The Daily Stoic - Friendship Makes Life Worth Living

Episode Date: March 29, 2019

By now you may have read the viral story about the unexpected friendship between Charles Barkley and the late Lin Wang, a cat litter scientist from Iowa. It’s a pretty moving example of the power of connection, how one of the greatest basketball players of all time met and befriended a stranger in a hotel bar, and how despite their two very different lives, they became sources of great comfort and companionship to each other (and support too—as Wang attended the funeral of Barkley’s mother and Barkley later gave the eulogy at Wang’s funeral). The Stoics don’t talk enough about friendship, and that’s a shame, because friendship makes life worth living. Marcus speaks a lot about being kind to your fellow man—including all the jerks out there—but we don’t hear much about the pleasures of spending time in the company of people we love. He talks about avoiding false friendship but says less about the benefits of true friendship. From Seneca, we have many letters he wrote to a friend and we can see clearly how therapeutic and deep their relationship was. He writes occasionally on friendship in those letters and in essays, saying at one point that, “no one can live happily who has regard to himself alone and transforms everything into a question of his own utility; you must live for your neighbour, if you would live for yourself.”It was Cicero, though, who wrote most eloquently on friendship, producing in 44 BC a fictional dialog between Gaius Laelius and his sons-in-law, where Laelius speaks movingly of his multi-decade friendship with the late Scipio Africanus (recently re-published by Princeton University Press as How To Be A Friend). Cicero, a lifelong student of the Stoics, knew the power of friendship, and we are lucky that his many letters to Atticus survive to us. Both are worth reading. Although Stoicism is a philosophy that stresses independence and strength, moral rectitude and inner-life, it’s essential that we don’t mistake this as a justification for isolation or loneliness. We are not islands, we are social animals. We need community, we need friends. We get something out of giving, and we are made better for caring and being cared for. That’s what this idea of sympatheia is really about—the warm, snug feeling of knowing you’re a part of a larger whole. Indeed, that’s been one of the most rewarding parts of creating Daily Stoic Life (which you can join here)—we’ve gotten to see Stoics meet and befriend people they didn’t even know lived near them. We’ve also gotten to see people reach out when they were in need or had problems and found support and acceptance. Friendship makes life worth living. It is key to a good life. Neglect it at your peril. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stoke podcast early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today. Welcome to the Daily Stoke. For each day, we read a short passage designed to help you cultivate the strength, insight, wisdom necessary for living the good life. insight, wisdom necessary for living good life. Each one of these passages is based on the 2000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women. For more, you can visit us at dailystowach.com. Friendship makes life worth living. By now you may have read the viral story about the unexpected friendship between Charles Barkley and the late Lin Wang, a cat litter scientist from Iowa. It's a pretty moving example of the power

of connection, how one of the greatest basketball players of all time met and befriended a stranger in a hotel bar, and how despite their two very different lives, they became sources of great comfort and companionship to each other, and support too, as Wang attended the funeral of Barclay's mother and Barclay later gave the eulogy at Wang's funeral. The Stoics don't talk enough about friendship, and that's a shame because friendship makes life worth living. Marcus speaks a lot about being kind to your fellow man, including all the jerks out there. But we don't hear much about the pleasures of spending time in the company of people we love.

He talks about avoiding false friendship, but says less about the benefits of true friendship. From Sennaka, we have many letters he wrote to a friend, and we can see how clearly therapeutic and deep their relationship was. He writes occasionally on friendship in those letters and in essays, saying at one point that no one can live happily who has to regard himself as alone and transforms everything into a question of his own utility. You must live for your neighbor if you would live for yourself. It was Cicero though, who wrote most eloquently on friendship, producing in 44 BC a fictional dialogue between Gaius, Lailus, and his sons-in-law, where Lailus

speaks movingly of his multi-decade friendship with the late CPO-Africanus. And this has been recently republished by Princeton University Press as how to be a friend. Cicero, a lifelong student of the Stoics, knew the power of friendship. And we are lucky that his many letters to Atticus survive to us, both are worth reading. Although Stoicism is a philosophy that stresses independence and strength, moral rectitude, and inner life, it's essential that we don't mistake this as a justification for isolation or loneliness. We are not islands, we are social animals.

We need community, we need friends. We get something out of giving, and we are made better for caring and being cared for. That's what this idea of sympathy is really about. The warm snug feeling of knowing you are part of a larger whole. Indeed, that's been one of the most rewarding parts of creating daily stoic life. Which you can join here by going to dailystoiclife.com. We've gotten to see stoics meet and befriend people.

They didn't even know lived near them. We've also gotten to see people reach out when they were in need or had problems or found support and acceptance. Friendship makes life worth living. It is key to a good life. Neglect it at your peril. And seriously I would invite everyone to join Daily Stoic Life. It's not free, costs a little bit of money, but it is a community that I promise you, you will get something out of, don't practice this stoicism stuff just by yourself. I want to be part of that larger whole. I think you want people to talk to, to bounce things off,

to share, to be there when you need them, and that's really been the most rewarding part of creating the community. So please check it out, you can go to dailystokelife.com. with Wondery Plus in Apple podcasts.