The Creep Off - Episode 90: All in the Family

Episode Date: November 29, 2021

This week Karl and Vinnie make their nominations for Creepiest Security Guard: In the scum parade we meet a cat mom, a family man, and a heavily armed hero who simply wants his pizza! 

Before the recap, I'm going to need to do a little clean-up around here. Hello everybody and welcome to the world-famous Cardiff Electric Potter. I'm Tucker Dixon and last week was Creep's Giving. Vinnie started us off with a serving of dark meat who preferred the breast meat over the stuffing she received. But don't worry, she always had handfuls of white meat. On the other hand, Carl's, for some reason I wrote Hero, hated these early Black Friday shoppers who are always looking for a steal. But don't worry, he gave them a killer deal. I hope these creeps gave me something more to argue about over the Thanksgiving table.

Anyways, my trip to South Africa was a rousing success, but I'm feeling under the weather. So Tucker out. Attention parents, what you're about to see is not suitable for kids. Shoot, it's not even suitable for some grown-ups. You might want to walk away now if you ain't into these type of things. I'm going to give the people what they want, sensation, horror, shock. I'm going to deliver the goods, because I'm alive, and I'm not backing down. Cuckoo, cuckoo!

What the hell is it supposed to be? Disgusting, vomit-inducing thing. Ola Creepos, welcome to another edition of your favorite true cry podcast, the show about creeps by creeps. For you, creeps. I'm your host. The Tower of Power, too sweet to be sour. The people's champion.

Phidipanato. And my co-host, This guy was a real jerk. It's hot co-co. Carla. Hey, what's happening, Vinnie? Buddy, I don't even know today. I do it all sorts of dumb shit.

Like, I tried to drink tea. Okay? Like, when was I thinking? Why were you drinking tea? I don't know. I was just like, I was trying something different. You know what I had yesterday that you might be excited about? This was something new and different for me.

Captain Crunch CrunchBerry's popcorn. It's now my favorite food in the world. Are you a child? I am. Crunchberries popcorn. Have you tried it? No, no wonder your fucking teeth are rotting out of your head. are you fucking kidding you're eating crunchberry popcorn all right make fun of it now but i have a feeling it's going to be your new favorite food as soon as i get you a bag i won't eat it no because of the diverticulitis in my belly no i don't want that sounds gross all right well you're lost they had like uh i forget what stories i don't know if it was wiggins or not but they had like captain crunch pancake mix oh okay yeah i threw a box around the ground and spit on it just you've never thrown any food on the ground on the ground you've never thrown any food on the ground

That I haven't dove after? Yeah, come on. All right. I'm not buying that for a second. Well, Carl, today we have a fun show. It is episode number 90. Yes. Which is cool.

We're coming off of our Thanksgiving fiesta. Our Thanksgiving. Creepsgiving, Joe. I brought a really good creeps last week with some audio of his crime. And I thought maybe that would put me over the top. What do you think? Can I just say, for those of you who didn't listen to WATP this week, I watched back our episode.

I don't watch these back very often. And when I heard the audio of children being murdered, I felt, I felt human for just a moment again. And I got to tell you, I want to thank you for playing that, Carl. You're welcome. You feel like a person again. I was shocked that you actually felt something as well. I was just very impressive.

Fucking startled by that and flabbergasted. You are truly an awful person for playing it. Thank you. But you want to know something? Even though you trivialize those poor kids' death. Yeah. You still lost. Oh, look at this.

Vinny gets 52% of the vote. I'm just going to chalk that up as another Vinhousing for the winhousing. That's it, baby. Unreal. What's the score right now? Three to one. Oh, God, I got to come back.

I got to start trying it harder, I guess. I mean, you're about to be two consequences back again. I hope not. You just got, you just finished one. I know, I did. I did the seven second porn challenge. Which I got to tell you, that was a fucking popcorn fart in church. No one gave a shit.

I know. So disappointing. It's so disappointing. I was at first, I was nervous about it. And then by the fourth or fifth time I did it, I was like standing in people's way to try to get to them to react to it some way. At one point, he just saw a bunch of kids that he just put his phone right in front of of their face said, look at it.

React. So I guess next time I got to actually, like, have sex with someone in the Walmart in order to get a reaction. Yeah, it's hard. I'm pretty sure I can get laid. Is that the hard part? I'm pretty sure I could get laid in a Walmart. Yeah, I think you could. Especially if you had all the cool toys.

By one of those big piles of shit in the middle of the aisles, it's there for no reason. Oh, burn down the Walmarts. All right. So, Carl, you know who would stop us if we tried to burn down a Walmart? A security guard? They'd probably watch us start the fire. That's true. That's probably true.

Yes, that's right. Security guards, the people who are sworn to protect us for minimum wage. Yeah, so that's our category this week, creepiest security guard. And Vinny, you won, so you will go first. All right. Now, before we go too deep into this, I thought this was going to be shooting fish in a barrel. Yeah, I thought we'd find a lot of creepy security guards. We had a hard time with this one.

I had to go far in a way to find one. but Oudalali, I found a creep. This guy's name will be lucky if I could say it. Okay. We're going to go back to October 2016 in Johannesburg, South Africa, a 29-year-old father of two children. Tucker Dixon was just there. What are the chances? What a coincidence.

Yeah. Yeah. Did Tucker have kids? I hope not. Jesus Christ. He had two kids. Okay. One's five and one is seven.

So it's October. This guy, Thelani, Thokazani, Mothelani. Mithelanee, he was described as a popular security guard at the Sandleton residential complex. He was a friendly guy. Everybody there loved him. They go, oh, look, it's Falani. Hey, Falani, come on over, have a cup of coffee. Like, he was the beloved security guard.

He would play with the kids at the park. You know, where's that dead giveaway? You got that dead giveaway? Yeah, I know. I was just going to say. All right. I'm going to only focus on one day. I'm not going to give you this guy's whole backstory other than you should know.

that he is the father of two children when I tell you this story. Here we go. One day, a mother leaves her two-year-old daughter with a 14-year-old babysitter. Okay. Our boy, Falani, went to the apartment where the 14-year-old was left alone with the two-year-old. And he comes in and he's like, hey, what's going on? And they were like, oh, hey, Falani. The babysitter was just nice and kind of let him in.

Yeah. Well, he walks into the room where the 14-year-old and the two-year-old are. And he picks up the two-year-old and violently starts strangling her in front of the babysitter. Why would he do this? All I know is that the babysitter looked at it and just was like, oh, boy. I don't know what to do with this one. She's going to lose her job. Not doing a good job of sitting that baby.

He started choking this two-year-old baby so hard that it snapped the baby's neck. Oh, okay. So the baby did not survive this is what you're telling. No, no. He then threw the body of the baby on the bed and turned around. and looked at the sitter. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

And this 14-year-old girl is like, oh, fuck. And this is what he told her. This is what she testified to in court. He said, if you ever breathe a word about what's about to happen, I'll do the same to you. Now, I read that and I thought, what's about to happen? Are you allowed to tell everybody you just strangled a baby to death in front of me? Yeah. According to her testimony, he then went to the bed where the deceased was laying and undressed her.

and then undressed himself oh god i didn't see that coming that was a twist he then lay on top of her put his hand over her neck and hate fucked a two-year-old baby while choking it's dead body a dead two-year-old yeah hmm yep he did this right in front of the babysitter carl okay when he was done is she too old for him or something what's i don't understand this apparently i don't understand this either okay this is what fucking happened all right when he was done he's said to her again if you fucking tell anybody what happened here i'm gonna fucking kill you right so now we have a 14 year old girl whose only job is to keep a two year old happy for an afternoon and now has a cum filled dead child with a broken neck laying out of bed that's a dilly of a pickle

yeah what do you do and he says if the mom asks yep tell her she fell off the bed and all that cum got at her i guess i don't know jesus Is this the fucking craziest thing? Well, I'm interested to hear what the babysitter decided to do with this information. The mom comes home. Yep. Babysitter tells the mom, it fell off the bed. Oh, no shit.

The mom is like, well, she's not breathing. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Takes the baby to the hospital. Yeah. Baby is certified dead. Yeah.

You don't have to bring dead people to the hospital. Yep. They don't have to take that route. One of these South African doctors just picked the baby up by the back of the neck and just kind of, Oh, look, there's lots of comies in this one here. Mm-hmm. I don't know why they're Australian, but they kind of are. They kind of are.

South Africans are kind of Australians. All right. I learned something new today. A little bit. The baby's dead. The mother's like, the babysitter said she fell off the bed. And the cops are like, well, one hell of a babysitter you got there, honey. Let me talk to her.

And the babysitter folded pretty quick. Okay, it was the security guard. He did this. Yada, yada, yada. They arrest him. DNA matches to fucking. coming inside of a dead baby. Mm-hmm.

He was found guilty in sentenced to two life terms. This whole DNA thing is made raping dead children very difficult to get away with. It certainly, certainly has two life terms in prison for this guy, plus an additional eight years in prison. Would you like to know what the eight years was for? What's the eight years for? Was it telling the 14-year-old to lie for him? No, it was making her watch.

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, God, okay. For making her watch. It was the extra eight. He made her watch, or she chose to watch? I'm not sure who my creep is here yet. Okay, yeah, right.

Yeah, that's my dude, Falani, Thocassani, and Methylianni from Johannesburg, South Africa. He snapped a baby's neck and that hate fucked it. That's pretty creepy. All right. Good luck, Carl. I'm going to do, because I really want to win this. I'm also going to go to South Africa. My creep this week is the Amicron variant.

So please vote for Carl. All right. My creep this week is a guy named Gregory Capwell. and the thing about security guards that annoys me is that they think that they have more authority than they actually do. Yeah, like my guy thought he had the authority to walk into the apartment. Very different than what you were talking about. And make himself at home.

This is very different. We've all known these security guards, he's run of cops who think that they're hot shit and they're like cops. Straight garbage, a lot of them. So Capwell, this guy in Salem, Oregon, he's frequently attempted to create the impression that he was law enforcement. He altered his vehicle to look like a Salem police cruiser. He dressed like a police officer displayed a badge and referred to himself as Officer Capwell, Sergeant Capwell, and Commander Capwell to both civilians and law enforcement.

And he was constantly fooling cops and firefighters and EMS. Oh, I hate this guy. He showed up on the scene acting like a cop. I know who this guy is now that you told me. Yeah? Yeah. Well, in 2004, Capwell was working as a security guard at West Salem High School. He called the police to report a Hispanic man armed with a.

a hunting rifle. The report led to a lockdown and it terrorized the community. After the police found no trace of an armed man, Capoile admitted he made the whole thing up to make himself seem heroic in some way. He went to the school and lied and said that there was a shooter there. Yeah, like, there's an active shooter at the school. And we should probably check that out. There wasn't.

Hey, just want to let you guys know there was an active shooter here, but I got him. I got it. I got it all taken care of, guys. Don't send the police. I got this one. Wow. How lame. Capel frequently inserted himself into police activity by listening to

the police scanners and patrolling Salem looking for criminal activity, which had nothing to do with his role as a higher security guard. In multiple instances, he followed possible DUI drivers and suspicious people home and reported them to the police, only to have the reports be unfounded. Yes, I call this

a tattletail. This is my least favorite kind of person right here. I thought it was going to be hard to beat a dead baby fucker, but you brought it a tattletail. Oh, Carl, you got me. Kepwell used a taser on a handcuffed person and handcuffed a woman for an hour when she refused to give her her ID when he was working at a bar.

They have to make it tough. Can't they let this guy just play? Police officers would routinely respond to locations where Capwell had detained someone and immediately removed their handcuffs and released them because no crime had been committed. So this guy's just locking people up and then the cops come. He's like, oh, no, you're fine, you can go, sorry. That's kidnapping. Yes, I know.

And he's getting away with that. Campo was arrested on fourth degree assault, reckless driving, and reckless endangerment charges in 2011, he was convicted of reckless driving, sentenced to two years probation, and ordered to attend anger management classes. How on this guy an armed security guard? He's got a rap sheet. He's got anger management. Now, if you were going to hire a security guard, wouldn't you want the guy who's really

going to be extra cautious? Yeah, I would think so. Like, this guy's checking everybody. He was also convicted of reckless driving in 2004, and he's just a problem. All the cops know him. They all know who this guy is. So fast forward to 2017. according to video footage and witness statements,

Capwell confronted Jose Moreno and two other men as they attempted to dine at Denny's in the early morning hours of July 22nd, 2017. Capwell told the men they were trespassing for some reason. The men questioned Capwell's authority, calling him a rent-a-cop and has to speak to the restaurant manager. This did not go over well. He does not like being called a rent-a-cop.

Well, I'm sure it's not the first time he's heard it. This pissed him off to the point where he takes him. Mareno, despite being warned that Moreno had a pacemaker. Marino fell to the ground. His friends helped him remove the electroshock weapons probes. And at this point, they go back to their car and they tell Capwell that they could be calling the police on him for doing this. But they're just going to leave. They don't need Denny's that badly.

They're just going to get out of there. No one needs Denny's that badly to get tased. Capwell says it had already gotten past that point and they had lost the right to leave. He runs up to the car and physically yanks Moreno out of the car. After he pulls this guy out of the car, they start fighting. Rano's what is going on right now? So you got this 25-year-old Moreno, this 34-year-old security guard. They're in a fight.

This is crazy. Capwell starts getting beat up. Good. Because he's a pussy. Great. And decides. Ways your taser now. Well, he pulls out a 40 caliber Glock handgun and shoots Moreno twice in the chest, killing Moreno.

Wow. Wow. Marion County Judge David Leath sentenced Capwell to life in prison with the possibility of parole after 25 years. He was also ordered to pay $3,650 in restitution to Moreno's family to cover his burial costs. One thing I know for sure is that this guy's not going to have fun in prison. No. And I'm sure he's going to pose as a guard. Yeah, he's going to pose as a guard, act like he's one of the guys.

it's going to be a problem meaning i found another security guard that i thought an honorable mention it might be worth oh please i found like five that were honorable mentions worthy go ahead this is a fun one i sent you the video so let the video play and i'll kind of tell you what's happening here if people aren't watching all right so a fan just grabbed the baseball even though it was live in play hands it to this little five-year-old kid who's all smile a security guard runs up says you're out of here buddy but it's not just that he also has to take the ball from the kid. Look at this. He tells the five-year-old kid give me the ball. Wow. Why does the security guard need the ball? They have plenty of balls. And the guy who's

getting kicked out is going, hey, give that kid the ball back. What are you doing? He's not doing it. Wow. Is this incredible? What an asshole? Is he going to arrest the kid? I think so. I think he's going to arrest the whole section. So anyway, that's incredible. That was a pretty fun one that I found as I was doing. I didn't think that would be good enough for my creep but i thought it was fun to to show everyone yeah there was another one that i saw where a guy who was a security guard for the san diego chargers i'll tweet this out later oh okay yeah he's standing on the field about i don't know 10 feet away from the cheerleaders and he's furiously masturbating inside of his pants that's a pretty good one too i think it's time to do some voicemails what do you

say carl yeah let's hear some voicemails the creep off voicemail segment is brought to you by the city of Syracuse. Reminder, sledding is banned in almost all of Syracuse. One step closer to us ending all enjoyment in its entirety. See you in Syracuse. Is that true? Sledding his band? Apparently. A bunch of grinches. Weird. But don't worry, Syracuse. You'll get there. You can do it. You'll get there. All right. Carl. Yes. First voicemail is for you. Okay. Hey, what's up, Carl, and Vinny. I just wanted to let you know that I'm voting for Vinny this week because Carl didn't even bring a creep. He just brought somebody defending his home.

I don't see anything wrong with that. Yeah. Okay. True believers. Bye. Oh, yeah. Sounds like it was a little bias there. Yep.

And I want to thank everyone for keeping it under 45 seconds this week. Oh, good. Thank you. Hey, Carl. I just want to let you know. that there's this new show out there. It's called The Biggest Problem in the Universe, I think, or whatever. And they completely stole your shows hosted by a fat guy and a guy with birth defects.

They each have their fans vote on whatever topic they bring in every week. They've got voicemails shitting on the hosts. I mean, what's up with that? It can't be a coincidence. All right. Well, I just want to let you know that, well, love your tons of fun, Vinnie. and Carl, your fucking teeth are as straight as your sexuality. All right.

Bye-bye. Good gea. I'll have to look into this. Biggest problem in the universe, you say, eh? Yeah. I don't like that they're stealing our... I've heard this chestnut before. I think it's kind of funny, though, because, like, it's a show that went so well and did such amazing things.

Yeah. That I never heard once in my fucking... I know. You didn't even know about it. When you came up with this idea, you explained it to me, and I went, That kind of sounds like the biggest problem in the universe, but all right, let's do it. Fucking what?

Uh, right, here we go. Hey, boys, just listen to Carl's Thanksgiving creep. Uh, I thought the name of the show is the creep off, not the based off. Go fuck yourself, Vinnie Winnie. Waka, waka. All right. All right, I got another one here for you. Okay, so the Thanksgiving creep options are somebody who,

married an old guy and killed him and then cooked him and tasted his fucking body or somebody who was sick of people breaking into his house so he shot them. Huh, hard fucking decision guys. Come on, Carl, you got to bring it.

I'm all for that guy shooting people. Maybe if it was more acceptable to shoot people for trespassing, I wouldn't have unpicked up dog shit on my lawn. Under 45 seconds, bitches, who! I wouldn't recommend you murder people for not picking up dog shit i think that a warning would suffice all right you got any voicemails

today nope that's i don't have anything for us today well i feel like it's time for a skum parade because viny's a creep and car's a widow yep i'm not kidding around they're both a gendered psychopats with no business of a civilized society and they're gonna take you on a scum parade You know, I like the smooth crows better than the yelling, screaming crows I had next to me the other day. Yeah, he was fired up, wasn't he? Woo! He was upset. He was pretty fired up about that podcast.

All right. So, Carl, you've flown on planes with annoying people, yeah? Oh, I am an annoying person. And I fly on airplanes. What do you do on a plane? I like to just fart. Chronic masturbator. I like to walk up and down the aisle and just crop dust everybody on the plane.

I have a big bowl of chili. I like to eat fish on an airplane. Actually, you kind of sound like a good tie. That's kind of funny. Just go the other way. I'll stay at the front. You start just work your way back. So let's talk about a bad airline passenger, shall we folks?

Okay, yeah. A woman on a recent Delta Airlines flight from Syracuse to Atlanta, Georgia, allegedly began to breastfeed her service pet, which happened to be a cat. All right. Well, did the cat? at least identify as a human because that sounds like some weird ass shit to me. I'm not going to steal. Have you

seen cats? Yeah. Do you have claws and shit? You're going to, oh, fucking terrible idea. And bringing on a plane to do it, I don't want to steal Jimmy Schubert's material, but this is an animal that is spooked by a vacuum cleaner. That's a good point. You're going to put it out of pressurized tube.

I'm going to attach it to your nipple. Right. Smart. Real smart. So there was no images of this happening on the plane. Nobody got any pictures of it. But apparently what did happen was that the support staff on the airline sent down

an ACARS, which is a special thing that pilots use to transmit short-based messages to the ground when they're having issues. This is the image of that that was sent from the pilot to the ground, Carl. It says, Passenger in 13A is breastfeeding a cat

and will not put cat back in its carrier when flight attendant requested so they're requesting security be at the gate when they arrive yes because of this now that's probably something is security peter whoever you fucking yeah right i'm four peter this time fucking go get this lady i think you should bring gregory capwell there with his uh glock and uh here's the story apparently a flight attendant uh posted something on tic talk about it claiming that security met the flight because a woman was breastfeeding her cat hairless cat too this woman had one of those quote like hairless cat swaddled up in a blanket so it looked like a baby

anyone who's been paying attention to how crazy women have been getting should not be surprised by this story at all this is just a logical next step i mean this fucking cat what is going on here how do you even train a cat to do this i don't know and and why is our breast producing milk there's so many questions here oh my god did she get birth to this cat do you think she has to sprinkle catnip on her nipple like just kind of yeah that's probably how it starts yeah how did you get your cat to do it before it died oh really what too soon for what too soon okay for suki yaki

poor suki all right so Ainsley the flight attendant on TikTok said her shirt was up and she was trying to get the cat to latch and she wouldn't put the cat back in the carrier and the cat was screaming for its life well what does she do at home if she's doing that in public right security met the flight just to tell her that you can't do that again because it was weird and gross security they finally a good security guard today right he's just like weird and gross he's like stop being a weird owl it's annoying

everybody stop being annoying yeah apparently there's no law that she broke right there's got to be a rule against giving it you know people fluid you can't people fluid people fluid you can't just create every single possible law there is to create till

somebody does something crazy like this. I mean, what the fuck? The state legislature still tried to fucking figure out what to do with weed money. Right. They got to figure out what to do with breastfeeding cats on plates. This story, I got to be honest with you. I have a lot of mixed feelings about because usually you know whose side I'm going to be on on this. Charles Doty Jr. 63 became agitated when he was told that the pepperoni pizza he ordered at a Little Caesars and Cedar Bluff Knoxville would take 10 minutes. That sounds like something that's happened to you before. I don't want Little Caesars. No, thank you. there is a line folks okay i've said it before even shitty pizza is pizza maybe not little caesars little

seizes is pretty bad pizza it's fucking a five dollar pizza and they advertise it it's hot and ready that's the sales pitch we have it it's here right yeah i i definitely uh do not want a five dollar large pizza yeah does not sound like a good idea to me well they told me it was gonna take 10 minutes and he's like says hot and ready bitch like he's not happy yeah so he demanded a free order of bread sticks. They gave him to him. Okay, good. They cost like a nickel. Here you go, buddy. Sure. Go settle down. Well, he quickly ate them and then in front of the people in the store, and then went out to his car and waited for his order. Now, they thought they calmed this guy down. Sure. Apparently, those bread sticks were just really just a crazy appetizer for this guy.

I think they call him crazy bread. Crazy bread. They think that's what they call him there. He comes back into the store with an AK-47. I want to know. What's a white guy doing with an AK-47? I've never seen such a thing. Getting his motherfucking pizzas what he's doing. And he goes there, puts it in the woman behind the counter's face. He says, where the fuck is my pizza? That'll speed things up. That'll speed

up the process. I want my pizza now. That's what Kimberly Murrell said, who was working at her first shift at the shop when the incidents took place. It's a tough first day. Yeah. She said she ran to the bag of the store and told her boyfriend Noah Beeler, who was also working the shift. No wonder the

pizza's not getting out on the time. These two are fucking making dough eyes at each other. Yeah, you can't have people dating working at the little Caesars together. This is a serious business. By the way, I understand pulling a gun out if they don't accept the coupon that you brought. That makes sense to me. But you can't make pizza cook faster with the threat of violence. That doesn't turn up the oven.

I don't know. I don't know what this guy thought was going to happen. So Noah Beeler comes out and says, quote, what in God's Green Earth is going on in your head, mister? You've got to calm down. There ain't no need to be hostile. This is Tennessee. Yep. And the guy moves his hands off the trigger onto the barrel, put on the safety.

He said he then told Doty Jr. to leave, which he duly did without any more trouble. Yeah, so this guy just like came to his senses all of a sudden and went, you know what? This is ridiculous. I should not be reacting this way at all. I feel like this is kind of like the January 6th thing. Yeah, he just got embarrassed. He's like, oh, okay. Yeah, I shouldn't have done that.

All right. Just trying to have a little fun. Yeah. Come on. Where's my pizza? so he was arrested a couple of days later because surveillance footage obviously he was on camera doing this yeah so he's facing charges of four counts of aggravated assault he also faces a count of especially aggravated kidnapping because he was especially aggravated okay i don't know how kidnapping works but

sure that's a class a felony in tennessee can result in the sentence of up to 60 years in prison oh this guy's not going to prison for 60 years yeah well how old is he's like 63 right yeah oh yeah he might never see the light of day again yeah all right either way he went out on a high note fighting for all of us yes we got to get that is i hate to hit it twice that really is the only reason why you go to little caesar's because the pizza is ready and if it's not i can see why that'd be irritating yeah there's literally no other reason to go to a little ceasers unless you are absolutely starving and want a full pizza now or if that guy's just throwing the sign and he's really good at it

And you're like, all right, buddy, I'll go grab a pizza. He shot him in the head on his way. Don't tell me to go to a place. It doesn't have a pepper-ority pizza ready. God damn it. Let's stay down south, shall we? Okay. Fayetteville, North Carolina, police are investigating a 26-year-old named Eduardo Rubio.

Okay. Now, he was in a relationship. Unfortunately, it was with a 13-year-old girl. Oh, okay. Turns out that in this relationship, that the mother had no idea was happening, she said that they knew that they were dating. this guy's 26 and her daughter's 14 but she had no idea that they were having sex and she had no idea that her 13 year old daughter was pregnant by this guy well this was her ex-fiance

the mother was dating this guy oh shit yeah oh i fucked this story up didn't i just a little bit that's all right we'll get back on track she had rubio were in a relationship for four years and since his arrest she's fully cooperated with the investigation she is also said to be pregnant by the same man who allegedly impregnated her daughter. I was going to get to that. I didn't realize she was dating him. I thought she was just cool with the older guy banging the kid. Dude, this guy sucks at pulling

out. He knocked up the mom and the daughter. Is pulling out a white guy thing or something? Why are these people impregnating underage teens? It's so weird. It doesn't make any sense to me. It's like you are the

what would that baby be? The 13 year old's baby would be the granddaughter of the mother? No, so what it would be is they'd be half brothers, right? So these two kids would be half brothers, but they'd also have an uncle-nephew relationship going at the same time. Oh, that's fun. That's fun. I could go bad, though. So here's the problem, though. What's the problem? The 13-year-old. Here's the problem. I'm waiting for the problem here. There was some trouble in paradise, Carl. Okay. It's really what was going on here. Apparently, last Friday morning, uh, the 13-year-old got into a fight with

rubio she told authorities that she was choked into unconsciousness several times and rubio then tried to run her over while she was unconscious how do you not how are you not able to run someone over while there's unconscious that sounds really easy to do how can you not pull out twice this guy sucks that's true this guy sucks today of this episode this guy sucks it sucks and everything somebody found her just like passed out of the street and took her to the hospital where they found out she was pregnant she had injuries to her shoulders arms and knees four and a half months pregnant Rubio was charged with statutory rape of attempted first-degree murder

and attempted murder of an unborn child. Yeah, this guy's not a good guy. In fact, it's kind of funny because I saw this story attached to other stories that we were looking at for the scum parade because it's so ridiculous. They're like, by the way, there's another crazy thing too. They just stuffed the story into every crazy true crime thing that's going on this week.

He tried to run her over. He tried to run over his 13-year-old pregnant girlfriend. What did Dudley do right come by at like the last minute and pull her up? was it on the railroad tracks what the fuck is that's a bizarre story i don't i don't get it i picture this guy rubio with like one of those pencil thin mustache is just like i'll run her over it don't kill the evidence didn't work out did not pensacola florida carl a 31 year old florida man with very strong opinions has been charged with 1,200 counts of sexual assault and incest involving a minor at what number does that number no longer matter right

I would think that if it was like a couple dozen from between 48 to 500, it's kind of all the same. I see your client here is being charged with infinity counts of sexual assault. Exactly, yeah, 1,200 counts. That's a lot. This guy by the name of Robert Coda has been charged with 600 counts of sexual assault on a victim between the ages of 12 and 18. He's also been charged with 600 counts of incest that allegedly took place over the past six years. Now, how did he get caught? How did he get caught? Well, he was turned in by his local pastor.

Oh, you'd think you could trust a pastor to be cool. Yeah, sure. Right? Yeah, you would think that when they were passing the kids around, there was like a brocode. Right. Pastor, come on, be cool about this. After he had approached the pastor and said he had some, quote, issues with one of the church's beliefs. So wait a second, you're telling me this guy was reading the Bible.

And he was like, wait a second, if this is true that I'm a sinner. It wasn't. That can't be right. I got to ask the pastor about this. It's just as cool, right? It wasn't even from the Bible. It was from the church guideline book, specifically referring to the word incest. Now, Carl, we just discussed why there isn't a rule on the books about breastfeeding a cat on the plane.

There is a rule on the books in this church about incest. Interesting. Yeah. So this has happened before. I'm just pointing that out. That's good point. This is a rule on the church's books that says, no incest, please. Now, the further conversation prompted the pastor to tell Coda that he needed to report himself to the authorities.

He's like, what do you mean? He's like, incest is cool. I fuck my kids all the time. What are you talking about? Raven. Wasn't his kids that he was fucking? He was fucking a lot of people. 1,200, I believe.

Yeah, they were all family. No one in the Dakota family was safe. Do we know who he was fucking, though? I'm not sure if I read that. Well, let's keep going. All right. Further conversation made the pastor tell on him, basically. Cota's information was given to the Escambia County Sheriff's Office by the Tattletale

pastor. The shocky arrest report says that the victim told authorities that she had sexual encounters with Cota since she was as young as seven years old. After Cota explained to her that sexual acts are a way of showing affection. The arrest further says that in September 2020, while the victim's mother confronted Cota about her daughter, he pointed a gun at the girl. Oh, that's also the affection thing, right? Yeah. Well, authorities launched investigation into the sexual assault and incest allegations. Cota was arrested for aggravated assault and domestic violence.

both the victim and Cota told the mother about the sexual relationship before taking their statements back after the incident. Oh, okay. So they're like, oh, we're getting in trouble? No, no, no, no, no, no. We haven't been fucking for the last five years. Yeah. It's like that. Cota told police while being arrested for sexual assault and incest that the accusations

quote did not surprise him. It's not good. Yeah, you people aren't open-minded in these parts. Yeah. He's been booked to the Escambia County Jail and his bond has been set at $3 million. What an asshole! Fucking 1,200 counts of sexual assault.

Yeah, that's a lot. How would you fucking sucks to be on that jury? Count one. Count two. She's out of three. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's going to take a long time. How do you even keep track of that?

Like, if you're going to do, we find him. It sounds made up. I'm being honest with you. It just sounds like they just came up with the number. Like, I don't know, 1200. His lawyer's only hope is 12 fucking Carl's on that fucking jury. What? Yeah, because you're just going to be like,

like 1,200. I don't think so. That seems like a bit much. It's too much. This guy's definitely walking free. He's innocent. Just for the goof. Hey, let's let this guy run for the goof. He'll run out of kids. Hey, all right. Ladies and gentlemen, that has been this week's episode of the creep off. If you would like to watch Carl walk around a Walmart blasting porn on his phone as loud as he can. Yep. And making eye contact with people while he does it. you could visit patreon.com backslash the creepoff the video is up there and the video is free yes now while you're there you might just want to sign up for the patreon because tomorrow i believe carl we're recording uh what scum stream those are the fun bonus episodes scum stream

covered tomorrow afternoon kids so put that on your calendars now we will be back next week make sure you go to the creepoff dot com to vote for who you thought was the bigger creep my guy who hate fuck to Ted baby or Carl's guy who, you know, was a tattletail. He's a tattletail, yeah. Yeah, and I hate tattletails, but... Me too. Come on, you know what to do, people. So visit the creepoff.com for that, and I guess it's nice to be important. It's more important to be nice.

Good deal. Hello. The calls are passing me by, they honk and say hello. And I got a jacket on me. It's the cream off. You can drink and you drink so far. I'm very long. Jagging it, jagging it, jagged it, jagged it, jack.

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