no, there's nowhere to go. Do I have a bond, you know? Yeah. Well, you're warrant is a million dollars. So it'll be probably a million dollars, 10%, so that's $100,000. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying.

You don't need to go anywhere. I'm not getting out is what they're saying. That's so core. Nope. Definitely not. So during the interrogation, Michelle says, look at, I would never abuse children. My brother abused me when I was a young kid. And the cops like, well, yeah, yeah, that's actually how the cycle of abuse works.

Like that's typically what happens. You guys realize that all you're doing is giving us evidence, right? Yeah, yeah, exactly. So Michelle argues that, hey, listen, there's no way I was having sex with my daughter. I can't even sustain an erection because I'm on HRT hormones. So how do you think I'm fucking anyone, right? Right. Okay, things get worse.

And yes, my clip number four is where we see things get worse. And new at noon today, a Bloomington woman who was already in custody after being arrested in a sexual assault investigation earlier this year was just arrested on new charges this week. On Wednesday, 33-year-old Michelle Blessant was indicted on three new counts. Now, she's been in custody since the arrest on April 12th related to the charges involving... Hold on. She's not pulling it off. Even the anchor woman couldn't say it. She's like, that's Michelle, I guess? It doesn't look like a shell to me, but okay. It looks like Tom Holland, like if Tom Holland was a Mr. Potato Head.

Yes. It's hilarious. The victim, the first victim in this investigation. Earlier this week, Blessant was served with the new warrant related to this latest indictment. The new charges are predatory criminal sexual assault of a victim younger than 13, grooming, exploitation of a child younger than 17, and Blessant's original charges for the first victim are five counts. a predatory sexual criminal assault of a victim younger than 13.

Blessant remains in custody at the McLean County detention facility. So it turns out that it wasn't just the daughter he was fucking, but also his eight-year-old son, who he started fucking when he was four. So the daughter tells the mom, like, by the way, dad's been fucking me. And then dad gets arrested. You mean mom? Yeah, mom, too, gets arrested. And then the son goes, oh.

Should I tell you what happened to me? Because, yeah, he's been fucking me for like a while now. And so even more counts come up. Well, is that why you've been putting the towel down everywhere? Is that why my eight-year-old son has been carrying around that inflatable donut everywhere he goes? So, Michelle, this transgender pedophile is serving 87 years in prison for the forcible rape of his own two kids. But he was sent to a women's correctional facility. fucking Illinois.

This fucking monster was said to go live with women. How insane is that? It's not great. It's not great. But yes, so 87 years in prison eligible for parole in 2095. Now, what state did you say that was again? Illinois. Illinois, okay.

Well, Carl, we're going to Kentucky. All right, sounds good. By the way, I brought it this week. You guys all know it. Don't forget. Patreon.com slash the creepoff to vote. Don't be so sure, Carl. All right.

I would introduce you to this lovely lady. Have we covered this person before? I swear that's, that one's familiar. They look, a lot of them have a similar look. Okay. This is Dalton Wade Howard, Carl. She's hot. Also known as Chloe.

Yep. Howard legally changed is named to Chloe in 2018. Records from the United States Court Open are that, I'm sorry, forgive me, folks. the United States court for the District of Canvas, have a testimony from a special agent from the FBI. And all I really had to do today was just pull some of this for us. I don't want to get too far into the depravity here because people just had lunch.

So in 2023, they started looking into Chloe because Chloe uploaded 18 videos and 21 photos to the Synchronos cloud-based storage service between September and November of that year. The system flagged CP within those uploads, Carl, which alerted human moderators, which obviously got the FBI involved in the National Center for Missing Exploited Children. Who doesn't know? You put that shit on external hard drives or a thumb drive, and then your wife finds it if you're... Don't hide it in your weed. Yeah, yeah, don't find it in your weed like ESO did.

Or just don't have it. External hard drives. You don't upload it to a cloud service. fucking idiots. Which was attached to Chloe's Verizon account. Jesus Christ. So the FBI was very quick to get involved here. And he described the reported files in his affidated, noting that the videos included young children engaging in intercourse with each other, adult males, flip-flopping toddler girls, men ejaculating onto the genitals of babies.

and one particular string of videos showing being being inserted into the of a male baby. Babies hate that. It's hard to get adult women to get into that sort of thing. You know, you've got to really ease into it. Babies fucking hate it. The youngest victim was identified as a newborn girl. approximately six to eight weeks old. Jesus Christ.

Well, other newborn, the other newborn was no more than two months of age, was featured in 31 second clip being essayed by an adult man. Harrison would later testifying court that he found it difficult to listen to the audio on the videos found on Howard's Drive. He said all you could hear is babies screaming and crying. Yeah, they don't like, they don't like sex. Real quick, Gettie Van Halen, before we miss it with the $2 super chat,

says, looks like little lemmy. I just, I figured we should bring that up while the photos. How dare you? I disagree, hard disagree. Lemmy's the best. Yeah. So in February of 2024, the FBI agents began staking out Howard's suspected residents in Leavenworth, Kansas, and learned that Chloe had a baby with his ex-wife.

Uh-oh. A search warrant was issued, and Howard was confronted by agents the next day and subjected to questioning. But during the visit at the house, they sat down with Howard's ex-partner Macy, who stated she had been separated from Chloe for nine months, but they continued to reside in the same house. Now, they shared the house with Chloe's mom and Chloe's grandma. She also noted that... Who's the boss? No fool. And what a... Just a house full of ladies. Wow. Masey noted that she first sought to divorce Howard after finding cartoon CP on his phone. Okay.

And explaining that she had confronted Chloe about the image was that Chloe had become defensive and attempted to normalize the fetish in response. Now, here's the wrinkle. The wife, the mother of the baby, is also transgender. Oh, Jesus Christ. I fucking hate 2026.

And he told them that Chloe and him had not slept in the same bed for months. Ugh. But. So wait, a guy had this kid? But, you're telling me? Yes. But Carl, the good news is Chloe's maternal instincts have kicked in.

Okay. And Chloe would sleep with their 18-month-old son every night. Oh, no. Despite the fact that Chloe was frequently naked all the time when Chloe was in Chloe's room, Chloe was naked and slept naked and the baby was in the bed with Chloe. Now, the FBI was like, okay, can you show us Chloe's room? We have a search warrant. Yeah. So the poor FBI agent walked in and said, uh-oh, I recognize that comforter.

Oh, boy. Oh, no. Hey, this is famous. I saw this in a video. Yeah, a couple. A couple of them. Uh-oh. The FBI was later able to confirm that some of the CP abuse material that I described was filmed on Howard's phone,

was of his own infant son that include images of the child nude, also poised with his leg spread and his exactly. Jesus Christ. During the interview, Howard admitted to regularly seeking out anime CP and that he had viewed graphic

child essay abuse material as recently as 24 hours before the FBI came by. Jesus Christ. In fact, here's a fun little clip. Here's a fun little thing from the indictment. Chloe Wade had formed investigators they had viewed CP as recent as yesterday. Chloe Wade described CS AM video of a young boy laying down on his back in a woman wearing lipstick sitting down on the young boy.

Estimated the boy to be approximately eight or 11. Chloe Wade used this to pleasure themselves. Chloe Wade also described additional video of a one-year-old girl being flip-flop by an adult male. The girl in the video was really small, according to Chloe Wade. Chloe Wade told investigators that he was sexually thrilled momentarily. We were watching the video. Chloe waited for an informed investigators and had consistently viewed seeking out, sometimes downloading this stuff for years. So, uh, can I just go ahead and say, at least your person pled not guilty.

This fucking maniac's like, yeah, what's the problem? Yeah, yeah, this shit turns me out. Am I not allowed to jackhammer my 18 month old? Yeah. Is this still not America? Would you hurry up and die already? I still be cold. I'm sorry.

Oh, holy shit. But, uh, yeah, ladies and gentlemen, would you do me a favor and go to Patreon.com backslash the creep off and do the right thing and vote for your pal Vinnie this week. If you thought Carl brought it, then you don't just stay home this week. Excellent presentation, Vinny. I don't know. I feel fucking awful. Yeah.

You know what? We do this every year during Pride, and I will say the T's are always the creepiest fucking ones, right? Well, you know what next week is? What's next week? Pluses. Oh, what does that mean? Everything? Yeah.

All right. I'm just bringing an asexual chick and be like, this sucks. Doesn't want to fuck anybody. Yeah. What's the point of this? Got a vagina doesn't use it. Lame. Vote for Carl.

Probably not. Carl, that was a lot. That was a lot. I think we need a pallet cleanse. I think it is too. I think we should look at Super Chat. Super Chat Monday is happening right now. And people are participating, which we appreciate.

Tuki's unpaid staff says, you miss my other chat. Maybe it's because Vinny really. did beat off at the pickle pizza place. I'm going back here to look. No, we read that one. Oh, I did get it. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we read that one.

Okay. I think Vinny did beat off at the pickle pizza place. Oh, I'll met it. Preacher Bill, week news 25. My hometown news, is this a brush with greatness? Illinois is the California of the Midwest. Yes, it is. That's true.

Gaddy Ved Hale said it looked like Little Hummy. We got that one. And Brian Wokeman, 7681, has been a member for 12 months. Let's throw Navid. button can first. Yeah, I saw past in the chat, the great past, the great clipper who said, I would surprise Carl did not bring Ava. You know what? Now I am too. Keith Richards' liver 60-9 says, do a spin for me then. Oh, the spin is coming up later in the program. It's going to happen. Stick around. Keep telling us your consequence ideas, too.

Yeah, keep putting those in there. And obviously, please pay us. Supertip.g.g. slash creep. You know what? Well, here, let me choose where you can go to participate in the show. We do appreciate that. We actually have it working for the first time in all of June. It's pretty incredible, just in time. Which is great. You should be celebrating Pride Month with something called Super Tip.

Carl, you got some cop cam music for me? I can definitely play the cop cam music because I'm excited about my cop cam. Boom. I can't wait to see Carl's cop cam. Fight with the cops for no reason. Will you be? Please show me cause cop cam. Lose all your rights.

Ruin your life. I'd say boner guy is going above and beyond. He's been sending me lots of cop cams lately. He's been upset that I haven't been playing his. And so he sent me one that is fantastic. Oh, boy. A YouTube celebrity is at a luxury hotel in Miami and walking around the pool naked. And I'm actually keeping with the theme of the show today.

Oh, no. With this video, clip one. Police respond to reports of a disorderly guest at a luxury hotel in Miami, Florida, where a person is allegedly walking around the pool area naked and causing a disturbance. But what begins as a minor incident quickly escalates, resulting in felony charges, a viral arrest, and growing controversy over how the system treated one of social media's most recognizable faces. Oh, no, I have to pee. Oh.

Okay, so what the fuck? I don't know if you're familiar with this person. No, I can't say that I have Carl. Okay, well, fair enough. So my clip number two, the 911 call is hilarious. This is a security guard at this hotel. There's somebody here, causing a disservice on the restaurant level. Undressing, no clothes and everything and whatnot.

The person is naked? You hear them right now. Male or female? I don't know which one it is, but it's one of them. And she's throwing water on my foot. Hey, some of them start getting lied, dog, so I'm not the one, though. I'm not going to lie to you. I am not the one, my...

Okay. So, male or female, it's one of those. It's definitely one of those. I have no idea. Yes. Right. You can answer that question like Wendy. Exactly.

It's, well, there's a dick and tits. So you tell me. I have no idea how that works. I think they chose female? This is Nikita Dragon, who has 3 million subs on YouTube, 8 million subs on Instagram, big celebrity on the internet. That's a lot of people. Yep, clip three.

See what I'm saying, how do the noise going to put in? Security knocks several times without a response, but when the officer steps in and announces their presence, someone finally answers. Miami Beach Police, we need to talk to you. the door please. Obviously not. We'd have to talk to you. About the disturbance from earlier. Oh my gosh. This is 26-year-old Nikita Inguyen, more famously known as Nikita Dragon, a transgender beauty influencer and internet personality with a massive online following. But this time, Nikita is about to become the center of a very different kind of spotlight. Okay. So I was not familiar with this person either. It's not my thing to see how

trans people dress. I don't really care. Yeah, I'm really not interested in Nikita drag guns. Yeah. Beauty tips. Not interested at all. So the police tried diplomacy first, and that fails immediately. All right. We just came here to speak to you about your incident

from earlier. You don't speak to me. We want to let you know. Yes? As a collective. Are you sorry? I'm not sorry for anything. Oh.

For you threw water on me, man. All right. Off to a bad side. I don't think you're going to... I think you got a rough road ahead of you guys here. Yeah, so I guess he was throwing water on people, and that continues in clip five. Did this person think they were coming up to actually apologize?

I don't know. Okay. The next complaint, I guess, do you guys want her out? The person... I'm going to... If we get... If we get...

Don't do that. You're going to go to jail if you do that. You get it. You're going to say? Don't do that. Oops. Come on. Oh, no.

Oops. I don't take this. I'm sure. Go ahead. This is a crazy person. Or are they just too fun for the room? I think that whatever drugs this person is on, I want. What are the, what your PO box again?

Yes. Who are these dot com? Send what. ever drugs this person's on to my PL box. I'd appreciate it. Love it. I try anything that's powder. All right. Clip six. Jesus Christ. This woman is holding onto a bag, woman, man, I don't know, and does not want to let go of it. Negolish. Let go this. Say please. You're going to escalate this. No, I'm not. Let's go. For absolute no reason. Where's escalating? Listen to me.

Yes. We're giving you a lawful order. You are under arrest. We're asking you to let go of that. I'm not going to. Okay. I'm not going to. Take it from me. Okay. You understand that you're on the rest? Yeah, that's fine. Take it from me. Take my bag from my hands. Take the back from the hands. Don't do that. I'm not to, okay. Don't do that. There's no need for that. Don't do that. You do not have to do that. What are you doing? Can you please let go on the bag? What are you doing? I got you. I'm only responding to the gays and the girls. Please let go off your bag Don't make me

Ask somebody to smite your shit But Please don't do that Ceyton Salencio Leon Cilenceo Cillensio What's you just gonna

What the fuck This fucking idiot's so high But also This is that Aaron Imholte sex demon That's in her Yes Also I just think that like These YouTubers are always

performing Yeah It's just fucking obnoxious. You're like, all right, we're not streaming right now. Did this person think that they were, like, going to be filming something for, like, a collab? I think so. The fake cops are showing up and you just play it up. Yeah, I think so.

So they bring him or her outside and they bring a female officer to search him or her. And that's what before they bring her to the police station. I hope that female officer sues. I didn't want to touch his thing's dick. Yep. You have anything on you? Um, what kind of thing? Do you have any weapons or anything?

One of mass destruction, but see my leg, girl. Okay. Do you have anything else? No, just a dream and knowing exactly who I am. But clearly not everybody's, um. Okay. So, this person is... Oh, social media is so bad for all of us.

It's horrible for us. This is what's rewarded on social media. So this Nikita thing gets brought to the precinct. and not really dressed appropriately for going to jail. Where is that outfit appropriate? I'd like to know where... That's a great... It's a great question.

What ball are you at that this is what you're going to wear? Yeah, it's a great question. So they bring a change of clothes for him or her, and he or she gets changed in the bathroom here. Uh-huh. Close the door, okay? No, that's fine. Nikita begins to change into new clothing and continues to talk with the officer,

but the conversation quickly takes a sudden and unexpected turn. Are you going to put the shirt on? Yeah, of course. I'm just giving a second one. Don't rush me. I'm just asking, I'm not rushing. Okay, don't. Don't.

Don't. Just asking, I'm not rushing. Okay, don't. Put the pants on. Put the pants on. Put the pants on. I am showing mercy. Because even the weakest of us is stronger than the mightiest.

Put the pants on. Okay. And they're on. Okay. So, sister. I'll put him on all in I will But let me move this

Because it's hurting my Okay Okay Yeah I had the same problem Putting these pants on today It's fucking having a massive hog It's really just a pain in the ass How would you know?

Turns out So Apparently the bag that this person brought There were panties Which you know I mean with that big cock You'd think panties wouldn't be all that comfortable

But The panties are missing and Nikita's not having it. Oh. Anything else in here? No. Oh, I got panties. Go ahead.

There's no panties in here. There's no panties in here. You have lip loss. I'll let it go. I'm going to let it go. I'm going to let it go. Go. Get out of my...

Please. I will show... I will show... What did I say about who runs the show here? I work the show everywhere. No, you don't. Yes, they too. Do something about it.

No, you don't. Do something about it. Finally, my pennies. Because I got it came from you. I have no idea where your pennies are. I just brought you here. Is this PCP? I've never done PCP.

I don't try it. That attitude of I run the show everywhere. Yeah, your fucking handcuffed to a bench regard. You're not running any show right now, you idiot. I honestly believe you should be able to just go use a nightstick on their hand. Oh, yeah. Just fucking break a hand. or do something just say no you don't run shit so this gets very confusing there's a female officer who's kind of like writing up whatever the report is and this fucking Nikita thing is screaming and carrying on about it and i'm getting very confused about what how this person identifies okay oh you're being so mean to a trans girl i can't believe you as a woman are not going to validate my you're the one that started out you're challenging my womanhood let's go

You challenge my way to sit down. Do you want to challenge my woman? I don't even got to get up out of here. What's up? How am I challenging a woman? Please tell me. You want to fuck up? Come here.

Come here. Now, come here. Oh, you're not. Come here. Oh, you want to hide behind? Oh, you want to hide behind there? Oh, you want to hide behind there? Charis!

I got a fucking army at my fias. I am unburnt. Try it. Girl, this is not Game of Thrones. I gotta say, this police officer's engaging a little bit too much. Oh, yeah? Oh, what did I do? Oh, really?

It's like, why are you even talking this fucking lunatic? What are you doing? It's ignore it. You're not, you have to confirm the womanhood, though. Then maybe. Okay. I'm glad you said that. I'm glad you said that because...

You're a beautiful woman. In my clip 11, chill the fuck out. Things change very quickly. Okay. Because at the end of the day, at the end of the month. The day.

My 6 says M for male. Mail up. And like I said, this is a man's world. This is a man's world. So this person could change gender's mid-conversation. That's impressive. I've heard of people like, it depends on how I wake up,

if I feel like masculine or feminine. Not this one. Is this the gender fluidity that we've heard all about? Very fluid. In fact, fluid comes into, conversation a few times. Holy shit. Hold on aside. Stone man. I don't generally indulge the free chat, but it is Stone Man.

You have to kill it with fire. Yes. I'm sorry. I got me. So this person is not like being handcuffed and finds a unique way to get out of the handcuffs. Really? Yeah. That's not going to be good. Nope. Give me water or I will rain right the fuck here.

You want to step to me again? Let's go. Let's go. Is it worth it? Yes. You don't think you're going to lose a bunch of followers like that? Nope. Nope.

They will scream my fucking aim. Nikita begins spitting on the handcuffs, attempting to slip free of them. She knows how to do that. Holy shit, spitting out of the heck, you never heard of such a thing. I'll try to take the handcuff off. You're going to get a handcuffs on the other hand too.

It works It fucking works It broke Oh, Trudeau Holy shit She's out of her head cuff What the fuck is going on?

Hold on Tell me she goes nuts right now Because like this cop Is that close And now she's technically Could get away Yeah And she's just going

It broke oopsies Yeah, isn't that weird The demeanor Completely changed Like oh I guess I'm free now Yeah this is a crazy person This is a crazy person So at this point

Police come in handcuff her other hand to the bench and she takes her pants off. Oh. I don't know why I'm saying she. He takes her pants up. It's a male. Officers leave the room momentarily and seconds later Nikita performs another foul act of defiance.

Oh no, I have to pee. Here I go. Oh no. Oh. That's fun. Like how they had to blur out the peat. Yep. That's fun. Oh, no. All right.

So she's Chinese. She played joke. She goes to pee. Jesus, Christ, car. And so what they do next is they drive her to the jail. Now they're going to book her and throw her in jail. And guess what she does in the van on the way over her Cup 14? The officers are soon allowed entry and begin waiting in the drop-off area for the intake process to begin.

But as the minutes pass, Nikita's behavior once again begins to draw attention. mention. Nikaida, are you pink? Fri-ne, bro. Does she pee on you? No, not me. You went to call the gas for the van, too. Godmint, man. She just pissed every.

God damn it, Nikita. She's just pissing everywhere this bitch. You know what this reminds me? This reminds me of walking my dog olive. Yep. Every other tree. She's got to stop and pee on it. Right.

It's real pain in the ass. All right. Clip 15 is the final clip on here. And we're going to see Nikita continue to be an. asshole to all these police officers and then we'll find out what the charges are. with felony battery on a police officer, misdemeanor battery, and misdemeanor disorderly conduct. Bond was said at $2,000, though Nikita was ultimately released on recognizance.

During the bond hearing, Nikita claimed to have been placed in the mail section of the facility and requested a transfer. The statement sparked controversy as Nikita is legally recognized as female, despite reportedly telling both police and correctional staff Nikita identifies as male. Interesting. It's so obnoxious. I actually have come up with the solution to decide how to house trans inmates. Thank you. Please. What's the solution?

It's very simple. Okay. Was the penis used in the crime? Oh. Interesting. Did you use your penis in the committed of the crime that you were sentenced to? Right. Because my creep today, Michelle Blessant, raped her, his children.

Right. And then was putting a female correctional. under my rule, male. I would agree with that. Right. It makes a lot of sense. Right. Now, Nikita Dragon here used his penis to pee all over the floor.

Right. In the jail. So, male's prison. Wasn't charged with that, though. But then you got to think about Lisa Boswell. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And Lisa went to prison.

But was all jerking off and stuff over all that shit. In a man's prison, it was beat up a lot, but was jerking off over panties. So, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think your rule works. Yeah.

Like, if you just were stealing shit and you're a trans, person. Yeah. You know, maybe women's prison. Sure. You're a pussy. But, you know, other than that. That was a good cop cam, Carl. I thought that was great. Thanks, Boter Guy. Thank you, Bordor Guy. Very appropriate for today's show. Let's do some voicemail, shall

we, Carl? Let's go. The creep-off voicemail segment is brought to you by the City of Syracuse. After the big next win, there were reports of stabbings, shootings, and even school buses being set on fire. Or as we in Syracuse like to call it, Amateur Night.

See you in Syracuse. Yeah, New York fans really do suck, don't they? I never. People are not liking Knicks fans right now. Dude. Dushbags. You guys can't handle winning at all. You got one.

You want to be happy for these teams that, like, don't fucking win one for a long time. Like, even if Buffalo won a Super Bowl, I don't know if I'd be as annoyed. Interesting. Well, just the behavior. I don't think they're going to burn down fucking half of Buffalo. No, we're not going to beat up anyone who's wearing a football. Broncos jersey. I hope they all just.

That's the fucking dumb as shit. You got someone who has a Spurs jersey on? What are you doing? Yeah. I honestly believe that and hope that if the bills ever do win a Super Bowl, at least half of their fan base will set themselves on fire by accident. Probably, yeah. And that'll be fine.

I would imagine some kind of barbecue mishap. That'll be fine. Honestly, this idea that you like beat up a guy who's wearing a Spurs jersey, basketball players cannot fight. So why are we bringing fighting into any of this? If you ever see a basketball brawl, it's embarrassing. Yeah, they fall right down. Oh!

It's just fucking haymakers and missing. You know what, man? I'm going to tell you this right now, Nick's fans, and I'm not just saying this because I'm a salty Celtics fan. You are very fucking lucky. You got the Spurs instead of the Thunder. It's all I'm going to tell you. Remember that.

I would agree. Those fucking Spurs cannot shoot in the fourth quarter. All right. I met the point guard for the Celtics this weekend when I was doing golf hecklers. That's cool. I'm taller. on him. No, you're not. I'm just like, we're about almost the same height. Holy shit.

He's not a big guy and he has the energy of a child. That's awesome. He's like, hey, you want to get a picture? I was like, yes, Mr. Pritchard, I do. Oh, that's exciting. I was so happy. Howdy guys? Blackbread here. So, I'm going to call up podcast Prophet. That's an old

internet story like that. And then that's also totally not how that fucking works. And I found out by watching the fucking Wang video. So, go check that out. I don't remember what that series is called. Something like fucking old internet stories.

Tales from the internet. That's what it was. But, yeah, that was debunked long ago. Are you telling me you know the guy, though, from the fake story? Anyway, now that's that one. Wow. All right. Wow.

People calling out podcast profit. Danny's asking you in the chat, how tall are you? I bet you're six feet, right? I am six foot. That's what I would have guessed. Carl's creep this week was all I needed to prove to me that if you are born with the name Alan Ginsberg, you are a fucking creep. Love the show. See you.

Well played. Thanks for listening, sir. Hey, Carl and Vinnie. This is Amishavan. This is how I talk. Hey, Amishav. I feel like there's been a massive missed opportunity that the creep off should have laid claims to already. You're the obvious choice for the bits and pieces joke or bit or whatever.

For example, what's the best way to dispose of a pedophile? A wood shipper. Bits and pieces, bits and pieces. Or what's the best way to store a hooker in the freezer? Bits and pieces, bits and pieces. Okay. Good stuff. Thank you.

We already do it. Danny, I'm 511. Thank you for asking. You're not 511, are you? Yeah. Okay. Why, what do you think? I think I'm taller than you.

Yeah, you're 6' footing up 511. You are taller than me. I feel like I'm taller than an inch taller than you. No, you just wear hats. Shut up. Okay. I'm 511. He's 5-2, everybody.

I will show you my driver's license. Oh, that's going to convince me. Hey, I hope I get this in by the time you guys are ready to decide the consequences for the wheel. I still insist very strongly, trying to insist on you very strongly that you guys do the Unkey-Dunkey Bologna Slicer album. Please, it's so bad. It's so bad. It would really be an amazing consequence and hope Vinny gets stuck with it. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.

I got the email from this gentleman. Do we want to put the hunky-dunkey baloney slicer on the wheel? Maybe. I'm not opposed to it. All right. I don't know what it is. We'll find out. All right.

Last voicemail, Carl. Hey, it's hockey. To go with jerking off at work, I do porter potty. And you would be absolutely amazed how many adult toys and goo I find in these motherfucking things. I don't understand how you can sit in a hot fucking little shell that just reeks of ass and get horny. But believe it or not, it happens. All right. Don't come to school tomorrow.

Interesting. I do believe that. I'm the host of the creepoff. I believe it. Yeah, okay. The hunky-dunkey album. Hey, Carl, I left a suggestion on the creep-off voicemail that the consequence should be listening to the Unkey-Dunkey album.

Here's the album. Maybe you can play a snippet of it and give some background. All right, we play a little bit of this and see what you think. So far, I hate it. Yeah, this is not starting off well. Ladies and gentlemen, comic sensation of the nation, Unky-Dunkey the Bummoony Slicer! Dunky!

What the fuck is this? Okay, okay. Wednesday night, garbage night. And Mortimer Quirk, Mike Kirk, is on the phone for an hour and a head. talking to his girlfriend, Vicky. They just had another fight. Otherwise, they would be talking in the hallway, more longness.

Okay, that is sweetened. Why are people laughing at any of that? You don't realize that's sweetened? I just said it's sweetened. All right, put another wheel. Put another wheel. Let's go. Want to know what the fuck that is.

Let's put another wheel. All right. if anybody comes up with anything else. But real quick, before we jump into the scum parade today, we got a couple super tips. Nice. Both creeps are kitty didlers? Is this the easiest creep off category of all times?

No shit. It's amazing what the teas are up to. Thank you for the fiver. Distringa, thank you. I take the day off and I get to see you guys live. Do I have to watch you on Patreon to not hear the beeps? Yeah, so stable. Why no stuttering Juan voice?

You can do a whole creep off on him. The bleeps were a comedy thing. They were for a fact. That was for effect. Because it's really fucking awful with the monster to that child. I'm sure you can figure out what it was. You know, drilling his bottom with a dildo and then trying to eat in it for more CP from people. Patreon.com backslash the creepoff vote for Vinny.

Principal uncertainty came in with a fiber. Carl, which keeps you up at night more. Creating the dabbler versus your time is a baby slayer. Millions died. Definitely creating the dabble first. Keeps you up at night. Yes. Thanks, another five bucks from Principal Uncertainty.

Thanks for finally proving that this is not a mental illness. You're welcome. You are welcome. Principal Uncertainty. Good to see you, buddy. And little little thanks to the 499. Vinny Food FMK. You must eat one every day.

Eat one once a year. Eliminate one completely. Pizza steak fried chicken. You beat Carl this week, Spend. the wheel. All right. So the game is, eat one every day, eat one once a year, never eat one again. Pizza, steak, fried chicken. What do you got? Steak once a day. Um, pizza once a year, fried chicken never. I think I'm

with you on that. I think that's the right answer. Yeah, that's how that would go for your pal Vinnie. It's good. All right, kids. Get the carbs out of there. Cut the carbs out. Who are you telling bro? We're fucking losing weight over here, bitches. Who is? Who is? Shut up What size is that jersey? I don't know, man It looks like I'm on the team, doesn't it? Sure does.

We're on the teams together. You know what? I'm in a good mood today. I feel like playing a little ocean man For the Sky Parade today. Let's do it. Skull parade. Take me on a raid

of these fuck charades that these creeps have made. Skull parade Vinny and Carl going to tell you about some fuck shit. Skull parade. Like stories of a kid Fucked by his mom or dad

Soaking up the blood of a cats Cup parade Carl We got to start off today with a baby thrower But I can't play our normal baby thrower music Because as we've discussed We constantly get barraged with fucking copyright bullshit Right

So our pal Alex compiled this from past shows for us That da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da We have a baby thrower Bap, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. Perfect. Thanks, Alex. Thank you, Alex. All right, let's talk about this broad. Her name is Lisa Pearson.

She's 42 years old. And she was arrested after reportedly admitting to police that she threw her 10-month-old daughter out of the second-story window over their house. Now, family members told officers that Pearson was experiencing a severe postpartum mental health episode that started days before the arrest happened. What a wonderful family that didn't step in. all that just left her with the kid. They tried a little bit.

Okay. Well, according to the Baton Rouge Police Department, Pearson's family noticed the shift on May 24th. They claimed she was acting erratic and abnormal. The affidavit states that Pearson was isolating herself, not sleeping, sending cryptic text messages to her family and friends. Like, how can babies fly? Yeah, yeah. I think my baby's going to grow wings.

Due to the changes, family members told officers they were taking shifts to stay with Pearson and monitor her. Pearson was with another adult when the incident happened. The witness told officers that Pearson was singing to her child moments before he heard the baby scream. Unfortunately, she was singing the Superman theme song. Splat! He found the 10-month-old on the patio with bruises to her arm and back. He said the child had landed in a rose bush.

Jesus Christ! And rolled out to the concrete. Unbelievable. This kid just got out with a couple of bruises? I'm telling you. It's a half-lucky kid. Wrong mom. No, that's impressive.

But it's a hearty baby, Ms. Pearson. Fuck, yeah. Mrs. Pearson's baby boy. The baby was driven to the OLL Children's Hospital for evaluation. Pierce was taken. Kick the baby. Kick the baby. Buy ambulance to a hospital for treatment and then booked into the Baton Rouge Parish Police Department.

Now, here was the clickbait that they used on this article. She told the police that God told her to do it. not telling anyone how to prejudice religion. Everyone can do their own thing. But if God tells you to throw your baby out a window, maybe like question, is this God? I feel like maybe this isn't God. See, here's the problem with the Bible. And I'm going to tell you this right now.

I mean, there was some crazy shit that God was up to. That's true. If you go back to the story of Abraham and Isaac, do you know this story, Carl? I don't. Okay. To sum it up for everybody, Abraham waited a really, really long time to have a kid. And he finally had a kid. he was like in his 90s supposedly when his first son was born sure um god says to him hey you know how i gave you

that baby you wanted and you know because we're pals and i love you i want you to take that baby i want you to take your son who's like 11 at this point like grown to love part of the family up there and i want you to sacrifice him to me blood sacrifice stab him take a knife fucking cut his heart out for me would you and uh abraham was like well all right and he takes his kid up there, puts him on the rock, lifts up his knife, and then God says, Stop Abraham. I don't want you to kill your son. I just wanted to see if you were faithful enough to do it.

That's a story that's in the Bible that they preach to people. And that's these mentally ill people. Where do they get these ideas? I don't know. The fucking Bible? God's a fucking prick, isn't he? Just fucking with people all the time. That God said, psych.

Not. I mean, holy fuck. By the way, she couldn't even kill her 10-month-old baby. God's going to be pissed about this. I gave you one fucking direction. I would love to see her argue with God. You said just to throw him. I gave you one fucking direction to murder this kid,

and this kid just got a couple bruises on its arms, you idiot? What a failure. Yeah, she sucks. That's why I love mankind. All right, Carl, going down to Louisville, Kentucky. I'm taller than that, man. Yes, yes, I am. It's about right.

This is Christopher Gallagher. He was arrested Friday in charge of sexual crimes against animals and tampering with physical evidence. You see, someone couldn't get in touch with Gallagher. She checked the home security cameras and saw him engaging in a sexual act with the dog. See, if I was fucking my dog, I don't think I'd have security cameras set up at my house.

I think what happened is Gallagher's wife was away. And she kept calling him, but he was balls and, deep in a fucking poodle. Sure. And he didn't answer. So she checked the security cameras. And there he is fucking having a time. And then she calls him and is like, hey, Chris, is there a reason you're fucking the dog?

Yeah. And he's like, what? And he goes and he deletes the security footage as fast as he can. Right. Yeah. He's like, oh, you saw that happening? So he's going to get a divorce. But if I were him, I'd lead into it and use this as his Tinder profile pick.

You know, it's a conversation starter. loves animals I'm a dog guy no peanut butter or nothing Gallagher pleaded not guilty at his arraignment last Saturday and posted his $10,000 bond

he's expected back in court on June 15th for a preliminary hearing which is today I got to say oh yeah by the way I paid my quarterlies today which is fucking awesome I love the government so this guy fucked a dog

and his face is plastered all over this town's local news. This guy will never get his dick sucked again. There's not a woman in the world who wants to go down to that dude who fucked a dog. Now, let me ask you this question. Let's take this a little step further. Okay. What if you're the woman?

And like this dog, right? Yeah. That's sex with your husband. Do you get to keep that homewreck her out? I think I'd keep the dog. You think you keep the homewrecking dog? I'd keep the dog lose the dude. Really?

This is the most embarrassing crime ever. I can't even imagine what it would be like. If this were for me, it would be all over social media. That'd be rough. No pun intended. Come on. I see what you did. Come on.

I see what you did. All right, Carl. Let's talk about this fellow, shall we? This is 57-year-old Benjamin Hansen. He was a funeral director at the Seminette Funeral Home. They're never weird. And he was tasked with cremating, a woman named Alice Peterson after her death. in 2001.

Now, Peterson died of natural causes, but Hanson picked up the woman's body at the hospital and then removed her head with a handsaw in his truck. I would have done that somewhere else. Correct. You know? Go to the park or something. Now, he reportedly said he did this to see if it made him feel anything.

Did you get a boner or not? Nothing. All right. Hansen then cremated the body, right? But kept the head. Okay. Before burying it in a cemetery, eventually digging it back up and then throwing it down a ravine. There's no way that happened.

Are there any fucking editors over there at truecrime news.com? You want to tell me he buried a fucking head, dug it up and threw it down a ravine? Why? Why would he do that? Now, this whole thing. Yeah. This whole thing has been growing because he went off the deep end in 2002. He was fired from the funeral home after being suspected.

stealing from the business. Right. In addition, he, in addition, he swerved his car at a person who was hired to replace him. It's fine. And I was served with the harassment order, but was denied. Now, they also report that the Boy Scouts found the head in a ravine the following year, but it was not identified until 2022 with forensic technology. Boy Scouts found the head?

Yes. So there's going to be a standby me reboot? Correct. Okay, cool. Hanson was arrested in December of 2025 after Peterson's head was connected to the funeral home. He was sentenced on June 2nd to 90 days in jail followed by four years of probation. The head was connected to something at least.

The head was connected to the trauma of the Boy Scouts. He's been found guilty of hiding a corpse. In addition, he's been banned from working in the funeral industry. Probably a good idea. Yeah, not a great guy. Well, he didn't fuck it. That is that. It's got that going for him.

He's going to write a book. I don't know if you know that. Oh. Yeah. What's going to be called? How to get a head in business. I'm going to see myself out now. You get nothing.

Good day, sir. All right, let's be Daniel Olet. He's 47 years old, and he is a newlywed, Carl. Oh, good for him. Yeah, he is. Congratulations. He was also arrested over the weekend after authorities say he threatened the woman he married into marrying him and cut her hand open in what she described as a, quote, satanic ritual.

Okay. Daniel A allegedly reassured police that he was a, quote, really safe guy after officers found him with the woman in an olive garden in Newtington, New Hampshire on Saturday. Can you imagine? How many Satanists eat at Olive Garden? What's going on here? Probably more than you'd want to know.

I guess so. Yeah, I guess. Probably more that work in the kitchen. Fair enough. But could you imagine, you know, being on your honeymoon, trying to have a nice meal and then the cops show up? You're like, officer. I did not get my breadsticks in yet.

Listen, we're about to take a tour of Italy. What are you doing to me? Have you ever heard of a thing called chicken parmesan? Oh, boy. This whole thing was really wild. Newton police officer said via email the Pennsylvania State Police requested a welfare check after hearing from the woman's mother who had tracked her cell phone to the Olive Garden.

Newton officers responded to the restaurant shortly before 11.30 a.m. And the woman came running out in tears upon seeing the cruisers. officers noted a pair of cigarette burns on the woman's legs and she reportedly told him she wanted to file an emergency protective order Olai allegedly insisted he and his wife were just out for We're just out for lunch Yeah what's the problem here? I just got married and we're having some food Yeah now we were just out for a meal telling the officer the woman was upset because her mother

Was attempting to force her to join a religious cult back in Pennsylvania Yep the fucking in-laws and always the problem We're all just fed up with dealing with it but the woman told another story entirely she allegedly informed officers that Olai had reached out to her more than one week prior threatening to come down to Pennsylvania and hurt her and her and her family if she did not drive up to meet him. It was not immediately clear how the pair knew each other. When the woman arrived in New England, he allegedly slipped a handgun into his pocket and announced that they would be going to the town hall in Lee,

New Hampshire to get married, or he would make her pay. What can't guns do? That's awesome, man. I think this is Chapter 6 in Jerry Banfield's book about how to get a wife. According to the affidavit, he made the woman drive him around in her car on Friday as he sat in the passenger seat with a loaded gun aimed at her. He allegedly told her that the religious cults were following them. You know, it's not a great way to start a relationship, but you're going to get your foot in the door somehow, right? Eventually, maybe you don't have to have the gun on her 24-7.

She still hangs out. I don't know. Yeah. Inside the car, Newton police purposely found, purportedly found a copy of the Satanic Bible. belonging to O'Lay. Authorities Ledge O'A had sliced the woman's hand with a box cutter earlier on Saturday morning to go forth with what she described as a satanic ritual. But, you know, he took her out to eat after.

And the guy's interesting. You know, say what you will, a lot of the problems that guys have who are in cells, like that guy who's fucking his dog or whatever, they're just boring people. Like, women are attracted to, like, interesting things. And so if you're a guy who, like, I don't know, pulls a gun on your girl every now and again, cuts her hand with a box cutter.

I mean, he's very spontaneously romantic. I mean, he surprised her with a wedding. Right. That's what I mean. Like, this girl, she might be complaining right now to the police, but she's telling your girlfriend's back at home, like, oh, he's just, I never know he's going to do next. It's just so fun.

Every day is a new adventure. Right. He faces charges out of Kitterrey, Maine as well, though the exact counsel when he could clear. His criminal record includes a 2005 conviction for domestic violence-related offenses. the judge overseeing his arraignment reporter that Olai appeared to be following and responding appropriately, though at one point he made a comment that may indicate some impairment of thought.

They don't know whether or not he's completely crazy or not. They're going to put him through the crazy test, I guess. I mean, he's just a Satanist. Leave him alone. Yeah. You know? But he's not really a Satanist because the Satanists are like, do as thou will, but don't bother anybody else. Is that what they say?

Yeah. Oh, I thought, like, being a satanic cult meant to you, like sacrifice babies and stuff. No, Church of Satan. They're a different thing, dude. It's all philosophy. Really? Yeah, you didn't know that?

What metal bands do they listen to? All of them. Buried alive? Probably. Shout up to Danny. Oh, she got so happy when you said that. I listened to it. Oh, boy.

What a day, everybody. What an episode we've had. Make sure you vote this week at patreon.com. We're going to be back Friday with the bonus episode. I apologize for my cold. It will not go away. I apologize. It sucks.

I stink. Yeah, but we still like you. Anything on the Super Tip website? I'm going to check right now, buddy boy. Anyone want to give us money on Super Tip? It's the funnest way to give us money. Cab and cheese, thanks for the five bucks. The story of Abraham and Isaac is humanity's first recorded prank.

That is a good prank. God really does have a sense of humor. Norm McDonald had that joke years and years ago. Which one? Where the guy murdered his family and put all the bodies like a duffel bag. And he said, Satan told me to do this. And he's like, what if like, it was just a prank, and the guy's like, hey, that was me.

I was pretended to be Satan. You actually did that? Fucking idiot. Ah, it's the devil. Put your family in a bag. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pretty good. Dummy?

Poor Norm. God bless him. I didn't tell that correctly, but you get the point. I do. Carl, what an episode. What an episode. Tune into Point Devil Point on the Who Are These Podcast channel at 4 p.m. time. We have much to talk about with Adam Bush, Eric Nagel, Shulie, and myself.

Yeah. Also, Transformer 7 is available on Netflix. I hate you so much. Thanks for tuning in everybody. We'll see you on Friday. Watchpoint dabble points. Oh, it's 15 this Friday. Come celebrate Vinnie's birthday. Oh, I stop it. This Friday. It sounds like Carl Miss. Can I also thank Alex. He sent me a package. I'm going to open it on my birthday. Oh, we got to spin the wheel. Do we forget to spin the wheel? What the fuck? You try to get out of here without spinning the wheel?

All right. All right. What the fuck are you up to over there? Come on and give that wheel a spin. Someone but five wins. Spin it so the pain can now begin. And if you're pissed that people vote, don't whine because you'll be just fine.

Don't watch your co-host glow. So come on spin it right. Round and round, the brown turns upside down, the creep off is one fucked up show. Go to church or pass the spin, or send money to the hitman. Clubfoot, panache, then he is still fat. Let's see the consequence. All right, Carl, what are we going to do with number four? I think you have to do a review of the Unkey Dunkie album.

All right. That's fine. That is a live shot of the wheel, everybody. That is my hand. There it is. Here it comes. Spinning the wheel. Number four is the hunky donkey album.

And there it goes. Where are we going to land? Number six. Star Trek buckets! Yes! Oh, fuck! What we're hoping for? Yes.

All right, I'll text Casey after this. and tell him that he has to do a podcast with you. He's to be so bad. Oh, man, what if he doesn't want to do it with me? What if maybe DJ Electropan will come out of retirement. That'll be a part of it. Does anybody want to be on my Star Trek show? Yeah, Casey Day.

Trek in the universe with Vinny and Casey. That's awesome. I'm excited about this. Oh, Jesus Christ. All right. Fantastic. Can we leave now? I'm excited.

Thank you. Fuck. Don't you have a consequence that still do? No. Should you just spin twice or something like that? No. What consequence do I've left to do? Wait, hold on a second.

What was the last one? So you had the paid podcast hitman that you wheezzled out of. Right. And then what was the other one? I did the watch all the Rosie O'Donnell stand up. You did watch Roseo O'Donnell stand up? Yeah, there's a whole live stream on the fucking thing. Oh.

Stupid idiot. I've not seen that. Is that true? Yes. I watch so much fucking Rosie O'Donnell stand up. Okay. You fucking. Why do I not know about that?

Because you're a dumb ass who doesn't care about his own show. Good point. Bye. Bye. Bye, everybody.