The Daily Stoic - You Are What You Won't Do For Money

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Starting point is 00:01:51 audiobooks that we like here or recommend here at Daily Stoic, and other long-form wisdom that you can chew on on this relaxing weekend. We hope this helps shape your understanding of this philosophy, and most importantly, that you're able to apply it to your actual life. Thank you for listening. Hey, it's Ryan. Welcome to another episode of the Daily Stoic podcast. I hope you're having a great morning.

Starting point is 00:02:27 on a morning, not unlike this one a couple months ago. I got this email. Now, it was a sales pitch, so I take it with a grain of salt. But according to what the person was claiming, whose name I will leave off and company I will leave off, I have a seven-figure opportunity sitting in front of me. And I'm an idiot if I don't see that or take advantage of it. Basically, all I would have to do would be to partner with this supplement maker, and we could make a line of supplements with the Daily Stoic brand. The supplements they were saying could be about calm and clarity and resilience, and they said the brand could easily make several million dollars, and they mentioned a handful of people who have done very similar plays. And unlike the

Starting point is 00:03:22 stuff we do at Daily Stoic, I wouldn't have to do the procurement or the production or the the design of the fulfillment. Basically, it's just a licensing and a platform play. Now, there's only one problem here, which is that I just don't want to do it. It doesn't interest me like at all. And it's not that I'm like opposed to supplements or vitamins. I took some this morning. We've advertised a bunch of them here on Daily Stoic and The Daily Dad over the years. If you listened to my state of the show episode, I talk about how I think about which which advertisers we take on. And there's a bunch of things I won't do. I won't do gambling. I won't do CBT stuff. I don't do things that are obviously scams. But I don't think there's anything wrong

Starting point is 00:04:07 with supplements. And like I said, I not only take some, I think that they work. And I don't think there's anything wrong with making money or being in business. In fact, when I had Robert Rosencranz on the podcast, he talked about stoicism and capitalism. And he said, I'm a stoic capitalist, because I write books and sell them to people. And, you know, Seneca talked about this 2,000 years ago. He says, no one has condemned wisdom to poverty. He said, the philosopher shall have considerable wealth, but it will not have been pride from any man's hands. It will not be stained by anyone's blood. Now, Seneca doesn't really live up to this himself. I mean, he makes a lot of money while he works for Nero. But I like the sentiment, right? Like, it's fine to make money as long as you're making

Starting point is 00:04:53 money honestly and not exploitatively and that you're not hurting anyone in the process. There's a lot of things we don't do for DailyStoke. I don't really do t-shirts. I don't do stickers. I don't do like a lot of the things where people just slap their name on something and sell it. Usually through some third party company, don't really sell hats. It doesn't feel right. More importantly, it doesn't get me excited. It's not like why. I built the Daily Stoic or what I think the platform should be for. And so as long as I'm in charge, which is I don't really see any reason why I wouldn't be, having taken on outside investors, I don't have a boss, I'm not going anywhere.

Starting point is 00:05:41 As long as I'm around and I'm in charge, that's not how I want to use the platform. But as I said, I do remain a capitalist and even a proud one in some ways. I've built businesses, I've invested in businesses, we make and sell a lot of things at Daly Stoke. But I like those things. I believe in them. The first thing we ever made with Daly Stoke, the Memento Mori coin, I have one right here. I thought it would be cool to have a Memento Mori thing to carry around.

Starting point is 00:06:12 And I looked at what I saw online and I didn't like any of them. I thought they were cheap and I made my own. We work with Wendell's, this company that. has been in business since the 1880s. They actually invented the idea of a challenge coin for Alcoholics Anonymous. So that's how I think about what we make, right? I want to do things that address a real need.

Starting point is 00:06:33 And the fact that they work commercially is extra. And by the way, that is the good part about capitalism that sometimes people sort of flippantly dismiss. Like, if you don't like the stuff we make, if you don't like anything that anyone makes, you have a magical power here, Just like you have the power to have no opinion, as Marks really says, you have the opinion to not buy stuff, right? I see people go, nobody needs this.

Starting point is 00:06:58 I would sort of agree, nobody needs most things. But if you want it, if you'd like to have it, if you think it would add value to you, well, that's what a voluntary exchange of goods and services is about. Now, look, I do understand there's some privilege in my attitude. I do think that is one of the benefits of living somewhat within your means is you have the ability. to make these choices. But I'm not saying any of this to judge people in different financial circumstances. But this is the message of today's episode. I have come to believe that we are defined by the things that we don't do for money. Like, do you know who Audie Murphy is? We carry his book in the painted porch, one of the great American memoirs. He was the most

Starting point is 00:07:43 decorated soldier in American history. Before he'd turned 21, he'd fought in nine or ten. campaigns. It was wounded multiple times. He received 33 medals for valor, including the Medal of Honor, three Purple Hearts, and every other army combat decoration. Again, in one battle, he was up against something like 250 German soldiers and six tanks. He orders the men to fall back. And he alone climbs into this burning tank destroyer and uses its machine guns to hold off the Nazis for over an hour, kills 50 of them, doesn't give an inch of of ground and he holds the woods until the reinforcements came. And so after the war, because of his fame and notoriety, becomes an actor and a musician. But I was so impressed by something that comes

Starting point is 00:08:33 sort of at the end of the memoir. In 1968, he talks about how he turns down huge amounts of money to appear in a series of alcohol and cigarette companies. He says, how would it look? War hero drinks booze. It says, I couldn't do that to the kids. This is an ad by BetterHelp. I have a therapy appointment in two days. It's from 10 to 11. I do it remotely. So it takes from 10 to 11. I don't have to drive. I don't have to find parking. I don't have to worry about traffic. And I think this is really great because when we can have excuses or when there are impediments or friction to taking care of ourselves, we sometimes take the excuse to not take care of ourselves. And that's why I do online therapy. And that's where

Starting point is 00:09:27 today's sponsor comes in. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over five million people globally. You join a session with a therapist at the click of a button. That helps you fit therapy into your busy life. Plus, you can switch therapists at any time. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash Daily Stoic Pod. That's BetterH-E-L-P.com slash Daily Stoic Pot. In Right Thing Right Now, I talked about Harry Truman and how

Starting point is 00:10:13 he works his way up through the corrupt Kansas City political machine without being corrupted. He says, in this long career, I had certain rules I followed, win, lose, or draw. I refused to handle any political money in any way, whatever. I engaged in no private interest, whatever, that could be helped by local, state, or national governments. I refused presents and hotels and trips which were paid for by private parties. He wouldn't make speeches for money or even excessive. expenses. He says, I lived on the salary I was legally entitled to and considered that I was employed by the taxpayers and the people of my country, state, and nation. And actually, in his

Starting point is 00:10:54 post-presidency years, very different than the practice today, he was nearly broke when he left office. In fact, the reason we have a presidential pension is that people were concerned about a broke former president. And yet, for Truman, being bankrupt was preferable to compromising his principles. I told this story actually when I was in stage recently. This is also in right thing right now, but I told this story when I gave a talk to a group of entrepreneurs in Hawaii. They asked me to speak about values. And let me play that for you. In 1935, the choreographer Martha Graham is approached by an Olympic committee from Berlin. They want her to put on a performance, the upcoming 1936 Olympics. And Martha considers it. She is basically dead broke.

Starting point is 00:11:49 It is a huge commission. It is literally the world's stage. She turns it down. She says, over half of my company is Jewish. What would they think? I can't in good conscience possibly perform for you. They threatened her as so often happens when you challenge authority. They said, if you don't come, everyone will know about it, and that will be a bad thing for you. And so you have both the carrot and the stick. And Martha thinks about it, and then famously replies, if I don't come, everyone will know why I didn't, and that will be a bad thing for you. I was thinking afterwards at the applause at Graham's line.

Starting point is 00:12:37 Graham didn't experience this as an applause line. She couldn't live on gratitude or respect, especially coming decades later. This must have been an incredibly hard choice. It must have been a scary choice. But it was the right thing to do as a person. And yet it doesn't change the fact that she would have had financial obligations as a businesswoman with dancers to support. And I think every entrepreneur, every parent certainly knows that choice.

Starting point is 00:13:04 You have your views and then you have payroll. to meet. You have kids to feed. You have investors to satisfy. You have your ego to fill. There's a scene in the Great Gatsby where Gatsby approaches the young Nick Carraway, the cousin of Daisy Buchanan, the love of his life. And Gatsby's trying to win back Daisy so he first wants to win over Carraway. And he tells Nick, you know, I carry on a little business on the side. I know you don't make very much, he says. So maybe this would interest you. He says, it won't take up much of your time and you might pick up a nice bit of money. It's also rather confidential. And it's only later that Nick, understanding more clearly that Gatsby was a gangster and a bootlegger, that he says he realizes

Starting point is 00:13:48 under different circumstances, that conversation might have been one of the crises of my life. Gatsby was trying to draw him in, trying to hook him on the lifestyle. Now, I haven't always been good at this. I've gotten myself into some fixes that might have gone badly for me. I remember one time Dove Charnie tried to buy me a car. I remember thinking, oh, there's an ulterior motive here. I'll accept my salary, but I don't want extra stuff on the side. I know that nothing comes for free. I also sometimes look back on clients and people that I work for in my 20s, including Dove, sometimes even people much later than in my 20s, when I should have known better. And I feel the urge to take a shower. I suspect growing up, I heard my

Starting point is 00:14:36 parents talk more about financial success than about integrity or ethics. And it took time for me to develop the character and confidence to be able to say no, to say no to things that gave me the ick or that seemed iffy. Actually, when I had Maddox on the podcast, we talked about this exactly. I was very struck by a choice he made. Actually, let me play that for you here, too. where I've turned down millions of dollars similarly there's there's people who tap me on the shoulder like hey can you help grow our channel I'm like I can but I won't because I let take a look at it and I'm like I don't want this to be seen my more people yeah I don't want to I have principles and I'm at odd sometimes with you know some collaborators and people I work with because they're like

Starting point is 00:15:21 well it's money I'm like yeah it's not I don't want to I don't want to put this out in the world it doesn't need a bigger platform and I know I can make them much bigger and I don't want to do that And, you know, I wrestle with this still. I turned down a talk last year from an organization I thought was a scam. I weighed whether I should cancel one recently with someone whose politics I found abhorrent. I think my reading and my study of Stoic philosophy has helped me get better at it. And maybe it's because my inclination is sometimes to make money that I find it impressive when people turn it down, especially when they really need it or especially when it's a lot of money.

Starting point is 00:15:56 And right thing right now, I also talked about Rory McElroy and how he turns down hundreds of millions of easy money because he believed that the live golf league was bad for the game. He said something. This came right after a daily stoic email that I know he got. He said, the decisions you make in your life purely for money don't usually end up going the right way. And do you know what his reward for all that was, though? His game took a major hit from the distraction and the PJ tour hung him out to dry. But that can sometimes just be how it goes. Do you know what they called Truman when he was elected to the Senate?

Starting point is 00:16:34 When they weren't calling him a hick, they called him the senator from Pendergrast, implying that he was owned by the political boss. He'd forgotten millions of dollars of bribes and deals, and he still gets a reputation for being corrupt. But he turns to Marcus Rillis in meditations, where Marx Rilis talks about how you can earn a bad reputation by doing good, deeds. That is what he turns to precisely in that moment, experiencing the same phenomenon two thousand years later. I think I've made some expensive decisions in my career about what I

Starting point is 00:17:11 will and won't do, as well as some expensive decisions about how we do what we do. We have another episode about this, and I talked about it a few times, like the decision to work with people who use environmentally friendly products, raw materials, or pay fair wages, or manufactured domestically. That's not cheap. That comes out of my pocket. That comes out of the profit margins of the things that we do. And still, though, people will sometimes call us, you know, dollar signs doicism, or people will call me a grifter, or even the choices that I make about what ads we run. Like, we still get complaints about the ads, period. That's just how it goes, though. And that is what Marcus Reelis was talking about.

Starting point is 00:17:57 You do the right thing because it's the right thing, not because you want the third thing after that, the recognition, the appreciation. You don't want people to go, oh, you're such a wonderful person. Thank you for all you do. That's not why you do it. And in fact, you not only might not get that,

Starting point is 00:18:10 you might see other people do the wrong thing and get not the heat that you would have gotten or get recognition even though they don't deserve it, right? Someone probably will do a stoic supplement. They might even make a bunch of money from it. Someone might listen to this episode where I'm saying, don't do that. It's a dumb idea.

Starting point is 00:18:29 Do the idea. And that's life, right? But that person won't be me. I don't think you can call it a principle. There's a great expression about this unless it has cost you something. Money, access, friends, followers, convenience, and opportunity to get ahead. I don't think you're rich unless your hands are clean. I don't think you're rich if your money came stained in blood.

Starting point is 00:18:55 You're not free if you can't say no. And you really don't know who you are till you know what you won't do for money. That is today's episode. Thank you for listening. And I mean that. Thank you for listening because that's partly why I'm in the position to say no to some of these things. I mean, I'd say no anyway. But I am privileged to be able to have this platform.

Starting point is 00:19:20 I have a little note card right here next to my desk and says, am I being a good steward of stoicism? Am I being a good steward of your time, your faith in me, your interest in me, your interest in stoicism was something that someone was nice enough to recommend to me, and that's why I'm in this position, and I feel obligated to pay that forward and treat it right and treat it with respect. So I'm trying to live up to that. I'm not always going to be perfect. I'm definitely going to make mistakes. I hope I don't let you down. I hope I haven't let you down. I'm doing my best. And, uh, you know, keep keeping me honest. I appreciate it and try to stay honest and good. Keep your hands clean and not stained in blood yourself. And focus on what you can say no to

Starting point is 00:20:01 because you are what you won't do for money. Thanks so much for listening. If you could rate this podcast and leave a review on iTunes, that would mean so much to us and it would really help the show. We appreciate it. And I'll see you next episode. I don't know.

The Daily Stoic - You Are What You Won't Do For Money

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