The Daily Stoic - This Will Define Your Legacy | Forgive Them Because They Don't Know
Episode Date: July 17, 2026Discipline, as a virtue, is related to the other virtues. By controlling our urges or wants or lifestyle, we’re actually in a better position to be courageous or just.📚 Discipline is Des...tiny by Ryan Holiday🎟️ DAILY STOIC LIVE | Ryan Holiday is coming to a city near you! Grab tickets here | https://www.dailystoiclive.com/🎙️ AD-FREE | Support the podcast and go deeper into Stoicism by subscribing to The Daily Stoic Premium - unlock ad-free listening, early access, and bonus content: https://dailystoic.supercast.com/🎥 VIDEO EPISODES| Watch the video episodes on The Daily Stoic YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@DailyStoic/videos✉️ FREE STOIC WISDOM | Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemailSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, designed to help bring those four key stoic virtues, courage, discipline, justice, and wisdom into the real world.
This will define your legacy. It doesn't seem like a moral question. It seems more like a personal choice, how you spend your money.
Whether you save or invest or spend or enjoy, how you spend your time, whether you fritter it away or you spend it on pursuits and people most important to you, whether you are,
Stoic or Epicurean.
But discipline, temperance, the Stoics believed, was a virtue for a reason.
We've been talking about the founding fathers a lot here for the 250th anniversary of America.
And you can see as you contrast the founders just how important this virtue is.
Both Thomas Jefferson and George Washington profited from slavery.
And both knew it was wrong.
Yet, at the end of their lives, it was Washington who freed his slaves, not Jefferson,
even though Jefferson had written far more eloquently about human equality, as well as the eternal
shame of slavery. Why is this? Well, it's partly because Washington far more disciplined and
Stoec could afford to mannumet his slaves. Early on, he hadn't been able to afford to run out Vernon
without them, but he was secure enough at the end of his life to do what he obviously should have done,
what his conscience knew he should have done years earlier. Jefferson, the Epicurean, was more than
$100,000 in debt when he died. He had ransacked Europe for antiques and finery. He had expanded
his estate multiple times, sparing no expense. He left wine and the best foods. And so he couldn't
remotely afford redemption. He was scared of leaving nothing to his children. He could not afford
to do the right thing. Discipline as a virtue then is related to the other virtues by
controlling our urges, our wants, our lifestyle. We're actually in a better position to be courageous
and just, financial independence. These things free us up in ways that other more irresponsible
and conflicted people cannot be. And we see this clearly with the range of stoic responses in the reign
of Nero. The more austere and disciplined Stoics, Agrippinus and Thrasia, did far better than the
high-living Seneca. I tell the story in lives of the Stoics. But a better example was found in
John Adams, who, like the other founders, had read all the Stoics, but he lived a far more frugal
and laborious life than either the manor-born Jefferson or Washington did. His self-discipline
intersected with his ethics. He made an honest living as a lawyer, as a diplomat, and finally, as
an elected official. He never owned another human being. He never exploited anyone. He didn't crave
fancy things or grand houses. And when he died, on the same day as Jefferson, his estate was the
exact inverse of his old friends, a hundred thousand dollar request to his family.
In short, discipline makes you better in life and in death.
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very. Forgive them because they don't know. This is Marcus Aurelius' Meditations 7.6. He says,
as Plato said, every soul is deprived of truth against its will. The same holds true for justice,
self-control, goodwill to others and every similar virtue. It's essential to constantly keep this
in your mind, for it will make you more gentle to all. And I tell a biblical story here. I think it's
interesting to think that, you know, Seneca and Jesus are born roughly the same time, both
live in the same empire. Both come from provinces of the Roman Empire. Both were enormously popular
philosophers in their own life, and both are ultimately put to death. You can read Tacitus and hear of
the death of Jesus, and you can also read Tacitus and hear of the death of Seneca. As he wound
his way up the Via de La Rosa on the top of Calvary Hill, Jesus, or Christus, as he would have been
known to Seneca and other Roman contemporaries, he had suffered immensely. He had been beaten and flogged
and stabbed, forced to bear his own cross, and was set to be crucified on it next to two common
criminals. There he watched the soldiers roll dice to see who would get to keep his clothes,
listened as the people sneered and taunted him. Whatever your religious inclinations,
the words that Jesus spoke next, considering they came as he was subjected to unimaginable human
suffering, send chills down your spine. Jesus looked upward and said, simply, Father, Father,
forgive them, for they know not what they do.
This is the same truth that Plato spoke centuries earlier, that Marcus spoke almost two centuries
after Jesus. Other Christians must have spoken this truth as they were cruelly executed by the Romans
under Marcus's reign. Forgive them. They are deprived of truth. They wouldn't do this if they weren't.
Use this knowledge to be gentle and gracious. I think that's something that Marcus realizes. He goes,
hey, not everyone has the privilege and wealth and power that I have, but also they haven't been
availed of Stoic philosophy.
I mean, let's go to the opening passage in book two of meditations, right?
The famous one that's supposedly Marcus writing people off for being annoying and obnoxious
and awful, right?
What does Marcus say?
He lists all the frustrating things they're going to do.
And he says, why are they like this?
They are like this because they can't tell good from evil.
He says, but I've seen the beauty of good and the ugliness of evil and have recognized that
the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own.
not of the same blood or birth but of the same mind, possessing a share of the divine.
So none of them can hurt me.
He says, no one can implicate me in ugliness, nor can I feel angry at my relative or hate him.
We were born to work together like feet and hands and eyes, like two rows of teeth, upper and lower.
To obstruct each other is unnatural, to feel anger at someone to turn your back on him.
These are obstructions.
He's saying forgive them.
He's saying understand them.
He even talks about forgiveness in meditations where he says like,
Remember when you have acted like that.
And then, of course, there is a whole chapter in part three of Right Thing Right Now, which I hope you have read.
On page 275, I tell a story about forgiveness because it's such an important biblical concept and an important stoic concept and an important virtuous concept.
I tell the story of James Lawson, who meets and tries to forgive Martin Luther King Jr's assassin, James Earl.
Ray. And he gets asked by Ray to minister to him. He asked him eventually to officiate his wedding.
And Lawson is asking his family at dinner if he should do this. And as I write, it says,
it was a short conversation. Almost before he could finish, Lawson's 17-year-old son was answering.
Well, his son said, not even needing to look up from his food. If you believe all this stuff,
you've been preaching all these years, he'll do it. And I say, it's important to note that
Jesus didn't just preach forgiveness on that one occasion on the cross. Before his death, he was asked
about forgiveness by Peter. Knowing that forgiveness was important, Peter asked just how many times
he should forgive his brother. Was it one time for one mistake? Should he forgive him seven times?
I do not say to you up to seven times, Jesus replied, but up to 77 times. And in fact,
according to some translations, Jesus actually said 70 times seven. But even this understates it because
the whole basis of Christianity is that because God has forgiven each person totally and completely,
a Christian must in turn do the same. And then I say, whatever your spirituality, the same bargain
stands, someone kind, someone generous, someone we didn't even know is forgiven us at least once.
In fact, life has given you countless second chances, chance after chance after chance.
Justice would have cut you off a long time ago. But here you are. We carry that debt now,
and so we must forgive others. Better yet, we have the power to enrich ourselves in the world by act
invest in this forgiveness wherever possible, wherever we have the opportunity to provide grace to
someone who has trespassed against us. I go on. There's another great story of Marcus and forgiveness.
The point is, let's practice a little forgiveness today. Let's give some grace, not expect it,
but give it. That's today's lesson. I hope all of you are well. Talk soon.
