The Creep Off - Episode 64: A Big Version of Fat Elvis

Episode Date: May 24, 2021

In this episode Vinnie & Karl make their nominations for Creepiest Social Worker: In the Scum Parade we meet a brand new serial killer from south of the border, a Shoe Salesman who really really liked his job and finally we learn why Myrtle Beach was not made for lovers.

Are you ready for a show, Carl? I am ready, buddy. All right, well then. To Oz. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation, horror, shock. I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive, and I'm not backing down. Gooku, goon.

It's disgusting, vomit-inducing thing. Ola! Creepos! Welcome to another fantastic edition of everyone's favorite podcast. The show about creeps. Buy creeps. For you, creeps. It's the creep-off.

I am your host. I'm the Tower of Power. Too sweet to be sour. I'm funky like a monkey. Sky's the limit and space is the place. The people's champion. Vinnie Paulino, that's me, baby. And my co-host, he's a piece of garbage.

There he is. It's hot, cuck-c-c-c-cara. What is happening in Vinny? Long time, no C, my friend. Dude, I have to say, I thought I'd be sick of you. But when I saw you today, we just did a three-hour who are these podcasts. Yeah, when I saw you come around the corner to come down to the studio when you were on time and early. You nearly assaulted me because you thought I was an intense.

Truder. Yeah, because I would never expect you to be that early. I did was like about to do an Elvis judo move on Carl. He really was pose like that. Yeah, I was like pose like fat Elvis ready to just grab his arm and flip him because I didn't know who was in the building. You're like a big version of fat Elvis. A big version of fat Elvis. Yeah. Hey. Now folks, we got a good episode for you today. We put out a poll and it was very simple. It was a principal. It was a principal. It was accountant and it was creepiest social worker and those are all boring jobs sure and i got to think that there's got to be creepos hiding in such boring boring places that accountant is a pretty boring job the other two do involve children yeah which is can get creepy from time to time as

we've learned on this show yeah there is no place your kids will be safe is what we've learned that's what i've learned yeah i've been doing this show for a little over a year and what i've learned is i'm really glad i never had children let me tell you something your kids kids right now are in peril. And you have no idea. They might be at school. There's got to be five, six, seven fucking pitoes in the school at least. That's why people listen to the show.

Peace of mind. Peace of mind is what you get from this show. All right, baby, before we get into that, though, we got to talk about last week. We had a guest on. Oh, we don't want to tell them what we picked. We had a, it was social worker, by the way. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, you're good.

We're doing social worker. It was what people voted for. It is. But before we get into that, we got to talk about the voting. from last week because there were three of us on the show, which always throws a monkey wrench in the voting. So where did we net out on that? Now, here's what I adore. I just hit reset. You love it when we have the third person in the studio because sometimes, you know, when you're behind, they'll cut into the lead of the other person and you could squeak out of

victory that way. Okay. Well, not for you this week. Dickhead. Not going to happen. So, Vinnie's got 38% of the vote compared to my 34% of the vote. And McBride with 28%. Very respectable. 29%. Yeah, I mean, it was a close race. Tom Cruise was a good pick. Yeah, absolutely.

Creepie is Syracusian. I honestly think he did way better than he deserved to with that. Yeah, I agree. So good job. Good on you, McBride. People do love a third party, though. They like a third party candidate. Now, listen, Brian's a very funny guy.

He's going to be on Creeps and Roses season two. Okay. He's definitely beyond it, but I have not been able to get a hold of PJ. He's ghosting me, dude. Weird. He disappeared. He lives for Creeps and Roses. I know.

One of the last conversations I had was, you made me hate The Bachelor. It was one of the last things he said to me. Uh-oh. Yeah, so I'm trying to get PJ back. If anybody knows him. But anybody knows about PJ's whereabouts. We're just concerned over here. Yeah, yeah.

I want to make sure the little fellow's all right. I imagine he's a little guy. Do you? Yeah. I don't know. I just imagine just like a little tiny. I guess everyone's a little guy compared to you. I guess that makes sense.

Solid point. Fat Elvis, but fatter. That's me. This is all ending up now. All right, kids. We're going to do creepiest social worker. Today, I'm very excited that I now have a three-oh lead in this round. You get to live my pain that I was dealing with last round.

I am thrilled about it. Can we pump the brakes on this victory for Vinny this round? I mean, I just got my consequence, Don. I just watched a marathon. of cuties five hours of cuties and I learned could have done it two months ago I learned at the very end that you can watch Netflix movies at 1.5x or 2x speed I find that at the end of watching cuties for a third time in a row I said this on wATP the guy who told you this yes sent me a private message on Twitter after to say hey Vinnie I just want to let you know at the end of the

stream I told Carl did you know you could watch the exact two X speed and he was not happy I I was not happy about that. I stood up where I was. I was at a barbecue, and I stood up and just started clapping and just laughing. I was so happy. So fans, God bless all you. You're the best. God damn.

Can we put that back on the wheel and I'll just start watching things at 10x speed? No. No. No, now we're never doing that again. How about this? How about you have to watch me watching The Godfather? You know what? Fuck you, Carl.

Could it be like a movie that's good? Fuck that. We're doing it. You have to watch cuties on half speed. Three times at half speed. Cudies. That's it. That's going back on the wheel.

That movie is brutal. Cudies in slow motion. Thanks for those who hung with me. Hanged, hunged? Yeah. Thanks for those who hung with me while I did watch that. You got me through it and I appreciate it. You know, Carl, I hate to say this.

I really, you know, we joke about our fans. Like, we would never want to have a meal with them or anything like that. Oh, yeah. Joke. Yep. Mm-hmm. I'm just saying we have really good fans. They're very good people. They're very cool.

And actually, did we not confirm that you will be part of the WATP live show, August 28th, in Lombard, Illinois, outside of Chicago, the Chicagoland area. Come see live creep off that night. Same theater. I'm just going to do the creep off. I'm not going to hijack WATP. We can work out a creep off segment on the show for sure. Oh, good, good, good. So come see the creep off live.

There is a meet and greet. There are VIP tickets that you can purchase. at WATPLive.com. Yep. And Vinny will be there. I will be there. Kroge, Andy. Now,

could we work this like a wrestling tent where like people have to buy autographs from each of us or buy pictures with all of us? Oh yeah, I expected to have my 8x10 sitting in front of me for sure. Right, right, right.

Well, I'm saying like if I could have my own table. Yep. Yep. We'll each have our own table. Very good. Don't make eye content with us. Absolutely. Give us the 15 box.

Take your signs up. Fifteen. You charge it every you want there, man. You've never headlined at Edge Night at Helium in Buffalo. $50. We're not going to do that. I promise you. There will not be any eight by tens.

Although that would be humiliating and hilarious. If we had video of that, all of us sitting there with nobody coming up to us. Instead of Lonely Virgil, it's going to be Lonely Vinny.com. Yes. I need to see those Photoshop, please. Lonely Vinny.

Lonely Viny. Oh, thank you. So it is the creepoff. It's episode 64. It is creepiest social worker. Are you ready to do a contest, Carl? Yep, you're up first. Let's do it.

Okay, so you said this out of the gate. You said, you know, two of the categories we had this week, options were pretty clearly involving children, and that leaves the door open to pedophile pretty fucking wide. It does. And your boy, Vinny, couldn't do it. I did not want to go down that path because people get so... too much of it.

We don't like pedophiles. In fact, you know what we think of pedophiles? I denounce it. That's right. I denounce it. Oh, you got a new drop. No, we've had that for a while. Okay.

We denounce pedophilia. Yeah. So the creep off is anti-pedophiles. No shit, Sherlock. No shit. I'd love to see the podcast that comes out on the other side of that. This is stupid. So I've just said, I didn't go down that road.

I didn't even go rapist or murderer. What do you think? get that, Carl. I didn't even go rapist to murder. I'm not enjoying this whole tease session that we're doing right now. Get to the fucking story. What's going on? I like to tease.

I get to go first because I'm winning three to nothing. So shut your fucking mouth. My person's first name doesn't start with a G. What do you think about that, Vinny? Oh, my God. Your teeth are so punchable. You're so boring. Can you punch them into alignment?

Okay. Okay, fine. I would love to. I think my person today is creepy. It'd be a consequence. Fix your teeth with a fist. Going on the wheel. Where is my fucking Sharpie?

I'm writing it in Sharpie so he can't erase it. Because we're going to rearrange him a bunch, uppers and lowers. So I think this person is creepy because they are in a position that requires empathy towards your fellow humans. For sure. My creep not only shows no empathy, she, that's right. Ooh, with the lady. She has only seen. served her own self-interest to the detriment of the people she was supposed to help.

Now, in 2017, my creep, her name is Candace Talley is 27 years old. She's newly out of college, and she's a recent hire at the county's office of children and youth services. Oh, it's a high-paying position right there. Good for her. Well, right out of the big bucks. Right out of college. That's got to pay a good $22,000 a year.

Let me tell you something. You've got to supplement the income. And that's what my girl Candace does here. Yes. Talley uses her power as a foster care case manager to exploit a mother whose children were in the system, Carl. The mother who's not named for a very good reason was assigned to Talley as her manager. When Candice looked at her past criminal record, she decided to offer her a business proposal, Carl. Okay, good. She said, you know, I think you and I can make some money together.

And when she took this job with Children and Family Services, she didn't put on her application for the job, her side moonlighting position, which is a runner for a prostitution ring. Yes. She didn't put that on her application, shockingly. And basically, she said, here's the deal. I will allow you to make up to $1,000 a day. You're going to get favorable reports from me. I am going to put favorable placement for your children. I'm not going to put your kids in the system who at this house where they're all covered in lice and bruises,

because we still don't care about any of these kids any fucking way. We'll put them in a nice house, you know, maybe in the suburbs. And I also promise that all of your clean, all of your piss tests are going to come back nice and clean. Right. And all you have to do. Come get on the. She turned out the mothers of kids that were in the foster system, Carl. Yes.

Authorities say that Talianliss had multiple women to work as prostitutes, drove them to and from their jobs, and took a 25% portion of their money. That's that. That's reasonable. That's pretty reasonable. With transportation, too? Yeah, man. What are their benefits were they getting? Any time off, paid leave, anything like that?

I don't know. but I got to tell you, for Candace, she was working hard. Yeah. And basically, she was working for another ring of pimps and madams. She wasn't the mastermind behind. No, she was just a soldier. They were just like, hey, oh, you got a job working for the county. Well, we'll pay you some extra.

You'll get a piece off of each one of these girls. And all you have to do is just find the attractive ones that are fucked up enough that'll go for it. and she just got the job. This isn't someone who'd worked there and became disillusioned with the system and tried to take advantage of it. This girl's fresh out of fucking college. You know, you started this up by saying

how selfish she was, but she's giving this woman a job and income and allowing her to continue to do what she loves, which is drugs. She's abusing her children. She's exploiting the fuck out of these women. Yeah, well, you know, you look at one way, I look at the other.

So she started in 2017, and then in January of 2020, Uh, she was arrested because this whole prostitution ring got busted. They all fucking, uh, went in. And then one of her clients rolled over on her. Now, this is what pisses me the fuck off about this story, Carl. Oh, okay. And what makes this just.

What makes you arrange there, Biddy? She did this to a lot of people. Okay. But she pled guilty because, you know, the great state of, decided that they wanted to hide this whole thing and keep it all nice and quiet. under the guise of we don't want the victims to be brought out because, you know, God forbid, their names go out in the public and they're shamed for their actions.

Okay. So what we're going to do is we're going to sweep this under the plug. You're going to plead guilty. And you know what you're going to get for all of this? For human trafficking, promotion of prostitution. Human trafficking sounds worse than it actually is. She was literally driving them to their jobs. you are going to get two years of probation.

All right. Are you fucking kidding me? Can I tell you something funny about this? Instead of helping these parents get their kids back and leave decent lives, she's fucking do all the drugs you want, just come and suck some dick. Can I tell you something funny about this? So when I was doing my research this morning, now you sent me that you were doing this person, but I forgot who you sent me.

I read this story. I looked all the way through it. And when I saw that it was two months of probation, I was like, oh, this is obviously isn't creepy a now. I think this is horrible. Dude, she got the probation just because they were trying to sweep it under the rug. No, I understand. No, you've done a good job of presenting this.

I also like that you're telling us the conversations they had. I like when you reenact things. So this woman goes up to the mother. She's like, hey, come here. Come here for a second. Got a question for you. You're doing my gimmick? You get a sucking dick or so then the other woman's like, yeah, I ain't bad.

And then, yes, I was doing it. You know, she found clients. She would walk up to guys and be like, hey. You a boner guy? Works every time. Works every time. So this Bob was probably on a lot of prescription jugs. And are you a boner guy?

She just fucking totally exploited these mothers. And she only got probation. This is just a fucking piece of shit. All right. That's my creep this week. Very good. Good job. Thanks.

I kept it quick. And you still gave me shit. There wasn't a lot of information on it. So I was impressed that you were able to stretch out as long as you did to be honest with you. All right. All right. I bring to you a gentleman from New York State, Broome County, in the Binghamton area of New York State.

Oh, I know. It's not a nice place. I was in the Binghamton Comedy Festival once. Oh, yeah? Yeah. You sweep up the floors or are you getting beverages? What were you doing there? I was keeping the stage warm.

All right. So I have a gentleman by the name of Jacob Gorman. We begin with some breaking news of Boise's social worker. has been arrested after a federal pedophile sting in Broome County. Now, according to our media partner, the leader, Jacob Gorman was arrested after an undercover federal investigation involving an attempt to engage in sexual acts with the child. Yeah.

So in case you're wondering what this person does for a living. Now, BOSES has confirmed with 18 News that Gorman is a school social worker and has been working for them since 2017. he's been placed on administrative leave and according to the leader he remains in federal custody in Binghamton All right, so can I just backtrack on one thing on that just to help add to your point

For those of you don't know what Bose's is It stands for Board of Cooperative Educational Services which basically means your kids fucked up It can't function in another school So we're going to put them in this special school where they can fucking do like What do they call it? Vocational trade skills and shit like that

Right. In fact Bosys, if you grow up in New York State, you know the kids who go to Bosys are kind of retarded and you would like swap out those two words. All the time. In fact, honestly, we should get rid of the R word on the show and just bring back Bosi. Oh my gosh. Because I grew up with that and that no one says it anymore. Let's bring back Boosie. Yeah, fucking Bosi. That's what he used to say. Honest to God. I grew up with it too. We are some boomer Boosy fucks.

The undercover investigation leading to Gorman's arrest was detailed by the FBI in court documents, which say it began August 11th. with a social networking post online. That post was made by an undercover law enforcement officer posing as the parent of a nine-year-old girl. It used language commonly associated with individuals looking to find children for sexual purposes. So this is the part of the story that blows me away. Because this guy, Gorman, is going on social networks looking for parents who want to sell their kids into sex. So Gorman sees this post.

that same day that it was posted he's all over this and he writes well you got to jump on the ads quick when they right correct you really want and he writes love the profile info so how do i get a chance and you getting given me shit for how i reenact things the undercover i mean what is that it's a little creepy it's a little creepy yeah how do i get a chance are you trying to do batman No, I think I'd do it Bain. How do I get a chance, Dr. I would like to talk to you about your children. All right, that's better than I did.

I haven't seen him in a while. The undercover asked Gorman what he was looking for, and he allegedly replied that he loved the taboo. I love the taboo. Gorman and the undercover officer discuss payments ranging up to $400. When the officer, again, posing as the girl's parent, asked whether Gorman was serious about his intentions. He answered,

I promise you I am dead serious about it Stop doing that I am dead serious That's what you want to see When you're talking about fucking a nine-year-old I'm dead serious about it Does it a laughing matter

Where's Maggie Gillen Hall Court documents said Gorman and the undercover officer arranged to meet Thursday And that Gorman would engage in sexual contact With the child Once he arrived at the prearranged location in Broome County law enforcement officials

read him his legal rights and took him into custody. Now this is where Gorman fucks up. Okay. The second time he fucked up. Well, I was going to say, it seems like that might have been one already. Gorman admitted he withdrew $490 from an ATM to use his payment for having sex with a nine-year-old.

How much? How much? $490. Hmm. Was it like an ATM fee or something? I know. I was wondering the same thing. How do you get $490 out of an ATM?

It's usually 20s, but this is what he admitted. As he's being arrested, he admitted he had $490, he took out of an ATM for sexual intercourse of the nine-year-old and I just got to say lawyer up dummy just say I'm going to play the ponies have the right to remain silent what makes this defendant's conduct particularly troubling is the fact that after his arrest he admitted to having actively pursued sexual liaisons with children on multiple occasions over the past year fishing for the opportunity to have sex with them for money on various social media applications the u.s. attorney's office set of gorman in court documents so this guy is just letting

it all out. Not only if I hear to fuck a nine-year-old, I've been trying to fuck a nine-year-olds for the last year. Your Honor. Your Honor, I had $490 to pay the... I turned into Sean Connery. That was terrible. I like it. Go ahead. I had $490. I know

it's strange that I was able to find an ATM that was able to distinct... I fucking have the worst and impressions. That's why I never do, though. I know. I want to just leave you out to dry, though. Keep trying. Okay. Let's hear it. I have four. I got all day. that was able to dispense $10 bills.

All right. Very good, then. I'm going to go kill myself now. Vote for Carl, by the way. I'm just going to wrap my story here. Where is? I need a bullet. I need one bullet.

Yeah, seriously. So Maria Jacob, the federal public defender handling Gorman's case, argued in court documents that he spent many years struggling with sobriety that put him on the wrong path. When he was 30, she said, he began using methamphetamine almost daily. Unfortunately, this is his attorney. Daily, yeah, a daily method for the last seven years, who's also, by the way, a social worker in a school at Boise's program. Well, the kids couldn't tell. Unfortunately, he blended right in.

Unfortunately, as a result of his addiction, he started frequenting many social media sites. and that is where he ultimately met the undercover agent. Yeah, no shit. Thanks for defending me. You're a great attorney. We got that already figured out. In a pitch for leniency, she said, minimum prison time would be suitable given the collateral consequences of his conviction

that Gorman also faces. It has cost him his career and the respect of his family. I'm guessing this guy didn't have a ton of respect in his family. Yeah, he's using meth every day. Yeah. He always used to come over and cut Grandma's grass. He was just such a fine guy. Yeah, I'm sure.

I'm sure he was always early for Easter. Chapter House 86 in the YouTube. Yes, that is how you use the term Bosi. You nailed it. He used it in a sentence, Viti is such a Bosi. Viti was a Bosi kid. He can't add to 90. I can't do.

People are figuring this out quick. Good. So the federal prison term was handed down. It totals 124 months, which is followed by a 15-year term of supervised release. and sex offender registration. That is my creep. Jacob Gorman go to the creepoff pod. Wait, what is it?

The creepoff.com. The creepoff.com. I don't know our Patreon. I don't know our website. Go to the creepoff.com. The other creepoff.com. Vote for Carl this week. And let's not let Vinny run away with this one, people.

I don't run anywhere. Yeah, I know. But once I pick up Steve, I have like a boulder going downhill, Carl. Downhill, like my bait imitation, right down. Yes. So, uh, folks, that is the contest this week. Like Carl said, don't forget to vote. Now, uh, let's take a second and, uh, plug something that's coming up Thursday night, Carl.

Yes. I want to skum stream with Carol and Vinny. Oh, you patrons. I need a skim-lock Eastern Thursday night. I want to come straight with Carl and Vin-A. We're going to have a party. that's right all of you are members of patreon you're gonna a brand new scum stream Carl gets so annoyed

this song is so long yeah you did it I know made the whole thing I know I produced that yeah we're gonna have crows joining us on the scum stream that is correct so we will be live on YouTube for you patronies to be able to watch and I will also release it as an audio episode in the Patreon bonus get it right on your feed there right on your phone yes yes folks so uh if you haven't signed up yet please do it patreon.com backslash the creepoff cool all right we got uh voicemails to get to we do we have a sponsor why do you always ask me that i know because you forgot a couple times and i got it i got it our sponsor the city of syracuse the creepoff voicemail segment is brought

you by the city of syracuse home of the eighth biggest mall in the united states wow was that a mistake. See you in Syracuse. Dude, it's the eighth largest mall now? It used to be number one. Right. Wow. A lot of people are like, well, fucking Syracuse could do it. At least seven other cities decided to get a little uppity. Yeah. And knock them out of the top spot. Poor Syracuse. Uh, yeah, poor Syracuse. Fuck that mall. Here we go, folks. This one was some, uh, thoughts on our wheel of consequences. All right, you fuckers.

So this is how it should be. If you guys don't do your fucking consequences within a certain amount of time, you got to spin the wheel again. I feel like that should be a pretty simple little catch-all rule. I don't know. What do you guys think? I don't know what to say on this one. I fucking go fuck yourselves anyway.

All right. All right. with the with the F words, sir, with the mouth on you. I think that was directed at me, Vinny. I know, but I'll be better. I'll be better. I apologize. That took me way too long to get to.

I just was dreading that. And I just could never find time. And finally, finally we did it. I think it's still up there on YouTube, right? The stream of me watching Qudies. Oh, it certainly is. On the creep off.

It is, I believe it is the people's exhibit A. Yeah, no shit. Is what it's called. Can we take that down, please? Here we go. There's a lot of people asking me to show my hands. during that. Yeah, let's see your hands.

Yeah, there's a lot of like... Ew! Put them down. Oh, stop it. Gross. Am I supposed to smell them from here? I'm in the other room. That was my knots.

It wasn't my hands. All right, fair enough. Stop it. All right. Another, Carl, could you do me a favor, pal? Yeah. With these phone messages you leave. Could you do me a favor and just be a little less drunk when you leave them?

Oh, shit. Hey, Vinny. It's me, Carl. What are we even talking about here? You can tell it's me. Because I found like a smile fucking 47 chromosome having White Claw's cousin with fuck. I just want to clear the air and say, I got nothing against the Polish or the Germans. I fucking hate the French.

Fuck those baguette munching frog-based retards and their stupid fucking languid. Rini-winny, people's champ. All right, I gotta go. My nan is coming over to the house, and he wants me to suck his dick. suckie yeah Jesus wow Carl I get fired up

when I call under this show yeah man whenever Carl's got some dick to suck he gets worked out I'm not normally like that I'll be honest with it yeah man you must have really come hungry

now this person is I believe an elected official hey this is the president of the Maggie Gyllenhaal fan club and I just want to say fuck you

Maggie Gyllenhall is a goddamn dip from God have you never seen secretary Yes. Fuck you, Benny. Fuck you. Guy from Syracuse.

She's a fucking gift. Okay. I know that she was in a movie once that was really hot if you're into like Cinemax or Skinnamax. But it doesn't make her attractive. Yeah, I mean, she wasn't in like a movie as hot as cuties, right, Carl?

God, cuties is fucking terrible. So, I have a voicemail here, Benny. Please. This person has some nice. things to say to you, actually. Some kind words here. This is for the creep off. My name is Vance.

I weigh 700 pounds and I rolled over and killed nine of my cats. I haven't been out of my bedroom in five years and I just want to say, Vinny, you are a true inspiration to me that someone bigger,

fatter, and lousier than me can make a halfway decent podcast. Anyway, go Carl. I'm a cousin rule. Thank you, Vinnie, for showing us fat slabs that need forklifts to remove from our house, that there's something that things could always be worse. Bye.

You're an inspiration, Minnie. Well, he said the show is halfway decent, so I'll take that. I am proud of you, buddy. I'm glad I could inspire. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. Well, Vance, good luck to you, sir.

Yep. I hope that 10th cat. less a little longer. All right. Next one, Carl. Again, drunk Carl. Here he comes again. Hey, Venn, this is Carl.

And you should really check out reelect Andrew Cuomo. dot com slash WATP. Andrew Cuomo did not kill infinite old people and he's not a deranged pervert. That's a liberal media myth. And frankly, I support him. Yeah.

Now make that check. Carl Hamburgers, that's Carl, a K, as in Klox. God damn it. All right. I should have my phone taken away from me when I'm drinking. This came from somebody late last night who was not happy when he looked at the tally on the creepoff.com.

Yo, Carl, there's definitely some fat fuckery going on with the voting. I agree. All of a sudden, three weeks in a row, this fat sack of shit, Wolkster, Biotch, pizza, stuffing in his face. Vinny Skinny Vinnie Spinney Vinny Vinny never winnie

Now he's destroying you every week I'm calling bullshit Okay Nannigans I don't I think it's great Shut

Nanigans And by the way I'm not a wokester Go fuck yourself Fuck me or fight me bro All right Carl I guess that means It's time for the scum parade

Let's go to the scum parade Let's do it The Skum Parade, these are my peeps The Skum parade There's nothing for creeps The Skum parade I'm caroland's in the show Today we're going to start off in Myrtle Beach

Where a resident is proving how you can be creepy Without murdering or raping anyone Yes Responding to a 3.15 a.m. disturbance call. The Myrtle Beach Police spoke with a 27-year-old victim. This woman said that her boyfriend, Fred Funier, I believe is how you say that. He's French, Carl. You got beef with him? I forgot.

I was like, what is that a reference? She was like, oh, that's right. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just covered that. It's not going to go. Yeah. So this 27-year-old girl is dating Fred Funier, who is 61, happened to get drunk earlier in the evening. And after returning to their residence, he started an argument with her, quote, about favors that needed to be done, end quote.

You know what's crazy, Vinnie? I have the audio from this. Oh, I'd love to hear it. Yeah. This is the actual audio of the argument he had with his girlfriend. I deserve to be blown first before the fucking jacuzzi. Until I'll burn the goddamn house down. But blow me first.

How dare you? he did he did deserve some favors now this guy is no this guy is no mel Gibson we're going to start with this well I mean he did also say this to her you should just fucking smile and blow me you can say it but it doesn't make you a Mel Gibson and here's why I'm going to say this man is no Mel Gibson okay after finding called her a bunch of profanities the woman said he grabbed quote a bucket he uses to relieve himself with and threw it at her So no explanation as to why he has a bucket that he relieves himself. The police report even says that. We do not know why he has a piss bucket. Yeah, there's no explanation of this. Is this something that in Myrtle Beach that people just do?

They just piss in a bucket? I don't know. An officer on the scene reported spotting liquid on the floor and the victim, quote, did have urine-soaked clothing. Upon being woken up by a cop, yeah, Fungier, who smelled of alcohol, denied throwing anything of the victim. Fungier was arrested on a misdemeanor domestic violence charge, and the victim told police they have dated for four years and began living together about five months ago. How's that working out?

Well, here's the fun, nice thing, Carl. An online wedding planner indicates that the pair is engaged, and Fonnier had proposed to her at a Walmart. So... It's probably their special place. I've been to the Walmart of Myrtle Beach. Oh, it's a shithole. Shocking.

Do you know what else he said when the police woke him up? He said this. I should have fucking walking you up and said, blow me. You ought to like that better, yeah? The cops. Thank God none of the cops were Jewish, right, Carl? That was Mel Gibson.

He yelled at the Jewish cop lady. I get it. I was pretending that wasn't Mel Gibson. Was it my angle on it, but you kind of... Okay. That was Mel Gibson, in case anyone doesn't know. I was pretending it was the guy from the story

from Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Remember when I said I have the actual audio? you know can you fucking yes and me for a half a fucking second chan zubach fucking yes and my routine here and punt what's this over here did someone leave a credit card laying around oh i'll see mancato minnesota responding to multiple 911 calls about a naked woman quote walking around and jumping in and out of vehicles at a car dealership police dispatches were initially told that a naked woman was sitting alone inside a Pontiac SUV and that she, quote,

looked happy and did not appear to be hurt, but appeared to be possibly under the influence, end quote. When police arrived, the Pontiac was found running with its driver's side door open, but the vehicle was empty. Nearby officers spotted a Chevrolet Silverado with its rear driver's side door, ajar. They also noticed feet sticking out of the door.

Upon approaching the SUV, a patrolman spotted Jennifer Dorado, Whit Weber, 35 years old, who looks like she's 55 years old. She looks all right. I don't know, Carl. She had a rough day. Lying across the floor of the second row of the vehicle. So she's laying across the floor of the backseat, on her back, with her feet in the air,

digitally penetrating herself over the next hour, Carl, the cops are in a standoff with this woman for an hour. She did not stop dittling herself the entire time. Like, how do the cops not just grab her, drag her out of the car? What does she in there going? Stand back, I squirt. Yeah, right. It's piss.

I know it's piss. Vic told me it's piss. So, holy shit. I got to do a real quick thing here. It's too bad, Vinny, that we couldn't set this woman up with that guy who threw the piss bucket because he was really horny. Like, if we could have just made a match and a connection in that night, none of this would have happened. None of it. Because she was really, really horny, this girl.

so horny she had to go to the car dealership she was horned up yeah she was looking to please some guys she was not only horned up she was also really high on meth we found that out a little bit later right yeah but uh during this hour long standoff right they are having a conversation with her they're like come on get out the car i just imagine this is like a reno nine one one sketch this is in minnesota but sure come on cecy get out of the car eh like they're try to coax her out of the SUV throughout this time weber's making nonsensical statements and continued to masturbate. According to the probable cause statement,

what asked her, what brought her to the area, Weber replied, to please the boys. Investigators noted that Weber continued to masturbate as she spoke with the officers. Finally, after prolonged negotiation, she exited the SUV, was taken into custody and transported to a local hospital. Police say they recovered

meth and drug paraphernalia. From where, I don't know, she was naked. Well, her car. She drove her car there. Okay. Weber was subsequently booked into the county jail for indecent exposure, narcotics possession, DWI, and entry to vehicle without the owner's permission. And of course, masturbate. All of which are misdemeanors.

So, there you go. Don't say shit for attention. It's not cute. Just go to the car dealership. You don't have to say it. Just go do it is what we learned. Now, Carl, we have another creep out there in the world. We're going to go to New Zealand.

How does that sound? Let's do it. Now, a former shoe store employee is facing legal consequences for his actions on the job that were, quote, arguably worse than stealing or mismanaging merchandise. New Zealand one-shoe's employee Malachi Wiley stands accused of exploiting his professional position to take covert photos of his customers and coworkers before committing sexual acts with their footwear. Feet people are the worst.

I can't really think of a lot of people that are worse than feet people. They're the worst. Furies? Would you rather hang out with a furry or a footperson? What if it was both? Got to imagine that exists. That's probably true. But what would I rather hang out with? Yeah, if you had to spend-

In what capacity are we talking about? Am I at a furry convention? No, you're at a beer, you're at a bar, you have to have a beer with one of them. The foot guy or the furry? The foot guy, because the foot guys are going to talk to me about feet. You don't know that. I assume that. I assume the foot guy's into chick's feet. What if he looks at you and goes, look.

He looks at you, he goes, are those, are those, are those child's four? What are you? Maybe that's his thing. He just looks down and he's like, ooh. If I were you, I would avoid the foot people too. All right. You know what? I can't win at this argument.

That is true. You're right. What was your foot doctor like? Do you have a podiatrist? I don't. You don't? I don't. I did when I was a baby when I was a newborn.

Yeah. I had many operations to fix my feet because I, It was clubbed feet. Where's Gilbert Godfrey laughing? I don't know. I don't know why that would be funny. What's so funny about that? I'm getting a water. What's wrong over there, Vinny?

You're falling apart. Fuck you. All right. Do what I want. I forgot my water over here. All right. So, this guy's fucking jerking off on people's shoes. It gets right to it.

Wiley allegedly also photographer filmed the axe for the purposes of sharing them on what the outlet describes is a network of, porn fetish and Facebook pages. The 23-year-old man was arrested on April 23rd, and has since been charged with one count of theft and two counts of offensive behavior for serptentiously quote, sniffing, spitting,

and ejaculating into the shoes at his workplace. Now, that ratcheted up pretty quick, didn't it? Sniffing, spitting, ejaculating. Does sniffing need to be in there? Does that even matter? To be fair, it is New Zealand, I assume weird rules. Ejectulating into shoes?

I think we're good, just with that one right there. Well, the shoes included a pair of converse that belonged to a young co-worker and a pair of Nike Air Force ones that belong to a blonde customer. Yeah, so it's not even like pumps or something. They're not like sexy shoes. Yeah.

They're like high tops. Who's ever seen a fucking pair of fucking Chuck Taylor's and fucking got hard? Right. It's bizarre. It is very bizarre. So my favorite is when hot girls leave the shoes. He said, this is what he says to the police. No, this was on the social network, I think he was writing, right?

Oh, yeah, you're right. This is what he wrote on the social network. I apologize. As you may imagine from time to time. We're going to get the stories right, Vinnie. We take this very seriously around here. Yes, he wrote on this page because he was trying to brag about how great it is to work at a shoe story. He says, as you can imagine from time to time, there's some pretty sexy experiences.

We're all doing voices now. Is there a New Zealand accent? As you may imagine, from time to turn, yeah, some pretty sexy experiences. experiences. My favorite is when hot girls leave his shoes lying around as they walk across the store to get other shoes. That's not bad. Thanks. Wiley's profile wrote at an interest form frequented by foot fetishers. He likes it when girls leave their shoes on the floor while looking for other shoes. And then he further went on to further say, I didn't want to get too crazy. I don't want to lose my job, but I am open to ideas.

Whatever the fuck that means. Doesn't they seem like this guy has a shoe fetish and not a foot fetish? He's supposed to jerk off in sneakers all day. Well, while they allegedly began posting photos taking a number one shoe stores on the forum in December 2020, News Hub reports that he's been committed similar crimes since his days as a student at St. Patrick's College in the suburb of Silverstream. In 2014, evidence suggests he created a Facebook page dedicated to aggregating pictures of his female acquaintances shoes. or ask if they be willing

to help for an art portfolio or do it at school and then the art portfolio uses photos of their shoes to express the influence of brands on consumer behavior turns out it's just my shoe wankin book

his profile wrote on the forum while he was alleged able to obtain photos of hundreds of pairs of shoes this way many of which he posted along with the owner's names pictures and contact information.

Now, this is interesting to me. Like, if you're a shoe guy, and that's what really gets you off. Yeah. It's way easier than being, like, a tits guy. I was thinking the same thing, or even, like, an underpants guy. Right.

Like, getting underpants seems creepy. You might, you know, if you want a bra or something, he seemed like a creep. He's hanging out of college with a bunch of idiot girls, and he's just like, hey, let me take pictures of shoes.

I'm doing this thing about brand influences. Hey, Kelly, I saw you're going for a jog later this afternoon. What do you do with your shoes after that? Could really... I'll spit-shine him for you. We don't want to fucking lick the souls of them. And by the way, that Facebook page of his has nearly a thousand

followers. Yes. The ruse came to light when a German... A.k.a. creeps. A thousand creeps. Yes. They should be listening to this show. Somebody let them know. The ruse came to like when a German woman identified only as Ellen! Notice that the photos of used clothing and shoes were appearing

on foot fetish sites and managed to identify some of the owners and locations. What was she doing on these foot fetish sites? I never come across foot fetish sites. Methinks thou protest too much, Alan. Cannon photos while he allegedly took and the detailed description he used in the post. I was really conflicted if I should even try to do something about it

because I don't know how I would react after being told something like that. She told News Hub on her decision to come forward. So she was being a little tattletale. She found this guy's shit. and tracked down all these people. Wiley, who's currently out on bail, is scheduled to appear on court on May 25th.

Wiley also allegedly claims to have stalked a fit brunette and sexually assaulted a sleeping girl. Okay. So this is the part of the article where I go, so we're not even trying to report news anymore. Right. We're talking about the guy's shoe fetish, the salacious part.

Yeah. But he went and found a sleeping girl. He assaulted a sleeping girl. What if it was Vic? Oh, interesting. What if the fucking New Zealand shoe fetters? was assaulting Vic's feet. I think with the evidence that we have,

it's more than likely, Vic. Just based on the evidence that we have. This is insane because they write the story up because it's silly. This guy's jerking off into shoes, posting it online, these find other people who are into that sort of thing. And at the very end, they're like, oh, also he's stalking

and sexually assaulting people. Like, oh, well, that changes in everything right there. I don't care about him losing his job at the shoe place. Would have been jail. Either way, he's in a lot trouble. Let's talk about the big story of the week, shall we? Let's do it. We always end with a bang. This is a big one, man, because folks, new serial killer! Breaking news. Yes, breaking news. We have a brand new serial killer. Yeah, yeah, busted in Mexico. A 72-year-old man was arrested

this week following the discovery of human remains under the floorboards of his home. He has confessed to killing as many as 30 people over the last. two decades. Now, John Wayne Gacy had like 33 young boys in the basement of his house, I think. So this is up there with John Wayne Gacy numbers, okay? The suspect identified only as Andre N., per Mexican privacy laws, was known colloquially as El Chino, translated as the Chinese. So was he a Chinese guy living in Mexico? I have no clue. Just outside of Mexico City? I mean, if he just went by the name as the Chinese, it was probably racist. who can tell those apart anyway though he was arrested inside his home on saturday for the

killing of a 34 year old reina gonzalez who vanished on may 13th he is believed to have stabbed her and dismembered her body kevin doleck is 72 year old man they found it on the table yeah they found her fucking with like a butcher knife in it he was like mid project he's like they found her the police showed up and he's like oh company can you come back later i'm not done with this yeah dinner's at eight just chopping fucking salary. Oh, God. Yes. Yeah, this gets worse. So, police said they found shoes,

ID cards, women's handbags, and clothing in the home, along with other belongings linked specifically to Rubikala Galagos and Flore, uh, Nineve and Canio who disappeared in 2016 and 2019. Respectfully, according to the outlet, reports have emerged

from various news outlets in Mexico that, uh, he told authorities he's eaten some of the remains of the victim and peeled the skin off of guns. Zalas's face. Investigators reportedly also discovered scalps and skulls and audio recordings of over a dozen murders. His audio recordings were, is he going to put out a podcast? Does he need a professional AV person to get out there and get some video of this?

Why is he audio recording this? Maybe producer Chris can get down there and make himself useful. Drink all his wine. The alleged killer also had weapons including machetes and a fret saw on the property. After his arrest, Andre reportedly admitted to as many as 30 murders. The gruesome discovery of Gonzales' hacked a body on a bloody table came during the search for her in Los Lomas-Des-San-Megel, a neighborhood on the western edge of Mexico City. Investigators jackhammered the floor and took apart a concrete structure of the common access property. The forensic experts sifted through the dirt to find evidence.

DNA testing will be needed to determine how many victims had been killed over the years. All right, question, Vinnie. But there's a lot of stuff. out there question minnie yeah um how does this not reek mexico city do you know how it gets there in the summer you have decaying bodies under concrete under a building where he's running out rooms to multiple tenants and no one's smelling this that is correct Mexico city sounds great sounds terrible they're like dude stop cooking those burritos over there fucking stinks yeah man so this dude he's a real fun

fucking psycho, and they caught him. So, according to this article, this is a big problem they have in Mexico called Femicide? Yes. The murdering of women. In 2019, 35,000 women were murdered. And I want to know, because they didn't say this in the article, why is it these women can't keep their mouth shut?

What is it about Mexican women that they are out of line so often that they're getting murdered at such high rates? Are they not learning the lessons? Are they not reading the news? Are their friends not telling them about this? That's 35,000. It's a lot of nonsense going on from these women. From the article, activists say that femicides have become so pervasive that police no longer do much to prevent, investigate, or prosecute the killings.

Oh, no, so it was killed. We need to investigate. Oh, it was a woman? Okay. Yeah. Yeah, the cops are all like, I don't care, I don't care. Is that, is that fucking bizarre? I love people.

I have a lot of friends who like to vacation in Mexico. I'm like, that is a scary fucking place. 35,000 women murdered and the cops aren't even investigating this. This guy's got 30 plus people underneath his floorboards. And for decades, and nobody knew about it. What does they, that dude you brought in and had a bunch of them under the floorboards of his apartment for years? That's true. But remember,

The stench got so bad that he had to leave there and moved somewhere else. Well, the only reason that guy got busted, wasn't it? Because he was flushing parts of people down the toilet. Correct. They found it in the sewage. Yeah. Or like a plumber came in or something. I was like, this is a figure.

We have some real highbrow conversations. Wasn't it the guy's knuckle they found? Yeah, something like that. It's fucked up. I guess that is the scub parade this week. Ladies and gentlemen, do not kill anybody or rape. Try not to kill anyone this week, please. Thank you.

Please. Be nice to children. Be nice to small children. Not that nice, but just nice enough to acknowledge that they exist. As nice as they to do. Yeah. Don't like kick them or hurt them or touch them. That's the end of the show.

Hey, listen, by the way, I remember Scumstream Thursday night. Somebody wrote, can we get Vic to go to Mexico City? Please. Does the Navy go there? Scum stream Thursday night. Yeah. And by the way, folks, we are so close to having 200 patrons. We are like only a couple away.

So if you haven't yet, help us get over. that hump. That'd be awesome. And you want to become a Carl, Cuzz-A-Roo. You join the Viannon True Believers who become a creepomaniac. Cuzz-a-Roo. Cuzz-A-Roo. Ew.

Disgusting, vomit-inducing thing. So we hope to see this Thursday night. Until that, act right. And remember, it's nice to be important. But it's more important to be nice. Gagia! This is stupid.

This is stupid. I denounce it.