The Daily Stoic - Let’s Be Good Stoics Today | To Have A More Peaceful Home, Have Fewer of These

Episode Date: November 29, 2024

While some of us sit here with stomachs filled with as many Thanksgiving foods as we could manage, there are those feeling the rumblings of an empty stomach. According to Feeding America, 1 in 7 people in the United States face hunger today, and 1 in 5 are children. Join us in making a small dent in a big problem at dailystoic.com/feeding This year we are personally putting up the first $30,000, with our overall goal to raise $300,000. Every dollar we raise provides 10 meals, so if we hit our goal, that will be three MILLION meals!Do you live outside the US? Check out Action Against Hunger—the global humanitarian organization that fights against hunger across nearly 50 countries. Donate here: https://www.actionagainsthunger.org/📕 We’re excited to announce that we’ve put together a special leatherbound edition of The Daily Dad just in time for the holidays! Check it out at dailydad.com/leather✉️ Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail🏛 Get Stoic inspired books, medallions, and prints to remember these lessons at the Daily Stoic Store: https://store.dailystoic.com/📱 Follow us:  Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, and FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to the daily Stoic early and ad free right now. Just join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcast. I've been traveling a bunch for the tour that I'm on and I brought my kids and my wife with me when I went to Australia. When I'm going to Europe in November, I'm bringing my in-laws also. So, we're not staying in a hotel. We're staying in an Airbnb. The first Airbnb I stayed in would have been in 2010, I think. I've always loved Airbnb, that flexibility, size, location. You can find something awesome. You want to stay somewhere that other guests have had a positive experience. I love the guest favorites feature that helps you narrow down your search to the most popular, coolest houses. I've been using Airbnb forever. I like it better than hotels. So I'm excited that they're

a sponsor of the show. And if you haven't used Airbnb yet, I don't know what you're doing, but you should definitely check it out for your next family trip. Welcome to the Daily Stoic podcast. On Friday, we do double duty, not just reading our daily meditation, but also reading a passage from the daily Stoic, my book, 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance in the Art of Living, which I wrote with my wonderful collaborator, translator, and literary agent, Stephen Hanselman.

So today we'll give you a quick meditation from the Stoics with some analysis from me, and then we'll send you out into the world to turn these words into works. Let's be good Stoics today. Let's be good Stoics today. Marcus Aurelius would have recognized the feeling that you have right now.

So would Seneca and Cato and many of the other Stoics. Marcus Aurelius would have recognized the feeling that you have right now. So would Seneca and Cato and many of the other Stoics. The Romans, like Americans, loved a good feast. They loved wine. They loved breaking bread with their family. We know this because their writings abound with descriptions of overflowing tables and dinners that went long into the night.

But you know what doesn't appear in their writings very often, just as it does not occur to us often enough? How some people don't know this feeling at all. In fact, they are far more familiar with the opposite of it. While some of us sit here with stomachs filled with as many Thanksgiving foods as we could manage, there are those feeling the rumblings

of an empty stomach instead. If you're wondering if you'll ever be able to eat again, they are in a very different way thinking the same thing. According to Feeding American, one in seven people in the United States face hunger today and one in five are children. A number of factors have led to an increase of 13 million people in need of food assistance

over the last two years. That's across 100% of US counties. Although this might not feel so close to home, it very much is and up to 750 million people globally go to bed on an empty stomach. So today, instead of contributing to corporate overindulgence in the form of doorbusters and lightning deals, let us instead put our energy Leading to corporate overindulgence in the form of doorbusters and lightning deals, let

us instead put our energy towards helping the less fortunate. Though as Epictetus reminds us, we don't control a lot in this world, we can help keep at least some people from going hungry. We can alleviate someone's worry and fear. We can put food on their table. I've always felt weird about Black Friday stuff with Daily Stoic. So about five years ago,

I decided to do a food drive instead. On the day after Thanksgiving, we do a food drive. And so with Feeding America, we're trying to come together and feed 3 million people. And the last four years, with your help, we raised more than $550,000, which provided meals for five million people. We didn't solve these enormous problems,

but we made a dent felt by five million people. You did that, I did that, you did that, we did that together. Every year, Daily Stoke puts up the first 10% of the goal. So this year, I'm personally putting up the first $30,000 with an overall goal to raise $300,000. And because each dollar provides 10 meals with Feeding America, if we hit our goal that would be 3 million meals. So let's not give ourselves over to indulgence this Black Friday, or at least entirely.

Let's be good stoics and choose virtue, choose generosity, choose justice. Let's contribute to something larger than ourselves. And you can do that just head over to dailystoic.com slash feeding. That's where we're all doing it together. You can make a small dent in a big problem. And if you live outside the US, check out Action Against Hunger. It's a global humanitarian organization that fights hunger across nearly 50 countries. And I'll link to that in today's show notes or just go to dailystoke.com slash feeding

to make a donation. Seriously, $1 will feed 10 people, provide 10 meals. That's pretty nuts. So let's do it together. Happy Thanksgiving. Hey, it's Ryan. Welcome to another episode of the Daily Stoke podcast. As you know, on Fridays,

we normally do a riff from the Daily Stoke, right? I read the entry from the day, then I riff and I tell you a bit more about it. But I'm not gonna do that today. I'm gonna read from a very similar book. I don't know if you can hear this. I just took this out of the box. This is the leather edition of the Daily Dad,

which I'm really proud about. We've been working on for a long time. I wanna read you an entry from the Daily Dad that is stoic inspired and then tell you a bit about it. You can get this new edition, by the way, at dailydad.com slash leather. If you have the leather, the sort of high-end edition of the Daily Stoic, you know what I'm talking about?

Just something that'll stand the test of time. Just talking to someone who has this copy, they read it every single night, which is just like amazing for me to hear. But I'm gonna read the April 8th entry from the Daily Dad because it is stoic. Inspired to have a more peaceful home, have fewer of these.

These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone, Marcus Aurelius. At the core of most of the conflict between parents and children, and so often spouses, is one thing, judgment. We have opinions, they have opinions, and these opinions are the source of disagreement If we as parents would like to have a better relationship with our children There is one simple thing we can do we can have fewer opinions

Do you really need to have an opinion on what kind of food is served at your daughter's wedding? Even if you're paying for it. Do you need to have an opinion on the way they do their hair their friends or their friends? What does it matter what you think of them or their parents? So what if they like music that sounds weird to you? So what if they want to raise their own kids a different way? Few things in life are better off with your judgment hovering over them. Your family most of all. What Marcus says in this fuller quote is that we always have the power to have no opinion.

And this is a habit I'm working on practicing more in my own life. Look, I don't get video games at all. I don't get why they're fun. I definitely don't get why watching someone else play them is fun, especially these idiots who play on YouTube. They get millions and millions of views. But you know what?

My kids like them. There's a ton of things that my kids like that I like or that I like that they like, right? That's awesome. Do I need them to like everything that I like? Do I need to have an opinion on the fact that they like this? No, I don't. And by having the opinion, my fundamental lack of curiosity or judgment, you know what it's preventing me from doing? From just sitting next to them on the couch and having a good time together. From entering their world.

From understanding what gets them excited. Understanding what's happening in the world today. What lights young people up. I was talking to someone on the podcast the other day about like my kids are really into Pokemon, but like I remember Pokemon not being cool. And so that judgment, that opinion is getting in the way between me understanding and sharing this thing with them. Right?

Look, maybe it's not actually possible to have no opinions, but as parents, as stoics, as human beings, you know what we can get better at? Expressing fewer of these opinions, keeping these opinions to ourselves. have no opinions. But as parents, as stoics, as human beings, you know what we can get better at? Expressing fewer of these opinions, keeping these opinions to ourself, not yucking as they say, someone else is yum, right? The more open-minded, the more chill we are,

the more we appreciate that someone else's opinion is their opinion, and you don't have to have an opinion on their opinion, it's not right or wrong. This is how you have a more peaceful home and a more peaceful life. I find this even with people that don't like daily stoic. They're going, someone doesn't need to read these books. They can read the originals.

Some people don't. Maybe that's them, but some people do. Who needs a memento mori coin? Probably not them. But you know what? Lots of people are interested in it. They do like it. That's fine. Right? Why are you getting upset that other people like things or benefiting from things? And what makes you think that condemning and judging is going to open their mind to anything? No, it's not. I'm just trying to

get better at this in my life. Just allowing things to exist. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Your opinion about them doesn't matter. Someone wrote in, they read this entry and they said, well, what are my sons hanging out with this person? You know, blah, blah, blah. Look, are there some times, okay, this person is a criminal.

You know, this person is X, Y, or Z. Sure, maybe, but more often than not, we're making up justifications for what is fundamentally a subjective thing. And by the way, we could have that opinion and still not express it so directly. We could try to help our kid come around to see what we see, understand what we see.

Look, again, sometimes for matters of safety or, you know, whatever, sure, maybe there are some exceptions to these rules, but generally fewer opinions is better. More openness is better. More understanding is better. Support is better. Let them like what they like. Try to understand why they like what they like, Support what they like. You'll have a more peaceful home. You'll have a more connected home. You'll have a more fun home.

That's what today's message is. I think there's so many parenting lessons in the stoics because in part, many of the stoics were parents. Almost more stoics were parents than not parents, probably. So anyways, if you wanna check out the new edition of The Daily Dad, it makes a great gift. We use the same bindery that we make the Leather Bound Daily Stoic with.

We really put a lot of time and energy on it. It's got, I'm just looking at the back. It's got this awesome little sort of embossed drawing of my two sons and I walking over this bridge down in the panhandle of Florida. It's just sweet. I love this thing. I can't wait for you guys to see it.

You can check out the new book. You can grab it at dailydad.com slash leather. I'll link to it if you wanna pick it up in the Daily Stoke store as well. We're signing copies also. And I hope you have a great Friday. I'll talk to you all again very soon. Be well.

Thanks so much for listening to the Daily Stoke podcast. If you don't know this, Be well. If you like The Daily Stoic and thanks for listening, you can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. And before you go, would you tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey on wonder.com slash survey? Hello, ladies and germs, boys and girls, the Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with his the Grinch holiday podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open

fire. You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like John Hamm, Brittany Broski, and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all. Somebody stole all the children of Whoville's letters to Santa and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real Whoville whodunit.

Can Cindy, Lou, and Max help clear the Grinch's name? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out. Follow Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Spotify, or Apple podcasts.