The Creep Off - Episode 44: Kids are Never Fun in a Bar

Episode Date: January 5, 2021

This week Karl in Vinnie head into the wild blue yonder and search for the creepiest airline: Karl still hates Anthony Fauchi: In the Scum Parade we meet a “Fun” Mom, a lumpy dope head and a former Army Colonel doing his best Jim Lahey imitation. If you are feeling charitable here is a link to the GoFundMe we discussed:gofund.me/a4ca75c6

It's the Disgusting Dissing, vomit-inducing thing Ola creepos. Welcome to the show About creeps, buy creeps for you creeps. It's the creep off. I'm your host.

It's your pal. Vinnie Paulino and sitting in the studio adjacent to mine is everyone's least favorite co-host. What is happening, Vinnie Paulino? Good to see you, my friend. I am not happy to see you. I kind of hate your fucking guts and fuck your shirt. Fuck your face. Fuck your grinned. Fuck your schmert. They're dating. Fuck you. Wow. Look at that voting from this week. Could we pull up the

results from that? Now, let's keep in mind. There were four different people people could vote for. Usually there's just two. Okay. So here's what I'm going to tell you. Yeah. We're going to start off and say that Croge did pretty good. Yep. Croix got 29 votes. So he got about 11%. 29 votes is pretty decent for an average week Kevin no it isn't it's terrible for an average week I was trying to get that's a normal Carl score Yeah right that's usually what I get that's why I thought that And Kevin and the guy with the machete tattoo

He got 1.5% of the vote What was that two votes? Like four That was really funny And then I had a woman I just read this headline I thought it was funny So that's what I'm bringing And he did it so briefly

Like if only he could get the review segment To be that brief and concise So it's so good So I brought in a woman who ripped her mother's heart out of her chest It was a pretty good creep It was an Instagram celebrity too as like a influencer Yeah and she ripped her mother's beating heart out of her chest And showed zero remorse in court

Zero remorse in court laughed like the goddamn joker I guess any other creep you would have won And here's Carl Yep This motherfucker brings in a guy that is loved by half of the country despised by the other half loved by idiots with their head in the sand yes he's a guy who's polarizing we could agree there

no the sheep will all love him he's polarizing people hate them or they love them they hate them or they love them is my point so uh carl and dr anthony fouchy got 64 fucking percent of the vote 162 votes i have a different song to play this week Victory laugh What a victory laugh What a convincing to all the shows Then he'll tell you why you go sit back

He's taking a victory laugh What a convincing victory last week I am now up four to one I was more shell-shocked than the dolphin's secondary This week I was fucking sitting around just looking at this score going. This is not a lie. I got multiple texts from video going.

I cannot believe this is happening. I don't know what's going on. And I forgot my kicker. You know what my kicker was supposed to be? Do you know what year Fauci got the job as the director of the NIAid? The year that the AIDS pandemic started? He got it in 1984. Right.

Hmm? Orwell? Huh? I love that you thought, You think this is all still a conspiracy. I'm just coming up with this shit. I thought she actually is a great guy. To fucking God wish you had said that.

It would have cost you some votes. You jackass. Now, listen, that puts you up at four. That gives you four points. Correct. Yeah. Which puts you on GamePoint today. Beautiful.

Beautiful. I'm wearing my cracks today. He is wearing his crocs. Showing the people who are watching the video. Yeah. Thank you for watching on YouTube. We appreciate you. But you have to go first.

And this week we did a poll on Twitter. We haven't done that in a while. And your choices were creepiest Karen, which, by the way, I really hope we get to do that at some point because, boy, did I find a fun one. Oh, okay. And we had creepiest airline passenger and creepiest airline employee. And creepiest airline employee won this week's poll. So that's what we're going to do today. We are going to be flying high into the wild blue yonder.

Carl, ring that fucking bell and pick Bill Gates or whatever the fuck is he's been in an airplane or whatever fucking shit you want to make out. Bill Gates wasn't just on any airplane. He was on Jeffrey Epstein's airplane over 20 times. They're good friends. They were good friends. They were good friends. I'll get me started at that Bill Gates.

No, this week I have a guy named Nick Williams, 25-year-old guy who works for Southwest Airlines. Seems innocent enough. Well, he was arrested while at work in the airport in front of everybody who was waiting to be boarded out of their plane. Passengers watched police arrest 25-year-old Nick Williams. Williams, who works for Southwest Airlines, is under investigation for voyeurism. Under investigation for voyeurism. Can you guess what this is, Vinnie? Is this a peeping time, a looky-loo?

Well, let's just say that because he wants to, works in the airport. There's a lot of temptation around. That's right. The good old Larry Craig taught us that. Yes. Tap tap it under the stalls. Correct.

This is a little bit different, though. And after he was questioned about it, he did admit to being a naughty little boy to the authorities. Steve investigators say that Nick Williams admits that he put that camera in the restroom at C-Tac Airport and that he's done it more than once. He said, I've done it four or five times where I place a camera. in the bathroom at the airport. And that seems pretty bad.

Traveling dumps? He wants to get video people to take. I know. Those are the worst experiences. The bathrooms there are getting brutalized. But it gets worse because there was a specific type of bathroom that he was targeting. Detectives believe he purposely targeted children choosing a bathroom kids might use on their own without noticing a camera. Yeah, it was little boys.

He put the camera in a little puppet that he had just coming over. the stall. Yep. He was looking at little boys. Smile and wave at the puppet. So, you know how when you go to an airport, there's the men's room, there's the women's room, and then in the middle, there's that little like family. The family restroom. Restroom that, you know, I don't even know what's in there, but apparently cameras.

And the reason why, they even said, the cameras were so obvious that only a child wouldn't recognize what was going on in there. So this guy wasn't very good at this, obviously. He had one of those fucking Instagram light rings on it. Yeah. So, um, The problem here is that this 25-year-old, while he works for the airlines and he's taking video of children, peeing and pooping at the airport, he has other things that he does.

Not only does Williams work for Southwest Airlines, he also volunteers at the Chehala Centralia Railroad Museum. He posted this photo on Friday. So I looked at this place. Is there anything creepier than a railroad enthusiast? No. There is not. Fomers are called. They're called what?

Fomers. Fomers. Yeah, so people who are really enthusiastic about railroads. Huh. Yeah, and steam engines and stuff. So, um, I looked up this, uh, this railroad museum's website and found a link to their Facebook. Lots of pictures on there of the type of clientele they get.

I would say no teenagers. Um, lots of, lots of parents. Lots of old grandpas dragging their grandkids there. Mostly five and younger were they. the people who like to go on trains and hang out. They're the only ones the foamers can impress. That was pretty disturbing that that's where this guy is volunteering his time. I actually have exclusive audio.

This guy was on the airplane with a passenger. This was before he was arrested, Benny. And I was able to get this exclusive audio. I've never been up in a plane before. You ever seen a grown man naked? That's very inappropriate. Yeah. Very inappropriate.

conversation starters. Joey, you like movies about gladiators. So after the arrest... Would you like to be in one? After the arrest, according to the Seattle PI, he also confessed to accidentally,

quote unquote, downloading child pornography when asked if other images of children could be found on his phone or computer. So he's like, yeah, you can check my computer. By the way, I think I accidentally downloaded some CP. Just see it in case you find something out there. Get that fuck out of here.

guy yeah so he's a problem so he's i think by definition this guy is a creep so he's putting cameras in bathrooms that's pretty creepy that's pretty creepy seems to seems to really enjoy the young boys yeah that's all you got nick williams he's my creep did he touch anybody hurt any of the kids oh i'm sure but i don't have any evidence of that so that's my creepiest airline employee okay that's that that's it you don't have anything else that's that you sure you try to make it seem like I didn't bring a good argument, but people aren't going to go along with it this time. They realize that this is a creep. This is the definition of a creep.

He's not good, but he is not Michael Carey Clemens. Okay. My creep this week. I like to call him MCC. Okay. He's an Army veteran, and he's a airline pilot. He kind of like semi-retired, and he started working for a regional airline out of Bangkok. Nothing weird ever happens there, right, Carl?

Of course not. Right. So he didn't look at kids in bathrooms, but, uh, After he went part-time, he was living in Bangkok part-time, and then he was based out of Sacramento, right? And he spent a lot of time talking to his business partners in the Philippines. Okay. Okay. Now, he was working with a Filipino associate, a woman named Leanne Tandig.

And her job was to procure young girls for him so he could buy them. Yeah. Not just taking pictures of him. He was buying them. Carl girls though yeah yeah Clemens was particularly

interested in young virgins he preferred kids seven to 11 years old alright that's gross and Clemens instructed Tandig to focus on how many seven to 11 year olds are virgins still

you know that's well over there but here's the thing Carl this is what makes my guy extra creepy yeah it's how particular he is and not just how particular he is but what an intricate

fucking system for fucking scumbaggery this guy came up with. All right, let's hear it. All right. Clemens instructed Tandig to focus on finding girls whose parents would not be around to, quote, pose a problem. Well, yeah, parents are pesky. They always get in the way.

Prosecutors say to locate girls who are, that he tried to have her locate girls who are orphans, victims of typhoons, and otherwise vulnerable children. So this woman was some type of social worker in the Philippines. He sent her $5,000 to buy cameras. and to rent apartments he didn't want to use any hotels he made her rent apartments so that like they didn't have to move stuff constantly is he making a lot of money working for this airline well he was retired at this point he was working in airlines he was got an army pension i don't even know if this counts this is an army guy dude i don't even think this counts for the category that we have my guy got arrested in an airport anyway keep going well so to my guy we're going to get there all right all right so he had this woman basically create a Filipino child Tinder for him. Yeah, right. So she would get these kids. Swipe right. Swipe right. Exactly right. And she would start sending, he would give her very specific instructions. In fact, here's just a little bit of the news about how he would do this. 7-year-old Michael Carey Clemens of Sacramento gave detailed instruction on how young virgin girls should be posed, how their hair and makeup should be styled, and whether their body should be oiled. Clemens knows what he likes. He knows what he likes. I like that. I like that. about him. He likes a little oiled-up Filipino children. He bought her digital cameras

computer equipment and he used it to photograph the victims. Then he would pick. He would swipe right. And then he would fly to the Philippines and then he would fuck said child and come home. Now, was the oil still on the child at this point? How does that work? The child definitely was stained after. How greasy are these kids? These are some greasy, poor greasy children whose lives have already been tragic. They're orphans. Yeah. They're fucking orphans. Their families are dead from typhoons and tsunamis. So they're getting fucked for a second.

By a 57-year-old ex-army guy with probably those old crusty old man hands. Oh, I, listen, I don't want to... This is fucking the worst. I like that you're trying to describe how gross is to get fucked by a 57-year-old man. Like, no, I can picture that. It sounds terrible. I'm with you. He tried to protect his identity in a lot of ways.

He avoided hotels with security cameras. And he spent, quote, incalculable hours. on setting up this system, okay? Yeah. According to prosecutors, Clemens' downfall began in 2014 when investigators detected his activities while he was using a Yahoo.com account.

Okay. Now, I always accuse you and say, don't help these people. Yeah, right. Hey, stupids, if you're using the Yahoo account, you're going to get fucking caught. Yahoo noticed suspicious activity on the account,

and they turned him into the FBI. The FBI started. checking into him. He got on a list with Homeland Security. And when he flew back into San Francisco International Airport in April 2015, federal agents grabbed him. They took his laptop

and his iPad and what do you know? They found a whole bunch of child porn on it. Yeah, this whole thing... He had to have it on his iPad for the flight. Why are you traveling and then taking photos and videos and keeping them on your hard drive? These people are so fucking stupid. They can't wait to get caught. Vinny, I got a question for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You made a statement there that I think

important. What is the right email service to use when you're diddling children? What's the, what's the right one? There isn't one, Carl. There should be none and you shouldn't be diddling children clearly. Well, you said Yahoo was the wrong one. So I'm wondering, is it Hotmail? I'm going to say AOL is a wrong choice. Gmail is a wrong choice. Yahoo is clearly a wrong choice. I think we need to source this. I want to know from the creepy listeners out there, what email is the best email if you want to get away with them. Why do you want to know that? Why don't you explain to me why you want to know that?

And what's the best peer to peer now? Why do you want to know that? Because you made a blanket statement that Yahoo's going to get you busted. I'm just curious. They turn this motherfucker in. Just curious how you know that or what you think would be better. I have no advice to give in this field. All right.

So. Fair enough. You're editorializing a little bit over there. So I just wanted to analyze it a bit. That's all. So they found his iPad and other devices. They discovered child pornography. How long had this been going this thing that he was doing?

A couple of years at this point. All right. I mean, this guy, he knows what he's doing. Yeah. He certainly does. He had a pretty good system going for a while. So really, it's just fucking Yahoo. Now, not for that meddling Yahoo.

You would have been fine. Yahoo. You remember the jingle, very good. Multiple times in May 2015. After he was arrested on these charges, he was released on Bond. Okay. But fucking MCC, Carl, couldn't stop. Could not stop multiple times after being arrested.

He logged back into his Yahoo! who fucking account. That's where all the photos are. New photos are coming in. I'm going to get in there. On an IP address that traced back to his mother's home computer. No, he's not even using a So now he's at his mom's fucking house. She's in her probably her fucking old woman Dell. Yeah, that's the problem with these like guys in their 50s and 60s. They have no idea how to cover their tracks. It's so easy to do. Fucking morad. He got to his mom's house, dude. Yep. To his mothers. He's 57 years old. This has got to be like an 80-something year old. This has got to be like an 80-something-year-old. old woman. He probably bought her the computer. He's buying everybody all the equipment that he needs.

Yeah, but mom never wants to play ball when it comes to the good stuff. It's kind of like how I bring beer to all the different places that I go to, whether it's the office or the practice room or my friend's house, just so it's always there. Like, he's buying all this gear for everybody he knows. So you can just go over there. It's like, oh, sweet. There's CP here. All right, good. God damn. You're so fucked up. So by the time federal, so now they go to his house. they do another search of his house by the time they finished combing through all of his digital devices

from his from his home and his family's home they found 27, 469 images of child pornography but who's counting? God that's a no the FBI was counting the very specific number I know the FBI was absolutely fucking counting how many fucking devices is this guy have

guys how many hard drives of CP do you need it's too much well he was also emailing this woman again and they were talking about how he was still planning more trips to go to the Philippines and that if he was convicted he would be leaving the country

and coming there permanently so he had a plan to escape that's a smart idea right there yeah he probably should have done that instead of going to his fucking mother's house yes correct correct Bangkok would have been a better location than his mother's house

so this guy as opposed to your guy has zero remorse he's got an escape plan your kid gets caught and he's like, I'm sorry. I'm a loser. No, my kid didn't say I'm sorry. He just said there might be some child porn on my computer, but if it is, I didn't. It's an accident.

Happens to the best of us. His trial was interesting too, right? They took him to trial in August of 2018. And the first day, he pleaded guilty to three things. Conspiracy to produce child porn, attempted production of child pornography, and receipt of child pornography. Attempted. His trial, he was still charged with three other account.

And so they flew in kids from the Philippines that this guy fucked. A seven-year-old, a nine-year-old, and a ten-year-old. And they posed and they showed the pictures of these fucking kids posing and all this shit. And they brought them there and testified. Yeah, that seems like a lot of work.

Do we have to really go through and convict these people? Can we just kill them? I'm not. Just lethal injection. I'm not about murder, but I am about, I would seriously consider this. These people don't recover from this addiction that they

have or this affliction. Like just, let's just end. Like, we're flying in kids who are already traumatized. They have to go stand on trial. That just seems insane to me. Shouldn't we be operating false flag operations? Like, what's the FBI doing? They're worried about this guy with

child bored. We got better things to do. I don't, yeah. We got to blow up Nashville. Bill. Oh, my God. Next week's creep. So he got convicted on the three additional counts. He got convicted of these are crimes. Ready?

Attempted travel for illicit sexual conduct. Conspiracy to travel for illicit sexual conduct. And the buying of children. The buying of children charge carried the steepest penalty from he got him 30 years to life. Now, his attorney, his only defense that the attorney had was that this guy rolled on the in the Philippines and said okay it was her okay so that's all he got and his his lawyer was like he should get a lesser sentence because he helped and he helped a lot of kids by telling on her and that was his defense I'm guessing that didn't work real well uh well the prosecutors disagreed

and he was sentenced to life in prison very good that's my creep well I will say this Vinnie, as far... Organized and fucking evil. As far as creeps go, your creep is creepier. But as far as following these rules that we have, I think I did a better job in the spirit of an airline employee. He was arrested in the airport. Yeah, but this guy was arrested while he was working at the airport.

Dude, listen, if you're going to try fucking technicality bullshit, everyone just needs to sit back and think about this. All right. How many times is Carl? What did you bring in for Creepiest Garbage Man, a guy who used a garbage can? They might have just been containers. I don't even think they were garbage cans.

Anyway, I didn't win that week. Everyone thought I was cheating. Please, I'm begging you. I need it this week. I need the votes this week. Come in for your, the people's champ needs you, baby. The creepoff.com. We ask you all to please come and vote.

Do we get any voicemails coming through this week, Minnie? Carl, we got a lot of voicemails this week. Yeah? Beautiful. I'm going to go ahead and let you have this one. You already had your victory lap, but I'm going to let you have this. Because I actually think this guy speaks for a lot of the audience. I just got to say that was pretty well done, Carl.

You know, Vinny, you try to shit on his podcast, being on stuttering John's side and all. Yeah. And for Carl to come into this week, knowing he had the win, knowing he would come out first, and to do his stupid-ass antic of dropping the most stupidest creep but then this time sticking with it, right? Anthony Fauci and honestly delivering a really compelling argument

that Anthony Fauci really is the biggest creep in 2020. Well played, Carl. That was annoying a shit in the beginning, but the compelling argument really got me. I think I'm voting Carl. you and everybody fucking else I got a quick voice now it's in the same type of vein here

now here we go oh god dude I'm listening to the creep off you got call it's like an Anthony Fauci top creep of 20 funny

four minutes in I might just put off the fucking show dude you win that's it he'd want all I had to do is say Fauci for the W that was all it took

Dr. Fauci called in Okay, good This is Dr. Anthony Fauci This is how I talk Carl Fuck you Agreed Thank you Dr. Fauci

You know what's funny Is that Dr. Fauci Probably was Googling A lot of different phone numbers Because he also called into the WATP hotline This is Dr. Fauci calling in Hey there, Kyle This is Dr. Fauci

This is how I talk All right So I've been hearing what you can say about me, you little fuck, all right? So, first of all, it's spreading misinformation, and I'm here to set the record straight on something like you to hear from you first, all right? All right.

Santa Claus is dead, and it had nothing to do with this vaccine, okay? All right, first of all, checking his immunity. I noticed a couple of things were just a little off from Mr. Claus, right? I don't want to say it was drug abuse. I don't want to say it wasn't. healthy lifestyle but uh all right uh let's be honest the vaccine probably gave us what little time we had left of the guy he made it through christmas that's that all right big father had nothing do with it we're trying to save lives here keep everybody nice nice and safe nice and safe

right under the sum of what i tell you to do all right carl you're not an expert i am shut your fucking mouth. All right? Call me back. I'm surprised Fouchi had that much time to leave such a long voicemail because he's not making TV appearances. Uh-huh. Yeah, a little over the little over length on that one. You know, I'm officially fucking triggered by Fauci now.

Not a bad impression, though. That was a pretty good impression. For the wrong reasons. Every time I see that guy now, I'm just going to be fucking enrage. I love it. And it has nothing to do with any goddamn nonsense you were spewing. So... Nonsense.

Yeah, you heard me. All right, Vinny. Just because you said that now I have to play one more clip. I got more voice. All right, we'll get back to that. We've got to talk about Fauci real quick because this gem I just came across. All right, go ahead. This is Kerry Mullis.

This is a biochemist who invented the PCR test. You familiar with the PCR test? No. That's the test that they use to determine whether people have COVID or not. The COVID test. Yes, it's one of the COVID test. He actually won the Nobel Prize in chemistry in 1993 for inventing this test. This is what he had to say in a 1999 interview, he since his past,

in a 1999 interview about Dr. Anthony Fauci, and I'm not making this up. Guys like Fauci get up there and start talking, you know, he didn't know anything really about anything. And I'd say that to his face, nothing. The man thinks you can take a blood sample and stick it in an electron microscope. And if it's got a virus in there, you'll know it. He doesn't understand electron microscopy and he doesn't understand medicine. He should not be in a physician like he's in. Most of those guys up there on the top are just total administrative people and they don't

know anything about what's going on the bottom. You know, those guys have got an agenda, which is not what we would like them to have, being that we pay for them to take care of our health in some way. They've got a personal kind of agenda. They make up their own rules as they go. They change them when they want to, and they smugly like Tony Fountry does not mind going on television in front of the people who pay his salary and lie directly into the camera. That's right, Vinnie. This whole thing where I pretended to be on your show, The Creep-off, was really just a vehicle to start my anti-Fauchy podcast. This is episode number two.

We're just going to talk about Fauci from now on. Can I just say that clip was the worst wrestling promo I've ever heard? Some good fighting words, weren't they? I tell him to his face. Scientist tough talk. Ooh, his face, he told him to his face. He grabbed a folding chair. Fucking shut out.

I'll see on the top of the ladder, Fauci. They're going to put a fucking microscope. out of poll. All right. All right. Let's listen to more voice mails. Okay. So last week, somebody called in and said their friend, got somebody that they knew got

caught with child porn. And then we talked all about it. Do you remember? Yes. Yeah, yeah. That guy called in again because apparently we hit the nail on the head on a couple of of things. Oh, okay.

It's the guy that had a friend who had like 10 different devices, all filled with child porn. I neglected to mention. It's funny that you said. one of them was a Zune player because it literally fucking was a Zoon player. Yeah, and then it's also funny that you say he would have been paranoid

because I've been over his house dozens of times and any time you'd go to touch anything. He said, no, no, I got to go on there first. So what the fuck, man? All right. Thought it was funny. It's you guys.

Yeah, we are funny. We called it. We did call it. And those guys, they're the fucking funny. Like, can I check my email real quick and they just take a bat to their computer before they let you phone get up. One computer chucking out the window. I don't have a computer. Oh, shit. It got too close to the curb. The fence can take it now.

But yeah, holy shit. Love it. And that last voicemail for the week, we're going to have, we're going to talk about this, Carl. All right, you two. Big fan of the show. But what is the constant shitting on Syracuse? Because Rochester, New York is such a beacon of fucking class. call me back well he he kind of alluded to what the answer is when you live in rochester there

aren't a lot of places that are worse so that's why we rip on syracuse i thought it was the poop smell when you drive through syracuse is a i mean honestly i have a lot of friends who are from syracuse and guess what they all move to rochester yeah ask a comic what their favorite funny bone is and uh you see if the syracuse funny bone makes that list i don't know anyone who moves from rochester to syracuse let's put it that way There's not a lot of buffaloonians living in Syracuse, but they do go the other way. I mean, that city just looks like a fucking pair of dirty underwear. It's just gross.

It's really the worst. And the only thing they have going for them is a shopping mall, which no longer means anything. And a university that now sucks at basketball and football. So what the fuck's the point? Well, that fucking shopping mall, too, by the way, let's just say, you have the biggest square footage. Yeah. Neat. Who fucking cares.

We have the biggest square footage ball in America It's really just an indoor amusement park at this point Because they can't sell anything So now it's just roller coasters and shit Which if that's the case I'll just wait till summer They don't even have a roller coaster They have a ropes course

I've never been there before Oh really? Oh it sucks Dude I avoid Syracuse as much as I can That place fucking blows I played the funny bone a little bit It's a all right club I guess That's all I'm going to say about that All right

Vinnie wants to continue to get booked. Well, if anything ever gets booked again. I mean, honest to God, dude. Well, if fucking Fauci's in charge, you'll never play the funny bar. Why are you yelling at me? I didn't do nothing. I know. All right.

So, uh, Carl. Yes, sir. Are you ready for a scum parade or do you have more bullshit you want to play me? Nope. I'm ready for the scum parade. Let's move it on. All right. Hit that.

Because Vinny's a creep. I'm not kidding around They're both a generous psychopaths With no business That a civilized society And they're going to take you on a stumb parade We're going to start in Tampa. Why not?

You know, I heard that one time in Tampa, Florida, Carl had a Cuban sandwich with Dick Masterson. Now... Wait, is this story about Chad Zumach? No, it's not. Oh, okay. Oh, if only. Is he in prison yet?

He is not, no. I feel like... He's still going on Instagram live every day. I get notifications. Do you, are you still pals? Are you in the Zoom? Yep. You and the Z-Man?

Me and the Z-Man are still buns, yeah. That's good. No one cares. This is my favorite story of the week here, Carl. We're going to show a image, and we'll tweet out the image and put it on our Instagram on a little bit. A Columbia man was detained in Barcelona after he reportedly tried to smuggle about $34,000 worth of cocaine under a poorly fitted toupee.

police said the man caught their attention when he arrived out of flight from Bogota and appeared nervous officers had the man remove his wig and found a package stuck to his head with the cocaine Did you see the picture of this guy? I sure did Here you go everybody watching at home Get the reveal here

Wow His story is actually going to be the subject of a new reality show called Locked Up a Boob That's hysterical This guy You know what's really funny about that I'm sure there's a conversation where he's like How the fuck am I going to smuggle all this cocaine

through an airport that goes I don't know, use your head. Neither one of us are getting to the funny mode anytime soon. No, not with this audition. Now with this audition tape. I mean, what is this guy trying to do? Masquerade as a mongloid? What the fuck is the idea here?

I bet he gets away with it though because nobody... No, I bet he doesn't. Nobody wants to call out someone for wearing a bad toupee. I think that he probably has gotten away with it in the past. That's a good idea because he's banking on like the politeness of society. Correct. And TSA, there's not a lot of. of politeness going on there. No, that's a terrible decision. That's a terrible

decision. So, yeah, that's a funny one. That's a good one. They never released the man's name, but he's in a shit ton of trouble. Well, he sees a Colombian man. Yes, he is. Surprise, surprise, with all that cocaine. No English, no English. All right. I have one. I'm sneaking one in on you, Carl. Oh, cool. Tennessee mother was apprehended on New Year's Eve, accused of ditching her child in a vehicle to drink at a bar. Silvy King. Bars are open in Tennessee. Yeah. That's amazing. Good for her. I wish I could have gone and drank at a bar on New Year's Eve. That sounds awesome. There's no curfew. That's great. So this 25 year old was in a bar when a person noticed a one year old inside of her parked car near the establishment.

That kid's probably a buzzkill. That's why she didn't bring him in. Well, listen, you think she's really going to pick up a nice man walking around with her one year old? Well, that doesn't help. Also, that one year old probably is counting the drinks and being obnoxious. about it. Fucking constantly putting baby shark on the jukebox. Yeah, right. Asshole kid. You go in there for a drag and it's like, uh,

no, no, I said a gin and tonic. No, I said, I'm sorry. A what? I said, all right,

just whatever you have. Okay, okay. I mean, this girl is getting very, very drunk. The person proceeded to break the window, took the child out of the car,

called the police. The police show up at the bar. They alert security to call for the owner of the car. Is smashing the window the best way to get a one-year-old out of a car? We've learned. Can't you just jack the lock or something? Just smashing a window with a baby inside?

I say fucking smash all our goddamn windows. This is the dummy. Smash all over a goddamn window, slash your fucking tires for all I fucking care. The kid was fine, but did lose an eyeball. Uh, little Tucker. That's what I'm naming this kid. He's from Tennessee. Okay.

Little Tucker. The affidavit said the police alerted ball bar security. King eventually went towards the officers. It was described as acting arraight and belligerent. So she's one of those who, my kid was trying to sleep and you woke him up and whatever the fuck argument she has. She has a drinking problem.

You would, yeah, yeah. They said she also smelled strongly of alcohol. It was New Year's Eve. What is she supposed to do? Be sober on New Year's Eve? I mean, maybe her babysitter was at the bar and she was just meeting them. very possible yeah so she's charged with disorderly conduct child neglect and public intoxication

nice well she wouldn't have been in public if they hadn't dragged her out of there let me ask you a question what's a safer place for your kid would you say it's in your car in the bar parking lot or in the airport bathroom it depends on how many photos you want taken of your check out all i know is the answer is not the philippines yeah right now carl this is a fun one a north dakota man threatened to kill a former co-worker and then kicked in the victim's front door after he failed to accept a Facebook friend request. What a boomer, right? You guys are on fucking Facebook still.

Police alleged that Caleb Berwick 29 sent a series of threatening text and Facebook messages to Robert Allen Thomas, a 39-year-old former coworker. Berzik worked with Thomas and Thomas' brother-in-law for a company that maintains oil and gas well. But after Thomas and his relative left to work for another place, Berzik was laid off and remained unemployed. As detailed in a probable cause affidavit, Berzik started sending aggressive Facebook messages to Thomas,

one of which warned, accept my friend request or I'm going to murder you. I don't think this has anything to do with being friends on Facebook, Vinny. I think there's more to it than that. Yeah, yeah. A December 26 message to Thomas, Berzik wrote that he would come at Thomas if he failed to accept his friend request.

Investigators charged subsequently, Berzik traveled to Thomas' home where several other family members live and kicked in the front door before entering the residence. The affidavit does not indicate what Berwick did once inside the property, but he was arrested after Thomas' father called 911 to report a burglary in progress. So are they Facebook friends now? What happened? I don't think this guy has just got released yesterday, so maybe he did accept it.

I think he needs to read that Dale Carnegie book, how to win friends and influence people. I don't think he's going about it the right way. This is not the methodology in which to do that. Yeah. You don't threaten people to be your friend. He pled not guilty to two charges of burglary and terrorizing. You're being charged with terrorizing. That's pretty good.

That's a funny thing to be charged up. Do you know that Triple H's original name was Terra Rising? That's terrible. He was smart to change it. Correct. He was. Hunter Hearst-Helmsley isn't much better. But Bersig pled.

not guilty. Like I said, he's scheduled for an April 20th pre-trial. Now, Carl, we talked a lot about terrible things that happened to kids today, didn't we? We did. We do every week, I feel like. Well, this week was particularly pedo-heavy. Sorry, everybody. A traffic stop about an hour east of the Florida-Alabama border Wednesday. Is that a name of a band, Florida-Alabama border? That should be, yeah. They're playing the gravies, I heard. Yeah, I mean, they got a country twang, but a good rock and feel to it, too. I like it. That's good. female lead singer, very empowering. Overweight female lead singer in that band.

She looks like me. She's quite lovely. The Florida Department of Law Enforcement, 39-year-old Frank Moreno, said 39-year-old Frank Moreno of Odessa, Texas, and 29-year-old Jackson Perez Godineez of Guatemala, each faced two charges of engaging in human fucking trafficking for labor or servitude on a child under 18 years of age and smuggling an illegal individual. individual into the state. When Santa Rosa County Sheriff's Office deputies stopped Moreno on Interstate 10 to discuss a moving vehicle violation, the deputy spotted signs that they were basically hiding something in the truck, and they found two young Guatemalan boys who had smuggled into the country through Mexico. Isn't that adorable? And investigators believe the boys were trafficked in the United States for forced labor. According to the victims, their families

each paid more than $1,000 to be smuggled into America. And each teen was told they had to work to pay off additional travel debt. How big of a shithole is the country of Guatemala? The parents thought it would be a better life for their kids to be slaves in America than to live in Guatemala.

That's how big of a shit. Guys, you guys got to get your shit together. You think this is a U.S. problem. This is a fucking Guatemala problem. What are you doing down there? How much do you know about Guatemala? Me, not a goddamn thing. All right. So this is no joke. I googled Guatemala. Okay.

So I'm like, how bad is that? Okay. This is so funny. You know how like, so after the wiki entry, you know how Google put that little box people also ask? The first two questions, I'm not even joking. Okay. The first two questions are, is it dangerous to travel to Guatemala? And then I think I can guess what the answer is because the question under that is, why is Guatemala so dangerous?

Okay. If you had to rate Guatemala on a scale of Gary Indiana's, would you say it's like two Gary Indiana's? It's like a gare and a half. A gare and a half? Okay. Wow, that's terrible. Under the, is it dangerous to travel to Guatemala? The answer is violent crimes such as armed robbery and murder is common.

Gay activities just as extortioned, violent street crime, and narcotics trafficking is widespread. Uh-huh. This fucking place sucks. You'd rather live in Florida as a slave than to be in Guatemala. You're going to be a houseboy in a fucking trailer. Yes. Terrible. Go live the life that we'll never be able to live.

Well, go be a slave. Both men are now sitting in the Santa Rosa County Jail, each with a bond of $1.1 million. Yeah, it's not going to work out well for them. I've heard the human trafficking is frowned upon. I've heard that, too. Yeah. Our final creep this week, this guy is a real fucking view. This is a hell of a story, wasn't it?

Yeah, this is something else. I don't know if this guy had a good end game in mind. Nope. I don't think so. I don't know how this is going to end well. This man is no Tony Stark. No. Army Colonel Owen G. Ray, a former commander of First Special Forces,

group Airborne has been ordered to reappear at court next week with his attorney to face charges ranging from kidnapping and assault to threatening police with a firearm. Ray's 16-year-old daughter called 911 around midnight to report that her father, who was armed with a shotgun and two pistols, was in a room with her mother and two younger siblings and that she believed her father would kill her if he discovered she called 911. According to a probable cause affidavit from the case, dispatch could hear the kids screaming inside. The incident started with an argument between Ray and his wife,

Kristen, who believed that her husband was drunk. Yeah. So, have you been drinking is how this all started everybody. Bad question to ask. What you should have said is, I'm going to go to bed now. You have a great night. Correct. Correct. That would have solved a lot of problems.

You know what the question should be? Do you need anything? Yeah, would you like another drink? Can I mix you up a cocktail, hon? Is what she should have said. you want another one baby i'm just going to wait i'm going to go to bed now yep and everything would have been fine christian i'm gonna i'm gonna go to sleep under the kid's bed where i'll be hiding from you uh she was frightened enough to retreat her 10 year old and her seven year old children's to their bedroom to hide according to the affidavit yeah christin then heard her husband

say quote let's do this the document states and describes how ray Then put out his boots and went out to the garage where the guns were stored. Oh, shit. The fucking green beret colonel. Here he comes. When Ray returned and found his wife and showed him, he began shouting and swinging the gun around. Kristen threatened to call the police and then did call the police, at which point the defendant became enraged. He pointed the gun at Kristen.

He threatened to kill her. He then proceeded to kick her over and over again with his boots on in the face and chest in front of her two kids who were screaming, don't kill mom, don't shoot us. Can I point something out here? These are the people who represent the United States of America. And I'm proud to be an American. In the Middle East, this guy was stationed in Afghanistan for many, many years. This is the experience that people in Afghanistan have with Americans. And you'd think having troops over there makes us safer?

Can I make a joke about how maybe he just brought culture back over here? Possibly. When law enforcement arrived shortly after midnight, the defendant, his wife and three children were still in the house. They said that Ray could be heard saying the law enforcement had surrounded the house. So what choice did he have now? And you're going to force me to kill myself. By the way, I'd be the world's worst hostage negotiator. I'd be good.

One less thing I have to do. Like, who gives a shit? Kill yourself. You suck. Listen, jump. I don't care. I'm not on the fucking clean-up crew. Do I look like I have a mop in my fucking hand?

Go ahead and jump. Kristen's ass that you use the bathroom downstairs to kill yourself. Could you do it? Could you just do it in the shower? Please, in the shower, close the curtains. Thank you. Okay. Really appreciate it.

Ray also told law enforcement that he was veteran and spent most of his time in the first special forces group. He also said he told them he would not leave the house alive and then if anyone tried to arrest him, he would kill them. So Ray eventually allowed his wife and two children to leave the house, followed by his 16-year-old daughter shortly after. See, this is what I mean by this guy wasn't thinking clearly. Now, he's just given up any leverage that he has. so he has no hostages anymore and he's like if you try to arrest me I will kill you

do you think they're just going to go away like well I'm not going to arrest that guy all right have a great night talk to you later then he says I had killed a lot of people and I have no problem killing law enforcement

if they make any attempts to arrest him now according to the affidavit I believe those are lyrics from an ice cube song if I'm not mistaken this guy during the standoff ray walked out under his balcony

and held a pistol to the side of his head and he eventually surrendered, right Carl? He did. So what a pussy. I don't like... I think he sobered up. I think after Kristen stopped making cocktails, he realized, this is really dumb what I'm doing. Yeah. I threatened to murder

my family. Well, I'm just going to say everything about this is just pussy shit. You're beating up your woman, number one. Yeah. Number two... You put on boots to kick your wife. I mean, come on. Do a bare foot like a man. Oh, your tutsie's going to get hurt? Your little tutsies. You steel toe boots

to have a wife, you push. Carl would need to, because he's got his club feet Carl's gonna put his crocs on and fucking go get some work to look at those little tiny feet of ears go fuck yourself oh you have a little tiny feet go fuck yourself why are you so defending about your

mangled feet I don't know why my mangled feet Casey's like I have better feet than that we wouldn't know it so this guy fuck him Now, before we go, we got to talk about this one other thing. Apparently, you sent me an email this week, Carl.

I did. I didn't even read it myself. I just realized I didn't do my homework. I have no idea what this is. Really? For real. You don't know what this is about? I forgot to read it.

I just forwarded it to you because the guy said we should talk about it on the creep off. So there's a guy named Dustin Jackson, who was apparently good friends with your pal, not really good friends, but a big fan of your pal, Dick Masterson. Okay. And I've been following this story. This was something that was going to possibly be in the scum parade right after Christmas. So like last week's episode. And it didn't make it.

And the reason it didn't make it is because there's no details yet, other than something really fucking bad happened. Can you explain what happened? Yeah. The bodies of two women and three little girls were found at a residence in Arkansas on Christmas Day. The five dead bodies were found inside the house. The sheriff's office said two adult woman, three juvenile girls, reigns in age from eight to 50 years old. were the ages of everybody there they believed that they were

all related and they were all I believe shot to death. They said guns were involved. No flamethrowers this time? No flame throwers this time. Nobody knows what happened. But apparently the father of one of the little girls is a big dick show fan and there's a go fund me

to help. The father of one of the girls who was killed? Yeah, as a dick show fan. I thought there was once removed from that. That was a friend of okay, that's terrible. I guess the guy's name is Dustin Countryman and Brittany Anderson is his wife or girlfriend is the girl's mom but they're raising money for the funeral. If it's a fellow dickhead

then yes we should definitely help him out. I will tweet out the link to the GoFundMe if you guys want to be cool and throw a couple bucks towards us. I mean we're not complete fucking monsters over here. Do not put anonymous. Make sure you put the creep off in the GoFundMe. Yes. We want them to know where it came from because we're assholes like that. We're not

classy. It's hard to transition from laughing about horrific events to actually feeling bad for somebody. This was a miscalculation on our part. Yeah, what a terrible way to end the show. Whoops. But thanks for doing that, Vinny. I do appreciate the dickheads stick together.

Yeah, so you dickheads, there you go. That's for you. Don't forget to go to the creepoff.com and vote this week. Vote for MCC, baby. And we will be back next week with an all new episode. We have a special guest next week planned. We do. You know about this.

I do. You do. Sweet. We're going to be recording a little later than normal next week. So just a heads up to everybody. Oh, that's special guest. Yes. Yes. Because he's busy driving a truck. That's right. He's going to be out busy driving a truck. And he's all, he was all butt hurt on the episode that I just did with you for WATP, the Patreon episode. Yeah. By the way, speaking of WATP, is there anyone more pissed off than I am that the bill's got the one o'clock Saturday game? It's really going to fuck up my schedule this week. I don't care. But the people who enjoy... I don't care. I don't care. Go fuck yourself, your show, the Buffalo Bills. I hope that Philip Rivers fucking slices Josh Allen's throat on the field.

Oh, I know. With a plea. Judge, I was real afraid of Philip and River. I can't hear you. I'm happy go lucky. Women call me plucky. I don't care. I don't care.

Tell me more about the bills, Carl. So anyway, we're going to have to research. schedule a regular time for reporting WTP this weekend. And the NFL's really fucking me up. You're going to do that one late. We're doing the creep off late next week. Andy will be here with us. Sweet.

And we're going to be doing, should we tell everybody the category we chose? Remind me. It's a creepiest porn star. Oh, there's your teaser for next week. And I'm trying to get a very special guest on the show to tell us about my choice for creepiest porn star.

Stay tuned for that. That's a little teaser. And we will be back. next week. If you want to follow us on Instagram, please do. I'm going to put the picture of the cocaine toupee guy on there at CreepoffPod. Don't forget to follow us on Twitter as well.

Voice mails 585-371-80108. You can email us anytime the creep-off pod at gemel.com. Until then, it's nice to be important. But it's more important to be nice. Gagia! Let's get the fuck out of here. Dude, I don't know if you heard WATP this week yet, but

stuttering John. We would be suing anyone who says anything about him on the internet. So. Lies about him, right? Lies about him, right, which is why I said he smells terrible. Well, I think he's a nice guy. Oh, oh. I think he's a nice guy.

And he's my pal. What can I say? My buddy stuttering J. I think his hair line is receding. You can see stink lines coming off him from his YouTube videos. And his apartment is disgusting. I mean, this guy was a real jerk.