The Daily Stoic - “Embracing Change Will Set You Free”
Episode Date: March 15, 2025Yung Pueblo, one of today’s most influential poets, joins Ryan to discuss the overlap between Stoicism and Buddhism, why achieving success can lead to discontentment, and how ancient wisdom... has transformed his life—and can transform yours too.Diego Perez is a meditator and #1 New York Times bestselling author who is known by his pen name, Yung Pueblo. Online he has an audience of over 4 million people. His writing focuses on the power of self-healing, creating healthy relationships, and the wisdom that comes when we truly work on knowing ourselves. He has sold over 1.5 million books worldwide that have been translated into over 25 languages. Diego is a general partner at Wisdom Ventures and a founder of Ready Platform, a dating and relationship support app.Pick up signed copies of his latest book How To Love Better and his other books Lighter, Inward, Clarity and Connection, and The Way Forward at The Painted Porch. You can follow him on Instagram @yung_pueblo and on X @YungPueblo.🎥 Watch Yung Pueblo's first interview with Ryan here: https://youtu.be/3PRmFF5B_Co🎙️ Follow The Daily Stoic Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dailystoicpodcast✉️ Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail🏛 Get Stoic inspired books, medallions, and prints to remember these lessons at the Daily Stoic Store: https://store.dailystoic.com/📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, and FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Welcome to the weekend edition of The Daily Stoic.
Each weekday, we bring you a meditation inspired by the Daily Stoic.
Each weekday we bring you a meditation inspired by the ancient Stoics,
something to help you live up to those four Stoic virtues of courage, justice, temperance, and wisdom.
And then here on the weekend we take a deeper dive into those same topics.
We interview St stoic philosophers. We explore at length how
these stoic ideas can be applied to our actual lives and the challenging issues
of our time. Here on the weekend when you have a little bit more space, when things
have slowed down, be sure to take some time to think, to go for a walk, to sit
with your journal, and most importantly,
to prepare for what the week ahead may bring.
Hey, it's Ryan.
Welcome to another episode of the Daily Stoic Podcast.
Social media has largely not been great for humanity,
certainly not been great for us as individuals
as far as our habits and practices.
It's just an enormous time socket,
ripped apart our political system,
it polarized us, it distracted us,
probably made us more materialistic,
evaporated our attention spans.
It didn't do a lot of great stuff for us,
but it's not all bad.
I mean, look, maybe you found out about Stoicism
through social media. These algorithms are, of course, very powerful. I try to take advantage
of them where I can. And I'm also always interested in other people who have used the algorithm
for good, right? Who have used it to spread positive messages or have used it to popularize
things that are difficult to popularize. An obscure school of ancient philosophy,
not the easiest thing to get the algorithm to pick up.
And I'd say poetry, not the easiest.
We had Rupi Khar on Not Long Ago.
Her counterpart, another very popular Instagram poet
who I've known now, I guess, for three or so years
is Young Pueblo.
Young Pueblo came on the podcast back in 2022.
And we had a delightful conversation then,
and we had a delightful conversation. This time he came out to the painted porch. His books have sold over a
million and a half copies worldwide, been translated in over 25 languages. One of the things
we talked about that I didn't know about him, I didn't know how steeped he was in meditation and
Buddhist thinking. He kept talking about people who have spent tens of thousands of hours meditating.
And I never really thought about the cumulative amount
of time spent studying or practicing
a philosophical practice, right?
I wondered, it made me wonder how long I've actually put
into stoicism over the years.
Certainly I would tend to measure my output
in words rather than hours, but it was a really interesting conversation I was tend to measure my output in words rather than hours,
but it was a really interesting conversation
I was glad to have.
He has a new book out called,
"'How to Love Better' The Path to Deeper Connection
Through Growth, Kindness and Compassion."
He's got a bunch of very popular poetry books
which always immediately sell out at the bookstore
where we have trouble keeping them in stock.
And he signed a bunch of them.
He signed lighter inward clarity in connection
and the way forward.
You can follow him on Instagram at Young Pueblo.
That's Y-U-N-G underscore Pueblo.
Follow him on Twitter at Young Pueblo no underscore.
Look, here's a guy with an online audience in the millions
when poetry is, you know,
seemingly anachronistic or antiquated
or just the domain of tendered university professors.
He found a way to bring that to millions of people.
I'm really fascinated by that.
So here is us talking about how not to let your emotions rule,
how to have empathy for people you disagree with,
where the Stoics and the Buddhists overlap
and quite a bit about Emerson.
Also, here is my conversation with Diego Perez,
AKA Young Pueblo.
Where do you live?
I live in the woods in Western Mass.
The woods.
I'm like literally in the middle of nothing.
Like Thoreau kind of woods?
Yeah, like literally pretty quite close.
Yeah?
Yeah, two hours west of Boston,
three hours north of New York City.
Why there?
Just I was tired of the concrete.
Yeah.
I was tired, you know, I grew up in Boston
and then I lived in New York City for seven years
and I don't know, I just needed some nature.
Yeah. Yeah.
I was reading about Thoreau one time
that it's more wooded now than when he lived there.
Yeah.
When he lived there, they just cut
the trees down. They just cut everything down.
Yeah, all the trees are a hundred years old.
Yes.
So we have this sense of like the landscape being one thing
and actually like what we think of as like the good old days
or when things were more rural,
it was actually worse and more industrialized.
Yeah, way worse.
I think it was just the same as the UK
where they cut everything down.
They came to New England, cut everything down.
And there is like one tiny little place
where there's an old growth forest that I went to
that was like, it looks like Lord of the Rings.
Like it just looks very different
than these like skinny little, you know.
Obviously I know they needed the stuff,
but like what did they think as they were chopping down these
like 800 year old trees or whatever?
Like, you know, like, there's something about inexplicable to me about like the human mind
that some people are like, this seems like a good idea.
Yeah.
Like, you know, you're not filled with guilt and disgust.
Yeah.
And shame.
Yeah.
It's just production.
I think it's just like going from survival
to maybe thriving on a very material manner.
But also probably just,
if you think there's an infinite amount of it,
and there was a good chunk of human history
where we just didn't know where the limits were.
We just assumed there was, it went on like this forever.
There was just more land.
Yeah. Yeah.
But then we got to the end of it.
Yeah.
And maybe they didn't fully know how old this stuff was,
like how long it took, but they're just like,
hey, you're chopping down a thing.
That's like the human condition right there.
Like you are, or this silliness of humans where it's like,
I know this thing took 300 years to grow
and I'm gonna chop it down, but they grow back, right?
And it's like, yeah, every 300 years.
Yeah, when I was in, I spent a little bit of time
outside of Portland, Oregon,
and there were some sick old growth forests
and it just looked other worldly.
Like I almost felt like you were just stepping
into a different world because it wasn't organized
the way woods are now.
Like when you walk through woods in Western Mass now,
they do feel a bit organized.
Cause they re-
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's, you know, having that like un-manicured feeling
is I think it's really special
cause it reminds you that you're like an animal.
Yeah, we're like, we have some property
in Southern California that's like up in these mountains
and they have these trees that are like
several thousand years old.
Like they're some of the oldest trees in the world
that are these like little pine trees.
And it was like some guys walking over
and chopping it down for firewood, just like that.
Oh, shoot.
But I mean for hundreds of years,
people have been doing that.
Just like this thing is 3000 years old.
It's older than basically every civilization
and somebody's using it for an hour of warmth.
Just the ephemerality of it is kind of insane.
Well, it's just down now.
Yeah, I think there's some people who care
and some people who don't care. There's probably more people that don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I think there's some people who care and some people who don't care.
There's probably more people that don't care than care.
And so there's this battle between those two sort of forces.
But also like how the relation between, you know,
you have the awareness, you have the information
and then as necessity grows.
And then like the importance of it just decreases
and you're like, eventually, you know,
if the world like that scene from, what was that decreases and you're like, eventually, you know, if the world, like that scene from,
what was that movie, like 2012,
and like, or everything falls apart
and the whole, and then they're in the library
just burning all the books, you know?
And it's like, cause we're dying.
That's true.
Yeah, there's a, it's hard just to tell someone
who's shivering to death that they should chop down this tree.
Sure.
But just, just the, that is like,
what's crazy to me too about Walden is,
is Thoreau talks about this,
that they would chop ice from Walden pond
and ship it to India.
Like, even at that global commerce at that period of time
was already so complex and multinational and whatever,
that like, yeah, if you are a, I don't know, you're
a, you're part of the British Raj, some army officer, and you're drinking, you know, a
cocktail with ice in it, they may have chopped that ice from Walden Pond, loaded onto a ship
in Boston Harbor, they cover it in sawdust, ship it across the ocean, and then they're taking back
whatever they're looting from India,
like spices and goods and whatever.
But what he's sort of commenting on there,
it's not just, hey, I'm retreating
from the busyness of Boston,
but that Boston has this global commerce hub,
means that everything is so interconnected and global
and he's just kind of making everything small again.
Yeah, that's wild, man.
I've never thought about that.
I imagine like, what, did it take a month to get there?
Probably, yeah.
But even just like that they could chop ice
and keep it for the journey and all of that.
That's been one of my experiences
from just like traveling around for this book launch and just for the journey and all of that. That's been, I mean, that's been one of my experiences from just like, you know, traveling around
for this book launch and just for the past few years,
like doing speaking events and being around the world,
the world's not that big.
No. It's not that big.
It's like, it takes a long time to get to Japan from here.
But other than that, like you can really get to a place
in like 14 hours.
You can basically get anywhere in the world in a day.
Yeah, but to me it's like, there's so many of us,
so much culture, but then even amidst all that culture,
like we're pretty similar.
Like there are a lot of things about the human mind
that are like, you know, we react, we have anger,
we have gone through the same series of emotions.
And I've been talking to my wife about this.
I'm like, Jitokrishna Murthy was so correct.
Like you think you're different, but we're the same.
We suffer in the same ways
and we like are moving through the same field of emotions.
Well, I think that's why probably almost all our
all religious insight, all philosophical insight
is saying like the five or six same things.
Oh yeah, totally, totally.
You go through like,
that's what's so interesting about history
is like you have these different
people who either move through philosophy or move through, you know, some type of special
experience that, you know, illuminates them in some manner.
And they keep keep revealing the same truths about how important unconditional love is,
how valuable it is, you know, to have goodwill and move through goodwill and how that supports
your own piece and the piece of the community.
Yes. And like these like fundamental things just get rediscovered over and over again to have goodwill and move through goodwill and how that supports your own piece and the piece of the community.
And these fundamental things just get rediscovered
over and over again
through different people's perspectives.
Yeah, making meaning from suffering
and how we're the cause of most of our own suffering
and that it's our opinions and expectations
that are the problem.
These are just the same sort of core insights,
whether it's Buddhist thought or Hindu thought
or Stoic thought or whatever.
Yeah, and they're very like,
I think there's a connection between like,
awakening the individual and stabilizing the community,
where like a lot of times it feels like
the two things are moving in sync,
where like during the Buddhist time,
all these people start practicing,
some of them become enlightened but a lot of it is then like turned towards like how
are we going to treat each other?
And I think that's pretty special.
Yeah.
And it's happening all over, all the time.
And whenever we forget, someone's gonna remember.
Yes.
Someone will rediscover the old idea or repopularize the old idea.
That's sort of the, largely because we,
something will happen that reminds us
of the consequences of not doing that.
Yeah, chaos.
Yeah, chaos, cruelty, you know,
things that make you feel ashamed of your country
or your, you know, community.
When you're like, oh yeah,
we built this in response to that.
Like I heard someone say that tradition,
and it's not always true, but the expression is,
tradition is a solution to a problem we forgot about.
Like we invented this to address that.
Yeah.
And also you'll see someone go like,
monogamy, it doesn't make any sense, it's not biological.
And it's like, yeah, society has, monogamy, it doesn't make any sense. It's not biological. And it's like, yeah, society's invented monogamy
so people would stop killing each other.
For the sake of order.
Yeah.
Or so things were fair, you know,
or because it was making people so profoundly unhappy
and they're choosing one form of unhappiness for another.
It's not always perfect and no one is saying they're choosing one form of unhappiness for another. It's not always perfect
and no one is saying there are good solutions,
but it's addressing a root cause.
And you rip out the tradition or the assumption
at your peril if you haven't explored
why we slowly evolved or developed that way.
Can we go on that tangent though,
which is really interesting
because it's a conversation
I've been having with myself and like with friends where I think a lot of my so I'm releasing
my fifth book and I think a lot of that that even being possible is directly tied to me
being in a long term relationship and having the stability of being with one person and
having enough satisfaction where I'm not looking at other places
and having that part of my mind just be chilled out
so that I can just focus.
Well, I hate the idea that to be successful at what you do,
you have to be like a monster
or you have to be this sort of juvenile,
arrested, development, emotionally immature person.
There are obviously a number of artists and entrepreneurs
and athletes who sort of personify that,
but I tend to find either that they're the exception
that proved the rule,
or it was immensely expensive for them
and everyone else involved.
So it seems like one fueled the other but actually it was
more
suppressing than it was
Empowering and it I wouldn't say they were paragons of happiness either now totally
And I've been thinking this in the same lines to where like the idea of the tortured artists and like that's where that and like
The epitome of art comes from. It sounds like nonsense to me. It's like I rather, you know, I'm curious to see when we're living in
this world now where there's so many people actively trying to cultivate self-awareness.
Yeah. And it's like what art transforms into and reaching these sort of almost like new heights
because it's a special time. Like people are reflecting in so many different ways. Millions
of people are, you know, using therapy to different ways. Millions of people are using therapy to their benefit.
Millions of people are meditating.
Millions of people are reading your books.
They're like trying to do some self analysis.
And I think that's pretty different
in terms of like how connected the global community is
and how like, whether you're here or you're in Singapore,
you could probably type in like,
how can I deal with my anxiety?
Like, is there someone I can talk to?
And you can find somebody within like 10, 15 miles,
you know, pretty special.
Yeah, that's true.
I mean, look, athletes used to just get by on raw talent.
Even not that long ago, you see pictures of them
and they're smoking in the locker room
or they were partying all night before.
Or I mean, look, baseball players used to play
in wool uniforms.
So, like, they were obviously good,
and the product on the field was pretty impressive.
But what we slowly, steadily, we realized,
oh, hey, if you play in this fabric versus that fabric,
you perform better.
Hey, like, the NBA has limited the amount
of back-to-back road games because the players play worse
when their sleep is disrupted.
Like we just realized these things.
And so the idea that like the artist doesn't become
professionalized and have to take care of their habits,
you know?
And like when you look at older musicians,
the shoe choice they have is because they're worried
about their bad, you know, they're just,
they're doing it for like, when everyone died at 27,
because they OD'd, what it meant to be a rock star
was different than if you can theoretically do it
till you're 85.
And if your goal is to do it till you your 85, you have to rethink some of your
assumptions and your practices.
And yeah, the idea that you should just be treating your body like a garbage can
and that that's going to be conducive to creative expression strikes me as
anachronistic.
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I'm so curious.
I mean, just cause I have you here for this moment and it's a, I'm curious, can
we talk about the relationship between creating something that you hopefully,
you hopefully,
hopefully brings value to people,
like putting a book together
and what your relationship is to marketing that book.
Cause I think there's like-
You're in it now, aren't you?
Yeah, I'm in it right now.
And I know like we're always in it together.
Like I released a book
and you release a book two months after.
Whenever I write, put together a book,
I tell my editor, Matthew Benjamin, I'm like,
can you find out when Ryan's releasing his next book to make sure it's not on the same week? And I'm like, together a book. I tell my editor, Matthew Benjamin, I'm like, can you find out when Ryan's releasing his next book
to make sure it's not on the same week?
You know, and I'm like, careful with this.
I'm like, there's a few people.
I'm like, we have to kind of be mindful
of when things are, you know?
But you must have learned so much about marketing.
I know I've learned a bunch about it too.
It's not the thing I wanted to learn.
It's not the reason why.
What do you feel like you've learned?
I've learned how to like, honestly,
just the different platforms,
how to use them in concert to be able to get the most eyes
to even realize that I have a new book out.
Yeah. Because, you know,
it'll be like three, four, five months
and people will still be,
people who are really committed to your work,
they'll be like, oh, I didn't know you had a new book out.
Sure. So there's a lot to it.
I mean, people tell me they just read The Obstacles Away.
It's been out for 12 years or whatever.
It's new to someone if they haven't heard of it.
I do think it's for both of us,
what we do is crazy in the sense that like,
you do poetry and people are like,
poetry, nobody reads poetry anymore.
And I do ancient philosophy and it's like,
ancient philosophy.
And so you already have this uphill battle
and that there's a perception that what you do
is irrelevant or quaint or silly
or just not what people want.
And so you have to figure out,
like marketing to me is not like degrading,
it's the process of,
it's like another puzzle you have to figure out.
Like you have to figure out,
how do I get the words to go in this order and rhyme and say what I want.
That's like the constraints.
And I feel like I have what I wanna say
and what I'm excited about.
And then you have the world
that's totally indifferent to that.
And you have to figure out how to get your vision
to align and be interesting to someone else.
And some of that's just raw, like, you know,
boot leather going on shows and talking,
but a lot of it's like, how do you make the thing
that's relevant now?
And then also hopefully, so it's both that you,
how do you make a thing that's both timely and timeless?
That's both a creative puzzle, but also a marketing puzzle.
Yeah, I had one of these original sort of moments
of inspiration before I released my first book.
I used to, I was living in New York City
and I would go to the Strand bookstore a lot.
And in the Strand bookstore, they have these like two tables
right at the front.
There's like the best of the best.
And then there's also like timeless classics.
And I'm like, I need to figure out how to write something
that helps people so much that it ends up
on one of these two tables as like a personal goal.
And what's been interesting is so I'm releasing
my second nonfiction book.
So I've been stepping a little bit away from poetry,
but in doing the second nonfiction book,
I had the clear idea of what I wanted to write about,
but then I had
learned enough about sort of, you know, human psychology and how to like structure chapters in
a way where it's like the person who's reading it is feeling one victory after another. You know,
so it's not like this giant slog. So you're not only getting good information, but you're working
with the mind as opposed to against it. Do you think about that too? Yeah, no, my books are
deliberately short.
And like I just did this four book series
on the cardinal virtues.
I could have just written one epic book
on the cardinal virtues,
but four books allows someone to breeze
through each one of them.
And then it feels like you're creating the sensation of,
wow, that went by really fast, it was very compelling.
And that's also, it's true,
but it's also because it's half the length of a normal book,
whatever, right?
And so thinking, I think, like, look,
there's lots of forms of poetry you could do,
but I think you probably gravitate towards,
like when I read your poems on Instagram,
I'm not scrolling like 10 slides.
It's one, I'm getting it, most of it there.
Like some of them are longer, but when I read poetry
and like I hear about some poem and I look it up
and it comes up on Poetry of the Order or whatever,
if I'm like scrolling, I'm like,
I'm probably not gonna read this.
You know?
Like, but like, that's just like a fact on the ground.
You have to figure out how to like navigate.
And do you feel like there's,
like when you sort of like rev yourself up
for like another launch, you know, it feels,
in some ways I'm reaching this point where I am obviously,
like this book that I just wrote, How to Love Better,
I personally think it's better than all the other books
that ever and just because it's taken a long time to-
Otherwise you're going the wrong direction.
Right, but it's taken time to like,
to honestly just learn how to be clearer.
Like how to like just be more clear,
how to like use sentence structure in a better way.
And in the material, like it's taken a long time,
you know, so many thousands of hours of meditating
and all that stuff to be able to even fix
my personal relationship with my wife
and also take that understanding and put it into the book.
But then it's like another launch
and a launch is like a little bit of a battle.
You know, it's like you're you're battling the algorithm.
You have to maintain your own stamina.
You have to then go on tour.
And it's like, I'm like, dang, how many more of these am I going to do?
Like I'm like willfully entering a battle here.
Well, the fantasy is you just make something that's so good that it just does it.
And I think that that misleads a lot of people.
It's it's an it's myth, like the tortured artist.
It's a myth like the, you know,
Kerouac sat down and wrote on the road
in 24 hours on a bender.
And it's like, no, almost everything that is impressive
was methodically and gradually built.
And painstakingly so. was methodically and gradually built. Yeah.
And painstakingly so.
And like a launch is, it would be amazing
that you put out the book
and then you give it to your publisher
and then they call you and they go,
the New York Times is doing a front page excerpt
and a trend, you know, like,
and then you're on these five morning shows
and then all the, and I've never, never done a book where I felt like
I got all the things that I thought were possible to get.
Yeah. You know?
And so you're always kind of in this street fight
for attention.
And you also, I think early in your career,
you're like, I want to go on a book tour.
Yeah.
I want a publisher to send me on a tour.
And then you do it. and then you're like,
I hope I never have to do that again.
I know to be able to like stay at home
and like be able to put a book out.
I mean, it's nice to be able to connect with people honestly
like in person and like hear the stories,
but it's also taxing.
I think though that like when I went into writing,
I also felt that same thing like, you know,
not too far from each other. Rupik Hauer releases Milk and Honey. James Clear releases Atomic
Habits. And these books just sell 10 million copies on their own, you know, like, and they
just keep growing.
I know James very well. And we have this mastermind group. We met every year for three years.
And he paid for it all out of his own pocket.
He invited all these different authors,
a bunch of people you've heard.
And he just literally downloaded everything
that everyone had learned into that launch,
which then, you know, he did like 200,
like he built an email list for years.
He did like 200 podcasts, he did media.
It was as good as I've ever seen anyone do it.
And then people are like, that book came out of nowhere
and it didn't come out of nowhere at all.
He's the only guy who anytime I'm ever ahead of him
on any list, he reaches out.
He's like, congratulations.
And what did you do?
You know, like, he's always trying to learn
and it's really cool seeing that.
But I brought that up because not having that experience has honestly been really
liberating where it's like having one book that's just like a major bestseller,
you know, seems like an ideal.
But honestly, it's been fun, like fine tuning the craft, like learning how to
like do a better, like continuing to grow as an individual and understand like,
what am I learning that's really affecting my life in a better way?
And like putting it together in a, you know,
a set of books that can like hold much more weight
than just one individual book
that hopefully takes off to the stars.
Well, you think you want it.
Like you think you want it all upfront in a lump sum
and you want to get every break that you can.
And maybe, I don't know, I haven't experienced it,
but it's probably not as good for you.
Do you know what I mean?
It's probably better to,
look, fame and success are a poison.
Highly dissatisfying.
No, I mean, look, it kills people.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's obviously, at some level, it is potent.
And so the question is how big of a dose
do you wanna take all at once?
It's probably something that you wanna take slowly
and steadily over time and build up a tolerance
and earn immunity for it.
Like Ego is the Enemy came out basically the same month
as The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.
And yeah, that book probably cumulatively has sold
more than all of my books combined.
I've done all right, but like,
if you had asked me what I wanted,
I probably would have said that.
But Mark's been really honest about this,
like it's a lot, it's destabilizing and disorienting.
And I mean, it's lucrative, but it's a lot.
And I think everyone wants kind of transformative,
you know, generational success.
And actually you probably want about 50%.
You know, like, and you want it st-
you want it doled out steadily.
Because it's just the chances of it killing you or less
or breaking you or less.
Just totally destabilizing you.
I think that's one of the things that I really like about
sort of the newer translations coming out of the Buddhist teaching where, you know,
he would refer to life as dukkha, this word that means suffering, misery, right?
But another way to translate it is life is dissatisfying, life is stressful.
And that's much more relatable. And in my experience, I've both been extremely poor,
like grew up extremely poor growing up in Boston
where my mom, she cleaned houses,
my dad worked at a supermarket.
And then now since writing my fifth book,
I've had success.
I'm not like crazy wealthy, but I'm not poor anymore.
And after having experienced both things,
they're both quite dissatisfying.
They're both like, it's like, yeah,
the mind is just like, when the mind especially is untrained,
it just is constantly reaching out for more.
And especially if so many people are turning the light on you
and giving you all that attention,
and then the mind is like, okay, more, more, more,
like a crab that's endlessly trying to grab.
Well, no one feels like they've done it.
Like, that's what's interesting,
that James is messaging you
and going, hey, what have you done?
He's not like, there's obviously a humility in that.
Like always learning.
Which has only happened twice, by the way.
Like only two times I've gone ahead.
I think every time I, every,
there's a number one plaque up there.
James was the week before and the week after.
And the week after, yeah.
Which is also, there's something helpful about that too.
You realize like, okay, this thing that I worked
all these years for, directed all this accomplishment,
I did it.
That's a normal week for someone else.
Right?
Like my best week ever was a slight deviation
above his normal.
Yeah, these 30,000, 40,000 copies
that took so much work for a regular week.
And you have that experience in life.
You'll meet someone who's usually they were
then like finance or business or whatever.
And they go, you realize, oh, this person,
this person has spent on a house remodel
every dollar that I've ever earned in my life.
What is my giant, enormous,
I'm piling all my accomplishments up in one thing.
They're like, I did that. There's actually a famous exchange between Joseph Heller
and Kurt Vonnegut. They're at this party of this billionaire. Do you know this story?
No, tell me about it.
They're at the party of this billionaire and Vonnegut is teasing Joseph Heller. And he says,
this guy, there is this house in Long Island, this guy probably made more money this week than catch 22 has made in its entire run.
And Heller says, yeah, that's true, but I have something that this person will never have.
And Vonnegut says, what could that possibly be? And he says, I have enough.
And so what is interesting when you meet very rich and powerful and important people
is how many of them,
or rather how few of them feel that.
Like they don't feel rich and powerful or sufficient
or that they've done it.
They feel exactly like you feel,
which is like they're measuring themselves
against someone else.
And so to get to a point of enoughness or to feel good
or to just feel proud of yourself
is actually an extraordinary accomplishment and probably the rarer form of wealth.
I mean, you can't pay for it.
No.
You can't pay for it. And I've seen that happen a lot where,
you know, I'm friends with Jack Kornfield and he has, you would not believe who called him.
Yeah.
You know, it's like any time, I think probably in the past like 20, 30 years, when some,
You know, it's like anytime I think probably pat in the past like 20, 30 years when some
You know billionaire gets a divorce like they call him. Yeah, cuz he like has peace in his mind Yes
and
I've you know
I've gone to dinners and like been around like people who are really wealthy and like and you can feel their agitation
You can just feel like how they're looking at you trying to listen to your words, but they want what's deeper than the words
They want the peace that's inside
that you can't really transmit.
And the answer is usually like, you know,
I feel the way I feel, I have a long way to go,
but I feel the way I feel because like,
I meditated for like 12, 13,000 hours, you know,
like I put a lot of time into it.
Sure.
It's also funny you meet those people and you know,
the lunch or the dinner goes on,
and then at a certain point, they tell you their book idea.
Because, so it's like they have all the money or the dinner goes on. And then at a certain point, they tell you their book idea. Because, so it's like, they have all the money in the world
and what do they do?
They would like to do what you do.
Yeah.
And that was something that I realized really early on.
This is more an analogy
than anything specific about writing.
But like, you tend to be jealous of what other people have
and you don't think about the people
that would kill to do what you do and how lucky you are.
If you found something that is worth doing,
that people think is worth doing and you get to do that,
that's the lottery, that's the jackpot.
And so you go, oh, these people,
their dream is to do what I get to do.
And did I wake up this morning and feel
like I have an incredible, rare, sought after thing?
No, I just was like, oh, I gotta go do this.
And when you can remember that, it helps you.
I mean, what you don't have often looks very shiny.
And I've heard the same thing from a friend.
She was like, at the time when she told me this,
she was like, at the time when she told me that she was like,
you know, the number two at this like billion dollar crypto firm.
She was like getting her book together.
She was like, I can't wait to be like you.
And I was like, what are you talking about?
I'm like, are you serious?
Like, you also say, like I'm, my context is like,
one of my jobs feels like I'm,
it's my job to pull my family out of poverty.
We immigrated from Ecuador,
so when I'm listening to this really wealthy person
be like, oh, I wanna do what you're doing,
I'm like, that's wild because I'm trying to lift my family up
and have that sense of economic stability
so that we don't have to struggle anymore.
For you, it's striving,
to her, it's tranquility and peace.
Yeah, yeah, it's really funny.
It's funny too, because you live in the woods,
I live on this ranch.
Like whenever people, if you have like sort of a weird life,
like you don't just live in a, you know,
a condo tower somewhere and people hear about it,
they always do something like,
oh, I've always wanted to do that.
Or that's my dream someday.
And you go, yeah, it's not like I, you know,
I didn't have to like get through Navy Seal Hell Week
to live on this farm. Like it's, anyone can do it. It was a choice. Yeah, it's not like I, you know, I didn't have to like get through Navy Seal Hell Week to live on this farm.
Like it's, anyone can do it.
It was a choice.
Yeah, it was a choice.
Yeah, no, and it was so interesting too, that moment.
Like my wife and I were holding it as this like dream
that we were gonna walk into at some point.
And then the first wave of the pandemic hits
and we're both like,
let's get out of this tiny ass apartment.
Like, let's just go, let's go to the woods. Like we've always wanted to.
And it's been the best because we ended up moving
near the meditation center that we always go to.
And over there, there's just like so many people
who have meditated for 20, 30, 40, 50 years.
Like, you know, literally like people who are walking around
have put like 30, 40,000 hours of meditation
into their minds.
Like their minds are like weapons,
like so highly cultivated,
but they're the most peaceful people in the world.
So it was nice not only, you know,
getting some sense of external tranquility
to support internal tranquility,
but the people that we were around
were just very different than, you know,
the half-hazardness of New York City.
Yeah, it's not like getting accepted to Harvard.
Like you can move anywhere.
Yeah.
You could just do it.
And often it's cheaper and easier
than whatever you're currently doing.
Oh my God.
Just requires making that choice.
Especially when you move out of the city.
Like when we got our house, we were like,
it felt like we were living in a castle.
Like we went from this tiny one-bedroom apartment
and then we're paying the same for a mortgage
and we're like, you know, five acres of land
and all that and it's just.
No, my ranch, I mean, obviously it's different now
because Austin's blown up, but my ranch,
my first mortgage payment on my ranch
was less than a studio apartment we had renting
in New York City.
And so, yeah, when people have always wanted to do that,
it's like, I think it's easier than I think it is.
Did you ever live in New York?
I did.
For how long?
Like less than a year.
Yeah, you're out of there.
I hate it.
I hate the idea that to be an artist,
you have to go live in a noisy, dirty, cement place.
New York was special.
I think the one thing that I was happy about was,
I did my seven years of hard time there and
When we got there we had nothing and then when we left we were we had a little bit of something
But what I did have was the inspiration and the support from sort of key people like sure I had um, my first like a
Self-published book release. Yeah, my friend Elena Brower
She co-hosted that event and, she co-hosted that event.
And because she co-hosted that event with me,
it opened up the rest of the country to me.
People were like, come, come to DC, come to LA,
do all these things and these key little moments.
I got my first literary agent there.
And then when I felt like I had enough sort of connections
where, because I don't like networking.
Networking to me is pretty lame.
I'd rather make strong friendships
and then it feels reciprocal that we can support each other.
But once I had those friendships and I was like,
oh, I'll have these friendships whether I live here or not.
Let's just bounce, let's go.
Well, one thing I wanted to talk to you about
is because I think people,
they think this with Buddhism too,
but when people think stoicism,
they think it's like the absence of emotion, right?
They think like, if you meditate enough,
you have transcended the feeling.
But this is one of my favorite poems, you have this one.
Emotional maturity is not about being above your emotions.
It is about being able to sit with the rawness
of every feeling without letting it take over your mind and actions.
It's about facing storms without getting blown away.
I think the distinction between having the emotion
and then acting on the emotion
or having the emotion and being overwhelmed by the emotion,
that's the best you can hope for.
There's no point where they cease to exist.
No, they don't cease to exist at all.
And I think what's hard for people is that we often live
in a very sort of like we're trapped in our own black
and white thinking where it's either yes or no.
And it's these solid either ors
and what stoicism introduces you,
what the Buddhist teaching introduces you to
is basically like the gray area, the subtlety.
And that's something that if I had not experienced it myself,
I wouldn't know it exists,
but you can feel the difficulty of a tense emotion,
honor that it's there, you're not suppressing it,
you're feeling it, but you're not acting out on it.
You're simply just observing it, giving yourself time.
And then you start seeing all the different options
that you can take.
I can either act on this dense emotion
and do an action that I might later regret,
or I could just slow down
and choose something a little more skillful.
But that openness of mind,
like I just was oblivious to it until I, you know,
cultivated it.
Well, I think the reason people struggle with it,
obviously on the personal level, it's difficult,
but the example that I get all the time is I go,
well, what about an injustice?
Shouldn't I be angry about the injustices in the world?
And it's only if you can understand this distinction
between having the feeling
and then being sort of driven by the passion
that it makes sense because yes, the injustice,
the cruelty that you saw, the unfairness,
the persecution, the corruption, whatever cruelty that you saw, the unfairness, the persecution, the corruption, whatever,
that should make you angry.
But if you are going to defeat evil
or resolve an injustice or bring change in the world,
if you are blinded by your anger,
it's precisely because it is such a profound injustice
or a big problem that you have to have
all your wits about you.
Absolutely. I mean, I couldn't agree more because it is such a profound injustice or a big problem that you have to have all your wits about you.
Absolutely.
I mean, I couldn't agree more
because if you see someone doing something wrong
and you need to stop them,
are you going to stop them with a mind
that's riddled with stress
and that's riddled with fear, hate, anger,
whatever it could be,
but then your perception's immediately so unclear,
your strategic thinking goes out the window,
and then you're just, you know,
probably end up acting with brutality,
with the same brutality that you saw.
So I think it's much more skillful to, you know,
this is wrong, this needs to be stopped,
and you can also, and this is like sort of like the,
really asking a person to step up to the higher level,
which is like, you can have compassion for the person
that's committing harm too. You know, compassion for the person that's committing harm too.
Yes.
You know, compassion for the person who's being hurt,
compassion for the person who's doing the harm,
because they're like, they're rolling in their ignorance.
Like, can you imagine living in their mind,
in a mind that's so full of tension
that they're willingly causing harm to another person?
That's horrific.
Or just like, I try to remind myself,
like they're not getting away with anything
because that's one of the things
that like when someone speaks to us poorly
or that you see someone cheating and getting ahead,
one of the things that triggers in us,
it's not just the injustice,
but the sense that the universe is unfair
and that they're getting away with this thing,
that they're not being punished.
And if you can step back and you understand history,
you understand psychology, you have your own experiences,
you realize, oh, they're not getting away with anything.
They might be winning the contest or getting the money
or getting the thing that they said they want,
but you also understand that this person is incapable
of getting what they actually want,
which is some semblance of peace or happiness or worth,
trying to treat some wound that they have,
which is feeling good.
You realize like they're not getting away with anything
because it sucks to be them.
No, they're living in the torture of their own mind.
And I would never want that for myself or for other people.
So I think when you really take a step back,
it's like, you know, someone who who's just decimating a population,
who's just doing some type of harm
and then either on the individual level or on a group level,
like it takes a lot of internal intensity
to even produce that action into the world.
And you don't wanna live like that.
That's just like, I don't know, sadness.
Yeah, and look, philosophy isn't this like math equation where you do this and then the variables cancel each other out and then you don't wanna live like that. That's just like, I don't know, sadness. Yeah, and look, philosophy isn't this like math equation
where you do this and then the variables
cancel each other out and then you don't have to do anything.
Like you can have empathy and understand,
okay, it's actually tortured to be this person,
it sucks to be them.
I'm still as a prosecutor have to bring them up on charges,
as a friend, I still have to speak up.
You still have to do something about the problem, but you just understand that it helps mitigate
that distress you feel when you're like,
hey, this is breaking the order of the universe
that this person isn't doing their fair share
and being rewarded for it.
This person is actually shitty
and they have a good reputation.
That kind of bothers us because it doesn't line up.
Yeah.
And it's like, no, no, no,
there's just another part of it that you're not seeing,
which is that it sucks to be them.
And there's so much that you're not seeing too.
Like I think there are times where,
and I'm not trying to name any names,
but there are times where like people have public personas,
but then like us who write books and do things,
you know, we all like know about each other.
People will tell you like, you know, you don't wanna be around that person. Yeah. And like, so even books and do things, we all like know about each other. People will tell you like,
you don't wanna be around that person.
And like, so even though outwardly they look,
so nice and kind in the background,
I'm sure people are saying the same things about Diddy.
They're like, you just be careful.
Like don't stay at the party too late.
But the actions reverberate.
People see them, people feel them,
and then they talk about them.
So I think whether you win or lose one battle, I think if you're causing a lot of harm,
like not that the harm is necessarily going to come back to you in the same way, but people are
going to know about it and they're going to change their actions around you. You're doing the violence
to yourself also. It doesn't mean you're necessarily suffering to the same degree that other people you're making suffer, but like it sucks to be you.
Yeah.
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It's really challenging, I think, with, you know, what you see online,
how you think these like ideals of people are. And I'm sure you get this a lot, too.
But I think one of the things that I find challenging about
putting myself out there and doing events is like, I don't want anybody putting me on a pedestal.
Like there's literally nothing special about like I'm not perfect. I'm not enlightened. You know, I like to meditate, but I'm still very much on the road.
I make mistakes, fully imperfect person, have so much to learn. but I think sometimes just because people are accustomed to seeing your face, they give almost like,
not just the trust to read your book,
but like a higher level of trust where like,
Ryan definitely has all the answers, you know?
Yes.
I mean, that's just in some ways just misunderstanding
what art and philosophy is,
which is you're crediting the person
with the thing that they're a conduit for.
Yeah, exactly.
We're learning, like literally actively learning.
And I think that's like, it's tough because part of us,
we have this, you know, it's funny
because it like reminds me of like Freud.
It's like, we wanna create these like images in our minds
that are the perfect mom, the perfect dad,
and like these people who can who we can truly depend on,
but like we're all these highly imperfect human beings,
we're figuring it out.
Yeah, no, there's a difference also
between articulating something
and fully integrating it into your own life.
And so we're all sort of on this spectrum
and sometimes we can articulate it very beautifully
and then struggle to apply it.
Sometimes we can apply it,
but have trouble articulating it.
And yeah, you don't wanna assume a person is like
what they produce.
Yeah, and they could be similar to it,
but I think that's why I really enjoy,
I have these two people who I think of as my teachers,
who I meditate with and they, neither of them have written books.
Neither of them have, you know, they don't go on podcasts.
They don't have Instagrams.
Like their lives are strictly devoted to service.
Like, you know, one's 50 and has probably meditated around 30,000 hours.
The other one's in his mid seventies.
And to me, like what I find inspiring about these individuals is not only are they devoted
to service and helping others,
but they live very simple lives
and they're like, they're not afraid of death.
They're not like, so like these key things where I'm like,
I'm still cultivating that strength that they have.
And like, they may still be cultivating this within them,
but when we're talking,
when I'm receiving inspiration from them,
when I'm receiving direction from them,
I'm just like, you have all the things
that I really need to develop.
Yeah, at some level they've conquered
whatever part of it in you or in most artists,
that's like, I hope this does well.
Like, I need people to know this.
Yeah. You know what I mean?
Yeah. it's like, I hope this does well. Like I need people to know this. You know what I mean? That there is a sort of a monkish level
you can get to where you are totally self-contained.
And like the world would be in not a great shape
if everyone got there because, you know,
actually a whole part of sort of Buddha's breakthrough
is the realization that you can't pursue
your enlightenment on your own.
This is also the allegory of Plato's cave,
which is the idea that you discover something,
do not then have an obligation to teach it and share it,
but the line between the obligation to teach and share
and the ego is always hard to discern.
It is hard, it is hard, but I'm grateful to the people
who are at the sort of like the far ends of the bell curve.
You know, like James Clear, like I'm so happy
that we even have this model of like,
I'm grateful that we have a Jordan to know where we're going,
you know, to know like, what is it even like,
I can put more energy and like sort of maneuver things
in different ways.
You thought the market was this,
you thought the ceiling on the market was here
and actually there's a whole,
clearly a whole group of people
that are not normally reachable that you can reach.
Yeah, I mean, even when all that stuff came out about,
you know, between the trial,
between the different publishing agencies
and like all the information came out
and it's literally like 200 authors
that sell enough books to pay off the advances of all the other authors.
Like it's wild just like knowing that information.
I was talking to a friend about how the publishing industry, it's just an investment firm.
They're just they're basically VC firms.
They make tiny little bets and maybe five percent of those bets are going to work out and pay everything back.
And I'm like, well, I'm fortunate that I'm on that end that like I can sell books
and like the books are good enough that, you know, you'll share them with a friend.
Yeah.
But it's also like a very haphazard relationship where, like I talked to my
wife the other day and I'm like, I, I almost feel like, um, like a young
basketball star, you know, you get invited up to these like rooms
with the CEO of like, you know, the publishing house.
And I know I'm only being invited because I can sell.
Like I can, you know, we have this relationship
where we're both benefiting from these books being out.
But-
No, you're like a mine that they've, that's struck gold.
And they're just trying to extract everything they can of it.
And then they'll, as soon as it goes dry,
they'll cover you up and watch the next person.
But I'm grateful for it.
Like I'm also happy like we work together
because I love, you know, for the publishing house
I'm a part of and all that stuff.
But I know that the relationship wouldn't work
if I wasn't selling.
Yeah.
Well, and the metaphor of like, hey, I have this thought,
I'm not gonna attach my identity to it.
I'm not gonna identify with it. Is also true for success, which is like,
Hey, I'm having the success.
The success can't have me.
Like at this moment, I am New York Times bestselling author.
At this moment, I am delivering certain amounts of revenue or sales or reach,
but it's not me because it can go away at any time.
And it, it a hundred percent will go away.
It totally will.
I will die.
At some point.
Yeah, or the well will be tapped out.
So this is what I say to people all the time.
And sometimes it makes them uncomfortable.
I'm like, it's going well right now.
Like things are going well right now.
I don't know how it's going to be, you know,
when I drop book seven, book eight,
it may be better, it may be worse.
I have no idea.
But what I do understand is that everything
is fundamentally impermanent.
At the atomic level, the sort of the biological level,
the cosmological level, everything is just flowing
in permanence, it feels like this universe
is just one giant river that flows forward.
And you wanna work with that as opposed to against it.
And what that really means is
you have to embrace impermanence.
And I mean, the Buddhist teaching is,
just revolves around this idea of embracing impermanence
that helps you understand why life is dissatisfying
and then helps you understand why
the sense of self isn't fundamentally real.
But does your boy Marcus Aurelius
talk about embracing impermanence?
Yeah, yeah, he talks about how everything in your life
came from change, including existence, right?
So at one point you didn't exist, and now you exist.
And then what happens is then you fear death,
which is just the same change happening again.
Or everything in your life that you like
was a result of change, right?
Like something wasn't permanent, And so you got this.
The problem is the irrational thing that we do
is even though to get where we are
or to get things the way we liked them,
we had to embrace and in fact seek out all sorts of change.
It's like, we think that we can choose
how much change we get.
Like we're like, hey, I'm stopping now.
Like this is when I take my cards off the table
and I get to keep my winnings and stay.
And that's not how it works.
It's always in this state of flux.
And what I try to remind myself of,
cause that impermanence can be scary.
You're just like, oh, you can take away the success.
And that's true, right?
They could take away your success.
They could take away your children.
They can take away your happiness. They can take away your children, they can take away your happiness,
they can take away your health,
all that stuff can go away.
But what I try to remind myself in the Stoke's Art
is explicit on this,
but I think it's fundamentally a Stoke idea.
I go, they can take away everything that I have,
except the fact that I had it.
So like, you can't take away that I did it,
and that you can't take away this moment
where I'm looking around and my kids are playing and my wife and I are sitting, or I, and that you can't take away this moment where I'm looking around and my kids are playing
and my wife and I are sitting or I just finished this meal
or I just had this great day of writing.
You can take away the product, the thing,
but you can't take away that I had it, that I did it,
the feeling that I had in that moment.
That's the one thing that I possess.
Man, that's so powerful.
Cause it hit me once when I was in the middle of a,
like I go away to meditate for like 30, 45 days.
And when you're away there meditating,
you're there in the darkness of the meditation cell.
Because you'll meditate with a group,
and you also have these little rooms inside of a pagoda,
which is basically a closet.
And so it's like fully dark.
And you're there meditating maybe for like 10, 11 hours
a day.
But it hit me so hard that like our universe is not just one of change but
That change directly describes motion like our universe is one of motion. Everything is moving. And what does that mean? Is that?
Nothing is ever static like it's constantly dynamic and because of that dynamism
We have life, you know And I think that dynamism, we have life.
And I think that it made me think,
so similar to what you were talking about,
it hit me that we have this combative relationship
with change where we fear it
because we're afraid of what it will take away,
but we'd never have a relationship of gratitude
towards change because it gave us the people that we love.
Like the fact that the earth even exists
is because of change.
The fact that we even have these opportunities
to be around our parents,
even though our parents may die someday,
we got to know them, we got to learn from them.
We got to embody these characteristics
that then we can hopefully give
to our friends and children someday.
So to me, it's like,
it feels really important to balance out
our relationship with change.
Like, yeah, change can be scary sometimes,
but man, everything we have is because of change.
Yeah, there's still talk about how, like,
everything is coming in and out of being,
time is zipping by us, you know,
everything is in a state of motion.
And Marx really says,
so it would take an idiot to feel angry at any of this,
as if any of it lasts, right?
There's like a Southern expression,
you don't like the weather, we'll just wait a minute, you know, because it's it lasts, right? There's like a Southern expression, you don't like the weather, well, just wait a minute,
because it's always changing, right?
And so I think in the moment,
you don't like where we are politically,
you don't like some state in your relationship,
you don't like what your neighbor is,
you don't like any of this stuff, don't worry,
it'll change, you know?
None of the things actually lasts
in both in a sort of a cosmic sense.
Like we definitely know that.
And then also think about times you've had that feeling
before when you were like, I'm sick of it.
It's too much.
It can't go on like this.
What happened?
It didn't go on like that.
Like everything is constantly changing and evolving.
Sometimes it's getting worse by the way.
Yeah.
So maybe you might be, there might be a point
where in the future you feel grateful
for this thing you were lamenting
and despairing about right now.
But for the most part, the things that are distressing you
and making you, like I think about like whenever
I'm like really sick, when I'm just like on the floor
in the bathroom, hugging the toilet or whatever.
And I go like, it can't go on like this.
I think about something that Mark Shulis talks about or whatever. And I go like, you can't go on like this.
I think about something that Mark Shulis talks about
in meditations where he goes like,
he was a person who had these sort of chronic
health issues.
He just goes like,
the future is gonna take care of this
because either you're gonna die and it'll go away
or you'll get over it and it'll be gone.
And just going like, oh yeah,
even like those moments where you're like,
this is horrible.
Where is that now?
That feeling is gone.
Yeah, so this reminds me,
and now I'm like really curious
about the relationship here.
So one of the things that the Buddha talks about a lot
is the danger of being attached to your view.
Basically meaning your opinion.
And he talked about it, there are, you know,
there's 80,000 suttas that sort of take his
teaching and divide it up.
And in so many of them, he's constantly hammering out about how the attachment to views will
not only create your own suffering, but it'll create discord.
And even right before he passed away, he warned the Sangha, the community of enlightened monks,
he was like, the attachment to views has the potential to divide the Sangha.
Dogma, basically.
It's one of the last things that he said before he left,
you know, before he passed away.
And I'm really curious about like, you know,
in terms of the stoic view on being a,
because you have to be a productive individual
and be able to organize yourself in a skillful manner,
but then the attachment to views, I mean, it just divides.
It creates discord in my mind.
Whenever I feel myself clinging to a view and I hear it.
By that, you mean like an opinion or?
Yeah, an opinion.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think one of the fascinating ideas from Mark's Realizes
is, you know, we always have the power to have no opinion.
Oh, sick.
But I think about how many powerful people
actually don't have that power.
Yeah.
Like, can you wake up and not think this is my thing
to insert myself into,
or that the world is dying to hear my opinion about this?
I mean, Elon Musk can't do that.
You know, like he wakes up every day,
and for all of his power and wealth,
he is a ceaseless opinion haver.
And it is the source,
not just of much of the harm that he does, but it's also the
source of his unhappiness, which he's been very clear about, right? That no one would actually
want to be him if they knew what it was like. And so I do think about how can I have fewer opinions
and understanding the ceaselessness of change helps you with that because you're like,
why am I having an opinion about a thing that is probably gonna resolve itself or won't even be,
like how many fads have I had opinions about
that the fad took care of the need to have an opinion about it
because it's not a thing anymore?
No, I think it's, wow, I think of the attachment to views
and just like getting stuck in your own opinion.
It's so detrimental to your inner relationship and your interpersonal
relationship.
And what I've been trying to do is lately is when I hear someone say
something that I, my mind doesn't agree with, instead of turning it into a
debate, I just say, tell me more because like one, do I even need to prove my
point? Like, is this, if you think about it, like it's not worth fighting every
battle for sure. Like sometimes just like here where you think about it, like, it's not worth fighting every battle for sure.
Like sometimes just like here where the person is coming from, and that's been so
helpful. And I think about that in terms of like our country, right?
Where every time the other side wins, the one, the side that lost feels like the
world is ending. Everything is over.
Everything is totally gone.
And I've been thinking about things in the context of like, you know, I was born
in Ecuador and, and why I kill Ecuador. So it's devastatingly poor there.
Yeah. It's way we came to the United States when I was four years old, because my parents wanted to
roll the dice. Literally, they don't know what's going to happen here. They're rolling the dice,
maybe the chance at a better life. And when I think about American politics and how fearful
the two sides are of each other,
I'm always thinking like, do you guys know that your post office works?
That your banks work? Yeah.
Like you put your money in the bank and you can take the money out that you have pipes underground.
Like there are so many things that we forget to protect, like just basic American stability.
The fact that our businesses can grow, the fact that you can have property.
Like these are things where,
Ecuador will go through periods where it's calm
for like eight years and then boom,
everything gets washed away
and everyone, people are starting from a clean slate.
And-
I mean, the tricky thing is you can fuck that up, right?
So that's the stakes of it.
Totally.
You can fuck it up.
But yeah, I think it's like, look,
do I, nobody consulted me on whether we should change it
to the Gulf of America or Mexico.
And the fact that it's been called one thing
for 600 years, you know,
it's not like that was an honorable name for it either.
That was like Spanish conquistadors deciding
that it was called this, right?
Like there are things that are stupid
that if you'd asked me, I would have done them differently,
but it doesn't need to get me worked up, right?
And then I think where maybe sometimes people's problem
with philosophy is they think, well, you know,
you're doing this sort of mind trick on everything
and saying that nothing matters.
I think philosophy in the real world is like,
how do you do that on trivial semantic things?
Like, what are we gonna call this body of water?
Which by the way, you can call it whatever the fuck you want.
What Google Maps says, it doesn't matter, right?
It can be whatever you want it to be.
You can call it your personal thing.
You can call it the native name, whatever.
And then how do you save that energy
and how do we collectively save our energy
so we can come together and talk about
and deal with actual injustices or real problems?
During the times of, I mean,
there were different stoic periods, I imagine.
And I know, you know, Marcus Aurelius as a stoic, and even when he was living in those imperial times, like he was in charge.
Yeah. Right by far. But were there other stoics that lived in times where there were checks and balances?
Because that's what I'm thinking about in terms of like America now.
Well, the better example, so Cato, that probably widely respected,
but Cato is your favorite Stoics favorite Stoic.
He is the one that the other Stoics admire,
not because of how wonderful his writing was,
but because of his example.
And Cato lives in the decline of
and fall of the Roman Republic.
Like he is there when Julius Caesar
overthrows the Roman Republic.
So he watches the thing that he dedicates his life
to get taken and he doesn't do it, you know,
it's not like he just says, oh, it is what it is, you know,
like he's philosophically involved in the thick of it,
but he watches that happen and he has to deal with that.
I think about like people think of Socrates as living
in this sort of golden age of Athens.
Socrates lived in a time known as the time of the 30 tyrants.
And that was after the Peloponnesian war,
which was a war that raged for almost his whole life.
And so this idea that these philosophers lived
in this like wonderful time is just historical nonsense.
I mean, like Confucius didn't live in this quaint, you know.
The same thing about the Buddha.
Yeah, like lovely Chinese landscape painting.
Like he was surrounded by corruption and disease
and death and all this awful shit.
And almost all the philosophers did.
It's that they managed to carve out enlightenment inside that.
Like if everything was going well in Buddha's life,
would enlightenment be that impressive?
No, I mean, wisdom amongst the chaos.
I think that's like a constant trend.
And even in the, you know,
Asen Goenka's life and Sayajit Ubalkin's life,
like they're sort of the ones that brought up
this Vipassana tradition that I'm a part of.
Do you think about the times that they were living in
and it's sort of like moving between wars
and sort of Japanese rule, democracy, dictatorship,
and it's just pretty chaotic.
And I think about now and how even these really wise people
will exist and they influence
but they don't necessarily have power like they don't necessarily have power over the
situation and they're not always in government like you know even though Cato was so close
but it's interesting that that happens like it's a constant phenomenon.
The good guys usually don't win that's just a story we tell ourselves that they do.
Yeah, it's rough.
I mean, it's hard to live your virtues.
It's hard to leave these rules.
Like I have this one rule that I live by
and people are always asking me, you know,
political opinions, but I have this rule like,
I can't support you if you're gonna kill people.
Like, so like when I have politicians,
when I have politicians that reach out and
stuff who are like, you helped me with my campaign. I'm like, I can't support you if
you're going to kill people. Like that's just what you know, what I'm hoping is like, I
know that's a very hard ask when we live in this like anarchy system and whatnot and wars
are happening all the time. But like, I can't help you there, man. Like that's just like
one of the things I want to live by and
I rather stick to that virtue and quietly, you know tend to my garden and i'm happy to talk about it
But no i'm not going to join you at the white house, you know
We want to go check out some books. Yeah Thanks so much for listening.
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