The Daily Stoic - Face Down in the Moment | Ask Daily Stoic

Episode Date: September 16, 2022

The thing about life is that it’s not a thing. Life is a series of moments. As the great Annie Dillard said, how we spend our days is how we spend our lives—and how we spend our moments is how we spend our days.📕Pre-order Ryan Holiday's new book "Discipline Is Destiny" and get exclusive pre-order bonuses at https://dailystoic.com/preorder ✉️ Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, and Facebook See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stoic Podcast early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today. Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we read a passage of ancient wisdom designed to help you in your everyday life. But on Fridays, we not only read this daily meditation, but I try to answer some questions from listeners and fellow Stoics who are trying to apply this philosophy, whatever it is they happen to do. Sometimes these are from talks.

Sometimes these are people who come up to talk to me on the street. Sometimes these are written in or emailed from listeners. But I hope in answering their questions, I can answer your questions, give a little more guidance on this philosophy. We're all trying to follow. [♪ Music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing fight off target, the new discounter that's both savvy and fashion forward. Listen to Business Wars on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Face down in the moment. The thing about life is that it's not a thing. Life is a series of moments. As the great Annie Dillard said, how we spend our days is how we spend our lives and how we spend our moments is how we spend our days. The problem is that most of us are too busy to notice these moments as they come. We are not present, we are preoccupied. The Stoics had this word, adoraxia, to describe someone driven by external and internal forces.

Marcus are really as contrast this with the person who is able to be like the rock that the waves crash against, but eventually fall still. That's what presence is. Slowing down, being where your feet are, being in the moment. When you are caught up in the ebb and flow of external forces, your life passes you by with increasing speed each and every day.

If you cannot stop and be present, if you cannot be the rock that lets those waves crash against you, instead of carry you away, then you will miss all of it. And how tragic is that? Greatness, happiness, contentment, these things are what life can be, but only if we choose to experience them, only if we slow down, only if we show up and stay in the moment. This is what my book Stillness is the key is about slowing down, being present, locking into that connection with yourself, with other people, with the

world around you. And I think that stillness is all my happiest moments, all my best, most productive moments. They're all rooted in that, not frenzy, not distraction, not temptation, not chasing, but being, being not doing. Stillness is the key. I think you'll love it. Debuted at number one on the New York Times bestseller lists. It's sold hundreds of thousands of copies. Now you can get it as an audiobook.

I read it. You can get it signed here at the painted porch. Get it on a bunch of different formats. You can check that out at store.dailysteo.com or come out to the painted porch here on Historic Main Street in Bashroom, Texas or anywhere you get your books. I just hope you read it and you do deserve stillness and I wish you very much of it. Joy. And then we answer them, you're pressing the thoughts, questions, concerns about this ancient philosophy that we both love. Today's first question is from Terry. He said, I love the control how you play a message.

That's something we talk about from Marcus Aurelius and Santa Cunapic Titus. You don't control what happens. You control how you respond. All of an athlete, a politician, a leader, thinker. Controls is how they play the game. They don't control what the game does to them or what other people are doing inside the game. So he says, I recognize that I believe I

control more than I actually do. I think I can fix things. I think I can influence other's behaviors. We talk about how to recognize what is or isn't in your control. I mean, this is the the million dollar question. And I think the Stoics are pretty black and white. They're like, you control this, you don't control that. The truth is there is stuff that's kind of in the middle, right? Like, I control the book that I write, but I don't control how many copies it sells except there are decisions, choices, actions that I take

that influence how likely it is to sell. Like, certainly by not doing anything, I am increasing the chances of it not selling. And so, or there's a person back there who's making a bunch of noise out on the street. So I don't control that, but I do, I could go tell them to stop, right? We have some influence, but not complete influence. And so I think acknowledging that there is some gray area is important, but really, I think what the Stoics are talking about is just making sure you're focusing on

and you're not tying your identity up in things that are not up to you. That's sort of how I take it in my life. So I realize there's things I control, there's things I don't control, and there's things where I'm understanding that I have influence, but I can direct them, but I can't ultimately control them.

All right, so Jim says that there are 52 weeks in a year, and that he's thinking about implementing one voluntary discomfort strategy each week. What are some strategies to intentionally go about practicing voluntary discomfort from a mental discipline? Well, first off, I love this idea. I think this is great. We might even steal it.

This could actually be like a daily stoke project at some point. But the idea of testing yourself, pushing your boundaries, getting outside your comfort zone on a regular sort of systematic basis is gonna make you a tougher, stronger, more resilient person. One of the reasons I love endurance sports, why I love running and why it's part of my routine is like, it has toughened me up to the point where like, I don't have to worry about whether I can handle

difficult things, because I've, I experienced it enough on a daily basis that I know that I push through, that I know that I'm not a quitter because I've been at points in a totally arbitrary meaningless activity where everything in my body made me want to stop doing it. And I had the willpower to keep going. I think that's what endurance sports,

whether it's running or swimming or biking or whatever, that's what it, that's what it's training you to do. Miracami, the writer, the novelist, he's a distance runner, and he says like running is both a metaphor and an activity, and the metaphor is like your teacher yourself that you can persevere. So, I mean, cold showers would be a great thing to do. You know, quitting things, giving things up would be a great voluntary discomfort activity. Doing things that make you feel self-conscious or embarrassed, doing things in a new way.

It's, I think about, you know, we interviewed David Epstein and he talked about the velvet rut, where the rut of competence. Like when you get in a comfort zone and everything is exactly how you want it, that's a comfortable place to be, but not a place that's making you grow. You grow when you are outside of that. So I think what I'd be thinking about as I'm coming up with these activities is like, am I just subjecting myself to pain for the sake of feeling pain?

No, it's am I learning, am I getting better, am I strengthening my power of will over myself? Because that's why we're doing this. The whole point of it is to improve and increase your will power, your ability to make your mind, will your body to do something that wouldn't naturally be inclined to do or sometimes to make your mind Think about something that it is not naturally inclined to do that's the whole point of this So think about that. Is it actually adding a skill to your skill set or giving you confidence in your ability to do something? That's what matters

Okay, Justin says what do you think of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and how it relates to being a stoic? Also, how can I further my studies on bringing on stoicism? Are there any camps, trainings, facilities, whatever? So, I actually was doing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu when I was writing obstacles the way I lived in New Orleans and I would go to an awesome, I think it's called, Nola BJJ, I even thank my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu professor at the end of it.

I haven't done it in quite some time, I sort of got away from the training, I've just been busy, and I found that I still wanted to run or swim every day, and I just don't have the time to do multiple hour long exercise activities. So I think there's a ton of parallels between stoicism and wrestling. Markets are really, uses the metaphor of stoicism and philosophy being similar to the approach of a boxer or a pancreatist, which was an early form of mixed martial arts in the Roman Empire. So there's lots of interesting overlaps you can see clearly the stoics were so familiar with wrestling and fighting that it sort of permeates their writing in the way that like, you know, football analogies might appear in a politician's speeches.

As far as like training and stoicism, I think stoicism is something that you train yourself in by the reading you do, watching these videos or listening to this podcast, That's one reading the books like how is Mark's really straining in philosophy? Well, one, he had a philosophy instructor's name is Junius Rousticus. He thanks him at the front of meditations. You can look at that. And he was doing his reading in philosophy, but then he was regularly writing and discoursing with himself and with others about stoicism. That's what meditations is. That's what meditation is.

That's what Sena Kuzletters of Aestobic are, right? Kato would have long dinner parties where he would talk about philosophy. So I don't think there's a school that you go to, but it is something you have to actively build a practice of in your life. So that's where I'd start. But I think this impulse you have to take your training

to the next level is really great. And should be encouraged, I think one interesting part of stoicism is that, or a philosophy. This isn't something someone can give you. There isn't just a place that you show up. It's more of an inward facing practice that you have to build. It's a routine you develop in your life. That's where this

is going to come from. So, great question, Terry, Jim, and Justin really appreciated. If you guys have more questions, you can email us at infoatdailystoke.com. Don't just have to be questions about stoicism. These can be specific questions. They can be advice you want in life about specific problems. Whatever you want, email us infoatdailyowic.com and we will see you next week. You can subscribe to us on YouTube obviously or you can listen to this on our podcast. We'll get our email at dailystowic.com. You know, the Stoics in real life met at what was called the Stoa. The Stoa, Pocula, the Painted Porch, and Ancient Athens.

Obviously, we can all get together in one place because this community is like hundreds of thousands of people and we can fit in one space. But we have made a special digital version of the Stoa we're calling it daily Stoic life. It's an awesome community you can talk about like today's episode. You can talk about the emails, ask questions.

That's one of my favorite parts is interacting with all these people who are using stoicism to be better in their actual real lives. You get more daily stoke meditations over the weekend, just for the daily stoke life members, quarterly Q&As with me, cloth bound edition of our best of meditations, plus a whole bunch of other stuff, including discounts, and this is the best part. All our daily stoke courses and challenges totally for free hundreds of dollars of value every single year including our new year new year challenge. We'd love to have you join us. There's a two week trial totally for free. Check it out at dailystokelife.com. Hey, Prime Members, you can listen to the Daily Stoic early and ad free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and add free

with Wondery Plus in Apple podcasts. Celebrity feuds are high stakes. You never know if you're just gonna end up on Page Six or Du Moir or in court. I'm Matt Bellesai. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wondery's new podcast, Dis and Tell, where each episode we unpack a different iconic celebrity feud. From the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession

with these feud say about us? The first season is packed with some pretty messy pop culture drama, but none is drawn out in personal as Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears. When Britney's fans form the free Britney movement dedicated to fraying her from the infamous conservatorship. Jamie Lynn's lack of public support. It angered some fans. A lot of them. It's a story of two young women who had their choices taken away from them by their controlling parents, but took their anger out on each other.

And it's about a movement to save a superstar, which set its sights upon anyone who failed to fight for Britney. Follow Dissentel wherever you get your podcast. set its sights upon anyone who failed to fight for Brittany. Follow Dissentel wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on Amazon Music or the Wondery app.