The Daily Stoic - These Legacies Are a Gift | Ask Daily Stoic

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we bring you a stoic-inspired meditation designed to help you find strength and insight and wisdom into everyday life. Each one of these episodes is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women help you learn from them. to follow in their example, and to start your day off with a little dose of courage and discipline and justice and wisdom. For more, visitdailystoic.com. was born. He came of age under the Roman Empire and spread a message of kindness and mercy and doing one's duty. He taught millions how to live and how to die over the course of his life and

Starting point is 00:01:11 his legacy, how to better themselves and treat their neighbors too. But eventually this wisdom grew controversial, a threat to the state, and his death came at the hands of the centurions they sent for him. And yet even during the very public agony and humiliation of his death, he asked his loved ones and followers to stay strong, to forgive the excesses of an emperor who did not know what he was doing. In those brave final moments, he immortalized himself forever. This is the story of Jesus, who people all over the world celebrate today on Christmas. But just as well, this is the story of Seneca. Remarkably, Seneca and Jesus lived nearly parallel lives.

Starting point is 00:01:53 Not only that, but they were born, according to many sources, in the same. year. No one can confirm for certain the exact birthday for either, but it is indisputable that two of history's greatest philosophers walked the earth at the same time. More incredible is just how much their teachings overlap, and it's worth taking some time on this Christmas morning to consider those similarities. Thou shall love thy neighbor as thyself, that's Jesus. Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness. That's Seneca. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, then turn to him the other also. That's Jesus. It is a petty and sorry person who will bite back when he is bitten. That's Seneca. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and

Starting point is 00:02:37 trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance, and endurance develops strength of character. That's Jesus. Constant misfortune brings this one blessing to whom it always assails it eventually fortifies. That's Seneca. And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye. That's Jesus. You look at the pimples of others when you yourself are covered with a mass of sores. That's Seneca. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. That's Jesus. Two elements must therefore be rooted out once and for all, the fear of future suffering and the recollection of past suffering, since the latter no longer concerns me and the former concerns

Starting point is 00:03:25 me not yet. That's Seneca. Ultimately, both these men lived on far beyond their deaths. According to Scripture, Jesus, he would rise from the dead after three days. And Seneca, through his writings, feels as alive to us as he would have to many Romans. So on this Christmas day, we can simply marvel at this near miracle, that two wise men were alive at the same time and through their sufferings and teachings, a great legacy has been passed down to us. Which one of them we choose to rely on most heavily is an individual decision, but that we should do something with their teachings. That's a gift we would all be wise to receive this Christmas. Anyways, Merry Christmas, everyone. I love putting this together these Christmas messages every year. It's been my

Starting point is 00:04:11 privilege and honor to do this now every Christmas since 2016. Thank you for subscribing. Thank you for giving me the opportunity, giving me the platform, for making me better by allowing me to write this to you. I hope to see you all in the Daily Stoic New Year, New Year Challenge, which is going to start in just a few days. You can join there at dailystoic.com slash challenge, and now I'm going to go be with my family, and I hope you do the same. Human. Your body has a performance superhighway, 60,000 miles of blood vessels that deliver oxygen and nutrients to every cell. This, of course, is your cardiovascular system.

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Starting point is 00:06:19 And then it has quickly become a Thanksgiving and then a Christmas street. Everyone's vying to outdo each other with their decorations. And I'll admit it sneaks up on us, especially as the competition gets more and more. The holidays are here. And if you're looking for holiday decor or last minute refreshes around the house, get what you need fast with wayfair. That's where we got a bunch of our Christmas decorations and a bunch of essentials because we have some of my wife's family visiting us for the holidays,

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Starting point is 00:07:13 holidays for way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com, Wayfair, every style, every home. Hey, it's Ryan. Welcome to another episode of the Daily Stoke podcast. Yesterday was a very crazy day for me. I don't know when you're listening to this, but I'm telling you when I'm recording it.

Starting point is 00:07:37 So I flew to Seattle, I guess the night before, woke up, went for a long run, I did about eight miles around Lake Washington there in Seattle. And then I had breakfast and did some research for the book that I'm working on. As I'm getting ready to go do this talk, I see they've got this sauna, like a floating sauna there on the lake. And I've done something like this before in Finland where you would go in the sauna and then you'd jump in a hole through the ice into the ocean, back and forth, back and forth. And it was funny because I was going to talk about cold plunges in my talk later that night that I was doing in Seattle.

Starting point is 00:08:13 So I was like, I didn't want to do it. I was putting it off. And I was trying to make excuses. And I said, you know what? This is going to be awesome. I'm going to do it. So I paid to go in the sauna. It was like $30.

Starting point is 00:08:22 Got in the sauna. Jumped in the lake. Got in the sauna. Jumped in the lake. And then I went and did a talk for the folks at Xbox there at the hotel. I was very excited about it. Not as excited as my nine-year-old who was finally impressed about one of the audiences I was talking to. Did that talk for about an hour and a half.

Starting point is 00:08:40 Then I went back to my room, took a little nap. And then headed down to Seattle Town Hall, where I did a talk to many of you, lovely people. Maybe you were there. You probably don't need to listen to this episode, if you were. I did a talk there about how to make 2026 your best year yet. Sort of thinking about some of the themes that we're putting into the Daily Stoic New Year, New You Challenge, which, by the way, you can sign up for right now at dailystoic.com slash challenge. I'm pumped and excited to do that.

Starting point is 00:09:10 thousands of Stoics all over the world are going to be doing it together. I hope you are one of them. But anyways, I did the talk, and then I got to answer some questions, which is what I love to do. And that's what I am bringing you for today's Q&A. If you want to come to one of my talks

Starting point is 00:09:25 and ask me some questions, I'm going to be in San Diego and Phoenix as part of the same tour. You can grab tickets for that at Daily StoicLive.com. San Diego is February 5th. Phoenix is February 27th. Thanks to the folks at Xbox for having me out,

Starting point is 00:09:39 And thanks to the folks in Seattle, who came out to the talk. It was a beautiful venue. It was like an old church that had these stained glass windows, people sat in pews. Just a lovely thing. So I'll bring you some questions from that. And I hope to see you at one of the talks, daily soaklive.com. And then most of all, I hope to see you in the Daily Stoic New Year, New Year Challenge. We're going to be starting January 1st.

Starting point is 00:10:01 Let's kick the year off right with some stoic-inspired challenges. Dailystoic.com slash challenge. I'll see you in there. My question is, I think a lot of people my age, millennials, they deal with, you know, anxiety, right? And so, you know, we know about mental more, your remembrance of death, that best from deathbed remorse and, you know, morphity level of fate, right? So it's like letting the things you can't control, but also thinking about death, bed remorse, and thinking of what am I going to think of later? You're saying that thinking about your own death doesn't do anything for your anxiety? Exactly.

Starting point is 00:10:40 No, I get it. I totally get it. Anxiety is something that I struggle with. I think we all do. One of the things that the Stokes teaches about anxiety that I try to remember is that the things aren't causing my anxiety, right? The airport doesn't give me anxiety. Public speaking doesn't give me anxiety. Political events aren't why I'm nervous and frustrated and worrying, right?

Starting point is 00:11:05 Those things are objective. They are outside me. I am the source of the anxiety, right? The one thing that all the things that I am anxious about have in common is what? It's me, it's you, right? We're the common variable. And so this is why in a famous passage in meditations, Marks Reelis goes, I'm not going to escape my anxiety.

Starting point is 00:11:28 I have to discard it. I have to realize that I am complicit and involved in it. And that I have the ability to choose. Now, obviously, look, there's extreme. cases that require medication and serious medical interventions. I'm not talking about that. It's just understanding that, hey, this thing is not to blame. It's my opinion, my feelings, my expectations about it that are causing me the anxiety. And that's one of the ways that I can deal with my low-level anxiety in that capacity. Thank you. Thank you very much. My question.

Starting point is 00:12:01 Thank you so much for introducing me to Stoist's many years ago. I'm really thankful. And my question is, what do you hate or dislike about stoicism? What would you like to change in stoicism? Sure. I mean, look, I don't like people who misuse or misappropriate stoicism to, like, to be an asshole, right? Like, the idea that, like, okay, I don't control your feelings. That's why I'm going to say mean things or I'm going to be disrespectful or whatever, right? Like, I think there is this idea that stoicism is indifferent or, you know, insensitive on purpose because those things don't matter.

Starting point is 00:12:46 Like, to me, what stoicism is saying, hey, I'm not going to be easily offended, but I understand that a lot of people are offended. And so I do try to be conscientious and kind and considerate. And I think there's there is a contingent of people who are trying to misappropriate and misuse stoicism to, as I said, to justify being a jerk, right? And that's to me not what it's about at all. The central stoic virtue is justice and ethics, right? Kindness, compassion, how our actions impact other people. That really matters. Erin, thanks for being here. Yeah. Could you talk a little bit more with a stoic lens of how do we thread the line between, especially with news and what's going on politically,

Starting point is 00:13:35 the difference between being disengaged and being unbothered, because I feel like we can unplug, but that's irresponsible in some ways. Yeah. Yeah. So to me, like, what's happening is not okay. What happening, what's happening requires people being involved, people being engaged, people, you know, putting their ass on the line is going to require courage and discipline and all these stoic virtues, I guess the problem is we have confused reading about what's happening and being outraged about what's happening and sharing things on social media about what's happening with doing anything about what's happening, right? And that's really the problem. And so to me, I think, like, let's start small. Let's start where we have impact. Let's get involved. Let's just not

Starting point is 00:14:26 confused being up on all the issues with making a difference for really anyone. Like we already know what's happening is not okay. Like we already know why it's happening. Hearing more about it is not critical at this point, right? And this isn't true for everyone. Some people are journalists. Some people are in government. Some people do need, have different media debts. But for most of us, like these are basic bedrock social contract things, constitutional things even. Part of the, I believe Steve Bannon said that the Trump strategy is muscle velocity, right? The idea is to throw so much stuff at people so fast that they can't even keep up with it, let alone pick what they're going to take a stand about and do something about. And I think understanding that and then adjusting is like the first

Starting point is 00:15:23 step in sort of beating some of this stuff back. Curious how you manage relationships, family relationships, or lifelong friendships, where their viewpoints are just so fundamentally different from yours, but you care about them so much. Yeah, it's challenging. Of course. I try to, I just, I guess I just try to think, like,

Starting point is 00:15:50 this person believe things that are bad, or are they doing things that are bad? And that's maybe where I would draw the line, right? So if we can have an intellectual discussion about it, if we can disagree, and of course, there's a broad spectrum of, you know, I think reasonable things that people can disagree with or disagree about. That's not what we're talking about. But I think we start to draw the line when someone is sort of actively, harming others, again, not just with their opinions, but with the actions that they're

Starting point is 00:16:26 taking. But for the most part, you know, there's maybe a don't ask, don't tell policy that's helpful these days. Your practice of Stoicism seems to involve lots of facing hard things or doing things that scare you. Is there something in the coming year that you're looking to face? Yeah. Okay. So my big goal for 2026 is I'm going to declare email bankruptcy. and I'm going to mark all the emails in my inbox as read, and I'm going to start over. Now, I know this doesn't seem hard. I ran a marathon last year, and that was my challenge. But this is clearly hard because multiple years in a row, I have said I was going to do this.

Starting point is 00:17:08 And multiple points in 2025, I said I was going to do this. I was going to do it. We had a long car ride. I was like, you know what? I'm going to get my laptop up. And I'm just going to press this button, and it's going to start fresh. And then I just didn't do it. I don't know what I think is in there.

Starting point is 00:17:23 And clearly it's not that important because I haven't looked at it in all this time, but that's one of them. So, Ryan, I got a question for you, relation to your book, The Obstacle is the Way. So you talk about not dwelling on certain things in the past, especially events. But there are situations that repeat, like situations where you fall into, and you could have learned from it from before. I guess the question to you is, how can you not look at the meaning? how can you not look at things and dwell onto things

Starting point is 00:17:52 because you need to learn from them. Sure. So when do you stop learning and how often do you need to repeat something until you get the right learning? And then at the end of the day, what is the definition of the right learning anyway? Well, that's the whole thing right there.

Starting point is 00:18:05 Yeah, look, I guess if it's a pattern that is repeating, it's not really in the past. I guess sometimes we dwell on mistakes that we have made or things that we wish we hadn't done. Sometimes I'll be on one of my wife, box, as I'm saying, and I'll just be, like, violently assaulted by a thought of something dumb, I said a really long time ago. And, you know, what good is kicking myself about? I can't unsay it. I can't unthink it. Sure, I think going, well, why did it happen and what did it mean

Starting point is 00:18:37 and what am I going to do differently? That's fine. The problem is when we ruminate and when we get stuck, and then when we try to spend energy making something unhappen, as opposed to making sure it doesn't happen again, or just making amends for the fact that it did happen, right? That's what I think it's about. So I just try to ask myself, you know, can I influence this? Can I change it? And if not, then I've got to accept it and move on. Hey, it's Ryan. Thank you for listening to the Daily Stoic podcast. I just wanted to say we so appreciate it. We love serving you. It's amazing to us that over 30 million people have downloaded these episodes in the couple of years we've been doing it.

Starting point is 00:19:26 It's an honor. Please spread the word, tell people about it, and this isn't to sell anything. I just wanted to say thank you. Hey, it's Ryan. I try not to make too many puns on my last name because I've been hearing it my whole life. But if you want to give a holiday gift of me, Ryan Holiday, and the Daily Stoic, well, you can. We have a special offer. If you want to give Daily Stoic premium as a gift, you can do that. Your friends, your family members, coworkers, whoever you give it to can get ad-free episodes, early access. and exclusive bonus content. Plus, we'll even throw in premium episodes

Starting point is 00:20:14 of the Daily Dad Podcast. You can get both premium plans together for 25% off. It's a limited offer available now through the end of the holidays. That's through December 31st. You can click below to get it for them today. Happy holidays.

The Daily Stoic - These Legacies Are a Gift | Ask Daily Stoic

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