The Daily Stoic - The Truly Wise Make Time For Leisure | Ask Daily Stoic

Episode Date: October 21, 2022

Leisure is one of those words that modernity has terribly corrupted and misused. When most people hear it we think of lounging around doing nothing. We think of any activity absent of activity, as an opportunity to completely shut down. And this is a tremendous perversion of a sacred notion.✉️ Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail🏛 Get Stoic inspired books, medallions, and prints to remember these lessons at the Daily Stoic Store: https://store.dailystoic.com/📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, and Facebook See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stoic Podcast early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today. Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we read a passage of ancient wisdom designed to help you in your everyday life. But on Fridays, we not only read this daily meditation, but I try to answer some questions from listeners and fellow stoics who are trying to apply this philosophy, whatever it is they happen to do. Sometimes these are from talks. Sometimes these are people who come up to talk to me on the street.

Sometimes these are written in or emailed from listeners. But I hope in answering their questions, I can answer your questions, give a little more guidance on this philosophy. We're all trying to follow. [♪ Music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wonderree's podcast business wars. And in our new season, Walmart must fight off target,

the new discounter that's both savvy and fashion forward. Listen to business wars on Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. Despite off target, the new discounter that's both savvy and fashion-forward. Listen to Business Wars on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Is it resilience, or are you just naive? We've talked before about the so-called Stockdale Paradox. The blazing determination inside future Admiral James Stockbale that allowed him to believe that despite his imprisonment in torture, he would not only survive but thrive because of his experience. There's something similar in meditations where Marcus Aurelius reflecting on the plague and the

wars and the troubles that beset his reign actually says to himself, it's fortunate that this happened to me. The Stoics always believed they could find a way, but it's important to understand where this is coming from, lest we confuse resilience with naivete or worse. In a recent episode of Remete Sete's wonderful podcast, I will teach you to be rich. One of the guests explained how his father, despite having to raise his kids in a trailer,

while making $30,000 a year, inspired his kids to believe that everything was going to be okay, that they'd get through it, that they would find a way. This is a wonderful and important lesson, except now as an adult working as a mortgage broker, the man seemed remarkably naive about the potential vulnerability of his industry to the turbulence of the economy. What if the market turns he was asked? I trust that my company will take care of me," he said.

Wasn't he concerned that he had so little in the way of savings or emergency funds? Now he said it'll all work out. My company will take care of me. The word for this attitude is not stoic. It's pan-glocian, a term derived from the novel Candide from Voltaire. Yes, a stoic believes they'll find a way through no matter what happens, but they're also realistic. They try not to depend on things outside their control.

When asked who fared worse in the North Vietnamese prison camp, Stockdale singled out one group, the optimists. They were convinced that the army was coming to get them, that the US government would ultimately protect them and bring them home. They were convinced it would happen by a certain date. They were convinced that everything would work out fine. They were convinced it would get resolved soon. We cannot be so naive or excessively optimistic. We cannot be dependent on others, like the Stisks we must never expect or hope that someone will come to save us,

because ultimately it's our expectations and our entitlements that crush us. Hey, it's Ryan Holiday. Welcome to another episode of Ask Daily Stillisk. You send in your questions about Stois's or Marcus really is about reading, writing, philosophy, ancient history, whatever it is.

We kick stuff around. You can send those questions to infoatdailystoic.com. More specific questions, the better. Steve wrote in and he said, how can I get my wife interested in Stoic's? Why do you want your wife to be interested in stoicism? I think the stoic quip would be like focusing herself, leave other people to their own development. Sometimes I think we can, sometimes I think we want, we project our own needs on other people.

There's a zen saying like, when the student is ready, the teacher appears, I think like, stoicism is not an evangelical religion, you're not supposed to convert people, it doesn't need to be this thing you force on other people, it's there for the people that want it, but it's there primarily for you to be interested in improving yourself.

So I could only think about how I got my wife into stoicism. I remember when we met, I think we met in 2007, I had actually just read Mark Serelias. I remember I bought it at borders, no I bought it on Amazon and I was reading it and I was talking to her about it and she was so interested from my conversation that she went to borders and bought a copy. Borders no longer in business, but we went through the copy a couple months ago and you can still see like this faded out receipt inside the book.

The point was she went and got it because she was interested in it, not because I forced it on her. I don't think this is something you can force on people. And even if you could, I don't think it would work. And my evidence for this is, Seneca, one of the greatest jokes ever, was assigned to teach stoicism to Nero. And it didn't work out well. We wrote this daily stoke email about a famous statue

of the two of them. You can kind of see the statue is like Seneca trying to teach stoicism to Nero, and he's just like, sort of sitting there, like this is Nero, and he won't pay attention. And to me, the lesson of that statue is like, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink.

And so when I think about how you might teach it to a wife or a friend or a kid, I think it all comes down to, the material is there, the wisdom is there, you model it, you can tell them about it, but you can't do anything more than that. And ultimately you want to focus on what you control, which is what is the philosophy doing for you. All right, Karen wrote in, she just graduated from college, she's heading out into the world.

What sort of advice would I have for someone getting started? And is there anything sort of the stoics specifically have to say about that? Well, I don't know. I think when I think about my path, obviously education was important. Obviously, you know, sort, luck and privilege was important. But the big movers in my career were people that I met,

that I talked to, that I developed relationships with, that ended up becoming mentors or advisors to me. What I would think about is in this sort of your fresh graduate, your young, you're just getting started. I'd think about like who's worked you admire, who has done what you are trying to do, and what advice could you reach out and ask of them. So like, the fact that you wrote into this thing is exactly the kind of thing that you use to kick start a thing. So a mentorship isn't this thing that magically happens,

but it's also not an official ordained thing. It's something that evolves. So when I think of my relationship with Robert Green, who taught me how to write, who gave me a lot of my big breaks, as a writer, it was like that started from random email exchanges and then they built from there and I took like a little job working for him and I did well and then a bigger job.

So like you don't magically get your dream job in many cases, you make that job. And so the willingness to start small, the willingness to sort of try things out and reach out without any sort of ulterior motives is I think really key to developing the network or the relationships That ultimately you know set up where you're trying to go and what you're trying to do So Ben Ben wrote that he's laid up with a broken leg. How does He sort of make use of this time, what sort of stuck, upset, sort of any thoughts on concern for recovering from something like that?

I'm just writing now in this book, Lives of the Stoics, there's a philosopher, Cratees of Malice, M-A-L-L-U-S, not Malice, although that would be a cool place to be from. He was in Rome on a diplomatic mission, and he falls in a sewer grate, and he breaks his leg.

I think he's from Rhodes or something. He's not from Rome, but he's in Rome, falls, breaks his leg, and he's laid up for several weeks. And it's being several months, and being laid up for several months is when he starts giving discourses on stoic philosophy. The philosophy is sort of so relevant and new in Rome that it's a sensation.

These pamphlets, this may well be the introduction of stoicism to Rome. It had been popular in Athens and in Greece, but it had not made its way all the way to Rome. It had been popular in Athens and in Greece, but it had not made its way all the way to Rome. And so it may well be that Stoicism's first introduction to the Roman Empire, which the philosophy had sort of incorporated it into the DNA of the Empire that changes the course of the world. And history comes from the exact scenario you're in. So I think one of the things that still looks would think about is like, sure, it sucks you broke your leg. It probably hurts really bad. I'm sorry that this happened to you,

but they'd say like, what good can come of this? How can you use it? And I remember, in 2011, I quit my job in American Apparel. I moved across the country. I was all set to start writing this first, my first book. I wanted to write a book on media. And I was writing my bike to the gym in New Orleans and the tire got stuck in the street car track and I went over the handlebars and I

landed on my left elbow and I fractured a bone in my elbow and so it was in a sling for something like six weeks I couldn't exercise I couldn't swim and I had to type with one hand. And I was going out of my mind, but I used that time. I went on these long walks because that's how I got my exercise. That's how I got outside. I couldn't do as much writing. I had to do a more reading and I had to do more research. And I don't think that book would end, would have ended up being the book that it was if it wasn't for that experience.

I wanted to rush right into it, I wanted to get it all done, but it forced me to take it slow. It reminded me of, you know, it just, it made me overall a better writer and a better person. I am almost certain that you will look back on this injury as being sort of less painful and more meaningful than it feels to you now, but the question would be like, what can you get out of this experience? What can you learn? What can you do?

Who can you reconnect with? There's a study that I talk about in the obstacles the way they did the study on Canadian athletes about how sort of potential career ending injuries often were the fodder for what they call post-traumatic growth. Even if it didn't make them better, the rehabbing process didn't emerge stronger from it. They appreciated the game more, or they appreciated their teammates more, or they understood the

power of leadership more, or made them more patient, or made them more grateful. This injury can do that for you if you choose to let it, but that ultimately is up to you. So that's what I think. I'm sorry, I hope you feel better soon. Great question though. Appreciate everyone who wrote in. Talk to you next week.

This was awesome. You can send your questions at infoatdailystoic.com. Follow us at DailyStoke. Pretty much everywhere. Subscribe below on YouTube. Leave a comment if you want. And of course, as always, I hope you get the Daily Stoke pretty much everywhere, subscribe below on YouTube, leave a comment if you want, and of course as always I hope you get the Daily Stoke email, you can check out at DailyStoke.com. Thanks. Thanks so much for listening. If you could rate this podcast and leave a review on iTunes,

that would mean so much to us and it would really help the show. We appreciate it, and I'll see you next episode. Hey, prime members. You can listen to the Daily Stoic early and ad free on Amazon music. Download the Amazon music app today, or you can listen early and ad free with Wondery Plus in Apple podcasts. Celebrity feuds are high stakes. You never know if you're just gonna end up on Page Six or Du Moir or in court. I'm Matt Bellissi. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Diss and Tell, where each episode we unpack a different iconic celebrity feud from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us?

The first season is packed with some pretty messy pop culture drama, but none is drawn out in personal as Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears. When Britney's fans formed the free Britney movement dedicated to fraying her from the infamous conservatorship, Jamie Lynn's lack of public support, it angered some fans, a lot of them. It's a story of two young women who had their choices taken away from them by their controlling parents, but took their anger out on each other. And it's about a movement to save a superstar, which set its sights upon anyone who failed to fight for Brittany.

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