The Daily Stoic - Gary Vaynerchuk on Stoicism, Soft Skills, and Becoming Your Best Self | The End Will Not Be Pretty

Episode Date: December 1, 2021

Ryan reads today’s daily meditation and talks to entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuk about his new book Twelve and a Half: Leveraging the Emotional Ingredients Necessary for Business Success, how to get comfortable with vulnerability and emotional development, the best way to maintain long term business success, and more.Gary Vaynerchuk is an entrepreneur, author, speaker, and Internet personality. First known as a wine critic who expanded his family's wine business, Vaynerchuk is now more known for his work in digital marketing and social media as the chairman of New York-based communications company VaynerX, and as CEO of VaynerX subsidiary VaynerMedia.Get signed copies of Gary’s books at The Painted Porch: https://www.thepaintedporch.com/ Watch the podcast on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ir3_rzcEzyQGiveWell is the best site for figuring out how and where to donate your money to have the greatest impact. If you’ve never donated to GiveWell’s recommended charities before, you can have your donation matched up to $250 before the end of the year or as long as matching funds last. Just go to GiveWell.org and pick podcast and enter DAILY STOIC at checkout.If you are looking for gifts for family members and friends, the 2021 Daily Stoic Gift Guide is here to help! This year’s guide features a bundle of books signed by Ryan Holiday, our new page-a-day desk calendar, the four virtues medallion, and more. Click here to give the gift of Stoicism this holiday season!Talkspace is an online and mobile therapy company. Talkspace lets you send and receive unlimited messages with your dedicated therapist in the Talkspace platform 24/7. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com or download the app. Make sure to use the code STOIC to get $100 off of your first month and show your support for the show.LinkedIn Jobs is the best platform for finding the right candidate to join your business this fall. It’s the largest marketplace for job seekers in the world, and it has great search features so that you can find candidates with any hard or soft skills that you need. And now, you can post a job for free. Just visit linkedin.com/STOIC to post a job for free. We've joined Team Feed Corporate to help end hunger in America. No one should go without a meal, yet more than 38 million people in America still face hunger. We created this fundraiser to help provide these much needed meals to our neighbors through the Feeding America network of food banks and we're asking you to join us in our cause. Go to https://dailystoic.com/feeding to donate and let's end hunger together!Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: https://DailyStoic.com/dailyemailCheck out the Daily Stoic Store for Stoic inspired products, signed books, and more.Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, FacebookFollow Gary Vee: Homepage, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stoic Podcast early and add free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each weekday we bring you a meditation inspired by the ancient Stoics, a short passage of ancient wisdom designed to help you find strength and insight here in everyday life. And on Wednesdays, we talk to some of our fellow students of ancient philosophy, well-known and obscure, fascinating and powerful. With them, we discuss the strategies and habits that have helped them become who they are and also to find peace in wisdom in their actual lives. But first we've got

a quick message from one of our sponsors. Hi I'm David Brown, the host of Wonderree's podcast business wars. And in our new season, Walmart must fight off target, the new discounter that's both savvy and fashion forward. Listen to business wars on Amazon music or wherever you get your podcasts. The end will not be pretty. Life may be beautiful, but it's origins and it's ending rarely are. We are born amidst pain and yelling and occasionally urine and feces. We die when our body quits on us. It doesn't matter how great your life is, how much money you make, or how much power you amass. In the end, we go out with a whimper. As the 16th century Stoic friendly philosopher Blaise Pascal observed, the last act is bloody, however fine the rest of the play. They throw earth over your head and it's finished forever. What should one

take from this? That it's all meaningless? that death should be feared, avoided at all costs? Hardly. What the Stoics want us to derive from these meditations on our mortality is a sense for the humbling fragility of our existence and as a consequence a renewed focus on the now. The final act is bloody, so let's make the play as good as possible. We are rotting meat in a bag, Marcus Aurelius once said. The expiration date is approaching. What is there to be anxious about death? The matter is settled. It won't be pretty, and you don't have a say.

We are simply returning to the beginning of the cycle, one that if you recall correctly, you have no recollection of. Nobody remembers their birth, despite being present for it. The same will be true of our deaths, however gruesome, however painful, however unexpected. So get to live in today, while you still have time. Hey, it's Ryan Holiday.

Welcome to another episode of The Datastore Podcast. As you know, I'm a pretty introverted guy. I'm a philosophical guy, quiet guy. You might not think that Gary Vaynerchuk and I would be on the same wavelength or friends, but you'd be wrong. I love Gary. And Gary's been great to me. I remember first seeing his stuff and thinking like, I'm not sure this dude is for me. I'm not sure we'd get along. I'm not sure we have the same values or the same priorities. Certainly, I knew we didn't have the same sort of personality. And yet, from the first time I bumped into Gary, which I talked about in today's episode, to the first time I was on his podcast, which you can check out that interview.

Then a couple of years ago, when Gary reached out, I'd recently left the speaking agency that I was on, and asked if I wanted to join a speakers bureau. He was starting called VaynerSpeakers. He loved what I was writing about. He loved my platform. He said, I just don't think you're reaching as many people as you could be reaching.

And I think if you give me a chance, you reach more people. And I was sort of burned out, sort of frustrated with how things had gone the last go around with the agency I just left. And I was a little skeptical and Gary has no joke, blown my mind helped me take stoicism and what I talk about in so many cool places. I'm actually, I'm really grateful

and VaynerSpeakers has been great to me and if some of you are listening, you've seen me speak or you've had me come speak, you know you can think Vayner speakers. But anyways, Gary is a guy I've gotten a lot of advice from. He's part of the reason that Daily Stoke is on TikTok. It's part of the reason we've done our YouTube stuff. He's really encouraged me to invest more in social media,

like to put out more social media stuff. You know, the idea that, hey, look, not every, even this podcast, I think primarily in books, that's the medium that I'm comfortable with. I like the written word. But this idea that not everyone is on that wavelength and that these other platforms have these enormous algorithms that you want to use to help reach people

who might actually be interested in the writing and the books that I love. But that's not their first language, so to speak. It has been transformative for daily. So that may well be how you are listening to this podcast right now. And so I had the chance Gary was in town briefly. He came out to the painted porch bookstore, recorded in person, one of the few of these I've gotten to do since the pandemic. It was just an awesome experience.

I feel like the last time I spent time with Gary, Lance Armstrong had a dinner in his wine cellar several years ago, and Gary was there that I feel like that was the last time we talked in person. Anyways, love Gary. So excited to do this interview. We really get into stoicism. You might not think about Gary as someone who'd wanna go in-depth on Marcus Aurelis and Seneca,

but that's what we do in this interview. It was fun, it was exciting. I left it pumped and excited. And I think you will as well. And look, Gary has a new book out that is already a monster hit. He sold 1.2 million copies of it as a pre-order, which is insane.

Nobody does that. So again, I'm always trying to learn from people who are in different spaces, who do things a different way. And so once again, I think Gary is sort of carving a new path. Plus the book is really good. It's called 12 and a half, leveraging the emotional ingredients necessary for business success.

I took a bunch of notes on this book. He talks about gratitude, self-awareness, accountability, optimism, empathy, kindness, tenacity, curiosity, patience, conviction, humility, ambition. And then something he's struggling with the most, kind, kind, or how do you be honest without hurting people, how do you, your reluctance to hurt people, not hold you back from speaking the truth. It's a fascinating book. Check it out. We've also, he signed some copies of his other books while he was at the Painted Port, which we have for you back from speaking the truth. It's a fascinating book. Check it out. We've also, he's signed some copies of his other books while he was at the Painted Port which we have for sale at

thepaintedportch.com. We've got signed copies of Crush It, the Thank You Economy and his other books as well. So you can check those out. Anyways, I loved talking with Gary. You can watch a video of this podcast as well. Follow Gary on all the platforms at GaryVee. That's G-A-R-Y-V-E-E. You're probably already following because he's got like an enormous reach. But anyways, I love this talk with GaryVee and do check out the new book.

I'm holding it right now. 12 and a half leveraging the emotional ingredients necessary for business success. And get on the Gary ride. It's always fun. You might not love all of it. You might not agree with all of it, but I think it comes from a good place.

And I think he inspires. I think he makes a difference for people. And I respect that even if I do things differently. And I've really enjoyed the value. Gary talks a lot about creating value for people. Gary has created a ton of value for me. And that's why I'm excited to have him on the podcast, introduce him to you if you're not already familiar and hopefully create some value in return.

And I hope you enjoy this interview. I'm going to throw my definition of stoicism at you because I think it aligns with how you see the world, even though I know you don't identify with a stoke, but you hit me back with what that means to you. Okay. So my definition of stoicism is that we don't control with the stoke, but you hit me back with what that means to you. Okay. So my definition of stosism is that we don't control what happens, but we control how we respond to what happens. I believe in that tremendously.

Look, I'm, here's my relationship with stosism. You and for a while now, especially when I started to evolve and really start opening up of like how I thought. It's in my comments, it's in my DMs. Maybe because of you or maybe not, I'm trying to remember, but somewhere in a ballpark of five, seven years ago, four years ago,

I, and you know, we had the podcast when you were on mine and we're probably repeating some stuff because I don't, like this is what, but it's fun. I looked at the definition, like just literally Google that. Yeah. And I was like, oh yeah, like a lot of it resonated.

The main reason I'm not going deeper into it is I don't wanna fuck up what's working for me. Sure. And I don't wanna become almost like a character shirt. I don't wanna force it. So it's kind of why I stay away from a lot of stuff. Do you seem like a very intuitive guy? I am.

And so I could imagine sort of overthinking it. Yeah, but inserting new stuff might mess up the intuition or the vibe. Something that I'm really grateful for was I actively could feel my career evolving and remember vividly promising myself that I would never say anything I didn't believe. And it was kind of almost like I didn't want to become the fans

or become Irkhol. The catchphrase kind of thing. I remember vividly thinking I will never say crush it if it doesn't naturally come to me. I will never say anything. The one doesn't naturally come to me. I will never say anything. The one that's really probably funny to people, and I think people may or may it'll be interesting to see how people have this land for some people. I never curse unless it naturally comes for me. Like I don't go and say like, oh I've got to do my cursing thing. I play every audience different.

D-rock and I were just talking. I spoke this morning in Orlando and it was a very conservative B2B and like, he was like, you were more scholarly. And I was like, some of the stuff that a lot of people know in my content would have not landed. Sure. What I did in Edmonton the other day for 10,000 people would have not landed for these 400 people in any shape or form. And for me, I think what makes anybody who's putting out content effective is the humility to be contextual to the audience, not what they're interested in. You probably don't remember this,

but the first time I met you, this would have been 2008. I was walking to the convention center at South by Southwest, and I was like, oh, it's GaryVee, how are you Gary? And you're like, I'm good, I'm like, what's going on? You're like, just crushing it. And it was before the book. So the book came out, I was like, there it is. Yeah, like I, you know, I react to what I'm feeling

more than kind of the reverse. Right, like, like if people listen carefully, it was all there before it came out. Even Vee friends, you know, Vee friends, I talked at nausea around intellectual property, my office itself, is a visualization of what was coming. I like that, I like that. It's kind of like, I always talk about,

I'm a smoke and then there's fire. I'm proud of that, because I feel like it's authentic. I feel like, you know, one, I don't have the audacity to ever think that people should do the homework on me that allows you to kind of see it. Like when people like, don't you struggle with being misunderstood, I'm like, how? Why would somebody who decides to see one clip on Instagram

and I'm being me and in certain formats, I know exactly what that is. That's gonna rub certain people the wrong way. Why should they spend 16 hours to know the full me? They shouldn't and so I'm very empathetic to it. And that's kind of just how I see it. All right, so the new book is 12 and a half, called them virtues or traits or ideas. Stoicism is supposed to be four. So I'm gonna give you the four of stoicism

and you tell me where they fit, how they work with the 12 and a half. All right, so courage, temperance, which is like moderation, self-discipline. Interesting. Justice, and wisdom. Yeah, you know, I think it's interesting. I think that those wisdom was one I actually, wisdom is something I'm very interested in.

I feel like I'm getting trapped into like affirmation that I have, by the way, I would love to be a stoic on the record or not. Like I'm just very flowed. That's why I riff on the idea. No, I fucking love this shit. I'm obsessed with wisdom. Yeah. So here's a very

interesting part about me. When I was 5, 6, 7, 4, I, 4, 5, 4, 5, 6, I would go outside in Queens. You know, I always talk about Edison Jersey, but my first couple of years in America were in Queens. And I would immediately, as a four-year-old child, run towards the 80-year-old child run towards the 80-year-old Altercockers, which is a good-yiddish word for old fuckers, and I would hold court and jam. And my mom, when I was 11, 13, 15, would tell me these stories of me. And she would talk about the three or four or two guys that were like the grumps of the grumps. They would sit on this stoop, and they would just make fun of everybody, be mean to everybody, hate everybody,

but every morning, she would say that the occasional mornings where I didn't come outside, they'd be mad at her that she wasn't walking me at 7.30 in the morning, and she would just kind of talk about like what I was bringing to them. And I remember even then, 15, when you're not really thinking about massive thoughtfulness, wisdom, I remember one time in my high school years, she again telling me a story that I've heard a couple times. And I just remember saying to myself, I was driving to high school, no mom, they were giving, they were giving to course. And so I'm very fascinated by wisdom. I'm very fascinated by us not tapping into the resource

that is 80 and 90 year olds. Those are the entrepreneurs I love, like the people you've never heard of, and then you get talking to them, and they're like, oh, he had this whole string of, like air conditioning supply and company. Some company you've never heard of, he had 400 employees, you know,

and he just figured out some niche. You wanna hear something that I know that my team and nobody's ever heard, I did say it's somewhere, but I don't know where. That person is the reason this book exists. Let me explain. I was somewhere and I'm struggling to recall, but it was an 85, I was there for something,

and I don't remember, maybe family, maybe a keynote or business. But it was one of these kind of like we were today, like a country club, a hotel, like a big thing. And somebody was having an 85th birthday party. And there were so many people there, they were all wearing these t-shirts, and I do what I normally do.

I was listening, not on some Yentah stuff, contextualizing. And the punchline of this, not to go too long-winded, was there were 22-year-olds talking to 60-year-olds, saying, my grandfather worked for Joe, and he's the reason our family did that. I just remember vividly, I'm even getting weirdly emotional right now, thinking, and he's the reason our family did that. I just remember vividly, I'm even getting weirdly emotional right now, thinking this

is what the world does not talk about with business that it is absolutely just as easy to build an empire. And I'm going pretty fast. Not only was he 85, not only did all these people travel, all these people, I think I might have been out of our zone. I'm trying to remember, from people like I'm from Chicago, for his 80th birthday, that kind of lightly knew him because of the legacy he left as an entrepreneur

having this company that put people on. I remember saying to myself, that's gonna be me. I remember thinking, this is something that needs to be talked about because even then, this was like seven or eight, five, seven, eight years ago, business was misunderstood. something that needs to be talked about because even then, this was like seven, eight, five, seven, eight years ago, business was misunderstood. And now as our country divides even more capitalism business,

like there's like a blanket demonization that I think is wildly misunderstood, not on some like the money rule. Like more on actually like you just can be kind and build an empire. Well, that's like multi-generational impact. And then imagine if you could go see the actual community where he employed all those people like this store on this main street here, like businesses have, look at the towns

that have been totally revitalized because somebody moves something somewhere. And my point is, I think that's accepted. Like people like Detroit did this because that's business, business, business. For me, the impact was the humanity. That you can use business as a format to touch tens, hundreds, if not millions of people, done right. And I think there's a way to do it. I really, you know, and I used to say this back to smoke and fire. There's a lot of content on me and the internet saying things like, I don't want Steve Jobs legacy because I don't like the way he treated employees

or the narrative that people followed. Whether he did or not, it became the narrative. I think this is the culmination of that. This is me putting a flag in the ground and saying, listen, the alpha way to win. Like sustained way to win is actually grounded in kindness and gratitude and empathy and accountability. And we can get there. I've done it. I've seen lots of other people do it. And I actually think in a world where Gen Z is going to have ridiculous amounts of options. You know,

when it's talking about the great resignation, the great resignation isn't because the government's subsidizing, it's because people have options. You can make $85,000 a year on TikTok. Well, and do you think the ultimate thing to have someone say about you is like, oh, he or she was very successful, very good at what they were doing. And they weren't a piece of shit. It's my number one. Yeah. It's my number one. It's the only thing I think about. But it's harder to measure, right? This is what you talk about a little bit in the book.

It's so much harder to measure. Like how do you know day to day that you're getting there? You know, it's funny. You, I know that. And then something hit me this week. This week Bobby Gelenon and Shirley had their 10th anniversary at Vayner and Tyler had his eighth. And Demayo, who now works at Vayner Sports, had his ninth.

And Mattabell tweeted out yesterday because I was on the today show and it was a good, it was kind of like sometimes they just hit. It was like a good one for me. It was like this is really what I'm saying. She said, for all the people that have been asking me why I've worked for this guy for seven years in an industry that has 30% turnover every year, this.

And you're right, it's not easy to measure. But in the macro, it's very easy to measure in a 15 year window. It's called retention. Right. Well, to go to the great resignation, people aren't quitting jobs that they love. They're quitting jobs that were very well paid or... And my argument is, when we clip this video in five years, people can be quitting jobs that they like a lot.

It's just a game of options. And I think the long... So we saw it with the long tail of influencers. My first book, the only other one I felt like this about, aka, I think it's just going to be successful because it's going to hit a chord. The argument I made in 2008 was the long tail of YouTube for all intensive purposes was going to be lucrative. And if you go right now on Amazon and sort my reviews, people shit on me saying, yeah, yeah, we're going to make $80,000 talk about lipstick or honey on YouTube.

And it happened greater than I predicted. I think that's gonna happen with NFTs. I think about all the people that have been art directors for VaynerMedia making 80 to 150,000 a year. A third of those never make it into the door because they're gonna sell their NFTs in 2031. I think that the world continues to build technologies in server-based, whether centralized or decentralized,

that continue to create options for the human. And I think that's gonna play out. So to your point, right now that's the case, I argue that you better get a board to what I'm talking about here, because you're gonna need to be remarkable to win the supply and demand game of this. As you know, stoicism has had a big impact on my life and it's helped me so much through

the last 15 years. And it's something I tried to share with others sometimes. That's a book recommendation. One of the things we've tried to do over the years is create some physical embodiments of Stoic philosophy. Just sort of physical reminders of these ideas have got the Marcus Arelius bust on my desk. My whole office, my home even is sort of reminders

of these ideas from the ancient stoics. Maybe that's something you would want this time of year or as you're looking to give something to someone in your life to introduce them to the ideas of stoicism. Maybe that's members of your team or your unit. Maybe that's a friend you know who's going through something. Anyways, we put together a 2021 gift guide of these things.

You can check that out at dailystoke.com slash gift guide. It's 10 awesome gift ideas for the stoics in your life. The obstacle is the way leather bound book, the daily stoic leather bound book. We've got action guides, we've got digital courses, there's the daily stoic lifeoke, We've got Action Guides, We've got Digital Courses, There's the Daily Stoke Life Membership. We've got Signed Personalized Editions of All My Books. Awesome stuff like that for you or for someone in your life.

Check that out at dailystoke.com slash gift guide. So let's talk about these soft skills for a second because I think a lot of people's impression of you is like ambitious Gary Hustler Gary, grind Gary You know and now you're talking about empathy and kindness and and I get a little bit of this on my stuff People are like what are you woke now? Would you politically correct? Yeah, because you're saying that you should care about people of what is that? That's the climate we're in.

I do a lot of, it was funny we were talking about you in the car and we're just talking about how much you read. And I was like, it's funny, he reads books, the way I read comments and it's all information gathering and I've been doing a ton of homework on the late 60s just to give me pattern recognition of how I wanna navigate this year. Because we're clearly there.

It's all the same shit, wildly different, same shit. And, you know, I think this is what happens. People are on emotional tilt, empathetic to those realities. I'm not overtly worried about that. You know, I feel like I've, this is, like this has been pretty in my content if people looked for it. What I mean is like, what's this aversion to people saying you should be kind of in this? I know what you're saying. It's crazy.

It's because people think that it's grounded in people politicizing everything. If you've decided your framework on society is everything is a political issue, you're gonna try very hard to figure out what is it, is it red or blue? Actually, it's really funny and my team's been hearing this. I've been really having this weird feeling about purple. The color purple?

Yeah, okay. And not the movie though, that was remarkable. this weird feeling about purple. The color purple? Yeah. And not the movie though, that was remarkable. I'm just very hot on how simplistic what I'm trying to tell the world is through business and really life, which is purple's awesome. Like if you're fully blue, if you're fully red, you're wildly vulnerable.

You mean a mix of both is what you're saying? Yes. Like that if I was born in this country, I'd probably, and very aware of how impossible it is to win a presidential election through being an independent, the Ross Perot gave it a real fucking run, and I think I'm way more charismatic than Ross. You know he ran with a stoic, Admiral Stockton. I did not know that, but I'm excited to hear that. It makes even more sense now that I'm a little stocked, too. I did not know that, but I'm excited to hear that. It makes even more sense now that I'm a stoic.

And so I think there's something very real about purple. I live it in business. When people, you know, it's funny, a couple of my friends, acquaintances, they're like, oh, I'm like, this is not coddling. Yeah. Like, and first of all, I'll fucking kill you. Like, you know, like, it's like kind of like,

this is sharp, I'm like, I'll fucking kill you. Like, you know, like, it's like kind of like, this is sharp, I'll be like, I actually genuinely believe that leadership done this way makes you more money. Yeah. Like, this is not like, I'm not here for like, let's, like VaynerMedia's code word internally is let's build a honey empire. Honey over vinegar, empire is not a soft word.

I'm not fucking giving eighth place trophies. There's incredible amounts of things in blue land that I'm like, eh, I don't wanna give eighth place trophies. Yeah. But the reality is that I know this is real. I'm comfortable with people's reactions to it. I'm aware that people knew me as wine Gary for seven years,

and there was no other Gary. You know, I am aware that I had friends that told me after I sold Rezzi and had some big IPOs that I was crazy to do garage sale videos because it was gonna make me seem not elevated. Right. I'm aware that now a lot of people think of me as Gary B.

With in the NFT space. I'm going to be known for a lot of shit. But do you think like sports have figured this out, right? That it's like, oh, maybe there's other ways to win and screaming at people and using them up as these sort of expendable, like suddenly they're caring about culture and they're caring about load management and sleep and all the, like to me it makes perfect sense that the things you're talking about would come to business and all elements of life

because this sort of brutal, you're talking about this beginning of the book like the doggy dog, like I'm gonna destroy you zero sum mindset for business and life and it's not only is it not the only way to do things? When talent has leverage, it's the worst way to do things. 100%. As a matter of fact, taking from sports,

there's something else that I think I wanna make a compelling conversation for that I hope evolves. In sports, even though it drives me crazy as a diehard, the jets play the bills this week. There are a rival, they've been bad for a long time, they've finally got their shit together, they're beating our faces in. I wanna kill everybody,

because I'm irrational in sports land. Sure. And the game ends and they're hugging. Yeah, where they're swapping jerseys before the game. And now that I'm in the business representing players, it's actually more beautiful than you think. They're catching up with friends and asking them to support their non-pro.

Like if you put like some of the talks there, the perception versus the reality is staggering. Because it benefits them in the off season. Then they can go text guys, hey, you gotta come here. Plus, this is a good place to press. Of course, and like, and they think about life after football now,

all these kids wanna be entrepreneurs, they're all done at 35. Except for a couple of characters in Tampa, these guys wrap up at 35 and they do their thing and they do business with their, we don't have that in business. I, I compete with people directly that I actually genuinely like. And I try to have relationships with them. And they could be less interested because they've made the business thing, the entire encompassing. So in sports, you can beat the fuck out of each other, but then hug it out. But in business, if I beat you in a pitch for the Pepsi business,

you hate me forever. And I see you at bankwits at South Buy at at Cannes, and you're mean to me, and you talk shit. Like, and that's everybody, and that's crazy. I had R.C. Buford on the GM of the Spurs, did the Spurs Dynasty. They have a alumni locker room at their practice facility. And I was thinking about how amazing that is, like, after these guys have finished playing,

they can live anywhere in the world. What does it say about your culture that they continue to live in San Antonio by choice, first and foremost, and then they can... They can't shut up to San Antonio, but like, there's other places. I don't think that's insult to San Antonio. It's not.

And then they come in to work for free just to hang out, right? Like, that's what I think thinking about some of these things gets you, It gets you a culture that sustains itself that you don't have to continue to enforce by force. Let's go again to things that may not seem as obvious. I agree. Amazing. A thing that I think some people kind of know, but they don't think it 30-year terms. Fine. Let me give you one that I don't think people think about. If your office is not political, people go faster. Let's just, let's go there.

What have I observed? My companies are fast, speed, like in sports matters in business. In a real way. First to market. In a real way. Pivot quickly. Like when you eliminate fear, you can go fast.

When people aren't overthinking every word and every meeting because, oh, wait a minute, karma and I locked that and then he's gonna write me, like, and you don't just mean like politics, like elections, you mean politics, like, I am born to see, yeah. You, every company on earth, like you walk, and we have, listen, we have a good, but it's human.

Sure. You can't, new people are coming in every day. You can't catch them all. It's not Pokemon. You know, and so like, you know, I think what is happening is what I've noticed is we're winning because people are less scared because we're really focused on these things.

It really, really matters. And, but it matters in like funny ways. It's like, and then also like, you know, to And then also, what I really get excited about is when I look at them like this, and I go, it's funny. Conviction with humility is a concoction that gets interesting, right? Because you can't separate them. They enhance each other. Correct. So when I started thinking about them as ingredients, I was like, huh, you know, like, you know, accountability is really fascinating. And of course, accountability works well with conviction and tenacity.

And this is like me, the misunderstandings, right? I can go hard. But if I loot, like, I'll be the first to like put out ungodly amounts of content in seven years being like, guys, I missed it. I don't know why. I thought NFT. I actually like that. I at nausea have talked about passing on Uber because I enjoy it because I enjoy my losses. So I think that gets into stuff. And then obviously, the elephant in the room that real talk about really not knowing me just through my content, when everybody that got like previous of this or got a little wind of it, we're like, canters your weakness. And they're right, Gary Vee, like in this setting, Gary Vee is a fucking dominant force of candor. No, it's the emphasis on the first part. It was Gary Vaynerchuk struggled mightily. A, I am fearful, here's actually talk about something

that's powerful. My greatest fear was to create fear in my companies. I hate fear. You don't want a culture of fear in the business. And that's what I think everybody does. Yeah. And I didn't want to rule by fear, because I know it's powerful.

Only the paranoid survive. And my dad ruled by fear. So I didn't want to rule by fear, because I know it's not- Only the paranoid survive. And my dad ruled by fear. So I became very visceral to it. When I had to wake up four or five years ago, and finally the subconscious became the conscious, and I realized that my lack of candor actually was creating a ton of fear at VaynerMedia, because people didn't know where they stood and you would have, I would tell people what they wanted to hear, you're avoiding things.

That's right. No, I was saging, I was trying to coach it through in a different way. I would, I didn't care about money. That creates politics, right? Because people are like, we're not getting the truth, we got to do this. Correct, side actors. Correct.

And more importantly, pandering to me, because I'm the ruler, right? And so when I really had that, that was a really dark moment for me in my career because when you realized the thing you most didn't wanna do was happening. And so then I had to market to myself. I was like, canter doesn't work for me

and literally chipped away at it. And when the word kind went in front of it, it's been wild. And by the way, the last 18, 24 months, where my game has gone from a 10 out of 100 to call it maybe I'm a 60 out of 100 right now, that 50 has been monumental in my business success. Interesting.

And so that motivated me to say, fuck, I can't believe how much of an impact this is having because I had a lot of things going for me. But man, just this one, what happens if I actually get people to truly just deploy accountability? Because everybody that is listening right now has worked with somebody who just blames people for everything, it just is what the way it is.

And like, if you make that change, everybody around you will adjust very quickly, right? Patience, I've come to learn was so easy for me and is like impossible for everybody. Mainly, this is how I got down the path, mainly because I didn't realize how many people valued other people's opinions. So of course you wanna be successful at 25,

you wanna show your mom, you wanna show your friends, you wanna show the world. Of course you're lacking patients. You want to be MW, you want to Rolex, you want to blue check mark, you want to million followers, you want to be an entrepreneur, and all this bad behavior happened in the last decade because of it. Well, I think it's important to point out how they interrelate with each other because this is, so when people hear accountability or humility or candor, in isolation, they're okay, but they can also turn into problems, right? So for the Stoics, when we're talking courage, temperance, justice, wisdom, courage for an unjust cause or a stupid cause, right? Does it work? Patience for something... That is a working.

If you're not holding yourself accountable to the patients or you're not being empathetic, they all interrelate to each other. Can I ask you a question? What about this one? Because this one is, I'm number two. Gratitude? No, gratitude is my fucking every thing. Gratitude is number one on this list and back for a reason.

Everyday's good. Of course, you're alive. You're alive? Nobody died. You're a black swan of black swans. We should not exist. 800, that's right. 400 trillion a one.

Yeah. 850 million people on earth do not have access to clean water. The fuck am I upset about this meeting getting canceled? And how much would you have killed to be in the position you were in right now and taking for granted? Right?

Like, we would be, the stoves talk about how, if we lost what we have, we would be devastated. And if we saw someone else with what we have five years earlier, we'd be insanely jealous of them. And then we'd sit around going like, being unhappy with what we have. It's insane. Yeah. So, no, but number one. So, yeah, self-awareness.

So, this is the one that I'm passionate about. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no why somebody be like, fuck this dude. I'm empathetic to that. I get all of it, it makes it palpable. To me, this is why ego is so dangerous, right? You can't make stuff for other people, whether it's art or products. Like, when you think about Kanye West or Steve Jobs, we think of them as egotistical people. Not at all. They couldn't have been while they were making stuff.

Incredibly not true. Because it was rooted, not just in empathy for other people, but an understanding of what where a hundred percent The reverse engineering the consumer has to be audacious. They may be aggressive. They may be they listen I do it. They may enjoy the communication of what they're up to in your face But Muhammad Ali and Babe Ruth did the same thing and people mad at them until they weren't. Like, it's not super complicated. Like, if you're good enough to call your shots, so how do you cultivate self awareness?

That's the paradox. Well, we're funny about this book and I appreciate you reading it. You saw I actually took a real stab at it. Like, I really sat there and said, okay, great. I can put these 13 things down and what? Enjoy yourself, right? So I did these exercises. I really tried to create this thing that I replicate

because it's been asked of me a lot through the years and the game I won with some people, more inner circle occasional fans is sit down, three to four people that are closest to you in the world, have a coombaiya for two hours and eliminate all fear from them on giving you the truth and then create an anonymous structure for them to tell you your strengths and weaknesses and then whatever feet like once you start playing with that

whatever is resonating or not resonating you start double clicking into right you start challenging yourself to be uncomfortable like like to me uh can I actually, I'm gonna go very vulnerable here. The candor thing happened very simply. I went in, saw an interaction between two former employees on some social network, and they didn't like me. And I loved them. And I went to bat for them for a long time,

and I entitled them. I over-catal them because I wasn't able to give them feedback. And then I got to my wit's end, and I fired them. And I'm the bad guy. And I sat there and I said, I am a man who long ago became fulfilled financially. Fucking $100,000. That was it.

It all changed after that. Not another time in my life has anything felt like anything. There's all extra from there. All extra from that little of a number. Okay. It's incredibly nice. It's why I've been so happy. I'm a man that's not motivated by that.

I care about how many people show up to my funeral. I've got all these things going on. I'm talking all these things. And why are these two people show up to my funeral. I've got all these things going on. I'm talking all these things, and why are these two wonderful people who had plenty of love for me at one point? Why are they sitting here having a combo, shitting on me? I'm like, I'm doing, I pushed myself further.

I'm like, I've got a flaw, and I'm gonna fucking fix it. And I knew what it was, but I didn't, couldn't like get it to your, you know, I can't get it to your fucking tongue. I'm like, it's fucking candor. And fuck. And then I started going down, why do I hate it so much? And I go into, my mom doesn't have it.

She's my hero. She raised me. Then I looked, my dad has it. But the way he delivered it was so negative. Everybody hated my dad that worked for him. You overcompensated. I overcompensated. Like, I've come to learn that when something's over here

you want to go in the middle not over like but I went I fucking went. That's what temperance is. The perfect respect. So I didn't have the right temperance on it and it became my half and I'm excited to talk about it. And it's so crazy because it is my strength as a public figure. I love your noble shit. It's like, it's all I get, and it's because of the context of the setting. Speaking into the ether, piece of cake, speaking to Sally who I know has a sick kid,

fuck me. Right. In the over-empathy and over- compassion and the over-synpathy, which are nice things, I went too far. I couldn't find my temperance, you know, compassion and the old burr sympathy which are nice things I went too far. I couldn't find my temperance, you know. Is this thing all?

Check one, two, one, two. Hey y'all, I'm Kiki Palmer. I'm an actress, a singer, an entrepreneur, and a Virgo. Just the name of you. Now, I've held so many occupations over the years that my fans lovingly nicknamed me Kiki Kiki Pabag Palmer. And trust me, I keep a bag, love. But if you ask me, I'm just getting started.

And there's so much I still want to do. So I decided I want to be a podcast host. I'm proud to introduce you to the baby Mrs. Kiki Palmer podcast. I'm putting my friends, family, and some of the dopest experts in the hot seat to ask them the questions that have been burning in my mind. What will former child stars be if they weren't actors? What happened to sitcoms? It's only fans, only bad. I want to know. So I asked my mom about it. that have been burning in my mind. What will former child stars be if they weren't actors? What happened to sitcoms?

It's only fans, only bad. I want to know. So I asked my mom about it. These are the questions that keep me up at night. But I'm taking these questions out of my head and I'm bringing them to you. Because on Baby This Is Kiki Palmer, no topic is off limits.

Follow Baby This Is Kiki Palmer, whatever you get your podcast. Hey, prime members, you can listen early and app-freed on Amazon music. Download the Amazon music app today. No, that makes sense. I'm in this writers group, like James Clear, Mark Panson. We get together once a year.

We sit around and everyone gets to talk. We all take turns. We get to talk about the person as if they're not in the room. And they can't say anything. All they can do is take notes. And it's super powerful, because you get to see how people you actually care about,

not just random people on the internet or whatever. And it's kind of like everyone's caught good candor. Yeah, yeah. And, but because they are in the room, you're still gonna be kind. It's a problem, right? And so- And you can go all the way there.

Right, but you can plant the seed of what they can take back and go, you know what they're right, I am doing too much of this or not enough of this, or why am I being held back here? And then you take that back and you work on it. It's ironic because we're talking about self-awareness, but one of the best ways to get it is from other people.

I would say a spouse being the primary way because they know you better than anyone and they can also speak to you the most directly. I think that it is just a big goddamn deal and all of this is and it's really time that we actually talk about it as like the ultimate title to this is the soft skills are hard. Ooh, happy you could title.

Thank you. And so that to me is what, right, because it's a double cut, right? Oh, fuck. Anyway, I'm just ready for this, because I know it to be true. I know it to be true. Of course you can build an empire by not being nice. A lot of them are that way. Of course.

But if you're on the other side of reading it, wouldn't it be nice to enjoy it? Like, have you met the 70 year old Titans that did it the other way? There are just like, there are just like, that person's fucking life blows. Like I love that you put these people on a pedestal. They're not happy.

They're not as happy as you think. Like, for real. Yeah. No, no, it's, you would, if's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know,

it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know Ford. Well, you're jealous of this person who's traveling on a private jet to some exotic, but what if you had a life that you didn't need to run away from?

Right, like, like what are we talking about? Like, yeah. All right, a couple more quick riffs. Mark Serelyas says, strict with yourself, tolerant with others. How do you like that? A lot. Yeah? Yes.

I would actually argue that that's where I need to find a little bit of balance. My strictness with me is such a healthy one, and my tolerance with others may be too extreme back to lack of candor. I'm trying to get a little better. Coddling, entitlement. But my strictness with me is really cool.

It's not like I eat a five or wake up, but it's this ability to not compromise on a couple of things. And the biggest one is kindness. Yeah, or it's like if you're driven and ambitious, you work 15 hours a day, it can be really easy to just expect. That from other people, one of my favorite videos

you're talking to someone, they're like, you're like, the other people, they're not owners of the business. You can't expect what you expect of yourself of them. It's absurd. I once said to somebody, I'm like, you're talking as if we're talking about slavery. The fuck are you talking about? Yeah, I have zero expectations of others.

If I'm being really honest, I take it. That way you're always pleasantly surprised. Yeah. And I'm accountable. It's like, look, I mean, yeah, I love that. And I'm a believer of it. Yeah, and look, it's called self-discipline. Right?

Not, you know, nothing else. It's self-discipline. I'm busy a lot about why people point fingers, why people have fallen in love with judgment of others And I've come to realize it's because they're practicing on themselves You know my inability to over judge myself is exactly why I don't judge others We're we're holding ourselves up to we're the and jury, and we're putting ourselves into jails. Right.

Right? Like it's nice to have aspir, I mean, I'm ambitious as fuck. It's nice to have standards. I'm not saying that, but like this notion of beating yourself up when you fall short on something that is a standard or an ambition is incredibly unhealthy.

What's like you would never talk to someone else the way that you talk to yourself. But what's funny is mine is actually slightly twisted on that. I talk to everybody the way I talk to myself, which is why I talk so nicely to everybody. But that's how you want it, right? But a lot of people talk to themselves in a way that they would never tolerate this piece of stuff.

Correct, because most people try to prop themselves up by tearing everybody else down. Right. All right, so Mark's really, again, the best revenge, the best way to get even is to not be like them. I think there's something that I like that. My version on revenge is a little bit more like the inability to even care about their action. So, shrug it off. In a more audacious way. Not only shrug it off, recognize that you're about to actually stick it to them by not even acknowledging it happened.

It's an extreme version of cutting them out of your ecosystem. Sure. That's how I've dealt with people that have done really not nice things or trying to go, it's almost as if it didn't happen. It goes on this nice little shelf and that's nice. You can play with yourself in that cocoon of whatever you feel about me. You've now become a energy that is just like not a good use of time. And even giving it time. And to be frank, I've evolved a little bit from that.

I'm now receiving that energy and kind of deploying really deep sympathy. The thought at this point in my life that you want to spend any of your time hurting somebody else's feelings seems outrageously foreign and really just makes me feel compassionate. The ultimate person who suffers from it is them. A hundred, all that we're doing out here is somebody said something to me yesterday, did something kind of cool, giving away some stuff. And they were like kind of asking, I was like, late, I was getting home, I was just replying, like,

it's just because I have so much love to give. I don't know what to do with it all. And I really think that that's, that a lot of people live the reverse. They have so much pain, they're trying to get it out. You know, for me, it's an abundance of love. I'm like, fuck it, like, I don't want it.

Like, what am I, like, this is like, I better do stuff. Right. I think that's how hate works. All right. So I think anyone who talks about stuff publicly, let alone puts out a book like this. And then mine, I think the tricky part is it's easy to talk about. It's hard to do. Yes. Epic Titus says, don't talk about your philosophy, embody it. Yes. Or don't talk about it, be about it.

Sometimes I wonder, like, if I'd never written about it, but I believed it, could I get convicted of these things in court? Right? Like, if somebody didn't know who I was, they just bumped into me on the street. How close am I actually to the things I write and talk about? How's that journey for you? Uncomfortable, remarkable. I would say that I understate me.

I understate the things I live. Okay. I really believe that. How do you get there? Well, I get there by doing it. Sure. I'm doing it. Yeah. And I get there by understating it.

Like I, look, I have Andy and D Rock here behind the cameras. You know, they'll probably agree with me. I'm starting to actually this book and a lot of others, like the last two years, I would say that I'm starting to peel away my current a little bit more and show this stuff more. Because it's hard to talk about this stuff.

It's like, hey, I'm humble. The fuck is that content? Sure. So you got to find your balance because that's not nice. But to answer your question, the thing that I've always loved is I'm more about the things I talk about and I talk about them at scale. But earlier you were saying, kind of, that you were a 10 before now, you're a 60. So you're still at a D, right?

So you're still moving. Yeah, but this book's also not called 13. No, that's a good point. So you feel like the book is like, I stink at this. Yeah. Yeah, like I don't want, listen, he worked for somebody that used to work for me. I don't want him to know one story from Sam that undermines Gary V. I have never wanted it.

I live very loose. I have admins that have access to everything. My team has, these guys have access to everything. I have no interest in letting any other human being ever have leveraged on me. The thought of saying one thing and doing another to then worry if I can control them to never say it is fucking assinine. Sure, but I don't know, kindness, it's easy to say and then someone does something cool. We have these instantaneous reactions to things.

You have to check yourself. You know, we got to this a little bit in this talk, and I'm starting to like, this is starting to come top of mind for me. I would, do you know how many words I could have put in this book? This didn't have to be these 13 traits. There's a lot of other shit.

These are ones that I live. Like these are like, you know, these are the ones I live and the ones that I notice and I can see them and, yeah, I mean, I don't feel vulnerable. It's good. No, no, no, that's great. I think I probably somewhere in hindsight realized 15 years ago, oh, I'm going for it. Right?

And when I realized that, I probably, you know what I had a good read on, that the internet was going to expose everything. Like a very good read. Like I talked about it back then. Like in Wine Library TV, like I would reference it. And I think by knowing that, and by knowing I was gonna go for it, I must have become a much better version of myself on all these things because I was like, I don't want the vulnerability. But it's something you worked on and are working on.

These are the ideals and you're aspiring to get there day to day, right? It's not just... Yes, but I'd be not authentic if I didn't say that for the 12 of them, they come uncomfortably easy to me, always have, and are foundational in why I think have outsized results. I'm really proud of myself because I don't think I could have made this book would have been called 12, seven years ago. You wouldn't have admitted the half. I grew up in a family where complaining was the single worst thing anyone could do. Because we came from the old country and mom and dad had to go outside for a toilet and

didn't have bread. So the fuck are you upset that your Nintendo's not working? So I, we demonized complaining in my family. Somehow I feel like that led into not being or talking about vulnerabilities. And so I don't think seven years ago I could have talked about the vulnerability of candor, the way I did here, and I, to your point, I aspire to be more vulnerable over the next 40 years, which I think will push me

into new places. I love that. All right, so last thing, because last time we talked, we went a little bit viral. We talked about your favorite three words. You're going to die. Yes. Or as the Stokes say, momento, Mori, to me,

that ties into gratitude, right? Not just look at what you have, but the fact that you're still alive. It's huge. Every day, Senaqa says, if you go to bed at night and you go, I've died. It's the end of my life.

When you wake up in the morning, it's all gravy from there. It's really how I think. Bro, I had a recurring dream 20 times a year, not like two. From third to eighth grade grade that my family decided to go back to Russia for a family vacation. And the plane goes down, of course, in Siberia, straight out of Rocky. And every time I survived, but the two other family members were always

random. Okay. I once prayed on my porch when I was in seventh grade for 20 minutes because I thought my mom died in a car accident because I was watching my brother and sister and she was an hour late and they didn't have cell phones back then and what happened was there was an accident she was just in traffic. My relationship with the depths of only caring about the health and well-being of 7, 10, 12, 15 people, there is nothing else. The reason this is also fucking easy for me, all of it, all of it, is because there is nothing else. Right.

For real, for fucking real. I know that it might not land for people. I confuse the fuck out of people, but you want to buy the jets? I'm like, no, no, I want to try to buy the jets. I love my process. But, but, I'm like, no, no. I want to try to buy the jets. I love my process. But, but, yes, it's my art. Like I love being an entrepreneur. It's fun, it's my game.

I love entrepreneurship and everything that you see that I'm doing, the way people like golf. Sure. The way people like sailing, the way people like skiing, the seriousness that I take it with is so non-existent. Of course I can deal with so much. It's not pressure. My dad and sister, I love them, but they have my sisters and real estate, my dad is the wine store. Their most stressful thing once a week is like something that happens to me 974 times a day without it even hitting my radar.

That's not to say I'm great and they're not. That says to me, I can see how people see the world differently and what a fucking blessing to me that are two biggest clients calling tomorrow and firing us would be like, and I'd be like, you know, it would be, but not really. Yeah, I mean, if you're playing with house money, so, okay, so you said, you had to give some of the back, but it's not yours anyway.

Well, I've also been a little bit, like I've had my own little weirdness on this, not only is it house money, and I've talked about this in nausea, I am like romantic of the concept of losing it all and building it back up. It won't happen because I'm too conservative. Again, another thing that doesn't seem't happen because I'm too conservative.

Again, another thing that doesn't seem obvious, like I'm too thoughtful. But like... You like the narrative of potentially being able to do that? You know what I would like the most? I love being an athlete. You know, when I watched Trey Young be the villain in a Madison Square Garden against my Knicks,

I had a very funny thing with it. They were my Knicks. They finally are back. We're in the playoffs. And I'm watching Trey and I'm like every chemical, chemical, like things you can't control. In my body is I understand this and I want this. Like I want all of Madison Square Garden booing me because the feeling, like it's why I love Novak Chokobitch. I don't like Feds. I'm like Rafa. I like Novak. Why?

Because Novak plays in center court against Rafa or FED. Normally FED in Wimbleton. The whole stadium, the whole country, the whole world is rooting for Roger. And when Novak sometimes hits like a shot that's improbable in a big spot, and he just stops and just looks at everybody, that's the apex for me. Because that's competitiveness at its finest. I understand it, I fucking live for it. And so like, this is why I fear it, this is why purple, right? Like, competition is fun. By the way, that's a very important point. I don't want you to be all hurt by my winning.

I just want to win. Right. People understand. It's a winner mentality, winner takes off thing, but not an actual expense. It's what I love about business. You can eat. Because it's not zero.

It's not. Like VaynerMedia is fucking on fire, but guess what? Eight thousand other agencies are crushing. This is something I have to talk to authors about. No book is stealing a space from someone. It's like, if people are reading, we're all winning. I can pump to when people, and I've gotten to the extreme version where now,

by the way, when I heard you sold 1.2 million copies of this, I was like, I was like, fuck yeah, because that's incredible. That means that that is humanly possible to do for a book that doesn't have Trump in the title. Yes. You know, and that it's positive and that isn't also isn't written by Matthew McConaughey or something. Correct. That's incredible.

Matthew didn't sell 1.2 million books. No, he didn't. And so, sorry Matt, I know he's a little weird. That's the competition. Of course. And by the way, that's not like anything, like, I fucking love Matthew, when he reached out, and can I do your podcast, couldn't wait,

I want to put everybody, I'm in a very weird place now, I'm a more extreme version of myself, maturity, like advancement, I fucking want everybody to win. Why not? Of course. Fuck, why not? I promise you, if you're listening right now, and you think somebody else's winnings

are coming out of your pocket, you've lost before you started. I promise you with all my fucking heart, you better get into therapy, you better start listening to other shit. I'm telling you right now, if that's you, you need to fucking really reframe this conversation. It is the fakes thing in the world.

It's the boogie man. And it's also, unfortunately, the fakes thing in the world. It's the boogie man, and it's also, unfortunately, the trait that is actually limiting you. A great expression, I think, I like this. Envy is the only sin that's not any fun. Right? It punishes you. It sucks. No one is having less fun than the jealous person. It's a poison.

Jealousy and envy really scares me. It comes from the deepest depths of insecurity. When I was growing up and I saw my friends being jealous with their girlfriends, it was just clean data. I'm like, you're just insecure. I've seen it in business. It's insecurity at scale. And it needs to be addressed because it's not good. Right. It's just, it's insecurity at scale. And it needs to be addressed because it's not good.

Right. It's just not. Okay, so last part of this, how does, because I love when you say this and I think about it too, but there is a tension between life is short, memento more, you could go at any moment and the best piece of advice you give people,

which is you've got so much time. So much. So what's the tension? How do you balance out? Easy. Life is short is you've got so much time. So much. So what's the tension? How do you balance out? Easy. Life is short. You've got time. If you think life is long, it helps you in so many ways.

If you happen to die suddenly, you wouldn't have known anyway. Okay. Sure. It's the end of your problems. Right. People are like, no, Gary, life's a sure. I'm like, good news. It's over anyway. Like, if a tree falls on my head when I walk out of here,

I'm not gonna know. Right. You know, maybe I'll be up in heaven, be like, mother, I should have never went to Ryan's store. I was so stupid, we could have done it on Zoom on the last Tuesday, we went out for 40 more years. Well, the jets ever went as super well without me. You know, that would be what was going on in the heaven, right?

Like, so my thing is, my concept is practical. Life is long and you believe it, you get more patient, more thoughtful, happier, and life is good. If you're right, that life is short, well, when you die out of nowhere, you're not going to know anyway, so the fuck are we talking about? And this whole concept that life is short leads to like you living your best life is the greatest joke of all time. Every person I know that is like deeply believes that is frantic and doing all sorts of weird shit.

It's not like the life is short crowd is in fucking Maui or like, you know, chilling and fucking lobster catching and cause they love like, the life is short crowd is completely out of fucking control and doing crazy ass shit. They're far from happy. To me, it's life is short,

so have a great self-contained day today where you did everything that you could today, and then you're grateful if you get tomorrow, but you're not putting anything off. You're also not, to me, okay. People, I'm sorry, because you're not putting anything off. You're also not, okay. People, I'm sorry, because you got me excited. Like, I'm not talking about complacency out here.

People are like, I'm talking about patience. People are really bad in taking a word and deciding it meant something else. When I say patience, I see people like, thinking I'm talking about complacency and laziness. Resignation or something. Right, I'm like, no, that's why those words exist. I'm talking about complacency and laziness. Resignation or something. Right. I'm like, no, that's why those words exist. I'm talking about patience.

Like, it's just unbelievable how nuanced these words are and how people decide them, but they decide them because they decided it before they even heard it. You've decided before you even heard it. The lack of openness, this no culture we live in. It's happening right now heavy with the NFT thing, and it's just reminiscing for me for O5 and 95. Why can't you be in the maybe business?

Why can you just say no to NFTs and you haven't done a single hour of homework? Right, yeah, we're just not having an opinion. Just be honest, we're gonna go. Well listen, now you're getting into something I'm really passionate about that I have, like, I gotta love you. No, this is fun for me. I actually have almost no opinions on, like, I think that no opinion is the superpower and I've come to realize that's me on almost everything.

The amount of opinions I have is very limited. I just don't have a lot of bandwidth to like do a thing. You're in with two feet on the stuff you do have an opinion about. a bandwidth to like do a thing. But you're in with two feet on the stuff you do have an opinion about. And both hands. Yeah. Like I'm fucking all in on what I do. But you know, everyone just feels like they need to like like I though rare occasion that somebody asked me a left field question on stage where I get to say I don't know is my

favorite. It happens only unfortunately once every two years because people stay in the pocket. But some guy asked me about some Stephen Hawkins shit and I was like, I don't know. And the react on, remember to Steve Raghaw is like three, it's been a while, though COVID, but I loved it. Because I speak with such conviction and passion that it threw everybody off and I was like,

kind of almost like, spoke to him like, I don't know about most things. I just stay in a very narrow lane where I have massive effort. I think that's why I'm freaking out about this. But that's where humility comes in, right? I think so. He says, I'll just pull an answer out of my ass, right?

I can't look weak. I can't say I don't know. It takes him humility to be like, I literally don't know what any of the things you just said are. And my humility is gaining momentum. I was in a meeting right before COVID. I was really proud of myself. I'm like, okay, I'm taking the next step.

We're in a marketing marketing marketing meeting and somebody used some acronym. I had no idea what was. And I was like, hey, what was PLC? And it was something I should have known. And I was fucking fired up. Because before I'm such a quick read, for the majority of my career, I would, it would, like I'm like, would pontificate on it,

but I wouldn't stop, because I knew that I could figure it out if I could listen. I could see you make it. But it wasn't fake it to, I wasn't faking it. You'll pick it up, you'll figure it out. I'll pick it up.

It was more that, honestly, if they could then say, what do you think I would bail? I would, like, because again, I never, I truly believe this. I'm petrified of being historically incorrect, because I think it's my leverage. And now my career is in a funny spot

where I always felt it. Now I think a lot more people feel it. There's enough wins on the board now where I'm starting to gain momentum on something that is business leverage. So I don't want to fake it till I make it. Like I really don't. And I think a lot of people believe that works.

And I know- The stakes, I really don't. And I think a lot of people believe that works. And I know. The stakes of being wrong, the stakes are higher on being wrong. And you don't want to be caught. Uncompetition, not a money. Yeah, right. People wrong all the time, reboot, money, money, money. I don't care. I want the legacy.

I want the statue at the stadium when I'm done. Not, there's a lot of people with three super bowl rings, but there's only so many people that have a statue outside of their stadium. I want a statue in entrepreneurship. I want a statue. And I don't think you get a statue by making the most money. I think you get a statue by the 360 thing

that I'm talking about. Yeah, it's impact, relationships, work, you know. But by the way, you've got to put up the things. I can't be considered one of the greatest entrepreneurs of all time if I don't put up a real meaningful resume. But I think if I nail this narrative for the next decade, I think I can have one of the biggest impacts on entrepreneurship.

I have a lot of people listening to me. I have very young ages and the reframing of what it takes to win. And people look, we all did it. I did it, we all did it. You look up to something, I'm incredibly aware of what's going on with my TikTok following. I'm incredibly aware of what's going on.

And if I can land that, I'm excited. Well, it's not just how many Super Bowls have come to win. Am I missing my thing? Do you have to go? It's a 44, did I miss it? Yep, I sure did. I'm out of here. I have a live Twitter space. I kind of get interested in this accountability.

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