The Creep Off - Episode 60: Mr.Postman

Episode Date: April 26, 2021

This week Vinnie & Karl mail in their nominations for creepiest postal worker: In the scum parade we meet Parisian Andrew Cuomo a 10 year old NARC and an inconsiderate panty thief: We announce who lost the Patreon contest, and how you can decide their consequence.

Hey, listen, man, before all the mics go live and everything, I just got to talk to you real quick. Okay. Can you do me a favor? What do you need? And please stop dropping my name to get free tickets at the Carlson. Shut the fuck up. It's kind of ridiculous. I heard you went to the ticket booth.

I know people. And Mark had to come out and be like, okay. I happen to know people as well. We'll give him a free one. I want you to know that I know both bartenders who work here now. I'm pretty well in with them. I bet. all I'm saying is don't be a grub

don't drop my name to get free tickets I also didn't leave a tip for the server I figure she had enough money I'm going to think she was doing fine oh god you think it's funny and you laughing don't fucking laugh again I'm going to give the people what they want

sensation horror shock I'm gonna deliver the goods because I'm alive and I'm not backing down. Cuckoo, cuckoo! Hola, creepos. Welcome back to the show that's about creeps, by creeps, for you, creeps. I am your host. The Tower of Power, too sweet to be sour.

The people's champion. Vinnie Pa-Panedao. And ladies and gentlemen, my co-host today, a man whose smile most resembles a bunch of overturned trash cans. It's Carl, everybody. Way to prepare the intro. What has happened in Vinnie Paolino? Great to see you, my friend.

Nothing. I was just waiting for you to smile and show those choppers a little bit to the people. All right. Well, good morning. I didn't give you what you wanted. How are you? I'm doing great, buddy. How are you been? I'm all right. I'm glad to be here with you. Today, I feel a lot better. After making phone calls to every single person that I know, relatives that I wasn't sure had computers. Yep. Yeah, there was a lot of voting late in the game on this week. And I was going for the sweep of about 4-0 from last week. And Vinny, what ended up happening here? What's the? vote at i would like to thank the true believers the creepomaniacs and importantly the merry

marching society for backing me up he's got 55% of the vote please there will not be a sweep we will not be sweeping the legs we will not be flawless victory i just want everyone to know we will not go quietly into the night we will not vanish without a fight we're going to live on we're going to survive we are going to survive we are going to fight another day and today is another day because all I can do at this point is taking one game at a time okay coach you got it coach that's it man I can only take one game at a time you're still technically at game point I have to bring it for four weeks in a row your buddy Vinny's got to bring it so here we go can I get caught up on a couple of housekeeping things real quick if you want so we decided since I

I won the Patreon vote. Yes, there's going to be a poll going to spin a wheel. Okay, the poll's not out yet. Yes, the poll will go up today. Okay. Because I wanted to announce it on this show. So I'm glad you brought it up. Okay.

Carl won the Patreon vote. He got to 50 first. That's right, baby. Thank you for all the Carl Cuzzaroos out there who subscribed to our Patreon and supported your boy, Carl. Since we're talking about this, Vinny, maybe I should play a little music. I'm just... Corrie, Carl.

Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, all right, I'm sorry, go ahead. That's the worst song I've ever heard. Oh, is it, Vinny? Why, do you like this song? Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, Vinny. Yeah, it's catchy. Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, Vinny, Vinny. Much better.

It's good here. V-I-N-N-Y. Oh, he fucked it up. I fucked it up. Does he have an I-E version? He does. Okay, good. Good, good, good.

But you just didn't download that one. I just grabbed that one, though. Oops. You just showed me. That's our boy Matt Farley from Moturn Media. Well, Matt, thank you so much for the lovely new theme songs. Yep. We're going to use those a lot around here, I think.

So what we were talking about was because we explained this on the bonus episode. We just had a fabulous bonus episode for our Patreon subscribers. And we described, I think it was on the bonus episode. Correct me if I'm wrong. I'm losing trash. We did the scum stream. The scum stream. Yep.

where we talked about the fact that because you lost, we're not going to have you spend a wheel. We're going to put the vote out to the people to decide what your consequence will be. And we narrowed it down to three or four consequences. It was three consequences that we have chosen off of the wheel that you get to vote for. I will do one of them. Thank God. I'm not going into like double consequences today. You know how much that would suck.

I know how it would suck. Oh, my God. The number one on the list, because everybody called me a chicken. I'm going to take the knife edge chops if you pick them. Okay. Three knife edge chops is what was a good. greet on. Yes. The live stream from the Syracuse Small and then also dinner with a fucking listener. That's right. Those are the three that you get to vote out and that poll will go up

shortly. All right. So keep an eye out for that. It will be on the Patreon page. It'll be open for anyone to vote. Okay. While you're there, sign up if you haven't yet, join the true believers. We'll make it worth your while. Or Carl's because of ruse. We'll make it worth your while. So ladies and gentlemen, all we can do is play the game today. And today, we put out a theme poll for you this week on Twitter. It was really simple. It was creepiest postal worker. It was creepiest something else and something else.

And those things didn't matter because creepiest postal worker won. It's hard to keep track of everything that we're doing, isn't it? There's just too many polls and contests. I know. And it's a lot. And it's Monday. It's a lot. Do you know how much fun we had on that scum stream?

Do you remember how we laughed and laughed? I had so much fun. It was a Thursday evening. I just felt a different energy. I thought that was one of our better shows. Yeah. So I think we got to keep like the bonus. shows like in the evening when we can enjoy it.

Yes. And just make this work. I agree. About business. Creepiest postal worker it is. Ring that fucking bell, Carl. Well, since I won, I'm going first. It's been a while since I got to fight from ahead.

So here we go. I would like to plug my source for this story. It was Ozarksfirst.com. Thank you, Kroche, for introducing me to this fucking website. It is a new site that covers the Ozark Mountains. And holy shit, is there a lot of no good. happening up in them hills. Today we're going to Springfield, Missouri. My creepy mailman today has been charged with giving one 78-year-old woman on his route a very special backdoor Valentine's

Day delivery. Now, according to court documents, 59-year-old poster worker, Mark Pogue has been charged with first-degree shot to me. You heard me, folks. Sodomy. According to a probable cause statement, a 78 year old woman whose identity was not revealed got a note from her doctor earlier this year requesting that her mail be brought to the door so she did not have to walk to the mailbox or the street to collect it. You need a doctor's note for that?

Yeah. That's a real thing. Apparently, she is so old and affirmed that she cannot walk to the mailbox. Can you please bring that mail to my door? I'm going to need to see a doctor's note before I'm going to do that much. How lazy are these fucking posts?

That also is something I thought about. it doesn't surprise me to all the government workers would make it extra fucking hard to make it do the right thing. Good point. Please. Please.

Fucking coddled postman. I know you're listening, Jay. Now, she got the note from the doctor. The woman told the Springfield police that on different days her postman would talk to her, chat with her.

Oh, how old are you, darling? They would have a nice chat at the front door. The woman also recalled two instances where Pogue gave the woman a hug and a kiss. Okay. And she just thought she had the sweetest mailman, Carl. Sounds like it.

Very friendly. So fast forward to Valentine's Day 2021. Just a few months ago, Carl. Yeah. Poe delivered mail to the woman's house through the garage, which was unusual, but she left the door open because it was snowing. You couldn't get up, walk because of the snow and everything. Sure, sure.

She didn't want to go out and shovel because you can't even go to her fucking mailbox. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. So she says to him because, like, the door's kind of open. She said, could you just put it on the kid? kitchen table. So the mailman takes his shoes off, walks into the house. This is a gentleman. I don't know why this guy's a creep. All right. I'm going to go on my turn now. It sounds like a great. Hold on. Hold on, hold on. Okay. She invited him. How was this woman

again? 78. Okay. Ray Caruth fucking territory. Kellynne Winzo Jr. you meant. Yes. Thanks. So instead of leaving after setting the mail on the counter, the woman said thanks and presumed that he left and then left her living room to go back to her bedroom. And she's 78 years old. So I'm guessing she was probably going back to her bedroom to die. Who knows what else she had fucking planned for the day. But what she didn't realize is that her mailman, Mr. Pogue, followed her. The woman told police Pogue came up behind her, picked her up, threw her down on the bed with her face in the pillow. Oh, that's a Vini move right there. Why is that a Vini move? Oh, I know a few things about you. You bring the wrestling into the bedroom. I know what you're

up to. Yeah, that's right. You're going to submit. Well, at that point, guess what was happening? Now they're having butt checks Sodomache Yep Come on everybody That was a real problem, everybody The 78 year old woman She yelled

Wait a minute Mr. Bowman He undressed her I'm assuming that he assuming that he, like, threw a diaper at the wall or something. Yeah, I was going to say, why the butt? Why is that the go-to? Is that just, like, where it happened to end up or whatever? Any more details?

It was probably the loosest. I don't know. Oh, yeah. But could you just hedge it, like having to take the diaper off to get to the butt? She was obviously flirting with him for all of this time. Oh, yeah, this old tramp. She was definitely leading him on. This old flusy.

Seriously. What do you think is going to happen? of Vanderbilt perfume on whenever the mail came. When a woman invites me into her home, I assume that she wants me to keep her some company. That's what I assume. You assume that she wants you to keep

her in her butt. Sometimes. Sometimes that's the vibe that I get. Yes. Okay. Well, he threw that diaper at the wall. Sprat. The woman says Pogue that got off of her and got dressed. Then he went into the bathroom

and then he left after that. Can you imagine? So he washed up. So he got to get this shit off my cock before I go back to work. Could you, though, imagine getting, like, getting mail from this guy after this situation happened? Like, there's just poopy fingerprints all over the mail. Oh, gross. People's Valentine's Day cards are ruined. You know what?

This reminds me of a song. My name's so shitty. My link's all shitty from the orange. So, the name's all shitty. my legs don't get from your asshole So we cleaned up That's good I'm glad to hear that

That would be gross If we just like walked out of there Without using the bathroom first Yeah So after the incident Women told police That she never saw Pogue again He never entered her home

But investigators started looking into the situation And They started looking into the situation Yeah well they took her to the hospital And like the woman's asshole was the size of a water fucking bottle and they start looking into the situation.

We start looking into the situation. And the first thing they discover is that there's a GPS on all of the postal trucks. Okay. So his truck was at her house 18 minutes that day. So that's how long it takes to fuck a 78 year old

in the ass. Yes. Correct. I get it. And when the police asked him why he did it, he said, I freaking hate the child. That's what he says. said that's funny uh so court records say the woman no longer felt safe in her home after 20 years and had to move she was like so upset by this um i would move out of the ozarks anyway that seemed

a terrible fucking place so it's funny we had a voicemailer who actually got that that earworm stuck in his hat and i feel like now's a good time for me to play it lay it on me i freaking hate vaginas vaginas vaginas really suck And this are the only thing that I like to touch. Call me back. Nick Bates awesome. What a talent that transcends a generation. Seriously.

I mean, he's written songs that we're all just going to be singing for the rest of our lives. I'm sorry, that cut you off. Yeah, you certainly did, but that's all right. In conclusion, my creep, Mr. Pogue is being held in the Green County Jail on a $20,000 bond currently as we speak. Now, here's the thing I'd like to point out today. When we got creepiest postal worker, I had to really spend some time thinking as to who I wanted to put out there as my creep. And I could go with the traditional guy who shoots up all the other postal workers, people going postal. Yeah, sure.

I assume people are like dealing drugs out of mail trucks. I assume that happened. But this is the only mailman I could find who butt-fucked a 78-year-old. And I got to say, I believe that on the creep off, if you butt fuck a 78-year-old woman, you automatically win. I think that should be a fucking rule, no matter what. Your Honor, objection. What's your objection? Leading the voters, Your Honor.

Make it a persuasive case, Your Honor. Very good, Benny. All right. Is it time for me to take it away now? Oh, one more thing. Yeah, go ahead there. On a positive note, forgive me, Carl. You're going to love this fact.

I don't want you at any point. That's fine. Keep going on. Fun fact. Yeah. Apparently in Missouri, the sodomy charge carries a possible life sentence. Okay. So look out in Missouri with all your backdoor shenanigans.

Well, it's rape. It's not sodomy. I mean, it's sodomy, but sodomy's not what the illegal part is. That's what the charge is. He's charged with first degree sodomy. All right. I don't understand the law. I don't want to get into it.

That's all I'm saying. That doesn't make any sense. Go ahead. I would think that if it was welcomed sodomy, It wouldn't be a life sentence. I'm just throwing it out there. I could be wrong. What do I know about Missouri law?

Yeah. All right, I'm going to take you to Oklahoma, Edmond, Oklahoma, 1986. I knew who you were going to pick. On August 19th, Patrick Sherrill was at work. He's a mail carrier. He didn't have a regular shift. So he had to fill in for other guys when they didn't have shifts. So he got inconsistent work and wasn't like on a route that he would get used to.

And so his supervisors didn't really care for his attitude or his work. On August 19th, supervisors Esser and Bland reprimanded Cheryl for his behavior. Fast forward to the next day, August 20th. Okay. Shortly after 7 a.m., Patrick Sherrill came into work with a couple guns, decided to take out supervisor Richard Esser, who had verbally disciplined him the day before. Yeah. Now, he looked for Bill Bland.

The other guy who reprimanded him? Bill Blaine was an hour late to work that day which is pretty fortunate for Billy Blan He was all upset because his kid left the bike in the driveway His wife just caused everything to be late

Yeah to change the tire Yeah it was a really bad day Until it was like the best day of his life It turned out to be Here is a news report From the time that I find confusing And ridiculous Good evening

Here's what's happening At first everybody thought it was a joke Somebody setting off firecrackers in the post office at Edmond, Oklahoma, outside Oklahoma City. But soon it became clear that it wasn't a joke at all. It was a massacre. Who the fuck thought it was a joke? It's 7 a.m. And so I was like, oh, who's playing that break with the firecrackers?

Everyone's a jokester over there at the post office. Well, you know, every postal workers are known for their sense of humor. Oh, yeah, they're always pranking each other. Of course. That makes perfect sense. At first, everyone thought it was like a hilarious joke. Turns out it was a massacre. Sorry, honey, honey, shattered relatives were discovering that someone in the post office had killed 14 people inside, then taken his own life.

That somebody was 44-year-old Pat Sherrill. He shot everybody in sight. Yeah, so Pat Sherrill, actually, I'll give you a little bit more information on this from a little bit of a better news report. Okay. Because that was local news. That was not great. The shooting spree began shortly after seven. As about 100 postal employees were sorting their daily mail.

The suspect, part-time postal employee Pat Sherrill, calmly walked up to his supervisor and opened fire. He was armed with three pistols. Postal employees said he walked almost calmly through the sorting room, reloading and firing the 45, 9mm, and 22 caliber weapon. You shot two people, then he just turned around to start spraying the room. Hmm. I like how people always act surprised on social.

pass act calmly yeah i well that is kind of odd though because it's something you've never done before i'm usually nervous like when we did our first bonus show we haven't done that before you know i'm a little on edge you'd think like shooting up a whole station full of people you'd be a little bit not not for patrick sherrill because he was a marine right oh was he yeah okay because i know more about you're creep than you oh do you yeah do you know about the song that was written about patrick sherrell yeah well just sing it for everyone i will tell you what i have it right here everybody this is a very catchy song. It's a very catchy song by a band Sordham.

Okay. And great lyric. Cheryl came to work at 7 a.m. He shot two people outside before he went in. He entered the building and closed the door. And inside the post office, he shot a few more. He shot people under their desks. People played dead to survive.

A few people tried to get out. But Cheryl continued to shoot. You know that, Sugg? It goes like this. before you went deep after the building and close the north and decided for something

she shot a few more he shot people under the desks People protect to survive And people try to get out And share And you're on to dig in to show No

Catch you did it, huh? Somebody made an interesting point Obesity Death March Who's watching live said the only reason I know about this guy is because of Seinfeld when Newman bet the guy's postal carrier bag. Oh, okay. Yeah, so.

It was a pretty big story back in the day. Yeah, it was kind of a big story. It's kind of why going postal was coined in the first place. In 15 minutes, Patrick Sherrill shot 20 coworkers, killing 14 of them before killing himself. And that is my creep. Oh, because he got reprimanded by a couple supervisors. He had to go and kill everyone. Right.

That is my creep. And we'll let you vote, what the good people vote. and decide if it's time for Vinny Spinney to get the wheel. Next week. A 78 year old woman, ladies and gentlemen. Sing along if you know the words. Come on, everybody.

Shad of me. A 78 year old woman. Shad of me. You'd think a little kid can't white. Holy shit. Shad of me. The Creepoff voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse,

located conveniently between the city of Rochester and hell see you in Syracuse that's a good way to describe Utica so uh I have to take a second and read an email quickly before we start because our friend Cameron came up with a way to make our lives easier when it comes to the wheel of consequences oh great and how we can have multiple wheels with different consequences on them is it have to do with ones and zeros by any chance not quite exactly okay because there are like really super easy ways around this if we wanted to. He sent me

this image that he, I think affectionately named Vinny is a dickhead. This is how it was laid. But this is what he came up with. How good is this? So what it is is we just give each one of these things here a number. Right. And then we just

have an overall list of what wheel course consequence. Hosts have to kiss. Tamp to bike ride. Don't have the patron. for stuttering john fuck that shit oh my god i'm pissed that uh doctor's team wants to give him a thousand bucks guest victory wheel oh my god we're a mega hat in new york city this is great i like this one right here for the patreon reel scream at people about god on the

sidewalk we'd fit right in in some places in rochester go to a mark multi-level marketing thing that's hilarious walk on nails no thanks uh lose 20 pounds that should be on there somewhere Go fuck yourselves. Get punched in the mouth. Do you have to provoke someone to do it or are they in on it? I don't know. I like this one. This is a good one.

Both share a giant shirt for an entire scum-stream on the song. I'm telling you right now, Cam came up with the greatest ideas. And some of these are going to end up on a wheel somewhere. Those are good. Those are really fucking funny, Cam. Great job. Love you, pal. You're the best.

Let's talk about some voicemails, shall we? Yeah, I got one. one here, Vinny. No one cares. They're usually not nice to me when they call you first. Yeah. Have you noticed that? I think there is a reason for that, too.

Because I don't play them. This is for the creep-off. I'm calling this line, because any time you talk shit about Vinny on the creep-off line, he doesn't play the fucking voicemails, because his ego is too fucking fragile to do it with a little ribbing. Anyway, modus operandi is M-O-not-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-P fucker. Vinny, is this true?

Do you not play the voicemails that are critical of you? No, I play a million of them all the time. I play a million of them all the time. I don't know. There's some of them that are just stupid. Here's an interesting consequence idea, Carl. Got an idea for the wheel of consequences. The person that lands on it, the loser, I guess it would be,

has to make a very public spectacle about donating some amount of money to Cuomo's reelection campaign. Fuck that. I think like 500. But that might be a lot of fucking money. So I'm thinking, I don't think we're going to do that. But I think what we should do is, what we should do is. What Cuomo's going to need is bail.

I think $100 to Cuomo's legal fund. Yeah, right. Legal fun. Yeah, that would make more sense. Jesus Christ, that's a terrible consequence. That's a funny one. I would laugh my ass off because, like, if you got that, what you get on the list, they're going to be calling you all the time.

Oh, it would be so much fun. Oh, yeah. Oh, of course. Yeah, they'll have my fucking phone number. I'll be getting text messages. Yeah. Carl, could you just, if you want to plug your shit, just plug it. You don't have to keep calling and leaving voicemails.

It's fun, though. Hey, Vitty, it's Carl. Due to your slanderous and libelous accusations against my chin and my feet and my teeth, I've been forced to bring a lawsuit against you. Luckily, the first consultation was free at Kevin Landau.com slash WATP. Go there now, vote chicken a cow. Whose tits caused you the most damages? All right, Vinny, Winnie.

worked in a lot of good references there that was quite a good landau um so i was talking to vince sudden john's former attorney it's on episode of watp and we were talking about how we've gotten goofed on by a lot of people on the internet because you put yourself out there and it's going to happen yeah and viz goes oh yeah what do they say about you and i kind of like go through the list of all my all the problems with me he's like yep i see that yep your teeth do suck okay yeah he's a fucking troll that guy no carl the problem is you're an actual physical troll is the issue. Fair enough. In spite of that, we have been offered a amount of money by a gentleman who called left us a voicemail. Carl, tell me if this makes you uncomfortable or not if we want to

go for this. Okay. Hey, guys, this is kind of embarrassing, but as a gay man, I had a proposition for $5,000, I would like to come to Rochester, New York, suck on Vinny's beautiful, beautiful kits, and gently kiss his nipples as Carl jerks my pud with his little awful club fee. I blow my load of goo all over Vinny's beautiful pits. Five grand. Please make my dreams happen. I love you, Vinny. You sexy animal, you and your beautiful, beautiful pits.

Carl, your club feet make me hard. Love you guys. Ever since you dyed your hair. $5,000, Carl. I would do it for $6,000. $5,000 is a bit low. Yeah. Dr. Steve.

We get an extrathalysis. So let's talk about that for a second. For those of you who did listen to WATB yet this week. Who's that? Yeah, Dr. Steve came on our show. Dr. Steve from Weird Medicine. Yeah, on Sirius XM. Also, big fan of his.

Formerly, big part of the Ope and Anthony show, to a little bit of stuff was starting. He's been around for a long time. If you're a radio fan, you know. You know what Dr. Steve told me, Vinny? He was more nervous to come on WATP than he was going on Opie and Anthony for the first time. And do you know why that is, Benny? Because he was afraid you were going to bite him

Because I'm a fucking asshole That's pretty much why He's like Criticize everyone for everything they do At least Opie and Anthony Were in a like professional environment Yeah Like you knew that nothing was going to happen to you

They weren't going to completely like ruin you Yeah they want to put out a good show They want to make everyone sound good Yeah So either way Dr. Steve apparently talk to you And what does he want to do? He wants to offer Stuttering John $1,000 To do an episode of the creep off

Because me and Stuttering John And I got to tell him Yeah, yeah, once again, I dropped the ball because I have so many conversations on shows and I forget what they are, but it was our bonus show. So if you're not on our Patreon, you wouldn't know Vinny told the whole story about how he was trying to do behind the scenes, get Stuttering John to do a show with him, even offering John money. Yeah, I tried really hard. Dr. Steve heard this and he said, well, maybe you're just not offering him enough. I'll put up $1,000 of my own money if we can get Suttering John. Now, I've seen some activity on Twitter.

It looks like John's manager. Was it just sitting contacting Dr. Steve? So this might happen, I think. Yeah, I wonder how much of a cut the manager is for seeing. He's like, finally, some money off of John. Seriously. Long overdue. There you go.

I got a couple of voicemails here, Ben. Okay. Go ahead. I got a couple more over here, too. Oh, okay. It looks like you were ready to move on. Well, no, I want to close out with mine. It's a big deal.

Okay, cool. So creeps and roses you wrapped on. Yeah, done. Never coming back. And everyone loves creeps and roses. No, they don't. Coz of Root, Carl. You got up for creeps and roses.

roses back on the wheel of consequences. Vaney just doesn't get it. The creep off is do you party. Creepes and roses is a briefcase. So get that fat fuck back on the wheel of consequences.

If he loses, creeps and roses part deuce. I'd put it up there. Creeps and roses, that sounds like a good idea. Creeps and roses forever. Okay. That's the better show. It's better than the creep off. I would do.

this, Carl. I would put Creeps and Roses season two on the board, but you'd have to host it too if you land on it. That's true. That's a good point. And then you would have to watch an entire season of the bachelor. I wouldn't put as much work into it as you did. That was insane. That was insane. And you had to host with PJ?

Jesus. I know. You just had to host a show with them so you know my brain. This caller agreed with band practice guy who called in last week about imbecile Wilhelm's disappearance. Okay. Hello, Carl and Vinny. I I actually agree with

Braint practice guy. We all should have Emissile Wilhelm call back in. The only thing he should call back in about is how he retarded spells, Oregon! So I can get that embroidered on a chef coat because we all know

who has true creep off voicemail supremacy. Prep boy, Rick out. Uh-huh. All right. So, uh, ladies and gentlemen, he heard band practice guy. He heard band practice guy. I'm excited.

here he is folks the return of the greatest collared voicemail history I rebuild this up a lot straight from Syracuse New York now imbecile here sorry for ghosting you creep off but I made a vow to only call if I had something funny to add and ever since the beginning of the Harris administration I have lost my sense of humor Oh, no.

In response, I did the only thing I knew I could, and that was to move to Portland, Oregon, and join Antifa. I am too self-sealious to make jokes or to listen to funny podcasts. I spend my days now punching old ladies and stealing items from high-end boutiques. Thank you band practice guy for calling me out of retirement. I will see you on the other side. Oregon. Oregon.

Oregon. And like the wind, he was gone. Oh, very good. Good to have you back there, Missile Wilhelm. I always knew he was part of Antifa. It's always nice to know. I always knew that. He landed at his feet.

I had a feeling about that. Yeah. Well, sounds like he's having a great time. Good, good. All right. I guess that would make a time for the scum parade. God, that was a long voicemail cycle, wasn't it? Oh, too long.

I believe you. Watch out for the scum parade. Oh, no, it's the scum parade. Oh, no, it's the scum parade. For a guy for the scum parade. Making Vinny's day. We're starting off in France, Carl. Yes, we are.

We are. Georges Tron, who is once a central government minister under Nicholas Sarkozy, and current mayor of the town of Draveille, a southern suburb of parents, has caused quite a bit of controversy. He sure has. In fact, many groups want him removed from his position. Why you ask? Well, people got a little upset after he was convicted of rape.

and the sexual assault of a junior staff member at the town hall office. Oh, interesting. So they do that in Europe as well, uh? Yeah. It's not just a New York state thing? Yeah.

Who knew that freaking Cuomo was so Parisian? Right. Like, who knew? I always thought he was Italian. The 63-year-old was given a five-year-sentence, two years of which were suspended. He has denied the charges in lodging appeal with the French Supreme Court.

Tron has been allowed to continue running his municipality of 30,000 people, from a prison cell for the last few months. Now, people are outraged by this. The opposing party is outraged by this. Yeah, it's a town of 30,000 people. What decisions are they making? Oh, let's put a four-way stop on LaRue Boulevard.

Who gives a shit if this guy's running it or not? Yeah, they want to bribe him. They just put money in his commissary. They just put him cigarettes. Yeah. So he's refused to resign. And according to reports in the Guardian, he continues to communicate with his advisors by letters

describing his current incarceration as an impediment. Yes. A municipal council meeting was held earlier the week with members of Tron's staff reading a letter sent from his cell with instructions regarding the town's budget. I love it. Can you imagine this shit? So you probably think this guy is worse than Cuomo, right?

But how many old people did he execute? How many, Vinny? Not a one. Not a one. For my knowledge. The reason why the government hasn't like removed him and why he hasn't been removed, is because he's still appealing and they just can't. They're not allowed to do anything until his appeal is done because I guess that's the law.

He was convicted of rape. Yes. And he's still running the city. Yes. It's got to be something that they want to maybe change in the future. They might want to put it a new law or rule on that. He was also originally cleared of rape and sexual assault in 2018. Two former municipal employees accused Tron, who they say claimed to be an expert reflexologist,

of forcing them to engage in foot massages. Oh, boy. That turned into sexual assaults in 2007 and 2010. So, Vinny, I actually have audio of him pleading his case in 2018. Please. Yeah, this is interesting. Is it as bad as eating her pussy out? No.

There's the same fucking ballpark. Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop right there. Even a bitch out and giving a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same fucking thing. It's not. It's the same ballpark. Ain't no fucking ballpark neither. Now, look, maybe your method of massage difference. from mine. But you know, touching his wife's feet

and sticking your tongue in the holiest the holies ain't the same fucking ballpark. It ain't the same league. It ain't even the same fucking sport. Look, fuck massages don't mean shit. I think he made out a compelling argument there. I don't know. I was let go. Yeah. I would have thrown that guy right out of window. Now, Orange County, California. A 22-year-old man pled guilty Monday and was immediately sentenced to more than six years in prisons for breaking into the residents of three female

college students in the city of Orange. Now, when he broke into these houses, Carl, he helped himself to refreshments and was using a laptop computer belonging to one of the residents to download porn and commit a sex act. Oh, who downloads porn? Well, when it's not your laptop, you can pretty much do whatever you want to. That's so 1999. You could sign up for all the free trials, everything. It's fucking great. You really should password protect your laptop. I don't know if everyone knows that, but it's probably a good idea. Jonathan Jose Ruiz. of Orange accepted a plea deal from Orange County Superior Court Judge, who sentenced the defendant to six years and eight months behind bars. Ruiz was given credit for 511 days

behind bars, according to court records. He originally did this in 2018. Police said that he broke into the home on October 4th, went through the residence underwear, and then left his semen on the computer as well after downloading pornographic images and viewing them online. He also had milk and cookies that were in the fridge. That wasn't milk. he really should have cleaned up after himself he had girl panties in his hand and he couldn't wipe his semen off the computer I'm telling you man he just was sitting there

he's like I could download this let's see if I could sign up for the porn hub premium extended Is this the same guy who's suing Twitch It might be Seam it all over his keyboard When he was arrested he was in possession of two pairs of underwear belonging to the victims

among other items. The defendant's DNA was in the system due to his conviction for vandalizing bathrooms in his high school a year earlier. So they took his DNA just for that infraction and they just took his come off the laptop,

ran it through a fucking board, and like go find this guy. And when they caught him, he had the girl's fucking panties in his pocket. So the guy's a fucking moron. Yeah. I would say so. You don't want to leave evidence behind, especially if you know that your DNA is on file. Yeah, well, he'll have six years of hijinks in prison. So good luck to you there, buddy. Now, this is a fun one.

Divorced parents. Carl, did your parents get divorced? They did not. Really? You didn't drive them apart? I tried. Okay. Well, a Washington woman was found guilty of first-degree solicitation and commit murder after she tried to convince her 10-year-old son to kill his father last summer. You got to do your own dirty work. I don't like that. This woman named Vanessa Valde Galacius Lavelle. We'll just call her Vanessa. Who cares? She's 37 years old of Mount Vernon

was convicted on first-degree solicitation to commit assault with a noxious substance after telling her son to put rat poison in her estranged husband's food and drinks. Red poison? Is people poison? Who knew? Not a 10-year-old. According to the prosecuting office,

the county sheriff's sergeant reached out to Mount Vernon police about a child protective service referral that included an audio recording involving the mother, giving instructions to one of her children on how to kill the child's father. An officer wrote in a probable cause affidavit. This is the secret between you and me to keep forever, Vanessa told her son in the recording.

See, this is why I hate Project Veritas. Because they're encouraging everyone to be a snitch and record everything that's going on and get audio and video. Every time you're in a murder-for-hire scheme. Yeah, you've got to air your family's dirty laundry all over the internet because of Project Veritas taught you how to do it. Vanessa told her son in the recording, the affidavit says that she and her husband are in the midst of a divorce that have been separated for about five years.

So Fendon's secretly recorded the conversation with his mother when she told him if he would put, quote, venom and his father's food and wine, they would quote, be together forever and ever. Gross. Yeah, I want to be together forever with my mom. And my dad. Yeah, I want to hang out with those two. A couple of squares. A video just got real for a second there. No, I mean, my God, you think about this.

Everybody, you want to be with you really want to be with your family in eternity? What kind of square would want to do that, Vinny? Like, everyone thinks of their childhood is the most idyllic time in their lives. And you think back about all the times you're around your family and stuff like that. If I think about that, I immediately start to have anxiety attacks. Like, fuck it. I know. Obviously, it didn't work.

Obviously, it wasn't the right argument to make to get the kid to kill his dad. So the cops basically went and found this one. woman. They sat her down and they lied to her. I love when cops do that. They know what they have the evidence and then they try to get you to get you to. They know what she's up to. So they say, hey, listen, uh, your ex is dead. Did he ever, uh, mentioned wanting to hurt himself or anything like that? And after she threw a giant party for all of her friends. She came back and said, she went, woohoo. No, uh, she just said, uh, that he had previously threatened to kill her, the boys and himself, that there was a history of domestic violence, she and her and the husband.

She denied ever thinking about killing her, hurting her a strange husband. When asked what should happen to the boys if her husband passed away, she said she should get custody. Well, I mean, that, of course. Where else would the kids go? When she was told that it looked like she was telling her kids how to kill them, she talked about being scared for her boys and she was teaching them how to protect themselves from him. Okay. Yep, yep.

So an officer interviewed the son who said his mother laughed and giggled about putting rat poison on the food. I like edgy humor, but you. I know. I mean, maybe she's a fan of this show, and we just got her all wrong. She has not been sentenced yet, and that's the story there. But she tried to convince her 10-year-old to murder the guy. Yeah. I mean, a couple juice boxes.

Like, why just bribed the kid. True. Yeah, because we'll be together forever was not a good. Exactly right. That's not the reward the kid's looking for. Not the incentive that you need there. Fortnite dollars or whatever the fucking kids want. Fortnite bucks.

I'd make funny about even know if that's right or wrong. I don't know either. I don't even know. Someone in the chat, though, wants me to know that LaRue Boulevard would be the dumbest name for a street because LaRue means street and French. I just thought it sounded good. I'm a dummy. So either way, I don't know. to really bribe him. You got to be smart with what you do for him.

Stop filming every conversation with your mom telling you to murder your father. I'm on some dodge coin mom. No one likes a tattletail. Nobody likes a tach coin. Yeah, doge coin, whatever the fuck it is. I always like to end strong. A Painesville man whose daughter died in a mobile home for 2019 has pleaded guilty to second degree murder for starting the fire that killed her.

Fuck you, Benny. What did I do? This story fucking sucks. Oh, this upset. this one upset me this is a fucked up story my notes on this story yeah just this fuck you minnie i understand you could send your fuck you to our pal alex because he sent me this story fuck you alex he sent me a bunch of these stories today so god bless this kid jamie newport died on july 23rd 2019 in a fire at her home in painsville she was 22 her father john sean newport 48

entered the guilty plea last monday so here's what happened he accepted an aggravated sentence of 18 years in prison. The aggravated sentence comes after a court ruling that the crime was committed with particular cruelty. The father John had been living with Jamie in the mobile home, and she'd been paying all of the bills. The afternoon of the fire, he allegedly asked his daughter to drive him to a hardware store, and when she refused, he began slamming things around the house and arguing with her. He allegedly decided to, you know what I'm going to do? I know it'll teach her. She won't take me to the hardware store? Well, I'm going to burn the fucking house down. And then I'll have to go to the hardware store because I'll have to build

a new house. That was not his strategy. Okay, I just thought that maybe it might be because it's the only thing that made sense to me. So he set the house on fire after she said she was going to move out. Newport allegedly poured gasoline in the home and on his

daughter's beloved kittens. She had four little baby kittens. And there was a picture of them in this fucking article which I did not need. And he did this in front of her and set the cats on. And set the cats on fire first. Friends told law enforcement that Jamie Newport have been depressed and that she used the four kittens' comfort during her depression. On Facebook, she called them her babies. If Jim

Florentine had read that, he would have just been mocking this woman on his podcast. What are you a cat, mom? You gave birth to a cat? Did it claw up your uterus? Oh, yeah, you gave birth to four kittens, did you? Did you? Oh, my God. How hairy is your pussy lady? So he set the kittens on fire in front of her, knowing his daughter's dependence on the pets for comfort. He did this to inflict severe emotional psychological distress. Nailed it. Yeah. In the recorded 911 call, Jamie Newport told the operator that her father had poured gasoline in the house and on her kittens.

She said he had gasoline on, she had gasoline on herself too. In the recording, she could be heard saying her father was starting the fire. She screamed that her kittens were on fire. and she had to save them. A Painesville Police Department officer arrived at about the same time the phone line went dead. He could hear Jamie Newport screaming and tried to enter the home using a fire extinguisher, but he was unable to reach her through the flames. She was found in the home's bathtub with the shower running,

but efforts to revive her were unsuccessful. She died of smoke inhalation. She didn't escape, which she easily could have, because she wanted to save her kittens that were on fire. This is the worst story you've ever read in the show, and I just want to put it out there. Fuck you, Vinnie. What I do?

Did I set the house on fire? Did I burn the kittens, Carl? What a way to add to the show, huh? That was a lot of fun. I had a great time today. I hope that you'll vote for Mark Pogue today. Just because we decided to include that story in the scum parade, please vote for Carl. Wait a minute, Mr. Bow's Man.

Wait, hey, hey, hey, Mr. Bowman. Vote for Mark Porg, Mr. Backdoor delivery. I got to, I got a light in the moment. move real quick, Vinny. All right. Hey, listen. So I hope you enjoyed the show. You can vote at the creepoff.com.

And while you're there, click on that little link. Join us over on Patreon. We got a couple of bonus episodes up now. There's going to be some more bonus episodes. but it has been decided this is the big announcement for the end of the show our first hall of famer in may our next hall of famer ladies and gentlemen you voted jessica yonis and our boy kaya will be joining us for it'll be exclusively on the patreon so check that i am looking forward to that because he she has still been up to no good even since we did that episode are you telling

me that he she didn't learn his lesson that's what i'm telling you didn't learn their lesson didn't learn their lesson? Canada is fucked. Yes, they are. All right. We'll see you next week. Until then, it's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. Good gear. Shy to me. Splat! This is stupid!