The Creep Off - Episode 325: Steel Shark

Episode Date: August 10, 2026

Karl and Vinnie head into the garage to find the creepiest grease monkey! We’ll also fire up another edition of Karl’s Cop Cam, march some fresh scumbags through the Scum Parade, and make several arguments that probably won’t hold up under even the slightest scrutiny!Don’t forget to vote for who brought the biggest creep at patreon.com/thecreepoff.  Check out this week’s scum parade stories here: https://nypost.com/2026/07/30/us-news/naked-man-found-hiding-in-fresno-plasma-center-ceiling-resists-arrest/https://nypost.com/2026/08/01/us-news/florida-dad-allegedly-murdered-infant-with-leaf-blower/https://www.fox5atlanta.com/news/brookhaven-police-woman-arrested-after-kittens-thrown-from-vehiclehttps://cbs12.com/news/local/florida-crime-news-dope-smoking-pastor-accused-of-sexually-abusing-teen-exposing-him-to-hiv-polk-county-grady-judd-pastor-arrested-child-grooming-online-grooming-instagram-cyber-tip-eagle-lake-sexual-abuse-14-year-old-victim-hiv-exposure-hiv-disclosureThe score is currently Vinnie 3 - Karl 4 – Guest 4 Want more of the madness? Support the show on Patreon, Supercast to snag exclusive merch and get an extra bonus episode every week!Don’t forget you can leave us a voicemail at 585-371-8108You can follow our results girl Mahalia @mahellllyeahYou can follow our Results girl Danni on Instagram @Danni_Desolation

You're listening to the Carl Network. If you're a kid, don't get on here, okay? See, that's how you do a disclaimer. You tell the kids that get out to fuck off the damn page. Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things. You're going to give the people what they want.

Sensation, horror, shock. I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive and I'm not backing down. Cuckoo! I denounce it. Disgusting, vomit-inducing thing. Ola, creepos, welcome to another episode of your favorite true crime podcast, the show about creeps. Buy creeps for you, creeps. I'm your host.

My name is Vinny. And joining me today in the studio. It is my co-host, my pal and my arch nemesis. It's hot cuck-c-c-c-c-c-carl. What is happening, Vinnie Paulino? Happy Monday to everyone out there after a fantastic weekend. We're back with another creep off episode. Dude, I had a lot of fun this weekend.

Do you know what I did all weekend? I'm going to guess played with action figures. No. So you didn't have that much fun. No, I had a lot of fun. Okay. I was listening to Joe Tex all weekend. Oh, yeah, dude.

That guy rules. Joe Tex is the man. We did a bonus show on Friday. If you're not on our Patreon or YouTube channel, get on there. Get behind the paywall. because we inducted James Brown into the Creeba Hall of Fame and discovered his rival

and the first ever disc track from 1962. Yeah, and then not only that, I found a performance of him on, I believe it was Soul Trade. Yep. Of him doing a song where he's just straight up fat shaving.

He's calling out a fat chick and it's the funniest song. And everyone's just dancing along, like they're not listening. They're not paying attention. And he's like a big fat woman and he's like even doing the emotions. Yeah, yeah.

She broke my hip. Watch for that on Weight Watchers coming soon. I don't know if I can play that on the show. Probably not. God, I would love to. It would be so good. Joe Tex is the man. So, uh, Carl,

uh, it is a brand new episode of The Creep Off. If you are joining us today as a holiday, it is Super Chat Monday. It is Super Chat Monday. And you can celebrate by giving us money. It's a way to celebrate Super Chat Monday. Make with the cash.

Okay, time for money. Guys, let's talk about the creep up. If you're new here, welcome. This is a true crime show, but it's better than that. It's a competition. Every single week, we and I bring in who we think is the creepiest person in a specific category. Today is mechanic. And we present who we think is the biggest creep.

You, after listening to our dissertations, go to Patreon.com slash the creepoff and vote for who you think is the biggest creep. We tally those votes. And then the next Monday, we present who won the previous week? That person gets a point. the first person to five points wins the round, the loser has to spin the dreaded wheel of consequences. Now, Carl, a lot of people have been sending in consequences, so we're going to need to be checking in with Mahalia pretty time, sometimes soon. Great. We are both very close to game point.

Yeah, it's three to three right now is where we stand, and we're going to find out who won last week. Because I'm going to tell you right now, Danny is not here today. No, Danny today. No, my hell yeah, today. Danny's been missing work a little bit lately. Danny had a very legitimate reason today. Oh, her period? Yes.

Who wants to have her around when she's bleeding? Ugh. What's her reason? I can't tell you. She put out some weight? Yeah. I'm like, listen, you got to get camera ready, honey. You show up with no makeup?

Get the fuck out of here, Danny. Danny, we need some sit-ups, some jumping jacks out of you. Some eyeliner. Good it together. Let's go. Just kidding. It was a family thing. was fine.

Okay. Doctor's appointment for the little one. So we love you, Danny. We're just joking. Please don't have a, like a, isn't that how women get eating disorders, like what we just did? Yeah, don't be hysterical about it, all right? Can't have another hysterical woman on here.

We already have any. I get flustered. I get flustered. I won't lie. All right. Is there any way, let me ask you this. All right. Is there any way you and I could possibly present who won last week without our results

girl? Oh, yeah. We used to do that, right? There was a time on the show that we did that? Yeah. Okay. So you think we can still do that? We could.

We could very well. Do you guys want us to do that? You let us know in the chat. We'll put a poll up. I do have a poll ready to go today. We do have a poll. By the way, today's show, if you want to chat with us, feel free. Have some fun with us over on supertip.g.

I remember to post the link in the chat today. Nice. Supertip. Gigi slash creep. And also, if you go over there, you have the opportunity to vote in the poll today. You can tell us what you think. Who brought the biggest creep in today's episode? Don't vote yet.

You haven't heard the arguments. I'm telling you, you'll be able to. Right. And you know what? It's free to do that. So hop on over there if you don't mind. All right. We're almost too generous on this show.

You know? we give and give and give. You know, we don't even put ads into the podcast. Yeah, why is that? We really should. I'm kidding. We're going to hold you motherfuckers over a toilet upside down to just wrinkle your pockets. Over a toilet.

I don't want the money going in the toilet. Well, I know. We'll put a thing down. It's a pee-p goes. No, we're giving them swirlies. Oh, that's fun. Or you can just make it attached. Oh, is that on the wheel of consequences?

Public bathroom swirly. Oh, maybe here at the comedy club. No, it never shits in this toilet, do they? Every time I go in there, there's someone shitting. Every fucking time. I'm like, I'm trying to do drugs at the stall. Someone's always shitting in there. Fucking winner gets to give the loser a swirly.

It would be very funny. That'd be very funny. All right. Wheel it. We're not doing it. I am not doing that. What? Carl, you can go in there and grab some lunch.

I've done some silly, wacky shit on this show. I'm not doing that. Okay. If I, if there was a video of beginning of a swirly from you, Suttery and John would have to come back, right? Yeah. Immediately have a show. Yeah.

It would definitely go to back into it. Yeah. So, uh, I guess everybody do please send your consequence ideas to, uh, at creep off consequences at gmail.com. Now, the winner of last week's episode, who is the biggest creep in British Columbia with 57% of the vote? Went to Carl. Yes.

Are you fucking kidding me? And the people are happy. No, they're not. They are. I had no idea. I thought you were going to win that week. Yeah, so did I. So did I.

I felt good about it too. God damn it. I'm up four to three game point today, baby. Let's go. All right. Well, today's category. Yes. It's one we're revisiting because, boy, it turns out there's a lot of creeps in the field of

automobile repair. Creepiest mechanic today. Oh, I've seen the show tires. I know what these guys are up to. It's no good. Trying to get laid and being too cool. Vinny, a little peek behind the curtain for everyone, if you will. Our producer, Alex, greatest producer in all podcasting.

He's up there. Goes above and beyond. It does things we don't ask him to do and makes our lives easier, which is great. He always sends us out a bunch of suggestions, the people we can pick. from a certain category. Yeah. I didn't get one this week. Did you get a list of mechanics?

I did. I thought you were included in it. Huh. You usually are. Yeah, no, I know. I usually, because after I bitched that you were the only one

who got the suggestions. Oh. You know what I think it was? What's that? I think when you threw him under the bus for no reason a couple weeks ago, you may have pissed him off. So you may owe him an apology.

That would make sense. Well, I had to go to my producer Grock instead. So are we ready to start this competition? Ring that bell, of shit. Please pull up a photo of Joseph Peter Smith. Sure. If you don't mind.

This fella. 37 years old, auto mechanic, long history of drug addiction, prior arrests, including violence against women. He's out on probation. February 1st, 2004, Super Bowl Sunday. He's walking around in his mechanic's uniform, and he walks up to an 11-year-old girl in broad daylight. Now, this girl, her name is Carly Jane Brousia.

Let's pop a photo of Carly. Carl, what the fuck is wrong with you? Whoa. Approximately 6.20. Child at 6.21 p.m. behind Evie's car wash on Beardridge Road. Uh-huh. A surveillance camera captured this.

Play the video, my friend. This video. This is the one. So there's Carly do-p-do-do-do. Walking home, going to back to my mom's house. to watch the big game. Hey, kid, who do you like in the game? Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Uh, you're coming with me, lady. Uh, I'm a girl, sir. I said you're coming with me. And away they go. He grabs her by the wrist and hulls her away. Oh. Not great, right?

So they, they... It depends. It depends on where they went. Okay. What's it for ice cream? Did they go for ice cream? They might have gotten Sundays. That's a good point.

All right. So he grabs her, pulls her into his car, and he ties her up. Oh. Drives her three miles away. Brings her to a wooded area in a field behind a church. And decides to S.A. her. I believe you call it flip-flopping. He flip-flopped her?

He flip-flopped her. And 11-year-old girls hate that. They're not fans getting flip-flop. No. They don't like it at all. He also strangled her with her own shoelace and decided to just murder her and leave her body there in the woods. She was reported missing within an hour. The parents are like, oh, where's Carly?

Call the police. The game is starting. Right. An Amber Alert went out. What year was this? This is 2004. Oh, boy. The car wash video was released to the public the next day, Groundhog's Day, February 2nd.

and Tip started flooding in. This was everywhere. This made national news. The fact of this woman, this girl was abducted, she's missing. They have the video of it. And multiple people,

including former coworkers, immediately recognized this asshole. They're like, oh, that's Joseph. I know that guy. I used to work with him. Because he's got,

like, tattoos and his haircuts sucks worse than the mind. You know, you know what I find really disconcerting about looking at this mugshot of this guy? What's that? He looks like the perfect blend if Aaron M. Holt and Chad Zumach had a baby. Fuck.

You're right. It's the two of them together. It's like literally they merged into one child murdering person. You can't put enough LOLs before the word cow. When you think about those two combining forces. Into one child. Wow. Flip-flopper.

All right. So Joseph's unfrosted tip says Calvertone. He happens to be in custody at the time that they find out that he's the guy because he was broke his parole. So they questioned him. He lies about his whereabouts. They show him the thing. He's like, that looks like me, but it's not me. Because I'm sorry, it was a probation violation that he was in jail for.

And so then he admitted, okay, I'll be honest with you guys. I had a little rough sucks with her, and I strangled her, and you can find her in this field back behind the church and told the cops exactly where she was. The murder was completely consensual officer. I mean, what is this argument? It's a 13-year-old child, sir. 11, 11-year-old child, sir. Yeah. February 5th, four days later, is when they found her DNA from semen on her clothing, match Smith, the medical examiner.

confirmed death by strangulation and that she had been sexually battered. November 2005, jury finds Joseph Smith guilty on first-degree murder, capital sexual battery and kidnapping. December, the jury recommends death by a tentative to vote. And on March 15, 2006, he was sentenced to death for murder, plus consecutive life sentences for the other counts. He remained on death row for years. The sentence was later affected by changes in Florida law requiring,

unanimous jury recommendations, but he did die in prison, July 2021, at the age of 55. That's the nomination, Joseph Peter Smith. Just the fact that he's in daylight. Just he wasn't thinking he was going to do this this day, but he saw the super smoking hot, 11-year-old girl walking by herself, grabbed her by the wrist, pulled her into the car, had his way with her. This is the creepiest mechanic. Your move, Vinnie.

Well, thank you very much, Carl. and I want to thank Dr. Phibbs 9 in the chat for naming today's episode, Steel Shark. Ugh. Gross. Okay, Carl. I prefer mud toe. Carl, there's some places on earth. You know how they say like New York City, if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere?

I think Frank Sinatra said that. That's right. Now, if you could be an amazing creep in a, terrible place. Wouldn't that put you in the running for one of the biggest creeps of all time? Gary, Indiana. How about Russia? Oh. If the world's Gary, Indiana. If people, if the people in Russia are like, yik. Yeah. It makes you pretty bad, right? Well, there's a whole area called, uh, well, what's the area where they send all the people to? Ukraine. Siberia. Oh, yeah, Siberia. I believe, I believe Siberia is where they, like, sent all the ghouls.

Uh-huh. And so they're not surprised by this shit in Russia. They hear about it all the time. Right. So Ukraine? All right. That was good. My creep was born in the Ukraine, Carl.

But I moved to Moscow after he was in the army. You know what? If I was Ukrainian, here's what I'd be pissed about. What's that? You could say the invasion of the country. Yeah, the invasion of the country. You could say all that stuff. No, all the hot chicks moved to the U.S.

and become strippers. So can we keep some of our hot chicks? Why are we exporting all the hot chicks? You know, back in the day, we used to send the hot chicks to our boys on the front lines. We would fly them in for them. Right. And now they're just all leaving.

Well, we don't have boots on the ground in Ukraine, though. True. Not our problem. Good point. I don't care if those assholes get laid. It turns out that Ukraine's biggest export used to be grain. Now it's trimmed. Well said.

Well said. Thank you. Back to your presentation, sir. Well, my creep this week is a guy named Yavengi Olgavich Nogorny. Easy for you to say. It's not. He is responsible for what might be the single worst customer service experience in the history of the automotive industry, Carl. Did he overcharge for a whole change?

Oh, I thought you wanted synthetic. I'm sorry. Maybe we should agree on that out of time. Yeah. But it's 90 bucks. Going to his shop costs you a lot. Okay. Okay.

So let's just start here. He was born in 72, was in the Army, moved back to, moved to Russia from Ukraine. wasn't a very good mechanic in the army. That's what he did. But couldn't find another job when he got out. So decided to just open up his own shop. And he rented, like, it's like a, it's described as a hangar. Okay.

And all the things that I've read. But it was close to an old abandoned military base, wasn't particularly fancy. And- plenty of parking, though. He was trying really hard to get his business off the ground back in 1998. Okay. He's trying really hard and things aren't going very well. In fact, something really bad happened one day.

At his business, Autolux, he had a customer come in and drop off their Jeep Cherokee for some repairs. During the time that My creep had it, the Jeep caught on fire, almost burnt down the hangar, and the Jeep was completely destroyed. Yeah, that would suck if you're like, you know what? The engine light has been coming out. and a weird thing with the tire pressure monitor. No problem. Your car is on fire now. It's gone.

Okay. Well, I didn't want that Jeep anyway. It's fine. Dude, I mean, he's really bad at being a mechanic. Right. So now he's like, fuck. Now I almost birth the place down. I owe the landlord money.

I owe this guy for a new Jeep Cherokee. I can't even afford money to buy parts to fix the cars I have in the shop. So he came up with a business idea. And the first step was I need some help around the shop. So who better. to hire than this guy named Sergei Statenski who was a meth head and former mental patient. Oh, I know who that is. I beat him in Tyson's punchout.

Yes. He's a fifth guy. So Sergey is like, I'll do whatever job you need. I just need somebody, you know, for more meth and whatever. Sure. So he's working for my guy and he says, okay, let me explain to you the business plan. What we're going to do is we're going to put some ads out and then we're going to invite people here for free estimates on whatever their stuff is.

And then I'm going to shoot them in the head. Oh. Then we're going to just sell their cars. That's actually a pretty good plan. Because once someone gets shot in the head, they don't need a car anymore. She's about taking it off their hands. Sure. Yeah.

So here is the problem. The first customer that they got came in January 2nd, 1998. And they owned a really shitty little beater car called a lot of Niva. and for some reason they're still like, you know what? Shot him in the head and they took this car and they got like a hundred bucks for it. South status Chicago rules? Is that what they're going by? Apparently.

Beat up Nike's, but whatever. Stick them out. And they were like, fuck, we definitely kill that guy. And Sergey's like, yeah, we did. And he's like, what's the blue book on this thing? What can we get for this? Anything? So they changed your strategy.

And honestly, they went with my rule of thumb. Carl, if you're already willing to murder somebody for their car, why waste your tie with an economy car? You got to get something decent. So they started advertising that Autolux, we worked on foreign cars. So they tried to get people to bring in better cars. Those German cars in here, people. Yeah.

Free estimates. So over the next several months, Nagordia and Stavinsky murdered nine more people. Okay. And what they would do is inside of that hanger, there was actually like a manhole that led down into the sewer. So they would like Sweeney taught it. They would shoot the person in the head, open the fucking thing, drop their body into the sewer. Yeah.

And push all the blood and just clean the floor and fucking go about their business. How could they ever get caught? Oh, wait, all the piles of dead bodies right below them. That's right. It doesn't help. Yeah. It doesn't help later. A lot of evidence.

So in spite of murdering all of these people, the big problem was he was terrible at selling the cars after he murdered them for them. Well, that should be the easy part. You would think. Yeah. Now, over five months, he got three Jeep Grand Cherokees, three Mercedes-Benz SUVs, a Mitsubishi, Pajero, I don't know what that is, an Audi something or other, and a Vaz 2109, which is like a big suburban. I'm going to get a Jeep Grand Cherokee, I think, later this month. I love those cars.

Those are great cars. Cool. I'm excited. I hope someone shoot you in the face and takes it. I hope we got some money for her. That's a nice car. The most he got was $8,000. for any of the cars.

That's all right. That's not bad. I mean, when you have no overhead. I was just going to say, right. Like, when you get it for zero, selling it for $8,000, pretty profitable. You know that these people are, like, looking up from hell going, and he sold it for $8,000? I could have gotten $16 for that.

It's fucking asshole. I'm paying it on that car for three more years and this motherfucker. Only $82,000. What's he doing? So, he's not even getting sticker on these cars. He's murdering people for them. So he's just bad at everything. He's the worst.

My guy sucks so many for so many reasons, Carl. Used car money he's making on this. And what makes this guy is, that's what makes him the most spectacular creep because it's not even a giant criminal empire where he's banking. He's like basically just paying bills. Yeah. Off of murdering people. So in 1998, they kind of fucked up, though.

They murdered two guys who were associated with the sonnet. Ratsky Bratva, one of Russia's major organized crime group. I assume that like one in four guys is in the mafia. Yeah. That comes in there. So they murdered two of them. I think those were the Mercedes. Vinny, what's the time frame here?

How long have they been murdering people for their cars? Carl, this all happens from January to May 1998. So five months. Yeah. Not long. Yeah. It's not a great business. So I don't know much about running a Russian murder garage, but I'm going to say that

there's two people. I'm not going to kill for their cars. It's not going to be the. the cops and it's not going to be the fucking Russian mob. Seems to me like you're the expert, Mark. I don't know a lot about this. I think you got it all figured out, right? So the mob thought another gang did it because no bodies were recovered.

So a lot of cool mob people died in the retaliation. There was like a mob war that happened over this. So all sorts of people are dying all over town. They have no idea it has to do with this stupid asshole in this failing business. Don't stop believing. Dude, this guy's taking out crime bosses. So the operation's still going on. Here's how they got caught, Carl.

My favorite part. This incredibly elaborate murder operation was eventually brought down by one of the most technologically advanced crime fighting tools available in 1998. Robocop. Caller ID. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That'll get you. Yeah.

You got a star 96. That's shit. Whatever it is. Nagorny contacted another potential victim to arrange a meeting when he apparently didn't realize with the rich person's telephone displayed incoming call numbers. The number was registered to Autolux. After that person was reported missing, police were investigating them because they were well-liked. And that led them back to Autolux. And under the concrete floor investigators discovered a bag containing bloodstained property belonging to victims.

There were old license plates registered to the victims. empty magazine from a pistol, and eventually police found the murder weapon. The pistol was hidden on a ceiling beam. There was one problem. They didn't have the bodies yet. Because even though the bodies went into the sewer, they kind of washed away.

Oh, okay, right. That's good. Yeah, it's like dropping them into, like, one of those pneumatic tubes at the bank. Like, you just dropped them there they go. God. Yeah. I was going to say a river.

But yeah, yeah, what you said is better. I guess. Disposing a bodies in a river, by the way, is a pretty good move. Nogorny initially denied everything, which is a pretty ambitious strategy, considering they're standing there holding the garage, a garbage bag full of bloody license plates and evidence. Understood. However, I always tell people, because we do give advice on this show. Always deny it gives your attorneys a fighting chance. Yeah.

So, Sergei Stavitsky apparently handled being arrested considerably worse than my creep today. He was very mentally ill. And like I said, a drug addict. So well in custody, he managed to free himself from his handcuffs and attempted to hang himself with his shoelaces. Mental illness can literally drive you crazy. And when he survived, he was just like, all right. Yeah, we were murdering him and throwing under the bag.

God damn it. Yeah. And eventually the police discovered the full extent of what happened underneath the autolux. Bodies were recovered from the sewer system and from a concrete lined pit beneath the service station. Eventually, they recovered all 10 victims, at which point, I don't know, anything became a little different.

He was like, all right, fine. You got me. But he starts claiming he's crazy. Sure. Because he saw Stovitsky say he's crazy. Stovitsky ended up in a mental institution. They just sent him right back to the Nutt hut. Now, Nogorny goes to trial for this.

And he was convicted and sentenced to life imprisonment. And a lot of the mob guys showed up to the trial because they were quite pissed. Sure. And as he was standing with his back to the gallery and being told he was getting a life sentence, the gang members of the courtroom began shouting at him and threatening him. And it was the only time someone was actually happy to go to jail instead of walk out of the courtroom. No shit, please lock me away. These people do not like me. He appealed his sentence and he said he didn't deserve that.

And he had a very compelling argument as to why he should have been able to get away with all of this. Okay. I was in the army. And? I was in the army. Okay. And also serving my country. That's not a good argument.

So I should be able to go free. Yeah. Yeah, it turns out even in Russia, you don't get points for your service. Later television interview, he reportedly complained about the way the press portrayed him, which I think is fantastic. You're a complete fuck-up failure. And you're upset that people are calling you that. Okay. He was ultimately sent to Black Dolphin Prison, which is a maximum security prison, housing Russia's most serious offenders.

Black Dolphin Prison? That's what it's called. Dude, Miami needs to rebrand their team. Your gay teal colors, imagine they were the black dolphins. So last year. They would get like Raider-esque fans dressed up with their games. That'd be cool. I just might start doing it anyway. You call me the Black Dolphins.

to go black dolphins. Listen, the dolphins have the dark jerseys. They wore them last year. One game when Tyree Kill blew up his knee. I never want to see those on the field again. That was a very bad day. Yeah. Also, signing Tyree Kill was a very bad day for the dolphins.

That was fun. He chased the cops. He had a blast. He slapped a guy at the dock. Oh, Tyreeks the greatest. I love Tyree Kill for all that. Now I'm far enough away from it. A couple months ago, I would have been.

mad. Either way, he's in jail for the rest of his life. And it all started because this asshole couldn't afford the repair pill for a cheapie burnt down. And that is my creep this week. Please go to patreon.com and vote for your pal Vinny and Yavengi Nagorny. Thanks. You should not vote for Vinny. I'll tell you why. Vinny fucked up this week. He didn't realize that this guy only killed bad guys because they're all Russians. So killing bad guys is always a good thing. And vote for Carl for the guy who abducted an essay to 11-year-old girl. That's horrible, Carl. That's horrible, buddy.

What do you mean? You're horrible. Say, every Russian's horrible. You're out of order. Super tip Monday. Let's start off with John's earmites member for 7-1. Says, I spent the weekend watching old creep-off episodes, and you can too. Just wait for Labrne Mystic to gift you a membership, and you'll be entertained for hours.

Oh, thank you, Labern Mystic. You gave John's earmites. I'm going to do all weekend. We do a crazy back catalog. This is like year six of the show or something. I'll tell you what, man. I was looking through some of the Hall of Fame episodes. We just did the James Brown one.

Yep. I mean, going back to Pamper Choo. Remember old Pamper Choo? Oh, wow. Yeah. That's going back away. Dude, we did some great ones. We did.

It's, uh, if you, if you want to check out our bonus episodes, they're all there on Patreon and, uh, lots of Hall of Fame episodes. But everything is evergreen. It creeps have existed since the beginning of time. And we've been covering him for the last six years. They're born every minute. Principled uncertainty, gifted five creep off. Did he really?

Principal uncertainty. Thank you, sir. Hell of a man. We love you, sir. He's awesome. All I want is a late era automatic auto sleep tow pass. It's easier to import kids. Huh.

Okay. Good to know. Thanks for the five. Everybody. Supertip.g.g.g. Creep. Does anyone taking advantage of our fun supertip system over there, many? Tommy, well, hold on a second.

No. You bunch of jerks. Nothing at Supertip? Nothing at Supertip. It's embarrassing, guys. I'm embarrassed for you. I feel like no one's celebrating Supertip Monday today except for Prismal Uncertainty. What's going on here?

I blame you, Carl. I blame me too. You know what? I usually do this at the beginning of the show, but I want to tell you a quick anecdote from my weekend. Please. I'll tell you. I got one for you too. Good, okay.

I do that here for some reason. I don't know why. I don't talk about my life. usually in other shows. Maybe I do too much. I don't know. Anyway, that's not the point.

The Isatose played a wedding this past weekend. We don't, we're not a wedding band. We don't usually play weddings. We're hired to play a wedding. We're like, all right, we're just going to bring an ice stuff show.

Like, yep, that's what we want. Cool. But we were given an interesting task. We were told there's an Elvis impersonator. We'd learn five Elvis songs to back this man up. Which ones? It was a jailhouse, rock,

and et cetera, et cetera. Oh, no. Dude, I hated this. I dreaded it. Learning these songs sucked. I hate Elvis music. It's garbage. It's so boring and lame.

I can't even explain how upsetting it was at rehearsal working on these socks. So we're all like moaning and groaning about it. This sucks. They wanted us to get together earlier in the day and rehearsed with the Elvis of person or had come in from out of town. And I'm like, I'm doing who are these podcasts with Doug. from who's right. I can't. I can't do it. So we get to the gig. We have not rehearsed it with the Elvis Impersonator. I haven't met the guy. We haven't talked to him.

Oh, I can't imagine he's healthy. I've never seen a healthy Elvis impersonator. We haven't on the set list. I go, hey, after this next song, we got a very special guest. No one knows what's going to happen. It hasn't been announced or anything like that. We play a song. All of a sudden, up jumps this Elvis Impersonator. We play through these five songs. It crushes. The place is fucking going bonkers for it. It was so fun. I was not expecting that at all. But it turns out, I was a personator's rule. And this guy was fantastic. All right. I was not expecting it. There it is. There it is. Now, what's your attic though from the weekend? Oh, I was attacked by a bat and had to get rabies shots.

Is that true? Yeah. Was it in your house? Yeah, in my attic. Fuck. Yeah. It was not great. So wait. How did it? Bats don't usually attack people. Were you, like, fucking with it? So, were you calling it names? Here's what I'm saying it. You get out of here, Dracula. Yeah.

So I did a golf heckler's event in Pekipsy, New York Friday. Okay. I drove home right after it. So it's not like 8 o'clock, and I've had about a 12-hour day, well, 14-hour day at that point. Right. I'm tired. I'm sweaty. And I walk out of my bedroom.

The attic doors across the way and it was open because my wife ran something up there. Yeah. and as I opened the door, just floating, like in a fucking horror movie, right there there's a fucking bat. I was like, what the fuck? Okay. I've been in your attic before. You should do your podcast up there.

Yeah, it's all finished. It's nice. Thank you. Lucy type box. Jealous Rock, Burning Love. Suspicious minds. Teddy Bear. There's another one in there, too.

Those are the songs. Anyway, I feel like you've had a bat in your house before. Am I wrong about that? I don't think I have. Okay. That's why I said your house. I thought you had that problem. No.

No. So either way, I watch the thing fly down the hallway and into the bathroom. So I run behind it and I close the bathroom door. Now, what's your wife stands on Bats in the house? She's cool with that or? Against. Against. Against.

Yeah, so you got to do something about this. So now I have this long hallway. I have a guest room at the end of it. So I close all the doors, open up the guest room, open up all the windows from there. You know what? There's, hold on. There's got to be a guest room. that does this because I always outsource my problems.

Yeah. Is there like a Batman? It's me now. I'll be here all week. Thank you. Go ahead, buddy. So I went and got plastic sheeting that you use like seal of windows and stuff. I had a fresh thing of it down in the basement.

Or murder cats. I cover up, yeah, for murdering people. And I cover up the hall, the thing that leads downstairs. And I have my arm. I could reach through the plastic and open up the bathroom door from where the stairs are. Okay. So that it would go into the guest room and out the window. Wow. Okay. That's interesting.

That's what I ended up doing. I like it. But my first thing that I did is where I fucked up. Baseball bat. Ah, I'll get you. Broom. Broom. So it's in the bathroom. And I'm thinking to myself, fuck, what if I go in there and just open the bathroom window? If I go in real quiet, usually, I don't know.

The light was on in there. And I'm like, I don't know. The bash is snoozing. But I like, there's a screen in that window. It's on the second floor. I can't get to it from the outside. What if I go in the house? there real fast to just try to get the screen out, open that window. So I did that. That works for it when you have flies in your house?

Bass I'm not sure about. But I go there and I open up the window quietly. I'm trying to get the screen out. And that out of nowhere, the thing popped up because it was up behind the window. I didn't realize it hiding behind like the curtain thing. And it came down and I put my arm up and it went right into my arm. Oh, fuck. And then started flying around me like Batman begins.

No shit. And I ran the fuck out of the bathroom. Is that your origin story? Yes. That's what I went and got the plastic stuff and led the thing down the hallway, got it in there, and it disappeared. So here's the problem, though. My wife is now Googling, what do you do if you come in contact with a bat? Oh, never do that.

Just pretend it didn't happen and go to bed. Exactly. That's what you should do. So here's what she's trying to tell me. Google show a day. It always says, like, got to go to the hospital. You got to fucking do all this shit. and get shots.

It's like, I don't want to do anything. It's so bad. It's so bad what they do to you. So my wife starts reading all this shit at me. She's going, did you know that even if it just touches you, that their claws and their teeth are very smell? You might not even have a mark and it may have scratched you and you wouldn't know it. And if you get rabies, the second you have a symptom, you're already dead. You're already dead.

I'm so mad at both of you. Dude, it's 930 at 9. I'm mad at your wife for believing that, and I'm mad at you for going along with it and not just slapping her across the face and saying, shut up, bitch. You've seen who I'm married. I'm not fucking that up. I'm so mad here right now. So guess what you have to do in New York? Guess what you have to do in Monroe County?

What's that? You have to contact health and animal services and let them know that there was a bat, whatever. So they call and they go, did anybody come in contact with them? I was like, yes, it ran into my husband's arm. Can we speak to him? Yeah, Mr. Paulineau, do you have the bat? And I go, no, it flew out a window and I go, okay. Well, unfortunately, if we can't test the bat, you're legally now have to go report tomorrow morning and go be treated as if you have rabies.

Were you forming at the mouth at this time? Yeah, I was a little upset. So I had to go to, you ready for this? Yeah. The urgent care on Carter Street on Saturday morning. and go get five shots. Vinnie, what was that scene like? The urgent care on Carter Street.

What was that scene? Anthony Coomia's nightmare. Yes, I believe it. I can only imagine people who haven't been to the doctor, their entire life, who are just like, can I get 18 things checked out right now? Carl, here's what was wild. Sir, what's your diet?

Crack? All right. Come with us. Carl. I call me and I say to the late, because Monroe County makes you do it and they pay for it. So like they just call ahead. So I come in there and I say,

hey, I guess they call. I pay a lot in taxes. I'm really glad this is where the money is going. It's going to save my life from nothing. So I go and they go, they pull out what looks like a child's school notebook that has a cartoon bat draw, like on it.

Oh, is there a trapper keeper involved? Yes, it's a trapper keeper with a cartoon bat. Nice. And it's the bat book. And they had to go there and sign me in because apparently these fucking bats are all over goddamn downtown. This fucking city we live in. All right. So have you figured out how the bat got in and will you stop more bats from getting into your house?

Or are we going to hear the story again? I know exactly how the bat got in. Yeah. I changed the air conditioner that was in the attic to one of those units that you put the tube to the window. It's like the portable one. Yep. And I didn't realize that part of that was. cracked out. I hadn't been up there in a while. And I guess part of it fell, so I think it got through there.

Oh, interesting. So who knows what lives in your house now? There's probably a lot of shit going on. You might have a hummingbird infestation. We don't know. I might have to move. I might have to move. Not a terrible idea. Not a terrible idea, my friend. Dude, that bat came at me and it fucking was wild. They called him wrong side of the tracks, Paulito. Not a bad idea to move, my friend. Every point, all my neighbors are nurses and doctors. It's fine. Doctors?

Wow, nurses. A lot of nurses. Not male, though, all female. My neighbors are doctors. Yeah, Carl lives by the doctors. I live by the nurses. Yeah, okay. Anyway, fun anecdote.

Were there any Elvis impersonators there? No. Okay. Maybe at the urgent care. I guess we should probably get to a Carl's cop cam segment of the show. I can't wait to see. Caust cop can. Fight with the cops for no reason.

Will you please show me? Cause cop can. Lose all your rights. Ruined your life. Thank you. Welcome to the Vinnie Martyrice show. Vinnie Matarice show. Now, let me tell you guys, which, have you ever had a bat fly at your head?

All right. This one came in from Joshua McKay. and warning, this is the most annoying woman. And I realize that sounds like jumbo shrimp. This is the most annoying woman you have ever seen in your life. And she's having a panic attack. She tried to avoid the cops. She went down back road.

She pulled into a parking lot, turn off all her lights. They found her. She's hiding from the cops. They found her and they pull her over. Carl, I just want to point a little behind the scenes before we play of this. Carl asked me if we had played this one before. And I watched about three seconds of this video and I said, oh my God, no, I'd remember this shit. It just, it seems like we play so many annoying women on this show.

I couldn't remember. Bro, this is a bad one, kids. Strapping. I'm having a panic attack and I was sitting outside of my mom's house. I'm just trying to get to my boyfriend's house. I'm sorry, Officer, I've ported up playing. I've been hanging up a panic all night. Oh, you have your license on me?

Yeah, you were there. Please, please. arrest me, please. Why would I arrest you? Because I'm having such a feeling and I can suck. I'm supposed to pay off a boot improvidence. I'm sorry.

That's why I wasn't waiting. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Bad strategy. That's confident and cool. You know, be cool. The cops pull you over? Officer. What seems to be the problem? How you doing tonight, sir?

How you doing tonight? It's good to see you, my friend. Ah, did I do something? to ruin your night officer. By the way, thank you for your service. I don't know if you get enough feedback on this, but we appreciate you. Back to blue, I say. This fucking woman is hysterical, and it's all fake.

I've been having a panic attack all night. That means you're a problem. That's not a panic attack. That's a personality disorder, is what you're talking about right now. And then she says something to the cop that he does not like right here. Just stop talking.

Stop! Just be quiet. You're making things worse. I'm so much. Because you keep talking. Just shut your mouth, please. Okay. Step out. Get out of your car. No.

You get out of the car or the window get smashed. No. Get out of the car. Officer? Get out of the car. For what? Get out of the car. For what?

No. Get out of the car. No. Do you self-of-fa- just get out. No. Please. No, please. I'm sorry, please.

I'm very scared. I have debilitating anxiety. Hey, listen, here's a deal. One thing I've never said to a police officer, aside from Johnny Furica, who's been on this show a few times, is go fuck yourself. Seems like a really bad idea. And then to, like, immediately start pretend crying when they come to you. Like, all right, bitch, let's go. I'm just really sad about things.

That's why I told you to fuck yourself. Debilitating anxiety. Is that a thing? thing? I don't know. Probably not. Whatever. I love that like, the kind of just be like, I'm sorry, we have to cater to you and your issues? I didn't realize that. All right. Well, if you have debilitating anxiety, then please, on your way, ma'am. I don't know what she thinks is going to happen here. Turns out. Like, when you're acting irrational like that, the last thing they want you to do

people is drive a car. Right. If you're being this emotional, you can't control yourself. They're not going to let you just drive away. Logically speaking. They're not. No. Be polite. Be respectful. Say, you're right. I did the wrong thing.

I'm going to learn from this officer. I never get pulled over. What am I talking about this? I have no idea. Ladies, push them up, show a little cleavage. What's the last time you were pulled over, many? Oh, man. I'm going to knock on wood.

I don't like this shit. Yeah. Years. It's been so long for me. I can't even remember what it's like. Oh, I think the time the cops tossed my car in North Carolina. They tossed yourself. I would. No, my car. They threw all my tour stuff. I had all my shit was all over the side of the highway. They were searching my car. Was it on your way to a who are these podcasts live show? No, it was on my way back from playing the Carolina Comedy Club. I'm sure that's how long ago it was. That was profitable for you. It turns out they were to check on this woman and she has an issue and she disagrees with this. My clip three.

If you have such anxiety, okay, you're flying down the road. Then you try ducking me down some side streets, pulling into a park lot, and shutting your lights off, pretend I didn't see you. That was what it was. I was putting off the side of the food. Then, not to mention, you don't have a license. I do have a license. It's suspended. No, it's not.

It is. My license is not suspended. Okay, I just ran it. The state of, stop. As of when? As of last year. No, my license is. Why are we screaming?

This one sucks so bad. All right, this triggers her. She is so upset. The police officer told her license is suspended. She calls her boyfriend Jimmy. Now, I don't know what kind of pussy Jimmy's getting. It's not worth it. I promise you that.

Listen to this exchange. Hello, my license, Jimmy. Can you come get her? Jimmy, can Jimmy? Are you listening to them? Stop. Jimmy, are you listening to them? Jimmy, is anywhere you can come get her?

Yeah, I can come get her Come get her, please. They're saying, Jimmy, they're saying my license. Stop! Why are you screaming? Jimmy, stop! Jimmy, run away. What did he do wrong?

Why does he have to pick her up? Why is he under arrest? Did I duck down backst treats from you, officer? All right, my nice clip. Like, Jimmy is willing to come and get her, which would get her out of this whole thing. But she can't get out of her own fucking way because she's so upset. Jimmy, we don't normally do this, but we're going to give you a free shot on this broad. Here's my club.

Just to ask me if I could come get you. I can come get you, right? Are you listening, Jimmy? Yes. They're saying my license is suspended as of last year. How much? Have you ever done to drink tonight? I can come get you.

I just get off of work. At a bar. They just said that my license is suspended as of law. Stop talking. Jimmy. Jimmy. Excuse me. No, officer.

You're working your way into jail, okay? I'm going to tell you that right now. Just stop talking and let me talk to Jimmy. My license is suspended, Jimmy. Jimmy, no. I love this. She tells Jimmy to listen. She's repeated the same thing over and over again.

And she was like, listen, I'll come and get you. We'll fix all of this right now And she can't stop screaming about her license The fact that it took this long For the cop to ask her if she'd been drinking Is a surprise to me So she left work She's a bartender

When I was in New York a couple weeks ago I was listening to this bartender Who's trying to brag to this coworker He's either nailing or trying to nail And he goes You know many shots I do during a shift? I average 30 shots during a shift And I was like, maybe that's true.

Probably not. Either way, bartenders get wasted all the time. I've seen it. They're around alcohol. They like alcohol. That's why they work there. Right. And you know, like a good chef always tastes what they do.

Of course. Yes. You're like, is the bourbon popping tonight? Right. So what you work in an Irish bar and you have to taste each type of scotch. Okay, so, oh, that's a good idea. Should I get a job? Huh.

Scottland Yard. Is that still around? I think that place closed down, right? That place is long gone. It's now Mafia Hub. Dude, what is that? We should talk about Mafia Hub. What's Mafia Hub?

Not the point. Okay, so she hangs up on Jimmy, who's trying to help. Well, what the fuck is Mafia Hub now? It's a Bill's bar that might be the worst bar in the city. It's probably the worst bar in the city. Is it worse than the new stadium? It's way worse in the new stadium. In fact, really, really.

Hold on. Two billion dollars for a hunk of shit. Hold on. I'm not even sure if they're still around. They opened a couple months ago. But if the mafia hub is still around, that should be on the wheel of consequences, getting dinner at that place.

The menu is absurd. Not the point. Okay. So she hangs up on Jimmy, who's trying to help. And she decides to call Mommy, which isn't embarrassing at all. They said my license is suspended as of last year.

Shit. I'll be calling Mommy. Mommy. Talk to Mommy like that. I'm sure I'm going to hang up on you, too. You know, I was having Jimmy come pick you up, but you hung up on him, so I couldn't even tell them where you're at. Mommy is a head of city highway. I don't care what your mommy is.

Hi, Mommy. Hi, mommy. So I'm driving home from work, and these officers are saying that my license has been suspended since last year. No, that was being. saved when you went to court. I'm telling you right now, I just ran it. It comes back as suspended. Yeah, my license comes back as suspended.

This generation is fucked. They think that Mommy will save them. Mommy, you tell the police officer my license is not suspended. Listen, lady, let's not get Mommy involved. Let's drag her into this. How many times do you think a math teacher or a science teacher had to meet with Mommy about a grade? I don't think that she had a C plus. I think she had a B minus.

No shit. She had a D-minus. She's a bartender. She sucks. This woman sucks. And I'm sparing you guys. This video goes out and out of that. She's the most annoying person in the history of being a person. And she thinks she didn't do anything wrong. My clip seven. I didn't do you come home. I thought you were going to your boyfriend's house. Which is right next to my mom's house. You fucking, I don't. But you know what, Kate? In trouble. Yep. She's right. Your mom's right.

Yeah, Kate. You're being a real C right now. You're being a real C with a capital K for Kate. Yes. And Vinny, she throws out a word. You would think this is Aaron Imholt trying to get money for the goal. Would you hear this word? Do I need to, do I want to play on that?

Yes. The funny part is we're trying to get you out of here because clearly, They don't want to deal with you either. Oh, they just said that you both, you and Jimmy, both don't want to deal with me. You talk to everyone like shit. Because I'm a piece of shit. Because I'm a piece of shit. They need to get away for me.

I said you talk to everyone like shit. Mommy, you need to fucking get here. Someone come get here. Are they going to, they said if somebody shows up here, they'll let me fucking go. But close my fucking door, please. And thank you. Listen, you're not in charge of this car stop. Okay.

You're working, you're working your way into jail. Keep running, keep running your mouth. Oh, mommy. Mommy, I'm not. That's real noise. That's real good. Whoa. I'm just going to back up.

Mommy, I ain't no Edward. What? Wasn't that a Madonna song? Yes. I thought it was Papa don't preach, but no, actually, you're right. Okay. That was the song. Wow.

Whoa. I can't imagine a scenario where we start yelling out hard R. Edwards during a traffic stop. Actually, I can imagine three scenarios. Not the point. This is none of those things. I am shocked. She's drunk. How are they not just pulling her out?

She's wasted. And drug testing this bitch. Correct. So at this point, her mom is screaming at her, telling her to shut up. They're going back and forth. and she decides, I didn't know these guys badge numbers. And this was a bad move on her part. Good thinking.

408. What's yours? 513. Actually, you know what? 513. How much have you had to drink tonight? I was at work all night. Yep, and you work at a bar. When you just step out of the car to scream in my face,

I detected a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emanating from breath. I'm going to ask you to do a field sobriety test. I'm not doing it. Then you're going to go to jail. I'm not doing it. No, I'm not doing it. Step out of the car. You're so stupid.

She pulled a Tony Romo. You are a dummy. When you've been drinking, don't yell into a cop's face. They will smell it. Wow. Yeah. Very funny. So she gets out, wants to, like, get the police officers in trouble because they're the bad guys.

And they're like, oh, actually you definitely are drunk. So finally. Like, again, you could have figured this out 20 minutes ago. These cops are very nice to this piece of a shit. Way too nice. Finally, they pour out of the car. Okay. Can't wait.

Don't do this to me, please. This is the rest of my life. Please don't do this to me. You do this to yourself. Step out of the car. No, I'm not. My mom and somebody else is coming in here. Please, sir, no.

No. No, please. No. Get on the car. I don't know. I don't do anything. Okay. I don't do anything.

No. You know, let's put it on the ground. Relax. Relax. Listen, relax. Relax. Relax. Just go down.

Just go down. Oh, you don't do anything. Just relax. Please don't do this to me. Please. I have duplicating anxiety please. My mom is coming. There is something so cathartic about these cop-cam videos.

when a woman's just being such a woman. And you finally just put her to the ground and just say, we're not playing this game anymore, lady. It's incredible how much restraint these officers have. I couldn't do this job. When they're down on the ground like that, how do you not rank their faces across the pavement? I scream at Biddy for just like not doing a good job by the creep off.

we have private meetings where I'm just screaming in his face for an hour and a half. And I go, you're definitely drunk. You're definitely drunk. I was over-served. Anyway, mom, the enabler arrives at the scene. She got there in six and a half minutes from the time that this woman called her mommy. Check this out. Okay.

My mommy is coming. My mommy is coming. My mom. So Santa bitch. Hi there. You're here for your daughter, I imagine? Yes. Yeah, I think she's in custody right now.

She's in custody? I believe so. For being a... I just got here, I don't know, but she seems to be out of control or having some type of issue. Why don't just stay right here in the car for a minute so we don't rile her up anymore. That way you stay warm. I'll have my supervisor come over and talk to you, okay? Couldn't have given more opportunities to have someone come get her and her behavior is.

I just couldn't... I know. She gets like this anxiety, ankles bananas. Yeah, anxiety. but I mean, that's a little more than... You know, we tried to give them more opportunities on the world than she's a... I know.

See what's going on here, Benny? This is an enabler right here. Well, you know, my daughter, she's got this anxiety and then she, like, treats everyone like shit. Well, that's not anxiety. Yeah. All the time when she refuses to clean her robe,

do dishes. Yeah. Anytime we give her any type of correction, her anxiety flares up and she gets really out of control. Sometimes I get anxiety going on like a roller coaster. I don't... scream at everyone who's letting me onto the trade, you know? Are you afraid of roller coasters?

I'm not. I was just trying to think of a scenario. I might have anxiety. Okay. I haven't gone on a roller coaster in a long time. Actually, the last time I went on a roller coaster was Missy B at Disney World 2020. Aerosmith ride, no longer there. I went Tuesday.

You went to Six Flags. Yeah. And saw a very fat person out of a park patch and emailed it or texted it to me and Dick Masterson and Johnny. Yeah, I'm a proud member of the International Brotherhood of Weller. Weight Watchers. And we have to report these things. Need to be reported. It's very important that you do that.

It's a good thing that didn't let her on a ride because if they did, so many people wouldn't have been able to ride that time. I couldn't believe the little kid on the other side of the bench wasn't launched out of the park. This one was so huge. That thing was bolted to the floor. And I'm not going to lie to you. Me and my friends were very ready to have a good time that day.

When I saw her, I was like, whoa, how fucked up am I? I mostly trimming balls. There's a 500-pound woman on that park bench right there. Like, we are trimming balls, but no, that is a 500-pound woman on that park bench. I need a verification. All right, guess what this idiot does? She slips the cuffs in the back of the car. Oh, does she's, her mom to help her?

Nope. Okay, good. Put your hands behind your back. I want my mom. Put your hands behind your back. I want my mom. Put your hand behind your back and stop resisting. Stop resisting.

I'm not. Put your other hand behind your back. Put your arm small. Put your hand, other hand, behind your back. Sorry, I have... Put your other hand behind your back. Oh, small. You're hurting me.

You're hurting me. I'm disliked shoulder. You're hurting me. Anxiety, dislocated shoulder, personality disorder, female. She's got all... So many strikes. So many strikes. Check every back to this idiot.

All right. I have one more clip. a little bit longer. She gets back to the station. And, you know, obviously they've read her Miranda rights. They're letting her know she's been arrested. And she totally calms down and it's just a normal person. Just kidding.

Uh, watch this. You're not going to dictate how this goes. Okay, this isn't my first day on the job. Have a seat. I'm not having a seat. Your mom's number. Pick up the phone. Can I have my phone?

That's your mom's your number. I would like my phone. Doesn't matter. It's not how this goes. Where is she? Is my mom out there? Is my mom out there? She's a number.

No, she didn't. Yes, she didn't. What do I have to do? Do I dial nine? Just dial the number. I was no. According to court records, Catherine was charged with a first offense Dewey, refusing to submit to a chemical test to determine her blood alcohol concentration and resisting arrest.

She later accepted a plea agreement, entering a no-contest plea to the Dewey charge. In exchange, the remaining charges were dismissed. The court sentenced Catherine to one year of probation and suspended her driver's license. She was also ordered to complete 10 hours of community service, attend alcohol education and counseling, and pay $783.75 in fines and court costs. Anger management might be a good idea as well for this woman. Do you plead guilty to the charges? Yeah. I don't care. She sucks. If she could suck, softball through a garden hose, I wouldn't give a shit. I wish she would die trying.

That's what I think of her. Never spend a second with this woman. She sucks. Boy. Anyway. One of the worst I've ever seen. Thank you very much to Joshua McKay for sending that in. All right, let's check in on super chats.

Carl's aborted meth fetus thanks to the two bucks. Why are you showing video of my mommy, dad? Sorry about that. Daniel Adams, 3871. Thanks for the two bucks. Thanks for giving me a headache before work, Carl. Listen, here's a thing. I had to spend my morning with this.

So, yes, I'm passing it along to you people. And I cut out a lot of the nonsense. You're welcome. All right. Well, listen, Carl, I have a fun idea today. Okay. Let's hit voicemails the same way you do it on WATP. Oh.

Let's do it later in the show. What do you say? You want to do a scum parade? Sounds good. Let's go. All right. Let's try it out. Which button do I want to push?

How about this one? Scor parade. Take me all the raid. Fuck charades That these creeps have made Scull parade Vinny and Carl gonna tell you about some fuck shit

Like stories of a kid fucked by his mom or dad Soaking up the blood of a cat Scum parade I love that one It's so good to hear You know what makes me happy My hell yeah

In the chat Happy Super Chat Monday And happy National Shapeware Day. I'm not pleased with shapeware. No, no, no. Shapeware is not a happy thing. It doesn't work.

It shouldn't exist. It's horrified. Horrified. Thank you, my hell, yeah. It's good to see you. Watch the latest Weight Watchers if you don't know the evils of shapeware. Yes. Many presented it very well.

Shapeware is not a good thing. Listen, does it make a shape? Yes. Bowling ball shape. Right. It's not a good shape. It's like if the,

But if the Hoover Dam was made of spandex, I'm listening. It wouldn't be attractive. That's my point. I don't think as much people would want to look at it. It's well, son. Thanks. I try. So, Carl, let's start off in, I believe, Fresno, California.

I'll introduce you to this fellow here who kind of reminds me of a, kind of looks like Kevin Brennan. He was dragged out of someplace. Are we sure that's not Kevin Brennan? No. Okay, I can't say for sure. He wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing, that I could say for sure. He was arrested after refusing to come out of the ceiling of a plasma donation center where he was hiding.

Officers got a call Wednesday from the Grill Falls Biomat USA Plasma Center at Blackstone and Dakota reports that there was a naked man hiding inside the building's walls or ceiling. The unsettling discovery came when a patient donating blood looked up and saw a pair of eyes staring back from the ceiling. The donor alerted staff who immediately called 911. The way he describes like the Cheshire cat or something. You don't have to see eyes. You know, there's like a face and stuff. It's probably a nose in between. You know what I mean?

They make it seem like more menacing than it actually is. I mean, if you just saw a pair of eyes sneaking through like a cracked screen. Sure. Yeah. But I guess my point is who hasn't seen a naked man staring at them from the ceiling tiles before? Me? Get over it. I haven't.

Oh, you didn't see me there? No, I would. Interesting. Okay. How'd you get up there? I thought for sure you saw me. How'd you get up there? I thought that's why you were jacking off.

No, it was three o'clock. It's a three o'clock check. The three o'clock jack. Yeah, the old three o'clock check. So that I pretend I'm leaving the comedy club, but I stay. I just get up at the ceiling and watch what he's up to. Oh, now you know. Respounded officers found a 30-year-old man wedged inside the ceiling.

Police said he refused to come out and resisted an officer. before he's eventually taken into custody, despite repeated attempts by the officers to coax the man out of the hiding places. Come on. Come on. Who wants the ball? Here's the ball. Go get it. Go get it.

Look what I got. Reese's peanut butter cups. Oh, there's two of them in this pack. Yep. He refused and started kicking objects at them from the ceiling. Per the police in an attempt to escape. World Cup fever, am I right, people? Police said the man threw

What appeared to be a pipe at one of the cops Who was nearly struck in the head by the object He kept moving through the ceilings and the walls Through different rooms You know it's funny on a bonus show recently I played a cop cam There was a guy of Planet Fitness Who was in the ceiling

Yeah But the difference was He put the pipe in his butthole That's right That guy smuggled the pipe He smuggled the pipe He smuggled the pipe into the prison Now during the incident

They ended up having to use pepper spray to get them out of the walls. Yeah. And that migrated through the building to multiple tenants in the commercial building because it went through the air ducts. Yeah. So 41 people from several businesses, including the plasma center, joyride insurance company, Leslie's pool supplies and a planet fitness and a nearby hair salon all got blasted

with pepper spray. That cop is retarded. You don't say. He shot pepper spray into the ventilation system and that H-Back. What can go wrong? What an idiot. The man is facing numerous charges stemming from the incident, including felony vandalism, resisting arrest and assault with a deadly weapon. It is unclear why he was inside the ceiling of the building.

Oh, I think I know the answer. Cocaine is a hell of a drug. Um, I'm pretty sure. Let's talk about meth, baby. Let's talk about a yes, sir, re. Let's talk about all the bad things and the bad things meth and see. Let's talk about meth. Drugs are bad.

You shouldn't do drugs. Yeah, let's talk about drugs. This is a, we're going to go down to Florida for this one, Carl. Oh, I'm mad at that segue. This is James Westerbell. And he was charged with a creepy bucks. This past Thursday, Carl, Carl, a full two years, years after his six-month-old died in the hospital, Carl.

The child was just two months old when James here allegedly decided it would be fun to use a leaf blower on the baby. Yeah. So his defense was, I thought it was funny, which is a terrible defense. You should say, I'm evil and I wanted to murder my two-month-old because otherwise you look stupid. In a fun way. It seems like you're stupid if you're like, I had no idea that blowing a leaf blower at my a newborn baby would be bad for its health. The baby was placed on life support,

but died in August of 2024. The cause of death was blunt force trauma caused by bouncing. So earlier on the day, the leaves are going, the baby's rolling with them. Earlier on the day, it doesn't even say this in the article, but he made the kid drink from a fire hose.

Like, this guy was just having a fucking day with this newborn. He's having a blast. I want you to put the babies in his little car seat right here next to this hydrant. Where's my wretch? So he was previously facing child abuse charges stemming from the fatal incident. He remains in Marion County and is due back in September. What a fucking terrible thing.

Read the last sentence in this article. Westerval's attorney and the Marion County Sheriff's Office and not immediately return a request for comment. No. Or how about the one where it says the Belvie man was previously charged with possession of meth and drug paraphernalia in May? That's what I'm upset about. Don't bring meth into this. Why is meth?

They have the worst PR company in the world, meth. Like, why is that getting dragged through the mud in this article? Like the baby being thrown through the backyard. This guy is not high on meth. He's having fun with his newborn. And then they're like, by the way, the guy also did meth once. Like, someday, I'll do something heinous. And I won't get arrested for it.

And they're like, and Carl had been doing meth of the creepop. Like, there's nothing to do with anything. Meth is just a fun thing to do. It's not why I did the greatest thing that I'm going to do in the future. Yeah. Whatever Carl does,

whatever evil, monstrous thing Carl does, it's not Matt's fault, okay? I was drunk. I wasn't on math. Whatever I'm going to do with the future, I promise you I was drunk.

It will be alcohol-related. Alcohol-related. I feel like Booz is a better PR team. They sure do. You should see the commercials. I've never seen the fucking awesome meth Super Bowl commercial. No. No, there isn't like a most interesting man in the world who's like, I don't always do meth, but what I do?

I crush it. Don't tell Adam Bush I said this, but I'd much rather see the meth commercials than the Scientology commercials during the Super Bowl. I won't tell Adam you said that. Thank you. That's very mean. Okay. Can I be the face of meth? Would they hire me as their spokesperson?

Yeah, in fact, you already have a jingle for it. Where did my jingle go? Hold on. Take your time. I got this one. That ain't it. Dude, I have to do PDP on my channel at 4. How long are we going to drag this out for?

We just give up on it? Sure. Let's just move on. All right. This is Valentina Tobin Houno. Oh, hey. She's 25, Carl. She's a monster, Carl.

She's a little blurry, but I don't know if she's a monster. She is a monster, Carl. She's facing a felony animal cruelty charge, found an investigation in Brookhaven outside of Atlanta. Cops responded to a called animal cruelty around 2.30 p.m. Wednesday because witnesses said they were driving behind Valentina's car here when she saw kittens flying out of the vehicle's window as she was driving down the street. Okay. In her defense, those kittens wouldn't grow up to be like really shun. shitty cats who are just assholes. We've all met like asshole cats, right?

Not little tiny kittens. But they turn into them eventually. You know, it's like, it's like if I had a time machine, I'd kill baby Hitler. No one's mad about that. She's chucking kittens out who are going to, like, just bite you and not be friendly. You know what? I've always thought about that. I would never want to go kill baby Hitler.

I'd wait till he's like a 20-year-old shithead. Then you go do it, nobody'd be as mad. If you go kill a baby, that's way harder. Interesting. Does he have to be a baby when you murder him? I think the reason why people say that is because it's easier to murder a baby, but you're right. What's the sport in that? Like, oh, wow, you killed a baby.

Good for you. No, it would be way better. No, I saved 6 million people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. No, you're a baby killer asshole. Whatever the number is. I'm not going to debate that with you here because we both, it's on both of our channels. But no, the point is, there's a lot more sport in it if the guy's like trying to become

an artist in Austria and you're like, hey, get over here. And you're like chasing him with a hammer. That's like more interesting. I think you're right. Dude, guess what? Let's get back on task. Oh, does not manufacture, distribute or understand methamphetamine. He just likes it an uncomfortable amount.

Found it. I forgot about that. That's not rules. That's what I was looking. for. Listen, I'm not saying you should do it every day is my point, you know? Right. Maybe weekends or what about this?

What if instead of murdering baby Hitler, Carl, back to the topic. Yeah. What if I just found a way to create an abortion with Hitler's mom? Like, what if I find Hitler's pregnant mom and punch her in the stomach, tripper, put a plunger in the toilet? What did she ever do? Hold on a second. No, I don't like this. It's up.

Pop rocks into her Coke. I don't like this at all. This is a lovely Austrian woman who probably is a great value to society. She has no idea their son's going to get all but hurt about not being able to serve in World War I. I was a painter. I don't think you should take it out on his mom. Okay. Just a just a thought.

Either way, this bitch is throwing cats out of window. Yeah, kids. Of a moving car. Yeah. So when the cops get a description. in the car, they try to find her. They found one of the cats. There was two surviving eight-week-old kittens.

One of them died. A veterinary treated the animal for a dislocated tail. How is that? I've never heard of that before. Because you never threw a cat out of fucking car window. That's true. Actually, that is very true. I've never done that.

And fun fact, they roll a bunch before they land on their feet. It's not good to do. What speed are we talking about? If you're parked, you can throw a cat out the window, right? No one cares? Correct. Okay. Correct.

Officer search of the area located the deceased kitten on the roadway, and they were able to track down her car, and she has been arrested. Jail record shows she was released on bond, and she's waiting for her upcoming court appearance. But, uh, folks, do not throw fucking kittens out of car windows, you assholes. Right. Hmm. I also stand by that statement. All right.

I got another story for you. you, Carl. This is the Reverend Timothy Cheneyfield. He's 42 years old. He is the pastor of the St. James United American Free Will Baptist Church in Winterhaven, Florida. And he's been arrested on charges that stem from inappropriate contact with a child. The special victims unit began investigating July 28th after receiving these cybertip from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. During an interview, the 14-year-old victim said he and Cheneyfield met up on a dating app and later continued talking on Instagram, the platform that generated the tip. What's the point of being a pastor at a church if you're hooking up with children online? They come into the building every Sunday. Yeah, but you can't shit where you eat. Well, I know, but that's how you meet children. Then why are you doing this?

No, he has a responsibility to the families that attend his service. they kick up 10%. He doesn't fuck their kids. Okay. All right. Well, in that case, good point. What is he Catholic? He's not Catholic. That's true.

The Catholic, they do it wrong. You're right. Now that I think about it. So Cheneyfield picked up the teen up on three consecutive days at the entrance of the victim's subdivision and drove him to his house where the two had sex for three days in a row. Oh, so this kid was into it. Apparently. In the phone call, Cheneyfield told the boy he wanted to continue. You have a 14-year-old kid and there's a little bit.

a 42-year-old pastor who's like trying to fuck you, you got to play hard to get. Right? A little bit. Like on day two, you're like, ah, I'm playing video games. You know, something. This kid's too eager. Well, all this chat and shit on Instagram got reported. Oh.

Instagram ratted them all out. And the kid just told the cops what happened. Zuckerberg will do that. Here's the deal. This guy flew to Baltimore because he presides over funerals for hospice or something. the cops obtained an arrest warrant and they took him into custody when he returned to the airport. And in a separate invest, well, he basically told the cops, yeah, he admitted to the sexual activity with the minor. And then in a separate investigation, another adult man told deputies he had sex with Chameyfield and later learned that Chameyfield is HIV positive.

He's taking medication for and did not disclose this status to either the adult or the child. Are you sure this is the man who sexually assaulted you? I'm HIV-positive. That's a South Park joke. Come on, Carl! That is a South Park joke. I stole. He faces three counts of lewd battery of a minor,

three counts of interfering with the custody of a minor, one count of unlawful use of two-way communication. Advice three counts of traveling to meet a minor, four counts of HIV-infected person, having sex without informing a partner, one count of possession of marijuana, and five counts of possession of drug paraphernalia. We'll pass out the marijuana.

I'm on to think. You know, Jim Norton famously started thinking prep many years ago before he was married because of his lifestyle. This 14-year-old kid should have known. Yeah. This 14-year-old kid's in prep school. Well, I'm just saying he should have known he was going to go off with any stranger in the United Westwood.

What is prep, though? That's the AIDS thing, right? Yeah, that's the HIV thing. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So they take that to prevent the spread. Yes.

Is it something that you take when you're diagnosed with it? No. It's just something you take to prevent it. To prevent it. You ever see the commercials during football where there's like these like gay guys who are just like, hey, look at me. I'm just like a normal gay guy who like hangs out with other dudes and sometimes they put their dick at my butt. That's what that's about? It is, it's hard to tell.

I thought those were Bud Light commercials. Why is Shane Gillis in this prep commercial? Shane? You don't need the money? Oh, Jesus. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I have to rethink a lot of things now.

Who are these commercials coming to the Who Are These Podcast channel soon? Carniv's the co-host. Oh, gay. Is this prop commercial gay? Oh, boy. So anyone with information about possible additional contact between Cheneyfield and maybe your own asshole, you might want to call the Polk County Sheriff's Office at 863-298-6200. Serious call.

Also, pee into a cup and get that checked. Yep. Good advice. Yep. Carl, it's been a blast. It has been. A fun episode today. We're going to hit up your voicemails after.

Can we do after I leave? That'd be awesome. I got shit to do. No, let's play voicemails real quick as quickly as possible. You got it coming up. McBride didn't send this one today, so here we go. Carl, what the hell are you doing, stomping your shit to the shower drain? it's 2026 and you own it home.

Get a garbage disposal installed. Yeah. Would you just shit down the garbage disposal instead of... That's a good point. I don't stop on my poo in the shower. I don't know where that rumor got started. It's not the thing I do. The old waffle stump.

Don't do that. Hey, Ronnie in Syracuse. Miaoschwitz. Meowschwitz. Vinny, I've spoken to the tribunal that manages the comedians in the Rochester area. your license to perform comedy has been revoked. Good. Thank you.

Talk to you. Bye. From Yowschwitz? Dude. That's true, by the way. I thought I was on that panel. I was going to say, Vinny hasn't performed comedy in decades.

He knows about that. Ah. You know, everybody, by the way, here just being clear. Me and some white claws. Everyone knows about Albert Einstein,

but they never mentioned. the fact that his brother, Frank, was a real monster. Anyways, Carl, I was about to call it and give you a shit for your fucking guy, you know, just being this scumbag cop, but he really brought it home with that, uh, famicide or whatever the fuck it's called. Yeah, like, that was fucked.

I mean, Vinny, anybody can bring in a kid fucker, you know? I mean, if he's prolific or not, whatever. Because that's just, that's just the easy thing to do. Carl fucking brought it. Vote Carl. Vinny fucking Spitty. Thank you. Fuck you.

Bye. Also, love you. Love you, too. Oh. Someone was listening to the podcast. They're not too happy with me. Who is that? A jerk off cat.

All right. Let's hit these real quick. Labr and Mystic. Thanks to jokes. $3. $3. Jack. This isn't the night.

shift, is it? No. Vinny's an afternoon jacker. The man was trying to donate his plasma. I get it. Don't mess with Mr. Booz. That's right, Labr and Mystic. Don't you mess with Mr. Booz? That name again is Mr. Booz.

Wrong song, wrong cartoon. Oh. Which part did I mess up? All of it? Great. It's been a good show today, Carl. I know you've got things to do. You've made that very clear over the last 15 minutes.

Well, I need to eat some food before I do. Point Dabble Point. Carl, we don't want you to have a rumbly tummy for point. You know who's on PDP today? Who care? What? Who? Earl David Reed, our friend. Oh, tell him. I said, hello. EDR is on the show. He's mad at me, I think. No, he's not. EDR's never mad at anyone. He was a little passive at me. Really? A little passive regressive. Do you want to tell me on the air? Sure. Yeah. I think he was sad. He didn't, uh, wasn't part of the festival. Oh, he should have been part of the festival. Yeah. He will be next year. Well, hold a second. What would he have done?

I could have used some help in the parking lot. Right. You're right. He could have directed people right over here, sir. Or, you know what else EDR could have done is clean this fucking comedy club. We had the cleaner come into our show while we were live on the air on our bonus show. Andrew Vity had told her beforehand, we're doing a live show. Do not come anywhere near to this part of the comedy club.

She walks in, comes around my desk, tries to grab the garbage can that's below me. She's telling Carl to move. She's like, move out of my way. I'm like, we're on the air. And Vinny freaked out of there. It was very funny. That's what you're missing. We're not on Patreon.com slash the creep off.

Also, go there to vote. Do we have any super tips that have come in? Nope. Wow. Disappointed. I'm very upset. Disappointed. Very upset.

You're all dead to me. But you know what? We'll be back on Friday with another great bonus episode. And I have a question for you, Carl. The answer is no. I will not have sex with you. That was definitely not the question at all. Okay.

I forgot what the question was. I was to ask you something about what we want to cover on Friday, but we'll figure that out on off air. We'll be back on Friday. For those of you who tuned in live today, thanks. We're live every Monday at 1 o'clock. All are welcome. Hope to see you next week here. We just got a super chat that came in.

Lebron Mystic Super Tip Vinny. Oh, Lebertinger Misty says there is a super tip. I'm looking here. the system, and Labarmistic would know. More so than, I trust him more than I trust other people. Like you, many, specifically. I trust you as far as I can throw you. And I'm a weak, weak man.

Uh, okay. I got my hell yeah. All right. I got principled uncertainty. Oh, you're going through the, uh, this is what I got. I have no new super tips here. No new super tips. All right, well, Labermissic, maybe I'm the asshole.

What the fuck with this thing? It'd be a first time. I gotta go. Can I go now? Please go, Carl. My off the clock. It's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice.

Bye, everybody. We really ended strong. Put that plane right into it, brother. It's his baby true. Oh, does not manufacture, distribute, or understand methamphetamine. He just likes it in a lot. Uncomfortable amount!