The Creep Off - Episode 73: Heavy Petting Zoo

Episode Date: July 26, 2021

This week Karl & Vinnie have the freedom to nominate whoever they want in this Wildcard episode: In the Scum Parade we meet an oily stable boy, an inattentive Husband and two zany Cape Town Cops 

Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want. Sensation, horror, shock. I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive, and I'm not backing down. Gooku, gooo. This town needs an animal.

A Disgusting Disgusting thing Oh, Krippos. Your favorite true crime podcast, the show about creeps, by creeps, for you creeps. My name is Vinny. The People's Champion.

And my co-host today, you all know him. He's a piece of garbage. It's hot. Cicca, Carla. What is happening, Vinnie Paulino? How you doing, my friend? I'm just glad to be here with you, bud. Oh, good.

Is this going to be an exciting day today? We got another fun week plan for the creep off. Now, listen, I don't want to blow it, but it's a real simple, simple category. week. Wild car, bitches! Yeah! It's whatever we want. Wow, shocking.

Vinnie's both fat and lazy. Go figure. How does that make me lazy? You never put a poll out? You didn't pick categories for us. You just like, fuck it. Just pick whoever you want. It doesn't matter.

Yeah, what an asshole I am to make it so much more easy for both of us. What a dick. Says the guy who brought Kathy Griffin last week. Dude, that was a dynamite argument that I had. That was a home run. I can't bleak. Can we look at the voting on this, please? Yeah.

So last night I sent my alarm for 1158. Okay. I woke up, rolled over, picked up my phone, and I took three screenshots over two minutes. All right. It looks like you had 51% of the vote, which means you won. Please. I'd like to thank everyone for going to creep off and voting for me last week and doing the right thing.

because Mike Creep was clearly, clearly worse than Kathy Griffin. All right. I want to talk about this because I saw, first off, let's talk about the Discord channel for the Creepoff. Yeah. It's in the Who Are These Podcasts? There's a channel for us. Right.

Way too much Ethan Ralph talk going on. I had to scroll through that this morning. I don't know who he is. To get through all of that. Who is Ethan Ralph? Well, he has a podcast. I've been on his show and I met him when I was down in Tampa. Oh.

Not the reason why I'm bringing this out. I hear he's very handsome. Okay. Not the reason why I'm bringing this up. The reason why I bring this up is said I saw people talking about voting shenanigans going on. Apparently I was up by seven votes at 11 p.m. last night. And then by midnight, you're up by seven votes. What's going on? I have no idea. I was just fucking asleep. I don't know. I think we might need to look into this a little bit. I think that there's some bots or some shenanigans. There's always fucking bots that are goddamn voting. It's like it's unbelievable. Listen, if somebody's finally cheating from. me. I'm going to go ahead and just tell you to stop it. I'm not into it. I want to know, is it the Russians or is it the Chinese who are fiddling with our elections? I'm guessing it's a fat person somewhere who's just tired of your shit. That's probably true. Who's just tired of listening to you. Yeah. You know what it probably was. It's probably Sanzy. It's probably that guy, Kyle.

It's going on there making sure that you win. Yeah, I don't know. But listen, fucking just stop. It's a silly goddamn game. We don't need cheaters. No cheating. All right. But I will take this fucking point. How I lost. Because I got goddamn robbed at that time. How I lost with Kathy Griffin, though, it's unbelievable to me. I can't.

I purposely try not to look during the week, but I'll try to keep a closer eye on it. I'm sorry. No worries. No worries. Congratulations. So now the score is tied two to two for this round, which means we got to break the tie this week. I love it. I'm excited for this because this guy is somebody that I've been wanting to do for a while.

Okay. I was sent this person a while ago. Maybe right when he first started doing the show and he never really fit into a category. Oh, shit. I don't like what I'm hearing right now. This can't be good. All right. Now, how to describe this guy?

My creep today is one of America's forgotten demons. Okay. Okay. This guy's a monster. Wait, did you bring Lucifer? No. Because that would be cheating. This guy's a fucking absolute devil, dude.

This is ridiculous. us what he did. The only people I could compare him to is like John Wayne Gacy and Albert Fish with a little bit of Jeffrey Dahmer, right? But if I had to be a little more specific to describe

him as a person without getting into his past history too much, imagine the sassy gay friend from a sitcom mixed with a little comic book guy from the Simpsons with a touch of Mr. Garrison. Okay.

Okay. And then add a creepy mustache. He was an out-homosexual in the 70s living in Kansas City, Midwest, probably not the easiest life. He was also an art school dropout. I keep telling you this, Vinny, being gay does not mean you're a creep. It's okay to be homosexual. I don't know why you're so homophobic on this show every single week. I know you edit it out in post and I know nobody hears it, but it's really ridiculous.

Yes, I'm so, so homophobic. People hated this guy And it wasn't because he was gay They hated it because he was a cunt of a person All right All right He was pretentious dickhead Let's just talk about his art school

Career He got caught up in drug use pretty quick He was also a low level drug dealer Not the good type Art student is using drugs Yeah but he wasn't using like Coke and weed He was using like

Animal tranquilizers Okay cool And weird shit Cool also this is why he started Torturing and killing animals Oh yeah so not good He wasn't a sculptor or a painter. He wasn't a performance artist, Carl.

So you know how cool performance artists are, right? The best. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At one point for one of his classes, he had to do an interpretive thing. So he made everyone put paper bags on their heads. And he went up into their faces as close as he could get and just screamed profanities at them. And that was his art. The show has reached a new low.

That was his art. Okay. He failed that day. I will let you know. Good, God. There is a god. Now, one of his big projects, that he did, Carl, was a maze. He actually built a maze. And people would go through it, but before you go into it, you were handed a little baby chicken.

Okay. Like a little baby chick that would give you at Easter. Sure. And you get to carry it around with you. And when you got to the end of the maze, there was a television monitor. And on the television monitor was a baby chicken. And then you saw the double barrel shotgun sneak into the frame and fire and blow this baby chick the fuck up. That's got to piss you off because you would have eaten that chicken if it had grown up to become an adult. They just rob Popeyes of $5. Seriously. But listen, Carl, people were so freaked out about it. They were holding little baby chickens with two hands. And they saw this. Yeah.

A lot of people involuntarily murdered baby chickens because of this guy's thing. Okay. And he sat there and watched it and loved it. Okay. He was making people murder baby animals. It's unique. Give them that. I mean, that's creative. That's creativity. Is it art, though, Carl?

I wouldn't think so, but who am I to judge what art is? Right. So he dropped out of school, and he spent most of the 70s and the 80s hanging out with male prostitutes, drug addicts, petty criminals, and runaways that he claimed he was mentoring. Okay. My creep today, his name is Bob Berdella. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Now, Bob had a business. He was in Kansas City, and he bought a booth at the Westport Flea Market, and he named it Bob's Bazaar Bazaar. Right?

Yeah, it's fun. And it is fun, and he sold... I want to go there. He sold oddities, like occult shit, primitive art, jewelry, weird antiques. He also bought a big house this time, and the gay hustler. district of Kansas City. He bought a house? Yes. Because he sold. He had his business and he did pretty well. He did pretty well at this place and he was there for a long, long time. Now, when he was living, while he was working there, he became acquainted with another guy named Paul Howell who operated

a booth next to his. And he also met Paul's younger son, Jerry. Now, initially, Jerry and his friends used to make fun of Bob because he was gay. They would say some terrible things to him and whatever but it turns out one day jerry needed a ride to a dance contest in kansas okay are you just making this shit up as you know no no notes written down you're just like coming up with those random shit i have four pages today just on sit back okay and listen i'm gonna tell you something i'm not gonna get born down into the details of his life yeah can we not talk about the dance contest anymore yeah yeah yeah it's it's footloose basically footloose happens actually i'm just kidding who gives a shit who gives a fuck i'm just kidding it's not food

What he did is he gave Jerry a bunch of alcohol volume and Ace Promazin in his car in his house until the kid passed out. And then he injected him with a very heavy tranquilizer, tied him up to his bed for approximately 28 hours. And through that time, he repeatedly drug, tortured, raped, and violated him with foreign objects. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this kid was waking up and being like, oh, my God, what are you doing? How old is this kid at this time? 19.

Okay. 19. Okay. Apparently, while this is going on, Jerry choked on his own vomit, or it was the medicine. It was whatever. There was no real doctor there. Sure.

It was just Bob, the art school dropout. Right, right. And he's like, oh, fuck, what do I do? So what he did was he took him down to the basement, right? And he hung his body over a large cooking pot, and he made a bunch of incisions and let the body bleed out. into this pot. Then the next day he chopped him up with a chainsaw and boning knives, put

him into a couple of garbage bags, then put him into another bigger garbage bag, and then put him out with the trash. Jesus. Yeah. So... Sounds like that would take a while. That's a project. Yeah. That's one of those things where I'm like, I didn't even want to get started. It's just going to take some fucking log. Well, the cops came to see Bob. Yeah. Because the dad

was like, he was taking him to a dance contest against us. Right. And he was like, oh yeah, I took him and I dropped him off. Never saw the kid again. Sure. What happened? Is he okay? Yeah. And that's how he played it off. And they never talked to him again. The father hated him, had his business. They were right next to each other. They were like now rivals because he thinks he had something to do with the disappearance of his kid, even though he wasn't able to prove it. Okay. Now, in April, another guy who he rented a room out to, he would like rent out rooms in this shitty house to a bunch of male prostitutes and drifters and

stuff like that. And there was this guy who was living there. and he didn't really like him he paid his rent but he said he was more of like a pain in the ass than anything he didn't really find him very attractive but he came home one day and he found the guy his name was Robert Sheldon drunk at his house Radell was just like ah man fuck this guy I really don't like him so what he did is he went and he got a needle full of stuff came up stabbed him

in the back of the neck with it drugged him knocked him out dragged him upstairs again captured him in the second floor bedroom for three days He did a lot of fun things to him. Like he was swabbing his eyes with drain cleaner. Oh, fuck. And he was sticking needles underneath his fingertips. And then tying up his wrists with the intention of like permanently fucking up his hands.

He also filled his ears with caulking to reduce his ear capacity. And three days after this was going on, you know, he was also raping him. I didn't, yeah. Yeah, he was definitely raping him. That was the wrong drama. Geez. At least he did Rickroll himself. That was so fucking funny.

I laughed too. I could have taken it out, but it made me laugh. So Bob realizes as he's got this guy tied to his bed, he's got the fucking finger shit under his fingernails. He's been raping him. He realizes, oh, shit, I have a guy coming over here to work on the roof today. What do I do? So he just bashed his brains in.

And then he dismembered his body in the third floor bathroom, did the same thing, got rid of it to the vague. So that Jude, Bordella met another guy named Mark Wallace, who he used to hire to work on his house. But Mark, during a rain, a thunderstorm was hiding in Bob's shed. He was like basically a homeless guy. He was looking for shelter. And Bob was like, well, hello there, sailor. What are you doing out here? You want to come on in the house? And then he crushed up some tranquilizers and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that he gave to the guy and knocked him out. And then he carried him to the second floor bedroom where he He endured a day of captivity and torture, including the application of alligator clips to his nipples to facilitate electrical shocks to his body.

He strapped the motherfucker to a car battery. By the way, is there any cleaning going on in between these incidents? Like, what does that room smell like? Dude, we're going to get to that. Okay. So, Mark Walls died through a combination of the drugs and the gag again. Okay. Later, you find out that Bob kept meticulous.

notes on all of this. Oh, okay. Good. He actually noted that Mark Wallace died at 7 p.m. on June 23rd. Okay. He made sure to write that down. Now, another guy that he knew named James Ferris asked to come stay at Bredello's home. Now, Ferris lived at Bredello's house with his wife. Okay. But they moved out into another place and his wife threw him out because he sold all of their furniture for drugs. What's weird to be a gay drifter and move in somewhere with your wife. That's odd. Well, this guy started turning tricks, and that's where he ran into Bob. And Bob took him home and gave him the old crushed tranquilizer peanut butter jelly sandwich.

Okay. Tied him to his bed and started torturing him for approximately 27 hours. Joe! He was shocking his nuts with a 7,700 volt electrical shocks for up to five minutes each time. He was just fucking letty to go. Nothing funny about this. This is terrible. Then he would do acupuncture stuff to his dick, and he would just stick needles.

The guy became- Acupuncture stuff to his dick. That's fine. I leave it at that. I'll fill in the blanks. No. That's good. He would do acupuncture stuff to his dick.

Can that be the name of this episode? Yeah. Yeah. So this guy dies. He put it in his entry in his text, had very delayed breathing, unable to sit up more than 10 to 15 seconds before he would start to lose consciousness and then the guy just died

so he did the same thing, got rid of him. I should mention that he's running Bob's Bazaar Bizarre throughout this whole thing. He's fucking these guys doing all the shit and then he's just going to work and he's like Yeah, he's just the happiest fucking guy in the world. Go to it from work. Now, he's,

tells the cops later that he really, really liked this guy and was trying to get him to cooperate to become a sex slave. He used the electrical shocks. He also did some other interesting things with the electrical shocks this time. He was shocking his eyelids. Jeez, Louise. And attempted

to blind him. He injected drain cleaner into his larynx to try to stop him from screaming. Oh, God. That's going to do more than just stop him from screaming. Well, here's a fun thing that he did. He also ruptured Stoops' asshole with his fist.

I'm sorry. That's not funny. And it caused an infection. Oh, that was just my board that was me laughing. That wasn't me laughing. That caused a severe fever.

It's on the board. And funny. How are you laughing? Don't fucking laugh again. Okay. I'm sorry. There's been no laughs.

What do you mean? None. Calv's on. Calviz on. So Stoops was so weak. Wardella later said that he was unable to breathe in a sitting position, and on July 1, 1986, Stoops

died. The pathologist, who examined the body later, testified that the ruptured anal wall caused the septic shock, which is actually when ended up killing him. Okay, whatever. I'm not really worried about the cause of death after all that. Dude, this is pretty

f*** up right here. Yeah, this is pretty fucked up. Yeah. Who is this show for? I want to know. Road up the people who actually listen to the show on purpose. I got a really fun one. You're going to like this. Okay. Here's where it backfired.

Okay. We got a backfire here. He needs another fix. He kidnaps a guy named Larry Wayne Pearson. Same thing. Met him while he's working at the shop, invites him over. And he decided to fucking kill this guy because the guy was joking around about how he used to rob gay guys. Okay.

So he's like, oh, I'll fucking hit you. And he drugged Pearson. Continued his torture practices. Same thing. The binding, the electric shock, the drain cleaner into the larynx. Breaking the hands with a metal bar. All the greatest hits. But this guy could stay alive for six weeks.

Oh, God. That's terrible. And finally one day Pearson fucking snapped. And Bordello was face fucking him. Okay. And Pearson just fucking bit into his dick. I wouldn't you do that? But I would have been sooner than six weeks.

And here's my thought, Bob. Maybe he got a little too cocky. here. Bob got a little too cocky here. I get it. You don't stick your dick into the mouth. Right. It's not a good move. Well, that's retarded. So, uh, Bredala that beat him and strangled him to death. Now, Carl?

Yes. This is where things get interesting. Oh, Jesus. Okay. In 1988, March 29, Bredela abducted his last victim, a 22-year-old male prosecutor named Christopher Bryson, who he had solicited for sex. once he got to the house he knocked him unconscious with a metal bar tied him up and Bryson was subject

to the same torture all that shit so Bryson this guy is like trying to create a sex slave so this guy Bryson just went with it and did everything that he told him to do sure it's his job and fucking Bob's like man

they all keep dying on me maybe I should lighten up a little yeah right yeah maybe maybe I'm the problem here Bob's starting to think Maybe less torture is the way to go. Stop electrocating their eyeballs and penises. Jesus Christ.

And doing acupuncture to their petaces. So eventually he persuaded Bradela to tie his hands in front of him. Instead of like back to the bed this way, he had him like tie his hands on it. But it gave him enough slack that he saw the Bob accidentally left a box of matches in the room. Okay. So this dude got the matches. and used it to burn through the rope. Got it.

And he got free. He got one arm free, and he was able to get out. Now, he was locked in this room. He couldn't get out, so he broke the window and jumped completely bare-ass naked from the second floor to the ground. And the only thing he was wearing was a dog collar. Oh, okay. Yeah.

And he went to the neighbor's house, and the neighbor wouldn't let him in. I wouldn't either. The neighbor was not going to help this man. And he's running down the street, bare-ass-noburn. and screaming for help, probably bleeding out of his asshole. I'm sure, yeah, yeah. And finally, a meter maid saw him. They called the cops.

Bob was at work. Well, hey, there. Shady, shady, fack, shuddy, fack, fag. Well, the cops are going through his house. They found in a second story closet they discovered a human skull as well as a human vertebrae. Wait, they did it without a search warrant? Oh, dude. They got, they fucking went into this house.

That's the problem, though, because they won't be able to use that evidence if they did it incorrectly. Anyway, I'm jumping ahead. Well, either way, eventually, when the cops do get in the house, they discover human vertebrae cut out with a bone saw. In the backyard, they discovered another human head buried in the ground, partly decomposed. When they ventured into the basement, they found large barrels stained with blood as well as personal belongings of two missing people and a stack of Polaroid photos depicting naked men being sexually assaulted and tortured. They also found the stenographer's pad meticulously detailing the abduction, torture, and rape, and murder of six young men from around. the area. And after collecting all the evidence from his house and sitting him down and questioning him, Robert Bertella was very quickly arrested in charge with the murders of those

guys. And Berdell accepted a deal where he put guilty and revealed everything about the murders in exchange for life without parole and avoiding the death penalty. He goes to jail. He has one interview that he does with the news. Carl, would you like to know whose fault this whole thing was? Oh, no, who did him wrong? Here's whose fault it was. I don't think any family of my victims or anybody else that has been killed down related to Tenth and McGee are going to be happy to find out with their loved one. It's basically written off by the police as far as investigations go, et cetera, because they died in a convenient neighborhood. The police knew what was going on, so it's no big deal.

And that accounts for your remark to me, and I don't mean at all to make light of it, that I killed the six, but they, the police, by allowing this to stay open, they killed more. Yes. It's all the cops' fault. It's been going on for over 20 years, to my knowledge. It seems to me. So he says that it's the cops' fault for not stopping him. They knew all this was going on, and the cops didn't do anything about it. He was ahead of his time, because in 2021, if you blame the cops, it was like, yeah, they are the problem, correct?

Yeah, but this was like 1989 AIDS pandemic and this guy was like fistic people. So either way, this guy was like fissing people and doing acupuncture to them unwillyly. Yeah. But he's such a fucking weird dude. And the guy who's interviewing him kind of follows up that question. Okay. You're suggesting that had the police done their job, had they followed the leads, had they really been on your case prior to April 2nd, 1988. they would have caught you

and some of the suffering could have been prevented. Maybe not caught me. Hold on, buddy. Maybe not caught me. What he goes on to say is maybe they would have like scared me off and I would have stopped doing it.

Whatever. Dude, this guy sucks. Doesn't make any sense. And here's where we, here's the fun part. Okay, can we get to the fucking fun part already? Holy shit, I gotta tell you, Vinny. This episode could be hard to listen to.

He died of a heart attack four years into his sentence. Oh, okay. Four years in prison is all he got for all of us. Okay. That's my creep bumper. How old was he when he died? 43. Okay. Yeah, young man. Yeah. I think, I think 43 is a very young age, personally.

Yep. All right, Biddy. That's my creep. That's your creep this week? All right. Well, that's a pretty good one. You'll probably get some votes for it. But I have the creep for this week. I swear to to Christ, if you say Fauci again. It is not Fauci. This person is an attorney, long career at The New Yorker,

CNN legal analyst. I'm talking about hashtag me-tubin. In October, you were on a Zoom call with your colleagues from the New Yorker magazine. Everyone took a break for several minutes, during which time you were caught masturbating on camera. you were subsequently fired from that job after 27 years of working there

and you since then have been on leave from CNN If you don't know the story If you don't know this story Jeffrey Tuben was on a Zoom call with his co-workers Who is the show for? I was through Who the fuck is the show for now?

He pulled his crank out during this this conference call they were doing this video conferencing call and started jerking his dick off and the women on the call saw his penis because he actually moved the camera towards his penis.

Now he had muted it first so he couldn't hear it. He thought mute meant you also can't see it, I guess. And he just was what he saw, he went. God damn. Yeah, so he was then fired by the New Yorker after that. And then he went to CNN last month because he was

a typical contributor to CNN, but they had him off the air for many months. And then they brought him back so that he could apologize and explain his side of things. But why, though? What's his side of things? Oh, I know. I wanted to play with my dick right after work. Oh, yeah. No, his excuses are ridiculous.

Also, can we all just go back to conference calls without the video part? This all could have been avoided. Can we all go back to just like talking to each other and jerking off and no one knows and it's just fine? I'm tired to have to do my makeup just because I have a call with somebody. To quote Jay Leno, what the hell were you thinking? To quote Jay Leno,

that's not a very good joke. Yeah, but he was talking to stuttering John. John, what the hell are you thinking? I can take a stab at this one of what the hell he was thinking. He obviously wants to fuck one of his coworkers because he was getting quite worked up looking at her during the video call.

So I think that's what he was thinking. But he's letting us. now, he's going to be a better person. I'm trying to be a better person. I mean, in therapy, trying to do some public service, working in a food bank, which I certainly am going to continue to do, working on a new book about the Oklahoma City bombing. But I am trying to become the kind of person that people can trust again. Dude, do the book about the Zoom bombing.

Holy shit. That's a silly book I care about. So what is working at a food bank have anything to do with? Who wants to let him touch the food? I'm going to volunteer to food day. Meanwhile, all the people go away, please don't touch the food, Mr. Tupid. We don't touch the food. Greg, Godfell agrees with you on that joke.

Let's hear about how sorry this guy is, shall we? We've covered a lot of political scandals, and we've heard what I like to think of as the politician apology, which is, you know, I'm sorry if you were offended. Which always sounds to me like, I've said the words, now get all. off my back. That's exactly what I've tried not to do. I mean, I have tried and I'm trying now to say how sorry I am sincerely in all seriousness. Above all, I am sorry to my wife and to my family, but I'm also sorry to the people on the Zoom call. Wait, why is he sorry to his wife and family above the people who saw him jerking off on the Zoom call? Because they were in the room too. It was just Sun's iPad.

I don't fucking know. That didn't make any sense to me whatsoever. I didn't understand that. But I thought this was interesting questioning from Allison Camerata. She asked him, all right, so they did an investigation on you at the New Yorker and decided to terminate you. Were there other issues that they found if they had to do an investigation and then terminate you? And in a internal memo, one of the executives there said, I am writing to share with you that our investigation regarding Jeffrey Tubin is complete,

and as a result, he is no longer affiliated with our company. Do you know what else they found? I do, actually. I was told very specifically by the people involved that they looked at my entire career at the New Yorker, you know, 27 years, and found that there had been no complaints about me, no issues, no other, you know, this was not the straw that broke the camel's back. It was just this incident. And I was certainly relieved, though not surprised.

Bullshit. All right. So this seems kind of sketchy. Yeah, they did a full investigation in my entire career. And they found nothing. They found this was the only thing that I did, but still terminated me. Then why do they do an investigation? Let me tell you what they found Allison, 27 years of good work.

Yeah, right. I know. I know. They told me that I was amazing and everyone loved me. So Ellison kind of doubles down on this. She's like, you know, people will look into this. Are you sure? That's what you want to be saying?

So you're saying there will be no surprises after this that will come out? There are no surprises out there about my conduct that I am worried that there is like a, there's a skeleton that's going to be found. Does that sound like a guy who's telling the truth to you, Vinnie Paulino? No, that sounds like a man who has a cockroach running across his desk. Tudan has been married to his Harvard classmates. Amy McIntosh for 34 years, they have two daughters together. But that didn't stop him from having a decade long, on and off affair with a 13 years younger fellow lawyer, Casey Greenfield.

Greenfield got pregnant in 2008, and her lover immediately questioned whether he was the parent, balking at taking a paternity test. When she refused his money for an abortion, he made a counteroffer to swap pregnancies. If she agreed to terminate her pregnancy, he would pay for her to have a child with a child. a sperm donor. So he knocks up his girlfriend. He's married, knocks up his girlfriend, demands she get an abortion, won't take a paternity test. She said, now I'm going to have the kid.

And he says, I'll tell you what, just have an abortion, and I'll pay for you to have a kid if that's what you really want to do. So she decided to go ahead and have the baby. She decided to go ahead and have the baby. Let me ask you a question. Named Rory. Yeah.

Let me ask you a question. Wouldn't you take that deal if you're a hurt? You're like, I can have this guy's kid, or I could have a catalog and decide, Vinny, I don't even know how to answer that question. I'm just saying. I have no idea what I would choose in that scenario. That seems ridiculous.

You always pick the one with the most options. So she had a baby, uh, Rory. And on the day she gave birth, she emailed Tuben inviting him to meet his son. He never replied to it. This is according to page 6.com in 2009 in what some see as a too little too late move, Tubin 48 at that time. And who wants to have a kid named Rory? Who also?

What's the fuck? name is that? Who all we? My way is, am I going to get through this? Who also writes for the New Yorker. Abrupt me, he abruptly adjusted his Facebook profile early yesterday. As of 121 a.m., he updated his previously blank relationship status to married, odd because Tubin has been married since May of 1986, and they have two kids. So it's weird that like right before

this woman comes out and says, yeah, I was having an affair. And this is his son. All of a sudden he changes it. I would just leave it the way it is so it turns out that she did sue him he was forced to take a paternity test and she won full custody of the child but he has to pay child support so

it was his kid it was certainly his kid and he wanted to deny it you are the father he's a bad person Tubin was also described as a sexual predator a woman the daily news described as a well-known media figure claimed he had approached her at a party many years earlier he

came up behind me and whispered in my ears, she told the paper, the publication refused to say exactly what he allegedly said, claiming it was unfit for a family newspaper. He whispered, he leaped to rear and he whispered and he said, prescription jugs. I couldn't I couldn't believe my ears. It was

so disgusting at that time. I never knew people did that, the media figure said. Though the newspaper did not reveal what he was after, the now defunct website Gawker had no such qualms, he had a bit of what could be deemed as anal fixation.

When the woman turned him down, she described how he allegedly followed her to her hotel room. He tried to invite himself in. He said, you know you want it. I said, no, actually, I don't. So this guy's trying to anal rate people. No. See, that's interesting.

Yeah. It's really interesting that you bring that out because your guy wanted to anally rate people. My guy fisted a man to death. Okay. Okay. Yep. That's a good. point, but I'm not done yet.

Let me finish my presentation here. He also, at the end of this apology interview, is real broad of himself with all the media coverage that he's gotten for jerking off on a Zoom call. Hey, you know what? How about two segments on Saturday Night Live about me? That's like, anyway. How unpleasant was that, or whatever? Did you see it?

Did you watch it? I actually did not watch it. I sort of read transcripts, and I guess I saw a little YouTube of it. Okay. So again, he's just lying. He can't even stop himself from lying. I got two sketches on SNL dedicated to me. I mean, not that I like that.

Not that I'm proud of that. Did you watch it? No, I did not. I read a transcript and then I watched it. On YouTube. And then I watched it. Oh, I mean, yeah, I watched it. Right.

The dude's just always lying. By the way, this was one of the jokes from Michael Chey that I thought was pretty good. New Yorker reporter Jeffrey Tubin has been suspended after getting caught masturbating on a Zoom call. And he's from the New Yorker, so you know that jerk was dry as hell. Pretty good. That's a pretty good joke. Pretty good. So Jeffrey Toobin now came into fame and status during the O.J. Simpson trial of the mid-90s.

He was the legal analyst that was really down on O.J. Well, everybody knows he was the real killer. He's one of these guys who thinks that O.J. is guilty of murder. Jeffrey Tuba is one of these guys. And when this happened to him, O.J. could not wait. to hop on Twitter and goof on. Hey, everybody, it's yours truly. My dick is in my pants

right now. That would have been good. Damn. Jeffrey Toobin? At least Pee Wee Herman was in an X-rated movie theater. The bird. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I fucking love that.

I love that OJ got the last laugh out of all of this. Stupid. So, when you go to the creepoff.com and vote for the creepy. creep of this week, you will vote for hashtag me, Tubin, Jeffrey Toobin, the guy who jerks off on Zoom calls. Ladies and gentlemen, I don't think that's what you're going to do.

I do. I think you are just going to, when you go to vote, I want you to just put this in your head. And then you just think about everything that was going on in that house, and you do the right thing. Are you ready for some voicemails? Do we have a sponsor for this segment? The creep-off voice mail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse. A Syracuse woman crashed her SUV into a pond.

And that is why it took until 1973 for Syracuse to allow women to drive. See you in Syracuse. All right. I still think that was a bad decision on their part. Yeah, well, they never learned. No. Carl, again, with the voicemails. Hey, it's me, hoss, cuckaca, cacalla.

This is how I talk. now that I'm yet getting drunk as fuck I felt it was a good time to call into the show to share some of my deepest darkest confessions first and foremost

I am secretly a huge friend of Tom Brady and it isn't just because of his perfect non-club feet or his seven Super Bowl rings it's also because of the way he kisses his family on the lips which I also engage in

also I am now drunk enough to say that the reason I constantly fat chain pity is because I secretly admire the balls he has to waste 700 fucking pounds to fill his face at the Al-Bachi grill every Tuesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and

Monday night. I also offer dessert every time he's there. Call me back. How dare you? Sorry about that phone, Gall. You probably don't listen to WATP's voicemail segment. You're one of those guys who you think are too good for that part of the show. Oh, is that the part where Vick is, or Casey might be involved?

Yeah, Casey, Vic. Well, this is somebody who I played on the show, but I feel like it needs to be played on this show as well. This person's making a lot of good points. Vinny is too fat to have more than one podcast. He's a fat, greasy, sloppy wop, and he's lucky to even

latch on to Carl's coattails and have a roof over his fat head. That's because of my wife's coattails. He's got enough fat on his body. If you had a good machete, you can lop it off and make some sort of a silicone

Blubber Roo to support him. Anyway, later, Vic. Normally you're a cut, but I agree with you this time. Later, Carl, Carl's Clubs of Ruse! Carl's Cud's a Ruse for life! Carl, Coyle Couls of Ruse for life! Good call. Good call. That was really mean. This guy was a real jerk.

He played some pretty mean ones about me, so I felt okay about it. All right, this guy's mad at me. Another guy's mad at me. Okay. Okay, Vinny. You see, I'm from Texas, and I get a little bit excited when somebody from this great state makes it into the scum parade but every time one of ours gets in you completely butcher the name of the area that they're from a few weeks ago you said exar county instead of bear county the exa silent vini i know that you hate immigrants but at least try to learn a little bit of Spanish you're racist piece of shit now i let that slide because i'm a nice guy what's in last week

you did it again we said Bowie county it's pronounced booey you know like the famed nice fighter, James Bowie, legendary defender of the Alamo, James Bowie, prominent slave trader, James Bowie. At this point, I can only feel that you're intentionally disrespecting my Texan culture here. And for that, I'm going to have to keep voting for call until you submit a formal apology to all Texans for your transgressions. Who gives a shit? Who gives a fine?

Hope we get that apology soon. See you soon. All right. Texas. the Lone Star State I would like to apologize Oh you have fucking fold so quickly and easy Oh you're gonna vote for Carl

Then I apologize I would like to apologize I'll be better Please vote for Minnie You are just always begging for votes I would like to apologize to Texas That you were not able to successfully defend the Alamo And that you got a good man from Tennessee

Like Davy Crockett murdered Wow And your shitty state Wow. And that's the way the news goes. All right. You redeemed yourself with that one. You wouldn't love to get it out, you piece of shit.

Congrats. Just over talking me. I lived in Fort Worth. I hate Texas. Fucking everybody down there was an asshole to me. Fuck Texas. Texas. Right up your ass.

Where have you lived where people are nice to you? That's what I'd like to know. Yeah. It's not a Texas thing. It's not a Texas thing. San Diego eat a dick. Fucking. Well, there are fun things to do, though, in San Diego.

The cars are passing me by, they honk and say hello. And I got his jacket on his window. There's a guy shooting video. Video of him jack. And if the good Lord Jesus comes knocking on my door, just tell him that I'm jacking it in San Diego. Last voice mail. Oh, my God, Carl again.

Hey, then, this is Carl. And I just wanted to let you know to already sign a contract to get safe for work creep off now on ACASM media. This week's creeps, the creeper from Minecraft, and anyone who doesn't get the COVID vaccine. I would say it wasn't for the money, but I have already cashed me on these checks. Good gear.

All right. Thanks for letting me know. ACAS, that fucking network, Jesus Christ. What is it? It's the network that my dad wrote a porno's on. And so because my wife's obsessed with that show, she hears all these ads for other shows and then says you've got to do baby steps,

which Chrissy Mayer and I had to suffer three. this past week. Poor Chrissy Mayer. I know. Having to a show with you and listen to that? I know. It doesn't make any sense to me. Horrible.

Why don't you hit that scum parade music? Is it time for a scum parade? Get that. Scum parade. Go it, baby. Look down. Oh, no. It's the scum parade.

Oh, no. Look out for the skum parade. Making him in his day. Ottawa Police found 30-year-old Ryan Dodd at some horse stables. He was at a stall, Carl, with his pants down and his penis up. Pants down, cock up. He was standing next to a miniature pony that had been tied up and lubed up with massage oil. He immediately turned to the police and said, I'm sorry.

It's not what it looks like. Yes. It sure looks like you're trying to fuck that pony, sir. I know, sir, I know officer that this may look a little incriminating. I don't think he even came up with an excuse. Yeah, nothing. He went to trial last week for this. Oh, but before that, though.

Yeah, go ahead. Can you read the embarrassing part to him, the part that was embarrassing to him? What's right? Okay. This is the thing that was embarrassing for him. So the police officer was just told him to step out. the stall he was naked and he tried to put his pants back on but he did it backwards saying quote this is embarrassing

So the guy was maybe just a crisscross fan. You couldn't work and there it is, you fucking ass. Who would have thought that crisscross would be a flash of the pan, huh? I thought those kids had stang power. I'm shocked that that just kind of came and went. I had a lot of posters. Police found the smell. I believe it.

I did not have a criss cross poster. Police found the smell of scented body oil overwhelming. Yeah. And Dodd was cooperative with the arresting officers. and said he had been drinking and did two lines of Coke a few hours before breaking into the barn. Why would he say that?

This is, I don't understand at all. Doing two lines of Coke hours ago is the same as doing no Coke. Don't break it up. Nope, don't bring that up to the police officers. So the miniature pony, its hair coat left greasy, smelled of perfume for days.

The police noted that her genitalia appeared shiny. All right, who's the creep here? The police are noting what the genitalia looked like, like it's abnormal? How do you know how it's supposed to look, officer? She was totally into it. The genitalia looks odd to you. She was rid as hell.

I have no idea what, how shiny ponies genitalia should be. I don't know why you do. Police seized an empty bottle of body oil and rope. The pony had been restrained with one rope around her neck and another around her hindquarters. Police also seized a pink silicone vagina replica used for masturbation from the pocket of Dodd's hoodie. The veterinarian exam revealed no trauma to the pony's vaginal area or rectum. Three swabs showed no semen or oil from the vagina.

The hamstring region are high in legs. The veterinary noted a copious oily perfume substance on the rump. Now, he was arrested for this, obviously, and he went to jail. He was convicted. Yes. For attempted bestiality. That's some bullshit right there. Dude didn't even fuck a horse, and he's arrested for Waddington.

It's Canada. He only goes to jail for like a day and a half for that. All right. But still, I think that that's kind of like, if I got arrested for everything that I didn't do but thought about doing, I'd be in prison forever. Could you imagine being the lawyer having to defend this guy? Would you like to know how the lawyer defended him in court? Yeah, this is how I would do it. He never put his penis inside an animal. What are we even talking about? You could have gotten him for breaking and entering. Yeah, sure, sure. He probably should not have been in the stall with the pony. Correct. The rope was a bit odd, too. I mean, maybe there's like, maybe there's something. type of charge around that. The lawyer was like, hey, listen, he went in the

barn to jerk off. That's why he had the fake vagina. Yeah. Who doesn't want to jerk off on a pony? So he was jerking off and like the thing got slippery and then he was trying to hold the bottle and squirted out of the horse's pussy. And the cops walked in and he said, this isn't what it looks like.

He thought it was a heavy petting zoo. The name of this episode, you caught me all was drinking water. Heavy petting zoo, episode number All right, let's head to Kentucky, shall we? Let's do it. Michael T. Redmond, 51 of Frankford, Kentucky was arrested Saturday in charge with first-degree criminal abuse for the alleged extreme mistreatment he inflicted on his wife. Okay.

The victim whose identity has not been revealed. Incorrect newspaper article. Michael T. Redmond's wife. It's not hard. Yeah, we don't want to tell you who this person was. Yeah, not hard. Apparently, she has cognitive issues. Which is a woman, redundant.

She's allowed to drive at Syracuse. The incident came to late Saturday morning after Evan drove his wife to Franklin Regional Medical Center. The nursing staff who attended the 48-year-old woman found that she had stuck to the seat of his truck. The woman was also covered in urine and feces and had several sores on her body. Her skin had also deteriorated in some parts. I don't want to know any more about that. According to the criminal complaint, the hospital authorities immediately called Frankfurt EMS. asked for lift assistance to remove the victim

out of the truck. Sure. So they were like, hey, listen, can you stop by the Home Depot and grab a couple paint scrapers? Because we got to get this bitch off the leather seats. It's so brutal. This is so bad. So the victim then told the hospital authorities that Redmond was her primary

caretaker. She said she asked Redmond to take her to Franklin Regional on July 12th. The Redmond put her inside the trunk. He left her there. Despite pleading for help multiple times. Redmond paid no attention, leaving her there for five consecutive days. See, this just sounds to me like he just kind of forgot. Like, sometimes I have things I might to do with, and they just don't get dumb. I got this juror qualification questionnaire that's

been sitting on my desk for weeks now. You know what I mean? Like, you just like, you get busy doing other things. You get a project going, and you just forget about it. I'll take you when I'm finish with my game. I mean, sometimes they don't get back to emails for weeks at a time. So I get it. I probably just forgot. So five days later, he finally took her this complaining woman to the hospital. I got shit up my truck.

Damn you. Like, what did he expect to have happen? Her to hold it? Well, why is she covered in it? That's what I don't understand. Was he also peeing on her? Because why would she be covered in? She's just rolling around the first seat. But I thought she was stuck. Oh, God. All right.

I don't know. I'm done with the story. I'm ready to move on. the way he's in the Franklin County Detention Center out of $10,000 cash bond. So let's go down to Lebanon, Tennessee. Okay. Do you sure you pronounce that correctly? I don't give a fuck. Oh, I'd like

to apologize to Tennessee and I'd like to specifically apologize that Davy Crockett was too much of a pussy to defend the alimaux. Okay, doubling down on that one. I don't know what my problem is. If you live in Texas, vote for Carl. That's my message.

A four-month-old is dead, Carl. And her father is now charged with her murder after reportedly falling on top of her while under the influence of fentanyl and remaining there until she died. So this asshole was left alone with his four-month-old daughter. Yeah. His wife goes to work. Sure. And instead of just, you know, watching internet porn, hanging out and take care of the baby. Yeah, yeah.

First thing this asshole does, I don't know if he snorted it or shot it up, but he. fucking passed out directly on top of this child and smothered her to death. I'm not understanding the upside of fentanyl. I feel like it's got a real PR crisis going on with this drug. I'm never hearing positive things. Like, I'm wondering if they want to be maybe a client

after Syracuse stops sponsoring the voicemail segment, because we need some positive news about fentanyl. I'd be happy to read it. The voicemail segment is brought to you by fentanyl. Yeah. It doesn't kill everyone. Try it today. Please use responsibly. Did you notice the photo of this guy?

His nose chose to be on the right side of his face. I've never seen anyone. I swear to God, I hope the cops decided that for his note. I hope so, too. He is so asymmetrical. It's bizarre looking. Yeah, I don't like him. It's like a bad drawing.

He was indicted by a grand jury in his charge with first-degree felony murder, aggravated child abuse and neglect. Hey, listen, folks, and I'm dead serious. I really truly mean this, that if you have a problem with fentanyl or heroin. it get some help and I also have an announcement to make what an ugly world this podcast clicking is get on the bus

get on the fucking bus right all right Carl in the biggest nightmare story I might have read in a while and I read the whole Bob Berdala thing earlier two South African police officers

from Maitland in Cape Town were arrested on kidnapping charges now the incident took place on May 29th and both police officers were arrested in charge with kidnapped. Here's what they did. This is hilarious. These two fucking assholes

arrested a guy who bed breaking into houses and was stealing stuff. Sure. They realized that the guy needed medical attention so they took him to the hospital for treatment. While he's there, a younger officer was left to guard the suspect

but during that time the suspect escaped. Yes. The suspect got up out of his bed and And the cops, now all of a sudden it turns into Where to go? Where did he go? And they're running out the hospital. They're all running fast motion. There's like a hallway and the doors are opening and the guys get it out one side and they're just running. At one point the guy dresses up as a physician. Yeah. And he's like standing like with a pad talking to nurses. And then wait a second. And then for no reason the cops come around. running out of another room and they were dressed like doctor too.

And then the one got some nurse. It's so funny. It was so wacky. So they couldn't find the guy. And they were like, oh, shit, we're going to be in so much trouble. Yeah. Oh, we're going to get grounded and we don't come back with this perp. Be in big trouble.

So the two senior officers said to the young officer, they go, all right, we need to do something. So they arrested a random guy. Yep. We got to pick somebody up. We got to bring somebody back. They thought they'd be in big trouble. and they grabbed an innocent stranger off their street to, quote, replace the prisoner who had escaped. The shocked innocent man found himself handcuffed in the police car, accused of breaking an entry and theft.

And despite protesting his innocence at the police station, they threw him into the cells and they left him there for two nights until a detective arrived and realized when checking the case file listening to the man's story that the officers had switched and because he looked nothing like the suspect. Yeah, they couldn't even find a guy who was the same color as the suspect. Like, wait a second. I thought we were looking for a white guy. So the cops were both charged. They were fired. They appeared in court.

It were given bail. And the cases adjourned until October. But Jesus Christ. I want to say this, South Africa is a fucking mess right now. I don't know if you're seeing what's going on there with the protesting and burning down everything, looting everything. And I just want to say, I know apartheid isn't great. I know people were kind of down on

apartheid, but what you're doing now to fucking sit here what they're doing now ain't working. Carl, shut the fuck up. Are you out of your fucking mind? I'm just saying.

I'm just Stop being a dickhead fool. Stop being a dick head. Stop it. I'm just saying everything. At least peewee was in an X-rated theater.

I'm just saying, can I please say that everything Carl just said is his own opinion. Listen, a lot of... A lot of people think of part-time was bad. I'm sure they have some merit to that argument. What they're doing now is not working.

I have no words to you. Okay. So I guess that's the end of our show. Before we go, I want to take a second, and I would like to just simply say, my name is Vinnie Paulino from the Creep-off podcast, and I'd like to congratulate Brother Wees. I'd make it into the Professional Radio Hall of Fame.

Nominated, right? has he actually been inducted yet or just nominated i don't fucking know just being a smart ass um yeah congrats to brother weez the radio hall of fame is a really important place to be it no one knows where it is how to find it i think it's in some guy's basement but that's awesome canton it's in canton it's not it's in chicago somewhere oh gross yeah oh by the way we're going to be in chicago lombard son w atp live dot com is where you can go to get tickets How many tickets are left? I don't know.

That's a good question. I don't have a counter on my end. But if you purchase tickets, you will see both myself and Vinny, and we are going to do an episode of The Creepoff. We are? I think so. I haven't really decided what we're doing yet, but I think we probably will. Should we do like a opening show to the WATP show? We don't have time for that, but we're going to do a little creep-off mini episode inside WATP.

Maybe we'll get Crowe involved too. I don't feel good about that. Okay. See, here's the thing about that, Cro's. I don't know how good he's going to be on stage. Oh, yeah, you're concerned. You think he's going to be a little shy? I think you got that Andy.

He's going to sit there and just look at his notes and maybe pee a little. Andy might pee a little bit. I just played a rock show with Kroche on Saturday, and he is not shy on stage. He's not a bashful person on stage. Well, I'm worried. Now, ladies and gentlemen, when you go to vote this week, don't forget, vote Bob Berdella. Oh, hi there. Shady, shady, shady, fack, bag, sheddy, fagdy, fag.

It's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice. Good gear. And pain is it? But sex. Oh! Fucking thing sucked!