The Daily Stoic - The Little Things Say Everything | Your Actual Needs Are Small
Episode Date: September 29, 2025 It’s our daily choices—our response to rudeness, our handling of power, how we treat friends, children, the elderly—that reveals the core of who we are.👉 Support the podcast an...d go deeper into Stoicism by subscribing to The Daily Stoic Premium - unlock ad-free listening, early access, and bonus content: https://dailystoic.supercast.com/📘 Grab the hardcover edition of The Daily Stoic here: https://store.dailystoic.com/📖 Preorder the final book in Ryan Holiday's The Stoic Virtues Series: "Wisdom Takes Work": https://store.dailystoic.com/pages/wisdom-takes-work🎙️ Follow The Daily Stoic Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dailystoicpodcast🎥 Watch top moments from The Daily Stoic Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dailystoicpodcast✉️ Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail🏛 Get Stoic inspired books, medallions, and prints to remember these lessons at the Daily Stoic Store: https://store.dailystoic.com/📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, and FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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wasn't much. Antoninus was helping his father-in-law with some stairs. But Hadrian saw it and
it convinced him. This was a man who could be trusted with power. As we said recently, this is
probably because Antoninus's kindness echoed one of the founding myths of Rome, where Aeneas
carried his weak father from a burning Troy. This is actually just one glimpse into Antoninus's
character. We get several more from Marcus Rilius. We're told he took pains to make his friends feel
at ease, even after he became emperor. We're told of an encounter with a customs officer at
some border crossing, where almost certainly Antoninus dealt with a rude person without getting
upset. It's interesting that we hear about this story involving travel and Antoninus,
because unlike other emperors, Antoninus did not travel much. He did this out of consideration,
knowing what an expense and ordeal it was for provincial officials to host the imperial processions.
We're also told of his consistency to his friends, never getting fed up with them or playing favorites,
his dogged determination to treat people as they deserved, his willingness to take care of himself,
his ability to feel at ease with people, and put them at their ease.
We don't know all that much about Antoninus, but what we know tells us a lot.
We can tell that his character was good.
We can tell that he had empathy.
We can tell that he cared about the little guy and the weak and the old.
would have been so easy for him to be heartless and cruel most emperors were.
But then again, if he had been, perhaps he never would have been chosen for the job in the first place.
Take Antoninus as your model always, Marcus Aurelius writes in book six of meditations,
and it's easy to understand why.
Because in the end, character isn't defined by grand gestures,
by the small moments when we think no one is watching.
It's our daily choices, our response.
to rudeness, our handling of power.
How we treat our friends, children, the elderly.
It's this that reveals the core of who we are.
Your actual needs are.
This is the September 29th entry in the Daily Stoot.
Nothing can sound.
satisfy greed, but even a small measure satisfies nature. So it is that the poverty of an exile
brings no misfortune, for no place of exile is so barren as to not produce ample support
for a person. This is Seneca in his consolation to his mother. It can be beneficial to reflect on
what you used to accept as normal. Consider your first paycheck and how big that seemed,
or your first apartment with its own bedroom and bathroom and the ramen you gladly scarfed down in the kitchen.
Today, as you become more successful, these conditions would hardly feel sufficient.
In fact, you probably want even more than what you have right now.
Yet just a few years ago, these paltry conditions were not only enough, they felt great.
When we become successful, we forget how strong we used to be.
We are so used to what we have.
We half believe that we die without it.
of course this is just the comfort talking in the days of world wars our grandparents and parents
made do with rationed gas butter and electricity they were fine just as you have been fine when you
had less remember today that you are okay if things suddenly go wrong your actual needs are
quite small there is very little that could happen that would truly threaten your survival
think about that and adjust your worries and fears accordingly there is a passage where i talk
talk about this in Discipline's Destiny, which let me grab real fast. I talk in part one about
avoiding the superfluous, right? And I tell the story of Cato, the elder, and he says,
nothing is cheap if it is superfluous. He's talking about cultivating a place where you don't
have more than you need and people can't take that from you, right? I say this in the chapter,
I say, think about how content you were with less just a few years ago, how much more fruit
you were by necessity how much less you got by on do you look back at those younger years when you
were striving and struggling as somehow lacking as something you're bitter about not usually those
were happy days we almost missed them things were simpler than cleaner there was more clarity
most of the luxuries that lay in the future we did not even know about we didn't pine for them
we were ignorant of even their possibility and when you realize this that the less you desire the
richer you are, the freer you are, the more powerful you are, you have something that can't
be taken away from you. So the Stoics want you to realize how little you need for the happy life.
To get personal for a second, I think about the job that I dropped out of college for. I've told
this story before, but I remember I was offered $30,000. That was my salary. And I remember
thinking, I may have even said it out loud. And I'm both mortified and fine and hilarious.
I remember thinking, what am I going to do with all this money?
That was so much money to me as it happens like two days after I started, they knocked my
salary down because the partner who'd hired me hadn't cleared it with the other partners
and I actually made more like 26 or something.
But it was more than enough for me.
I think about what I got paid for my first book.
It's all so much extra, so much more than I was once happy to have.
And that success should make you grateful, it shouldn't make you paranoid, right?
If you take it for granted, you're being ungrateful, I guess is what I'm saying.
And when you realize how little you need, it allows you to feel the true wealth that you have,
the true excess that you have, and realize how much fat, how much space is there.
You don't need to protect it so tightly.
It's house money at this point.
That's what the Stoics were trying to think.
but I even think about Seneca. Seneca's writing this letter to his mother. He's in exile,
but this is the second time this has happened to him. He realized, you know, that he couldn't
cling too tightly to any of these things. And I think that gave him a kind of strength.
It's what allowed him to comfort her in this difficult moment. So that's what we're talking about
here. We're not saying you starve yourself. We're not saying you experience nothing. You just
realize that it's extra and you don't need it all. Thanks, everyone.
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