The Creep Off - Episode 68: Igor Gangrenously

Episode Date: June 22, 2021

This week the boys tour Deutschland and make their nomination for creepiest German: In the Scum Parade we meet the greatest girlfriend in the world, the worst Vice Principal ever and a Mom who raised a stool pigeon: Most importantly Karl spins the wheel, and his consequences are decided.Don’t forget to vote at Thecreepoff.com Support the show and get exclusive merch: patreon.com/Thecreepoff

Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't any of these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation, horror, shock. I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive, and I'm not backing down. Go-cool, co-co. Disgusting

Dugusting, vomit-inducing thing. Ola! Creepos! Welcome to another edition of your favorite true crime podcast. Show about creeps, buy creeps. For you, creeps. My name is Veeples. Vinny?

Listen, I am not nice. I am not kind, and I am wonderful. And my co-host today, good old hot Cuck-Ca-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-Rla. What is happening, Vinny? How you doing, pal? I'm doing well. Can I pull this monitor down a little bit? Yeah.

In my shot. There it is. Yeah, yeah. Sorry about that. No, it's my fault. I came here late. We didn't have time to set the cameras up. So, Carl.

I don't like that grin. I already know where this is going. You want to talk about last week's, uh, Well, isn't that how we start every show? It's how we start every show. It's how we start them. Sometimes there's some formalities, but that's fine. We can get right to it.

What formalities would you like to do, Carl? What formalities would you like to do, some to lay this? Let's talk about it, because last week was creepiest Italian, and I brought a guy who really took his music very seriously. Yeah, he was an artist. He was an artist. He was definitely an artist. And I brought a dirty old Italian woman who murdered a bunch of suckers so she could take

Before electricity was just. discovered. Who even cares? Listen, I'm going to tell you something right now. Yeah, okay. None of that matters. Atrocity is atrocity and it doesn't matter by the date. Yeah, today's creep is a dinosaur.

He ain't a bunch of all the dinosaurs. That's like cannibalism. Oh, boy. What are we going to do, biggest creep from Pangia? What are we even talking about? I think we should pull out biblical creeps. That should be a whole second series that we do. I pick Jewish God.

I pick Jewish Old Testament God. I would I don't think he's known as Jewish God, but okay That'll be a fun episode Because we try to figure out what the Bible means This will be me an entire show What the fuck are they talking about?

What is this? And then who begot who? What the fuck? That's some fucking storm. Jesus Christ Hey Carl, here's the score from last week Okay, yeah, let's see the score from last week. These are the screenshots from last night

at 12 a.m. Okay, so... It looks like, I received 120 votes, but you received 126. Oh, man, this is a huge deal with this. I know why you're mad. It's okay, Carl, but today, you know the rules. That round is over.

Your boy, Vinny, is the champ for this round of the creep off. That means Carl, at the end of this episode, is going to be spitting the wheel. have consequences. I'm surprised you didn't already put it in my room for me. I got it right here. Because during the voice bill, I would tell people submitted a lot of ideas this week that maybe there's some things we might be able to throw on. Good, good. Before you spend.

Because I'm not going to go to Gary, Indiana. No, you will. You absolutely fucking will. And you know what? If you have to go to Gary, Indiana, you're practically going to be in Chicago. You might not be able to go to that Cubs white socks game. Right. Because you have to drive to Gary Indiana instead.

Yeah. Yeah. That'll be good. All right. So yes, that was game point last week. Vinny now has five points, and I came up with, what, three this time, this round? Two? I don't know.

Two. Who cares? You lost. What does it matter? Well, what it matters is I have to learn from this. Look forward. Look forward. No, no, no, no, no.

That's in the Bible, probably. I need to assess what I did wrong, what I need to improve upon, because I can't let this happen again. I don't like spinning that wheel. If you really want to figure out what you need to do to improve and what you need to do to make your life better, again, back to the Bible. okay that's what you need my friend okay a little bit of jesus okay now sounds good it's stupid so what we're going to do today is in honor of carl last week we made fun of my people this week what fat people no my people the italians the i tis this week we are going to talk about carl's people that's right

we are going to visit zafah the land what does this music do action this gives you hard What's going on in your brain? Well, I'll tell you what's going on in my brain, thinking back to the match against Portugal, where the Germans defeated Portugal 4 to 2 in the European Cup on this past Saturday. See, I was very busy this weekend. My jokes don't go over.

I don't care. No one cares, Carl. You love your Germany. You love your Germany soccer. Yes. That's where you're from. And it's interesting. There's a certain time in Germany where I don't think you would have made it.

Okay. With the club feet and all. I don't think you would I don't think you would have made it out. I don't think it worked out well for me. Not necessarily Hitler youth material. Oh, God, no. Yeah.

That kid in that movie, uh, Tycho O'Kiki directed. I know what you're talking about. It's a fun movie. Yeah, that kid, way more masculine than you. Yes, correct.

Would have taken me out. Yeah. Yeah, that kid could run and stuff. It was incredible. You would have been so jealous. But today, we are going to discuss. People were calling me out that I used to skateboard. People don't understand the timetable.

of recovering from something like having club feet. There's a lot of misinformation going on on the internet right now, but I'm going to need to clear this up at some point. So I want everybody to know the truth. Carl is a lot like FDR. He has to come here in a wheelchair. We get him into his seat, then we turn the cameras on. That's true.

Because of his club feet. And now it's all for not, because he just told him. I've ruined the illusion. Who would be this week's Sourkraut? All right. Let's get into it. I won, so that means I get to go first. And ladies and gentlemen, when you are trying to discover who is the creepiest German, it's like shooting fish in the fucking barrel.

Dude, that's a long list. Isn't there when you start researching this topic? Vinny sent me, I think, four or five different people. Correct. He kept changing his mind. I had a guy. Which means he spent way too much time researching this. And I didn't.

I was just like looking at different things. I was like, oh, my God. And then I'd go, oh, my, no, oh, my God. And this has never happened before where Vinny sent me four different days. Like, nope, never mind this one. Nope, never mind this one. Nope, never mind. So I can only imagine this one's pretty horrific.

at the end of this i'm gonna wait to find out who you do and at the end of this i'm gonna tell you very quickly what those other people did just for a little bonus for you guys now uh i'm not gonna go too too deep today because i know everybody's tired of when i go off on a long rant so i'm just gonna let you know that today my creeps name is adolf edolph edolph seafelt the other adolf he is the other adolf yeah simply note is uncle ticot or da sandman carl you'll be happy to know that my creep was not born in 1890 this week oh good Good. Yeah.

Does that make you feel better? It does make you feel better. Was there electricity? Has your creep ever seen at television? Yes. Okay, good. But I will tell you this, he was born 20 years earlier than 1890. He was born in 1870.

Oh, fuck me. So his childhood fucking sucked. His dad was a drunk, his mom was a whore. And this kid was a real fucking square. He was always so upset by his parents' behavior. So he just read the Bible all day. During his childhood, seeing the debauchery displayed through his parents, Seafeld began reading the Bible

and committing its passages to memory. In later life, Seafeld could be heard reciting these lengthy passages while walking through the small villages and hamlets of northern Germany. Yeah, so he just basically his entire life mumbled scriptures to himself. If that doesn't make him a little creepy, I'm just going to start with that. That's how you're starting that. It was the fucking 19th century. He's reading the Bible.

It's not shocking in any way. There weren't comic books, all right? All right. So he wasn't reading Batman. Oh, you want something? I wasn't going to pro wrestling about spinning. I don't know. You would have passed the time in 1812.

I'll tell you what. How I would not have liked to have passed the time, the way apparently he enjoyed the past the time. At the age of 12, Seafeld suffered the abuse of two grown men, which he enjoyed. Wasn't that Milo's story? Was it Milo or was it George DeKay who said that he was abused when he was a kid, but he enjoyed it? I think that was George DeKay. And there's a lot of outrage about that. In spite of being a Bible thumber, he liked to be face-fucked.

He lived a pretty normal life. For the most part, he was trained as a locksmith at a clockmaker. He was married with one son. Now, the son turned out to be quite the problem for him, Carl. Because his son turned out, Pito. His son got caught molesting kids, sent to an asylum. They bounced around asylums to the rest of his fucking miserable life. And after this happens, his wife leaves him, he's got fucking nothing to do.

so what is a lonely father of a pito going to do after his wife leaves him get back into religion no no no what he decided to do was to find out what all the fuss was about for himself seafelt was imprisoned for the molestation of a young boy at this point in his life

psychiatrist diagnosed man as being unstable so he goes a little crazy he lived a pretty normal life his wife leaves him his kids and molester now all of a sudden he decided I'm going to get in on this So he's the one in prison or is that his son? No, that was him.

He molested a kid, too. So he's in prison. After his kid went to jail. So he didn't, it was no cautionary tale to him. It was like, oh, you know what? I've had to try that. You got to tell the kid not to tell anyone or else you'll both get in trouble. I don't know why he didn't know that.

Kids. Well, this guy, he was in and out of asylums for a while. Attendance at the various asylums where Seafelt saw himself incarcerated viewed the man as, quote, playing with his droppings, twitching his limbs, end quote, and experiencing self-imposed. paralysis. It's like Nick Bate. Yeah. Playing with his droppings. He made himself quite an impression

on the folks at the asylums. You could give me seven days to come up with different ways to talk about playing with your shit. Playing with your droppings I would never come up with. Who says that? He was fooling around with his leavings. So this guy

It is clearly now. I mean, that's kind of normal behavior in Germany, right? I'm going to play with the pooh-poo. I'm my German piggy boy I like all my chocolates He did that too well He fucking is crazy He's like kind of crazy But they still let him out of these asylums

He's a pedophile He's playing with his own shit in jail And they're just like, you know what? That's best people They just let him go They did his time We're talking 1933 here He's out loose

How old was he at this point? What year was he born? 1870 He's 63. Coincidence has it on very cold nights. The police started finding the bodies of young boys dead. Now, the age group of these kids were talking about are toddlers to 12 years old, and they were in the woods, and they had one very, very particular thing in common.

Would you like to take a guess what that was? Their pants were pulled down to their ankles? Nah, not exactly, not exactly. Apparently, apparently, our boy Adolf had to type. Oh, okay. All of them were wearing sailor suits. Oh, how fun. Yes.

Like, I'm going to tell you something right now. I'm pop by the sailor man would make Adolf Seedelf out come everywhere. Send it to kids to sing the song. He loved the sailor suits. Yeah. Well, I don't want to start a victim blaming, but oh, go ahead, Biddy. Okay, hear you. You just settled down.

He's really into these little sailor boys. And apparently what Adolf was doing is he was living in the woods. And during this time after he was let out, he was traveling from town to town threatening people and their livestock. He was basically going around pretending to be a witch saying that he could cast spells on people. And he was this creepy old guy and everybody was scared of him. But he would still freaking find a way to lure and talk to the kids. He'd be like, say hey what do you say give me a nickel yeah he just like come here kids and they still

kind of went around with them because he was like this mysterious guy but he would get them out into the woods and he made this special type of chloroform out of fungus and shit in the woods that he found hmm he like concocted it he would fucking chloroform these kids in their little sailor suits he would drag them somewhere into the woods or clearing he would then blow the kids he would just sit there and just start sucking on their little peckers they call that the uh reverse cosby the reverse cosby he would reverse cosby these little sailors yep he would fucking come everywhere yep and then he would leave him now did he murder them absolutely because these are little kids are tied right he's chloroforming them with this stuff he doesn't know what he's doing

And these kids are passed out for a long time. And this was always during cold nights. Oh, okay. So he wasn't trying to kill them. I don't know. They just couldn't make it. They all died of hypothermia. They found frozen little sailors.

Yeah. With their little weeners hanging out. And this fucking guy walking around going, just wiping his mouth. Oh, boy. Fucking gross. There were 12 victims that they found like this. And Seafeld's arrest filed the murder of a kid named something Zimmerman. This was in 1935.

Way to hear when he got busted. for. All right. Police questioned witnesses who last saw the young boy, and the witnesses stated that they saw young Gustav with an older man in a, quote, striking hat, end quote, on the day the child disappeared. When police noticed a middle-aged man who matched the description, they arrested him immediately.

So that man was Gustav Adolf Seafelt. Now, Carl. He was aged. Yeah, back then, I don't know what they're fucking talking about. He's 63. Yeah. So he was wearing a really stupid hat. because he was going around pretending to be a wizard and trying to scare everybody.

So they saw the guy in the dumb fucking hat. They knew who to look for. At this time, we're talking 1935. We're talking Nazi time. People are fucking starting to clean up the streets. They're like, oh, there's a dude with the hat. They drag him. They bring him in.

See, Vinny, I knew you're going to do this. You're already saying, what about all the great things the Nazis did? And I just disagree with you, Vinny. I can't go along with that. If you like the Nazis, vote for Vinny. but I can't go along with it. All I know is the cops looked at this guy and they were like,

Some bad hat, Harry. And they took him to jail. And he was convicted of 12 of these murders and he was sentenced to death. But ladies and gentlemen, there is something to be said about German efficiency. And after a brief trial, sentenced the watchmaker to death for 12 murders.

After the trial, in order to discover the identity of any other victims, the Gestapo, or Nazi secret police, took Seafeld to one of their facilities and tortured him incessantly until he professed the identity or culpability in the murder of other young children. As a result of the deeply painful interrogation, Seafeld admitted to more than 100 murders. Fucking Nazis. 100, huh?

Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that's a lot of kids. And he got busted because of his stupid fucking nerd wizard hat. Yeah, well, it's also what got him noticed by the kids. Now, I hate to do this. I hate to blow up my own case, but sometimes there is a happy ending. Oh, good.

Adolf Seafelt was executed by guillotine on May 23rd, 1936. Yay! Adolf Seafeld. Do you think, though, confessing to 100, first of all, you lose track. You're going to lose count. Oh, yeah, he couldn't remember all the names clearly. Well, what does he be, introduced them or remember the names? I would even know their names?

My name is Das Uncle Tick-Tock. So I'm guessing that he was just trying to be braggadocious and, uh, or maybe he was not torturing him. Or maybe he was just being tortured with your life. One of the times you'll say whatever people want you to say when you're being tortured. Yeah, either way, he did murder 12 kids and he dressed them up. They were all in sailor suits and he fucking blew them out in the woods and let them die. He wasn't trying to murder them.

Carl, shut the fuck up. All right. Who's your creep? My creep this week is Angola Murph. for crimes against humanity. No, it's not true. My creep this week is Okim Kroll. And I'll give you a, you know this person?

No. You didn't come across this one? No. Okay, I'll give you a little overview. For 21 years between the mid-1950s and the mid-70s, Yokim Kroll murdered at least 14 people by strangling them to death. His youngest victim, Marion Ketter, was just four years old. the discovery of her dismembered body in the summer of 1976 left the nation in a state of complete disbelief

okay so he was getting away with murdering people he's a serial killer in germany sure and uh the way he would get away with it is he would travel away from his hometown he would take the train or the bus and he'd go an hour hour and a half away and then murder someone and some other stuff too that we'll get it to. And so they never really figured out who was doing this. Then he made a big mistake in 1976. This time he took a girl from the neighborhood who he knew by sight. He took her to his flat, sexually abused her and then killed her. So that old chestnut. That old chestnut. So not only is he killing four-year-olds, he's sexually abusing them as well. So this guy is possibly the best definition of a creep I could have found

when doing my research for this one. Let's go back in time a little bit. Let's find out a little bit more about our buddy Kroll. Yoakim Kroll was the son of a coal miner, born in East Germany, weekly, unprepossessing child, barely intelligent. He had an IQ of a 79. He had a Vinnie Paulino-like IQ. How fucking 79. He was the six of seven kids.

I'll have you know. that my IQ is not a 79. I was told I was a very bright little boy. I'm sure your mom told you a lot of nice things. She probably still does to this day. She doesn't like you. You have a very fun podcast, Vinnie. Everyone loves your podcast, Vinnie.

Yeah, they do. Your YouTube channel's on fire, Vinnie. Fucking coming down. Set you on fire. So he was the six of seven kids. He didn't get along with his siblings at all. His father was abusive. They were driven out of their home because of the Second World War.

He later became a member of the Hitler youth, but that didn't work out. Oh, he wasn't accepted by the other Hitler youths who were there. Just not rabbit enough. So he went to go work on a farm. And this was interesting work for him. Kroll's delight in the blood and gore of the slaughterhouse even manifested into sexual acts with animals. If fantasies of sexual violence developed during puberty, and he was in puberty, when he was working on farms,

then you can never get rid of them. There he experienced these sexual things which aroused him the warm blood and where he satisfied himself. And afterwards, he lived out his fantasies on the animals with sexual acts, with cows and anything that was available. And something like that will never go away.

Who hasn't fucked a cow or two, right? Oh, his dad was mean to him? Where, where? My daddy, my daddy, where? And he had to fuck the cows because of it? All right. Let's not lose focus at what's going on with this. guy, all right? He's very excited about slaughtering animals to the

point where he's getting sexually aroused and then fucking the animals while slaughtering them. And he even takes to house cats with some of this ridiculousness and nonsense. When he lived in a hostel for single men and he took a cat into his room,

he had this idea that he wanted to see what the insides look like. He took a hammer, struck the cat, and skinned it, and took a closer look at its intestines. Oh, so he was a curious young boy. Biologist over here, yeah.

Yeah, right. Like, that would be excelling in some schools. Killing a cat with a hammer is brutal, right? Yeah. Can we all agree on that? Yeah. It's pretty brutal. What year is this?

So the problem is, we're talking about, this is about 1954. Okay. We're talking about. Now, the problem is is that he does like girls, but girls don't. like him. He's kind of a rat-faced looking guy, not an attractive guy, doesn't have any social skills, didn't get along with anyone. Was his last name, Hamburger?

It might have been Hamburger. A lot of people in Germany are named Hamburger, Vinny. It means something very different there. All right. So, he can't get girls. So what's the next best thing, Vinnie? What's the next best thing to a girl? A dead animal? Blow-up dolls, of course.

Croll began experimenting with blow-up dolls. Because Crawl didn't manage to get access. the women, he procured himself several rubber dolls instead, which he draped with clothing, but then also hanged them with a rope and imagined that the women would then die. He got a particular kick out of that. He was murdering blow-up dolls, raping and murdering blow-up dolls. It sounds better than the alternative of what he could be doing.

Correct! It is! So he was basically just practicing. It is better than what he wanted to do, and then something bad happened. And the only person in the world that he cared about passed away. Yochim Kuald's murderous career started when the only person he could relate to, his mother, died. His mother was above all, the most important person in Kroll's life, in contrast with his father, who beat him regularly. She was the only positive figure in his life. He looked up to her and didn't have to be afraid.

So when this pillar broke, there was no halt to his sexual pathological development. So three weeks after his mom passed away, he murdered his first victim, a 19-year-old girl, and this is them talking about that horrific scene. He kind of shuffles her off into the woods where he sexually assaults her and he kills her, and then he mutilates her body. So this is somebody who appears to be, you know, kind of subhuman in a way. He's a real problem. And he was getting away with this for over two decades. until he made that mistake of Dumb hat?

Murdering the four-year-old. The four-year-old. Yeah, not a dumb hat. Not this one. Different story this time. The four-year-old girl who was playing on a playground right outside his house

and he was watching her every day and just couldn't help himself. So once they got him talking and got him to confess, he started to confessing to all of these different murders. Some of them were closed cases. Now, typically I say the Germans are smart people.

Typically, I'm proud of my heritage, but this is pretty, pretty rough. In total, two men were falsely accused or imprisoned, and three men committed suicide in relation to Kroll's murders. Oh, no. Yeah, there is this one guy who was accused of the murder that Kroll did, and the entire town turned on him, and so he just hung himself in the woods.

That's like the incidental body count. Holy shit. And Kroll didn't give a shit. He goes, that's their problem, not mine. Oh, my God. He's like, they hung themselves. What are they sex dolls? Broompa.

Come on. Come on, kids. Am I right, people? Try the veal. So there was a time when the neighbor started to get a little bit suspicious. And things started to stink a little bit. One of the horrifying things of Kroll's crimes was that he took pleasure in taking out the intestines of his victims. And he'd told a neighbor who was asking him what the smell was.

He said rather flippantly, oh, he said. It's guts, which it literally was, intestines. And the neighbor complained. Crow was nothing if not brazen. So this guy's getting cocky. This guy's getting cocky. He's bringing victims home, tearing him apart, putting them all over the apartment.

And this is actually... It's an apartment? Yes. And this is actually what led to... Oh, Christ. To him getting busted for this. Listen to this scene after the four-year-old girl went missing. Door to door.

throughout the neighborhood led the police directly to crawl. Inside his home was an horrific crime scene. Detectives found a sauceman on the stove with body parts in it. Worse still were the contents of the refrigerator. There was this girl completely dismembered, upper arm, forearm, placed on corresponding shelves so that he only had to take something out and add it to the pan. That was unfathomable for us. That's right, Biddy.

not only is this guy raping, murdering fucking corpses, he's also a cannibal. This guy does it all. His nickname at one point was the Rua cannibal or the Rua hunter because he regularly boasted in the wake of his capture

that he ate the victims. He said it was the only meat he could eat. Yeah, he's a particular. Yeah, well, he's kind of a vegetarian. You know, otherwise. Otherwise.

Otherwise, it's very much a vegetarian. Let me tell you the ages of the victims, Vinnie. Okay. I think this guy's got some range here. 1912, 24, 16, 12, 13, 13, 13, 25, 20, 5, 61, 13, 10, and 4. One of these things is not like the other. He went from a 5-year-old to a 61-year-old. Oh, well, you know.

Yikes. Some people keep themselves looking young. now how many of these people were dressed as sailors none of them were dressed as sailors these were women that uh kroll really wanted to have sex with and figured out a way to do it but did like before he killed them did they know he just really wanted to he would did he explain it to him he would go up and ask them if they would have sex with him and as soon as they rejected him then he would strangle them to death yeah i'm reading this uh side conversation going on in the youtube right now casey listen to what he's telling you be careful when they ask

all right kids so that's it uh vote for carl we're starting up a a whole new game here at zero zero the uh the board is reset and uh we're still going to keep the guest number two okay one of these days they might get to five i doubt it i think you will i told you guys real quick i'm going to give you just a synopsis of the germans that i did not pick oh right yes so carl i can't believe yokem kroll didn't show up on this uh i looked at him but he i didn't pick him so i'll go with this first one I was to do. His name was Johan Mayer. And this guy murdered like six people, but he

had one arm, right? And it was like, they called him stumfam that was his name. And he murdered these people by strangling them. Somehow he did it with one arm, which is fucking amazing. And then what he did was, because he didn't want to get caught, he took off the heads and the arms of the bodies. Now you

would think that's so they can't identify who they were, whatever. No. What he did was he would cut off the arms and the heads of the bodies, and then he would like sew them on to one of the other victims and then go leave the body somewhere. Oh, how fun! He'd be like, ah, ha! Yeah. Try to catch me down.

Made no sense. So, I didn't pick him. Then I was, there was a guy named Carl Denke, and his nickname was Papa Denke, and he played Oregon in a church. One day, a homeless guy comes running out of his house with an axe in his head, and he's like, help me, help me. Cops show up, and they arrested

the guy, took him to jail, and he hung himself that night in the prison. But they went into his house, and they went into his bedroom and there was just piles of human boats oh jesus piles of humid boats and it turns out what he was doing was he was skidding people and because this was like a same time around the beginning of world war two yeah he was selling the meat in jars yeah that was popadinky so the wasn't getting paid a lot to play the organ in the church then huh yeah yeah that was his side business but that was a little close to my creep from the week before so i didn't do that one there was one other

person i was used but i'm going to save them because our pal dr steve is going to be coming on the show soon. Oh, good. And I found a creepy German medical professional that I'm going to save. Oh, good. Okay. That'll be fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Germans, holy fucking shit. Yeah. What a country. Seriously. A lot of creeps. Now, Carl, I would love to tell you that the voicemail

segment is brought to you by the good friends in Syracuse. Syracuse did not send us an ad for today. What? Yeah. Yeah. Those checks keep coming in. I guess that's okay. All right, McBride. Get on it. Now, I do have a voicemail for you. That absolutely blew my mind. Because this sounds like a normal human being leaving us a voicemail.

Oh, weird. This is not the voice I would expect to be calling our voicemail line. Hey, Carl and Vinny. It's Meredith. I just wanted to let you guys know. I had a 13-hour drive on Saturday, so I was fresh out of WACP and Drew and Mike. So somehow I had a brainwave. I got to check out the creep off.

Why did I not do this sooner? I binged it. I started with the latest episode. I ended at Creeps and Roses, loved all of it. Honestly, I've got to say, Vinny, you've got the edge. I don't know how Carl wins this stuff. Anyway, we love it so much. That's because he's a...

Fuck. ...true and I just throw a suggestion for the worst true crime podcast, Patty C. Cups. Think about it, guys. Bye. Yeah, Carl tried that already. Merida, thank you for catching up and thank you for the call. Yeah, Meredith. Thank you so much.

It was nice to hear from you. I'm glad you're enjoying the show. That was Carl. Hey, Vin, this is Carl. You can have your Vietnam pizza parties. I'm having the Cuzzles, Carl, Cousal Rooz Powwauer. I'm a chug-white. Claws. I'm going to yell about the bills. We're going to watch Patrick Michael. Real up

class. A real white hood under a white tie event. Be there. A white hood under a white tie event. All right, Couseroo's. So I did a bonus episode. You patrons out there may have enjoyed it without Carl. It was the first Carlis episode, except that wasn't a creeps and roses. Yeah. And it was a lot of fun. We had Kaya on. I had Andy. And then I had my buddy Mike Barry, people apparently really liked him. Good, good. Well, we'll have to get him on the real show. Not your little fake side thing that you pretended to do. I'm going to tell you something right now. It's going to be hard to get him back because he's the closest thing I know to a feral human.

Okay. So he's tough to get out. But the first thing he tells me is we're talking, watching videos of pedophiles. And he goes, yeah, yeah, me and some kids, we were going to start a gang when we were beating up pedophiles, you know, at the start of COVID. At the start of COVID. You know, like, when there were no more rules anymore, you could just do that. Yeah, he literally thought the cops wouldn't care. And I mean, I'm telling you, this is an interesting listen.

So go get it. I'll check it out. Give it a shot. I think you'll enjoy it. We also did a, who are these creeps? Bonus episode. So there was two bonus episodes last week. Correct.

That means we're done for July. Who are these creeps? Have you looked at the voting on that? No, how did I win? Did you put up a poll on your Patreon? I did. I did have a poll on our Patreon. I had it on the WTP Patreon as well.

Let me see where we're at. All right. Let's see. Pulling this up here. Um, I started off with the lead when we, first posted it and uh that ended abruptly because now i am at 138 votes to year 166 hell yeah i don't really won killer queens running away with that shows terrible folks if you want to hear really bad a really terrible true crime podcast it's way more successful than

ours check out killer queens you'll want to rip your own teeth out oh two sisters who like to goof around about stuff from the 90s hey i want to tell you about this murder and Except for the suicide of Kurt Cobain. Right. That was something they know nothing about. All right. Give that a listen. Here we go.

Hey, Roscoe here. It was catching up on episodes listed in episode 64. Creepiest social worker. Really enjoying the voice reenactments of the crimes. Please make that a regular thing across the show. But the voice you guys used wasn't vain. It was one of the most awful creeps of all time. allow me to reenact.

Dad, can I check my fantasy team? What do I get? Everything comes to the price, Tom. That's right, the biggest creep of all time. None other than kiss your son on the mouth, on video, Tom Brady. That's what do I get? Oh, thank you, Rosco. Tom Brady is a creep.

You don't have to sell us hard on this. Vinny, I give a voicemail for you, buddy. All right, go ahead. Yeah, Carl You're a fucking free idea for a show here All right Um So obviously the creep off

It sucks And Vinny would rather be doing A pro wrestling show anyway How dare you? No, I don't know Why don't he just do that? And he can have the format be

That he's into it You're not that into it But you can make fun of it And shit It's a great idea and you make a bunch of money. So you're welcome, Carl. Call me back.

So here's the problem with this now. Vinny doesn't contribute a lot to the show, but the one thing... Are you fucking kidding? The one thing that Vidi has done for this show, the creep-off, is coming up with the format. And the format is fantastic. Now, yes, eventually we'll get another co-hose.

It'll be better and funny. We won't talk about wrestling as much. But that's a terrible idea that I've got to listen to him talking about wrestling on a podcast. That's a terrible idea. that should be on the real consequences that I have to co-host a wrestling

podcast with Vinny. Hey, does anybody want to know about my fantasy wrestling league? Because I'm in one. Are you really? And yeah, the Helen to sell pay-per-view was last night and I took over first place because Natalia won in the prelim show and then the almighty Bobby Lashley be Drew McIntyre for the

WWJ. And I'm still in the lead. How do you like it when people talk about the same? Who fucking cares? I'll fucking kill you. Think about it. Would this be interesting to you? Would you listen to this? It's boring as shit. I've done talking to you.

I had a great idea for a consequence on the wheel. The loser has to legally change their name and how it's spelt. So Carl has to be spelled C-A-R-L or Vinny has to be V-I-N-Y-Polino. I think it'll be really funny, especially if it's like down to fucking the last like 4-4 and it's down to the last guy if anybody's game like they have to go

and it's a big paint in the ass and it would be really petty and dumb uh yeah anyway see you later C-A-R-L Carl and V-I-N-N-Y Paulino aren't you funny what do you think of that

you had to legally change your name so I was actually just processing this and I was thinking about it Vinny is a nickname yeah I don't have to do shit we can all spell Vinny's name however we want to yeah he made it up

it doesn't matter but I thought he was was going to tell me how to change my name to Carl Hamburger, which would have been funny. C.A. R. Well, somebody put something at the Discord or somewhere, or maybe it was Reddit, because I put out a WATP episode that was a bonus show that you and I did a few weeks ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they thought that that was cheating.

Someone called me Carl Hamburgerger. And I can't remember the context, exactly, but it was funny. We've established your cheater. Last VoiceVail. Hey, Vinny, again, love the show. I voted for you for this one because Carl. was terrible at his job. Also, I wanted to put in for a consequence that,

let's say if you lose, that you vote for, well, whomever, but really, I just wanted it so that Carl has to vote for Cuomo whenever he's up again. Or just put a picture of Cuomo in his background. Also, the door sucks, mostly because it's introductory music for the pretentious tortured artist. So, yeah, the door still suck. Good job, Winnie Vinnie. People's chair.

Thank you. And I agree. Like, the doors are whatever the doors are. But anybody who tells you they really like the doors, my eyes roll in the back of the I know. I really like the doors, though. Do you really? I do.

I really do. Carl's just in his house going, show me the way to the next whiskey bar. Don't ask why. Fucking loser. You really like the doors? I do. I do really like the door. And I think he's referring to.

I talked about that with Kevin. You, like, a lot? Well, I don't. play it often, but it's one of those bands that I've enjoyed for most of my life. Really? Yes. For real. For real.

His feet are like a club. Well, the reason why we were talking about it is Kevin and I, I'm the latest WTP. If you haven't listened to it yet, you should, we decided to pop on the old Smule account and our buddy, herb patch beta patch. Herb beta patch. Our buddy from Syracuse there sent me links to all. of his favorite songs.

So we checked out Patrick Michael singing Riders on the Storm and it was one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Okay. I just can't believe what a weird

karaoke song that is. Riders on the storm? That's a strange pick to get the crowd going. It's all piano music. The whole song is piano music and then maybe like the melody is two different notes.

It's just, it's not really something you would choose to show off your chops. What's that one door song with the horns? Oh. Come on, come on. Touch me, babe.

Yeah. Noddy, naughty. right moving on you guys want to uh you guys want to do a scum parade what do you say oh is it scum parade time let's hit it let's do it watch out for the skum parade oh no it's a skum parade god for the scum parade making finney's day his day We're going to start off today in California in San Jose. Do you know the way to San Jose? I do.

It's West. Alex Corpus Moreno was formally charged Wednesday with gross vehicular manslaughter. He must have done it in an icky fashion and driving under the influence causing injury. In a police report accompanying the criminal complaint, Moreno was asked to leave a bar after showing signs of heavy intoxication and after reportedly being seen using cocaine out in the open. Dude. bro go to the bathroom you gotta go to the bathroom that shit it's not a joint we're not there yet with the coke ate okay one of the final straws appears to have been when he was trying to take a woman's top off yeah yeah so he was just a loud asshole in a bar doing coke and fucking harassing people bar employees and security guards told the police of merino and his companion a 24 year old woman agreed to leave and walked to the parking lot of the restaurant to get into his Chevy silverado which was owned by his employer yeah this is dodgy His car. It's got the employer logo right on the side.

Nice little advertising for them. Absolutely. Yep, yep, yep. And multiple witnesses stated that Moreno and the woman were in the truck for about a half of an hour. The woman who said she had several shots of tequila at the bar told police that she began performing oral sex on him while he sat in the driver's seat. For a half an hour, that is some Coke whiskey dick right there. That certainly is. And that she did not realize the truck started moving.

Oh, yeah. As you wouldn't notice if you were sucking a guy's dick. while he's driving a car, you wouldn't notice. Maybe you wouldn't. Oh, wait. She told investigators that her next memory was being pulled out of the truck after the crash. According to the police

investigation, a witness's accounts, the truck traveled as fast as 45 miles per hour. In a parking lot. 170 feet through the parking lot, barreling through umbrellas and tables, forcing patrons to jump out of the way and ultimately hitting a group of

three people. Jesus. The three victims who had been sitting at a table were pinned against the side of the restaurant by the truck, which security guards was still revving after the impact. Did this guy just pass out with his foot on the pedal or something? And a bitch on his dick. Yeah. Yeah. And it's not a bad way to go if you're going to die.

One guard had to reengage the truck's transmission to stop the vehicle and free the injured victims. According to the police report, Marino was pulled out of the truck by security guards who detained him until the police officers arrived. The cop said the woman almost was. almost dead at the scene. They took her by, they took her to the hospital. She died three hours later. The woman who is blowing

him tried to take the blame for our guy. I want to point out, this is the world's greatest girlfriend. She's up there. If there are any women listening to the show, I don't think there are, but if there are, Meredith. Meredith. Meredith. Casey, take note.

This is how you get the world's greatest girlfriend award. You blow your man and then take the blame when he kills people. that's it you would get a hell of a card on mother's day oh my you might even get a spa certificate or something i am marrying that girl as soon as she gets out of prison for the crimes that i committed i'm marrying that girl yeah my wife is more likely to kill me and bury me in the backyard than fucking take the blame for anything i do she died about i'd be i'd be there with a shovel too

yeah you're gonna get to that story in a couple of minutes the woman tried to say that she that was her fault that she was driving. And then they were like, you know that the cop's like, ma'am, you realize that there's like a person is smeared against the fucking wall over here. You had to scrape them off. And these other people are like broken legs and on the ground whimpering.

You're telling me you did this. And she was like, oh, no, no, I was. And I was just sucking his dick. Sorry. I love the way they described the article. She backed off of the claim after a preponderance of the evidence. Yeah. The woman's name is being withheld by the news

organization because she was not arrested her charged with any crime. He's being charged with lots of crimes. So that's our boy, Alex Marino. So I actually have a quote from Alex when he was reached for comment. He said this. Cocaine is a hell of a drug. This guy was zooted out of his mind. Yeah, he was. All right. Let's go down to, what do you say? Go down to Alabama. Alabama man. Yeah, my wife's home state, a state that I spent a lot of time in. And this story does not surprise me in the least, kids. Tim Clevenger, the 54-year-old former assistant principal at Locus Fork High School, pled guilty in Blunt County Circuit Court to counts of production and production of production of child pornography, pledged in a different victim. Because of the way you set this up.

Do you think there's more pedophiles in Alabama than there aren't other states? Do you think pedophilia is more rampant in Alabama? I mean, I would imagine there are just as many pedophiles in New York as there are in Alabama. Well, from what I understand from the Vietnam birthday special for Mike Barry, apparently Mount Morris is the country's spot for Pito's. Okay. And apparently there's a special trailer park in Florida as well that houses them. Wait a second.

So kind of like how San Francisco is like the mecca for homosexuals, there's like a place where people go if you're a pedophile? Yeah, Mount Morris. They go to Lexington State Park, the Grand Canyon of the East. They all just take you out there. Okay. The reason why I said I didn't believe it is because he denied, denied, denied this whole situation. After his arrest in 2015 and through the trial, he blamed his nine-year-old son for all of it.

Okay. His nine-year-old kid who hasn't hit puberty is the one who is making the videos of the girls taking a shower at his house looking in through the window. So this is interesting because I can't remember what article who wrote about this, but they called him a piece of crap. Yeah, they did. Well, the judge did. Alabama, they don't care. They're like the Germans back in Germany. They're like, oh, fuck this guy.

They're like, he's a piece of shit. He did this. Yeah. Well, so they call him a piece of shit because he falsely accused his son of doing this. But you've got to think about this. The nine-year-old is going to get in way less trouble than his father is going to. Like, sometimes you got to take a little bit. you got to take one for the team, you know?

Okay. So you don't want LeBron to follow out, right? You got to take one for the team. Well, his story makes no sense. Let me just say this. They alleged that he would wait until nightfall then stand outside of the bathroom window with a video camera filming the young girls

through the blinds as they bathed or showered. They were showering at 1.30 in the morning. That's his story. That's what they're alleging. The first of Clevenger's videos was discovered when the then assistant principal sent his school-owned laptop into the district central office for technical support. That is a Russian hoax.

That was not his laptop. It was Russian disinformation. It was goddamn Bo Bindens. It was goddamn Bo Binds' laptop. Disinformation. My 9-year-old son, Bo, did all sorts of math, and then he took pictures of himself. No, this story's crazy. So his 9-year-old did it and put it out his school laptop.

They searched the catch of the laptop. They found a bunch of videos. Finally, the reason we're bringing up this story is because after a few years, he finally was like, all right, fine, my kid didn't do it. It was me. It took from 2018 to now a pandemic and everything to get this fucking asshole to admit that it was him. He was sentenced to 18 years on each of the two additional production counts and seven years for each of the two additional possessor of child. See, that's what I'm talking about.

that's a lot of jail time it is the kid wouldn't have gotten that deserved jail time the kid would have been on a sex registry or something it'd be fine this guy was the assistant principal you think he was uncomfortable being interrogated he's used to be on the other side of the desk

I would love to see my my old assistant principal be interrogated for child porn I would fucking love that can I ask a dumb question what else would you ask I would never have images or videos like that on a device of mine but Well, where do you keep your images like that?

I don't have that type of sec. But if I, if I were to have that and I brought my computer somewhere to be prepared or maintenance or, you know, you have to bring it to your employer, I would assume that they were going to, like, search through every folder and try to figure out what types of files I have on my machine. Well, when they found the shit on his computer. Yeah, what was it labeled like 10 year old girl undressing one, 10 year old girl undressing two? Like, what were the file days? I'm sure they were very boomer-esque, but can I say this? He didn't do what you're supposed to do. If you're a pito, I'm not the one.

What are he supposed to do, baby? I'm not the one who's giving advice here today, but I'm just going to say this. If you are one of these sick, sick, fucking people, stop it. Number one, stop it. Fucking stop it. That's enough. Go get help. Stop it. But

if you have the stuff at your computer breaks and you need to get it fixed, here's how you fix your computer. It's very simple. You pour bleach on it and you beat it with a fucking hammer. You set it on fire. You're fucking throw it off a goddamn bridge. And then you go buy a new one, asshole. That's what you do. You put it in Jeff Bezos rocket and fly it into space.

The fucking son. Shoot it into the goddamn sun. Shoot it into the sun, dude. I know you want to see those images again. You just have to remember them fondly, but get rid of that shit. Type for a new computer. A brand new computer. That's the answer. So he's in a lot of trouble, and that's that.

Now, I want to take a second and shout out somebody. Our boy, I believe his Christian name is Iigour gangrenously. Ah, yes. Alex. Thank you. He sends me so many good stories every week. I fucking adore this kid. His real name might be Alex, but we're calling him Igor from now on.

Joshua Lee Patterson, 20 years old. So wait a second. He has three names. I draw a limit on two names. One internet name, one real name. I can't have two fake names and a real name. I can't keep tracking that. Yeah, we'll just call, we'll say Joshua

Patterson. We'll get rid of the Lee. How's that? He's 20 years. No, I'm talking about gangrenously. Oh. I can't have I gore. Alex Gagrinously. I'm too many names. Igor. You, you're already moving on. I wasn't moving on you. Oh, Jesus Christ. Igor. Iger. Whatever. Okay. Joshua Lee Patterson. That's his name. Yeah, that's fine. I'm fine with Joshua Lee Patterson. There's a hyphen in it. It's not Alex Igor gangrenuously. I can't be on a true crime show and hate people with three names. That would be ridiculous. I'm actually going to name this episode after him. It's just going to be Igor gangrenously. movie today with this episode. Perfect.

This dude, he's 20 years old. He was led off with 225 hours of unpaid work, despite admitting bestiality at a farm and Cothal Abershire. This was in, I believe, Scotland. Yeah. Now, unpaid work is basically you have to do community service.

Right. So, he was spared this because he was just 17 years old at the time of the three-month abuse. Now, his two equestrian enthusiast, palzo, Jordan Turnbull, and a guy named Mark Finletter. Jordan was 28, and Mark Finn Letter was 34.

They should know better than probably. Yes. Turnbull got seven months, and Finlater got 13 months after he pled guilty of sharing pictures of the vile attacks on the internet. So he basically filmed these guys fucking horses and put it online. But this is really insane. They must have a good defense, though. No, they don't. Their defenses, they blame this Finletter guy.

They said that he made him do it. They blame it. He made us fuck the horses. He made me do it. It's a terrible defense for courts. Now, Turnbull and Lee Patterson later admitted having, quote, an unnatural connection with the animals. Yeah. But that he did all this under duress to protect them from Finletter.

Right. Of course. Yes. The court heard that Finletter was in a relationship with Turnbull and Lee Patterson at different times. So I think they were all fucking each other. Oh, is that what that meant? I think that's what that meant. This story was very confusing.

It is very confusing because it is very confusing because it. it's all in like Scottish fucking parlance. So the corner of the Finlater was in a relationship with them at different times, but both men blamed him, claiming he controlled and manipulated them into attacking the horses. He said

that Patterson said he was trying to protect the animals who were abused in a small wooden stable between October and December 2018. He said that Finlitter had threatened to harm the horses if he didn't fuck him. There is nothing you can threaten me with, Vinny, that would get me to fuck a horse. There's nothing.

I can shoot the fucking horse. They do it all the time. I'm not fucking sticking my dick at it. Shoot the fucking horse in the head for all I care. I'm just saying this is not a good defense. No shit. This is not a good defense at all. Did you tell an authority that this person wanted to harm this horse?

No, no, we just fucked it. We just went along with it. It seemed like the right thing to do. All of these incidents were captured on a mobile phone that Finn Letter was holding. And he claims that he wasn't. He claimed somebody else filmed it. I must be missing. out on something here, Vinny. I've never

once been breaking the law and thought we've got to get this on video. Let's get this uploaded to social media ASAP. Can we, fellas? Yeah. I don't understand this mentality. I guess it's just the TikTok generation. Well, this Finletter dude, apparently he's into this. He's got quite the rap sheet

for bestiality. And he insisted that he had not witnessed any of the attacks and he did share them, but somebody sent him to him on Facebook. Oh, well, then what do you get to that? Someone sent me these pictures of these guys fucking the horses for on the Instagram and I just shared it in my story.

I don't know. But either way, all these people are in trouble. Finletter owned the horses. They were two Shetland ponies. So in essence, they were fucking little Sebastian, like they're miniature ponies, which is very strange. Why, what kind of horse do you want to fuck, buddy? Why is that so

strange? You're like, I would even never fuck one of these horses. Listen, I would assume that if you're into fucking horses you're going to want to fuck one that doesn't look like a kid horse like the little thing they look like little ponies i don't know vini a uh full-sized horse usually when people do that they're on the receiving end so i'm going to tell you something right now yes this is not my hill to die on okay i'm not mr hands i don't give a fuck fair enough i don't care how you fuck your horses people just again if you're into horses okay stop it stop it stop it

Patterson's fiancé left him. They also put that in the article. His fiancé left him and took all of their animals with her. Yeah, good. Good, good move. So they're all a bunch of fucking scumbags in Scotland. Do you want to hear that you're the sloppy second after a fucking horse? That's got to suck.

Yeah. She's like, but I sucked you off. Yeah. You and the what? Oh, fuck. Honey, your main just could not compare. Oh, boy. The mother of a four-year-old girl, whose remains were found in a North Carolina home last month, forced her 13-year-old daughter to help bury her sister in the backyard.

All right. Immediately, my first thought on this was 13-year-old, never a good accomplice. Never. Have a 13-year-old as you're a accomplice? Have you ever in your life been able to tell a 13-year-old a secret? No! When you were 13 years old, did you ever keep one? Never!

Exactly. That's so stupid. All right. Now, here's the deal. You were going to shovel a grave for your sister, but you can't tell anyone, all right? Charlotte Police found Magellic Young's body. Her nickname was Jelly. I don't know what kind of name Magellic is, but her nickname was Jelly.

Retarded. Jelly had lived with her mother, Malika Bennett, her boyfriend and seven other children in the home since August. The search warrant says the 13-year-old girl told police she was Jelly's sister and Bennett's daughter, the Warren, The girl who police did not name said Bennett forced jelly to stand in the laundry room as punishment for, quote, having a bowel movement in her pants. So little jelly shit herself. Four year old shit herself. Okay, it happens. Yeah, it's four year old.

It happens. So Leika Bennett, the mother, makes jelly stand in the room for three days. That seems like a normal punishment. No, no, no. Without sitting down, without any food, without any water. and according to the 13 year old without any water they came for nothing

you're just going to kill the person they made the child stand there for three days I don't even know how that's possible a four year old how is that possible you can get a four year old just stand somewhere for three days without you have to be awfully fucking scared of the person

that four years who told you yeah so the 13 year old says that jelly's breathing was off and on and the warrant says once she got too weak the girl fell out the back and hit her head on the ground. Like she fell down, hit her head, and passed out. The girl said the mother

tried to do CPR without success, and that's when jelly died. Then she cared about her all of a sudden. That's what she started to care. Not what she didn't give her water for three days? I believe she was like, I'm going to be in big trouble. Whoops. So Bennett, the mother, washed up jelly and placed her body in two black plastic trash bags. The 13-year-old told police, according to the warrant, Bennett, then put Jelly's body in the trunk of a blue Ford our SUV where she remained for five days until the smell became too bad.

The warrant says Bennett drove the SUV to go buy a shovel then returned home. The word also says after digging the hole, Bennett made the 13-year-old pick up her sister's body placed it in the ground and cover it with dirt. The search warrant says police found a teal saturn view at the

home. The warrant says officers also seized a shovel, swab the car and a cell phone. Jelly's body had serious physical injuries, including bruises, swelling, and black eyes. The mother's being charged with murder, and she was caught after police responded to a welfare request from a child protective service worker. When police approached Bennett about her missing daughter that day, she told him she had dropped jelly off with the family member in August, but hadn't reported her missing or seen her since.

That makes sense. Yeah. That story checks out. So we're talking last August to May. Wow. Yeah. The family members said that they had no knowledge of Bennett's statements or where jelly went. They said they had no idea what happened to her.

Family members may have lied. Some of them are being accused of lying that they didn't know that this happened. The 13-year-old rolled over. The mother being charged with first-degree murder. They got her talking. They got that 13-year-old. I'm guess they gave her a TikTok video or something. What do you get of a 13-year-old these days?

Jelly beans? I wouldn't know, Vinny. I don't try to get it. 13 year olds to do anything the cops are like I know it'll make her talk say hey what do you say give me a nickel

I just turn into a job I don't know I don't know but even Bennett's mom was in on it the grandma was in on this too the entire fucking family was in on this they're all like jelly who well no I wonder what the grandma's thinking like wait what did she do she shit herself

well I guess she got what's coming to her Oh, grandma's like, please don't look at my pants. Yeah, right. I'm next. Her old lady cheeks just clutched a little harder. Well, I think in this family, grandma is about like 38 years old. Just FYI. I'm not saying that, but probably.

She was denied bond on a court hearing in May. She's also facing three pending misdemeanor child abuse charges from February 2020. And according to the observer's search of public records, that's that. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us for another edition of the Creepoff. I want to thank all of our patrons. I want to thank the Cozerooze, the Creep of Maniacs, the Scumperate Mary Monarchers, and most importantly, exaltior. True believers. Carl, do you have anything you like to say before we go today?

Yeah, I got to spin the fucking wheel, buddy. How did you forget this? How did you forget that's a wheel spinning day? I just want to leave. All right. No. We'll spin it another time then. That's fine.

Let's get out of here. I'm so hung over from this weekend, Carl. You don't even know. Oh, that's hilarious. So, yeah. Okay, let's talk about the wheel. Let's talk about the wheel. What do we got?

What do we discuss about this? I need some Rick Flair music right now. Should I come over to your side? No, I'm going to bring it over to you. Hold on. Be right there. All right. Then he's going to come over here with the wheel for me.

Hey. When you started doing your wrap-up spiel, I was really surprised. I'm like, I know he's excited about me spinning this wheel. I can't believe we just forgot. All right, Carl. Why don't you read everybody what's on the wheel? I'm just going to sit back and provide commentary. Yeah, don't we want to swap something out?

Well, what do you want to get? Let's talk about it. Okay, let's talk about it. What are the options? Change your name legally? What are we actually swapping out here? I don't know. Suttering John's book report, whatever.

That one's still good. You have to buy and read Suttering John's book and write a book report about it. That will be graded by a teacher. Season two, so this is what you still have to do, right? Have you even started this yet? What's going out with your consequences? Okay, I will talk about that. I have been trying very hard to get PJ to come out of retirement to do this show.

PJ, I thought he passed away. The reason this has been delayed is because I've been trying to practice necromancy and raise PJ from the dead. But I don't think it's going to happen. Gotcha. Okay. I have tried to find some replacements. It's been a little difficult. McBride is going to join me.

Oh, there you go. But McBride got a new job, and now I'm dealing with his fucking schedule. Oh, so that's so we don't have a Syracuse ad. We don't have Creepton Roses. I think this show's relied a little bit too much on our buddy. McBride to be honest with that we love you Brian so like we'll get that worked out I just it's been scheduling and finding the right calls for it but it is coming and it will be fantastic when it does so we got to replace this right we can't have season two how about we just do what

I what we had originally which was a podcast about my choice of topic oh okay that's fine a five part podcast okay and you choose the topic all right that's fine okay uh semenology that's where we have to buy the book autograph copy of the book yeah and be seen reading it in public. Okay. Truck nuts to buy the stupid truck nuts and put them on our vehicles. Correct. Two hour handcuffed music.

This is where I will be handcuffed to the wall while listening to music that Vinny picks out for me for two hours live streaming that. Oh, God, I hope you get that one. It's a fun one. He's already picked a song for that. What is this knife edge? Nudge chops from Colin Delaney. Oh, right.

WWE superstar Colin Delaney will provide three knife edge chops to your bare chest. Brutal. those will hurt like a motherfucker Carl. I'm not looking forward to that. That will hurt like a motherfucker. God, your chest might cave in. And Carl's not even that big of a guy, but you're not built for that. I'm not a professional

wrestling. No, you are not built. I can take a knife at shop. I got paddy. Yes, you probably could. And it'd be a lot funnier if you did, too. Yeah, ripples. I think if I roll that one, you should have to do it. No. Pass the spin, the very fun, all of a sudden, the everything turns around, and Vinny has to spin the wheel. That's fun.

Vic and Seamus stand-up. Oh, you have the funniest person in Rochester contest going on. Oh, I'll sneak you right into the contest. Sneak me right into the lineup, and I'll just go up there and start doing it by Seamus. I can see a kid this weekend if you land on it. And I'll have a camera running. Oh, my gosh. You can't announce you by my real name, though.

Carl Hamburger. Dinner with a listener. Ew. What's Twitch stream? What is that doing? Twitch stream on there? Yeah, what does that mean? I don't remember.

We're bad at those guys. What is it? Does anyone in the chat remember why we have Twitch stream on here? Oh, you have to do like, I don't know. I don't know. Fuck that one. I say you have to change your name legally. Okay.

Drive to Gary, Indiana. Tom Myers Restaurant, seven second porn challenge. Yes, that's where you have to go into a store. That's where you have to go into a store and play porn on your phone really, really loud for seven seconds. Every time I read these, I get really nervous about what it's going to land on. so i i wish i knew what this one was though this uh twitch i feel like we should change you should do a 12 hour twitch stream no yeah can't do it i've done it can't do it i've done a 12 hour stream can't do it can't do it too busy too much no you're not yes i am yes i am no you're not so

are you see this people i can't do it let me tell you people want you to land on anything people want you to land on tom myers restaurant i don't care if you have to fly okay all right You just have to go to fucking Tom Myers' restaurant. Okay, all right. That'd be fun. So hold on. Anybody have any suggestions? Last call in the YouTube chat.

Yeah, instead of the Twitch stream. I don't know what that. I don't even know what that is. I don't like it. So the rule. Oh, oh, oh, oh, I got one. You got a good one? How about you have to give up your half of the Patreon book?

What? No. All right. So the rule is I'm spin the wheel. Yeah. If it lands on something down, I'm like, there's just no fucking way I'm going to do that. Then I get to pass on that. But then Vinny gets to pick my.

consequence, and I have to do what Benny says. Everyone clear on that? Great. All right, here we go. Let's see what happens. Coming around, coming around. I need it to go. Oh, and I almost got the time where his restaurant is the seven-second board challenge. Oh, that's an easy one. Seven-second board challenge.

So I have to go. Hold on. I'm coming to do it specs. I have to go to a store. It's not in fame. I just want to make sure. I have to go to a crowded store. and damn time i was so close it was like

just came back don't worry i'm going to go with you to do this i'm going to film it you're going to be the one filming it i have to watch porn very loudly on my phone for seven seconds here's what i'm imagining produce department in weggman's on a saturday okay where you just walk in you stand in the middle of it you turn your volume up all the way on your phone and you just blast that porn right there in the middle of it we'll figure it out we'll figure it out i love how there's no masks Oh, that sucks, Andy, they're smiling. I don't know.

I still wear a mask when I go into grocery stores. You have the option to choose not to do it. I still wear a mask and grocery stores. You have the option to choose not to take the consequence. I like to be safe. Well, all right. You have the choice not to choose the consequence. I haven't done that yet.

I'm not going to start now, but what would you choose for me if I were to pass on this? Do you have one in mind? Well, the only one that I really, really want to see is the music challenge. We have to listen to a song for two hours. Yeah, I know. That would be fun. Because I was absolutely tormented, and I know you hated doing the cuties thing. That's brutal.

So, yeah, I think maybe I would go with that. All right, we're doing seven-second porn challenge. All right. Maybe a Walmart. In a Walmart, though, they might make you manager. I like your moxie, kid. Yeah. Grab a mop.

You're in charge. You're in charge now. Can you open with the scheduling, please? Carl's grabbing a mop again. Just like back in the day. All right, kids. Well, this was been a lot of fun. uh carl's going to do the seven second

port challenge hopefully pretty quick we can get this bust out we go do this right now we can bang this one out now we can go do this right now right now wear the who are these podcast shirt no i don't think so i'm going to wear a veney's uh vietnam t-shirt the scumprey mary marcher shirt sure all right ladies and gentlemen it's nice to be important it's more important to be nice gagia

the cars are passing me by they honk and say hello Hey, that got his jacket on him. I'm popped by the sailor man. I'm pumped by the sailor man. I'm scorn to the finish, because I eat me spinach. I'm popped by the sailor man. Cocaine is a hell of a drug. Some bad hat hair.

This is stupid. Thank you.