The Creep Off - Episode 50: Slurp Slurp the Ewok

Episode Date: February 16, 2021

This week the Despicable Duo submit their nominations for creepiest furry: In the Scum Parade we meet a man standing up for his rights, an NFL ready Mom and finally we learn an important lesson just be nice…your life may depend on it

Hey, Carl. Hey, Vinny. This is episode 50. Almost a full year. Yeah. Look at us. Look at us. Go.

I think we will make it to episode 77. I think so, too. All right. It's the Creepoff. Disgusting, vomit-inducing thing. Ola! Creepos, welcome to the show about creeps by creeps. For you, creeps.

My name is Vinny, and this is my co-host. Hot Cuck-Ca-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-A. What is happening in Vinnie-Bolino? How you doing, Buck. I don't even know anymore. I want to say this right out of the gate. So Vinny and I had a meeting. Obviously, he's been trying to take the show in a different direction.

So Vinny and I got together, and we talked about it. We've decided that we're going to make this show longer form, true crime that really just gets into the facts. And, you know, less of the comedy, less of the fun. Vinny obviously really wants to just do deep dives. He wants to spend nine hours researching these cases. So that's what we're going to do from here on. right Benny? I want us to be respectable Carl. I think people would respond to it

better. No, shut the fuck up. What are they been doing the last couple of weeks? What is going out of the day? Way less research. Way less research this week. You know what? I put all my research and time into The Bachelor. Good. I'm actually saving the show with my consequence.

How's The Bachelor doing? Fucked if I know. You aren't watching it? Eh. I just started watching it. Vinny, I listened to episode one of creeps and roses my consequence podcast your consequence podcast because you have to review the bachelor you did an entire episode without having watched a single episode of the bachelor yet that's so cheating

i don't even count that episode well hold on a second i'm doing this podcast about the bachelor and that was me learning about the bachelor from pj that that doesn't count certainly does it was a podcast how the show works was it a podcast about the bachelor can anyone argue that guys Let us know what you think. If Vinny, you have to do five more episodes. You know what? Keep your opinions to yourself. Yeah, okay.

And tune into episode two of Creeps and Roses, where I keep my opinions out loud about episodes one through three of season 25 of The Bachelor with this year's Bachelor, Matt James, the most boring fuck I've ever seen of my life. You're really angry about this, aren't you? Carl, I watched three episodes of it on Valentine's Day. These are not short episodes, are they? an hour 25 each and here was the problem

Hulu took the first episode off so I had to watch them on demand through cable. Oh, he had to pay for it? No, no. It's included in my package but the thing is you can't fast forward through the fucking commercials and there's a commercial every four goddamn minutes

and I forgot how much I hate television. Prime time television I haven't watched it in years. Carl every other minute it's like a three or four commercial spot. Then it's back to, I don't know if I could be my true authentic self with him or not.

I am so glad you have to do this. It was mind fucking numbing. This is making me very happy. So I knew you'd be happy. I just did an episode to get a feel for PJ, have a little bit of fun. You know, see it out. It's fine.

I listened to it. It was fine. It was the best show ever. I'm looking forward to your actual analysis of the show though. Now that you're watching it and you're You're probably taking notes. I have copious notes. All right, good. Copious.

I actually sat down with my computer open as I watched the show typing things like this fucking cunt. This one with the teeth. Like some real deep analysis. I didn't understand. PJ was saying that they're a bunch of sevens and then there's like one chick who's a 10. Is that true? I thought they're all pretty hot. I don't know what they're going to.

I will tell you who is right about the five. Oh, there is a five. Oh, there is a five. There is definitely a five. She's just in the middle looking like a thumb. Just like, get to the rest of them. But I will tell you this, here's a tease. If you don't give her the rose and it looks like you're shallow,

so they kind of like trick you into keeping the five around for a while. I can't talk about that on the show. I cannot talk about this on this show. I cannot cross these streams. Let's move on. We got to talk about the voting from last week when we had our. Never mind. Back to the bachelor.

Our creepiest 21st century world. leader. And what did the vote turn out to be? Brian was in there. Brian McBride. Well, here's the voting. It looks like Carl has 62%. Goddamn tree trunk of a man, Brian McBride.

The charisma of a fucking log. Got 25% on me. It was great. What did you? get 14% with Edie Amin? 13 and a half. 13 and a half percent. Brutal, very. Brutal showing two weeks in a row, so now we're tied up two to two in this round.

And our guest has one win on us this round. So I don't feel good about this. I decided that for the options for this week's creep, we should do something romantic to celebrate Valentine's Day weekend. So your options this week were creepiest voyeur, creepiest cuckold, a creepiest furry, and Carl, Creepiest Furry ran away with it. Nice. I didn't vote, but that's what I would have voted for. Furries are fascinating. You know what? Are they, though?

Do they need to be examined? We know what they're doing. Like, they all have their big stupid mascot characters with the zippers in the right places. Yeah. And they just fuck each other. And they're all grease balls underneath those costumes. We should have another meeting that talks about trying to keep people engaged in the show. Hey, today we're going to talk about furries.

Furies are stupid. No one should even talk about now. Vinnie, we're trying to, like, keep people. I didn't vote for it. Don't tell me what to do. Want people to linger longer. Linger longer. All right.

So, furries, they're great. Furies, exciting topic. Let's get into it, shall we? Since I won, I will go first. My furry is a man named Danger Doberman, formerly known as Wild Wolf, real name Brandon, Vong Thump, born October 18th, 1988 in Phoenix, Arizona.

That is a terrible name. You have to have a speech impediment to say it properly. What was his name? His real name is Brandon Vongthong Thip. Let's just go with Danger Doberman, all right? Just for make it easy. Danger Doberman is his furry name. D.D.

So Danger Doberman is an artist, and he's one of these guys who draws beastiality porn. Okay. He's done thousands of pieces that he puts up on the internet. And, you know, it's your routine, guys fucking dogs, dogs fucking girls, that kind of thing. Yeah. Right? So you're probably thinking someone who's into that sort of thing, there might be some issues going on. Well, in 2009, Danger Doberman was arrested for 200 accounts of sexual assault of an animal and 200 counts of aggravated animal abuse after photos of him engaging in sexual acts with his pit bull reported to the Oregon.

humane society. They were just modeling for his art. They could have been. Yeah. I mean, you got to take the photo and then you sketch over it. Like, wow, it looks really realistic. So he's a furry. He dresses up as Danger Doberman. Yep. And he was fucking a dog. He admitted... Are you telling me that his name was actually awarded? Yes. Danger. Danger Doberman. Danger. Okay. He admitted to sexually abusing his dog over 400 times in a five-year period. So they like had a relationship. It was his dog. Man's best friend. This is a relationship

that they were having. The charges were later reduced to a total of six Even though he fucked this dog 400 times They reduced it to six He was sentenced to a year in jail A $500 fine, whoa Five years of probation And mandatory sex offender treatment

In addition to being barred From owning animals during the treatment Or having contact with Rocky, the dog that he had abused So that relationship I just want my dog back, your honor I love him So fast forward to 2016 Okay, so hold on

he only got a fine for this he's not allowed to have animals and a year in jail and a year in jail and five years of probation for fucking his own dog 200 times all of this time he was still drawing

bestiality porn and posting it online okay so he's still into that there's this website he seems delightful there's this website called E621 are you familiar with this no yeah I wasn't either but you can you can peruse that

for all of this bestiality porn What was it again? We'll talk about it afterwards. All right, Vidya, I don't want you to get you too worked up while we're doing the show. Fast forward to 2016. And now Danger Doberman's hanging out with his buddy Shane Tebow, aka Pokey Pony. So it's two furries now that are hanging out.

And they're both in Phoenix, Arizona, decided to go for a drive down state route 87 when they realized the car behind them is being driven by a drunk driver. The person's swerving behind them. So what they decide to do, because they're heroes, is drive this person off the road into a ditch. Oh, no. So the guy who's drunk drives off into a ditch, they drive off into the ditch too because this guy wants to try to get out of it and keep driving. So the pokey pony guy gets out of the car, he has a gun, and he tries to get the keys from the drunk driver.

Now, I don't know if you know this about drunk drivers, they have places to go. There's a reason why you're driving drugs. You've got to be somewhere, right? You're not there to just hang out. I just want to sleep in my old bed tonight. Yes, right. So basically, he's trying to get the key from the guy. The guy is resisting it.

So what this pokey pony guy does is shoots into the car, like into the engine to try to stop it from going forward. Doesn't work. This guy gets back behind the wheel, starts driving back onto the road. So our buddy Danger Doberman decides, I'll just have to shoot this. guy dead then and he pulls out his gun and shoots the guy right in the chest the guy who they're trying to stop from driving drunk i would say like definitely murdering somebody is worse than

potentially having a drug driver so listen man i'm just going to go ahead and not try to be the devil's advocate here but so far the only thing this man has been guilty of is loving his dog too much yep and cleaning up the streets so far yep that's correct danger doberman should be on the logo for mad. Maybe. Maybe he will be someday. So, man magazine. The guy who he shot in the chest did not die. He was rushed to the hospital. He did survive that. But Danger Doberman was booked on attempted second degree homicide, aggravated assault, disorderly conduct with a weapon and disorderly conduct. But he only spent 75 days in prison for that. Well, the other guy was drunk. And then he was let go.

after his release from prison for the shooting incident danger doberman posted that he had undergone a spiritual revelation he also announced that he would no longer be drawing pornography and he would be deleting all such material from his galleries he found jesus except for he never did any of that he immediately kept drawing pornography and posting it and totally went back on the whole like oh i'm a different person now like he probably went to the doctor and got a bad test result and they were like

call me on Monday. And this is Friday night. And he was just like, Lord, I'll stop. Right. And then they're like, oh, it was nothing. Oh, okay, great. Go back to fucking dogs now. Where in my fucking sketchpad go? So, there was a third arrest here.

More recently. Uh-huh. He was arrested in Arizona on a nationwide warrant issued by the state of Oregon for parole violations relating to a previous conviction. And he was extradited to Oregon where he was sentenced to two years in prison. He's also facing a possibility of an additional 10 years in jail in Arizona.

That trial is yet to happen. We will keep an eye on it here at The Creepoff. No, we won't. That is my furry creep of the week. It's Danger Doberman, the dog fucker. Wow. That's it. That's my presentation.

Loved his dog too much. Passionate about keeping the streets safe. All right. Well, let it be said. Artists. Vinnie appreciates people who fuck dogs. Vinny thinks that's a good thing by creeps for creeps

do we mention that this episode? I didn't say that at all but I want you to meet my creeps this week Carl please feast your eyes on the screen for those of you are watching live on YouTube I'm going to show you some pictures today but I'll be describing them for our listening audience I would like you to meet

Vex a vivacious fox and Jack's a sexy stray dog they're a furry couple but underneath those personas Carl they are a couple of fucking creas No, you don't say What are the chances?

The real names are Tanya Vincent Dillard. Here's pictures. Yeah, it's always what you'd think it would be. Very unattractive people hiding underneath those costumes. And Jacob Berkovitz. Yeah, there they are. Now, Tanya...

Have these people ever seen a shower? No, they are grease bags. And I assume that's because of like how hot it is under the suits. Yes. Don't ever buy a used furry suit. It's always best. That's a smart. It's always best to pay for a custom job, get it done, right?

Don't they kind of all look the same, though, all these furries? They're all fucking losers. I don't care. You're not losers. You know, one thing that I can say about myself is I'm not a judgmental person. You on the other hand, Vinny. That really was wrong of me. I think you should all keep it up.

Keep it up. Now, where to start here? Now, Vex is a little similar to your crepe because she is also an artist and she commissions dirty pictures of cartoons fucking each other for $40 a pop. So you could send her. This is a big thing, by the way, in this community where these artists will actually get hired to do specific pieces. And they can go for a lot of money, thousands of dollars in some case.

I have some examples of her art here for the screen. They had a little business called At Lockjaw Arts. Okay. So you would say, hey, my fursona is this. And then you would draw a fucking dirty picture. It's not that great, to be honest with you. It's not that great. I couldn't do it, but I've seen better.

It's not that great. But if you look at this one in the middle, this is a picture of like an old guy and a little tiny kid. Yeah. There's a lot of that weirdness going on with furries. In fact, I've heard that one of the reasons why they're into the furry thing is because you can't see how young people are. Yeah.

There was a, I mean, listen, when I had to pick a creep, it was shooting fish in a fucking barrel. Yeah. Because there's a ton of them. Right. And there was one ring where they had,

apparently they accused the guy, this is a different creep. This is not my creep, but just side note, where they brought a nine-year-old. to these fucking orgies and dressed them up as Tony the Tiger and passed him around. Like, are you, yeah. Ugh.

Yeah, exactly. Back to this lovely artwork. I'd rather fuck snap crackle and pop. Yeah, you would. They have weaners. Now, narcissistic cannibal. Well, so does Tony the... At Lockjaw Arts.

Jesus Christ. Here's the tweet. Not a new sketch, but I just wanted to make a little appreciation post for Jacks, who keeps me going every day. It's like we were actually made for each other. We practically communicate talapal. pathically. And often we do. Sure. And our communication is

incredible. He is my fallen angel. Here's some more of their art. Just proving that there's a lot of pedophilia kind of involved in this, it looks like. And this is my opinion. Look at this one. It's like he's helping the little girl with their schoolwork. And then there's a duck holding a bong where his dick's supposed to be. And I think

like a skunk dinosaur. A skunk dinosaur, yeah. Yeah, skunk of the bong of the dicky duck. I think it says, Dave. That duck has weird feet. It's like the feet of a wolf. Yeah. I don't think this artist knows what the fuck they're doing.

I don't think they know what animals are, Carl. Yeah, right? Have you ever seen an actual animal before? Yeah. Look up the window. So not only were they commissioning these furry artwork. Like, you could tell them what your furry is, whatever she would draw a thing for you. They also made some very realistic furry suits.

And we'll talk about that in just a minute. But they seem to be on track. They were looking to move to a bigger place to do more suit commissions and the only other thing that they really talked about on their social media

apart from their business But let me guess, was it? Ain't only raping children No, no, okay They talked about their pet dog Oh boy Where's Castile? There's Castile

Okay, Castile is a little German Shepherd blue healer mix Very cute pup Yeah, very cute little puppy Kind of reminds me A nice little Sammy at home That's what their social media presence was until February of last year, Carl.

Okay. And in February, they posted all of these online. Here's some examples. Can we find one instance where social media leads to something good that happens? Nope. Okay. It says, I'm sorry. Vex is in the hospital, and we are so sorry for lack of communication due to depression

and other factors. We will make sure that everybody is financially taken care of. However, I can't say we're going to continue making suits. Thank you for understanding. Whoa, okay. It seems like an overreaction. Here's some more. We have zero intentions of screwing anybody over.

I don't know the extent of our queue. Please direct messages to me so I can make arrangements to settle up with anybody we owe money to. Wow. So it seems like they're trying to do the right thing. Yeah. Thank you so much for your messages and comments of understanding support. I just spoke to Vex on the phone. And it did significantly help knowing that people understand the main reason he's not been online.

Uh, and was all of you people worrying about his struggle. So basically, wait, wait, wait, Vex is the dog. No, Vex is, uh, yeah, Vex is the fox girl. dude because vex is trans oh okay vex is tanya vincent oh i why did you introduce the the puppy i'm so i just introduced i just wanted you to meet castile their puppy oh castile's the puppy yeah castile is the puppy jacks is his furry name vex is her furry name apparently vex tried to commit suicide okay so they said we're going dark and all these people were paid them a lot of money for these suits. They were like taking $2,000 deposits on them.

Sure. So now, is there anybody creepier than someone who's part of a group that just rips everybody off for their money and disappears? Yes, there is creepier people than that. I was going to say, Suttering John, I mean, that's pretty creepy. Yep, yep, yep. Jim Norton. No, I'm just kidding. I love you, Norton. March 29th, a few short weeks later, they are arrested, Carl, because during that time from when they went dark, they were planning something very, very different than making suits and doing art. Oh, yeah, were they having a coup on the Capitol?

Metro police say 24-year-old Jacob and 27-year-old Tanya were jailed on suspicion of murder with a deadly weapon. Murder with a deadly weapon. You would suck to murder someone with a weapon that's not deadly. A conspiracy to commit murder, robbery with a deadly weapon, and conspiracy to commit robbery.

Now, according to the police... So, wait, they didn't do anything. They're arrested because they thought they might do something? No, they did something. This is minority report? They did something. Pre-crime? What they did, Carl, is horrific.

But here's how they got caught. Just hang on. Trust me. Let go with this, okay? The Las Vegas Metro Police told the news ate now in Vegas that a tip led to the arrest of the couple that committed murder at a house in the northeast part of the valley. Police were tipped off about a body by a friend of the female suspect, Vex, okay? The woman.

Vex friend's friend tipped off the cops. The friend's name is Paige Ferguson. The source alleges that Dillard, who identified as a male, was like, quote, a brother to me, Dillard's friend claimed. Vincent had confessed to me and even showed me photos of the victim. He continued, Vincent was her male name, and she was, this page lady was very, very angry with the police and all the reporters for calling her Tanya in the papers. She's Vincent, Carl. Okay.

Okay. Yep. Creepiest trans, creepiest furry. Okay. That's two. I'm just throwing that out there. Paige showed the police that Dillard sent photos of the body and bragged to her friend about how fun it was to kill him. The friend claimed Dillard contacted her and said she and Berkowitz had killed and skinned their dog.

Oh! And planned to use it in a new suit. So Little Castile, they murdered the dog and fucking skinned it and they were going to use it in their new furry sex suit. When Paige said, oh my God, that's horrible, Dillard responded with this. well if you think that's strange I'm sitting next to a dead body page alleges that Vex had been hanging out with the body

in the victim's house for about 10 hours she got bored and called and expressed that she planned on and I quote putting the body in the refrigerator and then stealing the victim's car she explained that the opportunity was quote handed to her on a silver platter and that she is now quote officially

a psychopath. He told me not to tell anybody unless I saw him on the police and then I was supposed to tell everybody. Yeah. Wants attention, Carl. We're talking major attention seeking. Not the right type of attention, too, I would say. Now, this friend was so disgusted and freaked out.

She immediately went to the police department. Some friend she is. Oh, not a good friend. A little tattletail. Immediately head out to the couple's residence where the two were observed leaving in the victims F-150 pickup truck okay

Berkowitz, Jacks, once the cops went up to the car and said freeze the first thing he said was the bodies

of the bathroom the first thing this fucking pussy did fucking Jacks the big brave pup the suspects were interviewed and both confessed

now here's what they said I got to tell you this is a fucking these two idiots fucked up this murder Carl all right let's get to it. Dillard stated that her and Berkovitz had pre-planned the murder.

Dillard added that it was premeditated. They went onto a dating app. That dating app, Carl, Craigslist, for the purpose of luring a victim. They added that the plan was to utilize sex as a tool to entice the unknown victim, then kill him, then take their vehicle

so that Berkowitz and Dillard could go travel somewhere secluded and live in the woods. So, wait, the victim. That's the stupidest plan I've ever heard. exactly we're going to skin the dog for the pelt just steal a car if the whole point is to get a car and drive

somewhere we just hike just get an Uber fucking rent a cabin Jesus I got okay the victim Hector Mendez Hernandez apparently met them on Craigslist invited them over they went to the house

you're a stupid dumbass very much so and I hate to you know you don't want to blame the judge but like when you see the picture of these two, you're out immediately, you're fucking out. Right, yeah. I mean, they look like, they both

kind of look like me. Mendez-Hernandez allegedly tried to attempt to kiss Vex, which infuriated Berkowitz, who beat the man. Berkowitz then grabbed a gun and shot the man four times in the head. By the way, doing this.

With all prostitutes, there's no kissing involved. Yeah. All right. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend. This is for exchange for money. Well, apparently Dillard was trying to hold him down while Berkowitz got the gun. And while Berkowitz was shooting Hector in the head, he accidentally shot one of Dillard's fingers. Oh, wow. Yeah. So, fucking idiot. Then they stabbed him 25 times.

That's going to be messy. Before they finished it off by beating him over the head with a dumbbell until he stopped moving. where they had a gun and they murdered him with stabbing and beating with a dump- yeah Carl they did why why would you do that why would you skin a dog to make a furry suit

well that makes sense to make a furry suit why would just skin a duck to make a furry suit they didn't use this guy's skin for nothing well that's that's the pride don't understand they just wanted the sweet truck though this happened in 2020 okay so we're just under a year out of this happening there's still charges possibly pending because there's a

bigger part of this investigation that's happening. Another source claims to be close to the couple alleges that the couple often adopted animals from rescue centers and skin them and use their furs in the suits that they sold online. This is currently being investigated and they are waiting final sentencing.

So when you see these lovely, these people would be sitting at home and they'd see like the lollipop farm pet drive, hey, help adopt pets. They'd be sitting there going, huh, that one looks plump enough. We might be able to make a loincloth out of that. right they just fucking was shopping authentic furry suits you could buy on the internet these people were fucking murdering pets domesticated fucking pets yeah and then they murdered a human and here's the thing i would say this if i was someone in the listening audience say pondering whose person is creepier i would say this and this is my final point fucking dogs it's always creepier it would be well carl this guy had one dog and had a relationship with his dog yeah that's even creepier isn't it that they were in love for five years

yeah it's creepy i'm not saying it's not creepy my creep jacob identified as jacks a dog right he identified as a dog and murdered a dog well and he's a person and he also murdered a person i'm saying my guy's creepier i'm saying vexed jacks this week baby vote vexed jacks i like that you try to summarize that was something that all furries do they all have their fursonas and you're like and you know what the creepiest part is that he had a first thing you're like and you know what the creepiest part is that he had a persona. Like, well, that's kind of murdered a dog. He murdered what he identified as. I get it. I got it. People kill people. I got it. All right, cool. Okay. That was fun, Vinny. That was fun. It wasn't super long. I didn't pull any clips from any types of documentaries.

Yeah. We did not steal content for once. Thanks, everybody. Congratulations. I hope that you could all vote for Vinny and the creepoff.com this week. And Carl, would that be said? You've got a full heel turn. Don't try to be the people's champ again now. You're the people's jump. How dare you? What heel turn? Do we get any voicemails or anything coming through? We did, but before we get to the voicemails, I have to remind you that our voicemail segment is brought to you by our good friends in Syracuse. The Creep-off voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse.

Syracuse, winner of the Golden Snowball Award, which is no longer just a regular snowball that we peed on. See you in Syracuse. We'll see you in Syracuse. Sarah Hughes, the Gary, Indiana of New York State. It certainly is. Here we go. Hey, Vinny, Vinny, People's champ.

Listen to the latest WATP and Cribble Jesus was talking about his teacher and his semiscery class and how she wrote a book about oppression. Your new consequence should be doing a book report on said book. I love you. Bye. That's interesting. Well, we have the Stuttering John book report on there. So two book report consequences. Oh, God.

I can't even imagine having to read that book on oppression. Oh, God. That would be brutal. I would watch that live stream. That would be in the chair screaming and muttering. Like, you would go from muttered to yourself to scream, what are you even talking about? According to our Reddit, the WTP Reddit, I am a sexist. This has been confirmed by Redditors.

Yeah. People don't like you, Carl. So I don't know that this book would go over while in my household. Jesus Christ, Carl, really? Tara Reid. Anyways, keep up the great work, Cheney Vinny. You're doing fantastic. I mean, oh, perfect.

Thank you. All right, that was sarcastic. No, that was a compliment from me. Dude, you've got like no votes the last two weeks. You're doing terrible. Tara Reid was how I heard one of the news reporters pronounce it. That's why I said Tara Reid. That's why I assume it's, I think that's how she pronounced her name.

I don't know. It's not the terror read from the fucking movies, if that's what you're thinking. Hey, Carl. It's a different one. We have a mole. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Uh-uh.

We have somebody who came out and there's a little bit of office goss going around about you. Oh, yeah? Hey, Vin, I got a creep for you. An inside source tells me that Carl comes to work drunk on white claws and then make sexual advances towards gin in the jingles department. I'm told that it's not cute and is frankly quite embarrassing. Vinny Winnie. people's champ. Huh.

Is that true, Carl? I can either confirm nor deny. I don't know what he means by work, so I mean, part of that's possibly true. Did you get any? I got some voice smells that came in on the WATP hotline. Carl, I've been listening to the creep off since it came out. And I remember when the show was a tight 30 to 45 minutes. Yeah, me too.

Back then, you used to do your creeps, do the scum parade, and you were done. Yeah. And each of your creeps would take like 10 minutes. Great, yep. But now Vinny has to give us a history lesson on his creep, who doesn't even follow the rules. We've got to learn what they ate for dinner the night before they killed five people. Oh, yeah, he has his mother's lasagna. He yelled at a fucking head.

He was supposed to be a comedian. He's not funny. Fuck you, Vinny. I'm not going to do a 45-minute voicemails if you're not going to do 10-minute or less creeps. This voicemail is going to be 60 seconds. No, it's not. I don't have anything else to say. So we're ending in at 55.

Fuck you, Vinny. He's actually 48, but he did that out of spite. Fuck you back, sir. All right. What else we get? Ignorant, son of a bitch, dumb bastard? Jesus Christ, I've met some dumb bastards in my time, but you out do them all. I don't like him.

All right, let's see what else is going on, our voice mail. Hey, Carl, this is a message for that fast fun Vinny on the creep off. Vinny, you idiot. Last week, you brought in a fucking cream. well two weeks ago my dad he brought in the fucking creep who didn't even committed crime in 2005 and now this last week

he brought in a creep who was in fucking exile and his entire time in the 21st century he was in exile and he had no fucking power are you a fucking retard mini go fucking wipe or cheer yourself up with a piece of you fat fuck bye

have a good week you don't to be that mean but yeah but he fucked up last week pretty bad idiot I mean was out of power from like 1980 until the rest of his life. He was the last King of Scotland. He declared himself the King of Scotland that he was until he died.

Last voicemail. By the way, I will say that when I pull out voicemails for WTP, I curate them. I find the best ones. If you leave me a voicemail bashing Vinny, I will play it on this show, no matter what it says. Hey, Carl. I think you start going easy on Vinny for the creep boss. The man's clearly not all there

anymore. For creepiest 21st century reader, he picked a guy who hasn't been the leader of a country since the 1970s. I mean, clearly something's wrong with him. Maybe the pizza closes to his house closed or that's true. Like, maybe

his wife will no longer feed him in bed. I don't know, but you should, like, see if there's anything wrong with him, because it may affect the quality of the show. So I'll make back. We're all worried about you, Betty. If she stops, she still wouldn't be my wife, Carl. We're all worried about you. Thanks, guys.

All right. I mean, this guy was a real jerk. Something to say there. Fair enough. Carl, I have no more voicemails. I guess if you want to leave us a voicemail, you could call us at 585, 371.80108. Anytime that you want. We're also on Instagram and Twitter at creep off pod. So join us there. Hey, Carl. Before we get into the scum parade, I meant to ask you a question with the furry thing. Yeah. What do you think your persona would be? Hmm. If you were going to be an animal. An Ewok. Yeah. Could you be an Ewok?

Is that against the rules? I don't know. even though you just want to be a ball height you just want to be a fucking dick and fart height walk around on my knees can someone please Photoshop you walk for a car Oh I'm gonna regret your name be

I'm gonna regret saying that What would you what would your name be Wicked slurp slurp Oh stop it Slurp slurp slurp What would your Fursona be there Slurp slurp slurp

That's your name Slurp Yeah what would your persona Fursona be I don't know Like a big cuddly orangutag Or something like that Big monkey suit

Something like that Something where my belly would be like Accented nicely Okay Yeah That makes sense Yeah You ready for a scum parade

Please All right Please Photosops Oh no It's a scum parade Oh no it's a scum parade Making him in his day

Day fucking slurp All right Carl, I'm sneaking one in on you, buddy. Oh, yeah? Yeah, but hell. Lake Jackson, Texas. When a man suspected of peeping

through her 15-year-old daughter's bedroom window took off running, Texas mother Phyllis Pena wrapped him up at a tackle that, honestly, I think that the dolphin should sign her. Okay. Here's the video card.

That's sweet. For those of you who are watching, enjoy those of you're listening. Now, the mother, she's wearing a pair of jean jorts. Yeah. And she's not a big lady. Oh, that was a linebacker move. She fucking squared her shoulders. That was a well-done tackle right there.

And then the cops show up. Watch it again in slow motion. But she squares her shoulders. She's got a low center of gravity this one. She's not going to put him juke her. And she did not lead with her head. She did not lead with the helmet. That was a proper tackle technique.

And then the cops come and tackle this guy. But she also boxed him out. She forced him one way and then just went in for the tackle. I mean, that is. The dolphins would be a top five defense if they could secure her. If we could just get Phyllis Pena from Lake Jackson, Texas. Apparently this kid, it was like 19 years old. And he was peeping in the 15-year-old daughter's window.

They called the police. The kid was hiding somewhere. Then he saw the police car and realized he had to get out of there. The cops were coming from one side of the house. He ran around the other. wasn't expected her old thick thighs No, I wasn't expected that. Oh my God, she sprung into action and fucking put his ass down.

I hope her daughter is more fun to look at than she is because I don't know what this guy's looking at, but... I don't know, I like it. Yikes. I'll tell you what Steve Mungo McMichael told me once. Yeah, what's that? Big old Mongo looked at me and said, I like a girl who could really dig it.

You know, that woman with that audition tape could become the newest star of the, The Mandalorian series now that there's an opening for a giant woman on that show. We'll call this lady Kara Dunes. Next, Creef, Carl, what is the most important thing we have in this country? Men in Florida. That is accurate. And you know what else is important?

What's that? Our civil rights. Correct. And when you infringe on our civil rights, sometimes you have to act. Yes. And a Florida man was arrested yesterday for a decent exposure. He told police that he was protesting for civil rights by showing his penis to traffic. Yes. According to the criminal complaint cops charged that Riley James Cushman 23 was

spotted alongside a roadway in Palm Harbor in Tampa with his pants down with his knees his pants down to his knees holding his penis while facing traffic in a vulgar manner. I don't know if you saw the additional report that came out after this, but AOC was afraid for her life. Even though she was up in D.C. at the time. I think this guy just got the Bucketeers victory prayed all wrong. Yeah, you think? Yeah, I think that's what happened. Did you hear the, uh, the music that he was playing as he was, uh, no, Carl, what was he

staying next to traffic with his pants down? What was he playing? The cars are passing me by, they honk and say hello. And I got a jack-it from his window, there's a guy shooting video. Video of him jacking. And if the good Lord Jesus comes knocking on my door, just tell him

that I'm jacking it in San Diego. Jacking it, jacking it, jacking-and-a-jack. Spagin it, spanking it, spaginck it smackety smack. I'm sorry, I just, as soon as I read this story, I was like, oh, I know where this is going. But he said that he was protesting for civil rights. When the cops arrested him, Cushman displayed, resulted in arrest for exposure of sexual organs, which is a misdemeanor in Florida. I like that he was in his refractory period, too, because he's like, you know what, guys, I'm actually done here.

I'm ready to just go home. You don't have to bother me anymore. I feel like I really got the message out. Whipping your dick out for civil rights Is admirable It is If more people did that Maybe we wouldn't be so oppressed by our government

I'd go to one of the protests and just laugh Jagging it, Jaggedy Jack Spanking it Jacket Spikeety smack I don't need no shirt No gonna take damn pants right off He's about to jack it On such a bright day Who needs underwear or socks

Jagger Jacket Hope been around God's country And there's one thing I know There's no better place You know, I think we have a new song to add to the pre-show mix. It's a great one. We're adding two songs today. We're adding the Ediamine song.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, as long as we can get rid of that stupid, imagine all the pizza song. Oh, that one stays. So boring. So let's head down to Arkansas, shall we? An Arkansas man who looks exactly like my wife's grandfather, by the way. Oh, yeah. An Arkansas man accused of leaving 16 dead animals on an old neighbor's grave.

played guilty on Monday. This guy's name was Mr. Strode. He was arrested on August 10th, 2020 after he was caught on surveillance video dressed up in overalls and wearing a woman's wing placing dead animals on the headstone

at the Peeridge Cemetery. The suspect was wearing a teal and white women's jacket, sunglasses, and a woman's wing. A family member of the deceased said she went to the grave and found a dead possum on it and ate live baby possums inside one of the flower vases.

It's disturbing? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She said the family removed 16 dead animals from her grandfather's grave in total, and one of the animals had left a brown stain on the tombstone after being draped over it. This is a victory for the neighbor who passed away, that this guy's still that pissed off at him and he's getting arrested for fucking with his gravestone. Like, if I were to die and stuttering John and Marissa Jones was arrested for trying to fuck with my graves,

So I would call that a victory for myself. I have to wait in line behind me. Well, you understand it, though. You're supposed to dance on the grave. You don't have to deface it. Just dance. It's it. Fertilize the grave.

Do whatever you got to do. You can always just stand there and be like, jacking it, jacking it, jacking it. Yeah, there's nothing about your gravestone. That doesn't make anyone jack off. Yeah, actually, not that I think of mine. Actually, when Carl dies, I feel like that should be the tradition. You should be, I want you all when Carl dies and,

whatever murder-suicide happens in the Jingles Department. I hope that he, I hope that you all treat his grave like G.G.L. Yeah. You mean when, uh, the Jingles Department steps out of the line and I'm like, Stop. Hammer time. Okay. We got to talk about that story. Do we have to talk about that story? I don't know. I have to say something. Okay. Last week we did a story about a 79-year-old guy named Jesse Hank. Yeah. Who bashed his wife over the head with a hammer.

75-year-old woman. They'd been married for over 40 years. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. horrific story so yeah nothing to laugh at it turns out that that gentleman had Alzheimer's yes is why he did it yeah he wasn't being a creep he just that's the problem with doing these local

stories we find out that we know people who know people and then you have to have awkward conversations while you're drinking a cup of coffee in your kitchen and then it gets a little sad for a second you're like oh really and back to our recreational and schedule program what else is what other fun stories here we make fun of uh his wife

is also buried in the same cemetery and there was a lawsuit between them and Mr. Stroud, apparently the reason he did this is because he didn't want to go visit his wife anymore because he was so upset that this guy was in the same cemetery as her. I find that to be completely insane.

Oh, the guy who dressed up in a wig and glasses and overalls to put dead possums on a tombstone? You think that wasn't disdain? Jesus Christ, fucking weirdo. All right. Let's talk about a 27-year-old Cleveland mother, shall we? All right.

Now, Carl, if you were separated from your babies, Mama, you would appreciate getting like little video updates from time to time and that's how things are going with your kid, right? Especially a very young child who's growing up. You want those moments. Even though you're not with your significant other, you want to know what's happening with your kid. Well, a 27-year-old Cleveland mom has been sentenced to at least 14 years in prison after sending one of these, how you doing videos. DeZia Watkins attempted to drown her son in a bathtub at their Cleveland home. Watkins, who was reportedly upset with the child's father, held the six-year-old underwater by his neck and yelled obscenities in him while he gasped for air. You know, she wasn't videotaping because you could have used both arms and maybe followed through with it.

Just use a foot on the kid. You use the foot on the kid. Yeah. One hand after the selfie. Or you set up a tripod. Oh, my God. Get one of those light rings. Yeah.

There's not good light in the bathroom most of the time for these. And maybe just a little boom mic if you want to get good audio. Yes, correct. Crisp audio is important. I can help you set it up. Give me a call. Yeah. Or call House Sparks.

Officials say Wachens recorded the incident on her cell phone and sent the video to the child's father. She then took the boy to a bedroom and attempted to suffocate him with a pillow. I got to say, if you're going to murder your son by drowning them in the tub, the cutoff is four years old. If you haven't done it at them at their four, you're not going to be able to pull it off. It's not easy. It's like trying to get a cat into a bag. It's easy. A lot more difficult once they turn five and six.

You're not going to be that successful. Like if somebody said to you, hey, listen, you have to kill a six-year-old in a fist fight, way easier than drowning. Sure, sure. Clawing biting. In a fist fight. What's wrong with you? The child had arrived at the home, filed the boy into custody. The incident was reported that Cayuga County Child Department of Family Services, and Watkins was arrested.

Watkins pleaded guilty to attempted murder, child endangerment, domestic violence, felonist assault. and pandering obscenity involving a minor. So if you're going to film yourself, video of yourself breaking the law, the only time it's appropriate is after a defenseless black man is killed by the police. Otherwise, do not do that. You will be arrested. Now, the Ohio Department of Corrections will review Watkins case after she has served 14 years. But what I think is funny about this.

What's funny about this, Vinnie? Well, she was charged with pandering obscenity. which is like for swearing that the kid well, she was trying to drown him. Yeah, I think we can let that one go. Yeah, if you're going to commit the crime. Like, doesn't it seem like one of those charges that would just get, like, traded away?

Like, just plead guilty and we won't charge you with saying naughty words in your video. Well, I would just say the kid was underwater. He couldn't hear the swear words. Yeah, I raised a good boy. He doesn't even know what those words mean. All right. Are you ready for our last story this week?

I sure am, Minnie. You texted me about this story. It said, how do we not talk about this? Yeah, so this is a couple weeks old now, but everyone's talking about it. It's one of the fun stories. Are they playing the audio and the video of it on other... I saw Anthony Coombea played the video of it, yeah.

Yeah, he's behind a paywall, though. Correct. So, uh... I don't think we should play the video. I'm not going to play the whole video. Oh, you have some of it? I have some of the video, and the blood and guts will be not be seen, but... Oh, right.

You will hear some disturbing shit when I'm about to play for you. So if you don't like it, I do apologize. An apparent murder suicide believed to have stemmed from a disagreeing about snow shoveling left three people dead in Pennsylvania. Jeffrey Spaddy shot James and Lisa going in the middle of their street on February 1st. Spadie Fadley shot his neighbor's James and Lisa after an argument regarding where they shoveled their snow. The guy's bodies were found in the suburban street as the 15-year-old autistic son was inside of the home. That kid was taught a valuable lesson that day.

Don't mouth off to strangers. Don't mouth off to war vets who are heavily armed. Yeah, and that's the thing. When you learn about this guy, he wasn't. was a war vet he uh he's had an interesting career he's like retired now just like living in this summer he's dead now yeah he oh yeah that's what i bet he's retired from life he's retired from life uh surveillance footage shows a couple yelling and spadey calling him a motherfucker and a pussy now i'm gonna play you a little bit of the shit talk dude this is crazy even when he's coming

down pointing a gun at them they do not stop calling him a pussy who won't do shit it's this is I don't know how people all of a sudden are not afraid of guns pointed at them anymore. I'm in the camp of there's a gun pointed at me. I believe you might kill me. I think it probably has to do with a level of narcissism, mixed with a level of being desensitized to violence. Yeah, I'm going to go ahead and apologize for anything that may have been perceived that I did wrong. You hold a gun to me like that was my bad that I take it back.

Oh my God. I upset you. I am so sorry. I'll get this snow out of your yard. I'm sorry. That's literally what they were doing. They were shoveling snow into his yard. I would just start yelling at my 15-year-old kid.

Get off your ass. Go help the nice neighbor. Go help our neighbor. Yes. All right, go ahead. Play it. Or just stand in front of me. You know what?

You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? So the man is running up your fucking head off your shit. So the man is running up his driveway right now.

You go fucking queer. That is the murder victim calling him a queer. Calling him McClare. I'm going to Fleeved version of this? Yep, yep, yep. I'm like you can't hear ass, but you can watch someone get shot in the head of point blank range. No, you can't. I'm going to make your life a living hell living here.

What? I'm going to make your life a living hell living here. Now... You would probably be... You're the fucking gun back. He's the middle of the day in the summer in the suburban neighborhood. He's got a gun. He just realized he's got a gun.

You! And now he's giving him a gun. him the middle finger double birds with the guy pointing a gun at him now the wife's coming out to he's got to call it a bluff like that you're not going to bluff like that I will never talk shit to anyone again

the furry I love you. You're great, Ferris, you're fantastic. Do what you do. Holy shit, I learned a lesson today. Do not be mouty. Well, the craziest thing about this video is he's got a handgun.

He hits both the husband and the wife. They're both down, bleeding out, but are still conscious and yelling and call the police. He goes back inside. I was thinking when I was watching this video that he's going to go inside, maybe jump at a car, drive away.

No, he comes back out with a rifle and point blank. puts these people out of their misery in front of the 15-year-old autistic kid who comes running out, which is... So the sun has learned not to mouth off to heavily armed war vets, which I think is a... And that's why

you always leave a note. Yep. Holy shit. Yeah, that was a crazy story. It was all a shot... 15 to 20 shots. Yeah. Oh, he was pissed. This has been bubbling up for a while now.

They were shoveling snow into his fucking yard, too. Why would you do that? Yeah, they were egging him on quite a bit. This guy's a 50-year-old man who was shot to death. Fifty years old, and this is what he's up to? I mean, she was pretty mouthy too. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she was a problem.

Wow, was. Yep. Wow. Wow. So. What a fun way to end the show this week, Vennie. Hey, hope everyone had a great time on this week's edition of the grapeoff. But before we go, I have something that I need to play for everybody. We have a new message from our friends at Vietnam.

Hmm. Wow, they keep up. out these videos, huh? Well, Carl, there is evil that needs to be exposed. Hear that whistling? It's the sound of Carl's dastardly dog whistle. You heard right. Carl's been secretly communicating with a terrorist cell

called the, What Are We Even Talking About, Boys? This fringe group is even more right-leaning than the alt-right. It's the old exact right, and they take orders to Directly from Carl, communicating in secret messages, Carl dictates his instructions on how to raise funds for the group. If it's about money, yes. Murdering your children is a good idea. Carl also gives tips on executing their disgusting rituals. You gut the animal and then just use the skin and bones and it won't smell as bad.

And most horrifyingly, gives life hacks on how members can avoid being caught in their crimes. Seen here? How many times have I said this? When you go out for dinner with your nine-year-old girlfriend, use cash. Just use cash. It's that easy, guys. It's that easy, guys. And here.

A bit of advice, when you're fucking 11-year-old girl, come on the tits. I can't stress this enough, people. Need proof of the connection? Here's rare video showing Carl out of what are we talking about boys' rally. Never fuck with me. Is that a white claw? That is a white claw. White claw!

White claw! Mango white claw! Vote for Vinny, who's only to discuss. The disgusting ritual includes a Pizza Hut buffet, paid for by the Vinny Winnie Don't Know How Centries Work Committee. That's amazing. Yeah. You got to, there's so many jokes in the video itself that you got to watch that. Vietnam is real, ladies and gentlemen.

That's hilarious. There's a Vietnam playlist on our YouTube channel. When, oh, good. Is that the YouTube channel? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When I'm doing the South Park Canadian-style talking there at the end, that's fucking funny, man. Wow. Bravo.

Yes. Bravo. Oh, the Crozier's. fucking reaction shot. Brilliant. Just brilliantly put together. Well done. Very, very well done. So ladies and gentlemen, make sure you vote this week at the creepoff.com. You could vote for Vex and Jax. You can vote for Danger Doberman.

That's right. We'll be back next week with more creeps for you. Until then, make sure you leave us a review, five stars if you can. Yeah, real quick. So we have our first Hall of Famer. Yes. The voting is in. Yes, I am working on the episode. We will have a bonus episode sometime in the next week or two for you guys. It is our very first one.

The votes are in. It is official. Jared Fogel's going in the hall, baby. Yeah. So Jared is going to be our first Hall of Fame creep, and we're going to put together a bonus show where we really dig into that story. And it won't be a contest,

but we're going to put it out for everybody, and then I think we're going to put a little Patreon together after that and continue to do Hall of Fame shows. I think that a Patreon might be a fun idea. Okay. then we are in agreement I think that when we do a Patreon we need to have two separate tiers

a Carl tier and a Vinny tier so people can actually pick sides all right I think that'll be good after the last couple weeks I don't know that you want that but all right I think I want that sounds good I know because you watch this Vietnam shit and it's this propaganda

it's brainwashing you into thinking this is how everybody feels actually Carl I feel that way because I know you I talk to you on the phone during the I know you as a person. Yeah, all right, good points. Leave reviews. Dorkles a clown will be back next week. Okay.

Thank you, everyone. Remember, it's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. Gagia! Edy, Eidie on me Most amazing man There's ever been He the general, the president

The king of the sea Edy, Edy, Edy, umi Look at the history And packed with men What rising to the top and getting chopped again No one found them in the secret Of the whole damn thing You gotta give the population

Something to say This is stupid