The Daily Stoic - What Would You Do Less Of? | What Expensive Things Cost
Episode Date: March 7, 2022Ryan explains why the practice of Memento Mori is so important, and reads this week’s meditation from The Daily Stoic Journal.Get a Memento Mori medallionin the Daily Stoic Store.Sign up fo...r the Daily Stoic email: https://DailyStoic.com/emailFollow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, and FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stoke podcast early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today.
Welcome to the Daily Stoke podcast. Each day we bring you a meditation inspired by the ancient Stokes illustrated with stories from history,
current events and literature to help you be better at what you do. And at the beginning of the week,
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What would you do less of?
We spend so much time on stuff that doesn't matter that we don't even like.
Maybe it's a job or a commute to that job.
Maybe it's doom scrolling on our phone or answering emails.
Maybe it's arguing with the spouse.
Maybe it's arguing with strangers on the internet.
You know the kind of stuff that you just kind of get sucked into.
You hate it, but you let it fill up so much of your life.
Marcus Aurelis frustrated with some obnoxious thing that was consuming his days once asked himself,
you're afraid of death because you won't be able to do this
anymore.
And that's the thing about memento Mori.
It's clarifying.
If you had unlimited time,
maybe you wouldn't mind spending two hours a day in traffic.
Maybe you wouldn't need to steer clear of the cesspool of Twitter or the endlessness
of your inbox.
But if death was suddenly real to you, if you were given only a few months or years to
live, what would you immediately spend less time doing?
What would the this that Marcus Arelius referred to be?
And would you cut it out?
We'll cut that thing out now, not later,
because death is real.
We do not have unlimited time.
None of us do, which is why we have to get serious now.
What expensive things cost?
And this is from this week's entry
in the Daily Steal of Journal,
366 days of writing and reflection on the art of living
by yours truly and my co-writer and translator,
Stephen Hanselman.
I actually do this journal every single day.
There's a question in the morning,
a question in the afternoon,
and then there's these sort of weekly meditations.
As Epictetus says, every day and night,
we keep thoughts like this at hand,
write them, read them aloud, and talk to yourself,
and others about them.
You can check out the Daily Stoke Journal,
Anywhere Books or Sold,
and also get a signed personalized copy from me
in the Daily Stoke Store,
at store.dailystoke.com.
From the cynics, the Stoics learned the powerful practice
of focusing on the true worth of things,
that the cost of an item isn't simply what it's sold for,
but what it costs the owner to own.
So much of our desire for material goods comes
at the great price of both anxiety
and the loss of our serenity.
And even when gained,
these things often leave us more anxious and less serene.
So today, spend some time reflecting
on what the things you buy actually cost
you and see if they are really worth what you have been paying. And that's from today's entry
in the Daily Stoke Journal. And we have some quotes from Seneca and Epochitis here. So concerning
the things we pursue and for what we vigorously exert ourselves, we owe this consideration.
Either there is nothing useful in them or most aren't useful.
Some of them are superfluous, while others aren't worth that much.
But we don't discern this and see them as free when they cost us so dearly.
That's Santa Cus moral letters.
Then we have epictetus.
If a person gave your body away to some passer-by, you'd be furious, yet you hand over your mind
to anyone who comes along so that they may abuse you, leaving it disturbed and troubled.
Have you no shame, epictetus asks.
And then we have Diogeny's laertis, quoting Diogeny's of synope.
That's Diogeny's the cynic.
He says, we sell things of great value for things
a very little advice for some.
You know, they say the best things in life are free.
And that's not really true, but I would say
that a lot of things are much more expensive
than they appear, right?
So we chase these things, we want these things,
we want a fancy car and then we're
worried about making sure nothing happens to that fancy car. Remember a few years ago,
I put new floors at my house and on the one hand, I hated the old floors and it made
the house look better and they were easier to walk on and improve my life. But then we
had kids and now all of a sudden there's
this part of me that worries about the floors all the time, right? I don't want them to get
scratched. I don't want water to sit on them. The dog went to the bathroom. And so this
thing that cost me money, it was not cheap to put new floors in the house, didn't just
cost what it cost. It cost all the anxiety. It cost the arguments between me and my wife about who's to blame for this scratch on the floor from the couch.
It cost goodwill between me and my kid because I'm like, hey, why did you spell that part of you that just blurt out trying to protect things. And the truth is, it really doesn't matter. I remember I was I was talking to a therapist
about some version of this. And she said, just write it off. Like write it off in your head. You
spend the money. It's gone. You can't try to keep it all together. Right? You can't try to keep it
pristine. It's like the people who buy a toy and then they want it in mint condition. I mean, this is, this is not just a violation of the law of entropy. It's a violation of
the law of happiness. You will not be happy if this is how you're spending all your time
trying to keep everything in one place, trying to keep them together. It's an illusion. It
will not last. You cannot do it. You have to be able to let go. That's the old Zen saying that, you know,
the cup is already broken, the cup is already broken. The stillyx knew that expensive things
cost even more than their price tag. That's why there's the great story of Epictetus. He has this
lamp, it's stolen. In the next day, he says, I'm going to go get a cheaper lamp, so I don't have to
worry about it getting stolen ever again, and I don't have to be sad that it's missing ever again.
So for this dog, remember, it's not just what actually is valuable and isn't.
You know, a lot of times we describe value to things that are superficial and meaningless
and pointless, but also it's realizing that you are spending even more money than you
think on things and you're spending, you're spending your happiness
is really what you're spending on.
And so I wanna leave you with that thought.
It's not that you live in a pigstie,
you don't care about anything.
You should try to keep your things nice
and not unnecessarily wear them down,
but you also cannot resist entropy,
you cannot resist time, you cannot resist wear and tear.
And if you do so, it comes at the expense.
The most important thing, which is time, and the other most important thing, which is your happiness,
and the other most important thing, which is the relationships, the people in your life.
So you only have so much time to think or worry, or spend time on things, or you're going to spend it trying to preserve your floors,
and you're not even going to live there forever, you you're probably gonna tear them out at some point anyway.
No, focus on what happens.
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