The Creep Off - Episode 72: Relax Dude

Episode Date: July 20, 2021

This week Vinnie & Karl couldn't wait to get back to the states to the creepiest girls in the world: Cros needs some gambling advice in this weeks "Dear Karl: In the Scum Parade we meet a new father who's babies mama still needs a babysitter, A Texas dog & child enthusiast and a Florida man who felt the need to teach an alligator a lesson.

I'm sorry for calling you the C-word in that text message when you were late. That was a 1202. I just wanted to point. I wasn't that late at the time. That's going to start it. Attention parents. What you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups.

You might want to walk away now if you ain't any of these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation. Horror shock. I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive. And I'm not backing down. Cuckoo, cuckoo. Never rub another man's rhubarb.

lasting, vomit-inducing thing. Ola Creepos, welcome to another edition of your favorite true crime podcast to show about creeps, by creeps, for you creeps. I am your host, Vinny. The people's champion. And there's my co-host. That is one big pile of shit. It's Carl.

What's happening in Vinnie, Pauline? How you doing today, buddy? I'm trying to feel better, man. Still recovering. I'm here and I'm smiling. That's good. I'm glad to see that. How's everybody out there in the chat?

some folks are watching it live on YouTube gives a shit good point fucking moving on someone posted something in the discord today that uh concern me a little bit car oh really what was that i haven't seen well what they said was hey i was at work listening to the show and then my co-worker asked me what i was listening to and i said true crime and he made it sound like that he actually told this person about the show and he said carl if i lose my friend over this show i'm going to be be very mad at you. Oh, that would be your mistake, my friend. I don't tell people I'm on the show when alone I listen to it. Why? As video documented. Why don't, why is everyone so goddamn ashamed to the show? I like, I tell everybody. I tell people in line of Wegmans. Yeah, you would do that.

Which is way less creepier than the seven second porn challenge. Okay, maybe a little more creepier. But I just want to say, I find it, I'm so upset that people are ashamed of this I can't be held with people losing their jobs. Tell a friend. Over this content. Tell a friend. We're not that bad, kids. I mean, I can't say we're worse than anything else that's ever been on the radio.

Well, yeah. I think we can say that. Worse than anything's ever been on the radio? Yeah, for sure. 100%. Didn't I play audio of a girl getting raped on this show once? Yeah, but it was fake. Yeah, but we didn't know that at the time, did we?

You claimed to after. Carl tried to get out of trouble. Let's talk about what happened last week, Vinny. Would you like to? Yes, because we got to figure out we had creepiest Australian. Yes, we did. We both brought some very good cases. My guy came on a baby.

He sure did. He certainly did. I have the results right here. Okay. And let's see. Because I waited up last night to 1159. Okay. 12 o'clock and 1201.

Here's the screenshots. And here they are. It looks like Vinny has 52% of the vote. right please that's a close vote man you're not a huge deal of going

back on another point another point your first point it's your first point of this game it's a good point I earned it

and I'm happy about it I'm not you're not going to sweet me buddy that was a I had a good one last week too

you had two you had two people you were disqualified of my opinion whatever so that means I won now this week

we're going to have a lot of fun with our creeps. We had to come up with a good theme. And we decided we were going to go with the creepiest California girl. Because why not? We've been traveling all over the world. We couldn't wait to get back in the States.

Back to the creepiest girls in the world, Carl. Are you excited for this category? I am excited for this category, Vinnie. And I just want to point out real quick that the score right now is one to two. I'm in the lead, but then we also have three points for the guests. Yeah,

we're not having guests on anymore good idea yeah smart okay so the score is uh two to one i'm in the lead and let's get the creep off started minnie you once you go first who is your creepiest california female ladies and gentlemen my creep today she's fine fresh fierce and she's got it unlocked i'm just kidding my creep is an evil hell beast of a cunt and not only did this gaping atest of a human bead prey, the weakest among us. She modeled her personal style after Sophia Petrello from Golden Girls. Here's a picture

of her. Her name is Dorothea Puente. Yeah. Okay. So she's an older lady. Yeah. Yeah, she certainly is. But boy, did she live a hell of a fucking life, Carl. Her face is collapsing into itself. She lived another good 20 years after this picture. She was like she could teach you the force.

She certainly can. She certainly can. After you drink her specialty. Now, let me tell you a little bit about her. I'm not going to go all the way back. Good. Let's just say she had a... Hey, guys, he's learning. You know what? Fuck you, Carl. In 1946, she got married for the first time, and her husband left her, but she started

telling people that he died of a heart attack, so she could con them out of money. So she figured out very young that she could con people for sympathy. She also tried to forge checks, but she got to caught pretty quick spent a year in jail she got paroled she gets out after she gets out she's a bit of a whore gets fucking knocked up by a guy she barely knew gives the baby up for adoption now it's nineteen fifty two she marries a swede named axel johansen after 14 years oh dude what band does he front axel johansen that dude's awesome man he's got a vocal range it's a das frankfurter Like you've never seen.

Alex Johansson. Was he in Scorpions? I think he was the Scorpions. Yes, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he beat the shit of her. But she got arrested during that time in 1960. She was running a fucking brothel.

Okay. So she was like a madam. Yep, yep. She got 90 days in jail. So far, nothing creepy going on here. Forging checks. Forging checks running a brothel. This is all California normal so far.

Well, then she got out of jail and she got arrested for vagrancy 90 days. later why do they still arrest people for bankruptcy in california i think that's pretty much fucking legal now right yeah pretty much you're allowed to have like pounds of weed too you could be homeless with tons of weed in california and it's fine you have to wear a mask of homeless too it's great there's no laws that apply to you anymore so she decides after she gets in a little bit more trouble that she's going to uh start working as a nurse's aide caring for elderly and disabled people okay and uh what happened with the brothel is that seems like a good Well, she got in trouble. She went to jail for it. Oh, she went to jail for that.

Yeah, she went to jail for that. Then she got out of jail. And then she got arrested for vagrancy. Then she was a homeless person. Okay. So she gets this job and she did pretty good at it. She ran a brothel. She's a smart cooking. Yeah, sure. So she starts running a boarding house. Although I would say that sex sells itself, you know, to be that good at marketing to run a brothel. But go ahead. True. So she starts running a boarding house, right? And the boarding house apparently is a huge success. All the junkies love her boarding house. Nice. They're like, oh, that Dorothea. She's just the best. She's baking cookies.

What year are we talking about? This is like the 70s. In fact, her homeless shelter was visited by three California governors, including Ron Reagan. Oh, no kidding. Ron Reagan went over to this bitch's house. I got to say the 70s was a peak era in America because it was the peak of cocaine and there was no AIDS yet. So you could have a lot of fun in California. Yeah, Reagan came over there and ran a fucking.

train on her. Nice. So here's the interesting thing. She got divorced during this time. Then she got remarried to a guy who was 20 years younger than her. Okay. This guy leaves her very quickly. And things start to go downhill for her. And she's got to figure out, you know, her husband's gone. She's a little bored. How could she make some money? And, you know, once a criminal, always a criminal, eh, Carl? Sure. Once her final husband was out of the picture, Puente started hanging out at local bars, meeting old. her men who received benefits, then forging their signatures and stealing

their money. She was caught in the act, but only received five years of probation. This sentence also barred her from operating the boarding house, so she started working as an in-home caregiver. Now, that's a bummer. She had something good going. She decides to fucking fuck around,

and it gets worse for her. So now she's an in-home caregiver. What's she going to do? She's making way less money. While doing this, she would drug her patients and steal their valuable. So she just started drugging the people and stealing their shit. That'll work. Like Dorothea, she's a smart cookie, like I said.

She's like, you know what? I can't run a boarding house, but what I can do is, uh... At this time, she also started renting out an apartment on the second floor of her home, which was located just down the street from the boarding house. Now she's drugging and robbing people. She's renting this room. Her first tenant, Ruth Monroe, died of an overdose of painkillers. Puente convinced the police that she had been depressed,

so they ruled it a suicide. She probably felt pretty good though, right before she died. Yeah, she probably did. But at this point, she wasn't able to quite do this the way she wanted to, because what she wanted to do was find a way to make this person die, but also get their social security checks and all of her money coming in. Okay. So that was her plan.

It didn't work out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. So unfortunately... Shortly after that, Puente was arrested for her scam of drugging patients, and stealing from them. She was sentenced to five years in prison. She gets busted for everything she does.

She sucks as a criminal. Well, she's on probation for five years. And now she's busted for... This is like her six prison stunt. Right. Now, here's what they said about her in prison. Here's what a psychologist thought of her. Puente was evaluated by psychologists before being released from prison in 1985 and was

diagnosed as schizophrenic. The psychologist wrote, quote, this woman is a disturbed woman who does not appear to have remorse or regret for what she does. While she was in prison, she meets a gentleman by the name of Everson. She would be released after three years, but while inside she had met a man named Everson Gilmuth. Gilmuth was a retiree who would write letters to women in prison. She developed a relationship with the man because she wanted someone she could scam as soon as she got out of prison. And what bigger sucker is it than the guy who's fucking writing for love into prison?

prison. Jesus. That's not even an app. Yeah, right. That takes a lot of work. Yes, that's a really stupid thing to do. So she's like, okay, this guy might be there for me. And Emerson?

She got her wish when she was released from prison, and Gilmuth was waiting to pick her up in his red Ford pickup. Things went very well. They were almost inseparable, as far as everyone could tell. She was living at his house, hanging out. What year is this now, are we talking about? We're talking about 85. Okay. Okay. So she hires a guy to come and do some work on the house. After her release, Puente hired a local handyman, Ismail Flores, to do some work around her house.

She had him install some wood paneling at her house, and she was also able to sell him a red Ford pickup that she had recently acquired. Huh. After that, she asked Flores to build her a wooden chest to use for storage. Yeah. What kind of stuff is she going to store in a wooden chest, do you think? She wanted it to be six feet long. Three feet wide and two feet deep. Flores agreed and had it finished by the next day.

Puente used the box to dispose of Gilmuth's body, though she continued to collect his pension. She did it. She did it. She figured it out. She had to move into their house. Yes, right. She didn't marry her, but she had to move into their house. Now, whatever happened to Gilmethers said.

On January 1st, 1986, a fisherman spotted the box partially submerged in the water and notified the police. when they opened the box they found the decaying remains of an elderly man in nothing but underwear and they couldn't identify the body they had no idea who this was she was free and clear but here's my thought on this

bury the fucking coughing you idiot I guess it worked out though right I guess but I mean what is this fucking body Moses you're gonna fucking put it on the water and send it out to fucking float away would float shit crazy old bitch yeah would fucking

floats. She keeps getting his checks, but she moves back to her old house and guess what she decides to do? Rends out her room again. But this time, she talked to some old friends of hers who are the laziest people on the planet. Social workers. And social workers started setting her clients because they remember her from the good old days when she ran the fucking halfway out. Sure. A social worker eventually reported one of her case subjects missing to the police. The disabled man named Alberto Montoya was referred to Puente to board at her house. The police, led by homicide detective John Cabrera, searched her house but didn't find anything incriminating. The grandmotherly woman maintained that her tenant had taken a trip to

Utah, and when the investigator asked if they could dig up some freshly disturbed soil in her yard, she even let them borrow a shovel. She let them use the shovel. While the police were digging, they uncovered remains buried on the property. When they showed Puente what they found, she seemed genuinely surprised, which investigators now know is due to her lifetime of being a con artist. Oh my! What? Could you believe it?

I mean, it's not a bad strategy to just act like you're totally oblivious. Like, I'll help you with anything you want. I love these people. So the body that they found was too old to be Montoya's because he had been seen, and this body had been there for a while. Okay. So they took her down to the police station. They're like, well, she's just a sweet old lady.

But they're like, we're still going to go dig up this property tomorrow. They let her go home. Sure. The next morning, the cops show up. The next morning, more authorities arrived to continue searching her property. Before they started, Puente asked Detective Cabrera if she was under arrest. When they said no, she asked if she could go down the street for some coffee. Authorities agreed and she left the property.

Oh boy. What they didn't know at the time was that she had about $2,500 stuffed into her oversized purse. Feats don't fail them now. So, ready for this? Yeah. It was only 21 minutes later that they uncovered a second set of remains. Police officers raced down the street to arrest Puente, but she was gone. She's gone.

Yes, she's gone. In the most least surprising that line, she's gone. Yep, I saw that one coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She was like, okay, time to get out of here. And where did she go? Puente fled to Los Angeles, where she kept a low profile at a downtown hotel that she checked into under the name Dorothea Johansson.

Falling back onto her old tricks, she headed to a bar and befriended an elderly pensioner. Unfortunately for her, the man recognized her from a television report, and he notified the police. She was quickly arrested. Aw. That would have worked, too. So, Doris, if she didn't change her first name, name? Nope. I changed my name to Carl Cheeseburger. I mean, look at this bitch. She's a Dorothea. Look at her. She has a Dorothea. I know. So guess how many bodies they pulled off the property? How many bodies did they find?

Nine. Wow. She was busy. So apparently what she was doing. Is she the one digging up these holes, though? No. She was hiring vagrants. And the more drug addicts they were sending her, she was like, could you do me a favor, dig a hole over here? She had parts of the property filled in with concrete. They had to dig up, like, a bunch of slabs of concrete that were plant that were out there that were relatively fresh. Yeah. And they have the whole video of this woman being questioned. And the whole time she's like, who me, dear heart? I would never do anything like this. Right.

So she maintained her innocence, but she went to trial, and she was sentenced to life without the possibility of parole. And she died in prison. Yeah, she was pretty much almost there anyway. He died in 2011. Okay. So she had a good run. Okay. And that house of hers is like now a touristy landmark.

And these people who own it now are fucking on the travel channel all the time. Serial killer houses. Really? Yeah. Look at this bitch's house. So they own it, but they don't live there. No, they live there. They live in this house.

They live in this house. Why? Because they're crazy. Okay. So what she was doing was she was drugging these people and suffocating them. Okay. And that she was basically somehow getting these bodies. out there buried

the holes were dug first by these guys and eventually those guys were digging the holes ended up in the other fucking holes right that's how that works kind of like the beginning of dark night you know yeah a little bit the guys is like oh yeah the joker told me

the same thing poop hey um so I'm confused did she make money on this what was the deal what was the motivation here to just make money baby was she getting checks from the government yes these people's mail was showing up to the house. So she was just forging their names and

doing all that stuff. Cache in the check. Yep. So could that be an exit strategy for us? Because the Patreon has not really taken off the way that I had hoped it would. It's actually doing pretty good this week. We can talk after. It's doing pretty good this week. We have lots of it to, I mean, patrons. We just did a Hall of Fame episode, people. We did. And by the way, can I say tomorrow, it'll probably be released by like Wednesday morning, but there's going to be a new episode coming out. It's a new bonus episode. Vidia and Kaya I'm going to be watching to catch a predator with Chris Hansen.

Very excited for that. I'm going to stop by for a little bit. That'll be fun. Yes, that'll be a lot of fun. People can watch it on Kaya's Twitch stream, right? Yeah, you're going to be able to watch it on Kai's Twitch stream, and if I could figure out, because he's sending me the signal, if I could figure out how to broadcast it, I'll throw it up on the Patreon.

So you can tune in for that, too, and watch it with us. All right, Carl, go ahead. Who's your creep? No one's creepier than this crazy old bitch. All right, if you say so, but I think I got you beep. So remind me again. Remind me again with a... Dude, I'm so out of it.

I don't even know who that is. Katie Perry. That's Katie Perry. Okay. You could have told me Taylor Swift. You could have told... I don't know. What?

You don't know California Girls by Katie Perry? Anyway... Oh, that's right. You grew up in Spencer Poor. Remind me. I grew up in San Diego. All right. Whatever.

You're the best. Remind me, please. What's the category that we're doing this week specifically? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. all the girls were undeniable fine fresh beers we got it unlocked all right bruce jenner i win uh you're ready for scum for a no i'm just kidding my creep this week my creep this week is someone who was really big in the news a few years ago after

Trump was elected because she had a little bit of a problem. Earlier this week, as you doubtless saw, Kathy Griffin released a video of herself posing with a bloody mannequin head made up to look like President Trump. Well, as comedy is far as nobody thought it was funny. As performance art, it was lame, least creative stunt of the week by far. As a political statement, it didn't even make any sense, but it did have the effect of briefly making Griffin famous again. And of course, that was likely the whole point.

Sorry to bring Tucker Carlson out to the show. But anyway, I couldn't, I thought that was Hannity. I swear to God. Oh, no, that was Tucker. So this is Kathy Griffin, as you may recall, she did this photo op thing where she's holding Trump's bloodied head. Yeah. And it was like this political state.

Who knows what kind of nonsense it was. It was dead with the patriarchy. Yeah, right. And after that happened, of course, that's kind of like a death threat to the president. And Secret Service takes that pretty seriously. and so she was kind of worried that she'd be put away for doing that. And because of that, she decided to do an apology video with no makeup on. And this is the video I sent you, Viti, if you want to pull this up.

This is, I don't know how you get creepier than this. This is a ghoul. This woman is not... Hold on. Here comes, kids. Here comes the video. Yeah. Hey, everybody.

It's me, Kathy Griffin. I sincerely apologize. I am just now seeing the real. reaction of these images. I'm a comic. I cross the line. I move the line. Then I cross it. I went way too far. The image is too disturbing. I understand how it offends people. It wasn't funny. I get it. I've made a lot of mistakes in my career. I will continue. I asked your forgiveness. This is a mistake. Taking down the image. I'm going to ask the photographer to take down the image. And I beg for your forgiveness. I went too far. I made a mistake and I was wrong.

I didn't send you HD quality. You're welcome. Okay. So that was at purpose. My question was, are you sure that wasn't carrot top? I know. By the way, that's a woman, you would swear 70 or 80 years old. She's in her 50s at the time of that video was shot. Fucking, her hairs is red as little orphan annies, Jesus. Jesus. So I don't know if you know who Rennie Martin is from Big Brother season 10.

But this is Rennie talking about Kathy Griffin. She's got, I don't even know what the woman is. I don't know if she's a woman. I don't know if she's a man. I don't know if she's a transvestite. I don't know if she's a drag queen. I don't know either. I'm with you on that one, Rennie.

I'm a little confused about... Did you really pick Kathy Griffin? Yeah, this is Kathy Griffin. So after that apology video came out, you might remember that then she was doing the rounds and standing by the apology... Image that I participated in, that apology absolutely stands.

I feel horrible. I have performed in war zones. The idea that this, you know, made people think of this tragedy that have been touched by this tragedy is horrifying and it's horrible. All right. So she realizes that this was not a good move.

It triggered a lot of people, you know, taking the head of the president off of his body. Not a fun image. But she quickly turns this around and decides that she's the victim here. I just wanted to say, you know, if you don't stand up, you get run over, and what's happening to me has never happened ever in the history of this great country, which is that a sitting president of the United States and his grown children and the first lady are personally, I feel personally, trying to ruin my life forever. No president has ever tried to ruin someone's life forever. Well, there was Truman and Linda Johnson, who pretty much had. Kennedy fucking shot in the head.

So there's him. Yeah, but you know, she's the first one this has ever happened to. She can't believe how he's being persecuted now. And she's like, and I think they're coming after me, Lewinsky doing by the way. I'm coming after me personally. It's like, yeah, you're the one who threatened the life of the president. You held, I mean, how do you not understand this? You could feel however you want to about the man.

He's a celebrity. Should feel like he's above this. But she held up a picture of his severed head. Yes. That's a little. Pretty graphic and gory. It wasn't, like, the way we would have done it. Yeah, it would have been silly if we had done it.

I would have had, like, some, like, little action figures of the background floating around. It would have had fun. So, I mean, she threatened the sitting president, but now she's getting death threats. Oh, no. The death threats that I'm getting are constant and they are detailed and they are serious and they are specific. So I was just thinking about this. If she's getting death threats, if she's getting death threats that are detailed and specific. Shouldn't that work its way

into her stand-up act? Be way funnier than anything she's ever written. Didn't she do that whole? Wasn't that the bit she had on Seinfeld when she was like the comedian? And Jerry the Devil Seinfeld read this note to me and da-da-da-da-da-da-da. What's that what she did? It might be right. So this is, where this is

all heading to is is, Kathy's life has ruined, her career is over. I don't think I will have a career after this. I think he, I think he, I think he I'm going to be honest He broke me

He broke me And then I was like No this isn't right It's just not right There's a bunch of old white guys Trying to silence me And I'm just here to say That's wrong

So now it's like old white guys Are the problem This is the woman Who threatened the president's life With a viral image And now she's going And these old white men They just want to ruin me

You need to stop with the threat in the president's life. She took a tasteless picture. All right. I mean, you can... Everybody here is way too sensitive. She's way too sensitive. They're way too sensitive. The fact that they're sending death threats over something stupid a comedian did, everybody's too sensitive here.

Too sensitive? I mean, are there people who want Trump dead? I was just talking about one yesterday, one stuttering John Melendez. There's millions of them, Vinny. So when you have something like this, go and you. around the internet, it's something to be sensitive about, I would imagine. I would imagine, but if you had millions of people wanted to kill you, and someone was like, yeah, we should kill this guy.

You'd be like, I don't want that person saying that. Yeah, would you please stop? I'm going to ask you nicely to stop. So, you heard it here. She does the apology without the makeup, which was a mistake. And then she goes on and she's apologizing, but then she's turning herself into the victim. Oh, she sucks. She absolutely sucks.

Well, a fast forward a year later, she's on the view. it was it i can't believe it's been a year this i know it's a year this month that that picture was released right and um we already described it's been yeah yeah by the way i take the apology back yeah what she didn't hear was she said fuck him and they had a belief that she's on the view i take the apology back fuck him kathy griffin has decided that she's no longer sorry about that And it's not because she was sorry before. She was just worried she was going to lose her career. And now this is happening.

Look, I'm not holding back on this family. This president is different. And I have been through the mill. And so now I'm back on the road. I sold out Carnegie Hall in less than 24 hours. So really, it's just, it's all about Kathy. As long as her career's going, she's got fans. She's like, oh my gosh, people hate me.

I apologize. Oh, some people like me? I don't apologize that. Woo! Yeah, let's go. Kathy, Kathy, Kathy, Kathy. Kathy. I should have grabbed that.

Kathy, Kathy. So let's talk about the creepiest part about this woman. Her face. Second creepiest part about this woman. Vagina. Her stand-up. Oh, I can't even imagine. Oh, Vinnie.

This is how she comes out of the gate with her latest stand-up special. And it's all the shit you'd expect from Kathy Griffin. Let me just say, I'm going to be so politically incorrect. You might get sued just for being in the audience. I'm pissing off everybody I'm naming names I'm telling tales out of school there are going to be a lot of people

that aren't going to be talking to any of us tomorrow this is the only thing she does she just gossips about celebrities her TV show was that's what Chelsea Handler did and that's over with well Chelsea Handler at least can write a joke Kathy Griffin I've never seen any evidence

that this woman can write anything that's funny she just says things And all the cut shots in this theater are to men going, whoa, like, who the fuck are these people? I've never met these people in my life. That skeleton lady just rocked my brain. Yeah. Wow. Is anyone safe from Kathy Griffin?

I guess not. And also. She opened up and she was like, listen, I am not nice. I am not time. And I am wonderful. Also, getting back to our friend, Rennie Martin, she talks about Kathy Griffin. when she was doing the New Year's CNN stuff. Do you remember that?

Oh, God. Yeah. She was on New Year's Eve. Do you remember what Jenny McCarthy gave like some soldier herpes? I do. Yes. That guy's still in the hospital by the way. But how I mean, this woman, I don't know, like she gets on my nerves like doing that New Year's Eve. I wasn't home to watch it, but I heard about it.

And then I saw the video with her like getting on her knees trying to try to give Anderson Cooper and it looks like she wants to give him a blow job when the family's sitting around the TV by the ball drops

are you out of your mind? I think she lost that gig so Anderson Cooper was like dude, relax listen buddy perfect today is this episode hey dude relax

Dude, relax. Come on. I'm not as drunk as you. This is the last clip I want to play. This is an example of an applause break of Kathy's stand-up. Now, Vinny, this is the hope of every comedian. You get this applause break. You can kind of riff a little bit while people are still laughing and applauding. All right. You ready for this one? No.

I mean, you might be able to learn a thing or two about crafting a joke when you hear this one. I saw Tommy Lee at an award show two weeks ago. I got crabs from looking at him. I'm not kidding. I looked at him and I was like, fuck, Tommy, get out of you. Get out of here. Keep it moving, Tommy.

So you see, Tommy Lee from Motley Crew has famously subbed with a lot of women. I think you mean Axel Johansson. Well, there's also Axel Johansson. That guy is pretty cool, too. Tommy Lee probably has an STD or two. and so what Kathy says is that this is the funny part she goes I saw it two weeks ago and got crabs just from looking at it

because you can't get crabs from somebody if you just look at them hey you notice how that's almost exactly the same joke that she did at the opener that you played me where she's like you could just get go to jail just for being in the audience yeah right yeah well it's such a crazy exaggeration it's hilarious it's basically the same joke it's basically the same joke yeah vote for Carl and Kathy Griffin on the creepoff.com if you are a true American or if you're not from

American and just hate Kathy Griffin anyway. Why you being a dickhead fool? Stop being a dickhead. All right. Now, Carl, I have a surprise for you. Oh, good. We have a dear Carl. Beautiful.

Are you excited? I am excited. I love giving out advice because I've lived my life perfectly. Well, this came in from a guy by the name of, oh, where did he go? Trozier. Okay, I don't know who that is, but...

Yeah, don't have any idea. This is he said, need some gambling advice. Who should I bet on in this fight? And he said an audio clip. Okay. Ted the crew during the break saying, are you really going to fight 10 midgets? And is this going to be real or staged?

And the answer is, no, that's in the works. The big organization, big national group, they want me to do something like this for a while. and I said, what about midgets? And no, I mean, with boxing gloves, I think 10 of them will probably beat my ass pretty bad. And that's kind of the fun of the thing. Thanks, Kroche, for sending that to me.

So who would you put your money on? The 10 midgets or Alex Jones? I got to think, Alex Jones is so drunk. Yeah. He's just so drunk all the time. Does that make it more violent or does it make him a happier drunk? he's mostly a happy drug but what do you think happens when the adrenaline gets flowing like these little little fellas start throwing punches at him this is what i'm picturing and he's had some wine

two guys stack up behind him and then the other guys push him over so that he trips over the other guys and then he's done right as soon as he lands on the ground he's done put my money on the midgets here's what i think they do i think three of them get on each other's shoulders and they put out a trench coat Yeah, they look like a boxing glove. So they come out like they're going to fight him like an adult. And he's all confused. And then the other ones come at him from the side like raptors. That's a good strategy too.

Yeah, my money's on the little people. Yeah, my money's on the little people. Alex Jones might have a heart attack in the ring for Christ's sake. They might have to even touch him to win this fight. Right. Great question, though. Great question. Okay, so I got some voice.

By the way, I want to point something out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If that's current content on Alex Jones, I need to be tuning in because that's fucking hilarious. Where do you even find Alex Jones now? It's everywhere. I just can't go to YouTube or Facebook, obviously. You go to infowars.com, Vinnie, or prisonplanet.com. The Creepoff voicemail segment is brought you by the city of Syracuse.

Syracuse, all the happiness of Cuba with none of the medical care. That's a good one. That's a good one. All right, Carl. Topical, I like it. Another voicemail from Carl, folks. Hey, Ben, this is Carl. And just like my child, Joe Simpson says,

I've written a book. The Most Innocent Man in America have one man from Rochecks that got Bill Cosby acquitted of all crimes. Forward by Stuttered John Melendez and narrated by Vic and Audible. Get it now.

I don't want to hear that. I'm still working on it. You can't get it now. But you can pre-order. I got a voicemail that came in on the WATP line. Hey, sorry to call again. Cut this part out.

I don't edit the voicemails asshole. Just do it. This is for the creep off. I feel like. Vinny had something to do with Bill Cosby getting out. Me too. I had this theory that somebody in Pennsylvania heard, like, the creep off a couple weeks ago. And.

Yep. Keep going. Vinny's argument swayed them in the wrong direction. Correct. And that's why Cosby is out right. Wouldn't it be Carl's argument? A theory. No, it was Vinny's.

No, it would be you. You're the one going. That was a perfect. That was a perfect theory. I can't find any flaws in that logic. I think that that is correct. Vinny, you're a bad person. You're freeing serial rapists, and it's a problem.

This show is a problem if you're going to keep doing that. If you keep that fucking horse shit up, I'm going to shut some shit down around here. Someone's going to dig up Dorothea. They're going to commuter sentence next week. All right. Here's another one. Wrestling God. To phase goblin fucking wrestling.

face goblin fucker god fucking damn it you know when you get like two seconds of a song from a podcast voice voicemail segment back in your head and you can't get it fucking i do i know man calling carl a goblin fucker probably i don't know probably what did it but yeah hope you guys are busy fucking stuff all right thank you that was good i got one that's uh has some some production going on. Oh, I like it. Yeah. What's up, Vinny? It's your boy, James Obsolete, here in the studio with Hot Cuckaca, Carla. I'm not like some super crazy, awesome dude.

Oh, Carl, you are most certainly not. He will not shut the fuck up about how proud he is about that bonus episode. And if the goal was to make your audience want to kill themselves and stop eating forever, yeah, yeah, you should be proud. I was drinking a smoothie when, it came around to that point of a day for goo and god damn i haven't eaten since i'm gonna try eating some pizza later god damn that was the grossest episode of anything i've ever heard in my entire life

it's pretty bad holy fucking shit i oh it was awesome in all senses of the word uh anything else you want to say carl about to end the call listen guys i'm not some super awesome dude yeah sure whatever fuck yourself carl being on true believers f t w james obsolete out call me back Did I just get an FTW in there? James Obsolete. You just did. We're going to meet him in Chicago too. All right.

When we go there. So he's talking, of course, about our Hall of Fame episode that just dropped on our Patreon. And what was the name of this guy? Pampertchew. Pamperchew entered into the creep off Hall of Fame. It was the first time we've done an episode and I said it during the show where I regretted it. Like it was such a nice day outside and I'm watching videos. of a grown man dressed like a bunny playing with dirty diapers yeah that's all we need to say

all right last one i think we need to freshen up these consequences a bit fellow don't do we um one that came in mind was a voicemail only episode um i guess this could kind of just hurt car punishing but maybe Vinny could do it on the Patreon but never all voicemails what am i dick Clark fuck that we're punishing the audience I'm confused why we would do that I would be wildly annoyed listening to voicemails for like an hour uh I got one more yeah right it's a short one there are three things I know Jesus was brown 9-11 was a setup and Vinnie Paulino is a fat liberal fuck I'm not a liberal

idiot well he said Jesus was proud and that it was a setup yeah that's true I think that's the point Anywho ready for the scum parade I am ready for a scum parade

Let's get the Because Vinny's a creep And Carl's a Widow I'm not kidding around They're both a generous psychopaths of my society

and they're going to take you on a scum parade Let's start off today in Tulsa, Oklahoma. A Tulsa man was arrested last Wednesday after a 12-year-old girl showed up at the hospital ready to deliver his baby. Oh, oops.

Oopsie, Daisy. According to his arrest, Juan Miranda Jara confessed that he confessed after he was read as Miranda Wright said he had that he and the girl started a relationship that turned sexual last fall. The report states he told officials they started having sex in October 2020. I mean, height of the pandemic.

They never say what age Juan is. Is he too old to have a girlfriend who's 12? Yes. Yes, okay. Because they just never say he has a beard. I know, I'm just curious, though, because they never did say his age. I wasn't sure if that was okay or not. Police recalled when Miranda Jarre and the girls showed up at the hospital in mid-late.

labor and he said he and the girl were still in a relationship. I have, you say, I found her by the side of the road. I have all kinds of advice for this guy. Yeah, please. First off, you don't need to be there while your girlfriend's giving birth. Where you should be is the next state over. The conversation should have been, are you coming to the hospital?

No, I'm going to Arizona. That's where I'm going to be. That's really fucking stupid. Also, Adam Carolla always preaches, come on the tits. You know, these third world countries and stuff. Like, just come on the tits. The problem is that strategy might not work with a 12-year-old. So I could see where he'd get confused.

Carl? Yeah, was that right? Here's my advice to anyone who is entertaining the idea of having a sexual relationship with someone who is under the legal age. No, that's not. That's wrong. It's actually... You Rick-rolled yourself. Whoops.

That's a little. It's hilarious. Stop it. Yeah. Get some help. That's the drop. That's the drop you're looking for. So it's interesting.

You know, this guy has millions of sperm, but it only takes one. The cops are like, you are the father. He's like, no. This guy, he is going to jail. We don't know how long he's going to get, but he knocked up a 12-year-old. Who know you can even do that? Yeah, yeah, that's not easy. Well, let's head over to Texas, shall we?

Let's do it. Another state over. a Hook's Texas man is facing charges of child sexual abuse, possession of child pornography, and beastiality in Bowie County. Court records show that Cody Austin Wright is currently being held in jail on bonds holding more than $1.4 million. Wright is charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child involving a 14-year-old girl who, Wright, allegedly molested at his home. According to probable cause documents, the girl made an outcry of abuse, and an investigation began. reported that Wright had windows installed in his home's master bathroom

with two-way tint, which allowed him to watch and record her well in the shower. Investigator searched Wright's home and allegedly found recording equipment as the victim described. Investigators seized in search right cell phone. And uh, uh-oh, here we go

again with the phone. It allegedly contained portographic images of the 14-year-old girl as well as video of Wright engage a beastiality with a female medium size dog. This guy wants to put his dick in everything. I wouldn't even sit on the couch in this guy's place. Wright's phone allegedly showed that the video with the dog was recorded June 10th.

The same day, Wright, allegedly conducted Google searches for the file need things. Dog sedative. Dog sedative Benadryl. Every time, and we see this in stories propped up a lot lately, when they talk about the Google searches of the alleged criminal. Yeah. That scares the shit out of me, because if you checked my. Google searches. There's some hate of shit going on. Oh, God. I would be attached

to so many crimes. If people are like, well, I mean, this hamburger guy was... The top three searches are club foot anal. Carl's face. All right. So detectives determined that child protective services received a report less than 10 years ago that Wright was watching pornography with the young

girl. She and her younger sister were interviewed and alleged reported sexual abuse by Wright. Bringing the number of alleged child victims to three. Right? currently charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child, two counts of indecency with a child possession of child pornography and bestiality, one point four million dollars bond as we said. Wait, he was watching porn with young children, young girls. Yeah. What was he like? You want to watch Cherry Poppins? Have you seen Sex Toy Story yet?

Woody's a dildo and Buzz is a vibrator. That's not real. It probably is real. What am I talking about? Maybe it was something newer like, wreck her Ralph. Okay, you have these written down, don't you? I do. The loin king? The loyne king? Fallis and Wonderland. Okay.

Okay. My favorite one, snow white and the seven big black cocks. That's a fun movie to watch with the girls. Mirror, mirror on the wall. All right. How it's hung there at all. All right. So let's head over to Florida, shall we?

I've spent some time in Daytona Beach. Me too. It's a fucked up place. It is. It's more like the deep south that it is like southern Florida. Right. It's not southern Florida. It's like mid. No, right. Florida. So it's like halfway down there. But you have to really give up to get all the way down to the bottom of that fucking dick of a state.

The 32 year old Daytona Beach man has been charged with multiple crimes after police say he was caught swinging a stolen alligator around by its tail in order to, quote, teach it a lesson. Okay. William Hodge, a fisherman, was seen at roughly 3.21 a.m. Thursday, attempting to throw a live gator onto a building roof. According to a police affidavit, say they observed William Hodge, take the alligator by its tail, hit it against the building awning, slam the alligator onto the ground, and stomp on it twice. Then he threw the alligator over his shoulder, then threw it down to the ground as if he was trying to injure the gator. Who were you rooting for here? I'm wildly confused. Yeah, like, you would think that a man assaulted an alligator is like a hero? Yeah, right.

Like, their crocodile hired and made a whole fucking career out of this. Well, apparently this particular alligator... I'm going to stick my finger in its butt, mate. They really hate this. If you ever want to really laugh hard, it's all if they do yourself a favor and look up Norm McDonald on the Daily Show

right after the crocodile hunter died. It's one of the greatest things I've ever seen. Either way, the reason why they were upset about this particular alligator is because it belonged to the miniature golf course that's across the street that had it in an enclosure Wait, wait, wait, why does a mini golf course have an alligator? It's Florida, why wouldn't it? Can those people be locked up?

Can the people who run this golf course be locked up, please? No, that's tourists. They want, oh, you want to see a gator? Come out over here and play golf. That's ridiculous. Absolutely. It's Florida, son. That would be a hell of a sand trap, though, wasn't it? You're in the gator sand.

Fuck! You got to be real careful. The place is called Congo River Golf. He jumped the fence to the alligator enclosure and stole the alligator yeah uh apparently teach it a lesson apparently apparently you know he had too many strokes on the fifth and he was a little pissed yeah right so the animal is going to be okay i guess is it's okay as an alligator could be by the way i'm not looking at the chat is is casey chixplaining what's going on here in florida to us i'm just assuming that she's like oh yeah

everyone's got alligator oh so fucking luly last comment i know it it's north central florida I'd be surprised if a mini golf course didn't have an alligator, she says. Jesus Christ. Yeah. You put her on your podcast, and now she feels like she has to have a voice at all times. Caseying it up over there. Jeez. I did listen to Creeps and Roses, episode one, by the way.

And who's the maniac that was on that show? That's Mike Barry. Oh, no. I think his name was Vinny? Oh, that's me. Yeah, Mike Barry is fucking crazy person. Yeah, I know. He's one of my favorite people, Lord.

I'm trying to get him to come back on there. But some restaurant hired him to work in the kitchen. So I figure it'll be a couple weeks before he gets fired and he'll be back. Keep him in the kitchen. Do not let him leave the kitchen. He's a charming motherfucker. But yeah, keep him in the kitchen. Okay.

Absolutely. Mike is a treasure. So anyway, the crocodile is fine or the alligator or whatever it is. So they took him to prison, right? The alligator? No, into jail. They put him in a holding cell at the police department. He intentionally flooded the jail cell with toilet water by filling the bowl with watered up toilet paper and repeatedly flushing.

When that's all. Yeah. That's a dick move. Yeah. I mean, he's the one who's got to stand in it. He's trying to attract more alligators. Ooh, yeah. Make a little swamp over here so I can beat up some more alligators.

Oh, motherfuckers. Yeah, it's been a long time without beating up an alligator. Here's a really fucking wild story. And I got said this by two people. newest whaler sent it to me in Discord and so did Igor after six and a half hours of deliberations at Colorado jury

on Friday found a guy named Mark Redwine guilty of second degree murder now I'd like to comment on that name you know how back in the day Red wine yeah yeah people got named like by their profession right sure like there's the Smiths and there's you know the tailors yeah

the farmers you know whatever this guy just apparently comes from a bunch of drunks yeah the fucking red wine Ah, here come the red wines again. Well, it's... Don't offer them a Rieslade. I mean, you could, like, own a vineyard. You don't have to be just, like, a ridiculous drunk.

I think he's a ridiculous drunk. Either way, he was found guilty of second-degree murder for killing his 13-year-old son, Dylan, in a fit of rage. Okay. After the boy found photos of red wine wearing a red bra and eating feces from a diaper. Say that again? So... The bra thing is not even a factor once you two. talk about eating feces out of the diaper. Mr. Redwine is divorced. Yeah. And he has shared custody with

his deceased, had shared custody with his deceased son. And apparently one weekend, his son was going through things he shouldn't have been going through and found a picture of Mark Redwine wearing a red bra on eating feces from a diaper. And his kid, the following weekend was like, no, mom, I don't think I want to go back to dads. Right. And he, dad was like, no, you're fucking coming over here. And then he went over there. And he was like, dad, I don't want to fucking be here. Can I go sleep at my friends? And he's like, no, you will not.

And he made plans to meet the friends the next day. He never showed up. Mark Redwine reported Dylan missing, but investigators didn't buy it. Dylan Redwine's blood was found in multiple locations of Redwine's living room, including on the couch, the floor in front of the couch, the corner of the coffee table, and the floor beneath the rug and a love seat. Why to take so long to lock this guy up? this happened in 2012 yeah he's just sentenced why does this take so long this this kid goes well

you don't get to it but this this kid's blood is all over the house well he claimed that uh the kid cut his finger oh sure and blood everywhere and blood everywhere that's all the time that makes sense but then in june 2013 a cadaver dog located dillan's partial remains off an at tv trail what a shitty job that is being a cadaver dog ever dog they fucking love it i have three dogs they fucking love They love finding cadavers. They love finding stinky shit. Are you kidding me? Okay.

You know what the actual training of a cadaver dog is? Ah, you murder someone from a dog. It's when they find the body is that they don't start immediately Humping it and chewing on it. That's true. Yes. They want to get inside of it as soon as they find it. They want to just immediately crawl into the chest cavity and roll around.

That is true. They're disgusting. Yeah, dogs suck. I like mine. They're all right. Yeah, doctor the best. Mine are pretty good. The indictment states DNA testing show that Dylan Redwood

was a source of blood on the love seat. He went to court. They found the body. And a forensic examination found blunt force trauma to Dylan's skull, as well as a fracture above the boy's left eye. Probably a bear. Well, injury experts testified likely were inflicted by another human, not an animal. Oh, okay.

Prosecutors argued that Mark Redwine was the only person with the motive to kill Dylan. True. They allegedly decapitated his son and attempted to get rid of evidence and that could link the boys' injuries back to him. I don't know how his head came off. I didn't understand that part. I was drunk. Mr. Redwine's ex-wife, Betsy Horvath, who said that Redwine had told her that if he ever had to get rid of a body, he would leave it out in the mountains.

You got to keep your mouth shots. I don't know what you're telling people things like this. Listen, man, keep it to yourself. Keep it to yourself. She may be your wife, but she could very easily be your ex-way. Yes. red wine's son from red wine son from previous marriage you really want to say redwigs every time yeah i know man took uh the stand among other things he testified that his father had not been particularly interested in helping searchers look for dylan's body yeah that's what we call a don't you want to look for your son ah i don't think we're going to find him i think we should all just probably give up yeah and uh i don't know if you know this red wine appeared on dr phil yeah and this is something that no innocent person

does you don't go on dr phil to say you're innocent if you're actually innocent this guy was planning on certainly an only fan's after this shit like what was he going on dr phil for either way he will remain in custody until sentencing which is scheduled for october 8th well weird story that is yeah what would you do if you found that picture of your father if you if would you respect him more i'm glad you put me in that scenario you're going to say if my kid found um if i found my day was eating poopoo feces poop poopie diaper yeah my dad's a poopie diaper eater poopie diaper i don't think i never talked to him again viny that's disgusting i wouldn't i've shaken that guy's hand he's your father what's that he's your father yeah that's gross

dude that's not cool i don't think i'm definitely not staying over with him for a weekend no i find that shit out you could be like we're going to blockboss chair we're going pizza hot it ain't it ain't stay in here I think that you named two places that don't exist anymore. Oh, I'll miss them, both. I was thinking about, I fucking hate streaming shit now. Why is that? Because, like, back of the day, you go to a blockbuster, right?

Yeah. And, like, you had to leave eventually. You had to pick something. True. I could sit there at a streaming fucking thing and click there for fucking three hours and never pick something. So I let my wife pick the other night, and we watched this movie called The Sound of Metal. She picked her boyfriend. Yeah.

I let her pick and she's like, all right, Carl, you're going to go. And I pick him. We watched The Sound of Metal. Are you familiar with this movie? No. It is an artsy, fartsy moose. She fell asleep. I had to watch the whole fucking thing.

It wasn't fair. I got to pick yesterday. I wouldn't have picked that from a blockbuster, that's for sure. I watch No Sudden Move on HBO Max. How is that? Don Chedal Benicio del Toro. Yeah? Yeah.

Okay. That's the end of our show. Thanks so much for tuning in, everybody. And don't forget to go to the creepoff.com to vote for who you think brought the bigger creep. today. Well, I brought in Dorothea Puente and Carl brought in Kathy Griffin. Here we go again. Here we go again.

Another week of bullshit. You could leave us a voicemail 585371-88-80108. And don't forget to follow us on Instagram. We have a lot of fun on the Instagram. It's just filled with your fan art and silly things that you guys think. Yeah, the Instagram's great. It really is fun. And don't forget

bonus episode tomorrow with Kaya only on Patreon. So, until next week, it's nice to be important. But it's more important to be nice. Gagia! By the way, I just had the crew during the break saying, are you really going to fight 10 midgets? And is this is going to be real or staged?

And the answer is, no, that's in the works. with a big organization, big national group, they wanted me to do something like this for a while, and I said, what about midgets? And no, in the boxing gloves, I think 10 of them will probably beat my ass pretty bad. And that's kind of the fun of the thing.

How fun. Bullshit!