The Daily Stoic - This Is A Most Dangerous Attitude | Don’t Hide From Your Feelings

Episode Date: December 8, 2023

It’s hard to keep a Stoic down or hold them back. They push through. They see obstacles as opportunities. They are not deterred by difficulties or criticism or friction. Like the old motto of the Royal Air Force, the Stoics believed that perseverance and determination were key. Per ardua ad astra–it reads–Through adversity to the stars.This way of thinking makes someone a winner, it makes them a great leader. It can also make them dangerous. To themselves and others.The author SC Gwynne, recently discussed this on the Daily Stoic podcast (a must listen/watch episode) as well as in his fascinating new book His Majesty’s Airship. He explained how when it came to experimental aircraft, the attitude of “press on regardless,” was courageous, it was also responsible for countless crashes…and countless deaths.-And with today's meditation on the day's Daily Journal excerpt, Ryan reminds us that processing our feelings and pushing forward, sitting with our pain and accepting the grief, and finding help if and when needed helps us conquer. ✉️ Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail🏛 Check out the Daily Stoic Store for Stoic inspired products, signed books, and more.📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I told this story before, but the first Airbnb I stayed in was 15 years ago. I was looking for places to live when I wanted to be a writer and we stayed at this house, I think outside Phoenix. And then when I bought my first house here in Austin, I would rent it out when South by Southwest or F-1 or all these events. My wife and I would go out of town and we'd rent it and it helped pay for the mortgage and it supported me while I was a writer. You've probably had the same experience.

You stayed in an Airbnb and thought, this is doable. Maybe I could rent my place on Airbnb. And it's really that simple. You can start with a spare room or you can rent your whole place when you're away. You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. Maybe you set up a home office during the pandemic

and now you don't need it because you're back at work. Maybe you're traveling to see friends and family for the holidays. While your way, your home could be an Airbnb. Whether you could use extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun, your home could be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca-host. Hey Canada, ever wish that managing your money could be a whole lot easier and way less stressful? That's why Coho is created. The financial app that's going to revolutionize

the way you handle your hard-earned cash and help you save even more. Coho is a company rooted in the belief that better financial solutions for all Canadians exist. Get cash back when you spend, multiply your money by earning interest and build your credit history. No hidden fees, no fine print, and no catch, just an app that's made for your money. Join over 1 million Canadians and sign up for your free trial now. Download the Coho app on Google or the app store today and visit koh.ca. That's coho.ca for more details. Daily Stoic listeners, you can get 20 bucks off when you make your first purchase of

$20 or more using the code DailyStoic20. Again, sign up for your free trial by downloading the Coho app and receive 20 bucks off when you make your first purchase of $20 or more using the code DailyStoic20. Welcome to the DailyStoic Podcasts. On Friday, we do double-duty not just reading our daily meditation, but also reading a passage from the Daily Stoic. My book, 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance in the Heart of Living, which I wrote with my wonderful collaborator, translator, and literary agent, Stephen Hanselman. So today, we'll give you a quick meditation from the Stoics with some analysis from me, and then we'll send you out into the world to

turn these words into works. This is a most dangerous attitude. It's hard to keep a stoic down or hold them back. They push through. They see obstacles as opportunities. they are not deterred by difficulties or criticism or friction. Like the old motto of the Royal Air Force, the stoics believed that perseverance and determination were key. Per Ardua ad Astra goes the motto through adversity to the stars. This way of thinking makes someone a winner, It makes them a great leader. It can also make them dangerous to themselves and others. The author, S. C. Gwynn, who was recently on the

Daily Stoke Podcast, he talked about this on the show and in his fascinating new book, His Majesty's Airship. He explained how when it came to experimental aircraft, the attitude of press on regardless was courageous, but it was also responsible for countless crashes and countless deaths. And this is true in life. Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor. Sometimes it takes more courage to ask not if one could push through a problem, but if one should push through a problem. Sometimes we need to take difficulties as feedback or a warning. Sometimes we need to slow down

or turn around. Sometimes we need to consider the crew flying with us or the larger mission, not just completing the task in front of us. We need to discipline not just to charge ahead, but to discipline to stop the discipline to plan the discipline to live to fight another day in better weather conditions after the repairs have been made after everything has been checked out Don't hide from your feelings. This is today's entry in the daily hide from your feelings. This is today's entry in the daily stow it. And our quote today is from Seneca in his essay to Helvia, his mother. It's better to conquer grief, he says, than to deceive it. We've all lost people. We're close to a friend, a colleague, a parent, a grandparent. And while we were suffering from our grief, some well-meaning person did their best to take our mind off of it or make us think about something else for a couple hours. However kind these gestures are misguided.

The Stoics are stereotyped as suppressing their emotions, but their philosophy was actually intended to teach us to face, to process and deal with emotions immediately instead of running from them. Tempting as it is to deceive yourself or hide from a powerful emotion like grief, by telling yourself and other people that you're fine, awareness and understanding are better. Distraction might be pleasant in the short term by going to the gladiatorial games as a Roman might have done, but focusing is better in the long term. That means facing it now. Process and parse what you are feeling,

remove your expectations, your entitlements, your sense of having been wrong, find the positive in the situation, but also sit with your pain and accept it. Remembering that it is a part of life, and that is how we conquer grief. I had Kate Boehler on the podcast last year or year before. I know it's been twice, but she has this book, she has this book called Everything Happens for Reason and other lies I've been told, and the point she finds out she has cancer and all these people come and go, oh, it happened for reason. Everything happens for a reason, and her response was, I'd love to know the reason, right? She was rejecting these sort of platitudes that we give people when they are grieving to try to take their mind off it, we distract them, we want to make them laugh, we say, oh, I've been through

that too. There's no way out, but through feeling, thinking, dealing with, you know, the Stoics, But through feeling, thinking, dealing with, the Stoics, the Stoics knew grief, as Sennaka was writing that essay to his mother, he was grieving himself, he'd lost a child. As I've been going back through meditations, we have this leather bound addition and I rereading it like a fresh copy. And for whatever reason I was just skipping through

and I found all the different instances where Marcus was talking about, like, loss and children, which is extra haunting when you think about how many he lost, five, six, we don't know exactly, but almost more of his children did not survive to adulthood than did. He buried five, six children, just the magnitude of that grief.

And if we take meditations, then as a much more personal book, a book of a man working through his grief, trying to conquer it, not to see it, it's both very humanizing and haunting at the same time. Marcus isn't different than you and I, he's not this magical robot, but he was someone who put in the work to deal with, to think through, to talk about his emotions. I just, I hate this stereotype of the Stoics

as being unfeeling. They were feeling, they just tried not to be overwhelmed, overcome paralyzed by those feelings. And part of the way they did it was by working on them. So, you know, this month in the Daily Stoke is about death and grief and mortality. And I think it's important for those of you who are grieving, for those of us who are grieving who have lost someone

or may lose someone, you know, it's okay to cry about that. There's a story about Marcus crying about the loss of one of his tutors. That's a human thing. If you're still crying about a paralyzed diet a year later, you should probably get some help. You're probably torturing yourself. You're probably doing something with Bay,

the person you are born and would not dream of wanting or cursing you with. So you've got to deal with it, you've got to face it, you've got to process it, that's the only way out. There is no way out but through that's today's message from the Daily Stoic. And I hope you guys are getting ready for the holidays. I hope you're thinking about your New Year's resolutions.

Got the Daily Stoic New Year, New Year Challenge coming up here very, very soon. So stay tuned for that. And happy holidays, we'll talk soon. Thanks so much for listening. If you could rate this podcast and leave a review on iTunes, that would mean so much to us and it would really help the show. We appreciate it, and I'll see you next episode. BELL RINGS

Hey, Prime Members. You can listen to the Daily Stoke, early and ad-free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music App today, or you can listen early and ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Hi, it's me, the Grand Poova of Bahambad, the OG Green Grump, the Grinch. From Wondery, Tis the Grinch Holiday Talk Show is a pathetic attempt by the people of Ruvil to use my situation as a teachable moment. So, join me, the Grinch, along with Cindy Lohoo.

Hello, everyone. And of course, my dog Max, along with Cindy Luhu, and of course my dog Max every week for this complete waste of time. Listen as I launch a campaign against Christmas cheer, grilling celebrity guests, like chestnuts on an open fire. Now try to get my heart to grow a few sizes, but it's not gonna work, honey. Your family will love the show. As you know, I'm famously great with kids. Follow Tiz the Grinch Holiday Talk Show on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Tiz the Grinch Holiday Talk Show early

and add free right now by joining Wondery Plus. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUT [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC you