The Creep Off - Episode 55: Beth I Hear You Calling

Episode Date: March 23, 2021

In honor of St. Patrick this week Vinnie & Karl search for the creepiest descendent of the Emerald Isle: In the Scum Parade we make a stop in the greatest city in the world, we meet a fake cosmetic surgeon and a man who borrowed his grandfather’s ear: Finally the Wheel of Consequences is spun and Karl is not pleased

Do you have YouTube open on your computer over there? I do, yeah. That's what the loop is. Would you please mute it? You're fucking idiot. I'm over here panicking. And you got your goddamn YouTube on. I didn't know that you had this going to YouTube.

Well, where do you think we fucking stream the show, dip shit? I know, but the show hasn't started yet, fuck face. Well, we started the live stream. You shared it. You fat fucking retard. How am I supposed to fucking know? You shared it. You shared the link.

I did. Like, I'm the problem. God damn it. All right. Now, let's pretend to be friends and do the fucking podcast. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation. Horror shock.

I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive and I'm not backing down. Disgusting Vomit-inducing thing Ola Creepos Welcome to another edition of the Creepoff The show about creeps

by creeps For you creeps My name is The People's Champion Vinnie Paulino And that's my co-host Hot Carla Hey, what's happening,

Vinny? nothing how are you i've been better i know hey what's up behind you uh it's the wheel of cats we got that uh in frame ready to go for later on in the show because if you want to pull out the voting

i believe i got uh crushed no last week was a wildcard week it was and i had the piggy lady yes and uh you want to tell the people what the voting was 66% for viny That was of course So Vinny has now won this round

5 to 3 to 2 Okay so I need to let everybody know Gangrenously our pal Yeah compiled on the Reddit A board a scoreboard of every episode of the creep off. Oh, good. So it's all up there now. So if you're not checked out already yet, go do that. What good work. He's a good egg. Thank you for doing that. Also, do we know which creeps we picked too? Is that on there? Oh, God, I wish. I know. We need to, someone needs to help us out because

I was looking at a creeper today. I'm like, did we already do this one? We're going to forget and do some repeats. If we don't have a list somewhere. Yeah, we're never going to make it to 77. We should have thought of that. We should have thought of that. I agree. So, uh, Carl, I won and you lost and you're going to get to spin the wheel at the end of the show. This is correct. Now let's tease it. We've added a few new things. We've taken a few things off today.

Yeah. There is one big addition that I am not quite pleased about. It was my idea. It was my idea last time. And I agree to do it on the wheel. And now we finally put it on the wheel. But there is a past the spin. You can see it right here.

Past the spin means if I land on that, then Vindia. to spin the wheel. That's bullshit. That's fun. That makes it more fun. So stick around to the end of the show today. Let's hope Carl has to drive to Gary, Indiana. Now tell everybody what today's theme is. Shall we, Carl? Yes. Today's theme picked by yours truly. We're a little bit late. St. Patrick's Day was last week. But we're doing the creepish Irish person. And I see Hughesies in the chat. He's not happy about this. He finds this to be problematic. Oh, that we have the creepiest Irish. person but it's it's st patty's month so we're celebrating the irish by going over the creepiest irish person ever by just pointing them out ladies and gentlemen without any further ado once you ring that bell carl oh boy oh boy today ladies and gentlemen my creep is a native of rathdowny ireland his name is kieran kelly he upgraded to london in 1953 where he worked as a labor and spent most of his days as a vagrant. So he was basically an Irish bum living in London.

Oh, he got to give me another nickel there. Like, this is what this guy did for a living, but it was Irish. It goes without saying. Right. He had a couple of problems when he was in London all the way back to 53. But in 1983 in particular, he was arrested for stealing a ring and a watch from a 65-year-old man and was sent to the police station where he had to spend the night in jail. and that night

he murdered his cellmate a fellow homeless gentleman by the name of William Boyd and the reason he did this was because William Boyd was snoring Oh, okay Kieran Kelly stomped his head in and then strangled him

with his own socks Now, the cops were absolutely shocked that this happened. Strangled him with the victim's socks? Yes, he took off the guy's socks off and strangled him with them. Wow. That's, I'm telling you.

It's like, but the, Beguiver of the, well, I guess MacGyver would be Irish, right? Oh, I'll strangle you with your own socks. Like, it sounds like an Irish threat. It does. That just came real. So, I got to tell you, no hyperbole.

Strangle the man with his own socks. And then, you know, the cops were like, what the fuck did you do? And he's like, the motherfucker was snored. I was trying to get some sleep. And he was all upset. And what ended up happening was they brought him into another room. And they started question was why I did. He says, you think this is the first person I've killed Begore?

he admitted he confessed to kill it at least 30 other people. That's stupid. You would think so. That's a dumb thing to do. He's not a bright guy. So it turns out, Carl, you want to talk to your attorney? He goes back to 1953 with his first murder.

There's a gentleman who was a police detective. His name is George Platt. And he was the guy who interviewed Kieran Kelly for hours and months after this to get as many confessions and, information out of the guys. He ended up writing a book in 1953 when he moved to London. And the reason he moved to London was to go to Queen Elizabeth's coronation. And what happened was that 1953, he came over to London. He came over with a friend, Christie Smith, and they went down to Tooting Beck where they thought they could get cheap accommodation. They jumped into a bed and

breakfast. They then got on a tube train heading back up to see the coronation. So everything's fine. He's hanging out with his friend Christy. Apparently in Ireland, that's a man's name. Sure. Christy asked our boy, Karen, a question. On the train, as they were getting on the train, Christy Smith said, hey, Kelly, you're 30 now. It's about time you got married.

Kelly thought that he was being outed as a homosexual. In those days, being homosexual was, in fact, socially and, you know, legally, a different situation. Different attitudes prevailed. The theory is that Kieran Kelly was a closet

did homosexual. Okay. And when his friend said to him, hey man, why don't you get married? Kieran took this as, oh shit. He was like,

Oh, Jesus Christ! He knows me family. He's going to ruin me. Yeah, then he said, Let's see that dick. You dick! Kelly was petrified that he was being outed.

Christy Smith knew his family, his friends, his employer, his priest, and he thought that he was doomed. He was petrified. He shook all day. He said,

couldn't control himself couldn't think straight and all the left of it and then finally they got a last train back they stopped to stop well change train and uh as they were waiting for the train he heard the train come in he thought I saw a blinding flash it was an epiphany I knew that what I had to do was to push my best mate

under the train to silence him and he did that so he threw his best friend under the fucking train because his friend just said to him hey man why don't you get married why aren't you married well he was odd to him he wasn't odd to him He was asking a question. He was going to out of him.

He knew his priest. He threw him under a train. He did the right thing. Now, uh, this became a long-term career goal for Kieran. And then after that, of course, he carried on pushing people on these two trains. I think he had a fixation on it. He couldn't come to terms with what he'd done. And he just carried on pushing people under the tube trains.

Couldn't come to terms with that. It sounded like he loved it. He sounds like he was a big fan. Yeah. That sounds like a hobby to me. What do you mean he couldn't come to terms with it? So this is so fucking crazy. for the next 30 years

the pattern of this guy's life was he would be arrested for either robbery or brawling, serve a few months come out of prison, be arrested again and go back into prison. Now, was he a drinker of this guy? Oh, God, yeah. Oh, God. Oh, was he?

That's the curse of you, people. The potato juice, that's always about your people's problem. This George Plack guy recalls, he would smirk as he talked about what he would do, and he was also very obvious that it gave him a sexual thrill. He got off on it. He liked, he would push some, a stranger.

He would hang out at like the London Underground trains and just push a stranger in front of a train. Okay. And then he would stand there. With a heart on? Yes. He would stand there and he would hang around the scene waiting to speak to the officer in charge, whereupon he would helpfully volunteer the information that he had been standing next to the deceased who, though he was a total stranger had confided in Kelly about marital problems or financial woes,

just before jumping off as the train pulled in. And meanwhile, he was also Jagging it, jacking it, jacking it, jacking it, spikeing it, smack. I just find a reason to play that every episode now. This fucking guy got off on it. Yeah, he did it one time. Hide in plain sight. For 30 years, he was just going down to the trains

and fucking throwing strangers in front of him. And the thing was, all of these deaths were recorded as suicides. Of course. Nobody thought they were murders eyewitness is reported. It's always the same eyewitness. You would think at one point they'd be like, who'd you get a statement from? I've seen that name before. You would think, but I mean, we're talking about 50s, 60s, and 70s.

This is all paper. So what's also interesting is one time he was fingered for pushing a guy because people saw him do it. And they jumped on him and grabbed him and held him down to the police got there. He got arrested. He got taken to jail, brought before a judge, and was released because they said he had no motive. Interesting. So he wasn't able to actually do it because they stopped him from doing it, right?

No, he did it. Oh, he did. And they were like, this guy did it. And he was like, no, no, I didn't do it. I didn't do it. And they just fucking let him go. He has no reason to do this. So wait a second. I could commit crimes as long as they're not logical. Apparently in the 50s and 60s in Ireland. Damn it. Well, this is London, isn't it? Well, this is London. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was going back and forth doing this whenever the fuck he wanted to. I actually have audio of his confession. to George Platt. It's hard to understand from his accent. I was wearing cardway bridges, digging, ditches, bullets, stitches, stodging, hitches, I was working on the railway. The long story short is, the police decide to cover all of this up, Carl.

You can't even believe the shit. The Home Office decided, as is their right, that they felt that public hysteria might follow, that the people would panic, that knowing this was happening, people wouldn't want to travel on the tube train. It might be that nobody from southwest London went to work if they had to avoid the trains. So the police never told anybody that this lunatic was running around doing this. I love it. It didn't come out until way later.

And this guy was sentenced. Check this out. This is what he ended up going to prison for. Eventually, he was sentenced for two murders, for life imprisonment, and were sent to one to the prison and then onto Wakefield. They convicted him for the murder of the guy in the cell and of another homeless guy that apparently he stabbed in a cemetery. So he was out doing other shit. But this man for 30 years, they have no clue how many innocent bystanders are just fucking standing around waiting for the train when... Four potty walks on the railway.

Just throwing people under the trains. Here's a fun fact that you may not know in 1996 a band wrote a number one hit song about Kieran Kelly. I did not know that. Was it the Dropkick Murphys? No, it was, this song right here. Now you know, that song is based on, right in, now you know the rest of the story. That's what that song is based on. Prove me wrong.

This dude is fucking corny. I don't know what's gotten into you today, but... All right, great. Can I tell you one other thing? Yeah, I found out that the Irish really don't like gay people very much. No? Yeah, I did not realize that there was a pretty religious bunch, right? They are, but I found this video about, of an angry Irish guy, just on a side note, his wife asked him.

He just want to pile on Irish people. Yeah, this is a guy sitting in his car, his wife asked him, if he, now that they accepted this same-sex marriage in Ireland, if you would ever go to a gay wedding, here was his response. There's no game. is in Ellen. Of course there is. That's the thing the Americans do have.

Of course. There's gays everywhere. They're not. I love it. And that conversation continued and you're going to laugh with this.

His wife goes, what about Graham Norton? He's like your favorite comedian and he's gay. Graham Norton is another flamboyant. He's definitely gay

and everyone knows. Kathleen Inocky is an entertaining man. An entertainer, Kathleen. That's what they do. They pretend to be a bit

edgy. But then why did we bother passing the referendum at all? In case that rich, Ford and clears come over and we can take their money. Is that it? That's it. Oh, thank you. That is a real Irishman. It sounds like a kid's in the hall. That is a real Irishman sitting in his car being filled by his wife. That's hilarious. I was

crying laughing to that. I had to work it inside. Can we get that guy on the creep off? He probably should have been my cream. Can we reach out to that guy? No. So my creep was murdering people because he was a closeted homosexual for 30-some odd years and he murdered innocent people just standing around waiting the trades now i had a nightmare last night about this that i just got afraid of

getting pushed in front of a train yes really yeah this is a fear that you have do you do you take the subway well there is no subway in rochester but there's i know you've been other places yes yeah yeah yeah but like i never stand near the fucking train thing like i was always scared of that no shit i stand as we got to add this to the wheel of consequences i just stand next to the rails for eight hours while I'm streaming. And here's some advice from Detective George Platt. It doesn't hurt now and again to alert people

of the fact that they're better off with their shoulders pressed against the wall than they are hanging off the edge of the platform. Damn fucking straight. Stay to the back. Yeah, but you want to get the first seat? No, I don't. You want to get out there as quick as possible. No.

Fuck, no. That's my creep. All right. Well, that was interesting. Vinny. Did some research on that. How did you find that person? We need to Google to find something like that Irish serial killers

Very good All right I guess it isn't that difficult To do that sort of thing All right well my creep is someone that you know Everybody knows A very famous Irish person Patrick Michael

Now Patrick Mike my I'm just kidding I'm just kidding I'm just going to try to make you guess Who this person is You know who they are We're going to play a game Yep we're going to play a game

This is audio of this person When she was starring in a movie. So, it's a free country. I'm a person. I buy my bus pass for 40 bucks and I'm first always, so that's why I'm first. Who do you think that is? That is Rosie O'Donnell.

That is Rosie O'Donnell. That's correct. From the movie riding the bus with my stepsister. Yes, Rosie O'Donnell played a mentally challenged person in a made-for-TV movie called Riding the Bus with my sister. This movie was very empowering. This movie is

so offensive. It's not even funny. Here is Rosie, who's Beth, she's playing a character, Beth, in this, talking about her boyfriends. I'm going to go to Elma, now I'm going to catch a buzz with Rick. Ah, Rick is your new favorite.

Yeah, because he has a green car and he's cute. The green Mustang, very classy. Yeah. I think he's going to take me for a ride in it. What about your boyfriend? What about Jesse? Jesse. She's delicious. He's going to take me today to get a new toilet seat because mine got broken and was sliding.

The door would fall off of it. Like, whoa. I can't believe this movie got made. What was Rosie thinking? Oh, my God. And she went full retard. She certainly did. She went full retard. This is her at the hardware store shopping for toilet seats. Like she just talked about. That's what she was going to be doing. This is her and her boyfriend shopping for toilet seats. Oh, but Jesse, that one's ugly. Nobody wants to sit on that

You know me I'm fussing Yeah We need some help I'll get it Can we have assistants Play the row number one for toilet seats I don't know about you guys

Toilett's assistant The Road number one Thank you You gotta see the way she looks too She just has like this underbite The whole time and she's just like Ugh She somehow is ugher than usual

in this fucking movie. And listen to how bad she is in acting. Rosie O'Donnell is a creep. This is a dramatic scene where her father is dying in the hospital. She goes to the hospital, and this is her overacting ass. Boris Simon.

What's my daddy? What's my daddy? Oh! He's in a coma. He's unconscious. He won't even know you're here. Yes, he will, because he's knowing. I think it's important for Beth to see her dad.

No! Oh! What is he? I am! Oh, wow. Dad. Baph, I hear you call it? Oh, God.

She is the least talented celebrity to ever fucking exist, Rosie O'Donnell. She sucks. Sucks out loud. I just got a couple more clips because they're so much fun. So literally, all you did was bringing clips of her played Beth. So far. From this movie.

So far. I think that's a pretty good argument so far. But, yeah, I mean, this is all just gold. This is her talking about fucking her boy. boyfriend. I can't have any kiss. That's true. They had my tubes tied up.

But that's okay because then I don't have to worry when I'm with Jesse. You know what I mean? Ew. Because he doesn't in my butt. Why was that in the book? Why is she talking about having sex with their boyfriend and not pulling out? What was that? Why was that necessary in there?

This is, uh... Jesse! Jesse! That's a good man! That's my boyfriend, Jesse! We know, Beth. So shut up. I did like that guy.

The guy on the bus who's just... And I mean, what do you think this Jesse guy is doing at this point? Do you think he's just covering his face and, like, looking down? Or is he going, ah, that's me, I'm her boyfriend. This movie is ponderous, Vinny. For some reason... Did you watch the whole movie? The dad dies.

And so the sister, who's the uppity bitch, has to now care for this girl. And guess what? They both learn to love each other and grow from the experience. It takes an hour and a half of this ridiculous nonsense. It doesn't add to the plot,

doesn't move the story along. It's just her on a bus acting full retard. I would like to respond to Hank W78 in the YouTube live chat. He says, I'm late. Is Carl ripping off ONA again? Yes, Hank he is.

Hold on. Before you say that. Yes, he is, Hank. She does do a. Vinny impression that I thought was spot odd. This is Rosie O'Don doing Vinnie Paulino. Yeah, it's my body.

I eat what I like. I like hot dogs. I like spaghetti and meatballs in a can. I like everything with marshmallows. I think I've heard you say that exact sentence before. Yeah. It's pretty spot on. Thank you.

All right. So I want to wrap up my argument here. You haven't made one yet. I have made it. brilliant argument. We're talking about creeps. This woman went full retired. And she's also a fat, disgusting slob as our greatest living president once told us all. Well, Rosie O'Donnell's disgusting. I mean, both inside and out. You take a look at her. She's a slob. She talks like a truck driver. Rosie attacked me personally because I was very happy when her talk show failed. The other thing that failed, and this was a real monster and everybody was suing her, was her magazine. Her magazine

called Rosie was a total disaster. So I loved it. I gloat over it. I think it's wonderful because I like to see bad people fail. Rosie failed. I'm happy about it. That didn't sound like Jimmy Carter. This is our greatest living president. A little bit more from him, please, about Rosie O'Donnell, my creep.

She's basically a disaster. If I were running the view, I'd fire Rosie. I mean, I'd look her right in that fat, ugly face of hers. I'd say, Rosie, you're fired. Rosie is a loser. All right. Last clip, though. You deserve to spin the wheel. Less than I have is just about how unattractive Rosie O'Donnell is.

We're all a little chubby, but Rosie's just worse than most of us. But it's not the chubbiness. Rosie is a very unattractive person, both inside and out. And for that reason, vote for Carl and Rosie O'Donnell, creepiest Irish person. Go to the creepoff.com. Is she voted? Actually, Irish? Isn't she American? Well, she's Irish descent.

How do you now? Donald. I bet you if we looked it up, we'd find out that she might be other things, too. You know what, Vinnie. You know that I'm going to win. Now you're trying to fight away. First off, this is complete bullshit.

This is not complete bullshit. My guy is a complete creep for shits and giggles. You know, like, Rosie O'Donnell's a creep? Are you insane? You're just mad that I found the biggest creep we've ever talked about on this show. And there's going to be a fucking blowout. My guy threw innocent people in front of fucking trains. Jesus Christ

Oh Jesus Christ All right Thank you All right That's never not funny All right Vinny We get any voicemails Or anything coming in

Yeah we do But before we do We got to remind Remember that our voicemail segment Is brought to you by The Creepoff voicemail segment Is brought to you by the city of Syracuse Syracuse

Still the leader In LeadPaint Litigation See you in Syracuse. I believe last week we made fun of their basketball team. They are now in the Sweet 16. Are they really? Yes, Syracuse won the first

two rounds, Underdogs in both games. Unfortunately, so are most of the players dates. Underdogs. Sweet 16s. Oh. I was calling them all Petit. Petterists. Boy. Got any voicemails, everybody? Yeah, here you go.

Hey, Van. I wanted to thank you for not being successful enough to have too many ads just listen to WATP and I felt like 80% of it was just ads What fuck And Carl Why did you call and leave a voice I thought this was weird

Hey Vin, it's your boy Carl I just wanted to plug my bookscape com where you can vote on the bills And you can shave your balls Win some money, shave your balls Send me the pictures WATP dot Twitter.com And send me on

thing that you've got. All right. That's exactly right. All the pitches. Vote for Vinny. Well, you heard Carl, vote for Viti and send them all of your shaved ball pictures. It's manscaped.com and my bookie.orgie.orgia. Okay. Romocodes, WATP 20 and WATP. Where would you like the testicle picture sent? Go ahead and just send him to Vittie's Twitter. I don't think that. He'll get them to me. No, thank you. He'll get them. This is somebody who enjoyed last week's episode. Bravo, bravo. This latest episode is fucking awesome. The big sound effects were tremendously, uh, they added to the story.

It was amazing. You guys did a great job this week. Finally, sounding professional. Uh, fuck Carl and carry on. Why can it never just be like a nice message? You finally sounded professional. Is that what he said? Uh, yeah. I hate that shit. I hate it. Oh, this is a pretty good episode for once. Like, what? That's not a compliment, you motherfucker.

I agree. Zinny, Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, he's the people's champ through you and me. He's a making club for carol spent the wheeled as wee. Zinie, Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, Winnie. I love it. Will you send that to the Jingles Department? We'll put some production behind it.

Please do. That is my new favorite. I want it one more time. That's good. Zini, Zinie, Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, he's a people champ to you and me. He's a big and flip of car roasted The wheel this week

Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, Winnie. That's, the man has a beautiful singing voice. He does, and it's a catchy tune. Very much so. And, uh, last one. Hey, Carolyn, Vinny. You know from Montreal here. I'm just calling to let you know that Vinny,

you definitely have the bigger creep, but I'm, uh, I'm loving with a Carl this week. It didn't matter. Vinny, when you talk about the act of hanging in the past tense, it's fucking hanged. Not calling Vinny. Hanged, you stupid fat, fat. Vinny Spinney, 12 foot curls, the people's champ, call me back.

So, this is a guy from Montreal probably speaks French. Yeah. And he knows English better than yell. Who says he's right? I don't know. I'm just assuming. Just because he yelled it. It doesn't mean he's right.

I think that's how that works. Just the louder you are, the louder you are, the more correct you are. Oh, well, then you... Roosevelt is a fat pig. All right. It'll get you elected. So that is this week's voicemails. Thank you.

If you want to leave us a voice, but you call at any time 585, 3-7-1-808. We promise to never pick up. I am ready for the scum parade. Let's go there. Because Vinny's a creep. And Carl's a widow. I'm not kidding around.

They're both a generous psychopaths, but no business in a civilized society. And they're going to take you on a scum parade. So, ladies and gentlemen, this week's Scum Parade, I got to tell you, people have been sending me submissions and making my life so much easier. I got to thank people like cut the grass. I got to thank gangreniously. A good as gold. I want to thank.

Fugsticle. I want to thank. Fugtsicle, 2018, sent me $20,000 the other day. Christina, New York City, 212. Thanks for the PayPal's. Hey, listen. And the creep suggestions. Let's settle down and not get too racy here.

Could you believe that shit? This apology from Paul Shear on how did this get made. I went over on Who Are These Podcasts. Holy shit. I am living in a different world than these people. I'm living in a different world than all of you. My world is covered in pepperoni. Most of my creeps this week came from my man gangreniously.

Gangreniously, whatever the fuck it is. He's the man. He sent me some really good ones. We're going to start in Tampa, Florida. Eric de Tej was charged Sunday with exposure of sexual organ. The arresting officer was at the time responding to reports of a suspicious person. He ultimately found Eric on private premises laying flat on his back with no pants or undergarments on his bottom hands. Not only was he jacketed it, Carl.

Yes. He had his penis in one hand and a large uneaten pickle in his other hand. And according to the police officer, he was using the pickle to penetrate his rectum while masturbating. That's a dilly of a pickle. Why do they have to say uneaten pickle? How would you jam an eaten pickle up your asshole? Of course, it's an uneaten.

Are they implying that it will be eaten? Is this going to be like PTM porn or something? Why is it say un-eaten pickle? He doesn't have teeth in there. That's so... So bizarre to me. Yeah, either way, this guy was just having a good old time. The New York Daily News, they had a shutterstock image of a pickle on this story just to really drive home like, yes, we get it.

They were so excited about this story, a guy jerking out with a pickle on his ass, that they just could not wait to print this story that just really did not need to be printed at all. Yeah. This is a bad look, though, getting caught doing this. Do this at home. It's not going to look good on your resume. Do that at home. If you're going to shut a pickle in your ass, close the door. No, no kinkshaming here.

Right. Just stay home. Yeah. Yeah. So let's go to Lake County. We're going to spend a lot of time in Florida this week, unfortunately. Yeah, it's all Florida, I noticed. Boy, there was a lot of shit that went down this week.

Colby Parker 30 was accused of fatally stabbing his 77-year-old granddad Ronald Wells Sr. on Saturday evening inside the Lake County home, they shared. Parker initially told investigators that he acted. self-defense. He said that the older man attacked him with a knife during a fight. The two had while smoking weed. Now, I have to ask you a question. Yeah. I've never smoked weed with a 77 year old. You and your grandfather didn't smoke weed when you were growing up? Nope. Did you guys get in a lot of knife fights? Nope. So you can't relate to the story at all. I can't relate to the story at all. But I'm just wondering, people don't tend to get violent on weed. Nope, not very often unless somebody

turns on reggae music and at that point I'm pulling the knife out. Get up, stand up. I'm going to kill your ass. So he said that the old man tried to attack him while they were so good weed. He claimed he was then forced to turn the knife on his grandpa whose body was found on the front porch with

multiple stab wounds and his ears were cut off. And police believed him and that was that right? Well no. They were like, hey listen man, we got to talk to you and while he was being interviewed in the case Parker allegedly took his grandfather's ears out of his pants pocket and put him on a table while he was emptying his shit. Like, would you mind emptying your pockets?

Oh, I got my cell phone. Like, I got the keys. Here's grandpa's fucking ear. Right one, left one. So he took some trophies. Yeah, it was all self-defense officer. Yeah, he took some trophies and it kind of made it look like maybe this was premeditated. Right.

And, like, to argue self-defense. Yeah, well, you can't chop somebody's ears off at self-defense. so not even a toll what can you take from somebody in self-defense really that's true you're only allowed to take one tooth okay he then lunged at the deputy while trying to grab the cop's gun and taser the report said police and parker eventually they subdued him he eventually confessed that he wanted his grandfather to be with his deceased grandmother and that it was quote his time to go according to the rest affidavit he allegedly hit wells multiple times ahead with a baseball bat before reportedly stabbing him with the butcher knife and cutting off his ears.

So it's such a... Tell Grandma hi. I know. Tell Grandma, hello. It's such a funny way to kill a guy who's 70. Give Grandma one of these. Jesus Christ. What I love about this guy is his fascination with ears, though.

Yes. And let's keep going here. When they search the house, they found one very very. interesting garment. Yeah. They found an apron in Parker's bedroom that had the phrase, The Family Butcher printed on it, and plastic bloody human ears attached to it with super glue.

Right. So he bad, like, the Mr. Potato had ears. He popped those on the apron and put some fake blood on it. And he's like, I really need to upgrade this. It's just not realistic enough. Grandpa's got some pretty good ears I could put on there. Do you think that he just stood in front of a mirror and put it out? It was like, Romans, country.

had led me or like do you think he was just I hope not to I'm a corny motherfucker Vinny I don't know Michael Rabaport's got something to say about that this dude is fucking corny he's being held without bonds uh yeah this guy um is a lunatic you think

yeah keep keep taking your shots at me by the way Jesus Christ that wheel sit right behind your ass I know all right all right Brody Amir Mosany, 35, he has been charged with a litany of crimes, including sexual battery and practicing medicine without a license. These are some of my favorite stories because I don't feel bad for the

victims in these stories. Like if you're going to some lunatic who's practicing medicine out of a hotel room, you kind of earned it. Got it. Vinnie, I can't believe you're saying this. I 100% agree with you on this. How could you not? This woman goes to this guy's apartment. Yeah, let's get there. there. Police say late January, Mozini met a woman through a mutual friend and told her he was a cosmetic surgeon. He invited the victim to his apartment where he performed various injections to areas of her face, arms and legs, according to the police report. He has also said to have told the victim that he was a gynecologist and could also perform a cosmetic vaginal rejuification. He said, quote, I could give you a designer vagina. Yeah, she wanted the pretty upper pussy. This woman

goes to this guy's apartment to pretty up her pussy and is shocked when they end up having sex. Now, if you go to some guy's house because he says he's going to make your pussy look better, you will be sleeping with this person, whether consensual or not, I don't know. What is he going to do? Put a paper bag over it. There's definitely going to be a chicken mask. Put a little chicken mask over pussy. You are definitely going to have sex with this person.

And I'm not saying it's right, but fucking wise up, Debbie. my wife and I told her this story she went designer vagina what the fuck is that? Yeah women don't know about this but it's very important But she said we should say it Designa vagina

Design a vagina Design a vagina I think it Spitzer was into those I bet he was They cost a lot Moseini allegedly told the victim She did not need the rejuvenation The report said

Police say the victim had a reaction To the injections So he injected a bunch of shit into her face And then like started looking And feeling up her pussy had sex with her, and then she starts having these crazy reactions to all the shit that's now in her face. She lost all of her inhibitions and then had non-consensual sex with him. Police investigation into the allegation showed that Mozani does not have a medical license in Florida.

He also told police that he graduated from medical school in the Caribbean, but that he had not passed the required medical exams that allow him to practice in the U.S. He also admitted that the medical certificates on the walls of his apartment were, fake and printed from the internet. Investigators also found a device used for vaginal examinations, consistent with the story. Okay. Where can you buy these devices? I'd like to pick a couple of those up. The controlled substances found were obtained through the internet, according to the police.

He confessed to performing checkups for people he knew or that would ask for his advice. He said he did not advertise as a practitioner and that all of his patients were referred to him by word of mouth. I find this so crazy. So you read a lot of the boring details in there, but the part at the end where he's harassing other women. Yes. This guy has no game whatsoever. I don't know how this one dummy fell for it.

Yes. So on March 9th, the day before his arrest, police say that at 10 p.m., a woman called the Miami Beach Police report that she was being harassed by a man who later was identified as Moseini at a local gym. She said that while she was at the gym, Moseini walked behind her and started to scream at her.

Just screaming at her. Not a good way to pick up chicks. Calling her names and bumping into her while screaming at her, according to the police. The victim added that as she was walking away, Moseini allegedly threw coffee at her, which he says she caught on camera. Mosey is charged with sexual battery, practicing medicine without a license, drug dispensing without a license, forgery and possession of controlled substances. So I'm guessing that's why he had to pretty much knock this woman out with

drugs because he's throwing coffee at chicks he likes. He hits on girls like a second grader. That's true. He pulled her hair. Yeah, what the fuck is what he just walked up. What he does is when he sees a hot girl like, you know, at a bar, he just walks up and puts bubble gum in their hair.

And that runs away giggling. Hasn't worked yet, but he keeps trying. Fucking asshole. All right. Ladies and gentlemen, our final creep today, hailing to you from Rochester, New York. We got hometown heroes here. USA!

This is a real fun story that made national news, Carl. Are you proud of our city this week? Jesus Christ. Do we ever have a story that's national news that isn't horrifying? We really have been making a lot of national news over the last couple years, and none of it has been good. You're absolutely right. None of it's like the H.L hockey team was really good and won the championship.

That's never the news. It's never like the school district is ranking really well. You don't get a lot of that either. No, no. Police say 53-year-old Stephen Ammon House was intentionally set on fire Friday. What, what, what? Yeah. Two teenagers identified as 16-year-old Zavion Perry and 14-year-old Adrell Riley, Jr., allegedly spray the man with ignitable liquid before setting him aflame as he was sitting in a chair inside his own apartment.

it's going to hurt yeah so apparently he went to the store like the last time everybody saw him he went to like a little store bodega that was across the street yeah he lived in a little apartment he walked back and then like 15 minutes later he just comes ready to the house on fire into the middle of the street and people put him out he had 70 uh he had third second of third degree burns the 70% of his body right he died on tuesday these kids apparently just kicked in his fucking door and he was just he's an old dude with health problems just sitting there they sprayed him with fucking gasoline or whatever the fuck it was and set him on fire that was that this guy too it's the saddest thing you've ever heard so he moved up to rochester from texas or somewhere

was living with his wife his wife passed away then he had a girlfriend then she died he has no family in the area no friends it's he's just this guy living by himself who had the two people that he loved die recently. I mean, this guy was a real jerk. No, the guy was fine. Yeah, so you wanted to know something really fucked up? What's that? These two kids have no relation with this guy.

No. They just picked him out of the blue. And the Monroe County District Attorney's Office says that Perry will be charged as an adolescent offender and Riley as a juvenile offender. So Riley's 14 years old. Yeah. He had a warrant out looking for it. Yes.

He's been involved in a lot of shit. For robbery back in September. Well, he also stole a car. Yep. In January. Two rob, two burglaries in September and October and then stealing a car in January and then setting a fucking man on fire in March. I'm disappointed in this kid.

He could have been a Hall of Famer for us if he hadn't fucked up. This kid had a whole career in front of them of crime and now he's going to be locked away. It's too bad. it's too bad man we could have had this guy for the creep off for many years to come who knows he's young we might let him out that we're dumb like that it's possible so ladies and gentlemen that is this week's creep off hope you enjoyed the show uh we have one more thing to do before we do yeah oh really yeah carl and it's sitting behind your all right this is what i'm gonna do i'm terrible haircut and big bent teeth oh fuck yourself okay the listeners could talk to you like that but you can't i certainly cannot um all right so i'll read through what we have on the wheel and just remind everybody the rule is I remember there was one thing we were supposed to add that we didn't that we might not have added on there so go

through and then we'll discuss it now remember the rule is I'm going to spin the wheel I get the right to refuse the first one but then you get the right to a size caveats when he spins wheel remember when your buddy Vinny would just spin the fucking wheel just spin it to spin it all right let's take a look Carl's like no I have the right of first refusal

and now there's past the spin Jesus Christ yeah I'm the problem All right, this is the part of the show. Everyone points out my bald spot. So I'm going to purposely, like, move the microphone like this. All right, we got 12, two hour handcuffed music. Bald asshole. That's okay.

You're going to make fun of people's hair right now. Are you fucking kidding me? I look great. You look like a fucking seventh grader. Cool. All right. I look young for my age. What's the problem, baldie?

So we got two hours. You have to be handcuffed somewhere listening to the same song over. over again and the song is chosen by the winner right boy do i have one picked for you holy shit i almost hope you land on that one because i have something brutal in mind okay we got the cuties marathon yep you have to watch cuties uh i believe three times in a row okay uh this is the new one pass the spin that would be exciting it then you had a spin on my wheel of consequences day sure we had we combined vic and shamus stand up into one thing yes you have to do an amalgamation of all of their shitty jokes in one set.

And if you land on that, I will sneak you in a new comic night here at Comedy of the Carlson, April 8th, and you will perform it, and we will film it. And my reputation will be shot. Dinner with a listener. Could either be someone local, or we could do like a Zoom thing.

The Adult Diper Challenge. Now, I'm willing to get rid of the Adult Diper Challenge. Okay. And throw in this idea. Remember the live stream we talked about, doing where you have to do like a banana doc style. Oh, right. Ridiculous live stream.

Yes. So I'm thinking it's got to be at least eight hours. No, that's silly. Yeah, I know. It has to be ridiculous. How many hours do you think would be fair? Three? Three hours to fucking bounce her like bananas.

Four hours did we got a deal. Fuck. You have to create your own character. All right. So a four hour filter nonsense stream. I want to meet Carl Hamburger. That's not a bad idea. Hello, everybody, it's me, Carl Hamburger.

I'm going to give you some smackaroos. Oh, my God. Oh, they're out of enough drugs in the world. Okay. You're not looking hard enough. So that's the adult diaper. We're going to replace that one? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. Then we have a podcast cereal is staying on. Yes. Creeps and Roses season two. It's either to be Creeps and Roses season two, or if you land on that today, you're doing that Amy Schumer pregnancy show. Oh, fuck. Okay.

God damn. Yeah, that's called revenge motherfucker. Oh, that's brutal, dude. Okay. Drive to Gary, Indiana, go to Tom Myers' restaurant, seven-second porn challenge. That's where you have to go into a public place, a bus station, a grocery store. Wegmans. And play.

I think it produce department in Wegmans. And play porn on your phone loud for seven seconds. As loud as possible. Hopefully by the cops are always standing around the front. Stuttering John book report. Read Suttering John's book. easy for you to say and write a report on it then we're going to have an actual teacher grade the book report correct live stream from syracuse mall this is a new one yep you spend eight hours at syracuse mall just to join your day you'll spend eight hours at the syracuse mall just to join your day yeah well when my battery fucking dies on my phone don't worry i got one of those extra charger things semenology yep that's right you have to buy the the The autobiology autograph copy of the book.

It is $100 and then you need to be seen reading it in public. These things are so bizarre. Yep. How did we get to this? Truck nuts? Yep. You have to put truck nuts on your car. Some of these things are so different than everything else.

All right. Vinny, I guess I'm ready to go here. Okay. So that's everything? That's everything, buddy. All right, Carl. I am personally rooting for the podcast challenge, but I'm also rooting for the handcuffed music because who are you

in for trouble? All right, let's find out what happens. Maybe it'll land on something I don't want to do and then you can just assign those to me. Okay, please don't land on passing on. Please don't let him pass it on. And away it goes round and round where it ends up will be on

it's almost past the spin. It was so close. What'd you get, buddy? It's the cuties marathon. Yay! Bye! Carl's gets to watch the cuties. three times in a row you can live stream it while you do it

let me ask the chat real quick do people want me to do this or should I pass on this one what do you guys pass on it I get to pick right right cuties marathon brutal you can pass on it that's all right someone asked with or without pants

you won't know a lot of people are telling you to pass why don't you pass Carl well so I'm trying to pass trying to think if the cuties marathon would be entertaining for people because if i'm watching cuties i'm obviously going to have that up on the screen so you did if you watch me watch cuties you would then also be watching cuties right is that what you want cuties is a boring punishment watch it carla do it pass cutie sucks pass pass pass pass do it do it pass easy enough

the wheel has spoken all right the wheel has spoken cuties is that what you're going with Cutie's Marathon of this. Are you sure? Because I'll let you change it right now. I know you will. This is your last test. I explained that part of the rules. And what if I told you this?

Go ahead. What if I told you this? You're trying to convince me now. Okay, go ahead. What if I told you, I promise that if you pass on it right now, I will not make you drive to Gary, Indiana. Well, you already told me what your two favorites were. You were hoping for the podcast cereal. Would you rather spend, or music?

Would you rather spend six hours? well I think cuties is actually two and a half hours Jesus Christ is it really? Yeah so it's like eight hours of watching cuties Your math is off I think there but okay No maybe you're right like seven and a half hours So it's like seven and a half hours of you watching cuties Or you could do the two hour music punishment and get it over with

I don't know Vinnie if we are are just making up which only want to do Then the wheel kind of has no you're the one who came up with this past thing Yeah it's because you put the drive to get to Gary Indiana out there All right, good. Good. Enjoy cuties. Judy's Marathon, it is. When are you going to do it?

We'll get that set up. I don't know. We'll figure it out. I can't wait. You can't wait? You're going to watch cuties along with me, Vinny? No, I'm not.

I think we should do it from this here studio. I don't think so because that would involve me being here. Not going to have it. I think we should do it. Not going to have a goddamn thing to do with it. Ladies and gentlemen, Carl will be watching the cuties marathon. That is this week's creepoff.

Don't forget to vote this week at the creepoff.com. You can email us at creepoff. The creepoff pot. gmail.com, leave us voicemail 585, 37180108, and follow us on Twitter and Instagram at creepoff pod. Don't forget to check out our Reddit. If you're a Discord person, look for the creepoff section in the WATP channel. Carl, it's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. Good gear. She was walking hill, walking on the railway.

I was wearing my wig, shaking and inches, call and switches, Sergeant Hitchin's eyes. But it's not the chubble is. Rosie is a very hot for us. She's basically a disaster. And then after that, of course, he carried on pushing people on DT-U trains. Thank you! This is stupid!

Jesus Christ! Oh Jesus Christ! All right. Hi there, kids. It's your old pal dorkles again with the new edition of the creep-off review section. This week we have three reviews of your favorite podcast featuring good old Vinny Winnie and Hot Carla. Let's get started, shall we? The first one comes from.

user says opi's wife's boyfriend parentheses not bam lastly that's a good user name anyway he says it's titled crozier and it says needs more crozier that guy cracks me up I assume that's what they mean it's spelled K-R-O-G-E-R is Kroger Kroger I don't know Shit. Anyway, thank you for your review. Mr. Opey's wife's boyfriend,

not bam. Next one here is from a user's is R-K-O-N-A. Okay. Here we go. The title is Beat Bachelor podcast out there. I assume it they be best bachelor.

podcast? I don't know. Anyway, here it goes it. It reads 9 minute, 9 minute, 9 minute, 9 minute podcast. Sorry, I was thinking about the theme song of my favorite WATP media podcast. Anyway, I love the fact you supplement the Bachelor content with creeps.

The Skunt Parade segment rules. I wish you could do something like my other favorite podcast on Fridays. They do a Patreon-only show called Drinks by the Dumpster and pretend you need to pay for it but post it on YouTube for free every week

because the host is a mongoloid a bongoloid love you guys really dig the segments with Vic Henley and Carl Ruiz five stars well that was one hell of a long reveal

all right we got one more for you here old Dorkels is really putting his time in this week. This one hears from Toadie Review 7664. I assume that's his birthday and he's

kind of old. So it's called creeps and it says one of the hosts is incapable of pronouncing the word exactly and for some reason is obsessed with the age of consent in New York. The other host doesn't care about

anything except pizza and attention to detail. 1010 would recommend Boy, we got some really crazy people out there Putting the reviews in for this creep-off show You know, I just wanted, Dorkles wanted to take a little bit of time here And just talk about some of the recent developments here in the country I mean, we've been in a lot of turmoil lately

And there was this serious shooting in Atlanta recently And Dorkles just wants to say we should resort to stereotyping people that work at massage parrvers, okay? You know, besides, you shouldn't mess with those people because they know karate, all right? I'm saying, hopefully, you know, the guy that does that shooting, you know, that did that shooting, gets a karate chop to his taint. Just be nice to everyone. It's pretty simple.

Unless those people are in charge of banks in this country, then you should revolt and not bow down to the elite Illuminati. Remember, we go one, we go all. All right, everybody. See you later, Sheepel. Next week, perhaps I'll be back. I don't know. It just depends on what Dorkels is doing. You know, I've got a lot of irons in the fire, as they say.

literally there's irons in the fire all right so we'll see we'll see if i come back we'll see uh if the hosts want me back to do another one of these readings uh we'll see and if you like this uh you know put put put submit your reviews uh for the for the for the for the creep off podcast wherever you listen to it all right and then say something about your old pal dorkels too because, you know, he needs some paydays in here. You know, it's not easy being a cloud of these days, you know. That fucking movie, It really, really busts things up for us. So we're trying, you know, we're out here trying to survive.

So if you want your old pal-durkels to not be eating soup out of a shoe, then, you know, put some reviews in there for us. All right, people. Nighty night, keep your butt on tight. See you later. Thank you.