The Creep Off - Episode 327: 1872

Episode Date: August 24, 2026

Join Karl & Vinnie for another wild card showdown. There is no category, and they can pick whoever they want! plus Karls Cop Cam, The Scum Parade and Vinnie spin’s the wheelDon’t forget to vote for who brought the biggest creep at patreon.com/thecreepoff.  Check out this week’s scum parade stories here: Iowa Woman Busted On Lawn Mower OUI Rap | The Smoking Gun Man allegedly killed father and kept corpse in the garageHeavily pregnant Australian mum charged with making child abuse material is released on bail | Daily Mail OnlinePassenger defecates on airplane seatThe score is currently Vinnie 1 - Karl 0 – Guest 4 Want more of the madness? Support the show on Patreon, Supercast to snag exclusive merch and get an extra bonus episode every week!Don’t forget you can leave us a voicemail at 585-371-8108You can follow our results girl Mahalia @mahellllyeahYou can follow our Results girl Danni on Instagram @Danni_Desolation

Yo, what the fuck is cracking? It's your boy. Eat that pussy foeful five. And you're listening to The Creepoff, a show about creeps, by creeps, and for you creeps. You're listening to the Carl Network. Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things.

If you're a kid, don't get on here, okay? See, that's that. You do a disclaimer. You tell the kids and get that the fuck off the damn page. I'm going to give the people

what they want. Sensation. Horror, shock. Remember the goods because I'm alive and I'm not backing down. Go-coo. Disgusting,

disgusting, thing. Ola Creepos, welcome to your favorite True Cry podcast, the show about creeps by creeps. For you,

creeps, I'm your host. My name is Vinnie and joining me today in studio. As always, my pal, my nemesis, my co-host. the great hot cucka carl. What is happening?

Vinnie Paulineo, good to see you, my friend. Happy Monday. Happy Super Chat Monday to all of you who are tuning in today. It's not just Super Chat Monday. It's also Super Tip Monday. So feel free to check in at supertips. Dot gg. Backslash creep and use one of our fun voices.

Super tip. Not super tips. Huh. Super tip. By the way, Labrard Mystic. You know, he's always complaining that his super tip doesn't go through. I had like four or five of them just sitting. in my account one day that has like gone in a week before.

They for some reason they're delayed with him. Uh, same thing here. Did you see the same thing? I just opened it up and. There it is. Oh, that looks like a new one. That looks like today because I think you did play the intro twice.

Well, look at that. Hot dog. Sure. Fucking up today. Well, just a little bit. Good to see you. No more than usual, though. That's true.

Welcome to the creep off, everybody. Uh, we got a great episode for you today. I'm spinning the fucking wheel apparently. That's right, buddy. I'm so excited. A wheel spinning day. It is a wheel spinning day. That means it's a wild card episode, which means Carl and I have no rules, no holds are barred.

We can pick any creep we want to. We've got scum parade, cop cam, all sorts of shit today. Everyone is saying that the sound is terrible. So we sound like shit. Are we going into the wrong microphones by any chance? Dude, this thing actually. It reset everything, didn't it? I think that should be good now.

Oh, boy. How's that, everybody? Could they even hear me at all? It's so many zingers. Oh, dude, that was the best you've ever. ever been. I know. It sucks. You didn't record that? We didn't air any of that conversation. It's a good thing. I am recording it from a different source. Oh, so there will be evidence that there were zero zingers. Is that what you're saying? Yep. I shouldn't have said that then. Calling you

out, you liar. All right. All right, bud. That was very strange. We started the show and then all of a sudden streamyard just went you're not allowed to have a camera or a microphone. It was weird. It was very weird. It was bad start. Let's change that. Let's bring in a very special friend of ours to give us the results from last week's episode and discuss consequences. It's Mahalia, everybody. How do you? How's it go? It's going well, Malia.

Your microphone works at least. Last week, it was you. This week, it's us. I'll figure this out. I passed my tech issues along to you all. Well, stop it. Mahalia, let's start off with the important stuff. Let's find out who got the point from last week's episode.

Last week was creepiest only fans model. You all voted at home. Mahalia, do the business. Tell everybody what's up. All right. The winner of last week's point in the category of creepiest only fans. We have Vinny and Sierra Jane Inesco. Excellior, true believers. What? I won one. That sucks. You won one. What the hell is you supposed to be? How is this possible? What was the percentage of the vote? Malia.

I don't reseal the percentages. It was 64% Carl. Not a math person, not a math person. 64%. You're not a math person. You can't read a percentage. I'm going to ask you to calculate it. Carl, the only thing that matters is this is currently a...

Vine housing for the win housing. And I'm taking my point. Congratulations, buddy. Thank you. It's been so long since you've lost that you're like really upset about it. It's like back to old times. Yeah, it's annoying. I don't like losing.

I get it sucks. It's not fun. fun. You're back in the game, Vinny. Thank you. I'm in the lead. I'm in the lead, baby. Starting off strong.

So. Who gives a shit? Who gives a fuck? Great to see it today, Carl. It's great having you? Yeah. Let's talk about the consequences, shall we? Yes.

What's on the wheel today? This is what we have currently. Number one is winner's choice. Number two, we put on last time, was WNBA game. Yes. Which sounds like hell on earth to me. Yeah. Isn't the season like almost over too?

We got to get on top of that quick. Yeah, I'd have to go pretty quick. And it'd probably have to be to Cleveland. And that does not sound like fun to me. Are you sure the games aren't sold out already? I hope not. That would really throw a wrench of things. They're not.

Oh, good. Not even close. Number three is join the Jerry Banfield family. Yep. Now, how do you feel about that, Carl, now that you know that he's a dangerous sociopath? Well, but even more. Perfect. Yep.

You got to record your phone call with him, too. Number four, completely blank right now. We don't have a consequence. I thought we had a great one last week that we were putting on the wheel. I did. I threw it in there just a little bit later. Number five, date with a doll. Nobody has landed on that yet.

That's a fun one. Number six is the one that we talked about last week. Coffee with Woke Dad. That's the one that we thought about. That's the one where you have to drive through his mobile coffee shop and say something racist so that he can school you on proper things to say. Change your life. Yes.

I need to go get converted. I woke dad. Nice. Trump spray tan. It's a good one. Number eight is past the spin. I don't like that. Yeah, I know you don't.

So what do we got for number four then? Because I know we were getting some suggestions into the email that we have. Creep off consequence ideas at gmail.com. Yeah. Mahalia, got a couple. Some of them are completely psychotic that I will not entertain. Fair enough. Mahalia, why don't you go ahead and tell us some that we got?

So one is. reading the entire Mersch letter in sincerity. So you have to be as genuine as possible through the whole thing. It might take you a while. Yeah. There's also a suggestion

for a Cisification service sub for a Dominatrix, specifically in Rochester. This does exist. One more time? Yeah, explain that one. Do you have to become a dominatrix or you have to go to one?

I think you go to one. There's a link included that I have not yet clicked. Don't know where it's going to take me, but a cisification service for an hour, and you have to broadcast it on Patriot. So I think it's you getting whipped into shape from a dominatrix. Okay.

All right. How about just letting a bull cuckold your wife? Is that out of the wheel? Jesus Christ. No fuck is going on. My personal favorite recent submission is for the loser to insert a buck plug, electric and the winner gets to do all of the control. What the fuck?

I didn't sign up for this. I did not sign up for... I did you think I signed up for this? A butt plug. This is what the fans have suggested, what they've brought to light. Okay. No fucking thank you.

All suggestions are valid. You know, we always say on this show, this is a show about creeps, buy creeps, for creeps, and you are proving it, you fucking creeps these... I think you all underestimated the amount of creeps and level of creep that we have listening. I think I did underestimate it there, Malia.

I think I did. Carl, I did get a voicemail with some suggestions, and I'll play this one up front because there's a couple in here. Good. I figure I'd give a couple suggestions for Vinny Spinny over there. You should sell feet picks, you know, going along with the feet theme, and then Carl gets the money to feed you after you do it. That's funny.

You got to go on podcasts or tell people in person for like a year that you were on Ozambic. Fuck no. Not that you're actually lost. doing it the normal way. And fuck podcast profit. That guy sucks. Stop taking a stupid voicemails. See you.

Okay, let's put stop taking podcast Tim and's voicemails on the wheel, Carl. I disagree with that. I, uh, not podcast, uh, podcast profit, right? Podcast profit. I like his voice smells. Okay, so sell feet picks and give the money to Carl. Oh man, Ashley Coim's going to be so pissed that you get in on her territory? How the fuck would I even do that?

How would you, who, where the fuck do you go to sell feet picks and who's buying it? market for it. Malia's like, I'll send you the link. She already sent me the link to the butt plug, which I don't know how she had. Okay. No, it was for the dominatrix. I've yet to pick out a butt plug for you all. Oh, thank you.

So, um, I don't know, Carl, what do you want to throw in there? I mean, you're the winner. You're the winner. What was the first thing again? Oh, that was the dominatrix thing. It was go to a dominatrix for an hour, which I'm definitely not into at all. That's fucking awful. Um, feet picks give Carl the money.

All right. Let's do that. Let's do feet picks. Who the, okay. Um, for the sake of making this easy. Yeah. We'll just do that. We'll put it on, uh, I don't know, put it up on Patreon or something.

Feet picks. Should I give you the money or should I actually kill? There will be no money. Uh, Raperbuss says, loser, uh, makes a film with Scarlet Hampton. That's a good idea. Oh, why don't you just put get AIDS? Yeah. On the wheel.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get fucking AIDS. Let's do that. All right. Feet picks, money to Carl. Should we give the money to you or should? Yeah, I'd rather give the money to you. I was going to say, should I finally send it to podcast Hitman?

You do owe them 100 bucks. I don't know fucking anything. Okay. Thank you, Mahelia. We will see you again soon. Make sure you send in all of your consequence ideas to creep off consequence ideas at gmail.com. They go right to Mahalia and she's curating them. Don't be creepy.

Do you interact with the people who email? you, Mahalia? Do you get back to them? I send a email response just to let them know that their submission has been received and is being reviewed. All right. So if you want to flirt with Mahalia, pretend you have a consequence idea. Oh, that is definitely already expired. That's already what? They're hitting on you already? It's taken place. Yes. One person's asked me to give them a call back. I have not yet, though. But all submissions are valid. Okay. Listen, guys, Mahalia ain't calling you. Hold on. Vinnie, you're very quick to say what Mahalia is and isn't doing.

Meli, have you ever done like a phone sex thing before? They didn't leave their phone number. Well, I mean, now they know what to do that. Have you ever done like phone sex before, either professionally or as an amateur? I have not. I have not brought myself into that thing. I feel good at it. Don't you, Vinny?

I think she'd be too giggly. Yeah. I think she'd make you feel bad. I wouldn't be able to get through it seriously. That's true. I'd be like, all right, so I'm taking my cock out. She just starts giggling. Like, all right, well, this is ruin the mood.

Never mind. That giggle right there. That's the one. That's the one. That's the one. Way to go. It gets bigger. Give it a second.

Jesus. All right. Why do they have to charge by the minutes? Stop laughing. Thanks, Malia. Make sure you follow Mahalia on Instagram. Where it is again, Mahalia? It's Mahalia with like six L's.

Five L. M-Ls at the hell yeah. And yes, please send all of your consequence ideas to creep off consequence ideas at Gmail.com. All righty. And if you... Perfect. Perfect.

I didn't do that. I didn't do that. That was great. All right. I appreciate that. All right. You ready to start a competition, my friend? I'm so ready, buddy.

It's wild card. Let's go. That's not the fucking thing. Hold on. It's this one. I'm killing it today. Dude, if you're killing it, I'm, already fucking dead. Let's introduce you to my creeps today, Carl, because this is

Wildcard. You can bring anybody you want to. There's no rules. There's no anything. So I'm bringing in a group of gentlemen. They have a fun nickname, Carl. The Red Light Orderlies. Sounds like a fun 80s band, doesn't it? Sure does. It's not. It's these creepos. Huh. Great. Great. Great. There we go. There we go. All right. So this is them. This is Sergey Kopei, Eugenie, Turchin, and Mikhail Vershininen. Now, they're from a little country you may have heard of it, called Kazakhstan, Carl. Sure. A lovely country that was brought to all of our attention to the great movie Borat.

Copay and Turchin were half-brothers. They worked as orderlies at a psychiatric hospital, Carl. And Vershin was a paramedic at the same hospital. And together, when they joined forces, they became a dastardly, dastardly duo. they were all very... Nopi, nopi. The story starts in 1998. Copay and Turk have picked up a 15-year-old sex worker when they were drunk on their way home from the bar. It's fun? Yeah.

Now, they brought her back to Sergei's apartment where they lived together. Their plan was to tag team her and then rob her, which is what you do to 15-year-olds, apparently. And instead of that, she went into the bathroom and she had said something that kind of annoyed them. so when she walks out of the bathroom instead of them just robbing her, Eugene took the knife he had and just decided to stab her to death with it. Yeah, 15-year-olds can be really fucking annoying.

Agreed. Yeah. That's why it's funny when people are just like talking about fetishizing teenagers. Teenagers suck. They're so obnoxious. There's nothing, nothing that's going to make them relatable,

fun to talk to. No. I'm not going to anyone's prom anytime soon. Dear God. You know, my philosophy on the situation is the shit happens when you party naked and she's 15, she learned the hard way. Sure. Now, they had to figure out what to do with her body, Carl.

You know, they're both pretty fucking drunk. Mm-hmm. And Sergey looks at Eugene and says, you know, Are you going to fuck that? I'm kind of hungry. You hungry? Uh-oh. Yeah.

And what is described by the two of them as a whib? They decided to podcast hit manate and cut off strips of flesh from her body and cooked it. They cut it end up into little squares and they actually, made kebabs. And they ate 15-year-old hooker kebabs together drunk off their asses. It's crazy that one of them would have the idea and the other one would be like, yeah, that sounds right. You'd think one of them would be like, no, we're obviously not doing that.

Now, the wilder part about that to me is this is the first murder they ever did. Okay. And they weren't freaking out over it. They were just like, hmm, well, kind of hungry. So matter-of-factly that they went along with it and did it. Now they have the rest of the body. Like I've been telling you for years on the show, no one cares about murdering hookers. It doesn't change your day.

You're right. You're right. They don't, Carl. You're right. Which is why I'm fortunate to say that a few months later, Eugene's good friend Alina Sylvia Merculiva, who was a bar friend of theirs, came over and hung out at the apartment one day. Okay. And they were drinking, and she mouthed off to Sergey, who got very upset and broke a bottle on the table. and then use that to slice her throat open.

Oh, wow. Yeah. That escalated quickly. Yeah. This time, they did a better job of butchering their friend. They filled their fridge with meat. Okay. Dismembered the rest of her body and threw her into garbage cans across the town.

Okay. Which apparently seems to be the way to get away with the disposing of bodies, just throw different parts of different garbage cans and hope nothing sticks. I appreciate the fact that the, like the Native Americans, but the Buffalo, they decided to put the body to good use. Yeah. So these two guys are just drawn. That's what they're described as, just town drunks.

They work at the hospitals, orderlies. They're mopping up shit. Yeah. They're emptying bedpans. But there was another guy that they worked with. The third guy I told you about Mikhail. Now, Michaelel was actually a paramedic. Okay.

So he was like one step below male nurse. And he became like, what are their drinking buddies? Yeah. They all just became friends. And so they're getting hammered one day. And they go, hey, Mikhail, I got to tell you something. We have a really good time. we have just the best time.

You know what we do? We like to, you know, eat people. Yeah. We murdered bitches. Yeah. And then we cooked them and eat them. Yeah. It started one time,

those 15-year-old hooker, delicious. And then his stupid drunk friend, we ate her. She was a little gamier. You know, she hung out at the bar a lot. She wasn't quite 15-year-old.

But he was like, holy shit, guys. That's fucking insane. Because I've been fantasizing my entire life of abducting and raping and murdering women. What are the chances? Unbelievable.

Wow. Unbelievable. So happy. And he said, but you know what you guys are doing it all wrong? You know how you're just like stabbing him and killing them? What's easy to do is you just get them drunk and then we steal some diazepam from the hospital. And we put that in their drinks and that'll just knock them out. And we could just kill them easy and then, you know, have all the sex we want to with them.

And then the brother's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. But we get to eat them too, right? Yeah. And he's like, okay, I guess. We could eat them. but I'm going to have sex with them first, okay, dudes? I mean, this is a fucked up little posse that gets formed here, Carl. Yeah, it sounds like Kazakhstan's got some problems.

So the three men begin targeting sex workers around the Red Light District, not just hookers, broads they wanted to meet, they just kept them drinking. They would approach a woman, bring her back to the apartment, give her alcohol, give her the demise of Pam. Once she's capacitated, boom. Jerry Bairfield, are you taking notes? Yeah. This is how you snap out of your slump here, buddy.

So it turns out that the brother Eugene was quite the gourmet with the people. He made kebabs, minced meat pies, cutlets. And in fact, he shared those with other people. He would be like, hey, I made something. You guys want to try some of these homemade kebabs? We got the fresh garlic. So it was a fun prank making people eat people, right? Yeah.

That's funny. In fact, Mikhail, you know, our pal Mikhail, the newbie who just really liked to murder. Yeah. He thought it would be funny because Mikhail was married. married. He thought it'd be really funny to bring home some cutlets and feed him to his wife. That is funny. Yeah.

Yeah. Did you like that meal I made you? Pretty good. Cannibal! You ate people. You ate people. Unbelievable. He made his wife eat hooker meat.

Yeah. So again, Carl, in their minds... She probably deserved it in his defense. And their mind, in their minds, they're having the time of their lives just being drunk assholes. their little fucking fraternity. I get it. Now, this one woman named Olga Yacanovanka

was a woman that Eugene, the middle one, fancied from the bar, and he got her back to the apartment and gave her one of their magical cocktails, and she passed out. And they killed her, Carl. They suffocated her, strangled her to death

while she was passed out. See, this is what Bill Cosby should have come out and said. He's like, I didn't do that. I could have been like, these guys. It was not so. bad? Women woke up the next day. Sure. Or while I'm inside that or whatever. Well, this one didn't wake up.

So they were about to dismember her so they could, you know, harvest the meat. Sure. And he goes, hey, hey, guys. Not this one. Oh. 60-thigh. Oh, no. He kept that one for a couple of days, Carl. Yeah. You see, he

really liked her. So he just kept her in his room as a fuck doll for a little while. That's not great. Well, the meat I'm bad. I'll tell you that. That's true. Yeah. You really spoiled to eat that way. That's gross. Yeah. So it turns out that Mikhail, the new guy, was like, hey, you know what? I think I want to be a doctor.

I think, you know, I really want to better myself. I can't just be out murdering women and eating their bodies with you guys and tricking my wife and eating hookers. It's not a long-term plan. That's true. Right. So he's like, you know what? I think I need to study the human body more. Do one of you guys just get me a skull? Okay. And Eugene was like, hey, I got just the idea. So he goes into his bedroom and rips the head off of his decomposing sex doll. Okay. And then they, like, scrubbed all the head and brains out of it.

And they put this caustic stuff on it to try to, like, clean off and strip the bones. But it ended up ruining it. But he brought it to Mikhail anyway. The next day at work at the hospital, he handed him a human skull. And Mikhail didn't think it was very good. So he threw it out the fucking window at the hospital. and someone found it in the bushes. Yeah, don't bring it to work.

Drop it off my house, man. I'll grab it when I get home. Bring it to my workplace. He ate? Yeah. He threw it out of the window at the hospital. Yeah. Fun thing to find in the bushes.

Then in March of 1999, Vershinnan had a problem, Carl. You see, he was dating this woman named Tatiana Bukarava. Uh-huh. And on the side, apart from his wife. Sounds hot. And he'd been having the affair with her, but she threatened to expose the affair to his wife.

So he asked his friends, What is the best move to silence a woman? And they suggested bring her out over to the apartment. We'll take care of it. Okay. So they gave her a cocktail, dismembered her body, filled up the fridge. But this time, Vershinnan kept her skull right. He did it, polish it up all nice.

And his mistress's skull ended up on his desk at home. Oh. Paperweight. Yeah. Yeah. So the problem is they're murdering all these wings. They're dumping bones of women all across town. And people are finding them, Carl.

People are just finding bags of people. And that's not great. So eventually, Sergey, and here's a good picture of Sergey, this is him. This is Gene, and that's Mikal. But Sergey was identified by an old lady who saw him dropping suspicious bags in a garbage can. So the cops paid him a visit. And he implicated the other two. He said it was my brother and this other guy.

They're maniacs. Oh, what a dick. Yeah. Yeah. Initially, they confessed to the murders and the cannibalism, all while blaming each other. It was his fault. And once they got to court, they changed their stories. They said everything was coerced.

They didn't eat people. What they admitted to is they said, those weren't people. That was dogs. Oh. We were eating dogs. They thought that was better in Kazakhstan. Yeah. People like dogs more than they like people.

More. Yeah. No shit. So in September of 2001, all were convicted and sentenced to death. The police connected them to at least six murders. General accounts think that it's about 17. Several victims were never identified. Their executions were never carried out because Kazakhstan imposed a moratorium on the death penalty.

Whoa, whoa, woo. And their sentences were changed to life imprisonment in a prison work camp. So that's kind of cool. Sergei died in 2008. The other two are locked up forever, doing hard time, Carl. So it's illegal to murder and eat people in Kazakhstan? It sure is. I just looked it up.

The ancient consent. Do you know what it is in Kazakhstan? Seven. It's 16. Oh. It's 16. Well, that's a pleasant surprise. They almost got her.

Yeah. She was 50 to the half. I don't know. Maybe there's a rounding error there somewhere. I'm not sure. Well, great presentation, Vinnie. Well, thanks, pal. It seems like some real creeps he brought to down.

I got to tell you, this one seems like a no-brainer when you go to Patreon.com, vote for your pal Vinny. All right. Well, don't vote so quickly. to you hear my presentation. No, no, it's okay. You can. But first, it is Super Chat Monday. We are celebrating. The people here are celebrating. We appreciate that like Joseph Collins. Joseph Collins, a member for 12 months. As Jerry Banfield today was like watching Kung Fu as a kid. Epic.

Oh, good. I haven't got caught up yet. I've been watching cop cam videos all morning. I'm looking forward to that. That's fun. Labromistic. Thanks for the two bucks. An intro is so good. We played it twice. Vinnie Carl. Thank you, bud. Again, with Labromistic, tin can audio. We could barely hear Carl. Yeah, I was trying to do you all a favor. Sorry. Rock Overby, 2002, thanks for the Fiver. I would give more, but I'm going to free $25 seminar with Owen Cook that will teach me how to smash some snizz from a totally not just do-it man. Yeah, that was an interesting thing. So this Owen Cook guy.

Yes, dude, Andy found, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess he's going to do a show with Luigi Greenberg dedicated just to Owen Cook. And apparently he does these free seminars where he teaches you how to be confident around the ladies. And the free seminar costs $25, which is odd. You have to somehow, like, track them down to get your money back afterwards. Weird. Weird deposit system they have.

Another five are from Labyrinth. Consequence, whenever addressed on a show, such as saying your name, loser must respond with, I'm the gayest. Okay. Like, I'm the greatest response. Interesting. That's a consequence idea. So we just to say we're the gayest.

For an entire episode or for an entire series? Rest of your life. Anytime someone says your name. Well, I'm the one spinning, so don't you, you're acting like the weight of the world is on you over there, pal. Joseph Collins 628, thanks to the 99. Please, Vinie, join the Jerry family comedy for beyond decades. Yeah, no, I think that's a good one, too. I agree.

Jerry, I'm having a problem. I've been married for 17 years. I just don't know what to do. I don't know what to say to Jerry. What would I say to Jerry? Jerry, I need help with my YouTube channel. See you can get him to confess to doing gay stuff or something. I don't know.

Oh, shit. Funny. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. I bet you I'd get woke dad to confess it easier. Yeah, that's true. Another two bucks from Labyrinth. Consequences do shows as stuttering John for a month.

I don't think anyone wants that. Should I reach out to John and see if I could do a show on his channel? You should do that. I let you on. I have to do a consequence, and I need to do it on your channel. Is that all right? Carl's not a friend. Won't eat your human kebabs.

It's true. Which part? I get very turned off by that. Labar Mystic, two bucks. Your Honor, my victims woke up the next day. Come on. Yeah, Bill Cosby defense. I love it.

I love it. Any supertip.g.g. Griep. Oh, here we come. Donations coming in. Consequent suggestion, walk through downtown Rochester, wearing the sandwich boards from Die Hard 3. No thank you, Captain Chief.

Psychoalkton, maybe Fairport, New York, and do that. Oh, you pussy. Are you fucking kidding me? Come on. No. Never dodged a bullet before? No. I'm way too big to dodge bullets.

That's true. Oh, man. Vinny should bring a normal black family to the local Kentucky fried chicken. I miss seeing you guys live. Fucking climate change. Distriga. Thank you. Good to see you, my friend.

Oh, man. And you know what? Joseph Collins gave us 10 on super tips as well. Nice. He said, please join the Jerry family. Thank you, brother. Wow. Oh, I think it says Super Tip Now incorporates all the Super Chats.

Okay, so that is my fault then. That is your fault then. Great. So if you're doing the accounting at home, we did not actually get more donations. Those are the same donations. No, some of them were different, some of them with their voices. We should be adding up our money and talking about that throughout the episode. We do this weird thing on the show where we present creeps and watch a cop cam and listen to voicemails and do the scum parade.

And we never talk about how much money we're making or how we're making more money. than other people. It's this weird thing that we do. And we are. So, you know, that's definitely not true. Whatever. Well, like it more than Clearwater, Chad. All right, you ready for my creep?

I guess. Will you pull up a Jerry one image for me? This is Jerry Brudos. Oh, Lord. Jerry Brutos here. He's got a real Opie Taylor. Yep. He seems like a sweet kid, right?

No. You'd want your son Pam around with him. Don't think so. At the age of five, he developed a shoe and foot, fetish. So he discovers he's in for some reason

he's in a junkyard. He discovers these leather high-heeled shoes with rhinestone studded clasps and he's like these are great. Brings him home.

Tries him eyes walking around the house little five-year-olds got these high-heeled shoes. And the mom shrieks and says he's wicked

for wearing these shoes. She severely beats him and burns the shoes in his presence. Uh-huh. This had no offense. on him and everything was fine after that. Just kidding.

Yeah, that's one of those things where when you shame a kid that hard, there's always going to be unintended consequences. Yeah, so his mom wanted a daughter and she reminded him of that all the time. It's like, ah, another fucking son. So I wanted a daughter. I bet you if he had a sister, she wouldn't kick the shit out of the sister for wearing a pair of Nikes. Good point.

Good point. So Brunos began stalking women in his early teens. At the age of 16, he's, he would be able to. He lured a neighborhood girl into his bedroom. He then exited the bedroom. Listen to this. And then he reappears minutes later wearing a mask and brandishing a knife, forces the girl to strip naked, takes photos of her.

And then he runs out of there. And then he comes back in wearing his original clothing, his hair is in disarray. He's got like a scuff mark on his face. No, he did it. He's like, whoa, that guy just locked me in the other room over there. Holy shit, that guy's a madman. No, he did it. Yes.

That's like looted tune shit. He's like tucking his shirt back in. Oh my God. Where'd he go? Where did he go? I'll get him. Did he hurt you? Did he have a Polaroid?

Where did he put the Polaroid? He took pictures of you naked? Oh gosh. I'd hate to see that. And that's all he did is he took pictures. He didn't like flip flop. That was the first offense. Okay.

Okay. Within a year of the first known offense, he established a pattern of abducting girls that are like his age or a little bit younger, forcing them into his barn. and ordering them to disrobe and photograph them. He often did this at knife point. So what he would do is he would lock the girls into a corn crib and then leave and then repair wearing different clothing with his hair combed differently. And he would explain that, hey, I'm Ed. I'm Jerry's twin brother. So he stopped the mask thing.

He just started changing his hair and his clothes. And he was the twin brother. He went for the, he legitimately did the evil twin bit. Yes. And then. Did he draw on a mussel? So then he would force the girls to get naked, take photos of them, and then leave, and then Jerry'd come back in and be like, whoa, what just happened?

Was my twin brother in here? That guy's a madman. What did he? Ed? Did you do to one of my dates again? He didn't hurt you, did he? Wow. He's in therapy.

That's probably going to send him back a bit. I'm sorry that happened, Dia. Don't tell anyone. We're trying to get him help. It sucks. That's wild. In one occasion, April 926, Bruton's persuaded in 17th, year old girl to accompany him on a date.

He drove to a remote area and ordered her to undress. The girl refused. So he dragged her out of the car, started beating her, broke her nose. Oh, that's quite the escalation. She's screaming. And a couple's driving by in their car, they hear this. And they intervene. Alert authorities.

He gets arrested. So he's on charges of assault and battery. It was my twin brother, Ed. I swear. Well, so then the. the cops, they're talking to the mom. They're like, can we see what's going on in this guy's bedroom? They go in there?

There is lots of clothing from the ladies that he's abducted over the years. He's been collecting it. He loves lingerie. He loves shoes. He's really into that sort of thing. So they're able to identify some of these victims based on the clothing that they find. And are these my wife's panties? He reveals, he goes, listen, I understand it seems like it's a crazy.

thing. My twin brother, Ed, is actually the one who's doing all this shit and leaving it in my room for me to get in trouble. So they do a psych avail on this guy. And he is in the nut house throughout high school. So they believed he was crazy? Yes. So this wasn't, okay, okay, Carl, in your research here, do you think this guy was just pretending that Ed was like a thing to cover up what he was doing? Or do you think he was legitimately like, split personality. He's not split personality. Okay, so he's full of shit and they're dumb.

Yes. Got it. This is 1960. You know, they're just like, oh, he's abnormal. Throw him in the nut house. We'll figure it out. Okay. So they determine that he's mentally ill.

And after high school, he gets let out. He goes to the military for a little while and gets out of the military. He's working at a radio station as an electrician. Would they have him doing nom? I think it was before nom. He was a seamstress in the army. This was probably the Korean War. Oh, okay.

this time. You ever play that game that Dick Masterson invented where you ask a woman approximate dates of major wars and see how dumb women are? Oh, shit. If you ask a woman, the Revolutionary War, Civil War, World War I, World War II, Vietnam, it's crazy the answers you get back. You know, Jen's here right now. Oh, right, the cleaning lady.

Should we get her in here? I would love to hear her answers to that. I would love that. Hey, Jen. All right. Hold on. Let me get back to my presentation. He really is getting her.

He really is getting the cleaning lady. By the way, Vinny hates the cleaning lady. They have a very contentious relationship. I think she's coming. I think so. Okay. Well, this is fun. We'll do this in the middle of my presentation.

Why not? Oh, yeah. It's called a vote for Carl, by the way, Patreon.com. Hey, Jen. The creep off. Would you like to come on the creep off for one second? Okay. Just come here real quick.

All right. I need to ask you one question. Okay. Which war are we going to ask her? Uh, let's go. with Civil War. Okay. Approximately.

What were the dates? What year was the Civil War? Go. 1872. Okay. Okay. I'm going to give it to her. I'm going to give it to her.

That's impressive. Thank you. That's a... Jen passes the test. World War II. World War II. 1820. 1820?

Hold on. Get back in here. Get back in here. World War II was 1820? Yeah. When was World War I? 1750 was World War I? I googled it.

1750? It was 1914. Yeah, it was last century. You're tricking me. Okay. Okay, thank you, John. I'm so glad you followed up with a question because I was just like, oh, this woman knows what she's talking about. I'm very honored.

I'm glad I'm excited. Thank you. She answered with confidence, too. I'm not even sure of 1872 is correct. I think the Civil War was over by that, but she answered with confidence. I'm looking that up now, too, which was impressive. So we were just like, all right, I guess she knows. I thought you were looking it up.

What's going on? I thought you were looking it up while we're talking. 1750 is World War I? 1861 to 1865. Okay, yeah. I thought it was over before 1872, but still, I gave her credit for 1872. That's close enough. Yeah.

Wow. That's a fun game, isn't it? Yeah, we're to play more of that around here. We should play a lot more of that around here. Oh, we have results girls. Don't tell them. How is we not? No, go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No one tell me how yeah. No one tell Danny that we're going to do this. God damn it. What a fun game. Wow, Dick is a genius. He really is. All right. So in 1960, this guy, Jerry, he's checking out this woman who's wearing revealing clothing.

So he starts following her around, follows her back to her apartment. That tree strangles her into a semi-conscious state before fleeing with her shoes. Shortly thereafter, there's another attractive lady he sees. And he tries the same shenanigans. She overpowers him. However, he's able to get away with one shoe. and flee. Oh, I bet you that pissed him off right away.

Yep. He starts sleeping with these shoes and everything. He's collecting from these women. He's really into the... Do you imagine how bad that room stinks? Oh, it's awful. Just what smelly dead women's shoes? Well, he's still living with his mom.

And his mom makes him sleep in the shed out back. And so in the shed, he's got, like, these women's shoes and stuff that he's been collecting. He gets married to a teenager. And he makes her do chores around the house naked, just wearing high heels. and he photographs that and then he likes to bang her after that. It's kind of like his thing.

He's nice to her. Uh-huh. He's nice to her. He's got a garage there at the house. Very nice. Oh, good. He works on cars, you know, as like a side hustle kind of thing. His wife and his two kids are not allowed to enter the garage without announcing themselves on an intercom.

He has to give them permission to enter the garage. Okay. Well, that sounds like a red flag. Between January, 1968, and April, 1969, he abducts and kills four young women. Linda Slausen, 19 years old, a door-to-door encyclopedia saleswoman. That's not great. Who the fuck is hiring a 19-year-old woman to sell encyclopedias? That's the 60s, man.

Just free love and hippiness going around. Jan Whitney, 23 years old, Karen Sprinkler, a 19-year-old college student, and Linda Saly, 22 years old. This is what he does. He brings him in the garage, strangles them to death. Then he poses their bodies. He puts different clothing on him. He's got all this lingerie. He's got a big collection of stuff.

He takes photos of it. He jerks off while he's doing this. He fucks him a little bit after they've been murdered. He does that a little bit. When does he cook them and eat them? So then he starts playing with their feet and their ankles and massaging their toes. Sometimes he cuts off the foot at the ankle and keeps it in the freezer. So you can try different shoes on it after he gets rid of the body.

Does he really? He's like, oh, I bet you those. pump silk fantastic out of this. So after he cuts off feet, he mutilates the bodies and just retains the pieces that he likes for his little fetishes that he has. He tries to abduct other women who get away. So there's four that he abducts, strangles, fox, whatever. But then there's ones that get away.

But they were at his house, though. He does this in the garage. How does it get away? So, yeah, so a couple of women like hit him in the head. And then run. And how do they not bring the police back to the garage? Okay. So that doesn't end up happening.

By the way, I should mention like he's into breasts too a little bit. Okay. He turns them into paperweights. So that's fun. Oh. Like does he have like an Etsy store or? Not yet. Okay.

It's before Etsy. This is the late 60s. So one of the women who gets away, which the authorities. And they decide to search the garage and, oh, Jesus, there's a foot in this freezer. All I see is a bunch of,

I see is a bunch of paper weights, chief. Yeah. Well, what about that foot in the freezer? That's kind of weird, right? So he pleads guilty to three counts of first degree murder, sentenced to three consecutive terms of life imprisonment without the possibility of parole. And he died of liver cancer at the age of 60. Well, that's good.

That's a bright spot. Yeah. Silver lining. Sure. What a piece of shit. Yes. Somebody pointed out that he looks like Ethan Ralph and now I can't unsee it. Yeah, I noticed that too.

If you want to pull up the other image I have of him, this is the newspaper article. Oh, shit. He looks sorry. Yeah. He looks really sad. You were asking how the women got away? Look at his posture. Oh, they got away.

He's just a fucking dork with a toe fetish. Oh, I just wish I could wear some pups to court, but they won't let me. He would love that. So that is my creep. He is known as the shoe fetish slayer, Jerry Brutos, vote for Carl. Well, Android.com slash the creep off. Well, it doesn't matter who you vote for, folks. Just go vote.

Patreon.com. backslash the creep off while you're there, become a bonus member and get access to our scum streams every week. Carl, are you ready for our favorite segment every? I sure am. Every Monday. I think it's time for a cop cam, everybody. I can't wait to see Carl's cock cam.

Fight with the cops for no reason. Will you please show me, Carl's cop cam? Lose all your rights. Ruin your life. McIntyre sent this one into me. Trent sent in a number of fun cop cam videos. And this one is wild. This is,

I'll apologize in advance for our audio listeners. We'll describe this as best we can because a lot of these clips are a young female driving headfirst into traffic. Everywhere this woman's driving is on the wrong side of the road. She's not British. She's just an idiot. Oh, no. Clip one, you're going the wrong way. It's just like planes, trains, and automobiles?

Exactly, that's what I was thinking, yes. You know, hold on one second. I'm going to... She just passes. She's left to center now for the country club. We're trying to catch up. 4-7. Yep, that is definitely the wrong side of the road, all right?

The wrong side of the road right there. Just like playing chicken with these cars, too, drive her right at them. And she's going back into the lane. Yep. with her hazards on. It is hazardous. That's a good point. By the way,

that line from planes and trains and automobiles is one of my favorite lines where the people are yelling, you're going the wrong way. They go, how do we know what we're going? That's fucking great.

Yeah, oh, are you guys drinking over there? Okay, all right. Yeah, she doesn't care about red lights either, which I believe in this country is supposed to stop at.

My next clip. Light, siren, 13,04. Blue the red light on the wrong side. side of the road westbound on Graham passing over

Route 8 currently Jesus Christ she's still in the wrong lane and she's 4 2, 3, 5 unsure We can bounce She's just racking up the tickets

doesn't she? Does she not realize the other lane is completely open in the same direction she's going? What fun is that? There's barely any obstacles.

Would you play a video game if there are no their cars on the road and you're racing around Grand Theft Auto? That wouldn't be fun. I like to be sensible. All right, Vinnie, you're not like her.

You're a man. You have a brain that functions correctly. Most of the time. They almost get her on this specific clip. It's close. You got her, you got her. Let's go. Let's go.

Oh, she gets away behind the cop. Sneaks through. Oh, my gosh. She just, folks, that was impressive. She threaded the needle. She threaded the needle on that one. Between two cars that are stopped at a red light. She not only is running the light, but she,

squeezed her car next to the cop car too the cop car that was trying to get in front of her she got behind and went around that's impressive actually she's actually a good driver for a terrible driver she's not a bad driver did you see did you see when the cop got up next to her and he goes uh oh it's a younger female no shit sirrahawk no shit yeah go figure um all right uh clip number four they have to stop the pursuit because she's doing so well no they give up Check this out. 05. I'm pushing 80 mile an hour.

What do you recommend? Continue. No, slow that. Make your light on. They'll just pass in Roseville. I'm going to shut it down here as soon as I get overroof. They just shut it out. It's too dangerous.

But Carl. She's just driving into traffic. She's striving into traffic. How do you just let her go? How do you just allow? Okay, I guess we better just let her drive in the wrong lane for, for us. Well, it's not helping following her. She's just going faster and faster.

Have any of you guys thought about driving up ahead of her, like just closing off the road? So they try to get stupid idiots? They try to get spike strips down. They're trying to figure out how to do that. And eventually they do get her. It doesn't stop her. But clip five, she's quite elusive. Nice.

Right on the curve. On the curve around me. Now Westbound seals. She's too fucking good at this. I want to buy whatever kind of piece of shit car this is, too. This would be a good advertisement. Look at this. Whoa.

Just going through all the cop cards. She has almost hit someone four times as we've watched. And she gets within inches, folks, inches of these people. That's amazing. Yeah, so she's just driving into traffic through cop cars. This lady might need to be elected leader of the women. Yes, I agree. Especially when you get to meet her a little bit.

You'll agree that she's really got her shit together. Good driver. By the way, this goes out and out and out. It's really incredible how long she's able to pull this off. Because you would think a cop would just like ram into her or something and just neutralize the situation.

But nope, clip six, they finally, finally get her. All right, watch this. Okay. She's like,

I'll just drive in the grass. And there she goes on the other side of the light pole. Still getting away from everyone. Another car just missed. She's still going by. The cops had to turn around and go back to try to get her. This is wild. You can see cars are pulled over on the side,

they just got hits. And now finally, this is where we get her. Boom. Okay, young lady, you're grounded. Dude, I got to say, the cop cam videos on YouTube have gotten so much better. It used to be just like one body cam, and you'd watch 15 minutes of a person getting pulled over and sassing off or whatever, they realize these videos get so many views that's so profitable now that they piece together

like dash cams and five different guys body cams and they pull all this shit together. It's amazing. Well, what happens now from what I could tell is that all of the cop cam footage regarding a case gets filed together. So when somebody requests the information through FOIA, they get all the cops' body cams that were working on the case. So that's awesome that they put into work. It is great.

Well, I mean, these are usually come from, I think, police departments or who make, I could be wrong. Some of them. Some of them are, for sure. Okay. So they got her. She stopped. But can they get her out of the car? Let's find out.

I have a feeling she's not into directions. Right. Foyled by a car lock. Oh, the door! Swim Jim. They couldn't break the glass. Watch yourself behind. Watch yourself behind.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Watch yourself behind. Put it in part. Put it in part. This person isn't moving or doing anything.

What is going on? Is she dead? There you go. Come on. Is this like a kid, kid? She was just struggling like a lunatic and now she's like passed out somehow. How did that happen? How old is this person?

This looks like a child child. She's in her 20s. Okay. By the way, remember, I don't know, I remember what they're called smashballs, the thing that you, the cops throw into, people's windshields. Remember someone gave them to us at Hackomania? Yeah, one was supposed to come to me. I did bring mine home. I thought I didn't.

I thought I didn't because I was worried about security at TSA. Where's mine? I mean, do you want one? Do you want to be able to smash it a windshield out? Yeah. I thought there was multiple that were given to us. I think there were multiple. I think I brought one home.

I found it the other day. I was like, oh, sweet. I do have one of these. Carl threw mine out. He threw Vitties out. He's like, oh, there's two here. One's for Viti. What's right?

Oh, you know what? I'll take mine. Jesus Christ. It's never enough for you. All right. So the cops. Wow. I give and give and give.

It's just never enough. So the cops here in my next clip, they've encountered this woman before, it turns out. Okay. Do you have anything on you, Michaela? Do you have anything on you, Michaela? She's like her on Monday night. At the time, she's bipolar and schizophrenic... I saw you coming, so I smoked down.

She hit my car. The new truck. Okay. Just so you know. I heard. It's, uh... Oh, boy. She's bipolar, schizophrenic, and on mushrooms.

Mersh, do you want her phone number? I'm happy to, to share that with you, buddy. Seems like your type. Do you think Mersh's letter to, uh, Ice Dancer is longer than the police report that's going to be filed about... this incident. His letter is longer than war and peace. Okay.

His letter is long. And by the way, I can tell you, AI did not write it. When I was a young man, my father gave me some advice and I had been turning over in my mind ever since. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. Honestly, if Merce would have put that into AI, it would have shortened the fuck out of it. But whatever.

It's fun. I'm glad he did that. All right. Clip number nine, she needs her meds. Vinny. Oh, is that all this is? Yeah, I got a young 20-something-year-old girl. Okay.

just did. You could have killed somebody. If all you need is meds, I wouldn't even happy to help you with over a long ball. But they told me, they told me in two weeks. And they didn't call me. I just need my medicine. I'm so scared. I didn't realize what I was doing.

I didn't even know how to have it. CBS's fault. CBS's fault. She just needs her ibuprofen. I fucking believe it, too. I believe it. Do you believe that she didn't know what she was doing? I believe that this Tainol baby did not know what she was doing.

She was driving pretty well for someone who was blackout out of their mind. She seemed to do a pretty good job. So agreed. But again, this person was driving on the wrong side of the road deliberately with a purpose. That tells me there's some crazy happening. Oh, you don't think she was having a little bit of fun? She actually, she wasn't having any fun. I think she was having a little bit of fun.

Okay. That's the sense that I got. Yeah. But she doesn't know what she was doing. And the police officers, they're not thrilled. to do this and the one guy turned into her dad right here. Oh, absolutely. We can take those.

She's off. You're fine. Sit down. You're okay. You want for a lot of people. You're okay. Michaela! Enough.

Whoa. Did you? I recognize her too. Did you see that? He's like, Michaela, that's enough. Sorry, Dad. He reprimanded her. That's what it took.

She needed that. Wow. Carl! Enough. I'm sorry. Oh, holy shit, it works. I'll be better. That's wild.

I'm sorry, I did that. All right. Wild. Clip number 11. If she's trying to plead insanity, it's working. Oh, do you have a breath of love? Oh, absolutely.

You're a ton of laws. All right. Let me take this off, okay? Tramette is right here. It's not based on windows. I don't know. I need you to listen, Kana. McHanna?

McCah. I made a mistake. You're Michaela, right? Just step backwards. Step backward. You're going to have a seat on this bench. Have a seat, okay? Oh,

insid, sit, sit, sit. I don't know. I just even feel weird. The power of God and guys. What's your interest to get? I think you said a few times. Mm-hmm. She's crazy.

I'm going to go with Looney Tunes, yeah. Would you? Would you hit that? With medication, without medication. Yes. Without? Absolutely. See what happens.

All right. Last clip on here. We're going to find out what she's charged with. It's a pretty long list. Okay. The suspect identified as Michaela Yensen told the court she believed she was experiencing a psychotic break at the time of the incident. Describing intense paranoia and delusional beliefs during the chase. Prosecutors claimed she had roughly 19 times.

the legal limit of marijuana in her system. During the pursuit, she struck at least two vehicles, one civilian car, and one police cruiser. Oh, she did hit that one. Suggesting the total may have been as many as four. She was charged with failure to comply, operating a vehicle while intoxicated, reckless operation, speeding violations, driving left of center,

and improper use of signal lights. According to news reports, Michaela was sentenced to two years of probation and had her driver's license suspended for three years. She was warned that breaching probation could result in up to three years in prison. Aw. I just like that mug shot.

She's smiling big. She's so happy. Yeah, he's like, hey, look it. I got here. She's not going to let this stuff bring her down, Carl. And that's what I like about Michaela. Two years probation and three years suspended license. Could we just never let this bitch drive again?

Doesn't that make way more sense? I mean, there's Uber and Lyft for you, sweetie. There's a bus. There you go. Can she be an Uber and Lyft driver? Because I think I've met a couple who are having psychotic breaks. I have two. I told you the story about the time my wife and I got in the back of an Uber in front

of my house and the woman knotted off. the driver knotted off as soon as we got in the car. We're right? Man, you okay? You okay? And she woke up. I was like, oh, like, what do you guys doing here? And my wife and I got out of the car.

She drove off. I was like, oh, that woman is on heroin. Did you say, thanks for the ride. All right. Five stars. We're all friends here, right? Dude, Jessica and I had a lady who had like, would look to be no older than four-year-old child.

Oh, yeah. And the front seat belt. I hate that shit. And the front seat with no seatbelt. The kid was just bouncing around playing with the radio. and shit. Yeah, it's crazy. I got to a car once where it was like the girl and her boyfriend and there was a baby in the trunk.

I mean, not the truck, but you know, like the hatchback kind of thing. Yeah. There's just a baby back there. I'm like, what the fuck is going on here? You want to go to the airport or not? Yeah, I do want to go to the airport. Delta. Have your kid get my bag.

Let's go. Oh, boy, Carl. It's time for, I think, one of the greatest segments in the history. of podcasting. Are we changing things up? Are we doing voicemelt at the end from now on?

Okay. We didn't have a meeting about that, but you've done it the last two times. So I assume that that was the case. Yeah.

I think it's a smart move. Yeah. Well, thank you. Yeah. Look at that. Meeting accomplished. Yep. Meeting adjourned.

Adjurned. Let's go. Scull parade. Take me on a rain of these fucksher raids that these creeps have made. Skull parade. Vinnie and Carl

going to tell you about some fuck shit of a kid fucked by his mom or dad soaking up the blood of a cat's complaint Carl this young lady is

Michelle Hudson she's 36 years old dynamite she's gotten herself into a little bit of trouble I recognize him Let's talk about Matt baby

Let's talk about her Yes, sir Let's talk about all the bad things And the bad things Met Head C Let's talk about meth She's from Iowa

And she has lost Her driver's license It has been suspended due to a conviction for driving her SUV will under the influence of meth. Now, probably best that she doesn't do that. So she came up with, and a better suggestion or a better tactic to get where she needs to go. Okay. So what she decided to do was start driving around on a Huscavana lawnmower?

Oh. Like letting in the Simpsons when he joins the gang. Right. Our driving mower. Yeah. She was arrested Friday night after a witness contacted police to report the defendant. I found it appeared to be intoxicated as she rode the mower in the parking lot of Casey's convenience store. Vinny, I don't know if you know this.

One of the things I love about this show and the research I do for this show, it gives me lots of good ideas. I'm always looking for things to do while I'm on meth. Mow the lawn. I've never thought of getting out a riding mower and cruising through parking lots. This sounds fun. I like this idea. I stand by that, too. or understand methamphetamine.

He just likes it an uncomfortable amount. I don't understand it. But yes, I have been an advocate for meth for a while now. I don't even know about the idea of riding around on a lawnmower. Well, she appeared to be intoxicated, but she did pass the breathalyzer, so they assumed she was on some other type of drug, guessing meth. She refused to provide a urine sample and was arrested for operating under the influence and driving well barred. both of which are aggravated misdemeanors.

So it turns out you can't drive a lawnmower around if you've got a suspended license. You can if there aren't tattletails around. Some fucking guy saw this methed out bitch right around a lawnmower in a parking lot called the cops. Just enjoy the show, man. So get out your phone and film it. Show some friends later. What's wrong with you? She's a real treat.

Her rap's sheet includes convictions for theft, possession of drug paraphernalia, criminal mischief, violating a protective order, meth possession, and assault. Would you? Probably not. Yeah. Hard pass. Yeah. No, thank you.

No, thank you. Here's a story for you, Carl. Okay. This fella, his name is Michael DeCosta. He's 29 years old, and he stands accused of one count of murder over the death of his 59-year-old father, David Edward DeCosta. Dude, he should have done what I did and just wait it out. Some of us don't have to wait as long as others, but dads always die 100% of the time. Tomorrow would have been my dad's 76th birthday.

Oh, man. I got you with my mom and. my brother and sister-in-law last night. Happy birthday, Dad. Aw. Did you hear that, Mr. Hamburger? See what you did there. I'm just kidding.

I see what you did now. You're dead. I just want to say something. He's definitely in hell. You're right. You're right. He's in heaven pulling the strings now. He controls nothing.

He's up there in heaven controlling the weather, I heard. Yeah, you can't convert into Judaism and then like own the entertainment industry. It's not how that works. You're going to be bored into that shit. Does it hurt? Probably. Yeah, it probably doesn't make them happy.

So this guy's in trouble. They found his father dead in the garage, Carl, and a body bag that he bought on Amazon. You can buy body bags on Amazon? Wouldn't that, like, set off a few red flags? I would hope it's delivered by a detective. What are you doing here? I'm actually, uh, I deliver for Amazon. Delivery for Michael DeCost.

You ordered what Fabreased body bag? He didn't order the Vibrize model. That's kind of the problem. So there's a terrible smell coming from the garage. People call the police. They found the door a jar and there was Pops. Now, what happened, Carl? What happened?

So he had a little girlfriend living there with him. Michael did. Nice. And listen, I'm going to have to go ahead and hit this button today. I don't want to. But, um... Victim blame. Yes.

Should have known better than to be a con. Victim blame. And now it don't matter because you're fucking dead. You've got your own self to blame. Now it's time to feel the pain brought by Carl and Vinay. It's such a crying shame to get victim blamed. So the woman is living there. The son is in the shower and he walks into the living room.

and finds the dad making out and trying to kiss on the girlfriend. We're trying to? Who are kissing her and like on top of her? They're into it. They're both into it. And by the way, what's the point of having children if you can't fuck your son's girlfriend? That's a good point.

You know what I mean? Isn't that kind of the point of having children in the first place? Well, the men started arguing. It turned into a physical altercation. Dad! It's my girlfriend. God! Now, he became very upset after seeing his dad kissing his girlfriend.

Sure. But can I remember exactly how the attack on the victim began? He says his dad was really, really drunk. Either way, he threw his dad down, stomped the shit out of his head, kicked him, punched him, beat him up. The dad got up, tried to go to his room to get a gun to shoot the son. The son pushed him down, but the dad was so drunk. He fell and hits his head and lays on the ground. He says my dad tried to get back up to go to bed, but then he just fell back on the ground and went to sleep.

and I was like, all right, I'll leave him there. I'm not buying any of the story. This is all coming from the guy who murdered his dad. Yeah, no shit. He was going to get a gun, and he's a jerk. He's a real violent guy. It sounds like you were upset that he was making out of your girlfriend, and you beat him to death.

The way he described, he says, eventually the older man gave up the fight, grabbed a pillow and laid down on the floor, and he walked away. Oh, I'm so sorry, I learned my lesson. I'm just to go to sleep now. Yep. And he said he checked in on his dad periodically overnight,

and heard the victim snoring, but discovered the victim was like. Wifeless the next morning. That's his story. Can I tell you what my thoughts are on that? Probably close to what the autopsy determined. Bullshit. Exactly correct.

Blunt force trauma to the skull is what killed Pops. He's being held with no bond. Now, Carl, this next story, this is a real sticky wicket. This is Lucy Ray McKenzie. We're going to Australia for this. Okay. She worked as a receptionist at the Gilgandra Public School. Tooth to gum ratios, a little off.

Oh, boy. And, like, her teeth are all at 90-degree angles. It's very weird. I think her teeth are amazing. What do you mean? I don't know. They're perfect. I don't like those straight teeth.

People like you and me. We should hate these people. So she lived with her husband and his nine-year-old stepdaughter, and she got arrested last month. Why? Well, hmm. You see, she had CP on her phone. Okay. That she was getting from KIC.

Okay. And apparently the account from KIC was messaging and sending pictures and receiving and sending and receiving pictures of CP. Is that what's going on on KIC now? It's going on everywhere. It's over there on Kik. Well. One of his fans sold him to get on there. Is that what they're doing?

Yes. 100%. I don't endorse this. Did I mention she also worked at a daycare center? Oh, that's not great. Yeah, yeah. The CP videos, Carl, babies under the age of 12 months. Oh, that's like a tiny little baby.

That's really bad. That's a baby baby. Now, here's the problem. Here's the real problem. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. I'm confused. What's the problem, Vinny?

This bitch is eight months pregnant. Oh, shit. She got a victim in there, huh? Future victim Brewing up a victim Coming up Jesus Christ So what do you do at that point?

Like you can't let this woman have this baby You can't let her like You can have she can have the baby But you ain't touched that baby Has a woman ever dills herself while giving birth? I don't think that's possible Because you'd be treating the baby like a like a musket ball Like you're just

Jam it back in and jamming it out a little bit Well I mean you could dittle the clip I'll explain you how vaginas work afterwards Keep going I wasn't saying I see where you went there with that This show is off the rails Yeah

I wasn't thinking about pleasuring women You see that's the problem I get it I do get that That makes sense Yeah So the question should be Does she cup the balls

While she's giving birth, Carl You see Trunk engineer thinks This is just a photo of me Put through one of those filters I'm sorry That is not me Again

Teeth are too straight I'll give this one to Labrin. Two bucks. Vinnie hates straight teeth. He prefers gay teeth. Fair enough. All right. So she's out on bail now.

She's not allowed to go within 100 meters of school, preschool or child care facility, not to be unaccompanied in the presence of any person under 16 years unless the person is her own child. 16. Gross. Too old. She's got home detention.

She's not allowed to leave the premises. She also had the internet taken away from her. That's important. That's wild. This is Australia, you said? Yep. They can't just take away the internet. You can't have any devices connected to the internet.

I didn't know they had it. You didn't know they had the internet. That was a joke. She's going back to court September 7th, which is around the same time she's due to give birth. So that'll be fun for the court to figure out. Cool. Who would have thought that women can make victims like this? This is fucked up.

It's not great. You know what, Carl? Would you believe that I have a story that's worse than this? I can believe that because I've read it. I already read it. Is this the worst thing you've ever thought of in your life? I can't imagine. Vinny, as you know, as the hack that I am, I fly quite often and I have lots of tails of airplanes

and airports. It's kind of my go-to thing. So when I heard this story, I was pretty upset about it. Well, this is an Air Asia flight we're going to talk about. Now, if you notice, Carl, right here on the side of this plane, it says big duty free. Now, that's upsetting to me because that could not. any more of a misrepresentation. It sure is.

This plane had to be disinfected and deep cleaned after a female passenger pooped in her seat on the flight from Malaysia to China. The incident came to light after fellow flyers freaked out because of the stink. Hold on a second. It's kind of a good prank, though, right? No, it's a terrible prank.

Remember that time when stuttering John and Jim Fortin were farting on the plane and giggling to each other? And the stewardess had to be like, hey. Cut up, guys. Well, they were just trying to cover up. John's breath. They were trying to help everybody. But this woman took it one step further. She's like, well, fart lasts so long. But if I just shit in the seat, that would be the whole flight. Well, if this isn't on a YouTube channel, then it doesn't count. Okay. Then it's just being an asshole. Got it. So the flight deported on 10.30 p.m. was laid to touchdown at 3 a.m. So this is a long flight, folks. 40 minutes before landing, passengers noticed a terrible smell wafting around the cabin. The stench was supported at least so overpowering that it forced many of the flyers awake. People were sound asleep. People were opening windows.

That's how bad it was. A witness, last name, Zau, identified the culprit as a woman in her 40s who was sitting between two boys. She was in the middle seat, too, everybody. It was just before 2 a.m., we were all asleep. She hurried down the toilet carrying a bag. Passengers initially assumed she was going to vomit, but the strange smell indicated was not the case. That's when I noticed fecal matter splattered on the aisle rug and on the woman's seat. When confronted by angry passengers, she said,

she was feeling unwell. However, they found this explanation bizarre, given the lavatory, was less than 15 feet away and had not been shuttered for landing. She could have just gone to the bathroom as their point. Yeah. I mean, listen, shitting the bed obviously is quite embarrassing. And maybe she was passed out and just, you know, had one slip by the goalie. Whoa, something slipped past the goalie all right.

Yeah. And then that was open, actually. They pulled the goalie. They had to sit in her fucking shit stink. Yeah. For 40 minutes. That's not great. And they turned the AC off for landing.

Why would they do that? That's what that says in the story. Oh. So they're just torturing these people. They're like, we're Air Asia. Go fuck yourselves. Yeah. The next flame, they said they disinfected the area.

They fucking sprayed it once for a breeze. There's still dried poop on that seat. I betcha anything. Frontier feels like virgin airways after hearing about this. All right. Wow. What a story. What a story, Mark.

What a fucked up world we live in, Carl. We have some superchats coming in on Super Chat Monday. We appreciate you folks for supporting us. I want to thank Eb Nye, 5191. It says, unfortunately, all men remember 2017. The year of Admiral Holdos maneuver against the first order. It's true. What is that from?

Is that a Star Wars? Oh, that's right. That's Laura Dern. That's the worst movie ever. Hi, Carl. Congrats on your nephew's bar mitzvah. Thank you, Lolo. Uh, high and tight.

In the morning, gentlemen, I'm very proud of you both. Thank you, high and tight. In the morning to you. Good sir. In the morning, friend. GCD RIP. Um, hi, Vin, you suck lately. Carl is owning you, loser.

Thank you, little, and I know I haven't given you the money back yet. I apologize. I'm working on it. Thank you for that. That was mean. All right. That was mean. Is there anything on Supertip.

That g-g-g-g-crepe? I'm looking. We should address. I'm looking. We got a couple. No, they're all through, uh, okay. Yep. Okay. So Carl, it's time. It's time to announce that I will be on Point DabblePoint on my channel today at 4 p.m. Come over and check that out. We'll be going through more of Senator John's audiobook. And also, I'm excited to say, Shulie and I will be joined by Blind Mike Geary and Ghost of Cabby, my buddy Kelly.

Oh, that would be fun. We stopped by as well, yes. She'd be good. Very cool. That wasn't what I was saying about Carl. Oh, it wasn't. Come on and give that wheel a spin Someone but five win How did you forget I had to spin the wheel? So the pain can now begin And if you're pissed that people vote

Don't whine because you'll be just fine Don't watch your co-host glow That's it folks It is time for me to spend Carl Number one is winner's choice Okay Number two is WMBA game number three is join the Jerry Banfield family.

Wait, you said you're going to Cleveland for a WNBA game? I don't know. What's the name of their team? The cunts. Good answer. To join the Jerry Banfield family, feet picks, sale with profits going to,

is it going to you or is it going to podcast? There will be $0 made if you sell feet picks. Okay. Zero. I'm calling it right now. I don't know. Maybe Bellia is a weirdo. I don't know.

Maybe. I'm guessing zero. Date with the doll. The date with a doll is funny. You have to go out to dinner with a blow-up doll. Yeah. And just sit there and have dinner with her. We're going to go to the nicest McDonald's in town.

Nope. It has to be a sit-down place with a server. It's going to be the nicest apple bees in town. Okay. Coffee with Woke Dad, number six. Number seven is a Trump spray tan, which sounds awful. And number eight is past the spin. So, ladies and gentlemen, I am going to spin out.

Did you ask for the orange Trump look? Is that a thing you can request? I think they have like paint samples. I bring them in from like lows. Like an orange. Can I get this? That's fun. Oh, fuck.

All right, here we go. All right. Vinny's back there. He's spinning the wheel. The wheel of consequences. And it hit three? Join the Barrett. Jared Badfield family.

That's what we were hoping for. That's exciting. Number three. Number three it is. Join the Jerry Banfield family. Jerry just made nine bucks. Oh, is that how much it is now? I thought it was a hundred.

No, it's nine bucks. And, what a sucker. Well, I mean, it's, it's a sucker. Well, I mean, it's it's. It's monthly, though. So you probably want to hang out for a while. Okay. Probably not.

What a sucker. Jerry's going to raise the price right now. He's watching this live. Oh, boy. I guess I'm a proud member of the Jerry Banfield family, everybody. That's amazing. Jerry Banfield.com is where you want to go to sign up for Jerry's school. I will go there today and I will sign up.

Excellent. And with that, you do get a Zoom call with him. And I have to record that, do I? Yes. Am I allowed to say, I have him recording this for air? Yes. I think he shouldn't say that. Okay. He's fine with it. He's an open book, that guy.

Okay. And Jesus Christ. What do I have to talk to him? Okay. I'll figure it out. We'll talk about it. All right. We'll get ideas from people too. We will be back on Friday. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, voicemails. Oh, dude, Carl, you're right. Voice mails, my friend. And you know what? I didn't get anything from Syracuse, so I almost forgot.

Let's start off with one from our pal Ronnie. We don't have a sponsor for this segment? Yeah, I didn't get an email from McBride today. Son of a bitch. Well, Ronnie from Syracuse has been sending me information on the story, and I was waiting for a little bit more to develop before I did it on the show. But he left us a voicemail about it, and he wants to tell us. So here we go. Hey, Ronnie, in Syracuse, I've been waiting and debating if I should call.

I sent you the story by email, Vinnie. But creep report, I guess. The guy that owns and runs the karate dojo that my grand daughter has been going to for nine years, and I've been a student at for almost four years now, was, you know. arrested on federal child pornography charges, possessing CSAM, just an awful, awful story. He's a guy who has been just a pillar of the community. That school opened up in 1990. He's trained hundreds, if not thousands of people,

been a mentor and a leader and all those things. And the guy is just an unbelievable creep. I don't understand, Vinny, you've been around these stories, maybe you know how they work, but I don't understand how somebody's mind works that way. He hasn't been accused of touching anyone, but he's had videos that the Fed's described as very disturbing and they wouldn't even elaborate on them. Well, they usually don't give you the play-by-play. Thank you, fuck you, bye. So, I mean, what's the interesting part?

So there's a real ESO-Dow is what you're saying. I think that is what he's saying. I think we had a super chat that came in. I'm curious since we didn't, we don't have our sponsor. We got to make some money. $20 bucks. Donna G. I love Donna G.

Hey, Donna G. Oh, hey, Carl. Looking good, Vinnie. Looking good, Donna G. Good to see you, my friend. You look like a million bucks. Hey, Carl, you know what? I remembered something I wanted to show you.

Okay. And I'm going to pull this up real quick. This is, I think this is Kelsey Cook, a comedian on a show discussing a certain comedy club, Carl. Okay. This is from the Coastal Idiots podcast. Let me pull this up. While you're doing that, I just want to let you know. Last night, I went to see the no-effects documentary with my buddy Trucker Andy and Joe Sixpack.

The three of us went down and it's fan fucking-tastic. It does not stream. You cannot buy it. You can only see it in theaters. It only shows once per month. And so if you are a fan of no effects or if you're not a fan of no effects and you just like documentaries where the lead singer songwriter gloats about how he's way richer than everyone else in the band while he does drugs in front of them and giving it. give him an intervention. He says, fuck you. It's very fun to watch. Oh, boy. Check it out.

All right. This is all about our favorite comedy clip, Carl. I'll let you guess which one it is. Okay. In the mall. A shooting happens at that mall every month or something crazy. It's like known for this. I had a weekend there and flying there, I'm getting DMs from people like, is the show happening right now? The mall is closed down because of a shooting. You also have had this happen? I wasn't there. It was flying there, but that's, My Friday shows got canceled because of a shooting earlier that day in the mall. God, some guy just doesn't like blonde comedians. Once this, God, I know. It's a dude who looks like me, obviously.

Once this happened, then I looked this mall up. I just Googled it, and it was like shooting, shooting, shooting, like. And so the show was about to start, and the manager came back and was like, so there's an active shooter in the mall. When you hear the words active shooter, you're picturing like Columbine. Yeah. Have you gone on stage yet? No. Show hadn't started yet.

But we're like in the green room. So I start to like tear up. I'm like, well, what do we? He's like, you know, the mall's being evacuated. So I'm like, okay, what's like a safe way out of here? We find out later it was a gang related shooting. It was like one guy. Gosh, I wasn't this like massive shooting everybody thing.

But it's still, there's a shooting happening in the mall. And so the mall's being evacuated and the manager. was like, so do you still want to do the show? Or? And I was like, no. Everybody's leaving. Somebody got killed. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he was like, all right. And then like, went on this. So he was like, wow, you really don't want to do the show. Went on like, like, did voice of God like, hey guys, like Kelsey doesn't want to do it. Like, put on. I was like, oh, what? This. Sorry.

Some people aren't used to this. That guy sucks. Uh, yeah. That guy stinks. Um, you know what's funny? Shane Torres, you don't like Shane Torres? Is that who that was? It was.

The best thing that could happen to you if you make a trip to Syracuse is being shot dead. That's a best case scenario. Yeah. The fact that these people are complaining that there's gunfire in a mall. I know who, I know the manager over there and I can imagine his reaction. Uh, yes, Kelsey doesn't want to do the show, everybody. Oh, someone's afraid about, somebody's afraid of gun violence in Syracuse. Oh, what a puss.

I just thought you would enjoy that. Yes. Any voicemails, Carl? No heckling, no murdering is what they say. Yes, I do have a voicemail. Layed on me. Fucking don't be corny. That gets me ever to.

Okay. Listen to the creep off bonus episode. Tell her job. Always choose a machete. Here's why. Juggaloes are obsessed with hatches and you don't want to be associated with those assholes. Also, if you haven't done creepiest juggalo,

it needs to be done. And if you have, since more than an hour has passed by, chances are there's a million new articles he can go through. Thank you, fuck you. Yeah, the bonus show, we were talking about a story where a guy with a hatchet fought a guy with a machete. And Vinny and I were trying to figure out which weapon we'd want to have in that scenario. I think we both agreed.

Machete. Machete, except for the hatchet, as I mentioned, you could throw that. You can, but with the machete, you can do the stabbing. The machete you could stab from a distance. You could use it away from and then chuck a hatchet. That's true. Split a guy's head open.

But there's also a good chance that I can knock that hatcher down with my machete. Well, there's also a chance that you miss the guy. Now you don't have a weapon and he's got a machete. So that's a problem. I got a better idea. Let's not fight people with weapons for no reason. Good old fashioned rock fight. That's what I say.

Remember rock fights? Dude, those are the best. Do you remember when you used to throw... Do you remember when you would do dirt? Like, you would think it was a clump of dirt. Yeah. And you could throw them, but they would like explode because it was just dirt. And it looked like you were throwing grenades and shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. A couple rocks would sneak by. That's how I got like this. Yep, a couple of your friends had good aim, huh? Sure did. Right in the temple. That's this week's edition of the creep off. Thank you for joining us.

We're going to be back on Friday with a brand new bonus. Don't know what we're doing yet, but hopefully something fun. Usually is. Usually is. Good confidence, Stephen. I got plenty. We don't have a great time. I'm calling my shot.

Be there Friday. We'll be here next Monday. Creepiest juggalo, Carl. I say we do it. That's fun. I'm into that. All right. See you Monday, everybody.

See you Friday. Whatever. I don't know. It's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. Good, yeah. May your enemies be cast in your podcast adventures.