The Daily Stoic - Encourage Yourself Like This | Are Women MORE Stoic Than Men?

Episode Date: April 25, 2025

It was a dark world…and Marcus Aurelius desperately needed some light.🎉 Celebrate Marcus Aurelius' Birthday this month by reading Meditations with us and the Daily Stoic community. On April 26th, 1905 years after the day of his birth, Ryan Holiday will host an invite-only LIVE Q&A to talk about all things Marcus Aurelius and Meditations.Get 20% off with a Meditations BOOK & GUIDE bundle. Join the LIVE Meditations Q&A with Ryan Holiday by purchasing before April 26th!Get all our Meditations offering and learn more at our official Meditations Collection at dailystoic.com/meditations today. 🎙️ Follow The Daily Stoic Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dailystoicpodcast🎥 Watch top moments from The Daily Stoic Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dailystoicpodcast✉️ Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail🏛 Get Stoic inspired books, medallions, and prints to remember these lessons at the Daily Stoic Store: https://store.dailystoic.com/📱 Follow us:  Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, and FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to the daily stoic early and ad free right now. Just join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcast. of a lifetime. I wonder if my out of office is a forever setting. An IG Private Wealth Advisor will help you plan for it all. Your family, your life, and your dreams. Does your financial advisor put you at the center? Meet one who will at IGPrivateWealth.com. Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we bring you a stoic-inspired meditation designed to help you find strength and insight and wisdom into everyday life. Each one of these episodes is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women Help you learn from them to follow in their example and to start your day off the little dose of courage and discipline and justice and wisdom

For more visit dailystoic.com. Encourage yourself like this. Why did Marcus Aurelius write his meditations? It wasn't for an audience or to practice his Greek. After all, he was already pretty accomplished in those areas. Instead we should think about what was going on around Marcus while he was writing it. Conflicts threatened just beyond the border. Economic troubles shook Rome's foundations. A plague had ravaged the nation's populace.

And that's not even mentioning all the political corruption and the backstabbing and the chaos within palace walls. And yet, Marcus doesn't seem to mention any of these events or his reactions to them. Instead, Marcus Aurelius explores himself in the pages of Meditations. He spends all of Book one reflecting on what he's learned from various influential individuals in his life. Dets and Lessons as it's titled is 17 entries spanning nine pages and more than 2,000 words, nearly 10% of the book. And there's the fact that almost every page after contains a quote, a story, or a reference to some bit of ancient philosophy. This seems a little odd, doesn't it?

That the emperor of Rome, the most powerful man on the planet was staying up at night, exploring the idea of virtue and wisdom, primarily when and how he saw it embodied in others. But then when we come across a passage in book six, it begins to make more sense. "'When you need encouragement,' he writes,

"'think of all the qualities of the people around you. This one's energy, this one's modesty, another's generosity, and so on. Nothing is as encouraging as when the virtues are visibly embodied in the people around us when we're practically showered with them. It is good, he says, to keep this in mind. Marcus Aurelius was writing to encourage himself during trying times. He was doing so by thinking about the people he admired and who had inspired him.

He was showering himself in their virtues so that he might be improved by their association. And as far as we can tell, it worked because he was a good man despite facing incredible temptations and pressures. And this example is, of course, rather timely. We should not just be reading meditations, but engaging in it, reflecting on it, journaling on it, using it to become a better person. We've been doing Meditations Month here in April

as part of Daily Stoic, because it's the 1905th anniversary of Marcus's birth on April 26th. And we've been doing a deep dive on how to read meditations. We built out this sort of annotated guide book club exploration, explanation of meditations. It's a bunch of modules, videos, podcasts, discussions with me on how to get the most out of this book, how to use it in this moment.

We're gonna be doing a Q and A on April 26, Marcus's birthday as part of it. We'd love to have you join us. If you grab the guide before tomorrow, April 26th, you'll get access to this live Q and A with me. We're gonna be doing this deep dive into meditations and reflecting on what it means to be a stoic today. And then of course, there's the new forward

that I wrote to the Hayes Translation of Meditations, which you can grab, I'll link to that. And we have our Leatherbound edition of it as well. You can bundle those all together at dailystoic.com slash meditations. This leather edition is the one you've seen me, the one I reach behind me and grab when I'm doing daily Stoic videos or daily Stoic podcasts, it's the one that sits on my bedside and you can get it now at 20% off for this Meditations Month we're doing.

Just head over to dailystoic.com slash meditations and I will see you in the Q and A tomorrow. It's going to be awesome. So my wife likes to joke that one of us is a Stoic and the other writes about Stoicism. And she's probably right. I think I write about Stoicism because I'm not supernaturally good at it. And so it's funny that there's this, you know, the stereotype that women are emotional and men are Stoic.

And this is wrong for a bunch of reasons because there are so many St stoic women and many of the best virtues in women embody the kinds of things that the ancient stoics were aspiring to be. I think a lot of people today assume that fans of the daily stoic are all men. I've been lucky enough to sell millions of books and at this point, that means millions of women have read my books. Women from all over the world, all over the socioeconomic spectrum. And these women not just aspire to be stoic, but they embody the stoic ideas

better than the ancient Romans, and in some cases, better than I could ever hope to. There's really nothing gendered about excellence in a human being, that virtue and courage and temperance and justice and wisdom are genderless. Now, what those virtues might look like could manifest themselves differently depending on what era you live in, what your circumstances are, what your

profession is. But the virtue itself, excellence itself remains the same. Well, in today's video, I want to talk about not just what Stoicism has taught women throughout history and some stoic women, but also what women can teach us about Stoicism, whatever gender we happen to be. If you've read Robert Caro's series on Lyndon Johnson, one of the great epic historical biographies, he has this fascinating passage that I think about all the time. He says, he was talking about the sort of frontier days of Texas, which Lyndon Johnson comes from. He says, you hear a lot about gunfights in Westerns. You don't hear much about hauling up water after a perineal tear. Basically, he was saying that many of the things that

men did in this historical period, and he's talking about the 19th century, are sort of glamorous, exciting, sort of cinematic. But he's just trying to imagine what it must have been like to be a woman living in the Hill Country without electricity. Your husband is gone all day. You're worried about being attacked by Indians. You're worried about being robbed.

You're worried about disease. You're giving childbirth without anesthesia, and then you're getting back to work the next day. In this series that he writes, largely with the help of his wife Edna, he just realizes that there's this whole other facet of history that is never explored and never celebrated. It strikes me that there's something kind of stoic

in this also, that the male stoics throughout history needed to be celebrated for their stoicism, needed to be celebrated for their Stoicism, needed to be recognized for their Stoicism. Their ambition was to be powerful and important and well-known, in many cases anti-Stoic ideas. Meanwhile, as Agrippinus or Musonius Rufus or Seneca is sent into exile, as they're talking about how this affects them and how they're trying to be stoic, what we don't hear about are their children or their wives, how this affects the people that they love. And so there's this kind of bias, this blind spot in history that skips over a lot of quiet

uppercase and lowercase stoicism that in fact is the truest representation of these very virtues that we're talking about. And so ultimately I open the Portia Cato chapter in Lives of the Stoics with this. I say, it could be that the conspicuous lack of credit given to women in the history of Stoicism is actually proof of their philosophical bona fides. Who better illustrates these virtues of endurance and courage, selflessness and duty than the generations of anonymous wives and mothers and daughters of Greece and Rome who suffered,

who resisted tyranny, who lived through wars, who raised families, and who were born and died without ever even being recognized for their quiet heroism. I said, think of what they put up with, think of the indignities they tolerated, and think of the sacrifices they were willing to make. But that's sort of the problem. We don't think about it, right? We don't think about it. Probably the most famous stoic woman in history is Portia Cato. She's the daughter of Cato the Younger. Actually, we tell her story in

lives of the Stoics. Portia Cato is born probably around 70 BC and her father is the mortal enemy of Julius Caesar. Portia Cato is well known in the ancient world. She's well known even in Shakespeare's plays, known not just for her beauty and her marriage to Brutus, the killer of Caesar, but known for her wisdom, her grace, and most of all, her courage. Before I get into Portia Cato for a second, I want to talk about something because as wonderful and amazing as Portia Cato is, if women were taught stoic philosophy in the ancient world, and if in many cases they embody stoicism in such a beautiful way, why don't we know about them? First off, it's because history is written by the victors,

history is written by men, and until very, very recently, men ruled the world. And so what we can imagine is that not only do conventions and laws and expectations prevent many women from becoming the kinds of great historical epic figures that we might read about in the history books, but then the men writing the history had this double bias where they did not talk about women who did embody these things. And this brings us back to Portia. So people know about the assassination of Julius Caesar,

and they know famously that Brutus does it. But what they don't think about, what was Portia Cato's famous contribution to history is that it was his wife who, I wouldn't say put him up to it, but when he wavered, when he feared that he could not do it, it was Portia Cato who

was his backbone. Most of what we know about Portia Cato is only documented in her relation to Cato and Brutus, but within these accounts, what we see is this daring and brave and interesting woman whose example continues to fascinate historians and playwrights and writers to this day. So Cato the Younger, besides being a prominent Stoke philosopher, is basically the most important Roman politician of his day. And he has this rivalry and antagonism with Julius Caesar. Caesar has overthrown the Republic and is now ruling Rome essentially as its dictator. And Portia Cato is married to Brutus, one of the Republicans, an aspiring philosopher

also who adores his father-in-law Cato, and he decides to do something about this. And while we don't know how much Portia knew initially about the plot to assassinate Caesar. It is clear that she senses that her husband has a secret, that he is up to something. And when she deduces what that is, instead of getting angry at her, her first question is, well, why didn't he trust me with this information? And what she suspects is that he doesn't tell her because he's worried that if he is caught she would be tortured and She would give up the plot. This is how the Roman police Investigate crimes. They immediately put slaves and women to torture to get them to reveal their secrets and Portia's enraged that her husband would doubt her toughness and resilience under pressure

And so to prove to herself and to him, she stabs herself in the thigh and then binds up the wound, leaving it untreated. And as she suffers from fever and chills and pain, without her husband noticing for several days, she goes to him and shows him the wound. It is to her an embodiment of her toughness. She said, Look, you trust my spirit, but you were distrustful of my body. I understand that she basically says, but now she says, I have proof that my body can also keep silence. And she says, Therefore, you've got to tell me

your secrets, because fire or lashes or pain is not going to force me to divulge a word like she's just showing like how incredibly tough she is. And and Brutus sort of seeing this realizes that he should bring her in to the conspiracy that he is hatched. And he famously says that he hopes now to do something deserving of so strong and impressive a wife. And this is what gives the conspirators the sort of the energy and the dedication they need

to go on and do this thing. And in fact, actually, Shakespeare was so moved by this scene that he puts it in the play Julius Caesar. Tell me your counsels, I will not disclose them, he has her say. I have made strong proof of my constancy, giving myself a voluntary wound here in the thigh. Can I bear that with patience and not my husband's secrets? And in fact, we're told by Plutarch that when she confronts her husband about this, she says,

like, I wasn't brought here just to share your bed and make your home, but I'm a partner in your joys as well as your troubles. And she's hurt that he won't bring her in on this conspiracy. What I've always taken from this scene is that she has a remarkably modern view of their marriage, that they're true and equal partners in this thing. And she's hurt that he doesn't think to treat her that way. And so after she does her ordeal, she comes through it, I think with a very stoic understanding of what she's capable of.

She says, before I put less confidence in my advantages, but now I know I am superior even to pain. And look, anyone who knows a thing or two about childbirth knows that women are way tougher than men and always have been. There's clearly something absurd about this idea that both Shakespeare and Plutarch are propagating, which is just this idea that women aren't tough.

Of course women are incredibly tough and Portia Cato is clearly an incredibly tough lady. And then we're told that on the day of the conspiracy that Portia has this anxiety attack. She's so worried about her husband's safety that she doesn't know what to do and that she faints. And it requires all of Brutus's strength not to abandon the conspiracy and rush to her side.

Shakespeare has her say, I have a man's mind, but a woman's might. How hard it is for a woman to keep counsel, like that she was so overwhelmed with fright and fear that she almost spilled the beans. I have a hard time believing that someone who just a few days before stabbed herself in the leg and bore that stoically would would freak out the day of the conspiracy. And in fact, it's actually Cicero that the conspirators never tell about it, because they're worried he's going to say something. So when Brutus is weighing like, who do I tell, who do I not tell? Cicero, supposedly the embodiment of a stoic philosopher, can't be told about it because his ego makes everything about him. He actually does brag about it after the fact to far too many people,

exaggerating his own role in it. And then it's Portia Cato, his wife, who he does tell, who, by the way, doesn't tell anyone about it, who I think is more clearly in a better embodiment of this sort of stoic idea of discipline. Doing scary, risky, dangerous things demands both stoic toughness physically, but also the sort of discipline to keep your mouth shut about it. And then if you know the story, obviously they do succeed in assassinating Julius Caesar, but it sort of at the moment of maximum danger when they needed to dispatch most of Caesar's allies, they fail.

And again, it's Brutus who fails to sort of do what needs to be done. He has to flee, and as Caesar's allies rally, Rome is descended into civil war. Brutus and Portia are separated. We're told that Brutus, as he's separating from his wife, thought of what Hector had told his wife as he went to fight Achilles,

to ply her loom and give orders to thy maid. He says that that advice makes no sense to him here, that he has no mind to address his wife the same way, for although her body may not be strong enough to perform such heroic tasks as men do, he says still in spirit she is valiant in defense of her country, just as we are. And we're told ultimately, if you know the story of Cato, Cato famously commits suicide in protest of Julius Caesar's tyranny. And ultimately it comes to Portia Cato

to go out the same way. Although her attendants realized that after the death of her husband, that she was a suicide risk, she was desperate not to become some sort of propaganda or political prisoner, and when they're not looking, she rushes to the fire and swallows hot coals. Again, this is a tough lady. Put aside the context of suicide, which is obviously loaded, it meant something different in the ancient world, Borscia Cato dies by eating fiery coals, putting her on par with her father, to say the

least. And in Julius Caesar's play, he portrays Brutus sort of bereft at the loss of his wife and trying to bear the loss of it as stoically as possible. I guess what I just want to say is that that Porchioceto taught philosophy by her father comes to embody it in ways that I think even some of the greatest stoics would have failed to embody. She does it under pressure, she does it in a moment of great political significance, and then here we also see her sort of demanding her equal say and role in her relationship with her husband. And I actually think in his essay on stoic women, Mussonius Rufus says something quite similar to what Brutus was thinking as he departed from his wife.

Mussonius Rufus, he says, women as well as men have received from the gods the gift of reason, which we use in our dealings with one another, and by which he says we judge whether a thing is good or bad or right or wrong. And he says that it's not men alone who possess an eagerness and an inclination towards virtue, but of course women do also.

He says that women are pleased no less than men by noble and just deeds, and they reject the opposite of such things. And so he says, why is it appropriate for men to seek out and train in how to live well, how to be courageous and disciplined and just and wise, but not women? And so in all these ways, Portia is embodying everything that the Stoics strove to be. And I think that's important in the same way that almost none of the writings from Cato survived. None of the writings from Portia herself survived,

because she, like her father, embodied the ideas of Stoicism in practice, rather than, as Cicero did, beautifully on the page, all the while falling short of them in life. And so speaking of Stoic women who embodied the idea rather than write about it, I think life. And so speaking of stoic women who embodied the idea rather than write about it, I think it's fascinating. Obviously we know about Marcus Aurelius and we know that Marcus Aurelius both lived and wrote a lot about stoic philosophy. This survives to us in the form of meditations.

And then in more modern times, we're familiar with Marcus Rilius' Abomination of a Son, Commodus, who really was as bad as Joaquin Phoenix portrays him in the movie Gladiator. Now that movie also shows one of Marcus Rilius' daughters, played beautifully by Connie Nielsen. But in real life, one of his daughters, Cornephasia, actually lives up to Marcus Rilius's example almost as impressively as Portia Cato does. So she's the younger sister of Commodus. After Commodus's failed reign, he takes over. It's a mistake of Marcus Aurelius to have passed the throne to him. He would have been

much better to put his daughter in charge because as she survives these political machinations, this sort of turmoil in Rome, by the time she's in her 50s, there's this tyrannical emperor named Caracalla in charge. He orders her executed by forced suicide as part of one of his endless purges. And her last words seem like something that could be in meditations.

She says, go free my soul, you've been trapped in an unworthy body. And then as she opens her veins, she says, let them see that I am in fact, the daughter of Marcus Aurelius. She's basically saying in her last moments that she wanted to make her father proud, that she wanted to live like a stoic,

that she was courageous and unafraid, that she'd mastered herself, that she didn courageous and unafraid, that she'd mastered herself, that she didn't fear death, that instead she feared not living up to her philosophical principles, that she wanted to demonstrate the virtues as Portia Cato had, as Cato had, as Seneca was forced to do, as Marcus Aurelius did in their final moments. as Marcus Aurelius did in their final moments. And so again, to go back to this idea that we only have sort of snippets and fragments about these stoic women,

because not only were their perspectives and their point of view not captured at the time in the ancient world, but then generations of historians were just utterly uninterested in unearthing these sort of hidden voices and hidden figures who were right there in the thick of things as they happened. So in the time of Nero, his great stoic rival is this stoic philosopher named Thracia, and he has this daughter named

Phania who is married to another stoic philosopher named Helvidius, who was equally opposed and obstinate in his opposition to Nero's not just tyranny, but utter and complete incompetence. And his daughter is regarded as part of the stoic opposition. Most of what we know about her comes from the letters of Pliny the Younger. She twice follows her husband into exile. She's once exiled herself for working on a biographical book in praise of her husband, who'd become this sort of blacklisted figure for his resistance. She hires another stoic writer to do this biography, and he's ultimately executed for the crime

of daring to celebrate someone who had posed an emperor. And in his trial, he tries to throw Fania under the bus for involving him in this, again, not bearing his fate stoically. And she's threatened with death if she doesn't confirm that it's true. We're told by Pliny that she doesn't shrink from the perils which threatened her.

Even though the Senate had passed a decree that all volumes in question should be destroyed, she in fact defied them and attempted to preserve them. She carries them with her into exile. So even under the threat of losing everything she owns or potentially her life, she continues to do what she thinks is right. She's continuing to fight for this sort of legacy

of the stoic opposition. And we're also told by Pliny later when he is sick that the person he was thinking of was how Fania had herself responded to some of her illnesses. He talked about how even though she had this fever and this cough, even though she was emaciated and utterly exhausted, even within this,

her mind and her body and her spirit was strong, worthy of Helvideus and Thrasya, her father. And even as she was losing ground, he found that her example was an inspiration to him and that he grieved at the thought of so excellent a woman being torn from us and that he thought they would never see the likes of her again because she led such a pure and upright life and that she was dignified and loyal and delightful and charming. I guess what he's saying is again, here we have just a glimpse, a few snippets

of an incredibly brave and stoic woman who as Epictetus said we had to embodied the ideas of stoic philosophy rather than simply talked about them. I woke up this morning as I do most mornings, simply talked about them. I woke up this morning as I do most mornings, at least when I'm at home, on my eight sleep and I have their Pod4 Ultra. And the Pod4 Ultra is a game changer in the world of sleep technology.

The Pod is this mattress cover that you can add on to basically any mattress or any existing bed. And basically what it allows you to do is heat your mattress, cool your mattress. Your spouse can heat their side, you can cool your side or vice versa. It even elevates so you can sit up and read in bed. It helps me get right back in the zone

that I need to get in to sleep well and be at my best. If you're ready to take your sleep and recovery to the next level, head over to 8sleep.com slash Daily Stoke and use the code DAILYSTOKE to get $350 off your very own Pod4Ultra. Your body will thank you for this investment in better sleep. 8sleep ships to many countries worldwide. Head over to 8sleep.com. We have a lot of stories from and about brave stoic men. We have Cato defying Caesar. We have Rutilius Rufus going into exile. We have Thrasya defying Nero. Musonius Rufus is exiled like four times. We have Marcus Relius on the battlefield.

We know their names, we know their exploits, we know their stories, and these deeds are told and retold and retold about how tough they were, how much they endured, how they stood up for the right thing at the right time, even against incredible odds or real danger. This part of Stoicism is sort of history writ large, right? Like we have all these stories of Stoic men as if there weren't Stoic women who were equally brave, equally impressive, and whose

stories would equally inspire and connect and demonstrate these stoic ideas. And so, yeah, there are fewer stories of female stoics, which might lead people to assume that men are the stoic sex, but that's not remotely true. And it wasn't true even in the ancient world. What we're dealing with is what they call the publication bias. Because men were writing the history and society was ruled by men, that women were overlooked. And what this class says is so many great examples of women who lived and practiced the Stoic virtues, sometimes yet in quieter, less public ways, but in other cases, in even

more impressive ways than the Stoic stories we do know. This doesn't tell us anything about women, it just tells us about how history has been made. And then of course we should probably talk here briefly about one of the ultimate stoic women, Marcus Aurelius' mother, right? In meditations, Marks Rulius opens with his influences. And who does he choose to thank first? It's not his philosophy teacher, it's not Antoninus, his adopted stepfather, it's not Bronto, his rhetoric teacher.

He thanks after thanking his grandfather and his father who died when he was very young. He says that from his mother, he learns reverence for the divine, her generosity, her inability to not only do wrong, he says, but to even conceive of doing it. And he says the simple way that she lived, not in the least like the rich.

But it is illustrative, right? He doesn't put her name and neither does Gregory Hayes. So for most people, Mark Surillis' mother is faceless and nameless. To most readers of meditations and certainly pop culture consumers of Stoicism, she remains nameless and faceless. I had to just look it up again, cause I forgot.

But his mother, Domitia, is not just this sort of quiet, graceful, dignified figure. When I interviewed Donald Robertson on the Daily Stowe podcast, he sort of waxed rhapsodically about what a pioneering businesswoman she was, what an impressive embodiment of Stoicism she was here. I'll play a chunk of that for a second. She's this sort of quiet model of stoicism that historians and subsequent philosophers don't give enough credit to. But what does Marcus Rilius learn from his mother? Well you could, you know, at a stretch you could view her as his first tutor and you know she's the only woman,

he mentions his sister fleetingly but other than that his mother is the only woman that he acknowledges in in book one of the meditations. I think the most revealing thing about her is that Fronto writes to Marcus at one point and says I'm going to write a letter to your mum in Greek, right? Fronto is an expert on Latin. Marcus's mother was not just fluent in Greek, like most Roman, most educated Romans would be bilingual in Latin and Greek, but she seems to be completely fluent in it. And Fronto, who's the most acclaimed Latin rhetorician in the world, writes this kind of slightly pathetic letter to Marcus saying could you just check it for mistakes before I send it to your mum?

Because I'd be embarrassed, you know, for her to read it and think I've, you know, like got the grammar slightly wrong or something. So in Roman society, to look to a woman like that as your superior intellectually is unusual. Like, Fronto, and also Fronto mentions that his wife is like a student to Marcus's mother. He actually refers to her as Marcus's mother's client, meaning her kind of subordinate, like her student. So it's a bit of a stretch, but the picture kind of emerges of a woman who is like a multimillionaire, billionaire, construction industry magnate. We have bricks with her name stamped on them that survived today. Right, she owned clay fields and brick and tile factories that she inherited from her family.

She never remarried after Marcus's father died. She would have been in her early 20s or late teens when her husband died. She remained single. Marcus and her went to stay with Marcus's paternal grandfather for a while, but then they leave and they go back into her house, which again shows unusual independence in Roman society. And she seems to have surrounded herself with a kind of intellectual circle, a kind of salon of which she is the center.

["The Heart of the Heart"] on, of which she is the center. So, Portia Cato wasn't the only stoic at the center of a conspiracy. People know Seneca is indicted or implicated in what becomes known as the Pisonian conspiracy or the Piso conspiracy. This is a group of Romans who are plotting against Nero. But there's another figure in that conspiracy who embodies stoicism in a much more genuine way. Epicharis was this former slave turned freed woman. She's a leading figure in the conspiracy.

The conspiracy ultimately fails and she's arrested and in prison and she's brutally tortured as as Nero's goons try to figure out who was involved. They're trying to stop the conspiracy. They're trying to get her to implicate all of her co-conspirators and we're told that no amount of torture would force her to reveal the names of those co-conspirators. People at that time believed that that would fail under torture. But Epicharis is another example that sort of totally obliterates that notion.

It's Tacitus who tells us about Seneca's deaths. Also, he says, All the nobler was the example set by a freed woman in such a crisis in screening strangers. Many of these people, he says, she hardly knew. Meanwhile, freeborn men and Romans and knights and senators who weren't subjected to any kind of torture in this conspiracy and many others folded in an instant. He said, everyone betraying his dearest kinfolk. And his point was again, this silly notion that women are somehow not to be trusted under duress or stress or pain

because they are the weaker sex. We just have so many examples and Epichars being a great example of who's actually stoic under pressure. So we have another woman who's famously involved in the Piso conspiracy. Tragically, Rome was a dark place. I believe she watches her mother and her mother's husband die by

execution under the Emperor Claudius. She marries a guy named Thrasia. Now, whereas the Seneca's of the world accommodated themselves to Nero and tried to be the adults in the room, Thrasia was part of the opposition from day one. He refused to go along with Nero. He refused to rubber stamp. He was defiant. He was constantly a thorn in the emperor's side. And eventually he is sentenced to death.

He probably knew that's where his opposition would bring him. He knew that it was a losing cause, but he insisted on doing it anyway. And eventually he is sentenced to death by Nero. Now his wife, Aria, attempts to join him in this and he stops her. He says, look, would you want our daughter to do what you're about to do if she was in your position? And it's this thought that stops her cold and she decides to live. So this is one of the few stories of these brave stoic women that does not end in suicide, thankfully.

She lives for her daughter. She focuses on what she can do with what's left of her life and not focusing on what had been taken from her, what she had lost. And this is something Seneca talks about. He says, if you achieved or derived pleasure from something, your duty is not to complain about what's been taken from you, but to be thankful for what's

been given. And I think she sort of embodies this idea, even in the face of this imperial persecution, even though she loses so much, she holds on to her philosophical principles. She's brave enough to carry on. She keeps going. She has to live through a parade of terrible emperors after Nero, but she does her best. Obviously, Seneca is a well known philosophical writer. Lesser known in Seneca's writings are his famous consolations. He writes these essays that are consoling someone bereft with grief. He writes one to his mother.

He writes one to a woman named Marcia, who is the daughter of a prominent historian that Seneca knew well. Her father was tried under Tiberius for being a Republican, for celebrating Brutus and Cassius, and that this was a violation of the laws at that time. So he's called to appear before the Senate and after ruthless interrogation, Cordes starves himself so he could escape punishment and effectively in protest of the illegitimacy of the regime. Anyways, the trial continues after his death, and one of the punishments is that they demand all copies of his work be burned.

But it's his daughter devastated by the loss of his father who Seneca would write his consolation to. She bravely defies this order. She loves philosophy, she loves books. And so she takes a copy of her father's book and hides it. And every time her house is searched, she she lies, she covers it up, she takes this great risk to smuggle out this work of literature and history to protect her father's legacy. And then later when Caligula lifts the prohibition, Marcia gets a pardon and she gets her father's work back into celebration.

And because of this disobedience, this defiance, right, which I think the Stokes would say, we always owe tyrants in tyranny. That is the proper response. Like, when they tell you to do this, do the opposite. Because of her brave act, we still have fragments of this part of history to today. It survived. We actually hear about another brave woman through Seneca's writings, particularly his consolations. Seneca writes this essay to his mother, Helvia. In that essay, he writes about his aunt.

Unfortunately, we don't know her name, but she was a surrogate mother to him at critical moments of his life. Seneca was sick as a young boy and the doctor's orders, he has to travel to a warmer client. So he's actually taken in by his aunt and uncle. And in this essay, Seneca talks about what a powerful and strong and inspiring woman she was, raising him far from home, living in a place far from Rome.

And then he relates this story where on his aunt and uncle's journey to return home, living in a place far from Rome. And then he relates this story, where on his aunt and uncle's journey to return home, there was a terrible shipwreck. He says, while on this sea void, she lost her beloved husband who she'd married as a young woman. He says that she bore simultaneously the burdens of grief and fear and those shipwrecks she rode out the storms and brought his body safely ashore. He says and this is him admitting this very thing we're talking about he says, oh how many noble deeds of women are lost in obscurity.

And so again despite some of Seneca's casual sexism, you know he refers to women in his writings as simple minded and and lacking self-control and weak. In truth, the women in his life were marvels of virtue and strength and perseverance and stoic ideas. And he also, of course, celebrates her compassion and love and patience with them. And so again, there are just so many stoic women who not just lived interesting and full lives, but lived interesting lives full of virtue. And their

reward for this is that we don't even know their names. As we're trying to fact check this, Wikipedia just refers to her as Helvia's sister. We know the name of her husband, but we don't know her name, which is a tragedy. So one of the things that sexism and prejudice does, because it is so irrational, is it creates a kind of cognitive dissonance. Even when we see direct proof that our prejudice or our beliefs are unfounded, we prefer to continue in that belief rather than see that this exception actually disproves the prejudice that we have.

For instance, there was this black female poet in revolutionary colonial America named Phyllis Wheatley and there's all these fascinating letters from the founders including Thomas Jefferson who sort of like contorting themselves. He can't believe that a slave would be capable of thinking or literature. He's trying to rationalize this institution that his lifestyle is dependent on. And we see this in the ancient Rome too. So for instance, in Rome, there was this female poet named Sulpicia and she was a great writer, a wealthy, successful, brilliant young woman.

And her poems were just widely believed to be written by men. Like people just couldn't wrap their heads around the fact that a woman wrote these great poems. And in fact, it was only relatively recently that we began to understand who she was and that she was the author of these actually autobiographical poems that were kind of bold and rebellious, even provocative.

The only reason they survived to us is because people believed they were written by men. They probably would have been tossed aside had people in the ancient world known they were written by a woman or maybe they wouldn't have been preserved in the in the middle ages because they would have been seen to be lesser than. And in more modern times where women are in the workplace, are in the public eye, do have access to things, there are plenty of women you may have heard of, but you maybe didn't know actually practiced stoicism. I interviewed Arianna Huffington a couple of years ago.

She's obviously a well-known author, political power broker. She's the founder of the Huffington Post, which she sold for hundreds of millions of dollars. She's a board member of a bunch of huge important companies. She told me she has a little laminated note card of a quote from Marcus Aurelius that she carries with her in her purse at all times. I interviewed the musician, Camila Cabello, who told me that stoicism has been something

that helped keep her sane in the midst of pop stardom. It's actually not the only stoic female pop star Katy Perry likes and shares daily stoic stuff on social media all the time which is pretty surreal. The actress Anna Kendrick talked about how the book that would surprise people the most on her bookshelf would be Mark Skrullius' Meditations. And then of course there are great modern stoic thinkers and writers. Martha Nussbaum who I've had on the podcast, is one of the best translators of Seneca. And she's written a number of fantastic essays on the stoics. She's a professor at the University of Chicago. Actually, even one of the best

biographies of Seneca was written by Emily Wilson, the translator who's done the Odyssey and the Iliad. The social activist Beatrice Webb, who I talked about in the Justice Book, she would talk about meditations being her manual of devotion that she would read and reread throughout her life. Chief Master Sergeant Joanne Bass, who was at one point, I think, the highest ranking woman in the US armed forces.

She's not only come out to the Daily Stoic Bookstore, but I hear from so many male officers and female officers who have been given the Daily Stoic by her. She sort of single-handedly pushed Stoicism throughout the U.S. Air Force. And I've heard from fighter pilots, I've heard from authors, entrepreneurs, creators, elected leaders, just so many women who are applying these Stoic ideas as they are meant to be applied, which is in the midst of busy, personal and professional lives.

When I wrote the Daily Stoic eight years ago, I had this crazy idea that I would just keep it going. The book was 366 meditations, but I'd write one more every single day and I'd give it away for free as an email. I thought maybe a few people would sign up. Couldn't have even comprehended a future in which three quarters of a million people

would get this email every single day and would for almost a decade. If you wanna get the email, if you wanna be part of a community that is the largest group of stoics ever assembled in human history, I'd love for you to join us. You can sign up and get the email totally for free.

No spam, you can unsubscribe whenever you want at dailystoic.com slash email. If you like The Daily Stoic and thanks for listening, you can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. And before you go, would you tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey on Wondery.com slash survey. Even the smallest business can face big risks.

Get a business insurance quote in minutes at zensurance.com slash podcast and receive a $20 gift card. Zensurance policies starting at $19 a month. Be protected. Be Zen.