The Daily Stoic - You Control What You Hear, Not What People Say
Episode Date: October 22, 2020"The political strategist and pollster Frank Luntz is fond of the expression, 'It’s not what you say, it’s what people hear.' His point is that politicians often think they... come across to the public one way, but in fact are seen and heard quite differently. The same goes with issues, which might seem straightforward but in fact are interpreted with all sorts of baggage and context."Ryan explores this expression and what lessons you can learn from it on today's Daily Stoic Podcast.***If you enjoyed this week’s podcast, we’d love for you to leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It helps with our visibility, and the more people listen to the podcast, the more we can invest into it and make it even better.Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: http://DailyStoic.com/signupFollow Daily Stoic:Twitter: https://twitter.com/dailystoicInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dailystoic/Facebook: http://facebook.com/dailystoicYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/dailystoicSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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You control what you hear, not what people say.
The political strategist in poster Frank Lundz is fond of the expression, it's not what
you say, it's what people hear.
His point is that politicians often think they come across to the public one way, but in fact are seen and heard quite differently. The
same goes with issues which might seem straightforward, but in fact are interpreted with all sorts
of baggage and context. This is a timeless political reality. Some of the Stokes were more effective
at managing it than other, but that's not really the point. The distinction between what is said and heard is worth noting
and are personalized for two reasons.
Most simply, we should realize that we can't always control
how people perceive us, even if our intentions are good
and our message is clear.
But more importantly, we should think about this distinction
in relation to epictetus's observation
about how anytime we are offended,
we are at least partly to blame.
Because let's flip lunches remark around, it's equally true that it's not what someone said,
it's what you've heard. You have the power to interpret the remark as read or pointed.
It's your brain that's made the decision to record something as being in bad taste or stupid or
awkward. The ask is the ask.
Remember, the remark or the request is objective,
our opinion of what it means or why it was said is subjective.
So while we cannot change the words
that come out of other people's mouths,
we can control how we choose to hear them.
That's really the thing for you to start thinking about
what's a better way to go through the world,
being provoked and outraged or pissed off and disappointed because you've chosen to see the worst in people
because being able to laugh, to let go, to see through the rough exterior, to ignore because you've chosen to hear better, you control which path you choose and in the process, you choose how happy your life is going to be. If you're liking this podcast, we would love for you to subscribe.
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