The Daily Stoic - Ask Daily Stoic: Ryan and Lauryn and Michael Bosstick (The Skinny Confidential) Talk Stoic Morning Routines and How to Manage Your Life in Quarantine

Episode Date: June 24, 2020

In today’s episode, Ryan speaks with Lauryn and Michael Bosstick of The Skinny Confidential, They talk about how they start their days off strong with their morning routines, the value of t...heir time and how they protect it, and how they have changed their lives to not only survive but thrive during the global quarantine.Lauryn and Michael Bosstick are the producers of The Skinny Confidential, the lifestyle brand that delivers blogging, podcasts, workout and meal plans and more to its followers. Lauryn and Michael have used the teachings of Stoicism to help fuel their success as they reach out to a global audience of millions of fans.Get Tim Ferriss' Tools of Titans: https://geni.us/qqyhxjGet Ryan Holiday's The Daily Stoic: https://geni.us/OZXf6rThis episode is brought to you by WHOOP. WHOOP is a fitness wearable that provides personalized insights on how well you’re sleeping, how much you’ve recovered from your workouts, and how much you’re stressed out from each day. It’s the ultimate whole-body tracker for someone who needs an all-in-one solution. Visit WHOOP.com and enter STOIC at checkout to save 15% on your order.This episode is also brought to you by Felix Gray, maker of amazing blue light-filtering glasses. Felix Gray glasses help prevent the symptoms of too much blue light exposure, which can include blurry vision, dry eyes, sleeplessness, and more. Get your glasses today at http://felixgrayglasses.com/stoic and try them for 30 days, risk-free.***If you enjoyed this week’s podcast, we’d love for you to leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It helps with our visibility, and the more people listen to the podcast, the more we can invest into it and make it even better.Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: http://DailyStoic.com/signupFollow @DailyStoic:Twitter: https://twitter.com/ryanholidayInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryanholiday/Facebook: http://facebook.com/ryanholidayYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/dailystoicFollow Lauryn, Michael, and The Skinny Confidential: Podcast: The Skinny Confidential Him & Her PodcastTwitter: https://twitter.com/laurynevarts, https://twitter.com/michaelbosstickInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/theskinnyconfidential/, https://www.instagram.com/michaelbosstick/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheSkinnyConfidential/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/MissSkinnyShowSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stoke podcast early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today. Welcome to the Daily Stoic. For each day, we read a short passage designed to help you cultivate the strength, insight, wisdom necessary for living the good life. of necessary for living good life. Each one of these passages is based on the 2000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women. For more, you can visit us at dailystoic.com. Hey there listeners! While we take a little break here, I want to tell you about another podcast that I think you'll like.
Starting point is 00:00:41 It's called How I Built This, where host Guy Razz talks to founders behind some of the world's biggest and most innovative companies, to learn how they built them from the ground up. Guy has sat down with hundreds of founders behind well-known companies like Headspace, Manduke Yoga Mats, Soul Cycle, and Kodopaxi, as well as entrepreneurs working to solve some of the biggest problems of our time, like developing technology that pulls energy from the ground to heat in cool homes, or even figuring out how to make drinking water from air and sunlight. Together they discuss their entire journey from day one, and all the skills they had to learn along the way, like confronting big challenges, and how to lead through uncertainty. So if you want to get inspired and learn how to think like an entrepreneur, check out how
Starting point is 00:01:28 I built this, wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen early and add free on the Amazon or Wondery app. Is this thing all? Check one, two, one, two. There y'all! I'm Kiki Palmer. I'm an actress, a singer, an entrepreneur, and a Virgo, just the name of you. Now I've held so many occupations over the years
Starting point is 00:01:46 that my fans lovingly nicknamed me Kiki Kiba Bag Palmer. And trust me, I keep a bag, love. But if you ask me, I'm just getting started. And there's so much I still want to do. So I decided I want to be a podcast host. I'm proud to introduce you to the baby Mrs. Kiki Palmer podcast. I'm putting my friends, family, and some of the dopest experts in the hot seat to ask them the questions that have been burning in my mind.
Starting point is 00:02:08 What will former child stars be if they weren't actors? What happened to sitcoms? It's only fans, only bad. I want to know. So I asked my mom about it. These are the questions that keep me up at night, but I'm taking these questions out of my head and I'm bringing them to you. Because on Baby This Is Kiki Palmer, no topic is off limits.
Starting point is 00:02:24 Follow Baby This Is Kiki Palmer no topic is off limits. Follow baby this is Kiki Palmer whatever you get your podcast. Hey prime members, you can listen early and app free on Amazon music. Download the Amazon music app today. Hey, it's Ryan. Welcome to another
Starting point is 00:02:37 episode, Dearest of podcast. It struck me this morning. Just how long this quarantine has gone on. You know, what was going to be two weeks went into a month, went into two months, three months. I think we're well over a hundred days now. And I've sort of almost lost track of some of these episodes we recorded. I thought, oh, record a few of these and then we'll get back to normal, we'll get back to doing the video ones we're doing.
Starting point is 00:03:03 And, you know, that's just not happened and I don't see it happening anytime soon here in Texas, although we had a pretty good month of May. Things seem to be going in the absolute wrong direction. And you know, people around here seem to be convinced that wearing a mask is an infringement of one's rights, which ironically only extends the dangers of the pandemic and continues to not only put people at risk, but forces more repressive measures to go into place. So I don't know what my point there is, except please wear a mask. They've done some studies. They found that if 80% of people wore masks that were 60% effective, essentially,
Starting point is 00:03:49 it would send the transmission rate to below one and the virus would very quickly die off. So if you go out, which you shouldn't be doing, if you can help it, please wear a mask. And my guest today, Michael and Lauren Bostic, you may know Lauren, as the skinny confidential, two great friends of mine. We did this interview not too long ago.
Starting point is 00:04:11 We had an awesome talk about quarantine. We had an awesome talk about being productive. We just had a great conversation and I was talking to Michael after, we were talking about some business stuff last week, actually, we had a hop on the phone to kick it around. And we were talking about how much of a pain in the acid is now that everyone wants to do everything over Zoom,
Starting point is 00:04:31 and the Zoom call takes forever, whereas it would have been an email before, or would have been a five-minute phone call. So we talk about some of the technological drawbacks of this situation we're in. We talked about parenting, Lauren, and Michael both recently had their first kid, which ties in well to the Stoke Parent Challenge. We just launched, you can check out at dailystoke.com slash parent. Michael and Lauren live very different lives than my wife and I.
Starting point is 00:04:59 They travel all over. They're glamorous. They stay in the fancy as so it tells. They're obsessed with health and wellness, just different people, but I think I like being friends with people who live different lives. They expose you to different things, they open your mind to different things,
Starting point is 00:05:16 and sometimes they just teach you different things. So Lauren and Michael's podcast, the Skinny Confidential him and her is awesome, then more than 70 million downloads and has 8,000 five star reviews. Lauren is a big fan of the stoic. So is Michael, but Lauren posts a page from the Daily Stoke on a very regular basis.
Starting point is 00:05:40 And I can't, like one of the things that I tend to use is sort of a rule of thumb of how much influence or reach someone has is how often it translates from the internet back to real life. And then a number of people that have come up to me over the years at book signings or after talks or whatever that's that I heard about you from Lauren Bostick is a sign of her reach. So check her out. She's at the skinny confidential and then the podcast is at TSC podcast and then Michael is at Michael Bostic of its B-O-S-S-T-I-C-K and then you can check out the really cool podcast network deer media studio as well which hosts great shows with a work of deer media studio, as well, which hosts great shows with a number of friends of mine, including Gabby Reese. So check out this interview with Michael and Lauren Foster.
Starting point is 00:06:33 So, Lauren, I'm curious, and Michael, to walk me through your guys' morning routine, as far as sort of stoicism and self-care and all that goes. How do you start the day off? Especially in quarantine, I have to have a routine. If I don't have a routine, I don't want to say it derails my whole day, but it definitely is a different vibe.
Starting point is 00:06:53 What I did is I went back to Tim Ferriss's tools of the Titans and I read through all these different successful people's routines. And I sort of pulled from each one. So I pulled from Scott Adams. I pulled from James Alteter. I don't know if I'm pronouncing his last name, right? How do you say his last name? I think it's all the jerk. Okay. And and then I implemented stoicism into that. So what I do is every morning, I sort of created this one sheet for myself, which is like, what I'm reading for the day, what I'm listening to for the day, like the podcast or audible, the workout that I'm doing, and the music that I'm listening to. And then from there, I list three great folds, which is
Starting point is 00:07:35 like so cliche, but it really does, it really does help. And then sort of a list of seven must-do's, like what I have to get done. And then I have like a mantra that I write out and then I open the daily stoic and I read whatever day it is and take notes underneath it. And I feel like just doing that exercise, it takes 10 minutes, but it makes such a big difference in the day.
Starting point is 00:08:00 Yeah, I mean, for me, the routine's somewhat changed now that we have a newborn because you never know what she needs and sure. But I'd say, you know, primarily in my morning, you know, I mean, for me, the routine somewhat changed now that we have a newborn because you never know what she needs and she's don't know, but I'd say, you know, primarily in my morning, you know, I wake up, you see, there's a big Jew behind me actually come in here, turn the Jew of on, get some red light, especially because we're in quarantine, and while I'm doing that, I open, I actually open up the daily stoke, and I've been doing this for four years, I've told you that before, and I just go to the page of that day, and I kind of use it as a mini journal. I read the page, and then I kind of do a reflection exercise on, you know,
Starting point is 00:08:27 just my thoughts on what that, that entry said, and what I'm in the place I'm at. And what's interesting is to look back now for years because I've done it for four years. And I can see like the place I was in four years ago compared to where I am on the same exact day four years later, which is interesting to see. And then it's really like, I need my mornings to spend a lot of time thinking. I try not to jump into work right away. I try to read something.
Starting point is 00:08:49 It doesn't necessarily need to be the news or about work, but just could be a biography, could be history, could be fiction, just something to kind of take me out of the busyness that will be the day. And then get some form of exercise and breath work in. And from there, I feel like I'm in a good headspace then to start tackling the most important tasks and get to work. But if I don't have that, that first routine where I'm reflecting and thinking and taking time to stay calm, the rest of the day is just completely fucked for me.
Starting point is 00:09:16 The worst thing you can do, and this is from someone who, you know, is maybe a little bit of a workaholic, is wake up and check your phone. It honestly, like if I can give one tip to anyone, it's don't even look at your phone. The only thing I look at my phone for is to turn on a podcast or to turn on Audible in the morning, probably until about 10 o'clock, because you're just so reactive to everyone else's to do this,
Starting point is 00:09:44 that it's not, and you talked about this too, you go on a walk, like you do some kind of light movement, water, stoicism, a journaling, it just sets the whole tone of the day to do it that way instead of just staring at the screen. There's so much I want to unpack there. One, I think it's interesting that people would think that, given that your job is an influencer that you run your life through your phone, that it would be
Starting point is 00:10:10 impossible not to check your phone in the morning. So how do you, how do you do that? Is that just a lie that people tell themselves? Well, first of all, I think that it's expected for me to be on, on the phone, which makes me a little resistant to it. And just say, when I go to dinner with someone, you won't see me touch my phone. Not even for a second. When I am with my husband on a date night, it's a way. So I'm very cognitive about how often I use my phone. When I am on my phone and I am working, that's what I'm doing. And I'm being incredibly productive. But when I'm away from my phone, I'm still, I'm thoughtful, I'm learning through podcasts or audible,
Starting point is 00:10:50 I'm very, very careful also about being on the phone too much in front of our daughter. We started to notice she's four months old, she can tell when we're on the phone. Sure. So, you know, I just think that if you're out there, you're listening, I think it's important to monitor, monitor how you're on the phone. Do you wake up?
Starting point is 00:11:09 And the first thing you do is check your emails. I did that for eight years. I get it. It's just not a productive way to start the day in my opinion. You're really, you're going off with everyone else needs you to do. I woke up for a long time. I would check my text messages. I started to realize this is giving me cortisol.
Starting point is 00:11:25 The second I wake up, I'm activating that stress hormone. This is not a productive thing. Yeah, no, it's sort of starting the day from the back foot, right? So you're either looking at the headlines, whether it's the death count from the pandemic or it's something that Trump said or it's some random text that your mom sent you
Starting point is 00:11:44 or it's some crappy email from someone that works for you, I don't think you wanna start the day reactive. And to me, there's like, buy an alarm clock. Like people go, oh, I need my phone, because it's my alarm. It's like, well, keep your phone in the other room and don't do that. And then I think, yeah, so for me,
Starting point is 00:12:00 my rule is like 30 minutes. I don't touch it for a minimum of 30 minutes, but I've been amazed at how often 30 minutes turns into an hour, two hours. Sometimes three or four hours. And like you said, Michael, the morning for me is the most productive time. What does it look like for you
Starting point is 00:12:18 where you fall into the bad habits? Where you go, if you don't get that morning time, how does that ripple through your guys' day? Well, I could speak on that pretty easily because I know she's going to rip me up for it. But, you know, there's a story I want to tell before I do. My dad told me and he's 75 now, but he was saying, you know, back in the day, they all worked off fax machines. Like they didn't have the emails weren't coming in.
Starting point is 00:12:38 You couldn't text them when right away. And he said he would receive faxes when they would say like urgent, ASAP, like need response and you'd have the stack of faxes, like the paper next to it, and a lot of young people don't know this. But he said he would take that ASAP fax and he would go to the pile of the fax and he would put it at the very bottom of the pile
Starting point is 00:12:53 and he would slowly as the days went on, go through the other ones on top. And he said, by the time he eventually got to the bottom of the pile, that urgent ASAP one, it either had become a relevant, it wasn't important or it had sorted itself. And if it really was that important, somebody would have figured out a way to like make it important and make it a product. So I think what happens in our, and I quit this to modern day email and
Starting point is 00:13:14 text and all this stuff is, you know, is it really that important? Is it really, you know, that urgent that you have to drop everything and jump into it right away? And I think so many of us live in our inboxes now and it takes us out of time to reflect and to think and to plan and to strategize. Because like you said, we're constantly on our back foot trying to accommodate requests of others. And what I always tell Lauren and people that I work with is I never want to be somebody else's to do this.
Starting point is 00:13:39 I never want to be jumping into somebody else's checklist and so many of us work. And these tasks are into jobs and we have this huge list and it might say email Michael this. And that's fine if that's what they need to do, but that doesn't mean I need to drop everything that I'm doing in response so that they can move on with their tasks.
Starting point is 00:13:54 And so, I try to think about that fax machine story a lot and say, is this really that important? Do I really need to get to it? Especially if it's gonna take time away from my wife or my daughter, which in our other podcast, we say basically time is killing you. And I know I'm not going to get this time back. So that, and me, I'm definitely more guilty of this
Starting point is 00:14:16 than Lauren, especially in quarantine, I won't lie. When I wake up and I jump into the phone, and I'm either looking at the market or I'm looking at an email or I'm jumping. The worst. Yeah, no, but it completely derails my day and I constantly feel like I'm playing ketchup and I'm off my game. I'm in there that I'm stressed about what I need to do for that person and then I got to take care of the baby and then my wife needs help and then I go to do a podcast and I just feel like I'm completely behind and I can't get organized. And then what happens is the work suffers and then I suffer and then, you know,
Starting point is 00:14:48 my health suffers and it's clear that it's a really heavy impact when you don't set the day up right and you don't have that routine to really set yourself up for success. I actually, like I said, for eight years, I was, I was the first person to check my phone and I microdosed And I realized when I micro-dosed that there was two things that were killing me, and that was my text messages and my emails. I don't think when someone sends a text that they should expect a response back. I take sometimes two weeks to get back to someone on text. Sometimes I take a month. And I know that sounds like crazy because you think text is supposed to be, you know,
Starting point is 00:15:28 right away, but I don't think I wanna live in a world where people think that they can just have immediate access to you right then and there. So I've really restructured my thoughts about that. The text message takes me longer. And sometimes, it's sometimes, this is like very weird for me to say, I just won't respond to an email. That's like a big, big deal for me and was a really big epiphany
Starting point is 00:15:50 to be able to be like, I can leave that and that's okay. I love that, Lauren. And one of the rules I've tried to put in place in my life, I wonder what you guys think of this. Is my thing is, like, email is for work, text messages are for friends. So when people that I only have a sort of a professional relationship with, they text me, I actually have to deliberately not respond, and then I follow up over email, and sometimes I have to be like, please don't text me, like,
Starting point is 00:16:16 I don't wanna say like you're not my friend, but what I'm saying is like, look, I don't want you to have direct access to my brain. It's okay if your things are going in this mailbox over here and I can get to that when I want to get to it, but what I can't give you is direct access to my brain. And I think this goes to your point, Michael, about sort of setting the day up, right?
Starting point is 00:16:39 If you're not taking quiet time in the morning to think big picture, to plan out what you want to do, to be creative, to make stuff, you've got to ask yourself, who's doing that? It might, maybe the answer to that is the boss, because you're a low level employee, or you're the janitor or something, in which case, by all means. But like, if the CEO or the founder of the company is not laying out the vision for where it's gonna go, who's doing that? Yeah, I just think like what I discovered was
Starting point is 00:17:10 every time I started a day like that, I don't wanna say it was a terrible day, but I just didn't get anything done. And I looked on like, what was the end result? What was it? What do I have to show for the day? And I was like, oh, shit, I just did like a bunch of to-do stuff. And it goes back to that 80-20 thing.
Starting point is 00:17:24 And I realized that I was at like zero because it was just just did like a bunch of to-do stuff. And it goes back to that 80, 20 thing. And I realized that I was at like zero because it was just basically checking off other people's to-do's. And so I've really just tried to consciously say, OK, if I'm going to have an impact and create something and help move that my organization's forward and my family forward, I have to take time in the morning to really plan and think and strategize,
Starting point is 00:17:39 like, what makes sense for me to allocate my time to you and what doesn't? And if it doesn't, you know, I may be more brutal than Lord, like I'm definitely like, I don't respond to emails that don't, that I, and not just to be rude, but I know that if I can't give 100% to something, then, you know, I just, I let it go because I also don't want to get into a relationship with somebody where like, I started working or doing something with Michael
Starting point is 00:18:00 and he just kind of like, it's sure. It's, you know, we only have so much time. And I think, you know, with technology, we think we can get it all done. But really, and Ryan, as you like, I'm sure. You know, we only have so much time and I think, you know, with technology, we think we can get it all done. But really, and Ryan, as you know, if you really want to have impact and have meaningful work, you have to take some time
Starting point is 00:18:12 and really focus down on that one or two things. I also think that, like, going back to the morning routine a little bit, I made a conscious decision when this quarantine started to not use it as an excuse. And I think that that means having a workout when this quarantine started to not use it as an excuse. And I think that that means having a workout
Starting point is 00:18:28 every single day, seven days a week on my calendar. I think that means having two hours to write on my calendar. I think that that means not using outside circumstances and as an excuse for me to be lazy. And I think when you kind of call yourself out on that, it makes a big difference. Well, I'm curious, speaking of that, because I think you want to make sure
Starting point is 00:18:52 you're not using it as an excuse to do things you should be doing. But then I'm also using it as an excuse to not do things I shouldn't be doing. So, for instance, like, you know, I don't know about you guys, but because everyone's home, you know, you're inundated. So for instance, I don't know about you guys, because everyone's home, you're inundated with requests for podcasts, you're inundated requests for, hey, will you jump on this call?
Starting point is 00:19:11 Let's have a conference call, let's do this thing. I'm trying to say, hey, I've been given this gift of this time. I want to make sure I don't build it up with a bunch of crap just because there isn't anything I'm supposed to be doing. And so how are you guys thinking as part of your business is flying around and visiting places and doing appearances and traveling
Starting point is 00:19:30 and how are you now seeing, is this gonna change what you say yes to when options are back on the table? It's funny because you actually taught me this and I can't remember which piece of work this was where you said that what gets you off is not having anything on your calendar. Yes, sure. What was you you yeah I wrote a piece and I said I have calendar anorexia which is very insensitive but but totally it describes it perfectly. I really really I think it was an article about I think it was the can I pick your brain for coffee article?
Starting point is 00:20:06 Yes, and you just wrote about how that having nothing on your calendar is what really makes you happy and I've realized that like that's having not a full day makes me happy too So I've really zoned in on trying to clear it up. I only do conference calls on Wednesday. That's it if it doesn't work I'll wait conference calls on Wednesday. That's it. If it doesn't work, I'll wait till the next Wednesday. I would bet. You know, just things like that make a big difference. Yeah, I think from my perspective, you know, like more like on the business operations side, you know, what I would I realize what's so important to me
Starting point is 00:20:38 is time to sit and think and reflect. And for a while, I felt like maybe a little guilty about it, because you know, everybody's working so hard. And I felt guilty taking the time to maybe stop, quote, unquote, working and go into like strategize mode and to think. But I read this book, Blitzkilling with Reid Hoffman, I don't know if you've ever read it. Yeah. There's some really, like, there's some parts that I don't know are so relevant, but some
Starting point is 00:20:57 that are very relevant. And there's this chap, like if you're working on something or you're leading an organization or you're building a business, it's not only important for you to take that time, but it's crucial because there needs to be somebody that's sitting back and strategizing and thinking and taking the time. And what I've tried to do in this quarantine, I think we've gotten to a place where everyone, you know, for whatever reason, we've all just immediately adopted Zoom. We're on Zoom now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:18 And everyone's doing Zoom meetings, everyone's getting on. And I've tried to stop and think like, okay, I understand we're a new circumstances, but are we just blindly saying yes and adopting things because this is the circumstances we're all in? And instead I question like, is that zoom meeting necessary? Do we need to do this? Is that is that obligation that we're committed to before? Something that we absolutely have to do? So this time is really giving me chance to say, okay, did we need to go do those appearances? Should we do that podcast? And so it's what it's done is it's forced us to be a little bit more selective and a little bit more thoughtful about not only the planning process, but our work process. So in a way, I'm
Starting point is 00:21:53 grateful for this time because without that, I think we would just be doing the same thing over and over and over without the chance to sit down and reflect. I think what makes me and Michael happy overall is something that you said on Gabby Reese's podcast and we've been talking about this a lot is autonomy. That's kind of like what we're working towards. So in quarantine, like how are we making steps and movements to sort of go towards that? Yeah, I'm working on an article about this right now. My definition of success is autonomy. If you don't have control over your life day to day, you're not powerful or free. The irony is that oftentimes it's the most powerful people who are the least free, right?
Starting point is 00:22:31 It would suck to be the president or it would suck to be the CEO of an enormous company. Jeff Bezos, it seems like he has unlimited options, but in fact has the fewest options, right? And so realizing that is really important and how much discipline it takes. I remember I was reading a story about Sean Parker once, the founder of Napster, first investor in Facebook.
Starting point is 00:22:53 He was saying that someone was saying about him and this is before he was a billionaire, I guess, but that they were waiting for a flight and he was like answering emails, making phone calls, who's working on something and they were like, okay, time to board the flight. And he was like, I'm gonna miss this one. I'm in like a rhythm right now.
Starting point is 00:23:10 And I was like so blown away at the discipline that it would take to like deliberately not get on a plane because you were working on something really well. And like so, you know, maybe the cost of that was $500 or $1,000, but he was able to do the math and go, it's worth more to me to keep doing what I'm doing than to do this other thing. I think oftentimes we can kind of get trapped by convenience or what seems most proper or whatever and so you've got to protect that space to do what Count Newport calls deep work.
Starting point is 00:23:43 And it's really rare when you get in that rhythm. So you have to have the autonomy, I think, to be able to go like, yeah, I'm just not going to do that. I know you really want me to, but I'm just, I'm just not kind of. Yeah, and it rubs people the wrong way a lot of the time. But as long as they understand it's not a personal thing. It's not something against them. It's the fact that like you know,
Starting point is 00:23:58 you can't be effective if you don't do those things. Yeah, and then who, who are you punishing? If you do do those things, you're punishing your who are you punishing if you do do those things? You're punishing your work, you're punishing your business, you're punishing your employees. And I think most powerfully what you learn as soon as you have kids is like,
Starting point is 00:24:13 oh, I stole this time from my five month old in your guys' case, right? Like some, like when I get on a conference call now and it's poorly organized or it's very clear that it didn't need to happen at all. I'm like viscerally angry Not at the other people so much, but I'm angry at myself That I allowed myself to be bullied into something that a stronger no Would have protected me and my family from this theft and that's really what it is. It's theft
Starting point is 00:24:43 That's so true. There's so many conference calls I get on. I'm angry at myself. It's not even the other person. Well, yeah. Even in this time, what I've realized is, you get in this office rhythm and we're like, there's all those memes.
Starting point is 00:24:56 This meeting could have been an email and this email could have been a call, all that. But we've kind of, society's kind of just doing the same thing. They're just turning it all into zooms. And so a lot of what I'm doing in my business is stepping back and talking with team is saying like It doesn't need to be a zoom or a call unless it absolutely needs to be unless there's a clear agenda And there's something we can all accomplish like it just doesn't need to happen And I think it's been interesting for me to see like people just adopt the same behaviors that were maybe not so productive
Starting point is 00:25:21 In the office outside of the office with this technology, like listen, take some time, reset, like, you know, use this time to strategize and actually have an impact, just suppose it's just filling time with useless meetings. Or new ones, I mean, like nobody was using Instagram live two months ago, and now everyone wants you to join their Instagram live, you know, and like, oh man, and look, I know some people were. But to me, it's so transparent. It's like the world through a terrible tragedy forced you to be with your own thoughts and to make your own schedule for two months. And instead of you saying, here's what I'm
Starting point is 00:25:57 going to get out of this time. You tried, you said, I'm going to fill it with Instagram lives instead. You know what I mean? You're finding a way to be unproductive, even when the world is demanding that you be productive. It's crazy. It is crazy.
Starting point is 00:26:13 It's so crazy. I got this big sac right here, and it's just a sac of books. And every time that I think, there's just a bunch of books in here. Oh, are there's galley's from people? Or are those books you wanna read? There's just books I wanna read. Oh, okay, sure. And what I found is, you know, there's just a bunch of books in here. Oh, there's galley's from people or those books you want to read. There's just books I want to read.
Starting point is 00:26:26 Oh, okay. Sure. And what I found is like, I just filled this stack to, when this all happens, it's okay. Whenever it starts to be this crazy, unproductive thing or something, that's I know is wasting time. Like, I just go into this stack of books and that's what I try to use much.
Starting point is 00:26:37 You know, if I have nothing to do, that's what I'm going to do. It's not going to be an Instagram live. It's not going to be video games. It's not going to be something that's unproductive. It's something that's actually in here. It's not going to be checking your phone it's not going to be something that's on producers, we something that's actually it's not going to be checking your phone in the morning anymore after. Yeah. What is that? Is that the Andrew Roberts Napoleon biography behind
Starting point is 00:26:51 you, Michael? Yes, it's a great book. So it's great. And I actually just had him on the podcast, but like one of the things that I'm trying to use this time for, I think it's another, maybe it's a good place to sort of wrap this up, is like not only how can you use this time to be productive, but how could you use this time to do things that ordinarily you wouldn't be able to do? So reading a 700 page biography is tough to do when you have all these, but it's easier to do when you're stuck at home, when you can't go do other things. And so that's something I'm trying to think about too. It's like, when I go to the office and the office is usually empty because I've sent all my employees home and stuff, but it's like, there's all these administrative or easy tasks I could do. And then in
Starting point is 00:27:35 some ways, those are more tempting, but I have to remind myself, I'm not going to get a quiet period like this to write very often. you should always be trying to think about the things that only you can do right now, not fill it with the easy, you know, uh, tempting thing to do right now. That's so funny that you say that because Michael just showed me this
Starting point is 00:27:58 video by Brian Tracy the other day on 8020. Um, and Michael, I feel like that's really relevant. That whole message just about doing that, doing the things that you absolutely have to do instead of the tempting tasks that like you just want to cross off your to-do list to cross it off, just doing the priorities, especially right now. Well, I'm sure many, like pretty much all your listeners, most of your listeners know the 80-20 principle, but it's just like I go back in and reinforce it sometimes because you know, basically the argument is that so many of us just get caught
Starting point is 00:28:24 up in these to-do lists, these task-based things that really don't have any impact on the overall goal that you're trying to achieve. And so, you know, I have in the morning, I didn't touch on this, but now I started this experiment while in quarantine, where basically I have 10 tasks on a list, and I only highlight the top two that are the most important. I can't even hear the other eight without, but every morning between nine and 10 in the morning, and not today because we do the podcast, but the only thing I'm allowed to work on, literally, I'm not allowed to look at email, I'm not allowed to do anything, it's just those two things. And my experiment is, I want to see if I dedicate, you know, seven hours a week every week to just those things.
Starting point is 00:29:02 How much it'll impact and what it does is it takes me out of those other task based things that don't have impact. And then I can get to those later for that make sense. But I just think so many of us just get caught in these to-do lists. And I don't think I keep saying that. And it just, it doesn't have an impact. And so it's this time to just sit back
Starting point is 00:29:17 and be like, what is actually important, what's actually going to move the needle for me? Well, so two things to bring that to a close then, related to what you're saying. Do you know about the Eisenhower decision matrix? Maybe maybe I would check I would check that out and list there should check it out to it's it's making the distinction between what's urgent and what's important and that often what's urgent is not important and often what's important is not urgent and so it's it's sort of breaking down where does this task fit in the thing? And a lot of times, people spend way too much time on what's both not urgent and not important. And that decision gives you,
Starting point is 00:29:52 or that distinction gives you a real clear list of priorities. But the other thing that I think about constantly, Marcus Aurelius says, like, you should look at everyone's actions and ask, is this essential? And he says, you have to start by asking that of your own. And so I think that's a really good question. I feel like we really zoomed in on this podcast
Starting point is 00:30:10 on that theme, which is just really looking at everything you're doing and saying, is this essential? Do I need to do this? Can someone else do this? Can it wait? Like, is this essential? Is it the right time to do it? And then if you're, if that's your rubric,
Starting point is 00:30:24 you will make good decisions and you will not waste your time in your life. That's me, that's the way to think about it. We know to agree more. Awesome, guys. Thank you so much for the best. We'll talk again soon. Thank you, Ron.
Starting point is 00:30:34 Thanks for having us on. We invite you to check out our newest course, the Stoic Parent. To give you tools and support that you need to become the parent you want to be, it's 10 actionable practical meditations and prescriptive commandments for parenting. Rules you can live by and teach by for as long
Starting point is 00:30:53 as you are lucky to have this job. So check out dailystoic.com slash parenting. Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stoic Early and Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.