The Daily Stoic - The Most Human Thing You Can Do | Ask Daily Stoic

Episode Date: November 18, 2022

Years before he became president, Harry Truman owned a haberdashery that doubled as a local hang-out. A kid named Albert Ridge would often head there after his shift at the neighborhood grocery store. For the rest of his life, Ridge would tell the story of the time Truman gave him a list of ten books to read. It included books like Plutarch's Lives, Caesar's Commentaries, and Benjamin Franklin's Autobiography.✉️ Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: https://dailystoic.com/dailyemailCheck out the Daily Stoic Store for Stoic inspired products, signed books, and more.📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stoic Podcast early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today. Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we read a passage of ancient wisdom designed to help you in your everyday life. But on Fridays, we not only read this daily meditation, but I try to answer some questions from listeners and fellow stoics who are trying to apply this philosophy, whatever it is they happen to do.

Sometimes these are from talks. Sometimes these are people who come up to talk to me on the street. Sometimes these are written in or emailed from listeners. But I hope in answering their questions, I can answer your questions, give a little more guidance on this philosophy. We're all trying to follow. [♪ Music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, fight off target, the new discounter that's both savvy and fashion forward. Listen to Business Wars on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. The most human thing you can do. For too long we've been led to believe that to show emotion is to show weakness. Suck it up we're told, stop being a crybaby.

You're stronger than that. No one wants to hear it. In his wonderful book, A Better Man, a mostly serious letter to my son, Michael Ian Black points out how persuasive this regressive admonition is in our culture, even infusing itself into modern tellings of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.

To hear it be told by many present-day preachers, Jesus picks up the cross, carries it alone, and while being tortured continues on with no sign of emotion, simply absorbing the pain and suffering of the world. But as Black points out on the cross, Jesus finally succumbs to his pain, calling out to his father, my out to his father, my God, my God, why have you forsaken me? In that raw, agonizing moment, he fully sheds his divinity and becomes one of us. Giving voice to suffering does not make you less of a man, black rights. It makes you more of a human. It's interesting that in one of the most famous stories about Marcus

really, he shows himself to be one of us. When his tutor died, Marcus cried uncontrollably. Antoninus, Marcus's stepfather understood this completely. Neither philosophy nor empire Antoninus famously said, takes away natural feeling. The same goes for you, no matter how much philosophy you've read, no matter how much older you've gotten or how important your position is or how many people are counting on you, it's okay to show emotion. It's okay to break down sometimes, it's okay to call out, it's okay to cry. It's more than okay. It's the most human thing you can do.

Welcome to another episode of Ask Daily Stoic. You send me, Ryan Holiday, your questions about stoicism, about the stoics about life. I try to answer. We put it on YouTube. We put it on the podcast. Thanks for listening. And if you want to send us some questions, you can send those in at infoatdailysteal.com. Our first question, how should I react or embrace a continuous problem?

For example, my roommate does not pick up around the house. This is not an issue that I could simply let go or embrace. I'm forcibly put into a situation I don't want to be in. Another example is that I'm working at a job. I don't want to work at this a situation I don't want to be in. Another example is that I'm working at a job I don't want to work at. This is a situation I don't want to be in. Quitting is a gamble in my future, even granting that it was my own ignorance that brought the situation, a bad job is not something you intend, but what do I do? So I think this is a good question.

So first off, this dox would go like, let's say there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. So you have to endure it. Is it really so bad? You have to endure some mess around the house. You know, Marcus really goes like, endure it. And it can't go on forever because you'll die or they'll die. And so there's kind of a glibness to that. But I think it's true. It's just a reminder that like, look, this is not cancer, right? And, but sometimes because we don't have other problems going on, we, or because we do have other problems going on, we fixate on these minor things, or we fixate on what other people are doing. So the second thing the Stokes would talk about would be that, right? What can you do around your house that might influence the situation, right? Instead of just hoping

your roommate will change their behavior instead of yelling at them to change their behavior instead of focusing on them, which you don't control, what do you control, right? And maybe it's having a conversation, maybe it's setting up systems, maybe it's cleaning up your stuff. Maybe if you really hate it, it's just cleaning up their stuff. Right? There's lots of options inside that. And then the third thing the Stokes would go is like, okay, if you really don't like this, if you're really unhappy with it, what are you willing to trade to get out of it, right? Can you move? Can you Sublet out your unit like just get out of it, right? Like if it's really making you as miserable as you feel like it's making you and Stokes would would say it's probably not but let's say it is can you get out of it?

I think about this with jobs like there's been plenty of jobs that I've had that I haven't liked So I say okay, I'm gonna leave this job. I'm going to do something else. In the meantime, though, let's say I can't leave until I save up enough money to do acts, or there's this project I have to finish. I go now that I know that there is an end date to this thing that's causing me discomfort or misery. What can I learn in the interim period? What can I do in the interim period? And I think this is a similar thing with your roommate. So you've got three months left on your lease. Okay, can you practice putting up with this

for three months? Can you practice being more direct if you're a non-convendational person with your roommate for the next three months? Can you practice being more organized and helpful? And what is the opportunity, if you cannot change the situation, if you simply have to put up with it,

what can you do in that peer, what can you do with that fact that makes you better that presents you an opportunity to improve? But all of this, I think, is under the larger umbrella, which is, they sound like some first-world problems. So not to belittle it, but they sound like some first-world problems. So not to belittle it, but they sound like some first-world problems.

So I'd keep that in perspective as well. All right, the next question, would you recommend a work of any modern philosopher who is stoic or influenced by stoicism? I absolutely can. It's a great question. And I happen to have this book in front of me because I was talking about it in an earlier question. This is Pierre Hado, he's a great question. And I happen to have this book in front of me because I was talking about it in an earlier question.

This is Pierre Hadoi. He's a French philosopher. He wrote a fantastic book about Marcus Aurelius, called the Inter Citadel, the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. There's another book. Get it? Philosophy as a way of life by Pierre Hadoi.

Also, very good, influenced sort of about stoicism, but not just about stoicism. Let me see what else I've got here. I don't have my copy, but Donald Robertson's book, How to Think Like a Roman Emperor, came out recently. Very good. He's a great thinker about stoicism, very thoughtful guy. A Launday baton has written some interesting interesting things sort of inspired by about stoicism.

We did an interview with Darren Brown. He's a British magician. But he's also written books on happiness that are largely influenced by stoicism. I think he's really great. We've got a bunch of resources on the Daily Stoke website. But I would say two other books if I was thinking philosophy that's influenced by stoicism.

Victor Frankl's book, Man Search for Meaning, Very Good, sort of driven by stoicism in a lot of ways. I don't think one other one that I I do that I think is really good. You know, I think Mark Manson, if I was going to really pop really sort of accessible recent modern, I think Mark Manson stuff, which is a little more Zen Buddhist than Stoic, but it's sort of consider him a fellow traveler is a great guy check out his books as well All right, next question. I have a small problem Reckon silent my atheism with my stoicism Can one be both? I'm sure the answer is yes, but I would love to hear it discussed

I mean look, I don't think you have to reconcile your atheism with stoicism. To me, stoicism is a philosophy and religion is separate. So there's this great quote from Flobar where he talks about how there was this moment in history between Cicero and Marcus Realis. He says, we're man stood alone in the universe. So Marcus Aurelius and Stoicism, or sorry, Marcus Aurelius and Christianity do not go well together actually. So it's the opposite of the reconciliation and the Christians probably have more work to do.

But Rousticus, who introduces Marcus Aurelius to Stoicism, persecutes and executes just and martyr, you know, Santa Cus brother is actually a adjudicates a case involving St. Paul. So for many, many years of Stoicism's sort of heyday in Rome, it was outwardly hostile to Christianity. And I'm writing about this a little bit

in my next books. You can stay tuned for that. But but Stoicism definitely believed that there was a God or God's but more in the Roman sense. So God's were these sort of rituals, these sort of official deities. It wasn't the same as deities, it wasn't the same as as the sort of Christianity sort of modern religious sense that we have now. There's a recent translation of an essay by Cicero that sort of focuses on stilicism and spirituality. It's by Princeton University Press, I think it's called How to Think About God or What to Think about God or something like that, but I might check that out. It's sort of an interesting dialogue. But I think there's plenty in stoicism that makes it compatible with religion. The idea of the logos or fate,

you know, the word and the way, both that's logos in Latin. That's there, but at the same time, like the Stoics are talking about, I think, a much more logical reason for doing the things that they do. So like, Jesus and Seneca are born in the same year. And whereas Jesus is saying, like, follow me, you know, like, obey the law of God, or you'll go to hell, or, you know, like, obey the law of God or you'll go to hell or, you know, like, you won't have an afterlife. I think what Seneca is saying at the very same time, the very same empire is like, don't be a bad person because you'll be unhappy, right?

It will make you miserable. So I think really the Stokes are saying a lot of similar things to the Christians, but they're saying them for very different reasons. And there were plenty of Christians, actually the interesting thing about Justin Martyr is that he studied a Stoke philosopher before he can under a Stoke philosopher before he converted to Christianity. So, I don't think there is unreconsisable as you think, but they are also quite easily reconciled. Christianity and Stoses and more atheism and stosism. I think primarily what the Stokes would tell you to do

is just focus on what is making you a better, more virtuous person, not what solves some metaphysical explanation of the universe. Focus on yourself, improvement, not these big abstract questions. explanation of the universe, focus on your self-improvement, not these big abstract questions. Anyways, that's what I try to do. So, thanks guys, I've spent another episode of Ask Daily Stoke. Keep asking questions, you can send an info at dailystoke.com, and I'll keep answering them. Thanks. Thanks so much for listening. If you could rate this podcast and leave a review on iTunes,

that would mean so much to us and it would really help the show. We appreciate it, and I'll see you next episode. Hey, Prime Members, you can listen to the Daily Stoic Early and Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and add free with Wondering Plus in Apple Podcasts. Hey there listeners! While we take a little break here, I want to tell you about another podcast that I think you'll like. plus in Apple podcasts. down with hundreds of founders behind well-known companies like Headspace, Manduka Yoga mats, Soul Cycle, and Kodopaxi, as well as entrepreneurs working to solve some of the biggest problems of our time, like developing technology that pulls energy from the ground to heat in cool

homes, or even figuring out how to make drinking water from air and sunlight. Together, they discuss their entire journey from day one, and all the skills they had to learn along the way, like confronting big challenges, and how to lead through uncertainty. So if you want to get inspired and learn how to think like an entrepreneur, check out how I built this, wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen early and add free on the Amazon or Wonder yet. And add free on the Amazon or Wonder yet.