The Daily Stoic - Why We Admire Marcus Aurelius | Ancient Strategies For Finding Happiness

Episode Date: November 1, 2022

Marcus Aurelius was smart. He was rich and powerful. He won wars and conquered territories.But that doesn’t explain why we are still talking about his Meditations so many thousands of years later. As Brand Blandshard would observe of Marcus’s writings 1984,"Few care now about the marches and countermarches of the Roman commanders. What the centuries have clung to is a notebook of thoughts by a man whose real life was largely unknown who put down in the midnight dimness not the events of the day or the plans of the morrow, but something of far more permanent interest, the ideals and aspirations that a rare spirit lived by."📕 We created a premium leather-bound edition of Meditations - To learn more and to pick up your own copy of this beautiful new edition of Meditations, visit dailystoic.com/meditations✉️ Want Stoic wisdom delivered to your inbox daily? Sign up for the FREE Daily Stoic email at https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, and Facebook See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stoic Podcast early and add free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we read a passage of ancient wisdom designed to help you in your everyday life. On Tuesdays, we take a closer look at these stoic ideas, how we can apply them in our actual lives. Thanks for listening, and I hope you enjoy. Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wunderree's podcast business wars. And in our new season, Walmart must fight off target, the new discounter that's both savvy and fashion forward. Listen to business wars on Amazon music or wherever you get your podcasts. Why we admire Marcus Aurelius.

Marcus Aurelius was smart, he was rich and powerful, he won wars and conquered territories. But that doesn't explain why we are still talking about his meditations so many thousands of years later. As Bran Blanchard would observe of Marcus' writings way back in 1984, few now care about the marches and counter marches of the Roman commanders. What the centuries have clung to is a notebook of the thoughts by a man whose real life was largely unknown, who put down in the midnight dimness not the events of the day or the plans of the morrow. But something a far more permanent interest, the ideals and aspirations that a rare spirit lived by.

So what were those ideals and aspirations? What did that rare spirit live by? The opening pages of meditations reveal that spirit quite well. For meditations begins with a section entitled, Dets and Lessons. Across 17 entries and some 2100 words, a full 10% of the book, Marcus takes the time to acknowledge and codify the lessons he had learned from the important people in his life. As we said recently, it's remarkable to remember that his book was never to be seen by the people mentioned.

It was purely for his own edification that Marcus wanted to remember that his grandfather taught him to be courteous. His father taught him to be manly without ostentation. His mother taught him to be generous, his tutors, and still the positive work ethic. We know that Marcus tried to live by the four virtues. In book three, he said he never found anything better in life than courage, discipline, justice, and wisdom. In book six, he added epithets for himself. Values, values he said should not be traded for any others. Upright, modest, straightforward, sane, cooperative, disinterested. Isn't that what we're all pursuing? Isn't that what we are all looking for the virtues?

The code that guided that rare spirit of a man? Isn't that what we want to take and apply in our own lives? It's even remarkable to see what Marcus promised would happen if you followed this prescription. If you maintain your claim to these epithets, you wrote, without caring if others apply them to you or not, you become a new person living a new life. If you want to talk about passing on a legacy, that's the best you can do. If you want to be admired, be a good person, live life by a rare spirit, being in control of yourself, be generous, live by those four virtues that Marcus lived by every day, even if no one gives you credit. And then, and only then, we'd be worthy of lasting and permanent

interest. And speaking of lasting and permanent interest. And speaking of lasting and permanent interest, in case you missed it, we have our own edition of meditations that were published in a leather bound edition of this timeless book that I helped bring into the world. Most of the cause, my own copy is a little worse for where some 16 years after buying it. And I wanted something really stand the test of time. This new one has a genuine leather cover with these gold foil imprints. There's 12 illustrations for each of the 12 books of meditations.

Comes in this cool box. There's these cool inshites. And then there's a ribbon to mark your page as you're going through it. And then of course, there is my life of markets that I wrote at the end of the book for all of you to read. We'd love for you to check it out, which you can grab at dailystowach.com slash meditations. We're shipping them out next week because we only have a very limited run of them, so grab one while you still can before they sell out and it almost certainly will at dailystowach.com

slash meditations. One of my absolute favorite writers is Arthur Brooks. I've had him on the podcast twice. I read his columns for the Atlantic. I've read his work many times. We carry his book Strength to Strength here at the painted porch. And he came out, this feels like forever ago now, in March. He was here for South by Southwest, he came out to sign some of the books. And he and I talked specifically about the Stoics,

what the Stoics got wrong, his equation for happiness, and much, much more. I think you're going to like this riffing between me and Arthur Brooks. We've had the longer form interviews in the podcast, so if you want even more from him, you can listen, we've got basically another two hours of conversation with Arthur. But for now, why don't you just listen to he and I talking about some stoic ideas and you must check out his writing for the Atlantic. You most recently wrote a piece that quoted me, but it's all about Seneca's solutions for happiness. It's called 11 ancient solutions for modern malaise, and I'll link to that in the episode page as well. Thanks so much. It's always wonderful talking to Arthur. I ran into him at a dinner

party. That's how we first got connected. And then he happened to know my podcast producer, Jane Brady Knight, and she set this up. So thanks to Jane as well and enjoyed this conversation with me and Arthur Brooks talking about the Stoics and the Art of Happiness. Most important thing that we get wrong in the reading of the Stoics is not actually being alive in our own feelings and understanding ourselves but trying to block out the things that we consider to be weak. What are some happiness strategies from the ancients? There are lots.

I mean, obviously, there's so much to choose from, but let me think of three really contrasting ones. And we'll start with the guy who is the anti-stolic Epicurus. His big idea about happiness is it comes from peace. It comes from tranquility. It comes from good feelings. So get all the bad feelings out of your life, get all the hassles and problems out of your life, live well, live with peace and happiness will fall. We think of Epicurus saying that pleasure is happiness, but really saying about removing so unpleasantness. People think of him as some sort of unbridled immoral heatness.

That's completely wrong. Epicurus, I mean, he had a cult, a compound, a commune or something, where people were like, yeah, the Epicurian way was a big deal. But he was really all about peace, all about being able to live well without the problems of life and pinging upon you. If you take away all those problems,

then that's when you find your happiness. All right, so what are the other two? Second one is let's take this one, this is the classic. This is from Jesus Christ, radical love. That's the secret of happiness, because happiness is love. Love is God, God is love, and happiness is the ultimate thing

that you can acquire in life and acquire in the life hereafter as well. In meditation's Mark Ceruleus, I think it's from one of his philosophical mentors, he says, I'd be curious what you think of this paradox. He says, the key is to be free of passion but full of love. Yeah. Yeah. You know, there's actually, there's something too that all the Christian worldview would

say that to be free of passion is a problem too because what you need is passion. Well, it's a different sense than what Epicurus would have said and what Stoics would have said too. The excess emotionality that we would associate with that is certainly. Yeah, I can actually find consistency between those two. Yeah, the, you know, anger, lust, greed, desire, etc. compared to the basic positive and negative emotions. Yeah, and the complex emotions that actually come from being a Personfully live that's quite different. I agree. Okay, third one. Third one is let's go to the Lord Buddha 500 years before Christ who would say the secret of happiness is Want less this is really important and this gets actually to the concept of passions as we were talking as as Epicures or epictetus for that matter would have understood passions. A lot less because that's the basis of attachment.

And you know, the first noble law of Buddhism is that life is suffering where the word in Sanford is duke, which is really dissatisfaction. When you want more, all you do is you blow up here to satisfaction and the secret to defeating that into a full path of the noble path of Buddhism is is really it comes down to Wanting what are some things you think the stokes got wrong? So probably the Stoics didn't actually get anything wrong But there's a lot of the ways that we interpret the Stoics that we get wrong Sure in the way that we think about them

So what are the ways that people who don't read enough of your books? Who are not you know daily consumers of this product they get wrong is they, in the way that we think about them. So one of the ways that people who don't read enough of your books, who are not, you know, daily consumers of this product, they get wrong, is they think to be a stoic, you need to stiff-upper up or lip, not feel any suffering, that you need to actually bear yourself in a dignified way with pain, but you shouldn't actually feel pain, and you certainly shouldn't show people that you feel pain. And that's wrong. That's actually... Lowercase first uppercase stoicism, you could say. I can't think that's right pain. And that's wrong. That's actually. Lowercase first uppercase stoics. You could say, I can't think that's right. I think that's right. So you know, are you taking this pain stoically?

That just means, it's sort of British. And a stiff, stiff, up-per-lip stuff. That's actually not how this, I mean, the stoics, they feel the same things that we feel, but they actually find the meaning in them. And as such, they point their emotions in a productive direction and manage them appropriately. So the most important thing that we get wrong in the reading of the Stoics is not actually being alive in our own feelings and understanding ourselves

but trying to block out the things that we consider to be weak. And don't you think one of the things I think people get wrong about the Stoics is this idea that they're apathetic or resigned, that they sort of just defer to the status quo, which to be as polite by the fact that they were all involved in politics. They all created works of art. They all raised because they were all engaged in life, which is, I think, a theme in your work that one of the best ways you can find happiness is by finding purpose, finding something, a project, a thing, a cause to put yourself in.

Not totally. And to dedicate yourself entirely to teaching other means of the most poignant, stoic moments, as far as I'm concerned, is the last words of Cicero. I mean, who arguably was a stoic? I mean, he was kind of a mixed bad... It's a fellow traveler. Yeah, totally. And he was being pursued by Roman centurions

to be put to death because he had crossed Mark Anthony over the assassination of Julius Caesar. He was like getting canceled, man. I mean, we think it's bad today. So he's chased by these centurions, and they they track him down and they're about to cut his throat and he says There's nothing proper about what you are about to do to me centurion, but do try to kill me properly And I think some of those like epic last words they come from a place of confidence and security and Like that you know what what matters in life.

You can only have the sort of balls to sort of defy Nero as Seneca does at the end or Kater does at the end. You know, I think of Kato sitting down to read Socrates before taking his own life rather than submit to Caesar. To me, that's a person who knows what really matters in life even though he's spending, and he's spending his few last minutes on earth with that. Oh, it's so important. You know, this is, if there's one thing that we learn about the end of life from the Stoics,

it should be that your last word should not be, oh, let me hang on for one more minute. Yeah, it's like, I will take, you know, that machine, that test, that drug, whatever it happens to be, just give me 10 more minutes, just like gripping with your fingernails at very end or pleading for your life. I mean, look, your life's gonna end, whether it's today or 30 years from now, die with dignity and die in such a way that you can inspire other people.

Yeah, Marcus really is dying of the plague, his friends are crying and he says, don't cry about me. Think about all the people who have also lost their lives and then think about your own mortality now. In this moment, to me, he's, how can I spend my last few minutes on earth productively not to make a little more money, to write a more thing, but to just actually be there?

He's being there for the people who are supposed to be. Yeah, yeah, no, it turns out it's real last words, where I should have bought more crap. Yes, right. And it's not, I'm sorry. His last word should have been something about. I really screwed up with Communists. Please don't make a member.

But I'm a good freshman. And careful with my son. Yes. Give me the equation for happiness. The equation for happiness is that 50% is genetic. 25% is your circumstances. And 25% is your habit. So we only control 25% of it directly.

However, here's the interesting thing. So 50% comes from identical twin studies. There's a lot of great science on this. That 50% of your baseline happiness is genetic, but it's actually all actually having to do with your habits as well. Why? Because all of our genetics also have switches.

You have proclivities and switches. So something like 60% of your tendency to be an alcoholic is genetic, but I have this incredible technology. It's called not drinking, right? Sure. Which means that you're not tendency to be an alcoholic and genetic, but I have this incredible technology. It's called not drinking. Right, sure. Which means that you're not gonna be an alcoholic and the circumstances.

And the same thing gets over a good help with said, yeah, or just not drink, and both your parents are alcoholics, which is probably a pretty good strategy. And so this is the same thing with happiness. You have your baseline and understanding yourself, knowing yourself, which is from the Oracle Adelphi, know yourself.

I mean, this is one of the most ancient ideas. It's critically important, such that you are not a slave to your proclivities, but rather than the master with your switches, of yourself. The second part is circumstances. Everybody thinks that's a big swinger. If I ask my students, what will make you permanently happy? It's like getting that job, graduating from college.

Happy New York City. Yeah, I think the person I love, marry me. Sorry. Circumstances do affect 25% of your happiness or unhappiness, but they never last. The thing that really lasts and affects your circumstances to give you a better luck and your switches, so you're not mastered by your genetics is your habits.

And your habits come in four categories. All the happiest people have four daily habit. And everything you do falls into one of these particular categories. Now there's lots of little things like, you know, go to the gym and intervention bowls and this kind of stuff. But the big four are faith, family, friendship, and work with certain others. And faith means, by the way, not necessarily traditional faith. It means a lighting something big of it yourself. Yeah, it's something transcendental. So you can zoom out and get peace and perspective. And that, by the way, it might just be stifling so much.

Sure, just to pull that one out of the ad, of course. I would agree to. But by the way, and that is not inconsistent with traditional religious faith, I'm a practicing Catholic and a student of the Stoics. Sure. Second is family life, the type of mind that don't break and you don't choose, and God knows you wouldn't,

in many cases, but those are the 2am calls you can count on. Sure. The third is the most intimate relationships in many cases, but those are the 2am calls you can count on. Sure. The third is the most intimate relationships in your life, which is your friends. And that means for all the strivers that are watching us right now, real friends, not deal friends. Yes, what you talk about in strength to strength. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah, it's such a big difference. I know so many. What does your son say you were on the phone and you're like, oh, that was my friend. And he said, is that a work friend or a real friend? He said, is that a real friend dad or a deal friend. You have a lot of deal friends. His kid's like a leffit. I mean, he's been listening to me or reading my research or something. It's very annoying. And the last is work. And work's just got to

have two characteristics to it. You have to earn your success and you have to serve other people, especially people with less power and privilege than you. And what an extraordinary joy it is. And I don't care if you're a bus driver, if you're a writer, or a college professor, or an electrician. If you believe that you're earning your success, your skills meet your passions, and your accomplishments, and merit, or reward it,

and you serve other people, and you know who they are, who get joy from your work. So Zeno, founder of SOS, is a bit of a... It's that position of REC, he washes up in Athens, and he looks pissed out of the story goes. He ends up in a bookstore and he hears the bookseller reading the work of Socrates or a work about Socrates. Specifically this is from Zennephan, he's reading about the choice of Hercules, I'm right, virtue and vice. And afterwards he walks up to him and he

says, where can I find a man like that? Like Socrates. And he points him to a philosopher who's walking by and says like there. And that's where stoicism comes from is this sort of philosophical encounter to bookstores. But where it all comes full circle is Zeno had gone to the Oracle as a young man and the Oracle had said, you will become wise when you begin

to have conversations with the dead, which he realized in that bookstore was philosophy. This philosophy is how we talk to the wisest people. They're really into it. So tell me this. What was the role or the Xenolost, everything that Shepard had? It was all of his purple ink or whatever you was selling. Purple dye, which was super expensive stuff.

It was made from seashells or from some of that. Seasnails, yes, by slits. But he was ruined. He had to be ruined to become complete. How's that? Well, so he says I made a great fortune when I suffered a shipwreck. Was it because he suffered the shipwreck that he made the great fortune or was it subsequent to that and certain differences? Well, the great fortune was discovering philosophy. But he couldn't have done it unless he had blocked it. It's very fortunate. Let's like in Fight Club. Once you lose everything you're free to do anything. Like I think it was, it's not just like, oh, the serendipity of like, because of this,

Butterfly Flops, it's when the scenes appear. I think it's by losing everything, he's forced to rebuild his life. And at that rock bottom moment, it's what do I build my life around? What matters, what do I care about? He was a merchant, he was dealing interior in purple because that's what his father had done

and his father had done before him. So I think it wipes this late clean. And he's like, well, now I'm at this crossroads that what direction am I gonna go? So for people watching you, us, right now talking about this and they're suffering because they're bereaved or they're insecure or they're sick or they're afraid. That's a huge opportunity and they should say something has wiped my slate clean

and like Zeno I can actually arise and do but end up much much better way right. And only because of this loss. Yes and that's the idea of finding the meaning of the suffering. It always allows you to re-evaluate the question, to change, to go in a different direction that had you gotten everything you thought you wanted would not have been possible. I hope you liked this video. I hope you subscribe.

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