The Creep Off - Episode 81: Hey This Guy is Not a Doctor!

Episode Date: September 27, 2021

This week Vinnie & Karl go back to school and nominate their choices for creepiest elementary teacher: In the scum parade we meet a wildly dysfunctional couple, a pervy pastor and the worst of them all a male nurse. 

Oh, back to school, back to school to prove to dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight. I hope I don't get in a fight. Oh, back to school. Teaching parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't any of these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want.

Sensation, horror, shock. I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive, and I'm not backing down. Goon, goon, goon. Showtime. Woo! Hello, Creepos. Welcome to another edition of your favorite true crime podcast, the show about creeps, by creeps, for you creeps.

My name is Vinnie Paulino. Power of power, too sweet to be sour. The people's champion. Vinnie Baleno. And that's my co-host, Hot Cuck, Coo. Carla. What is happening, Vinnie Paul? You know, good to see you, my friend.

It is good to see you. Yes, another Monday. Another Monday afternoon. Here we are. It's been a while since I've looked forward to one of these. Oh, really? Really, really. You like what happened in the voting last week?

Is that what you're all excited about? I got to tell you something. Yeah? The Creepmaster General over here was pretty happy with the results. So what was our category last week? Now, we did creepiest French person. Right. And who was your creeper?

you're a creep? I don't know. Okay, great. So my creep was a man who savagely murdered old ladies to basically live a party lifestyle until he died of AIDS at 27. Right. And the results are in.

Who's the results, Murray? It looks like Vinny has 55% of the vote. Oh shit. Oh, shit. Exote. We can't believe. This is a huge deal. I'm feeling good, baby.

You're not going to give me down. You're not going to give me down today, Carl. All right, buddy. All right, you got a victory. So what's the scoreboard at? Okay, so right now, we are now tied to, too, but here's the problem. What's the problem? We got a problem.

Uh-oh. A fucking specter over our head. Uh-oh. We have a guest book for next week in the guest category. Is it four? Oh, we probably shouldn't allow people to vote for the guest then. That's just a simple fix, isn't it? Yeah, pretty simple.

Just leave it off. And that it was a technical. Glitch. It was the goddamn bots again, guys. So we got Eric Zane coming in next week, right? Zaniac, yeah. So what category should we do? I was thinking because Eric Zane, we would do something radio related, plus it's going to be Jocktober. Oh, and we're

celebrating radio on, uh, who are these podcasts throughout the month. Okay, so you want to do creepiest radio host? Sure. I think we've done that before. I think we did creepiest news anchor. Oh, right, right, right, right. Okay, yeah, yeah, we did do radio host. Yeah. Bill O'Reilly was on the radio.

Yeah, we could do this. Uh, was Pat O'Brien? I'm just wondering. Did Pat O'Brien ever get a radio? I'm sure he did. I'm sure at some point somebody paid him for it. I would imagine, yeah. Yeah.

He has the voice. The grease man. Funny, funny, funny, funny, funny. So, ladies and gentlemen, this week's creeps category was voted on by you. We decided because it was back to school time. Carl threw it out there and I was lazy and I was like, all right. So we put it out there. You could pick the cat.

You could pick the level of school. We put it in elementary school. high school or college, and you fucking weirdos picked elementary school. Sure did. They just jumped right on it. Yep. So creepiest elementary school teacher is what we're doing this week. Vinnie, you won.

So you're up first, buddy. Ladies and gentlemen, my creep, you would think it's the first person I'm going to talk about in this story, but it is not. Okay. This is how this whole situation started. There was a criminal complaint filed by Special Agent

Robert Hire of the FBI, and in this complaint, he says that the Sanford Police Department in Seminole County Sheriff's Officer in Florida were investigating a possible sexual battery to a child victim. Okay. Now, the suspect at the time was only identified

as JR in the document and a friend of the child's mother... Oh, my God! Bagao! Bago! Bago! The child broke in a ham! All right, that was me, so you can't drink on that one. Oh, my God.

God, that was you. And I didn't even put it in a J.R. reference. I should have just pulled clips. It's all right. We'll have other J.Rs in the future, I'm sure. By God, the father's hands are taped. Okay. So in a document, a friend of the child's mother called police after

the four-year-old daughter of J.R. said that her father had, quote, licked her vulva. Whoa. Whoa. Now, I don't know if the child said this, but that's what the FBI report says, because I read

every goddamn word of this thing. I've never been accused of doing that. The complaint explains that a forensic child interviewer sat down to the little girl on March 6th, 2019. She repeated that, quote, during bath time, her father had licked her private parts many times, had her hold his cell phone so he could record what he was doing, and he put his penis into her mouth. Oh, God.

What a creep. Yeah. This is not the creep that we're talking about? No. What? No. He was fucking his four-year-old daughter? Correct.

That's a problem. Yes. Yes. Because they're family. You know? It's incest. No, Carl. Well, I will say this.

When it does come to incest, I denounce it. We don't. Fair enough. I don't go for that either. I'm not trying to condone it. That is not necessarily the only problem here. Oh, okay. Okay.

Now, J.R. is now identified as a man named Justin Ritchie. My God, it's just. Justin is a married father of three who is having an affair with my creep today, Audra Mabel. Okay. Audra Mabel's 34 years old. All right. And Audra was dating and having an affair, like I said, with this guy. And the FBI arrested Justin at his house, and they searched his phone.

And when they searched his phone, this special agent, Rob Heyer, was like, Gucci Mama. Jesus Christ. the shit that was on this guy's phone. Now, who is Audra? Audra Mabel previously taught first grade while living in Lansing, Michigan. Mabel moved to Seminole County, Florida in 2018 and taught kindergarten at Spring Lake Elementary in the suburb of Altamont Springs. Okay. Now, I'm going to read to you part of the FBI report here. Now, the forensic examiners located several videos and images on J.R.'s iPhone that depicted J.R.'s iPhone that depicted J.

are sexually assaulting his one-year-old child as well. You're right on cue. Good job. Now, in addition, they located approximately 10 other videos that depict Mabel using her one-year-old son, who they're only commenting as L.M. in this complaint. I guess he stands for Lil Mabel. Sure. So, Lil Mabel is her one-year-old son to engage or assist her in sexually explicit conduct for the purpose of producing videos for jr this is what he says mabel produced the videos on her about july 2017 with in with an iPhone about 10 videos show her naked lot the baby lying on his back on a changing table L.m's face is rarely visible in the video and the focus of the video is the child's penis

in one of the videos Mabel manipulates the child's penis until it becomes erect The video can take a one year old Yes This is a lot of detail They don't usually talk this much about the FBI report I found the FBI report

This is the news story This is the fucking FBI I read a lot of these types of stories nowadays Not that I like to So this guy's looking through this phone And so far he's just like Oh boy He's

Oof Who's that old guy over there? Uncle Paul, Uncle Paul. It's Uncle Paul. It's Uncle J.R. In one of these videos, this is the one that I think is going to do the most damage to Lil Mabel. Okay. The video contains, for several seconds, focused on the child's wrecked penis.

In another video, Mabel secretes her breast milk onto the child's penis. That's uncalled for it. Bago. What fucking category is that? What kind of kink is that shit? Well, it's food-born? Oh, you're into it. Okay, I got it.

No, I'm not saying. Yeah, that's your thing. I don't want to kick-shame you there, Biddy. This is the shit that warps the child's brain, dude. You think? Yeah, like, this kid's going to fucking try to stuff hamburgers in his dick when he grows up. Oh, this kid's going to get an eruption every time he hears this song. And not know why.

I actually have audio of the child from the video. This is also evidence. Yeah, come on my face. That's fine. That's what the kid said. He talks like an idiot. No. He sounds like a moron.

Baby's a mongoloid. Probably club-footed. Yeah, probably a deepened symptom on that, kid. Wait, you had a deviated symptom too? I do have a deviated symptom, yeah. Oh. Just add that to the list, everybody. Part 12 of the complaint says, I heard a female voice in some of the videos.

I have interviewed Mabel and recognized the female voice in the video as Mabel's. The videos have the same background, and thus, appear to be produced in the same location, and he gets into that this is from her iPhone and all the software. Investigator is also located another video of JR's phone showing Mabel lying on a bed with her breasts and vagina exposed. The video shows Mabel masturbating with a phallic device while Lil Mabel sucks on her breast. What is going on here? Little Mabel appears to be one year old in the video. Now, I would say that's too old to be breastfeeding a kid, isn't it?

I don't think you should be masturbating while breastfeeding regardless of the age of the child. Yeah, but that's a little too old for that. And they also locate an additional illicit sexually explicit video on J.R.'s phone that Mabel produced inside the school where she worked as a first grade teacher in Lansing, Michigan. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Yeah. So in the video, Mabel uses her iPhone to record her exposed vagina from underneath her skirt, rubbing her side. rubbing herself

She then pulled the iPhone So far so good She then pulled the iPhone from under her skirt And focused the camera on her face She smiled Then turned the camera and focused it On the classroom of what appears to be first graders Who are in the immediate facility

Sitting at their desks What She was sitting there Filming herself Masturbating directly in front of Her entire first grade class What is going on with these people? And then she said it to her boyfriend.

Yeah, her boyfriend was into that. Well, why do you think she made them all? Yeah. She made them all for him, Carl. So JR's really the creep in this book. J.R.'s out of elementary school teacher, so now you have to try to spin it and make it seem like she's the problem. She is a fucking masturbated in front of a first grade class and filmed it for her boyfriend. Okay.

Now, we're going to have a little more fun here. And let's get it to what happens next. What happens next? He's done watching the thing. I'm guessing a giant elementary orgy. At this point, he's just like, the FBI guy's just like, I'm going to get this lady. And he finds her in Seminole County, Florida on March 13th, 2019, she admitted to having shot the videos, including the ones that involved her young son. She explained that she had recorded the videos when she was living in Lansing and had set them to J.R. over the internet.

She told officials that this occurred during the very beginning of her relationship with J.R. in 2017. Mabel also admitted that fantasies about child sex abuse are part of her and J.R.'s own sex life. The avidavidavid reads, Mabel said that J.R. had discussed children with her sexually in the past, and they sometimes incorporated role-playing fantasies of child sex abuse into their relations. At times using... That's fucked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

At times using the name of J.R.'s minor children. So, uh, she would pretend to be his kids for him. What an asshole! Yeah. Mabel J.R. also read stories to each other about sex between children and adults, but she said she ended her romantic relationship with J.R. in June of 2018. Would you like to know why? I've heard a number of reasons why they should break up, but you tell me the one that she used. Here's the thing. She was sending these videos. She was really trying to keep this guy, and she was trying to entice this guy because she really wanted him to leave his wife. Oh, he's married.

wouldn't. Okay. He's a married father of three. Okay. This is an affair. Gotcha. This is just crazy side shit. Yeah. Now, Justin Ritchie was sentenced to 150 years behind bars after pleading guilty to four counts of sexual exploitation minor. Our girl, Audra Mabel 35, the elementary school teacher, was sentenced to 22 years in prison, followed by 10 years of supervised release after pleading guilty to sexual exploitation of a minor. Now, here's the fun twist. Yeah. this fucking jr is something else also convicted sarah rich richie 40 years old justin's wife oh she's in part of this now too huh she got 15 years in prison followed by 10 years of supervised release after pleading guilty to aiding and abetting the sexual exploitation of a minor okay okay so you see why he didn't leave her now these people are a problem he's got the kids he likes to fuck at home yep he's got the wife who's apparently all right with it and he's going to leave her all of this greatness for this crazy school teacher in Michigan who moved down to Florida.

She was in Michigan and she moved down to Florida by where he was. They broke up because he would not leave his wife. She's a crazy person, dude. Well, they're all crazy people. She masturbated in front of a first grade class. These are all crazy people. I agree. They are.

But she's a creep, dude. This is fucking vile. All right. And that is my creep. That is your creep. But would you like to know what the wife did? I actually have the info on what the wife did. Oh, yeah, what did the wife do?

I found a story about why she was convicted, and prosecutors allege that the Richies, the two of them, exchanged multiple texts between June 18th and 19th, my birthday of 2018, that contained child pornography. According to the criminal complaint, the first text which contained a web story about an adult male having text with a 10-year-old girl he was babysitting was sent by Justin to Sarah.

In the text that followed, Justin Ritchie asked his wife if he could send her more pictures, which investigators say contain child pornography. They said Richie responded, sure, with a smiley face emoji. According to the complaint, prior to sending the images, Justin asked his wife if what he was doing bothered her.

And in the text message, she responded, nope, with another smiley face emoji. Jesus Christ. The complaint says additional messages followed. What the fuck. Say, Mama! Yeah. These people are nuts.

They are fucking crazy. But Audra, I think, takes the cake. Are any of these chicks hot? She's a Spence Report 7. Okay, that's a No. Spence Report 7. All right. I got it.

I'm grading women from now on. All right. Spence Report scale. My creep this week is... That's the name of this episode, the Spence Report scale. My creep this week, yeah, because everyone knows what Spencerport is. Great joke. Harrell's hometown.

We're all the girls have club feet and all the boys have teeth like pianos. all right we got that out of the way now we're good move on my creep is a fourth grade teacher his name is mr. Borden do you know who Mr. Borden is no he was my fourth grade teacher

I got to see on a book report that I did holy shit you sound like Chris Chan what do you got I got special needs kids anyway all right it's not actually Mr. Borden but that guy did suck he can go fuck himself no I want to bring up Amelia Ressler

now you're going to get excited her last name R-E-S-S-L-E-R, so it's not Ressler. I'm just glad I could continue to do J-R through the rest of the day. So let's find out about Meas-R-R-R-E-R-S-Lessler. It's me, Ms. Ressler, brother. 30-year-old Amelia Ressler is facing 20 counts of child molestation after authorities discovered video

of the substitute teacher engaging in indecent and immoral acts at Mount Zion Elementary School. All right, so this happened. back in January of this year. Oh, so this girl's just copied my girl. She was arrested in February and it sounds like she is a little bit of a copycat. A Georgia's substitute is now facing 19 counts of child molestation after masturbating in a room full of students. The Carroll County Sheriff's Office tells us they acquired a video wrestler took of her engaging in indecent and immoral activities while in the presence of school age kids.

The video was submitted by a concerned community member who stumbled upon the video. All right. So we have this woman, Mrs. Ressler was wrestling with herself. Yes, we have this woman who's in front of her class of seven and eight year olds and she is just jagging it, jagging it, jacking it, spike it spike in it, smack. But even worse, she's filming herself doing this. Right, exactly what Mike Kroot did. like what you're creeped at. Now, the town folk here in Georgia are not real thrilled with this

type of behavior, as you might expect. Women didn't even know they could do that down there. Francis Burns has a grandson who attends school at Mount Zion. She can't imagine what would bring a teacher to do such a thing. If I had a had a child in that class, I would have probably been in jail tonight. Our kids are our future. And when you have somebody that's like that, they sure don't need to be around no children. We don't want their liberal. We don't want their sexual education classes in our schools. This is all part of that critical race theory

curriculum. I knew it. These teachers. Yeah, this is pretty deep south we're talking about. Oh, Jesus Christ. That sounds exactly like my wife's grandmother, by the way. This is 94 miles outside of Atlanta. I met that woman. The first time I met her, I sat next to her at a wedding. Ladies, she sounds exactly

like that woman, but she goes, one of the bridesmaids looked like two of me walking down the And she leads it next to me, she goes, That cow looks like she's got four stomachs. It was just the greatest fucking roast line ever. I love that. That's great.

So this woman, Amelia Russell, on her Facebook page, I went and tracked down her Facebook page. She identifies herself as beautifully broken, perfectly imperfect, just altogether a dazzling disaster. Jesus Christ. Yep. I would say she is a disaster because, you know, she got caught? You know she got caught, Vinny?

This is the reason why she got caught. She's a fucking moron. The reason this girl got caught was because she posted her video, like I said, on Snapchat. And thankfully, there was a normal person on her Snapchat that saw that and then turned that into the police. Thank God. She posted on Snapchat. 50 bucks says it was one of the kids' dads. You think?

Yeah. Probably. He's following her on snap. Probably. So, obviously, she's arrested on all of these counts because there were 19. children who all witnessed her uh jerking herself off in the classroom well now it's come out as of august that the boyfriend instructed her to do that he wanted to get that video so now he's been arrested and is also in jail awaiting a court trial so they're expecting that she's

going to get between seven and 12 years in prison my go got 22 and your girl got 22 so that's my creep this week oh god yeah rustler so weird are so similar. But my story's so much better. That's, well, I mean, ladies a gentleman. Better or longer? Your story was longer.

I'll give you that. I don't know about better. Fuck you. So where can people vote, Carl? Go to the creepoff.com. Vote for me. Thank you, everybody. Make sure you do that.

Now, Carl, we got to talk real quick before we get into the voicemail segment. Okay. I'm a little concerned. Next week, we talked about this Eric Zane thing. We got the wheel of consequences. Yeah. And if we lose that, we're going to have to come up with tandem consequences for this fucking wheel.

For real? Are that what we're doing? Yeah, because we're going to have to spin it together. You're just encouraging people to vote for our guests. So there was a suggestion for the wheel that was sent to me. Okay. And the idea was that we should do a two creeps, one cave episode. Okay.

Where we just sit there and be silly, giggly boys eating peanut butter. And I said, that sounds great. It's a terrible idea. I said that sounds great. would we make a purposely bad podcast? Who would want to watch that? Right. That's true, but I want to eat peanut butter.

You can eat peanut butter on your own time. Yeah, but I can't use the show as an excuse. All right. So that's a terrible idea. I'm poo-pooing that one. All right. Do you want to talk about voicemails? Yeah, we got a sponsor for that.

The Creep-off voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse, home of dinosaur barbecue, the dinosaur chicken nuggets of barbecue. See you in Syracuse. I didn't get that one. They are the shitty barbecue, the dinosaur chicken nuggets of barbecue. Yeah. Can't win a mom, McBride. I told you.

I told you what was going to fucking happen. I love the dinosaur barbecue. It's great. All right. Hey, Ben, whenever interns listening to this, I had to vote for Carl this week and the creepiest French person. You didn't pick a creep there, Vin. You picked somebody that was in love.

I mean, what, man, don't you know in love that one, put a bag over and over old lady's head and wait for her to die? I mean, that's true love there, not a creep at all. So good luck next week. See you. All right, well, that person gets it. Well, I think he bought into your argument.

I think so. Hey, guys, it's Monday's the biggest creep that calls into this fucking show. So I was looking at the YouTube shit page, and it looks like you have episode 100 coming up, and I think for that you need to make it special by reviewing each other. you know make an actual like not just shit on each other like an actual case that the other one's the biggest creep and then maybe have a special punishment for that episode

I don't know all right that's it Vinny Winnie Carl's kisses Cox dealt with all K's I like that that's that's inappropriate for a number of reasons sir Jesus okay it's not that buddy over there so he ended strong

And it's strong, yeah. But, uh, no, I don't want to make, Carl isn't a creep. He's a creetin, but he's not a creep. Episode 100 is 18 weeks away. Yeah, we got time. We got plenty of time to figure that one out. Yeah. But, uh, yeah, I don't want to be interviewing all of, uh, I thought 108 was supposed to be the big one.

Well, that is for Dick. Who? Dick Masterson, right? Isn't that if you have 108 episode, he's forced to guest on it with you? Yeah. I'm sure he would do next weeks if we asked him, so he will bump Zane. I think so, too. Yeah, but we'll get up another time. All right.

I have a voicemail that came in. I don't feel good about that. So, this is that guy from Buffalo who claims he came up with the nickname Carl Hamburger. Hey, Carl. I did a little digging about the Carl Hamburger name in episode 56 of the creep off the Easter special. It's a 22-minute mark. You can clearly see me, Dave from Buffalo, coining the front to term, Carl, hamburger slash cheeseburger.

And Vinnie, you can apologize directly. Apologize Dave to Buffalo. Dave from Buffalo. I'm sorry. And we'll leave it here. We won't have any further problems. Vinny, I'll be awaiting your apology. That's all.

Okay. All right. So I went and found this audio. Okay. So that we can play it here and see if this person, Dave from Buffalo, is the one who coined the nickname Carl Hamburger or not. Listen closely. here's my conundrum

I don't know who to vote for Vinny Winnie or Carl the Smile Cheeseburger I was born with fucking a rotten chicken nugget feet I think goes out to make fun of my feet

so Carl the Smile Cheasburger is not Carl Hamburger it's not and the fact that you're taking credit for that is nonsense yeah I would like to apologize to him hey Dave I apologize

that you're from Buffalo I'm sorry for you Oh, come on. Let's go, Bills. Paul, this is Tampa and Tom. I'm leaving this here in case it doesn't get to the creep off for some reason. But the dude who keeps saying that he created Carl Hamburger. It wasn't new or Vinny, bro.

It was Doug. When Doug first had contact with W.E.P., Doug Ram Hozer-A. On Twitter, during the Kevin's era, he called Carl Carl Asperger's, and then, very shortly after, called him Carl Hamburger's. And why are you fucking problem? of that anyway, bro. It's not you. And it's Carl Hertzberger to hamburger. You're a creative genius, bro.

Go fuck yourself, you fat virgin. What the fuck? It's going on here. Everyone's so mean. Yeah. Everyone's so mean. All right. Yeah, Carl does have Asperger. So you guys, we don't call him that. He gets upset. He's claiming that Doug coined this going back like four years ago. Yeah, sure. When someone proves that, I'll believe it. Yeah. Your voicemail proves nothing.

I'm going to see evidence of this. What's that guy's name? That was a tampon Tom? Tampon Tom. I like tampon Tom. Me too. No beef. I just, I don't know, pal.

I got a couple more here. I'm not going to yell at you like Dave from Buffalo. I like this guy. That fucking Mark. This call is a little bit longer, Vinny, but I like this. Dave from Buffalo. I got a quick idea for the creep off. Just hear me out.

Two separate punishment wheels. Hear me out. Okay. Whereas like a punishment on the wheel could be, you know, eat a large pizza in 30 wings and a half hour. where for you, that would be a punishment. You know, you'd damn near die trying that. Whereas Vinny, that's a Saturday afternoon.

Right. You know what I mean? Or Tuesday. So two specific wheels. You got Carl's wheel punishment. Vinny's wheel punishment. Okay. It's beautiful.

So Taylor. You know, or say a punishment on Vinny's will. You know, a punishment, you know, go to the gym five days a week. Yeah. For you, you know, okay, whatever, no big deal. Whereas Vinny's, that's hell on earth. Yeah. So just mull it over.

Yeah. I mean, there's plenty of them. You know, I'm just thinking more tailored punishments to each host. Yeah. You know, there's just, you guys are just almost polar opposites. You know, you're funny, handsome, charming. Vinnie's fat, retarded, stupid, Italian. You know what I mean.

You see what I'm getting at. Just, you know, mull it over. Let me know what you think. I like it. All right, thanks, buddy. Go bills. You know what I think. Miami Dolphins suck of any.

You know, you know what I think, Dave. Well, it sucks. That's what I thank. I don't think that was Dave You suck I think it is I think it's the same voice I got one more

Maybe it's not I could be wrong I got one more here I'm sorry It's all fluid backing up to my brain Because I'm a fat virgin Fuck it I'll fight any of you

These people are funny today I like them Carl This is for the creep off I would like to nominate My wife For the scum parade if I may Okay

She hasn't bought a box of tampons in 15 fucking years because every time it's time for her to get some she doesn't go get them from the store she calls me in a panic I'm bleeding out I'm bleeding out came over

I can't feel my legs I need you to get me a box of tampons like every single time she's done with her period she goes well that's never happening again I feel confident about that nope it happens every fucking month

so why do I have to go get the goddamn tampons and the reason why why? It's because she's a creep and she's secretly getting pleasure from singing me the fucking story and getting tampons. Come me back. All right. My wife does something similar

to me, except she's way more dramatic. She actually texts me this. And then you know, I know what that means. Get a mop. Get a mop. All right, kids. Are you ready for a skump parade? I am ready for the scum brain.

Let's go. Hit some music. Watch out for the scum parade. Oh, no, it's the scum parade. Oh, no, it's the scum parade. Making Phenny's Day. His day. You know what made my day?

What's that? It was last Wednesday when I went over to your house and watched AEW with you. Yeah, that was fun. We're going to go to the live. taping. It's Wednesday. Yeah, you're going to wrestling, Carl. I'm going to be at the wrestling event here in Rochester.

Are you going to make a sign? No, I wasn't planning on making a sign. I'm going to make a sign. I know you will. It's going to say, bring back Brody Lee. Okay. We'll see what happens. So, uh, this is the scubb parade, ladies and gentlemen.

We're going to start off in Las Vegas, home of the Las Vegas. Cocksucking Raiders. Wow. That was a fun game yesterday, huh? Las Vegas. Overtime victory. Oh, my God. Do you know how many people were about to jump off a building in that town?

Remember when you were talking about the standings and how Miami Dolbins were in first place? Who's in first place in the division now? Two weeks later? Any idea? Should we pull them up? I haven't looked. Should we pull them up and look at the two-in-one Buffalo Bills at the top? The AFC East.

Disgusting thing. What a game yesterday. Josh Allen was unstoppable. Five touchdowns total in the game. It's funny. No turnovers. When he scored that one time. the announcer said that is one big pile

of shit okay all right Josh Allen looking more and more like the MVP candidate he was last year what's going on in Las Vegas with this with the scum parade I think I broke like seven of my own rules just now

why you being a dickhead fool stop being a dick head a Las Vegas nurse was arrested this month it wasn't just a regular a nurse. No. It was a boy nurse. Male nurse. Yeah. Round them all up. Yep. Round them up. We got a problem here.

We got a problem here. This guy's not a doctor. This guy is not a doctor. What's he doing? What's he doing here? Ricardo Mederos, 31 was arrested September 1st, in charge of two counts of opening gross lewdness and one count of sexual coercion. That's French. Uh-la. A woman told police that while she was asleep in a room in Sunrise Hospital. Maduros, who was working as the charge nurse, performed a lewd act in her room.

According to the arrest report, she said she woke up to find Maduro's in her room and she saved semen on a tissue to provide evidence. The woman said Maduro threatened her and that she feared her pain medication would make her accusation not seem credible. What are the chances this poor woman they were giving her meth for her pain? What are the chances she gets the only non-gay male nurse as her nurse? Because it's got to be the only one. And this poor woman, she's like, oh, good, it's a male nurse. Maybe we'll be besties after this. Don't be like that.

Don't do that. Gay, straight, they're all criminals. They're all just criminals. True. All the male nurses are criminals. There was this band in Rochester called the Dung Beatles. Yeah. And they had a song called,

male nurse and the song went well he says he's not gay but I think he is and that was the song I'm sure it's pretty good pretty good song I was looking for it I wish I could find it I don't know if it still exists anywhere I have the CDs somewhere can we just not worry about sexual orientation

just focus on the fact that they're all sex criminal okay good point good point all nurses are sex maniacs people apparently he threatened her and told her not to tell him specifically he said he had people that could make sure that I quote didn't speak again and quote people on this floor will take care of it

if you say anything and he would say that I was blackmailing him for pain meds. Okay. I feel like maybe he's done that before. Yeah, sounds like it. So that didn't work for him this time. Again, people are saying you're blackmail again with this? Yeah, right. Maybe that works the first time

with the hospital administration, but I don't think it works the second time. Honestly, I wouldn't want to get on a nurse's bad side because they can cause some serious fucking damage as we've learned. Yeah, when they go for that fucking IV. Yeah, yeah, you never know what you're going to get. Stabby, stabby. Maduro's declined to speak to the police. Shocker. He's being held on

$3,000 bail and is expected to appear in court again on October 25th. If he posts bail. Now, $3,000 bail, hmm, it's the end of September when this story came out. Yeah. And that's, what is that, $300?

You got to pay a bail bondman? Right, 10%. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Seems pretty do. Yeah, it seems like it shouldn't be a problem. I mean, you're a medical professional. It's probably getting a lot of overtime. A medical professional quote, and quote. So there's that.

This story before I get into it, I just want to say. Yeah. We got to decide who the creep is in the story, but there's definitely at least one possibly two. Yes. So this was a, I had to read this a couple of times. Because it's not well written. To figure out what's going on. It's not well written.

It's not well written. And I had to try to make this sound coherent. A Maryland man assaulted his wife after she FaceTimed him While having sex with another man inside a car Parts outside of Best Western Hotel in Pennsylvania Um, hey babe, who are you calling right now? Oh, my husband, could you not do that right now? Could you wait to we're done fucking?

What if this guy... To FaceTime your husband? What if this guy was just into it? And he's like, woo, because they said that during these messages, she was egging him on. Yeah. What's like, hey, look at him. I love to do it.

She's just holding the phone up to her fucking gross vagina. I told you, two-thirds of Pennsylvania. Disgusting. So they're in Pennsylvania, but they're from Maryland. Right? So they just drove over the border to do this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. William Atkinson then asked a friend to drive him to the parking lot so he could confront the victim.

Yeah, because it's like, he's like, I know where you are. I'll just come there. Oh, the best Western. I love that bar. Right, right. Yes, exactly. He's on his way. Atkinson arrived at the parking lot

He struck the other man And then the unknown male Fled the scene Yeah, that's when it's time to go Yeah, he's like Hit the thing Thank you You dropping the ball

My bad You had the Jackie laugh waiting But you didn't have that Yeah Okay He then allegedly Punched and kicked his 32 year old spouse The beating left the woman

Who Atkins said was his wife Of three years Severely bruised and bleeding Heavily from her face so I hate spousal abuse Vinnie I do not endorse that in any way I don't think you ever hit a woman I don't think that's ever appropriate but man

this chick deserved everything she got yeah she was really asking for it she really wanted this to go down this way this was the only way it was going to go down police keys the Hackinson shoes one of which was covered in blood yeah so he's claiming I just open-handed slapped her a few times meanwhile her face is covered in blood

and so is his sneaker yeah so it's Pretty easy to put two together there. His just soggy Jordan. Okay, he does have joy. It's a soggy cowboy boot. Fucking Pennsylvania. The victim, who was, quote, extremely intoxicated, was uncooperative with the officers.

So it doesn't sound like she's easy to deal with. She's a problem. Yeah, she's up to no good. She really wanted to egg on her husband, and it worked. She got what she wanted. Got her ass kicked. A pistol was found in the Van Atkinson traveled,

and no magazine arounds were fired. A knife and stun gun were found at the scene belonged to his wife. Yeah, that was weird too. Yeah, so he had a gun in the car but with no bullets. She had a stun gun in a knife. Someone said they heard a gunshot?

Yeah. At the, so none of it makes sense. I don't know what's going on. Either way, aggravated assault and felony, reckless endangerment charges, and he's being held in jail for $30,000. What did he do? He's being held?

I mean, you should have just jerked off in her bedroom and then blackmailed her. Yeah, I guess that's the way to go. Yeah, he's scheduled for a preliminary hearing tomorrow. Okay, cool. That's a fun one. Now, we have never gone down this road, really. Yeah.

But along with male nurses, also all sexual predators, pastors and reverence and members of clergy. I think I've learned that from that movie's spotlight. Michael Keaton told me that they're all. What about the Boy Scouts? Don't you dare talk anything bad about the Boy Scouts? Oh, okay. I didn't realize. I thought maybe there was some

creepiness going on there. No, they're raising kids to be fine, outstanding men. Yes, it's filled with creeps. Vinny, Vinny, Vinny. It's filled with creeps. I'm kidding. You were a scout leader, weren't you?

No, fuck no. Do you think they let me in scouts? None of those uniforms fit. Jesus Christ. They were just like, I don't know what's my favorite drop right now. I was just there with trying to fit one of those shirts on.

it's just like the bandana didn't even go around my neck it was sad oh my yeah and that was the scout leader that was him and then the biggest problem asked to george the biggest problem was they're like we can get one your size and you said let's see that dick and that it was all downhill from there and then the other councilor went fuck yeah it sounds like a fun group jesus christ uh scoutmaster george okay so let's get to this uh Oklahoma city Oklahoma City, a boy told his parents that he had seen a man later identified as Reverend Michael Coghill, pastor of the Lake Homer Church of Christ, jogging in the area several times before. And then on Monday, he had touched him in a way that made him feel uncomfortable.

Okay. Well, he was at the bus stop. They're just in the neighborhood. He's out and about. It's daylight. It's daytime. We find out a little bit later that he does not live in this neighborhood. For some reason, this guy is just driving to this neighborhood and running around.

This, um, pastor. Michael Coghill. This is a story I love. And on Wednesday, the boy's father took matters into his own hands and headed to the bus stop with his son. Yes, so the son said, yeah, Monday this creepo touched me.

So the dad says he did what now? He parked his car where the child was visible, waited for Coghill to show up and recorded the alleged incident. Well, he was watching the school buzzer. stop. This fucking creepo runs by the kid, runs by him, ran past the bus stop where the children were waiting, turned around, came back and stopped where he touched the child. Another article clarified that he put his arm around the kid and said hello and then grabbed his ass. He like

fucking goose to this kid. Now, the sergeant who was in charge of his case said after recording the incident, the enraged dad confronting Coghill before pummeling him and leaving him with a fractured skull in a cracked left orbital socket. Yeah, there's an image of this guy after the dad had his way with him. He's

fucked. He's smashed pretty good. I love this father turns into the Incredible Hulk whenever his nine-year-old's getting molested. Like, could we use this for good somehow? Can we like do a deep fake video of Putin molesting his nine-year-old son or who else do we want to have to get their ass

kicked. Tom Hanks, uh, rap son. Can I make a confession? I don't know if I ever discussed this on the show. Judd Hanks. But when I was like in junior high, high school, I used to volunteer at a nursing home. Okay. And there was this old lady who was also a volunteer, not a resident, but she was just this old lady. Okay. And she grabbed my ass all the time. Really? Really. Hmm. And you felt good about that? No, I just never said anything. I was just like, what the fuck? You felt desired and desirable? I was just like, ugh. I didn't say a word. old lady we talking about like my wife sage how old are we talking okay it's a pretty old all right got it oh no oh you did it she doesn't watch i think no one trusts carl no one likes him

anymore he's a stink he's a scumback oh holy shit wow i think that jenny gets better with age she sure does sure does and that's the way the news goes. Hoochee Mama. Now, who. Teal Colman City Police arrived in the scene.

Cogles been charged the decent act to a child is detained at the detention center after the father was like, hey, you know, you see this guy with his face all fucked up?

Let me show you something. Here you go. And the cops, like, looked at the guy and then just pulled out their billy club slowly. Yeah. So this guy was not arrested.

The guy who pummeled the reverend here. No, he was fucking high fives. It's hilarious. He's a deputy now. It's hilarious. He's the same rank now as like the drugstiffy dogs. Right.

He's going around to schools and giving speeches in the auditorium now. He's a hero. Local hero. Look out for pastors, kids. If you see a pastor jogging. That's great. Run to a safe place. The police did not respond when they asked why the dad was not charged to the attack.

They were just like, yeah. Come on. Come on. We need to charge, but what we would have tried to accomplish? for what being cool we're charged for being the best dad ever exactly oh shit my dad did that

your dad beat the shit out of that old lady no he beat the shit out of one of my brother's teachers really yeah why was your brother getting molested no the guy like I guess pushed him into a locker or something what was your brother up to you though do you deserve it yeah my brother always deserves that I've talked about him on the show yeah but yeah he got my dad got arrested for it he went into the school it like walked into the class that could I talk to you outside of beat him up in that's amazing yeah he was a fucking badass my father can i do a show with him he sounds way cooler

long dead my man damn it long dead my man he would be the guy to do a show with he sounds interesting you're telling me cut from a different kind of cloth yeah everybody didn't wear wrestling clothes every day oh man he'd knife-eds chop me if you ever saw this jacket irving texas yes a man has been charged with killied his girlfriend's two-year-old son in suburban dallas after confessing to hitting the boy with his fist This guy, Patrick Michael, a two-year-old. This is pretty brutal. He, Patrick Michael, a two-year-old to death.

Correct. They got a call on Tuesday morning. They said that there was an unconscious person inside of an apartment. An autopsy found blunt-forced trauma injuries to the child's body, including his head. I've been accused of punching down before, but never to this degree. This seems like a bad idea. I need a fucking rim shot. I do tell jokes.

Some better. than others. I think what you meant to say was, uh, nailed it. All right. Nailed it. Now, he.

And the show has reached a new low. You, my friend, have committed a crime. That's the best drop. You think you can get away with that without having legal, legal ramifications? You're out of your fucking mind. Thanks a lot, Carl.

Okay. So he confessed to hitting the child several times. Yes. Because... I wish we had a drum roll. Because the child wiped feces on him. Yes. A two-year-old wiped poo on him.

So this could have been like the next Nick Bate. I'm sorry, I bring him up so much today. But this kid was obsessed with fecal matter. No, it was a two-year-old. He's running it all over the place. He was a two-year-old, you psycho. He's drawing photos. He's drawing pictures on the wall with his shit.

No. He was asking for it. No. No? The charges off credit to capital murder. And his bond is set at $500,000. I know that when you are a child molester and you go to prison, they don't treat you real nice. How do you think they're going to treat this guy?

Do you think this guy's going to get daily ass beatings? No. I think they're like, he wiped shit on you? You whooped his ass, right? Like, they're going to be fucking... I don't think so. I think it. year old is probably

a little rough even for these guys in prison, but I could be wrong. You're probably right. I could be wrong. Well, that is the end of the Scum parade for this week. That was a lot of fun, huh, Carl? Wow, did we have fun today. I laughed a lot today. Probably should not have. Probably should not

have been laughing as hard as I did. That's what the show's all about, buddy. It's by creeps, uh, four creeps. It's, there's creeps involved. There's creepy people watching and listening and right this is why i don't do the tagline at the beginning yeah you know what i want you to start doing in the beginning what's that could you do the plugs tell everybody where to find everything go

ahead all right if you want to reach out to us and tell us what a great job we're doing and tell viny that he's fat no you can do that compliments only by uh the creep off at gmail dot com is the creepoff pot at gmail dot com that's it i don't know any of these things i look at it up I don't even know. What's our Twitter handle? Just go to the creepoff. Go to the creepoff.com and get all the links. Oh, that's what I like to say. Go to who are these.com, the creepoff.

No, you got it out wrong. That's where you get all the links, all the things that you need. Go to Patreon.com backslash the creepoff. There's going to be a bonus episode we decided Thursday afternoon, right, Carl? Is that what our plan still? Oh, we're doing Thursday this week? Is that, that still work? What, uh, yeah, I think so.

We're doing, we're just going to get it out of the way that people want it. There is some new developments in the Chris Chan case. Oh, we are doing Chris Chan more, more, Chris Chan. There is some correspondence that have come out from Chris in prison. And there's a whole angle of this that we did not cover. So we're going to do that. And that'll be Chris Chan, part two, coming up Thursday afternoon on Patreon only. So ladies and gentlemen, with that, it's nice to be important.

It's more important to be nice. Michael Polpuck has the tape. Gagia! Oh, boy. May your enemies be cursed in your podcast adventures.