The Creep Off - Episode 89: Creepsgiving 2: No Thanks

Episode Date: November 23, 2021

This week Karl and Vinnie celebrate the second annual Creepsgiving by nominating the creepiest perpetrators of some of turkey day's biggest atrocities: In the Scum Parade we learn that even bad pizza is pizza, we meet a canine loving Alabama man & a booze blaming squatter. Have a great Thanksgiving! 

Happy creepsgiving, Carl Hey, is it creepsgiving already? Gosh, the time flies when you're having a good time. Another year went by. You know, you're lucky I'm fucking talking to you. What did I do? I hear you're stepping out on me with other fat Italians. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I have new fat Italian friends now.

Can I come? Yeah, of course. Yes. Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for kids. some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want.

Sensation, horror, shock. I'm going to deliver the goods because I'm alive and I'm not backing down. Gookoo. Gookoo. Happy, happy turkey day, hunger pains will go away. When you'll hear a pilgrim stay, it's happy turkey. It's Happy Turkey Day Happy Happy Turkey Day

Let's all eat tea in the airway As we're stealing Cape Cod Day On Happy Turkey Day The Disgusting Degusting Vomit-inducing thing Ola Creepos, welcome to

a fantastic edition of your favorite true crime podcast. The show about creeps, buy creeps, for you creeps. It's the creep off. I am your host. The Tower of Power, too sweet to be sour. The people's champion.

Vittin, Bonneta! And I also have my co-host here with me. That is one big pile of shit. It's hot. Cucka Carr. Smooth as always, Vini. What is happening, my friend?

Happy Thanksgiving. I just realized this is like your favorite week of the year, isn't it? It is the best holiday. Yes. Because I still have... Oh, you don't have to explain it. We know why.

I mean, go ahead, please. Well, no, man. I've had an appetizer of Halloween candy for a whole month. Right. And now I get to have a really big dinner. It's amazing. It's there to make you more hungry. Agreed, buddy.

Yeah. So we are going to be celebrating Creepsgiving again this year. Beautiful. Before we do that, I want to point something out. And I guess maybe you've communicated this, but I want to make it official. We've been having some technology issues. the past few weeks where our streams go down in the middle of the stream

and then we try to connect to a new stream and everyone gets annoyed and it's annoying and we've had some things where we've had different times a day that we're going you have fixed the computer issues I mean I don't want to jinx it but it seems like you've fixed the computer issues right

yes so very quick thing we share this computer with my other show the Carlson cast and I have different people that run the board out here during that show and they update some stuff that was in the background that I did not know that they did because usually they're dip shits is what you're trying to say you got a bunch of dipshits over there working no but I looked at everything involved with our broadcasting software yeah everything involved with like windows itself because windows had to run an update yep and I'm like what the fuck could this be so basically our software was trying to run the stream and render everything at the same time and it was just destroying the CPU and the video card was not connecting to the process. So it was causing everything to crash.

Sorry, everybody. So now that we've solved that issue, you can expect consistent shows. Mondays at noon Eastern that actually stay online the entire time the show is going, which is great for me because I don't like doing two shows. We've never really done two shows. That last Hall of Fame episode, holy shit. I was like, all right, that was a great show. But you're like, nope, none of it recorded.

It's time again. Fuck. I felt bad about that. That's all right. It was a good episode, though. It came out good. It did. It's on the Patreon right now.

You can listen to it. We talked about Dan Schneider and his dirty, dirty foot fetish. Hall of Famer, Dan Snyder, who created more kid TV shows than anyone in the history of Hollywood. So that's creepy right there. Before we get too far into the proceedings here, we need to talk about last week. Let's talk about last week's show. Let's do the quick recap from our pal Tucker Dixon. Okay.

Hey, everyone. Tucker Dixon here with your weekly recap. Last week's show came with good news for everyone here. Just because you die a virgin doesn't mean you have to stay that way. That's right, it was Undertaker Week. And spoiler warning, they both fucked the corpses. Vinnie's Creep was a woman who was attracted to a very certain type of man. And I'm going to let her describe her type with her very own poem.

Roses are red. Your face is blue. That makes me as wet as the morning do. Whereas most of us can't wait to get home to have a stiff one, Carl's creep couldn't wait to get to work for the same reason. his work life reminded me of my ex-girlfriend. One day, a crack whore. The next day, a cold, stiff woman who is unresponsive to my vigorous thrusting.

I mean his vigorous thrusting. That's all I got for this week. So just remember, what happens on the embalming table stays on the embalming table. Tucker, out. Well, Carl, without any further ado, let's discuss the results. I had to have won. Kenneth Douglas fucked a hundred corpses, so I could only imagine. Your crackhead was no match.

What? For Mike Creek, Karen. Oh, I got 49% of the vote to 51% of the vote for Vinning. So close. I feel good about it. I need the Couss to come through for me here, Pellas. True believers. I believe what they call this, Carl, is another.

Vinhausen for the Winhausen. Thank you to all of my true believers for helping me beat Carl again. Thank you. Congratulations, Vinny. Thank you. Thank you. Now, Carl, I believe that means I have to go forward. first today. What a just pain

that's going to be. Oh, God, I hope it's not another marathon of a story that you've come here with today. I've got pages, you motherfucker, I got pages. All right, I'm going to set the snooze on my phone for 20 minutes from now. I'll see you all then. Can you do me a favor and ring that bell carl?

My creep today was a very attractive lady. Ooh, with the lady. Her name was Omima Nelson. Interesting name. She was born in Egypt Carl. Oh, I was going to say, either they made a syrup named after her or she's from the Middle East. Okay. Yeah. Middle East. Okay. B. Final answer. Got it. Now, here's a picture, Carl. Mm-hmm. Early, we're talking 1991 is the year. And she hadn't

cut her hair since 62, it looks like. That's the look. Yeah. Oh, my God. So apparently she's quite the stunner for them because she was working part-time as a model, part-time as a nanny. She had a thing for Sugar Daddy. Carl. You could be a part-time model. But you wouldn't be able to quit your other job. Part-time model. So she basically was working these bullshit like attractive girl jobs, the nanny, the housekeeper,

whatever she could do to find money. But she also would go out and find dudes and then rob them at gunpoint and take stuff from them. Pretty much. I like how you said hot girl jobs are being a nanny and a housekeeper. Yeah. I've Seed housekeeper Sviddy. It's not a hot girl job.

You never seen mine. Either way, she's basically a soft-law. Your wife is very attractive. She's robbing people. Yes. But she also went even further. She was also a little bit of a shoplifter. This came out later.

They found out that not only did she move in quickly with sugar daddies than ending the relationship and stealing valuables from them, Omaima had also been arrested for shoplifting and pharmacies. On one occasion, in a local department. store. She's confronted by two female security guards. They're like, we know you're stealing. And it wasn't one of those sexy videos where they do the cavity

searches. And it wasn't one of those videos from San Francisco where they just let you walk out with $1,000 with a merchandise. Nope. I would rather watch this video. The DA claimed later at her trial that we're going to talk about that she bit the breast almost off. What an asshole!

Of one of the security guards that tried to stop her. And then she went for the crotch on the other one and managed to Fuck are you doing? I mean, we're talking like, gnawing, I'll bite you. She's a psycho. Yeah, she was going for the dudes, the lady's crotch, and she's like, get the fuck off of me. And they let her run away into the fucking night.

They let her walk like an Egyptian into the night. Into the ether. Now, she managed to get away. She ended up being apprehended. After a number of short-term relationships, though, she ended up in Orange County, California. She was scraping by. Mm-hmm. And then she, one day-

Orange County is not a place where you're scrimed. great buy, by the way. Isn't that like one of the richest places on earth? She found herself a quite the interesting gentleman, Carl, playing pool at a bar. She liked older men, apparently. And the senior deputy district attorney in the case said that this guy, Bill Nelson, had a red corvette, red cowboy boots. He was kind of a flamboyant, large belt buckle kind of a guy.

Sweet. He owned a cattle ranch in Texas. A large belt buckle kind of a guy. That's how he was described. That's a good way to describe someone. Like, that paints the entire picture right there. Yeah. Oh, mama.

Yeah, it's like the wealthy Texan and the Simpsons. A hundred percent. And he had some money. He had five kids. He had a granddaughter who's 17. She's 22. Okay. They hit it off, Carl.

Of course. How long would you like to guess before they got married? Oh, let's see. What was the story last week? It was like 14 days it took before the young, longer before the young hot chick married the old rich guy three weeks three weeks okay that's how you know it's love they got married in california they went on a road trip to go visit his kids so he could show off his new wife okay well yeah that should be this guy's kid and just like

meh meh look who i brought home kids is that our long-lost sister it's obama obama's your new mama yep so the holidays are coming up And that leads us to Thanksgiving weekend. Okay. November 28th, 1991. Everyone thought everything was good. Ninety one? 1999.

Oh, okay. I thought he said 81 before. No, 1991. Okay. Everything was fine to everybody. They thought the two lovebirds are having a nice holiday. Well, December 1st, shockingly. Wait, that's not Thanksgiving.

Please. Let me do my presentation. God damn it. Oh, I think you're cheating, but okay. Don't interrupt me, cunt! Okay. A man named Jose who had dated Omima before she married Bill finds her at his doorstep, claiming that her husband had raped her, beat her, forced her into days of bondage,

and she told Jose that she got one of her arms loose and hit him with the lamp so hard that she had killed him. She also helped Jose, asked her if she could, she said, Jose, can you please help me get rid of the body? Now, he goes, see, see, let me get. get my shoes. What he did was he went to the other room. See, see, let me get my shoes. He fucking called the cops. He's like, Ola!

Ola, Polizio. Policia. She offered him 75 granded two motorcycles. Okay. To help her get rid of the body. He calls the cops. The cops show up within minutes. I think I would have helped her get rid of the body

for that. That sounds pretty good. She said, she denies everything to the cops. She says nothing. I don't know anything about this. He's crazy. Bill's in Florida on a business trip. Yep. Whole story.

Smart. Well, it was smart, but then they decided to go to her checker car for drugs or guns or anything. Because, you know, she came over here, confessed to a murder. Well, that's what cops like to do, by the way, too. That's their favorite fucking thing to do is find shit. She went over to Jose's in the Red Corvette. Okay. And when they started looking through it, they found a bag at the passenger seat.

And it contained human organs, Carl. Oh, so not Coke. Not cocaine. No, no, no, no. The coroner's investigator that responded to the scene noted some characteristics to the organ saying, yeah, you see those little black spots there on the lung? That's carbon from smoking. They were just like, yeah, we think this is an older gentleman's lungs. So they go to the house.

They found human hands in frying pans. Okay. Wait, in frying pans are currently? Yes. Just sending on the stove. Two human hands and two separate frying pans. cooked in with white turkey meat Mm-hmm

She had fried the severed hands With vegetable oil To reportedly try to get the fingerprints off Okay Even more body parts were found In the freezer at the home One of the cops reminisced There were when I looked at the refrigerator

There were hot dogs There were carrots And in the back was Greens, beans, potatoes, tomatoes, tomatoes, lab ram and don't I got greens, beans, potatoes, tomatoes, lamb, lamb, and dog And a human head. That's it.

The human head of Mr. Nelson was in the back, and apparently she had tried to cook it in a deep fat friar for some reason. Oh, like one of those ones you use with the whole turkey. Yeah, man, he's a Texan. You know he's got a big one. Yeah, okay. That's fun. She's got a lot of explaining to do at this point to the police.

Nope, not at all. This is an opening closed case. She claims, at this point, he kidnapped me, he was holding me, he was butt raping me. He was just doing terrible things to be. In this bedroom he strapped me down. So the police go into the bedroom where she claimed that this had happened. And they

immediately noticed that the bedposts were broken and that the bed and box springs were soaked with blood. Okay. Now, they also looked at Bill's legs, which apparently were chopped off at sitting on the fucking kitchen counter. Sure. And they saw that around the ankles, there was lots of marks

that suggested that maybe Bill was the one that was tied up. Mm-hmm. Okay. So role playing. Your turn, my turn. I get it. I understand. After the autopsy, they discovered that he died from 25 wounds to the head. Now, those wounds were inflicted by an iron that they found that was broken.

Yeah. Like an old school cast metal iron. Yeah, it was no match with that head. It was no fucking match for that head. Also, she stabbed him in the chest multiple times with kitchen shears before she fucking dismembered him and started cooking. How many times? How many times did she kill this guy? Exactly.

It sounds like many times for many days. Well, she was very upset about the rape. That apparently, after the rape kit and all that shit, and yeah, there was no evidence of anything. There's that. And according to the DA, the body had been cut with such precision

that the coroner's office wondered if she had done this to other people. Like, apparently she was quite good at it. Okay. Now, they had to weigh out the remains, Carl. He was a 234-pound guy. They discovered that he was 80 to 100. hundred pounds lighter. I've never heard of this.

What are you talking about? They took all of the remains of this guy. The organs that they had everything and they weighed it. Why? I don't know. What the fuck do I know? They take it to like a truck weighing station and just plop everything they had on there? Let me answer your question.

Please. How should I know? I'm retarded. Good answer. Thanks. He was 80 to 100 pounds lighter. Okay. And they tried to figure out where the fuck could this meat have gone.

Yeah. According to the neighbors, they said that they heard the garbage disposal running the whole weekend until it seemed to have broken. Only a few hours before Jose found Omima on his doorstep. So she was just going to take her time. She's cooking up parts of this guy. And she's taking her time stuffing him down the disposal, watching fucking Charlie Brown's Christmas, watching the Macy's Day parade. And this fucking guy is dead, bloodied all over the fucking house. Even more troubling.

A psychiatrist had a conversation with her after she was arrested. Yeah. And she admitted to cooking his ribs in barbecue sauce. And she said that she tasted them. Oh. So she admitted to cannibalizing her husband. Not in a Thanksgiving way, which I thought would be weird. Like some cranberry sauce, some fucking stuffing.

Yeah. No, she went fucking like Texas barbecue is what we had here. Now, her trial, they found the way he wanted to go. she actually consulted the will and said all right for you he's such a good husband the jury found her guilty of second degree murder is 27 years to life that's my creep oh my uh nelson all right well that's a fun story there that is a vile story and i refrain from vomit sound effects you're welcome wow you got real butt hurt about that i fucking hate the people got all upset about sound it's a joke can um vini not handling criticism well be on the bingo card Please. Can we get that added, Tucker? Thank you. Byron David Smith is my creep this week. BDS?

Yeah, BDS, a retired security engineering officer with the U.S. State Department had dealt with his Little Falls, Minnesota home, being burglarized several times in as many months. He installed an alarm system, complete with video cameras aimed at several areas around his house. Then on Thanksgiving Day in 2012, he sat in his basement with a rifle and waited. oh no smith moved his truck from the driveway prior to the break and to make it appear as if he weren't home then an hour later two teens and hoodies can be seen by the video surveillance casing the place before entering the property the teens were haley elaine kiffer 18 years old and her cousin nicholas brady 17 years old so there are 17 and 18 year old just breaking into

houses both of whom were unarmed all right smith had suspected kiffer and and Brady, of having been responsible for at least some of the earlier break-ins, and they were later suspected of robbery of a retired school teacher that occurred earlier that day on Thanksgiving. Let me give you the recap here. The teens had no idea he was armed and waiting for intruders from his chair in his basement with an audio recorder set up on the bookshelf. What follows are excerpts from Smith's actual recording,

which served as a key piece of evidence in his murder conviction. That's right, Vinnie. he audio recorded this all happening. He wants to be found innocent because, you know, it's a self-defense. People are breaking into his house. And I have, and this is not a joke. I do this as a joke set up a lot,

but I have the actual audio. This guy shooting the intruders. I swear to God, if I hear you, if somebody's Sam right now, I'm coming in there. I promise you, this is real. And there is a silencer on his rifle. Listen to this. That's Nicholas breaking the glass.

into the house and then Nicholas comes downstairs. Notice he's whispering. That's because the cousin, Haley, is upstairs and she didn't hear this. She doesn't know this just happened. So he sees that this as a kid. He clearly sees his own-armed kid.

Oh, yeah. Shot him three times. You just heard that. The kid was obviously down, and he shot him again, making sure he was dead. Next here comes his cousin Haley coming down the stairs. Oh, sorry about that. Oh, my God. You're dying.

bitch cute I'm sure she thought she was a real pro I'm sure she thought she was a real pro he says after murdering her are you off your fucking meds or something this is this is some of the craziest audio we've ever played out here so then this guy Carl this guy was a real jerk yeah you think so then he starts talking into his audio recorder and this all being captured and was later played during his trial. I did not like that audio, Carl.

Brutal. 18-year-old girl. I feel a little bit safer. I'm totally safe. I'm still shaking a bit, but a little bit safer. That's the bloodlust. He feels a little bit safer. He refuses to live in fear.

And then he goes on to explain why he doesn't care about killing these intruders. they weren't human I don't see them as human I see them as vermin this bitch was going to go through her life spoiling things for other people

phoebe robin drug use so basically he's calling them vermin and saying that it's not just them breaking into his house today these people are going to live a life of crime and cause lots of problems for lots of people. You know, Weege in the chat

made a good point. He said he's done for recording it, but that doesn't make him a creep. No. No, definitely not. I mean, honest to God, Carl. Your thing is funny? Are you laughing?

Don't fucking laugh again. That's terrible. This whole thing is awful. Well, he keeps talking. That audio is horrible. This audio is brutal. He keeps talking, too. It's all fun, cool,

exciting, and highly profitable. I'm telling somebody I give a damn who she is So basically He's saying Now this, he's standing over these dead bodies And he's saying It's all funny a game

Get something good It's all that game Yeah A little penny wise All fun in games I'm in He thinks he's a good person Oh no

He's doing the right thing here Vinny I try to be a good person I credit to what I should, be friendly to other people, help them when I can. Try to be a good citizen, not cheap people, be fair. And because I try to be a decent person, they think I'm a fancy, I'm a sucker, they think I'm there for them to take advantage of. is that the reward for being a good person so he thinks he's such a great guy that are taking advantage of him he's just a sucker so when did the cops show up well that's actually interesting i got one more audio clip and um this is where he explains the reason why he had to kill them now these are unarmed teenagers coming into his house but he explains what would have happened if he had just called the police and had them arrested and if i gather enough evidence they might be prosecuted. If they're prosecuted, it might go to court. If it goes to court, they might be found guilty. If they're found guilty, they might spend six months, two years

in jail, and then they're out, and they need money worse than ever, and they're filled with revenge. I cannot live a life like that. so so you thought this whole thing out huh sir this is obviously premeditated oh Jesus incredibly despite the two bodies

being in his house these two dead bodies Smith didn't call the police until the next day stating he didn't want to bother them because of the Thanksgiving holiday you know when they showed up I have audio of the police

showing up to the house this is how he greeted them he was blasting music I got her boys that bitch is down He's got to be... What a fucking lunatic! His defense throughout the investigation and his trial was based on the Castle Doctrine,

a 17th century English common law that holds that individuals have the right to defend their property against a trespasser. In most states in America, this includes an individual's right to defend a home or vehicle against any perceived threat without the need to retreat first. This is like sovereign citizen bullshit, yeah? Well, it's kind of, yeah. I mean, it's self-defense. okay i'm just saying though like this is kind of a crazy fucking thing to go in court with right i mean people have gotten away with it you think about um zimmerman george zimmerman yeah that was his defense and he wasn't even protecting his property he was just protecting himself yeah but he was

also like in an altercation with someone correct correct this person's in his house this person snuck up behind a kid and fucking shot him like he was fucking playing buck hunter in the 2012 shootings of kiffer and brady smith showed a similar resolve to meet out what he saw as justice. If you're trying to shoot somebody and they laugh at you, you go again. He said as justification for the additional shots fired on Kiffer after she had already been incapacitated.

At Smith's trial, the jury considered the number of shots fired as excessive even under the Castle doctrine. They also believe that... Oh, okay. Maybe you should have done that. They also believe that Smith moving his truck to give his home the appearance

of being abandoned and thus luring the burgers to his property counted as premeditation. How about the audio confession of premeditation? He thought he was going to get away with this. Yeah, so in April 2014, Smith was convicted of four counts of murder and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. One of the jurors would later say that it had been the audio tapes that had sealed the verdict for the jury. Quote, we were dealing with a deranged individual, the juror said, this guy did not do himself any favors by creepily whispering that these people are verbal.

I think you just didn't understand the assignment here, Carl. What's that? This is the creep off, not the Patriot off, okay? Oh, if you believe in the written house verdict that you need to vote for Carl. A vote for Carl to vote for Kyle. This week's the creep off. You know, I did shows this weekend. Yeah.

I never ever discussed shit, but Mark and Bolino and I were chatting and a written house joke was birthed from the chat. Okay. And I can never do it again. Right. It was topical. Yeah, it was topical. But it was, I was at a bar.

They had a drink. It was called the Rittenhouse. It was a chaser followed by three shots. That's good. That was Mark's joke. And I tagged. I go, yeah, I thought that was very distasteful. I didn't want that.

I had the bald one. It's a single shot. It's a single double. Wow. All right. Yeah. Some topical humor. Vinny. Good stuff. All right, so vote for Carl. Byron David Smith is my creep for creepiest

Thanksgiving cluster fuck, whatever it is. Well, Carl, again, my creep, cannibalized her husband. Yeah, no, we heard. Your story's over. She tried to rip a woman's titty off with their teeth and trying to call another one. That wasn't on Thanksgiving. Okay, fair enough. All right. We get any voicemails this week? Do we have a sponsor for our voice? Certainly do. Sweet. A voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse. You've heard of the Turducken. Now try Syracuse's own Tourette Awesome.

See you in Sarathe. That's good. That's a good joke. McBride. Well done, McBride. I mean, the voice of Syracuse. Ladies and gentlemen, let's get into some voice sales. This one I'm actually with this person on.

I think you are a piece of shit, Carl. Hey, I'm a car car cullery, but I'm seriously reconsidering that. This doesn't do its fucking consequences. And the new fucking stuttering John book thing on his fucking, wow, I don't know how to see. Listen, he's reviewing the fucking book. I don't think he spun the wheel and got the book. He's doing it before so we can do the audio book and not for written report. He's ruining the same thing of this fucking show.

And he's not even sorry about it. He doesn't care. I told producer Chris about this theory that I'm doing the audio. book just to get out of doing this consequence. You're not getting out of fucking shit. And he actually offered to write the book report for me. So this is great. Hopefully the next time I spin the wheel, that's when I land down. Yeah, you don't think I know

it was him? Just the fucking greasy hair stains, flop sweat all over the fucking thing. All right, we're not, he's not here to defend himself. All right, this is a voicemail that came in through the WATP voicemail. Oh, you motherfucker. This is for the creep

off. And the reason I'm calling this number is because you're the biggest fucking creep out there. Let me tell you why. Okay. Okay. I signed up to be a Patrione. Hooray, good for me. Thank you.

Until I get about three bonus episodes in. And instead of Googling lyrics, you, you son of a bitch, play Alanis Morissette. Oh. Making it to where I, 38 years old, having never paid to listen to Alanis Morissette, have officially been tricked into it. And there's thousands of other people that you tricked into paying for Alanis Morissette material. This morning, I wake up, instead of it, going for cereal or a nice plate of eggs

I'm thinking to myself I think a nice hard cock sounds good right now Let's see what that does Oh no more said no underlying issues there whatsoever You know You fucking globalist you've officially Turned all the throbs gay

Okay And that's why you're a big fucking creepy son of a bitch What he said 38 fucking years and you ruined my street All right sorry about that sir I didn't even know what the lyrics were I thought I did And I was incorrect

Well I have one more voice smell. But ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to remind you again, it's been a while since we've discussed in the show. Forty-five, 45 seconds. 45 seconds. Topps. Not average. Tops 45 seconds. 20 seconds is better. Hey, Vinny. Hey, Carl, Joel Pell, BP.

This is the first time I'm ever going to vote. I've listened to a lot, but this time I actually voted. You see, the chick is creepier. They both fucked corpses, but what makes the chick the biggest creep is the fact that She is a classic female, becomes emotionally attached to these corpses, and fucking stalks them beyond the grave. She goes to their fucking funeral. Probably, probably, just because this is what I know about chick, she's probably going to the funerals to make sure they're not cheating on her.

She's a fucking creep. She can't just fuck them and leave them. She has to fucking follow them around and be in every aspect of their life. even after they're done with the relationship. It's fucking weird. Good point. Shit, I don't know how to hang up on my wife's car. Here we go.

So, yeah, I lost by four votes, but God, I thought I deserved it. Now that you made that point, it's pretty good. I got one more. Yeah, you did better than you deserve. I think so. I have one more voicemail for you. This is for you, Vinny. Oh, great.

Hey, Carl. This is a message for the creep off. I'm looking at a live stream, a message from the third. one from Vinnie. I can't stop thinking about how he looks like those characterizations, the drawings that they do at the beach.

And it's, I can't stop thinking about it. All right. Call me back or go fuck yourself or something. A caricature is what the word you're looking for, sir. But it looks like an exaggerate caricature in real life. I do have a giant potato hat. I really do.

In real life, like if you went up to a caricature, artist he'd be like oh i guess i'm just doing a portrait today it's fine let me paint you like one of my french girls uh all right that was mean all right and funny agreed are you ready for a skump braid i'm gonna hit the music today car you do it buddy driving chid and dread oh pitos dittling two baggerers rancashers do a rinketing ray asshats gather some parade

scum parade on the creeps oh some parade oh some parade Carla and Vinny are back Oh It's a good tune

Love it Draper Utah Carl We got a couple of creeps in this story Okay The Police Department has identified the suspect as 32-year-old Paul Francasso. Yeah. Police say two men entered a Papa Johns and Draper on Sunday evening around 7 p.m.

They'd come to pick up a pizza order. They had ordered ahead of time over the phone. Good, yeah. That's how you're supposed to do it. Yep. Employees explained their system was down and the order had not been processed. Hmm. What do you fucking mean the order has been processed?

I called you on the phone. It's a telephone call. You can't say to the guy over there make the fucking pizza? Right. There's other ways to communicate this information. Yeah, I mean, come on. So, Steve Jobs, he didn't accept excuses. Did you know that?

That was one of his, um, his styles. I don't know how long I would have lasted working for Mr. Jobs. Managing a company. He thinks that employees should be expected to find solutions wherever there was an issue that came up. These lazy assholes can't make a pizza because the computer systems down. Do computers make pizzas, Vinny? Not to my knowledge, Carl. If they did, I'd own one.

A pizza computer? Fuck, yes. Tu-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-peperoni, please. Jesus Christ. I worked with a guy. Oh, be heaven. This is no lie. He had this invention.

He was trying to get off the ground that actually baked a pizza in a vending machine. So you'd go up to the vending machine. You'd order your toppings and everything like that. And it would actually bring the dough down and it would bring all the toppings and it would cook the thing. and I think it took like three or four minutes and then we'd just pop out for it. See? Pretty good idea, huh?

I put one in here. Pretty good adventure. Is there a prototype? Is there what I could tell? There was a prototype. It was the worst pizza I've ever eaten. It was so bad. Even bad pizza's pizza, Carl.

Anyway, so what else with this story? Wow. The two men became very agitated at this, obviously. Yeah. They began, you know, saying, hey, you fucking idiots. They swore him in a little bit. At least give me some of that garlic sauce. That fucking garlic sauce is amazing.

Just fucking dip in. Yeah. Fucking lick your fingers. When the two men were asked to leave. You got too excited about that. They refused. They're like, where is my fucking pizza that I ordered? The computer's down, me.

The suspects eventually left but returned to the store around 8.45 p.m. that same night. Five to six gunshots were shot towards the store's front entrance. One victim recalled seeing the glass shatter in front of him while ducking on the floor and crawling back for safety. And other victims sustained cuts on his face from exploding glass. The victim's told police that the suspect was riding a blue and white dirt bike when he fled the scene. Now, I'm just going to say, if you're going to pick up your pizza, take a car, don't take a dirt bike. Well, when he went back, he wasn't going to get pizza. What he was doing, Vinny, was what the boss should have been doing all along, which is disciplining these employees correctly.

Correct. This is like Kyle Rittenhouse all over again because he had to be the police. Exactly like Kyle Rittenhouse. Kyle Rittenhouse had to be the police. there was a power vacuum and these managers aren't managing their employees and now there's a management vacuum and now the customers have to go

and discipline these employees. Good for them. Well, they're not going to have that excuse again, are they? Oh, we couldn't make the pizza. Next time they'll figure it out. Fun story. About 10 minutes later, police drove by a home with an open garage where two men and a dirt bike to match the victim's description. That's really stupid.

Police were able to identify the suspects using surveillance footage and finding gunshot residue on the side. Suspect's hands matching clothing and handgun and the dirt bike were found at the residence. Was it one of those Italian living rooms where it's got the screen up in front and they got couches and TVs in there? That's what I'm picturing because why else would you have your garage open with the vehicle that you just escaped from a crime scene readily visible?

Can you imagine? Like they're getting dragged away by the cuffs and like the old Italian grandpa's down. He goes, where's my chakarote? Shaccaroni's the funniest pizza. There is no funnier pizza than a chakaroni pizza. It used to be pineapple pizza. That was the punchline. Now it's a chacaroni, baby.

It's always a chacaroni. All right. So a 23-year-old man was arrested Wednesday in Japan. God, yeah. Yeah, for punching his one-month-old daughter to death. How small of a dick do you have to have to get into a fight with a wonderful? month old girl. Well, he was having a rough day. And he said he hit her because she would not stop crying. And he was suffering from stress. What was this guy's name? Fucking

Natsuki Nakashima. Ooh, that sounds good. I'll have two of those, please. That's delicious right there. A Matsuki Nakashima? Did you fucking eat it? Your mission fucking prejudice. Good stuff. Jeez Louise. All right. So, this is a fucked up story. The girl was taken to the hospital, pronounced dead. They said they investigated it. When the ambulance arrived, they said she wasn't breathing in the hospital handling the case notified police of the possibility of child abuse. What's the appropriate age that a girl needs to be in order to beat her up in Japan? Do you know? You have to marry them first, Carl. I'm old

fashion like that. You have to marry them first. I mean, it's still family, though, technically. The man lived with his wife and four other children at the time of the incident. Yeah. That Japanese guy had it had it up to here. Couldn't take it anymore. Do you think he did like the fucking Bruce Lee one inch punch for the one month old? Yes. That's all it takes. It's just like, you know, your fingers late the way.

It's just one good fucking jab. All right. Well, in a couple of weeks, guess where I'm going, Carl? Alabama man. I'm gonna be Alabama bound. An Alabama man has been arrested on charges that he had sex with two dogs, Carl. two dogs yes one's not good enough for alabama man well apparently one's going to have to be because after having sex with one of the dogs he killed it okay ronald clayton gilbert the third

32 years old like this is an old man crime this is like a guy who's been on a farm forever right this isn't something the 32 year old does well i mean if you do meth for enough time it will age you pretty quickly that is accurate he's charged with beastiality and aggravated animal abuse. According to court records, the alleged animal assaults happened between January 2020 and November 2021. On the bestiality charge, Gilbert is accused of having sexual intercourse with two different dogs. In the one instance, charging documents that, Gilbert then took one of the dogs out into the woods and kicked the dog to death. Which part of this is illegal in Alabama? All of it. Oh, okay. I wasn't sure. Hey, you know that if he had filmed that, it would have been called

a rough film. The Patrick Michael joke. All right It's a Patrick Michael joke I hope it is So Ha-cha-cha So we Doing material today

Fuck the dog And they kicked it to death What was it like Using teeth During oral or something What do they do to deserve us? I don't know I was probably thinking for itself

Dumb dog The act led to an aggravated Animal abuse charge Gilbert was booked into the county jail It remains held on Bonset for $10,000 You can pool You can drink some more Alabama

His attorney did not respond to a request for comment, but district attorney Michael Jackson said more arrests in this case are expected. I want to be just like Alabama. I think that this guy was fucking both of these dogs, and one of the dogs got jealous of the other dog, and he had to teach at a lesson. Yeah. That's my guess. I don't know, man. Either way. The dog was like a-

I don't have sex of animals. Be nice to animals. Be nice to animals. Please. That's the one thing. Carl and I could be jaded about anything else. But don't... I mean, we had a guy fucking murder his girlfriend and chop chunks off of her back and we're fine. Don't be mean to animals. No, my least favorite thing to this day is the guy who set those kittens on fire. That's my least favorite thing to this day. How about the guy who did the thing where he put him in the vacuum sealer? I don't know. Let's not talk about it.

Okay. Our next creep is a real fucking gem. Ooh. Craig Anthony Wheatman. Yeah. Well, this is a story here. He confessed to breaking into a 92-year-old woman's Burton Street home in Sydney, Australia. Okay.

And sexually assaulting her. In an incident that left the woman's family and the police even fucking, like, shaken. Yeah, turn her to dust. Third thrust in. You do it, man. Fucking a 92-year-old corpse And then the guy just pulls out a piece of paper Turns out it's his bucket list and he just crosses it off

Fucked a woman to death Done I'd literally rather fuck a dead 22-year-old Than an alive 92-year-old I'm not even joking I mean it depends on how long the body's been there But you know what I mean This guy is 29

Yeah And he used a ladder to enter the woman's home through her bathroom window at about 11.30 p.m. Came in through the bathroom window. Yeah, I don't think this is what they were singing about. Oh, okay. He was using a bear of shears to remove the internal fly screen and climb through. The court was told that we even took off his pants, slapped the wood across both sides of the face.

Don't get fresh! Talk the language she understands. Ooh, like my husband used to. This is down in Australia, too. This is a weird crime for Australia. He threatened her with the shears, take her clothes off. we've been picked up a small plastic bag containing fuse wires. He emptied it.

That's a smart move right there because the next thing he does, that would have sucked if he hadn't emptied it first. Yeah. He then used it to wrap his penis before forcing himself into her. He didn't want to get her pregnant? Why is he making a makeshift condom before we're eating this woman? Do you want your dick to touch that old pussy? No.

I don't want anything touching it. Well, I mean, Carl. What are you supposed to do at that point? Oh, God. There isn't enough lube in the world. The prosecutor told the court, the woman, quote, felt so much pain she thought her leg was going to break. Yeah. When he was finished, Weatman forced the woman into her shower before running piping hot water over her and pouring detal oil and vinegar over her head in attempt to cover up the crime.

It's nice when the rapist gives you the rape shower, you know? Full service rape is what we're doing here. when he was finished he forced her way back into the bedroom handed over her wallet and keys she called the police apparently after he left the woman was taken to the royal prince Alfred Hospital where doctors found she had extensive

bruising on her arms and face skin tears a swollen left knee you know where those skin tears were too I don't want to talk about it and blurred vision as a result of the chemicals that this guy dumped in her fucking face and the fact that she's 92 years old yeah her vision isn't perfect no shit yeah they found

her wallet. You're to blame cardiac on the... I don't know. Go ahead. They found all of her stuff around the corner in a bag along the side of the road. And after being at large for more than a day, Wheatman was arrested by specialist sex crimes

detectives on Sunday near a home where he had been squatting. I don't know how they got him so quick, but they did. He didn't react to the facts being read in court. He told police he had no recollection of what he did because he had drunk a whole bottle of bourbon that day. Whoa, whoa, let's not start blaming bourbon now.

That's what I'm saying. Don't drag bourbon down with you, you asshole. It's not the bourbon's fault. I'll tell you, Benny, I've drank too much bourbon before. Never raped a 90-year-old. Never. Never once. Now, I like this.

Racist tweets, sure. Raping a nine-year-old, no. Don't do that. Well, certainly not. Weeven said he did not remember the sexual assault. He didn't say, though, I had this gut feeling I was running from something more than just stealing from someone. I'm not a thief. But this was something worse.

I was scared. I was like really upset for myself. I don't know what I did. Oh, he's the victim. Yeah. Poor guy. And he said, I spent two days full of anxiety thinking about what did I do. I don't even know what I did it.

I'm so scared. That blackout anxiety that you got. And then you're like, oh, I raped a 92 year old. Damn it. Either way, he's in a reappeared court December 16th for judgment. In Australia, I hope judgment if a whole speed thrown to crocodiles. Do they have crocodiles there? Well, he was the crocodile hunter.

That's true. All right. That's a good point. Thank you. Maybe just shove a stingray on his back or something. Thank you. Who won bingo? Do we know?

No, I have no idea. Okay. Aren't you on the Discord? Um, I could be. Let's see. Uh, well, Cardiff Electric cheated. Yeah, that checks out. He just wrote Carl sucks in every square.

And I mean, it's true, but. Every now and again, that Cardiff makes me laugh. New Patreon episode is up right now. We inducted Dan Schneider into the Hall of Fame. You can check that out, patreon. com, the creep off. You can listen to pass episode. episodes at the creepoff.com.

And more importantly, you could go there to vote on this week's creep. Very good. Carl, anything you want to say to the people before we get out of here? Let's not forget, everybody. Cuzzoroo, Cuzzaroo, Cuzzaroo. That's right, Carl Cousaroo, vote for Carl at the creepoff.com. Bullshit. True believers.

It's nice to be important. You know what? I miss penis. It's more important to be nice. Gagia. What are you talking about? Are you a boner guy? We hope you have the most wonderful Thanksgiving, don't you, Carl?

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. Jay, D. Saundate a barbecue We want to Reds, but now we're food We won't stay fresh For a friend Victim is blamed

Vinnie wins Vinnie Reesels his creep after his turn And Suttering John mentioned Yeah, I think you're right Congratulations, critical Congrats See you next week May your enemies be cast

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