The Daily Stoic - BONUS | If You’re Feeling Anxious Right Now, Listen To This

Starting point is 00:00:00 If you're still overpaying for wireless, it's time to say yes to saying no. At MintMobil, their favorite word is no. No contracts, no monthly bills, no overages, no hidden fees, no BS. And that's actually why we made the switch. Started getting premium wireless, 15 bucks a month for the phone we use here at the office. For the phone that my assistant uses, the phone we use for social media here at the office. That's what we post our Daily Stoic Instagrams and tweets and YouTube shorts with. It's been great.

Starting point is 00:00:33 The price is unbeatable and the service is exactly what you'd expect from any big brands. All plans come with high-speed data on limited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Use your own phone with any MintMobile plan and bring your phone number along with your existing contacts. Ready to start saying yes to saying no, make the switch at mintmobile.com slash stoic. Mintmobile.com slash stoic. Upfront payment of $45 required, equivalent to $15 per month, limited time new customer offer for the first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on a limited plan. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. Look, ads are annoying. They are to be avoided if at all possible. I understand as a content creator why they need to exist.

Starting point is 00:01:27 That's why I don't begrudge them when they appear on the shows that I listen to. But again, as a person who has to pay a podcast producer and has to pay for equipment and for the studio and the building that the studio is in, it's a lot to keep something like the Daily Stoic going. So if you want to support a show but not listen to ads, well, we have partnered with Supercast to bring you a ad free version of Daily Stoic. We're calling it Daily Stoic Premium. And with Premium, you can listen to every episode of the Daily Stoic podcast completely ad-free, no interruptions, just the ideas, just the messages, just the conversations you came here for. And you can also get early access to episodes before they're available to the public.

Starting point is 00:02:15 And we're going to have a bunch of exclusive bonus content and extended interviews in there just for Daily Stoic Premium members as well. If you want to remove distractions, go deeper into Stoicism and support the work we do here. Well, it takes less than a minute to sign up for Daily Stoic Premium, and we are offering a limited time discount of 20% off your first year. Just go to dailystoic.com slash premium to sign up right now or click the link in the show of descriptions to make those ads go away. Welcome to the Daily Stoic podcast, where each day we bring you a stoic-inspired meditation

Starting point is 00:02:54 designed to help you find strength and insight and wisdom into everyday life. Each one of these episodes is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women to help you learn from them, to follow in their example, and to start your day off with a little dose of courage and discipline and justice and wisdom. For more, visit D. DailyStoic.com. Would you describe yourself as an anxious person?

Starting point is 00:03:41 Sure. Yeah. What does it look like for you? Yeah. I think for me it's this constant sense of questioning. Yeah. And I've tried to transition the questioning, at least in terms of questioning myself and questioning every decision,

Starting point is 00:04:00 into paying attention and noticing, so that's a little bit different. And something I think is really helpful for people is if you just kind of like go through your day and just start by paying attention to how you spend your time. You don't have to do anything else. Like if you just notice, you know, what are you responding to when you have little pockets of free time? How do you spend that time? How do you structure your day with whatever autonomy you have? I think if you do nothing else, then just moving forward, you're going to probably make some better decisions.

Starting point is 00:04:32 And the second part is, like, what do you want more of and what do you want less of? And so I have tried to take some of my anxiety, which is always like it's a physical manifestation. Like I'm feeling like really, you know, this tightness in my chest. And it's very much in my head too. I'm just like worried all the time. I'm trying to like, okay, what is going to? on right now. What do I need? What is happening? What do I need? What can I do? How can I maybe also get out of myself? So it's not just like, what do I need for myself. But if I really don't know

Starting point is 00:05:03 what to do, then it's like, is there some small thing I can do to be helpful to somebody? And that's actually going to make me feel better usually, right? Like, hopefully it's going to help that person too. But I'm also going to be like, oh, okay, it's cool. I did something there. Yeah. Have you gotten better at noticing when it's you or the anxiety talking? Do you know what I mean? Like when you're like, hey, I'm in this, this is not me in my resting state. This is the anxiety state that is feeling this intense or this worried or what, like, can you notice that? Yeah, I got a lot better at understanding cognitive distortions, which I wrote about in this book, about like black and white thinking or personalization. Like, if this thing happened, it's not, you know, if some negative

Starting point is 00:05:43 thing happened, it's not the end of the world. Sure. If I get some criticism, maybe it's actually more about that person's experience in mind, right? Which you know this stuff intellectually, but I kind of had to like delve into it a little bit more to understand it like to not just understand it but to internalize it I think well one of the interesting passages where the stoics talk about anxiety is marcus realis he goes he's by sitting at the end of the day you know and he's reflecting in the journal and he goes you know today I escaped my anxiety and so he's you know when you have a good day where you didn't have it right right but then he he catches himself and he says actually no I discarded it because it's within me and I think

Starting point is 00:06:21 that's something I've tried to get better at. It's like, the airport is not the cause of the anxiety. I'm in the airport bringing the anxiety to it, right? Like, it's not what's happening in the world. That's the source of the anxiety. It's my opinions about what's happening in the world. My sense that it should be different, my sense of powerlessness over it. Like, I'm, it's not that I'm choosing to be anxious, especially if you tell that to someone who's anxious. That sounds very dismissive. But the, but the point is like, the common variable in all the situations that you are anxious in is you. Sure.

Starting point is 00:06:57 And that it's, it's, and so, so what I think Marcus is doing there and what I try to do, and it sounds like you try to do, is you, you, you, you take this feeling that you have. And then you kind of go, why am I feeling this way? What is the logic of this? Is that actually logical? How is this worked out? Like, you, you're just kind of, you're almost, you, you, you, you're almost, you, The same racing mind that's causing the anxiety can be used to kind of slow it down and detangle the knot that you've twisted yourself into.

Starting point is 00:07:30 Yeah, you ask, what is the evidence for this, right? Yes, yes. What is the evidence? And maybe you can come up with something, but most likely it is your projection or something else. And then once you realize, oh, this is just a thing, then maybe you do still feel that, you know, but you can also be aware, okay, I've been here before. Yeah. Right. I've been here before.

Starting point is 00:07:47 This is going to pass, right? Am I doing more or less the right things, right? Am I, you know, like I may not be... More often than not. Yeah, exactly, right? Am I working towards something that I believe in that is important to me? Do I feel like I'm being true to myself? And these sound like... Have I done everything I can do? You know? And if the answer is no, maybe there's something specific that you can do, right? And if the answer is no, maybe there's something specific that you can do, right? And that helps too, I think, because often it's this overwhelming generality. Yeah. And so if we say, oh, here's actually three things I can do that might create a better outcome. I don't know for sure. But if I do these three things, then I've done my part.

Starting point is 00:08:32 Yes. So, yeah, getting specific has really been very helpful. Another question I like is like, would that really be so bad? Right, right. Like, what's the worst that can happen? Yes, exactly. Right, because often you just have this vague existential doom that you haven't, put up for review and evaluate it. And it's like, you know, actually what would happen is they

Starting point is 00:08:54 would laugh at you or actually, you would figure it out. No one would care. No one would care. Right. More likely. Yes, exactly. People are judging me. People are judging me, but actually most of the time, they don't care. Look, if you take supplements or you know much about the supplement space, you know, it can be a little shady, it can be hard to know who to trust. It can be hard to know what actually works. What do the pros use? What do the best in class people take? How much do they take?

Starting point is 00:09:25 What brands do they take? And that's where today's sponsor comes in, Momentus. All Momentus formulas are designed with human performance in mind. They are NSF and informed sport certified, which provides a high level of trust to over 200 pro sport and collegiate customers. And they source every one of their ingredients for quality, not just what's cheapest. And what's on the label is what you.

Starting point is 00:09:49 you get with Momentus. They call this the Momentus standard, and it's the reason their products are trusted by pro sports teams, Olympic athletes, military top performers. Momentus is not just another supplement brand. They built their entire reputation around doing the fundamentals with precision and backing it all with science, transparency, and elite level trust. And Momentus as a new supplement, their creatine lemon delivers the purest creatine on the planet. It's called it's in a naturally flavored lemonade-style powder for on-the-go travel packs that you can mix with water anytime, anywhere, no mess, no measuring, no missed days. If you take creatine, you should check out momentous creatine. There's no fillers, there's no artificial junk, just clinically

Starting point is 00:10:38 validated ingredients that work. And if you've been curious about creatine or you've taken it before and you've dropped out, this is your moment to get back on track with a formula you can actually use and enjoy, and it'll make you feel great, thanks to its superior quality. So what are you waiting for? Just head over to live momentous.com and use code stoic for up to 35% off your first order. That's stoic at live momentous.com for 35% off your first order. So what are you waiting for? Just go over to live momentous.com and use code daily dad for 35% off your order. That's code daily dad at live momentous. You know, you go to the doctor, you get a test done, they send you out to a specialist,

Starting point is 00:11:24 you get this scan done, you get this blood work, and then where does that go? Maybe it goes back to the doctor, but you never see it again. I was actually just, I had an MRI and a cat scan, I had blood drawn. I've been doing a bunch of tests for a bunch of different things my doctor's been trying to figure out, but the problem is it just kind of goes into a black hole somewhere. That's why I was actually excited about today's sponsor, because Function is the only health platform that gives you access to all of your data, the kind of data most people never get, and then helps you with insights to start doing something about it.

Starting point is 00:12:00 With Function, you get access to test over 100 different biomarkers, from hormones to toxins, to markers of heart health, inflammation, and stress. And then also you can access MRI and chest CT scans, all of it tracked in one secure place over time. It's a near 360 degree view to better see what's happening inside your body. And that's why top health leaders from all over the world are behind it. To learn more and join using my link, Function will help you with a near 360 degree view to what's happening inside your body. And a thousand of our followers will get a $100 credit towards their membership. Just visit functionhealth.com slash daily Stoic or use gift code Daily Stoic 100 at some.

Starting point is 00:12:44 sign up to own your health. So when the Stokes talk about how some things are in our control, some things are not in our control, what they're saying is, well, focus on what you control about this situation, reminding yourself that, hey, just feeling anxiety, emoting about the problem, biting your nails about it, talking about it incessantly to people, it's not making it any more or less likely to happen. So try to put that energy to constructive use. Try to think about, okay, here's what I'm going to do, here's what I can do. Here are ways that I can influence this situation or at least prepare myself to be resilient

Starting point is 00:13:19 or endure or bounce back from it if it does happen. Put yourself to constructive use. Put yourself working on something that makes a difference. Just make sure you're not confusing spending mental bandwidth and energy and torturing yourself emotionally. Don't confuse that with making a positive difference. There's a story about Cleanthes, one of the ancient and he's walking through Athens one day and he sees this man talking to himself.

Starting point is 00:13:49 You know, the way that we all do it, like, what's wrong with you, you idiot, how could you be so stupid? You know, that sort of negative self-talk that sometimes when we get so frustrated, so disappointed in ourselves, we can't help but break out into. And Clanthes stops and he interrupts the man and he says, hey, I just want you to know you're not talking to a bad person. What an amazing interruption, what a great kindness to do a stranger. I think we can imagine somebody doing that for us. The next time we get really riled up, the next time we get really upset with ourselves,

Starting point is 00:14:18 just to remind ourselves, you're not talking to a bad person. You're talking to you. You're not talking to a bad person. Life is difficult enough. It's hard enough. You shouldn't suffer imagined troubles, Seneca says. That means don't borrow suffering. Don't get scared, worried, annoyed, anxious in advance of something that may or may not happen. That doesn't mean you're naive. You think everything's going to go your way. You do have a plan for the worst-case scenario, but that's different than torturing yourself in anticipation of something that perhaps the odds are only 50-50 of actually even happening. What people say, what people do, the things that happen, these things

Starting point is 00:15:04 can't upset you. Only your opinion about those things can upset you. The events are objective. It's what we make up about them. It's the story we tell ourselves. about them. It's that we say we've been insulted or offended or transgressed against or harmed. That's the problem. It's not things that upset us, Epictetus said. It's our opinion about things. Look, it's a bad use of your creativity. The time you're spending, imagining what might happen, the conversations you're making up in your head, the things that you think people are thinking about you. This is a bad way to deploy your creativity. You're using it to make yourself miserable.

Starting point is 00:15:46 You're imagining these terrible scenarios. Notice you're never imagining things going well, people liking you. You're putting your imagination to work on your anxiety, on your self-consciousness, on your doubt. And it's just not a good use of it. The Stokes would say our mind is this incredibly powerful thing. How are you going to deploy it? How are you going to use it to torture yourself or are you going to use it to move yourself forward? to solve problems or create them.

Starting point is 00:16:17 No amount of philosophy, Seneca says, takes away our natural feelings or inclinations. Is this in my control or is this not in my control? Is this up to me or not up to me? That's the essence of Stoic philosophy. Marx really says that we have to remember that the thing is not causing us anxiety. We are causing the anxiety in ourselves.

Starting point is 00:16:35 It's within us, which means that we can let it go. Hey, it's Ryan. Thank you for listening to The Daily Stoag podcast. I just wanted to say, we so appreciate it. We love serving you. It's amazing to us that over 30 million people have downloaded these episodes in the couple years we've been doing it. It's an honor. Please spread the word, tell people about it, and this isn't to sell anything. I just wanted to say, thank you. You know,

The Daily Stoic - BONUS | If You’re Feeling Anxious Right Now, Listen To This

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.