The Creep Off - Episode 326: The Pig That Ate St. Louis

Episode Date: August 17, 2026

This week, Karl and Vinnie are diving into the world of OnlyFans to find out who can uncover the Creepiest OnlyFans Model. We’ll also check in on Karl’s Cop Cam, march some fresh scumbags through the Scum Parade, and find out if Vinnie will be spinning the wheel.Don’t forget to vote for who brought the biggest creep at patreon.com/thecreepoff.  Check out this week’s scum parade stories here: Naked woman arrested after driving stolen Pleasant Prairie fire vehicle - WISNMan drove corpse around to use car, sell jewelry: CopsActon teen charged with murder used ChatGPT for 'fantasies' about killing family, DA saysElderly man handed life sentence for raping 4-year-old boy at in-home day care centerThe score is currently Vinnie 0 - Karl 0 – Guest 4 Want more of the madness? Support the show on Patreon, Supercast to snag exclusive merch and get an extra bonus episode every week!Don’t forget you can leave us a voicemail at 585-371-8108You can follow our results girl Mahalia @mahellllyeahYou can follow our Results girl Danni on Instagram @Danni_Desolation

If you're a kid, don't get on here, okay? See, that's how you do a disclaimer. You tell the kids that get out to fuck off the damn page. Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation.

Horror shock. I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive, And I'm not back in there. What the hell is it supposed to be? Disgusting, vomiting, ducing thing. Ola, creepos. Welcome to another episode of your favorite true crime podcast. This show about creeps, buy creeps for all you creeps.

I'm your host. My name is Vinnie. And joining me in studio. It's my co-host, my rival, my nemesis, and sometimes my pal. It's hot cuck-c-c-c-c-carl. I'm only your friend on Fridays we do the bonus episodes. Oh, that's right. It's competition today.

And I will tell you this. The bonus show that we just did this past Friday, one of the craziest cop cams I've ever seen in my life. This was out of a movie. A madge truck robbery, the high-speed chase, the way it concluded with a hostage situation. Holy shit. It was incredible. A hero cop.

Do you know when Carl on his show plays that drop of Tom Myers? It's just what we do is a hero who goes into a building, stuff like that. You know, it's no different than, you know, police officer running to the scene of a crime or a firefighter running into a burning building. It's what I do. Yeah. Imagine what Tom Myers thinks he is in his own head. Yep. Times 10 in real life.

This guy is wild. So anyway, the bonus shows are always fun. Get on our Patreon and or on our YouTube channel. You can gift those memberships to say is Super Chat Monday. You can also go to supertip.g.g. slash creep and participate in the show with some very fun AI voices over there. Yeah. In fact, we got to talk about those real quick.

Because for some reason when Labrador Mystic sends them, They're not coming through till like after the show. And I don't understand why. I feel like I think I've gotten Labyrinth Mystic ones late on my channel as well. And I do not understand if maybe he's watching on a delay and is responding to it late. Yeah. I don't know. I don't want to blame him.

It's probably a time zone thing. I'm assuming it's Patrick Mountain's fault. You know, speaking of tech problems, I just want to point out something funny that happened this morning, a little behind the scene stuff. So I think we've talked about this before. Our producer Alex does a nice job of putting together some suggestions for Vinny and me when we're picking our creeps from a certain category. today being only fans models. And the last couple of weeks, I've not been getting the list. Vinny gets it, I don't get it.

So I sent an email to both Alex and Vinny's. Hey, I don't know if you set this out or not. I didn't receive it. And Vinny's response is, did you check your WATP email? Now, I don't know what you think of me, Vinny. Obviously, you don't think very highly of me at all. I know that Moody thinks of a retard when it comes to computers. I know Melton thinks that when it comes to computers.

You don't think I get all of my email in one place on Gmail. You don't think I redirect my WATP email to the one email inbox that I look at every fucking day. Well. Do you think of that stupid? I'm like, oh, I should check my other email? Bhr. 100%. Yes, I do.

I do. I do. I do it. Okay, okay. And allow me to elaborate just a little bit. Yeah. You fucking mutt. Alex sent me a screenshot this past week of the email.

Yeah. Showing that he sent it to WATP show. I know. I don't get. Brian Mike, I had this problem with him for a little while where his emails weren't coming through to my WTP email account. I don't know what's going on. It's not my spam. It's nowhere to be found.

If anyone knows what I can do to fix it. Let me know. Is the audio horrible? Well, Carl was yelling, screaming, and I just lowered you a little bit. Oh. Yeah. Don't lower me too much. People need to hear what I have to say.

I know they do, buddy. I know they do. It's very important. Check, check. Yeah, we're good. Okay. Okay. So.

You think the audio's bad now. Wait, do we get my hell? on from her phone. Speaking of technical difficulties. Mahalia is coming on today because there's a very good chance I'm going to have to spin the fucking wheel. She's going to do the results, but she's also the keeper of our consequences.

That's correct. So if I have to spin the wheel, I thought the best thing, I think the best thing that we need to do is bring her on. That way we could discuss all of that if it needs to happen. Okay. All right. So let's see if she got her audio working.

Mahalia. Did we? Are we live? We can hear you. Landscape, my dear, landscape. Landscape would be better. But also, you sound better than you do when you're on your computer. It's less echoing and annoying. Perfect.

I hope so. Apparently the iPhone, yeah, microphone is the winner. Yeah. Throwing the laptop out the window here. This is the best you've ever sounded and looked at our show. This is it. Well, good to know. Now we know moving forward that we're sticking to the iPhone.

Okay. Meeting adjourned. How do you go, boys? Meeting adjourned. What is going on? Mahalia, great to see you from lovely Las Vegas. Do you have the results from last week's competition? I do not want to fucking spin over this. I know my guy was way worse than yours last week. What was the category last week? Creepiest mechanic. Yep, it sure was. While I think all mechanics are a little bit creepy. We do have someone who was slightly creepier than the other. So hate to be the bearer of bad news. But, With 63% of the vote, Carl wins and Vinny. That's right. Cuzzaroo. Cuzzaro.

Thank you. All the Couseroo's out there voting for your pal, Carl. That was game point. That means I win this round. This is my third round in a row, Vinny? Is that what's going on right now? He's the creep. Why are you people doing this to me?

You know, when we had this meeting, the show was invented to torture Carl people. To torture Carl. That is true. Not Vitty. You're still way ahead of me in the overall count. I will be forever because I spent a good four years kicking the shit out of your house. It's going to be a long time before I even up the score. Oh, no.

What are the terrible things that they could put me in, put on the wheel of consequence is for next week when I spin, my hell. What do you got, my hell yeah? We have some terrible things. We have, I actually had an idea for the will of consequences, if I may. Please. So today is actually national, I love my feet day. So I propose that to spread the confidence of feet and to give them the attention that they deserve, that our audience should submit their feet picks to the consequences,

email and the loser has to bear through an entire slide show of all of the lovely feet picks. All right. Malia, this isn't your kink. I'm wondering, what is this? Absolutely not. This is for actual. If anyone would like to send Mahalia feet picks. I know, I was going to say, Malia is the one who watches that inbox.

So she's going to get to see all the feet. Just like you forward call, I know how to forward that right to you. Let me ask you a question, Malia. Would you prefer guys sending their feet picks or girls to this? Yes, send you. I think everyone should love their feet. I would prefer girls, but I think to be a real consequence, I think we need all the, I don't want to see, but I think to be placed upon you, Carl, and to honor our fans as well.

All right. That's an interesting idea for the wheel of consequences. Any other suggestions from listeners? From listeners, we do have some interesting ones coming in, buying the new gray Buffalo Bills jersey. Oh, my God. I like that. What do you think of Josh Allen maybe? Yeah. I'd rather go to a fucking game in that shitty stadium of theirs. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, God. No. Going to a game with that jersey on. Yes. Double whammy. High and tight. It said, how about Vinny gives Carl a foot rub? Neither one of us would allow that.

And don't tickle me, Vinny. So, oh, you stop tickling over there. You stop at you. That'll fuck you guys. Fuck all of you. By the way, I'd rather Vinnie suck up my cock than give me a foot rub. That's the gayest thing ever. I'd rather. Carl suck on my cock to give Carl a foot rub with terrible teeth. Yeah, so I guess what we learned is said feet picks to Mahalia at creep off consequence ideas at gmail.com. What did you say today was National what? National, I love my feet day. Who created this holiday? Because usually it's like National Wash Your Hands Day and there's like some product behind it.

Who invented this? I can't say where all of these great holidays come from. just know that every day is a reason to celebrate. So on top of Super Chat Monday, I think everyone should give their feet a little love and send the love to the loser, but I think, Carl, you're a little bit overdue. So this one might be just for you. Okay. What other suggestions do we have? Other submissions, this one I was a little torn on because kind of sounds like fun, and I may join you. But loser has to take some acid and visit a house of Muriel. Oh, yeah, that's a good one.

That is a good one. Could it be mushrooms? As keeper of the consequences, I will allow it. I think that that is within... A house of mirrors. Where are you even going to find that? We talked about this. I mean, I've been to Seabries over a decade, but they used to have one.

Do they still have shit like that as Seabrys? They don't have a house of mirrors and seeps. What are you going to do, chase me around with a full length? You've come visit me. I'm sure they have lots of cool art, chirping museums out here. So just another reason to come visit me and visit. I guess. Okay.

All right. Any other ideas? We also have going to woke dad's coffee, saying something racist, and having him just totally changing your life. I love that one. I would have been here sooner. I would have been here sooner with this freaking, the way these Asians are driving on the street really slowed me down, Daniel. Oh, man, I was on my way here to get some coffee. I saw some kids doing art.

and I had to fucking medicine. Hey, this is from a spick country, right? I only like coffee because from one of those spick countries. Okay. We also have... Objectively the funniest idea. I like that one a lot.

Woke-dad coffee shop trip. Okay. We'll put it on the wheel. We also have both doing a bonus episode with Vito Giswaldi where you have to review anime comics for an entire hour. Or there's also some... one suggested talking like Scott Farrell for an entire episode, which that might hurt a little bit. Yeah, Scott Farrell?

Farrell, I don't think so. Hey, dog, yeah, you know, and I'm just a sound like Carl. So we have to do a, you do a show with Vito about anime? Does Vito know this? Viewing anime. Yeah, okay. With Vito Jalding. Well, by the way, I'm doing a Vito show this Thursday night.

I'll be on the biggest problem in the universe. Are you really? I am really. That's hysterical. I know, so I'm doing my own cattyqueds outside of this. creep off. Oh, boy. Look at you. He hits you up to be a guest host, huh? No, she reached out to him. He said he was looking for guest host, so I said, I'll do that.

Okay. That's very sweet of you. Right? You're a nice guy sometimes, Carl. He's just going to stir shit, everybody. Carl's on his way to stir some shit over a biggest problem. Don't miss it Thursday night. That's right. I'm Team Dick. You know that. No fooling. So, uh, Mahalia, where can everybody find you? Writing that down, Team Dick, Carl said. Let's see that dick. Uh, Mahalia, where can everybody find you? Everybody find me at Mahalia 5Ls on Instagram. And you can also submit to your consequence ideas to creep off consequence ideas at gmail.com.

All right. We will see you later. Cutting out a little bit. Yeah, thanks, Malia. Get your internet fixed. It was so good at first, though. Man. She sounded great.

And then it turned to that thing. I want to do the woke dead thing. That's great. That, that, can we put that on the wheel four to? Can I just like take it now? Can I just say I'll go do it? I would love that. I would love that.

I'll go do it. You know, we have a competition today. Before we get into the competition, the creepiest only fans model, which I'm excited about. I think we have some fun ones today. We should probably celebrate Super Chat Monday because that's what these fine folks want us to do.

And I can tell that because they are putting in their super chats. They certainly are. Let's start off with Space Age Hamburger. Just became a YouTube member. Thank you. and someone just got a gift membership by Chris Primer. Thank you, Chris Primer. Just do it.

And he also gave out a creepoff channel membership. Thank you very much, Chris. Folks, if you are watching on the Who Are These podcast channel, that's great. We're glad that you found the show and you're enjoying it. But if you don't mind at some point, maybe stick your head over to the creep off channel and hit subscribe, like over there. It helps us out. You have a mode in you. And I see this all the time, but that just came through.

So, really emcees, he just emceited event. this past weekend, big, big outdoor rock show. And when he gets hired to come on and introduce the band and let you know about the hot tub giveaway and everything else you got to do. You just did your... The I and family of dealership. Exactly.

Dude, they made the singer from Joy Wave give out the fucking hot tub last night. Anyway, not the point. It was so weird. Dude, the middle of the Joy Wave sat. It's like seven minutes of him just like reading through all the perks and benefits of this hot tub and the company that's supplying it, the winner. Anyway.

That's insane. It's insane. What you just did, though, I've seen you at comedy clubs. You have to be like, all right, guys, I want to let you know the shows that are coming up. And don't forget to tip your weight staff. Do us a favor? Go to, yeah, and please give us a five-star review. Go to Carlsoncom.

You can see all the upcoming shows. Damon Wayne's Jr. This weekend, everybody. You just did that exactly thing. Folks, we love that you're over there. And who are these podcasts, YouTube Channel. I'll let you know if you want to hop on over here to the creep off and give some memberships. I guess I'm a piece of shit for that.

I don't know why you can be creep. It's funny. I just recognized it. All right. Sorry, back to the task at hand. I don't know why you're not going over to the starred thing so we can read these. I don't know what your problem is. What are you talking about?

Will you just go to the starred tab so we can see all the super chants? Thank you. Jesus Christ. I'm running it from super tips because I'm trying a new thing that he has. Oh, you're doing the super tip thing that I can yell at that we're not doing. You're such a fucking pain of the ass. You're such a fucking pain of the ass. Why do you think you're so goddamn perfect that you could just interrupt me every fucking five seconds?

We haven't even got to the good part of the show yet. You're right. You're raging asshole. You fucking raging tampon of a man. I'm taking the owl. I'm taking the owl on this one. You're right? It's because every other episode we've ever done in the history of the show when I say,

we're celebrating Super Shep Monday, you go to the Star tab. And he's still defending it. He's taking the owl and he's still going. Do you see this? It's your show, Vinny. Take it away. Hey, folks, you know what you can do. You can head over to the cruise.

Robbubb channel. Go on, take it away, buddy. I want to thank Abney, 591. He gave what to supertip.g. It left us a fantastic supertip. Being a cuck on OnlyFans, we're probably earned thousands more a month that drop-shipped coffee. Someone passed that on.

Who's that, too? Is that the guy from... Jeremy Hambly from the quartering. Yeah. Yeah, his drop-shipped coffee. Ebeney's still coming. And keeping with the Scottish Kilt Wheel should include watching last month's episode of Glasgow Soap Opera River City

or bagpipe enema. Carl, how do you... Enema it is. No, thanks. Bagpipe enema. Jim said us two bucks, said Carl check Discord DM. I sent Vinia Clip, L.O.L. Oh, shit. I didn't check your DM yet. I'll get on that.

Okay. Um, great. I think we got them. You ready to do a reep off, Carl? Rocco Orby was the first one in, off topic. I'm not even going to say it. Off topic, who do you think of the Bill Stadium? The new Bill Stadium. My YouTube feet is clogged with videos of it having horrific views.

That's the big news right now. Here's what's going to happen. You know what? I renamed the stadium. Oh, what is it? Lomark. Lomark Stadium, everybody. Easy enough.

That's why you're a comedian. Used to be. It's obviously getting dragged quite a bit for having some of obstructed views. But for the most part, my buddy was there. He said it's an amazing stadium. stadium, lots of great restaurants and amenities. It doesn't bother you to know that every beer sold and every sandwich there just makes the governor's husband rich. Yes.

It does. That does bother me. I mean, everything about the stadium should bother you. Everything about it. My favorite team plays in it, though. So I like that. Oh, my God. And their logos on the field?

It's talk about having to put the blinders on to support all of it. The NFL is so gluttonous and awful. Yeah. And New York State is so gluttonous and awful. Why would I think that when they got into bed together that we wouldn't be just wildly fucked over by them? The worst thing about the NFL. And this is, there's no argument to this.

About 20 years ago, the NFL got real greedy and they said, what if we got women into the NFL? We have 50% of the population who's not watching these games. Let's get them into it. And then what happened after that, Benny? You can't celebrate touchdowns. You can't tackle the quarterback. Oh, no.

You hit the wide receiver before the ball got there. You're rejected from the fucking game. What kind of pussy sport does this become? It's because women started watching and they're like, oh, this is too violent. Ugh. So that's the NFL's biggest problem. It was cool when it was just lesbians hanging out watching the games. That's what I'm saying.

It was great. That's my point. I know you are, buddy. Okay, so, uh, competition. Ring the bell. Creepest, only fans, I think you were present me, though.

Nah. I am going first, and so, uh, I'm going to present to you a very charming lady named Nicolette Keo. And if you want to pull up her full body pick, I think is a good place to start. This, uh, only fans model was 31 years young. Coming up one second. What? And, uh, boy is, uh, is she lovely if you like a skinny girl and you like a cute face?

Oh, I do. Yeah. I'm into it. That would be my type, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, that's the bikini pick. I like boobs and vaginas. Yeah. Yeah, she's doing it for me too.

And then the other pick I have on there is the full body one. If you want to pull that one up. Oh, in the bathroom? No, not that, not that yet. Nope. All right, whatever. This one, I'm sorry. They're literally labeled the names that I'm saying to you, but whatever.

It's fine. I'm sorry, Carl. He has to put them all the tabs first, but it's just like, just pull them up as I tell you. Anyway, not a big deal. Very lovely lady, right? You'd probably want to check out her only fan. You want to see what kind of content she has on there. I know I do.

Well, we're going to find out... What was she getting in a month? We're going to find out, I have no idea. We're going to find out what kind of content she's making in my clip number one, a quick news item. A Pensacola woman has been arrested for allegedly peeing on and damaging furniture in two local Airbnbs. 31-year-old Nicolette Keogh was arrested following a complaint filed by the owner of the Airbnb's overproprofen property damage. The complaints mentioned a strong odor of urine and over $5,000 in damages for items like rugs, antique chairs, electronics, and even a toaster. Kiyo admitted to being an adult

content creator who makes video content where she urinates on items. She peed out a toaster? Yeah, I got some problems with this, but I'll be honest. That's dangerous. That is dangerous. Don't pee on the electric fence and don't pee on a toaster. I guess the problems with this. First off, as you know, I put my home in Florida up for Airbnb and rentals, right? And I knew a YouTuber who had butt sex with women and shit all over the walls. And wiped it all over. Yeah, I just dick off all over the walls. Senator John definitely threatened me with that at one point. So I'm not a fan of this woman, A, pissing all over the furniture and appliances in an Airbnb, but B, her piss stinks, too?

A hydrate lady. What are we doing here? Why do you have dark yellow, stinky, pee pee. She's in Florida. You know, you get dehydrated easy. That's true. Also, it's possible that that's what the guy's like. They want it to be real yellow and stinky when it's coming out. So now you can check out these images of her in the bathroom. I think this is on brand for her.

I think she has a little bit of fun. She's like, hey, look at me. I'm in the bathroom. You know how I like to pee on stuff? Sometimes I pee in a toilet. I'm just kidding. She never pees in the toilet. She goes in there just to do a quick photo up. God. Looking good, too, isn't she? Yes. Speaking of a feet day. Anyway, if you like to pee on things, does that make you a pervert? Well, hold on.

Like, why didn't you get peed on makes you a pervert? Sure. But just like peeing on other things make you a pervert? Okay, so is she a pervert for peeing on things or are the people who are paying her money to watch her pee on things, the pervert? That's not in question. I want to know she's perverted. I want to know she's perverted or a good time. You see what I'm saying?

I think it's both. Okay. I like the idea, like, is this a girl a pervert or a good time? Like, well, that's the definition of a good time. My clip number two, we get more into the property damage from this news report. According to arrest records, Nicolette Keo rented two downtown Pensacola Airbnb homes and ruined $3,000 worth of furniture inside. There was a young lady inside making money in a very unusual way that damaged somebody else's

property. An arrest report says Keo urinated on various pieces of furniture around the homes. There's a list of items including a television. A record player, a coffee pot, some bedding, some carpeting, I believe, or a rug. The chat is divided on those. Straight dogs are better behaved than this woman. The shed is divided. Some guys are turned off.

Others are enjoying this quite a bit. King of all diff says, guess I'm a pervert. All right, you're learning about yourself. That's good. So let me just read from the Toronto Sun, which, by the way, coined this, the Air B&P. Okay. Air B&P. Okay.

I like it. According to them, she urinated on an antique crowned royal chair rug typewriter, four dining chairs, coffee pot, bed, TV record player, electric fireplace, a vase, a green rug, an accent wall, chair, a tiger rug. She's peeing all over this house. But it wasn't just one house, many, it was two houses, until she was arrested. And then other Airbnb owners got wise to this. And they went, wait a second, I swear I've seen that woman.

Did we rent... Martha, didn't we run to a Nicolette? Can you look that up? Clip number three, more charges. Oh, no. A Pensacola woman accused of urinating on Airbnb property is back in jail tonight. As more rental property owners are coming forward saying they are victims. Nicolette Keo is accused of taking videos of herself,

urinating on furniture, appliances, and betting, and posting it to adult content websites to make money. Now with these latest charges, she's now in jail without Bond. And she was made an appearance in video court today. Brent Carney was there. And Brendan, in past cases, Kea was allowed to post bond, but not this time. Can I just say the best part of that video so far was the shifty looking black guy at the court room behind him who's just like, what? She's peed on somebody.

I've murdered my mother. Dude, she's like this cute little petite girl and these hardened criminals behind her. She does not belong there. They don't know what to do with themselves. They're all coming out of it. Yeah, I know. They're all just like, this chick's fucking hot. Holy shit.

And was revoked because of a previous battery charge that was learned in court today. Pensacal police say more charges could be coming if more homeowners come forward. Yep. Will more homeowners come forward? Probably, because she's been doing this for months. We're going to find out my last clip, number four. Oh, no. Pensacal police officer, Mike Wood, says they arrested Keio again.

on Wednesday after another homeowner came forward. Keo was first arrested in March after a homeowner claimed she filmed herself urinating on the furniture inside two Pensacola Airbnbs. Police claim she caused more than $5,000 in damage. This time the arrest report states she urinated on a leather sofa, multiple luxury mattresses, and a chair at a different rental on Riddick Street. The homeowner told police the damage was $17,395. If you put all the reported crimes together, police say Keo's urine caused $22,750 in damage.

This has been going off for several months involving several different properties. And with this latest arrest, there's one more, and we do believe that there's going to be more than that. That's amazing. Okay. To answer the question of the chat, everybody's going, who puts antique furniture to do an Airbnb? Well, I would answer a question with a question. Who owns Airbnb's gay men? Oh, I didn't see that.

Okay, because I didn't see that coming. By the way, urinating on a mattress? Who hasn't done that? At least once. Yeah, that seems pretty difficult. Everybody's done at least once. Let's pull up her mugshot again. You know what I love about this girl?

She's a creep and a weirdo and a pervert. But you know how much fun she's having? Even when she's getting arrested, she's like, did I do that? I think I can fix her. 50 bucks says there's a puddle around her feet while they're taking this I think I can fix her. Nicolette, when you get out, look me up. WTP Show at gmail.com.

And that is my creep. Patreon.com slash the creepoff. Go vote for Nicolette Keo. That's a good presentation. I did not see that come from. That's wild. All right, everybody. My presentation, Carl, did not pee on anything.

You don't know that. I hope she didn't. My choice for the creepiest only fans model is her name is Sierra. Jane Insco, Carl. Okay. Her only fans operated under variations of the name corn bread fed. Here's a picture. Jesus Christ.

We were doing only fans models today, Benny. Did you not get the memo? Creepiest only fans models, Carl. Yeah, but they have to be on only fans, though. Yeah, her. She was on only fans, yeah. They let her sign up with an account? Yeah.

Yeah. Can we call the CEO of only fans right now? I think we should. I need a spokesperson or someone to explain this to me. Well, Carl, you, some people like cornbread fed. No, they settle for corn bread fed. Carl, would it make you feel better if I showed you a picture of her gussing up a bit? Please, yeah, I guess.

Let's see Miss Piggy. Oh, that's the best picture of her I have. That's AI. That's not even her. Okay. Now, I actually, because I knew you weren't going to believe me. How much is she making a month, Benny? Not much.

But Carl, here's the deal. I knew you were. were going to believe me. So I had to scour the internet to find some actual clips from her oldie fans. Just hold on. Just the grand cleagle in the chat about me coming out of other people's looks. I don't expect to make money off of my looks. I don't have an oldie fans account, all right?

Correct. These are people who are signing up for oldie fans. Now, hold on one second. I just want to make sure I have this set up right here. Okay. Yeah. So without giving away too much of her content, here's some eclipse from her only fans. There she is walking.

away from the camera. You get me beating off on YouTube. Hold on. Hold on. There she is. She's like laying in the pool. She's laying in her slop. There she is. She's such an asshole. There she. Ooh. It's such an asshole. Look at her go. Yeah.

All right. That's her good side, obviously. Clearly. Her bio reportedly read, one sentence, Carl. I enjoy pleasuring others. Spoiler alert, she did not. She is one of the biggest pieces of shit, humid beads I have ever talked about on this show. Really? This woman fucking sucks on every level.

And she is most certainly the creepiest woman on OnlyFans. Okay. So OnlyFans model was her primary source of income, Carl. But depending on who she was talking to, she had some other jobs. She was the foreman of a ranch, an ER nurse, whatever the fuck else she needed to be in a conversation. She's what you call a big fat liar. Oh, it's like Chad Zumach's stand-up bet. He's like, you guys ever just try a lying?

I tell people I'm a dentist. I'm a busy dentist. Right. Good jokes, Chad. She, when she wasn't selling her content online, she was selling bullshit by the pound. Unfortunately, for you, she was a scammer as well. One of her favorite things in the world, Carl, was a truck. She liked four-by-four pickup trucks.

Yep. And- Because they would actually be able to haul her. Yes. In June 2022, Sierra told a Mississippi man she met via only fans named Aaron Smith. This Simp lived nearby, she found out, and told him that her mother had been in a car accident. Smith was nice enough to lend her his 2002 Chevy Silverado truck. 2002? Yes. So this is a 20-year-old truck.

More than that. Oh, yeah, yeah, 24-year-old truck. So just so she could get a 20-year-old truck. just so she could get around because of the other car, you know, being totaled because of the accident that never happened with her mother. So she allegedly thanked him by blocking his number, blocking him on social media and blocking him on only fans, the site that he was paying for. Right. And then she straight up went and sold his truck. For what?

Exactly. Gruel? Who would you get for that? A trough full of gruel. She used a forged bill of sale to do it, Carl. Now, police eventually recovered the Silverado. And she was facing fraud and theft charges. And we'll get back to that a little bit later.

This wasn't an isolated incident. All right. You probably don't know the answer to this, but did she have cassettes that she could play in the cassette player? Probably, yes. Okay, good. A lot of, uh, she's a Garth Brooks gal. Oh, okay, good, yeah. So, Shania Twain from 95.

Absolutely. Man, I feel like a woman. He's how I talk. Look like a dude, feel like a woman. If you're a kid, don't get on here, okay? Oh, man. I shouldn't do Lisa for this dummy. voice.

Miss you, Lisa. Another Mississippi man had already accused Sierra of stealing his vehicle in early 2021. So apparently Sierra's only fan's wish list car wasn't lingerie and ringlights. It was just people's trucks. She also had a boyfriend during this time in 2020. Her boyfriend, Gideon Haig, said Sierra took thousands of dollars that was supposed to buy Christmas presents for his children and other family members. Two days before Christmas, she told him, yeah, I ordered everything.

And everything's delayed, though, because. because of COVID. Amazon! Neither of the presents nor the money ever appeared. And she stole all of this family's Christmas. Aw. Yeah. She's like a grinch.

She's a big fat, piggy grinch. Except for her heart can't grow any fat larger. Oh, God. We open shrinks, actually. You know, Carl. Yes. Here's one of the worst things she lied about. Back in 2019, she met a friend named Shelby Taylor at a bar called Eight Seconds.

Sierra told Taylor that she was an ER nurse. Then after a trip to Tennessee, Sierra called her and told her devastating news, I have ovarian cancer. Oh, no. Yeah. Her friends rallied around her. They drove up from Florida to Tennessee to help take care of her during her treatments. She has very end cancer?

Ovarian. Oh, ovarian. Got it. Yeah. Ovarian. I believe it's bovine cancer. That's what she has. One friend started becoming suspicious because they're,

would ask her about her cancer diagnosis and she couldn't use basic cancer terminology. Oh, yeah, that's a problem. Then in December of 2020, around the same time that she was stealing a family's Christmas presents, paramedics were called to the house while gathering Sierra's belongings, her friend Taylor, reportedly found another friend's stolen driver's license in Sierra's bag. She also found a bunch of hospital paperwork. And according to that paperwork, she had no cancer diagnosis. That time that she'd went to the hospital and told everybody she was dying.

of cancer. She just made it all up. Well, she is a cancer. Yes. On society. And then here's the other thing she was lying about. They thought she was a 23-year-old ER nurse. Turns out she was lying about her age.

She was only 19. But she wasn't an ER nurse. No. Oh, no, no. She's just a liar. Now, we're not even to the creepy part yet, Carl. Let's get to it. She's wanted right now for stealing that guy's truck.

We're fast forwarding to 2022. There's been a warrant out for arrest. they haven't found her. But she's still meeting dudes on OnlyFans. So enter this fella. This is 24-year-old Carson Sistrunk from Mississippi. His friends called him Little Man. That dude doesn't like women.

He sure does. Really? Carson and Sierra met on Only fans. And she directed him over to Snapchat. Come out over here and chat with me on Snapchat. I like you. You're cute. Yeah, he's...

They didn't know each other very long. Actually, he could be your stunt double. Holy shit. Long lost brother. Holy shit. Next time you can't make it on the creep off. Or you're going to do a consequence, like jump off a bridge. We'll get him.

Oh, no. That's good. Oh, next time you get to walk into the lake in the wintertime. No, actually what I'll do is do it again. Just bring a real camera person with me that time. I failed that time. You know, people still on the internet are trying to decide if I faked that or not. I know, which is very funny.

Will you tell the truth now? I don't know. I didn't see it. I didn't see you going fucking cock, sorry. Okay. You looked wet afterwards, but you could have just peed yourself. I don't know. I would have been warmer had I peed myself.

That's why you did it. So they decided to meet their chatting on Snapchat. They didn't know each other very long. Over Labor Day weekend, the two arranged to meet in the new Hebron area of Mississippi. Carson drove his brand new Silver Ford Raptor with a super cool scoop hood. Nice. Yeah. After that weekend, though, Carson stopped responding.

to his family. Also, she didn't show up to work the following Tuesday. And his mother, Darlene, was very upset in contact to the police. She was able to check a debit card account. She shared with Carson, which makes him kind of a loser that he's sharing a debit account with his mom. What a sim. And discovered that his last transaction had been made at a convenience store 50 miles south in Hebron. Police began looking for Carson and his truck. And they found the truck before they found Carson Carl. Let me guess. Little Debbie Snacks was the charge on that debit card. Might as well call her Big Debbie. Yep.

Deputies located the Raptor at the same new Hebron convenience store. And guess who was there buying snacks? I'm guessing that oinker. Sierra. In fact, here's her mug shot from this arrest. She has her hair down in that one. She was there and she was with his car keys and his truck. So she claims when the cops say, why do you have this truck?

Her mouth is shaped like St. Louis. Holy shit. It's a size of St. Louis. It's a perfect arc right there. Wow. The name of this episode, The Pig That Ain't St. Louis. It's misleading, but I like it. She said she recently purchased the Raptor, the truck, from another local man who she couldn't remember their name.

She also claimed on the night that Carson disappeared. She had been partying with a group of friends. Her alibi held up for about five seconds on account of her not having any friends. Carson's truck got towed as part of the investigation. That's when they noticed all the blood on the bottom of the tailgate. There were additional traces of blood in the truck bed underneath the truck and on the rear windshield. Investigators believe portions of the truck appeared to have been washed. But she had a good explanation for this.

Where did all this blood come from, Piggy? She said, I hit a deer. How come there's no damage on the truck if you hit a deer? I mean, I had my period. See, that I would have believed. All over the truck. Yep. they also recovered bags containing clothing from the truck that found evidence of blood splatter.

So this lazy pig couldn't even do the laundry with the victim's blood all over her clothes. So within literally an hour of them finding her in the truck, somebody from an Oriole field found the body out in the fields. And he was shot, that kid Carson was shot three times with a nine millimeter handgun. investigators say the trajectory of the bullets traveled upward, leading them to conclude that Carson was most likely sitting on the tailgate of his truck when he was shot. So what they believe is she tricked this dude into thinking he was about to get a blowy. Yeah. And then she just shot him. Honestly, if you're going to kill me, I want my last moments to think that something good is about to happen.

So that's kind of cool. Or a blowjob from her? Okay, never mind. not yeah honestly I think I would have picked the bullets yeah he got the the better choice there fun fact they were trying to figure out

what the motive could be for this little did they know that it was probably just to have another truck she was on social media telling everybody she was getting a brand new truck for her birthday the thing I hate about social media is are the braggadocious assholes

I have to tell you how great their life is it's not your life's not great you're bragging about on Facebook. Shut up. So she gets indicted for murder, Carl, and she did something that nobody thought she was going to do. She walked in and said, yeah, I did it. She just confessed.

Cool. So she will, well, the bad news, all of her subscribers will be waiting at least 35 years for new content. Yeah. You really have to plead not guilty and see what kind of deal they give you, dummy. Nope. She just walked in and said, I did it. That's really stupid.

I have no truck now. That is not smart. So good news, guys. She'll be out of prison in 2059. Nobody cares. She stole Christmas. She stole trucks. She's a real piece of shit this broad.

Ladies and gentlemen, when you go to patreon.com this week, have some mercy for Christ's sake on your palvenny. And vote for me, would you? You could have won by just showing her picture and say, this woman's out only fans. But great presentation. Listen, as the man at arms of the International Brotherhood of Weightwax, watchers. There is only one correct answer for who is the worst person on OnlyFans. And it's a fat pig.

Listen, if you want me to send you videos of my creep peeing on a toaster, vote for Carl. Oh, do you have those? If you vote for me. If you vote for me. I did a lot of research today, Benny. I was a research of the hell out of the interwebs. Oh, boy. This morning.

You Googled hard. Googling real hard over here. All right, buddy. Let's check in real fast. You got a couple super chats real fast. Carl's best in months, buddy. Richard Lucas, good to see you. Joseph Collins, thanks to 99.

Carl, you had an only fans. You're not mentioned. Well, that's right. I forgot about that. That was one of the original consequences, right? Yeah, and all you did was put pictures of me up on it. Is that what I did? I can't remember.

You did. It probably still exists. I never, like, shut it down or anything. You don't have anything of supertip. Dot.G. slash creep? Not at the moment. No people using our supertip system.

That's insane. I agree. That's insane. Now, folks, I think it's time for one of our favorite segments. Yes. I can't wait to see calls Cop Cam. Fight with the cops for no reason. Will you please show me?

Cause Cop Cam. Lose all your rights. Ruin your life. A cop cam today comes in from Bonar Guy. I was cutting one up this morning from Alex. That was awesome. This guy broke into a construction site. And he's still.

stole this, this huge machinery, this huge vehicle, and he was running over cop cars and driving at cops. Like, Kildozer? Yeah, like Kildozer. But then the cops started shooting at him and I went, I don't think I can show this on YouTube. God damn it. It's amazing how these videos end up on YouTube,

but then if we show them, we end up in trouble. You can't show it live, I guess, whatever, whatever the rules are. So instead, let's pull over some Gen Zers who have expired registration. Oh, God. Number one. How long does it take before they asked to call their mom five seconds? A mom does show up, yes. Okay.

Every that's soft use, your thumb tag's been expired since September of 2022. Oh, my. That's the validator for the car? I haven't got it switched over yet. Okay. Sir, do you have your license on you? So you do have a license, but you don't have it on you? Okay.

And you own the car, ma'am? Okay. Can I have your ID, please? I don't have my ID. Oh, fast. Stand by, so okay. I think it doesn't have a little bit. You got your notepet on him?

You got a notepet on you? What does he want? Use the bathroom? I need to hang out here, okay? Hang out here for me, okay? Oh, I know what that's about. You know what that's about? Somebody's got something he wants to ditch in the bathroom before he gets searched.

Yeah, and he also might want to climb out a window and get away. Mm-hmm. Because as we're about to find in this next clip, they, you know, run a quick report on his name and find out what's doing. This other police officer named Hunter is an idiot. Biden? Yeah, check this out. Hey, Hunter.

Stand by, 32 Fox Tratt. I don't know. Stay with him. Stay with him. 32 Fox Tratt. Yeah, I need him. 32 Fox Trot. Just watch him.

Okay, so 32 Fox Trot means felony Warren. warranty warrant. This is like the Simpsons where Chief Wiggins was just like, can you just say the thing? I don't know what that means. Come on, Lou. Get to the point. Right. It's like, 32, Fox Trot, Chief, felony warrant chief. Come on. Hike. Very funny. So this cop just like, huh? What? Foxtrot? What's going on? The cop was looking at his cell phone. Was he, like, texting someone? He's an idiot. He's an idiot. So anyway, they're like, okay, this guy's got a felony warrant out for him. Let's get him out of the car. And this guy's got a great plan. I'm step out of the car for me, please.

For what? You have a suspended license. I have a suspended license. Yes, sir. Step out the car for me, please. For what? Step out the car for me, bro. All right, man, I'm taking it.

Bro, I have a broke finger. Look, I just have my x-rays and everything, bro. Oh, dude. He thought he was going to run away. See, you know, he was a flight rescue. He ended by the arm. Yeah. You're beat my ass.

They beat in my ass. They beat in my ass. You don't get me. No, they beat in my ass. Jerry Banfield's having a bad night. Jerry Banfield's having a bad night. Joe up until then you record. Steve, I got to rush me over and says,

Steven and license, bro. Okay. There it is. There it is. The taser. I'm sorry. Oh, David, too. I have a bite for bird to brain.

Is it broken back too? Why is he running? He's got a broken finger, broken back. How far do you think he was going to get with this? You're not running around with a broken vertebrae, bro. No, he's not. He's definitely not. Wow, I love this one.

Okay. This is good so far. Three clips in? It's phenomenal. It's action-packed. And what I love about this is these fucking idiots who are like, why are you tasing me over a suspended license? Like, we're trying to arrest me over. Yeah, we're just going to put you in cops and put you the back.

in the car, then you tried to run, and now you're fighting us. Now you're literally resisting arrest. And so now we have to tase you on top of that. And the dumb idiot with her phone out recording this, the girlfriend, just like, oh, you guys going to get in trouble. You're fucking, are you guys, are you new? These people do. I guess they are.

They're young. They're not smart. They're not smart. This goes out for a little while. When he asked for her license, he showed her a license plate. Oh, she's plates. So I'm going to go and she's not smart. This is my license?

It's a now. when he played from a gift shop? This was back in time. I don't think they're listening, honey, yell it more. He's not putting his hands behind his back. That's all they want him to do. I'm a tasey. Just to.

Where's this fucking cop coming from? We need three cops on this guy. Yes. More Tate. Tators wasn't neutralized. This guy's got a lot of energy. He does. He keeps resisting.

He's yelling over suspended license? It's like, dude, stop resisting. Stop fighting the police. You should never be in the situation with the police. You will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever really win. This ain't going to go the way you think it's going to go, Nicol. All right. So my clip number five, finally they get him in the cop car, but it is not easy.

Oh, no. I'm pulling it away. by pulling it away. Now we're at four cops, by the way, everybody. Everybody. Four cops. You're only getting cuffs and shove them in this car. See, these wiry fuckers are the problems.

Yep. Shut off. It's like retard strength, you know? You got to be careful of these kids. Wow. What do we learn here today, kids? We learned that methamphetamine's a hell of a drug. Sir.

Well, he already do that, Carl. All right, so she keeps yelling at these cops. Are you ready to do your ad read for math? Yeah, I have the copy right here in front of me. Good. So she keeps yelling at these cops And they keep telling her Ma'am, get back in your vehicle

Ma'am, get back in your vehicle We will arrest you, ma'am, we will arrest you. Ma'am, go home and finish your shower Oh, I know, she got the shower cap on Good look. Oh, no. They keep telling her to get back in the vehicle And she keeps screaming at them nonstop. So they say, we can arrest you.

She's not understanding that. You can't arrest me, freedom of speech, she's yelling all that kind of shit. So anyway, Cipsics, it's her turn. You're going to get back in the car. That's good reason. Faring with an investigation.

Am I going to jail too? I got a baby in the back too. So if they want to go to jail, my daughter's right here. Next time I tell you, go to jail. My daughter's right here. That's enough. My daughter is right there.

Give you a million chances. Yeah, it's almost like you're a really shitty mom or something. Screaming at the police. You got your, uh, felon boyfriend, baby daddy, driving you around. Well, the good news is at least she knows her rights. She doesn't. Oh, she doesn't.

That's why she's now in handcuffs and getting arrested. Okay, so I like that these police officers, I've had enough with this fucking asshole that they had to wrestle for 17 minutes. And my clip number seven is just some tough love. I'm going to get my lip back. Hey, Stone! Go on. I want to go, jerk off.

Over a suspended license, bro. Over your felony warrant, bro. Over, you run it. Over you're trying to grab a phasing taser. I was trying to push it off my back. I wasn't trying to grab it. Over now, now you got like four family charges. I'm gonna get my lip back.

Who hit me in the face? Y'all made enough to hit me in the face. Take credit for it. I did hit you in the face, you fucking idiot. I like to be called him a jerk off. Way to go jerk off. That's one that we don't use enough anymore. Yep.

especially in that scenario, like, it's heated. And that kind of like settles things down a little bit. All right, Jerk off. You're like, oh, God, he's being silly. That's fun. Yeah, I like that. I like that cop. Well, that's that that's not Hunter, right?

That's the other cop. That's not Hunter. That's the one who actually knows where the fucking Fox Trot 32 is. I was going to say, hey, I didn't think Hunter was that cool. All right. So this guy's a fucking retard. So he's a white guy and he's got that black girlfriend who's cool. And so he's made a decision about why.

why she got arrested. Two and I got up. Please don't and me. You're going to take your racist amount of my baby mama. Shut up, you fucking clown. I love this guy. I called him a jerk off and a clown. Oh, so you guys are racist?

Fuck yeah. That's why you arrested my girlfriend. I'm not even entertaining that, you idiots. Shut the fuck up, you clown. It's something that's not uttered enough. It's great. Okay. So the girl's getting arrested.

And so someone's going to go pick up this kid that's in the backseat of the car. So her mom gets called to the scene. her mom is in the middle of a shift at subway. Oh, did she bring food for everyone? No, but cookies. Did she bring those cookies? She asked Chad Zubak to cover for her. Okay.

Who also has a job there now. So wait a second. Chad Zubach works at Subway now? He should. He should work in Subway instead of doing his grifting, go-fund me shit. Anyway, I don't know why the dabbler's gets brought up from time with time on the show. I don't know why. Anyway, so the girl's mom comes, and she has no nonsense.

I love this mom. Here comes lecture time. Oh, nice. Listen, listen to what he tells. Watching the video back, they were screaming at the cops. And I was black, and then they told me to go stand in my car. And that's where I was, at my car.

I was standing at my car. And that's where he got me from. My car. That's what's wrong with him. They taking him to jail. But the thing is he was. They were no traffic stop. You made your own stuff.

In this bullshit. He said, stand in my car. I stand in my car. Fuck you. Screaming the highway. The way you were, you were fucking doing this thing. The offense was committed when you told my business off.

I can rush you at any point during that time. If you think it's a good idea to tell me to fall, you're going to realize what we're going to do with that. We're not claiming it. This is a no-blue strong-forcement style. Do you see how her Demeter changed when her mom shows up? I was just doing what they said, mom. They told me to go by my car.

I was standing by my car. It's a fucking principal's office all over again for this one, isn't it? Spoiler. Her mom, the grandmother here. not thrilled with her choice of baby daddy. He is a problem. And we'll get the charges here in our last clip. That jerk off, really?

Yeah, they clown. Yeah. I don't know how to get you out, but you have to get out and get your child because my child is 14. And I have to work, and I have to work, and I have to work. I'm on the clock right now here trying to get her. While the female was charged with resisting, obstructing, the male suspect, Garrett, was charged with two counts of felony battery on a law enforcement officer. Two counts of felony battery with a prior conviction, felony resisting with violence, felony

attempting to deprive an officer of means or protection, knowingly driving with a suspended license and operating an unregistered motor vehicle. They are both presumed innocent and less proven guilty in a court of law. We looked into Garrett's felony warrant that caused officers to take him into custody in the first place. It was for battery for a prior conviction, battery sudden snatching, felony tampering with a witness and false imprisonment. We also looked into his criminal background and found that he's been involved in domestic

violence situations with his girlfriend seen in the body cam footage. So this fucking woman's going to bat for a guy who beats her up and he's a piece of shit. And that's my cop cam this week. Thanks, uh, Bonner guy, for sending that in. So this is a motherfucker who's running up and grabbing people's purses. Is that what they said? Yeah. What a fucking asshole.

All right. Good stuff, Carl. Listen, there's one message we have on this program. Drugs are bad. You shouldn't do drugs. Or at least take them responsibly, you know? I don't think that was the message. I thought this was it.

Carl says, Paul does not manufacture, distribute, or understand methamphetamine. He just likes it an uncomfortable amount. That's true. I don't understand it. I don't manufacture it. That's definitely true. Yeah, I mean, there's nothing that's a lie of that song, folks.

Yeah, no, all of that is very true. But take meth responsibly. If you can't handle it, if you like to fly off the handle and fight with cops and stuff, it's not for you. Hey, folks, if you're out there having a good time and join the show today, I just want to remind you, have a safe time with meth. Yeah, if you're an even-keeled guy like me, the only time I ever get upset on the internet is when I'm yelling at Vinny. Have you watched any other thing that I'm on? Maybe I yell at let me a little bit, Vinny.

That's about it. You're so a co-be. You're such a calm, even-keled guy. Right. That's when you know that math is right for you. If you're high-strung, you don't need it. Get the fuck out of your car. Are you ready for-

Is this a wrong message? It's not great. It's like great. But you know what I'm ready for, Carl? I'm ready for the scum parade. Are you ready? Let's go. It's time for us.

So we're going to start off in Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin, Carl. What's going on there? I want to introduce you to this lovely gal. Is she an only fan's model? Well, if my girl is an only fan's model, this broad's got a shot. That's what I mean. Yeah. This is Emily Fair, Carl.

You got to guess? Guess the age? 84. 36. Jesus Christ. She's not at 35. 36. Hayden Petteteer just died.

She was 36. You see that? She is one of the... Hayden Petteteer is what a 36-year-old should look like, and she was a cracket. She's all dead. You know, she just wrote a book three months ago? No, I didn't know that. She put out her memoirs three months ago.

Oh, that'd be interesting, I bet. Well, she claims that a famous British rocker had sex with her when she was 17. McJagger. She was dragged down to his room and left there with him. is what she claims in her book. So I'm going to look into that. I want to look into that too. Hopefully she details.

Yeah, yeah. What's sexy details? She, she walked into her room and she had to fish a gerbil out of Rod Stewart's ass. Dude. You're mixing up your, a germ on a Rod Stewart's asshole. That's very funny.

That's very funny. I don't know. The comes in Rod Stewart's stomach, the gerbils. Anyway. Oh, man. We should just do an episode about old British rockers, because there are some fucking certain... I was just a Hayden Peditere.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She was really attractive. Let's just go look at pictures of her. Rust in peace. God damn, she was the cheerleader on that show. Yeah. Okay. So this...

I'm sure I never watched, but I'm acutely aware of. Authorities say that Emily here stole a fire department pickup truck turned on its emergency lights and drove off. Okay. When authorities finally tracked her down, they found something else they weren't expecting. Here's some of the video. Let's see.

Are you a firefighter? Yeah. Okay, are you supposed to be driving this truck? Yeah. As police questioned the suspicious driver, the officer discovers the woman isn't dressed for the occasion or at all. Why are you naked right now? I'm supposed to be beautiful. The naked woman now identified as 36-year-old Emily Fair, charged with operating a motor vehicle without owner's consent.

Court docs say the bizarre case started just before 1 a.m. early Tuesday. So my favorite part about that answer is, I'm supposed to be meeting someone, duh. Yeah. That is a good first date on Hinge right there. It was to meet up at 1 a.m. naked. Yeah. Listen, I'm going to have to steal a car. But you know what?

I'm going to be late, so I'll make sure it's a fire truck and I'll put on the sirens. Well, it's a ridiculous question. Are you a firewinner? Yeah, I am. Why are you naked? Because I don't have a fucking fire hose. If I got to put a fire out, I'm going to have tied to pull my pants off. My clothes were burned off of me at my last call.

I can be honest, when you set this article out, I didn't know what she looked like when I first started reading it. And I was like, oh, I might like this girl better than Nicolette. Keough. But now that I saw that, I was like, nah, never mind. 36, you say. So she put in a bunch of strange calls to the dispatchers. Here we go. Here's strange calls on the radio.

Brennan, do you read me? You got food in there? It would take off. All right. I have a theory on this. Alcohol is bad. You shouldn't drink alcohol. Yeah. I think it's a pretty good theory. Yeah. Pretty safe. I like how she sounded kind of like Wendy the retard. Yes. You got food there? Officers later found her dress in the bed of the truck before taking her to get checked out and taking her into custody. She is scheduled for a competency hearing later this month.

By the way, if you're trying to plead crazy, it's a pretty good way to do it. Nailed it. Yeah. I want you to introduce you to this fellow, Carl. This is Christopher Lochner. He's 52 years old. And he stands accused of one count, each of abandoning or concealing a dead body, burglary, trafficking, stolen property, unlawful use, means of transportation and possession of a weapon by a prohibited person. I'm going to slap on the wrist. That's fine. Well, this all started earlier this month with the death of 55-year-old woman named Cindy Miller. The woman and the defendant were hanging out together the night before.

And Miller died during the early morning hours after the pair used a shit ton of drugs together. The man allegedly told investigators that he tried in vain to revive Miller after she became unresponsive. So what he decided to do was going to self-preservation mode. So he dressed her, put her body in the passenger seat of her own Mercedes, left the hotel they were at weekend of Bernie style. Right to the carpool lane. Drove to the woman's home at Gilbert, then carried her inside, leaving her a bed, tucked in with a comfort or placed over her body. But all is said and good if you just want to not be involved in the situation. you're going to get caught because they're going to find out shoes at a hotel.

It's all going to get traced. It is? Or the cops are going to be lazy and find the body. What is the right strategy if you OD with someone in the hotel room? Leave. Disappear. That's what I've done in the past. Right.

And here we are doing a show together and you're not in jail. Wiping fingerprints off counters and remote controls and I'm out of there. Loads off of faces and I'm out. Yep. So he didn't just take the car. he took her diamond rings, her diamond necklace to a pawn shop, got on video. One nearby, I would assume, right? Yep, yep, smart.

Yep. The defendant also allegedly used Miller's cell phone to send text messages to several of the woman's contacts, so not to arouse suspicion. Hey, I'm doing great. I'm definitely not with Christopher Lochner. Just so everybody knows, I'm definitely not with Christopher Lockner. I'm binging the hawk all weekend, so I won't be texting with you guys. I'm like, no one's binging the hawk, you fucking liar. Maybe this guy was.

This guy looks like he would be... I like Will Ferrell. I think Will Ferrell's footy. My shit is my favorite. Is she in that too? She is. Did you watch any of it? No.

I've heard it's terrible. It looks like utter dog shit. I can remember the last thing I liked Will Ferrell in. But I do know this. Will Ferrell did his Anchorman character for a podcast. And I didn't make fun of it enough. I should have made fun of it way more. It's terrible.

You know, Will Ferrell is one of those guys who I feel like hit the wall. Yeah. We've seen everything he's got to give. Like, like Jim Carrey. Like one day you're just like, you're not fire marshal bill anymore. You can't do it anymore. It's over.

Just go act seriously. Please, just go act seriously. Maybe there's some life in that for you. Maybe. But, oh, God. God, it makes me sad about it. I think Phil Hartman would have been crushing it in podcasting and it pisses me off. Andy Dick, one of the asshole.

Oh, man. I wish Andy Dick had a podcast. That would be fun. That would be good. That would be very drunk. That would be helpful for me. Hey, I'm in a dumpster behind the home deep. I live here now.

Fuck you. I think he's still sober, right? I haven't heard from Andy Dick in a while. Who knows? Oh, man. So either way, her family members haven't heard from her for several days, found her dead in her house. And I guess they were a little suspicious because, like, those text messages.

Yeah. Like, hey, I see her tits. Mom. This guys have a little fun on his way out. In August Love, the detectives tried to contact Lochner at an apartment in Phoenix. The man allegedly gave Chase before he was caught. At the time, he was the arrest of the defendant denied. having anything to do with Miller's death.

At the time she died, Lachner was on pretrial release in relation to an offense involving Miller from earlier this year. Under the terms of his release, they were not supposed to have any contact with each other at all. A handgun, which also allegedly Blonde Miller was found in his possession, and not great. So aside from mentioning a hotel,

law enforcement did not otherwise say whether Miller is alleged to have died. So we don't know where it happened. she just died in a hotel and this guy stole all of her shit. I think he's going to get in trouble for this. You're my guess. Yeah. This, speaking of kids were going to get in trouble.

This is Arjun Arrvind and he's in a lot of trouble. He's 17 years old. And the cops were involved in an overnight manhunt that ended up early last Wednesday. He killed his 45-year-old mother, Suduka, Venestakistan. Have you ever been to that country? No.

And you place it on a map? The trick to reading words like this is think of it as like a country and say it with confidence. I like that you did that. That was funny. 14-year-old Sybarth Arvavind, middle sex district attorney, Miriam Ryan said just after 6.30 p.m. Tuesday, a tutor arrived at the family home. She could not get into the home so she contacted Arjohn's father. He tried and failed to reach his family. So we contacted the police department and asked them to do a well-being check.

When the officers arrived, they found the bodies of the mother and the son. in the basement. While the mother was found in the basement, the son was found on the first floor of the home, and Arjohn here was missing. So was the Honda Accord that belonged to the mom. Oh, so we probably killed the two people and then left? Yeah.

I'm not even a detective, very. I just pieced that all together in my head. Yeah. Pretty impressive, right? He's been exhibiting concerning behavior, apart from killing his brother and his mother. What was you doing before that? Internet searches using chat GPT to create theoretical ideas

of fantasy stories regarding the killing of, his family. Dude, I can't get AI to do shit. I told you the story about how I wanted the details of how my creep took out all of his victims. And AI's like, I can't. I mean, this is a historical fact. And AI is like, no, I'm not going to tell you how he murdered the victims in this crime.

We don't do that kind of thing. And I'm like, what about these people who are fantasizing about murdering their mom and shit? They're like getting responses? He was using the prompt Gothic novel kind of stories. Oh, I'm not being creative enough. Create, correct. You have to trick the AI into being evil for you.

That makes sense. Dude, speaking of AI, owning your life and running you, I haven't watched the whole video yet. Pat Dixon said it to me this morning. Jerry Banfield just dropped another banger where it says, the title is WTP offered me $500 for my video. And I was like, sweet. All right. Finally, we're going to get this video that he sent to the queen. Let me guess.

He showed it to chat, GPT, chat. Chapby, GPT said, don't give it to him, you stupid idiot. Yes. He asked Chad GPT if he should sell the video for 500 bucks. And J.F. GPT was like, nah, you don't need 500 bucks that bad? No, he does. I know that.

I'm not AI. I'm just I. So, yeah, no, I'm very annoyed people who let AI control their lives. It's working for Joey C. But everyone else is not working for. What you should do is send him an email and say, hey, I know you don't want this five. $500 now because you're under the impression that you don't need it. But every month that you say no to this offer will be $100 less that I'm giving you.

That's a good idea. Dude, I wasn't, so I haven't watched the video yet. But that's what Pat told me. You gave me a spoiler on it. But I was going through the comments under this video. There's lots of comments. And there's assholes in there going, you can get a thousand, Jerry. Negotiate.

I'm like, fuck you, man. Don't tell him that. Could you get a thousand? No. No. Could he get 600? I offered 500. That's my final offer.

Could he get 600? It might be 400. See, that's how you do it, Carl. Good job. That's how coached you up. Either way, this kid got busted the next day. They caught him. He's a piece of shit.

Fuck him. Real quick, in the chat, I saw when you started that video, Grand Cleggle, now it is near the bottom there. Scroll down. Oh, my gosh. No, it's not that one. Oh, there it is. Does everyone see Lady Kay's Morning Show appearance?

That's Grand Clegglegg. legal right above is that aunt's brother. Yeah. And I, since I saw that. So my band was on the news program on our local news station on Friday morning. And Vidi told me when I showed up today, we'll be watching that on our bonus show this Friday. And I've not watched it back. I can't watch it back.

Carl, you are going to be so upset with your. I'm not looking forward to this. I haven't just to sit there. It seems so good. First off, I'm not a boarding person. There's a thing, guys. It's going to be so good. I don't get up early in the morning and go to TV stations and I'm not camera ready at that time.

Anyway, dude. It's on the isotopes. Well, our performance is on the isotopes YouTube channel. It's out there. The interview's out there. I didn't interview with them. So fun fact. And I tried to give you some advice on this before because I was telling you about who we're going to be interviewing you.

And you're like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da. The guy who was interviewing you, Carl, Dan Shrek. Yeah. Would you like to know why you should know who Dan Shrek is apart from being a morning newsacre in Rochester? Please explain this. Dan Shrack was one of the bait boys on to catch a predator. I can see that.

Producer Chris and I were joking in the green room about how we wanted to just pick him up and start tossing him around. Yep. He's such a tiny little guy. You weren't the only adult male who wanted to pick him up and toss him around. He was the decoy when the guy killed himself, Carl. Oh, is that who he is? Yes. What a claim to fame that is.

Right. And that makes to make small talk with losers. I called him out of it too. Well, I love that. I love the way you handled some of this. But there was one part of this interview where the woman who is doing the interview looks so unbelievably uncomfortable with you in particular. Oh, yeah.

Oh, I can't wait to watch it with you. By the way, everyone else in the band had microphones and they only talked to me. So this was something compelling. They didn't, though. Lucy was holding the microphone and like going like that to everybody. No, but you know what I mean, though. There were other microphones. They can handle this microphones so that other people could talk.

You don't only want to talk to me because I am box office, as Aaron Imboldt would say. Really? I thought it was because you're an attention whore. But, you know, that too. Who was going to talk, Croz? Croz was going to say something. Indeed. Good point.

Good point. Everyone will look absolutely mortified when they asked for their names. Lucy, I know. Lucy's in the chat. One of the go-go-dancers' moms asked if Carl truly hates women. Yes, this is true. We had a show the next day, and we got brunch before our show. And, yeah, one of our Gogodians is like, my mom thinks you hate women.

I was like, eh. I don't love them. Which women? Point to which ones. Oh, man. You know, it's, you know. Maybe I shouldn't be on television. Maybe I should stick to YouTube.

This is my home. It feels good over here. It feels right, doesn't it? Maybe rumble. Maybe I should be on rumble. No, don't do that to yourself. Don't ever do it. Kick. Maybe I'm a kick guy.

Nope. Nope. I think you found your spot. Thanks, buddy. I want you to stay and ride it out on YouTube until it becomes the boomer platform and just completely falls apart. And then we'll switch to Facebook. There it is. Back to Facebook, everybody. All right.

Let's talk about this fella. This is Mark Kelly. And, oh, boy, oh, boy, is he in trouble. Okay. Mark Kelly is a 66-year-old man, and he has been sentenced to life in prison after being convicted of gross sexual imposition last month. Oh, wait, hold on a second. I think I have a drop for that, actually.

That's gross. Certainly is. In October of last year, I'm sorry, of 2024, a four-year-old boy who attended a home daycare center run by Mara Kelly's wife, disclosed to his grandmother that Kelly had ard him. Flip-flopped him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The boy reportedly told his grandmother it was a secret and he was not supposed to tell anyone.

That is a secret. You're not supposed to tell anyone. That is true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll both get trouble. The child's story made consistent during a forensic interview a week after he first disclosed the assault. In addition, he positively identified Kelly as the person who assaulted him. During his initial interview with police, Kelly admitted that the boy had been inside his bedroom, but claimed the accusations were motivated by animosity from the child's grandmother,

who had previously been Kelly's boss. She's a liar. She was always telling lies on me. It's fucking Uncle Paul, this guy Oh, that old guy over there. Uncle Paul, Uncle Paul. And then he, in addition, blamed the child's mother for the accusations and said the child was angry and hates everyone. Yep.

He's an angry kid. He's always making up lies on me. Listen, if there's one thing that we love on this show, it's victim blaming. So I like that maneuver. Get out in front of it. Get on the offensive. Smart. Hold on.

Actually, I like this show up. Oh shit. Never mind. That's not a victim-blaming song. I mislabel, though. Victim. I was looking for this. Blame me.

No one sign that someone murdered me. Either way, you're dead. This guy's going to jail forever, and he's 66, so he's pretty toast. I'm sure he'll make a lot of friends, though. No. No. Two-day trial. They don't like people like him?

Two-day trial was all it took. He got off the stand. It was just like, his grandmother's a whore. Apparently that didn't play with the jury. Yeah. Oh, boy. Well, Carl, we're almost to the end of the show, but it is very important that we take care of a little business before we get out of here. And that is time for our voicemail segment.

Okay. We got to do our super chats and everything, too. Of course. Supertip.com. Of course. Creep off voicemail segment is brought you by Sandy and Sarah News. but with the University of Syracuse, the only university willing to give a law degree to anyone who makes a Lindsay Glancy TikTok. See you in Syracuse.

I saw that the housing market, home values, are the highest in the nation in both Rochester and Syracuse. Did you see that? No. I think people send me information about my home in Cape Coral and how much value. It's a loss since I purchased it. And then they're like, but Rochester's doing well. But yeah, my house of Rochester is doing very well. But I can't leave Syracuse is also on that list.

What the fuck's going on there besides the shitty basketball team? I don't know, Carl. I'm not comfortable with any of it. I got first voicemail coming in. It's our old pal podcast prophet. Boy, podcast profit here. Holy Spirit is beating through me. Last week, me and my lady were in bed.

And she said to me, I really want to role play. and I said, huh, all right. Let's pretend that jellyfish just stung you on the face. Any huddles. I get it. Oh, fuck, dude.

You really that big a pussy? That was that your new name? Pussy Polino. Sorry. Fuck. Because in my life, I've killed at least three bats with a bat. Most recently it was like a year or two ago

in my current apartment. And I woke up to my cat just saying, parent asked to my apartment. And I fucking took my Louisville flugger, which I keep Sting reference. Anytime.

I fucking whacked that motherfucker against the wall. And he crawled over into the corner and I finished the fucking job. And then my mom's women, who fucking needs them. She goes, I didn't even throw a towel at it.

take it outside. And I'm like, so I can come fucking back in? No, that's not happening. You're in my domain. You die. Any hoodles, thank you, fuck you, bye. That's fascinating. Please go on.

I learned something this week. What's that? If a bat ever comes into your house, there's something you can do to get them out quickly. Oh. What you do is you get a can of a keyboard duster, you know, that, p, p, p, pst. I have that stuff, yep.

Yeah. If you blast a bat with keyboard duster, I don't know if you know this, but it sucks the oxygen out of the area. Sure. And you could actually set off fire alarms with keyboard duster. Is that true? Yeah. So if you spray that at a bat, it fucks up all their sonar and they fall out of the sky.

Can you please another bad at your house? I want to try this out. Yeah, you spray it and the fucker falls. I want to throw something over it and then you take it outside and fucking get it out of your house. When do you bash it with the baseball bat? I don't. I'm not a fucking mom. And I'm not cleaning up that mess.

You want to have bat guts all over your house? Fucking Ozzy. No, you just said take it outside. You take it outside and then bash it with a baseball bat. I mean, they're fucking flying mice. Do we really need more of these things around? That's a good point. All right.

Suggestion for a category. Hey, boys. Creepiest Jew. When's it going to happen? I call Shuley. Damn it. I guess the voicemails over here. All right, go ahead.

Hello, Carl I'm listening to your cop cam On the creep-off this Monday And I'll be damned If that woman does not remind me Precisely of my stepdaughter And I cringe at this kid I cringe at this kid every day

And I hesitate to even ask you to play this Because sometimes I listen to the show With her mother around But her mom is really hot And she's really fucking cool But this kid is fucking dick I get it And this kid still reminds me of that absolutely insane breath in that cop cam,

screaming about mental illness and calling mommy and everything is somebody else's problem. And oh, my God, this has triggered me, Carl. It triggered me. Thank you, fucking bye. Thank you. Hey, this message is for Vinny and the creep off. Hey, man, good job. Going to get those rabies shots.

That sucks. But, yeah, a little fun fact. It's my wife, who's a physician's worst nightmare to get rabies because, if you get them don't know at the mortality rate once you have that is 100%. Well, yeah, good job, Benny. All right. Thanks. Anyway, quit fucking route back.

Because that means you'll die. I just want to say shout out to the Kreve for being the last place on the internet where you're able to hear Sean the audio engineer. Thank you. That is true. The juxtaposition between Yowschwitz and Auschwitz is one of the most brilliant comedic statements ever said. Bravo Vinnie.

You're a fucking genius. I can't say it's mine. I feel like I heard it somewhere. My computer just died. That's why I played those rapid fire. My computer's like, all right, that's enough. Yes, I am a genius, but for remembering,

I feel like, I don't know. I got one more here, Carl. Actually, I got two more. Wheel of Consequences next week, I will be spinning. So make sure you send your consequences. Two consequence ideas that creep off. Whatever the fuck, Mahalia, yeah.

I can't wait for that. Swirley. Swirley. Swirley. Swirley. Put that shit on the fucking wheel. That's the funniest consequence I never heard. Thank you, fuck you bye.

No pun intended. We poo-poo that idea. Neither of us are putting our head in the toilets. It's not happening. Correct. Yarr, it's your favorite pirate. Shitbeard's a pirate here. Vinny, it's library.

Carl said it seconds before you did on the bonus show. Why the fuck are you saying, library? What are you laughing at? Shut the fuck up, Carl. Ah, Jesus Christ, if Carl did it, I could give him a pass of those goddamn chickled teeth. But you, oh, you're just fucking stupid. Penny Hoodles.

with the noises okay Carl I don't know what to make of any of this thank you everybody one more super chat we had here Hi Carl, do you have any money I can have?

No, that one came from Lil Lill Lillowlo I owe money to my meth dealer So unless that is my meth dealer That yes I'm on it, promise All right, well we'll be back on Friday with Carl's video from the local news.

Like I said, I've not watched it back. I hate watching myself. We're not going to watch the whole thing. Thank you. We're just going to watch a couple parts. Okay. Then he's going to choose a couple parts that are the most embarrassing. Correct.

It's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. You guys are the best listeners in the world. Patreon.com back slash the creep off. We'll see you next week.