The Daily Stoic - You Deserve Moments Like This | (Dis)integration

Episode Date: March 3, 2023

We are so busy. We think we’re supposed to be. We think that’s how we get better. We think that moving is the only way to move forward.You might think that Marcus Aurelius could relate. Yet when he speaks most beautifully it’s of moments of quiet and calm. "If you can cut free of impressions that cling to the mind," he said, "free of the future and the past—can make yourself, as Empedocles says, 'a sphere rejoicing in its perfect stillness.’" Have you ever had a moment like that?---And in today's Daily Stoic excerpt reading, Ryan discusses his perspective on focusing on the internal more than the external by examining the quote from Epictetus's Discourses, “These things don’t go together. You must be a unified human being, either good or bad. You must diligently work either on your own reasoning or on things out of your control—take great care with the inside and not what’s outside, which is to say, stand with the philosopher, or else with the mob!”✉️  Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: https://dailystoic.com/dailyemail🏛 Check out the Daily Stoic Store for Stoic inspired products, signed books, and more.📱 Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, prime members, you can listen to the Daily Stoic podcast early and add free on Amazon music. Download the app today. Welcome to the Daily Stoic podcast. On Friday, we do double duty, not just reading our daily meditation, but also reading a passage from the Daily Stoic. My book, 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance in the Heart of Living, which I wrote with my wonderful collaborator, translator, and a literary agent, Stephen Hanselman. So today, I will give you a quick meditation from the Stokes with some analysis from me, and then we'll send you out into the world to turn

these words into works. Have you ever had a motionless moment? We are so busy, we think we're supposed to be, we think that's how we get better, we think that moving is the only way forward. And you might think that Mark as a realist could relate. After all, he headed an entire empire. He had books to read, writing to do, laws to pass, cases to hear, troops to lead. So yes, he was a busy man. He, like us, was pulled in many directions. He had ambitions, worries, hopes, dreams. And yet, when he speaks most beautifully, it's of moments of quiet and calm. If you can cut free of impressions that cling to the mind, he said, free of the future in the past

and can make yourself, as impetically says, a sphere rejoicing in its perfect stillness. Have you ever had a moment like that? If you have, you know how special it is. You know what kind of insights you were able to access, what kind of happiness crept in, what kind of peace you were able to feel. Marcus wrote that having that stillness allows us to concentrate

on what living can be lived, the present moment. Only then he said, could you spend the time you have left and tranquility and in kindness and at peace with the spirit within you? You deserve moments like that, moments where you watch the snow fall, moments when you sit quietly with a book, moments when you look out the train window, not on a conference call, not checking email, not wondering how long until you arrive in the city, but a moment to check in with yourself to think about your life and what you want to do with it, moments

with loved ones, moments when you are grateful, connected, happy, creative in the zone, doing whatever it is that you do best. When the Stoics talk about stillness, they're not talking about some abstract notion, they're talking about maybe the most important thing you can be doing in your life. They are saying that all the work you are doing, all the thoughts you're expending, trying to get ahead, trying to force as a breakthrough are pointless. The real way to charge ahead is to slow down, to clear your mind, to rejoice in perfect stillness, free of the future and the past, fully present and locked in. You can do it. You deserve that.

For me, one of the things I was really thinking about when I wrote stillness is the key was the idea that all the special moments in my life came not when I was doing stuff, but when I was not doing stuff. It was when I was looking at the train window. It was when I was reading a book at my, you know, my kitchen table and my college apartment, Marcus really sort of fell on me like a ton of bricks. It was moments now with my kids or it's moments in a run through a forest when I didn't hear anything but this buzzing sound and I couldn't figure out

what this buzzing sound was and I realized all I could hear were bugs. The bugs were so loud, it sounded like a chain saw. That's how quiet it was where I was. So these are the moments that I think we know our life is about. We've talked before about how easy it is to become a slave to your stuff and how success can take you further from where you want to go. I think we know that what we want in life where we're trying to go is moments of stillness in peace, in tranquility, and reflection, and happiness.

And yet, we make decisions that take us away from that thing. And so when the Stokes are asking if you've had a motionless moment, they're asking, how are you spending your life? Are you getting the one thing that's supposed to make your life worth living? Are you doing what you need to be doing? Are you getting what you deserve? Are you living what can be lived?" As Marcus said, are you experiencing the present moment? The present moment can be all that you need if you so choose. And so these motionless

moments to me are the greatest moments. It's sitting on a porch swing. It's sitting in an airplane cabin when everyone is falling asleep and you're not watching a movie, you're not doing anything. You're just there with yourself. It's moments with the journal in the morning. It's moments with a book. It's a quiet dinner with people you love, or it's a loud dinner with people you love. It doesn't have to literally be still, but it's moments when you've tuned out the inessential, you've focused on what really matters and you're there and happy and present and full. And that is what the Stoics would define joy as.

And that's what the Stoics would say we're doing this work for. Music Hi, I'm David Brown, the host of Wunderree's podcast business wars. And in our new season, Walmart must fight David Brown, the host of Wunderree's podcast business wars. And in our new season, Walmart must fight off target, the new discounter that's both savvy and fashion forward. Listen to business wars on Amazon music or wherever you get your podcasts. Today's entry from the Daily stoic, disintegration.

These things don't go together. You must be a unified human being, either good or bad. You must diligently work either on your own reasoning or on things outside of your control. Take great care with the inside and not what's inside, which is to say, stand with the philosopher or else with the mob. Epic Tidus' discourse is 315. We are all complicated people. We have multiple sides to ourselves, conflicting wants and desires and fears.

The outside world is no less confusing and contradictory. For not careful, all of these forces pushing and pulling will eventually tear us apart. We can't live as both Jechel and Hyde, not for long anyway. We have a choice to stand with the philosopher and focus strenuously on the inside or to behave like a leader of a mob becoming whatever the crowd needs at a given moment. If we do not focus on our internal integration on self-awareness, we risk external disintegration. Obviously, you're listening to me, so you can't see it, but in the book, I have disintegration, the diss in parentheses, one word, but there's the parentheses. And the reason I do that, it's actually something I talk about in an intro,

my first book, Trustman Line. And if you've read Trust Man Line, you've heard of it. It might seem very different than what I talk about here at Daily Stalker. If you see a video of me, and then you contrast it with the somewhat ominous, maybe even evil cover of Trust Man Line, it might seem as difficult to reconcile. And indeed, it is. And I talk about this in the intro of the book. I was, of course, familiar with Stoicism. When I wrote that book, I was, of course, studying Stoic philosophy before I even got into marketing. And I've read Marx's read, many times in those years

that I worked for those controversial clients. Was it hypocrisy? Was I a bad person? I mean, I don't get to say that. But what I think about it, and as I reflected on it when I wrote that book, is that I was not integrated. I had these two different parts of myself that were very not aligned. Does that make sense? Like, it's funny. we use the word disintegration to mean like comes apart, right? But really, what it would mean, this and integrated means not integrated. And that's what I was. I was not integrated. I had these different spheres. I had this part of me that

really liked philosophy that really believed in these ideas and stoses and was trying to apply them in my life. And then I had my actual occupation and day job where I was pulling these marketing stunts and living it. I don't wanna say an unfilisophical life, but certainly not a life fully in accordance with the philosophical ideas. I don't think I was making the world a better place. That's partly why I wrote the book, partly why I changed,

the philosophy helped me get there. But for a long time, these things were compartmentalized. They were not integrated. And so I think that's what what Epictetus is talking about. It says, you must be a unified human being. You can't be these different things. Santa was not a unified human being. He was a brilliant artist and a ruthless power broker. He was a philosopher who also coveted wealth and status and influence. Wanted to be on the inside of things. And that disintegration, some would call hypocrisy. I would just say it was not the integration he needed.

And got closer to that integration as it got older. He ultimately leaves Neuroservice and dedicates the last few years of his life to getting there. And that's where I think a lot of his best work is from. But that lack of integration is a problem for all of us, right? You say you love your spouse, that your family is really important. And then you spend all your time at the office or maybe you're having a affair. Or, you know, you say you care about the environment, but then look at some of your personal decisions, right? You claim to be a good person, but then look at how you treat people who are close to you, right? How hypocrisy is one thing, but I think it's often

that we have trouble just applying what we believe or applying it fully or seeing, in fact, that the way that we're acting, which feels normal or appropriate or necessary given our profession, is actually out of not in accordance with our values or as a Stokes would say, not in accordance with nature, not who we're supposed to be, what we're capable of being. So this integration is the work that we need to do.

Both in studying the philosophy, maybe it's going to therapy, maybe a relationship helps to get there, maybe just long conversations, a lot of self-awareness. I think ultimately, not to reference another one of my books, but it's our busyness, our franticness, our yearning or push for things that keeps us so busy and preoccupied that we don't notice the disintegration. I think that's largely what it was for me. I was just trying to get ahead doing cool things as they came up. I was young, I had a million things going on. I was young, I had a million things going on. I didn't want to let certain people down.

And so that lack of awareness about my disintegration was largely rooted in just not having the time, not having the space to reflect, not having literally a minute to do it. And I think part of the reason we keep ourselves busy is so we don't have to do that. Because when we do it, it's painful and we do it, it demands change. So I'm urging you, I guess, to take a little time to think about whether you're integrated, to think about where you're not a unified person, to think about where you're focusing

on things outside outside your control. Because inevitably it will tear you apart. It does not end well. And it can make you do things that you're ashamed of or embarrassed by or later regret or have trouble explaining all of which are true for me to a certain degree and true for I think anyone as you get older and wiser and better. I'm wishing you much integration and the stillness required to get to that integration and encourage you to do that work. Hey, Prime Members, you can listen to the Daily Stoic Early and Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen early and add free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts.

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