The Daily Stoic - You Prove Stoicism WORKS | Listener Stories (BONUS)

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we bring you a stoic-inspired meditation designed to help you find strength and insight and wisdom into everyday life. Each one of these episodes is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women help you learn from them. to follow in their example, and to start your day off with a little dose of courage and discipline and justice and wisdom. For more, visitdailystoic.com. of the Daily Stoic podcast, or rather a bonus episode of the Daily Stoic podcast. If you listen to this podcast, you hear a lot of me. This is the Daily Stoic podcast, but I am daily Stoic. I'm talking about

Starting point is 00:01:11 the Stoics, but it's my voice most of the time, with the rare exception of on the Sunday episodes, we might have a narrator read something where we're bringing you one of my favorite chapters in a book that I read, and we ask the publisher for the audiobook rights. But it's mostly me. And I've been talking about my journey through and with Stoicism over the years. I'm mostly not about me. I'm talking about Mark Surrealis and Seneca and Epictetus, or I'm talking about great figures from history or riffing on something that happened, or I'm interviewing someone. But again, it's a lot of me and it's a lot of my voice. We decided we'd try something interesting. I wanted to hear from you, from the millions of Daily Stoic listeners all over the world

Starting point is 00:01:51 who've come to Stoicism either before the podcast or through the podcast. In any case, listen to daily stoic and are trying to apply stoicism in their actual life, right? Ancient wisdom in modern life. And what have they learned? How are they applying the ideas? What strategies have they come up with? What is their journey been like? I thought these were fascinating. I'm really excited to bring you one. So thanks to everyone who sent in their audio recordings. If you want to be featured on an episode like this, if you have something you want to say, if you want to share your journey, You can send us an email at podcast atdailystoic.com. This was great.

Starting point is 00:02:31 So thanks to everyone who volunteered who did this first, and I hope you like the new format. Let's get after it. First, we're going to hear from Emily. Hey there. This is Emily Yaskowitz, and this is how stoicism has changed my life. I'll never for,

Starting point is 00:02:55 forget where I was nine years ago when I first read the July 30th entry of the Daily Stoic about Stoic Joy. Ryan wrote, Who cares if someone is bubbly when times are good? What kind of accomplishment is that? I would have fallen off my chair if I hadn't instead, jumped up and cornered the first person I saw. Holy shit, read this, I said to my coworker Chase. He read it and agreed. It was really good. sat back down in a daze. Who cares if someone is bubbly when times are good? What kind of accomplishment is that? Though I couldn't have articulated it at the time, I knew exactly what it meant. I don't have to be at the mercy of external things. I can choose where I get my satisfaction. I don't have to wonder how the day

Starting point is 00:03:48 will go. This was one of many holy shit moments I've had while reading the works of Ryan Holiday and the Stoics, which I was introduced to in Ryan's book, The Obstacle is the Way, in 2016. In that year, I was in more debt than I could manage. I constantly had to phone my parents, ashamed and guilt-ridden, asking yet again for help covering rent. I smoked, I drank, I got angry over minor slights. I spent all my time working but never got ahead. I desperately needed direction.

Starting point is 00:04:20 One day, on my way home from work, drained from another day. of trying to decipher the meaning of life between an onslaught of phone calls at a job I couldn't stand. I was listening to the interview Tim Ferriss has with Ryan at the end of the obstacle is the way, in the audio version. What he said shook me. Ryan was talking about Marcus Aurelius and how, as Emperor of Rome two thousand years ago, he had been the most powerful man in the world. He could have anything and do anything you wanted. And yet, unlike almost every example I've seen of someone with wealth and power, he wasn't concerned with what he could buy or how many women he could sleep with or how popular he was or any of the other multitude

Starting point is 00:05:06 of pleasure traps those with too much time and money ruin themselves in. He was concerned with one thing, how to be a better person, how to control his anxiety and desires, how to do more for people, how to do the right thing. It's one thing to strive to be a better person, It's another to strive to be a better person while also in a position of absolute power. Marcus Aurelius, Ryan said, sought something higher than greatness. He sought goodness. It was his goodness that made him great. Of course, I couldn't fully grasp the implications at the time.

Starting point is 00:05:45 Still, the contours for a different model of success were forming in my mind. Maybe there was nothing inherently good in what I was pursuing. money recognition a nicer car maybe that was the problem the source of my frustration a meaningful life has a purpose beyond itself it has a north star i was learning a destination will never quite reach but should always be reaching four something higher so we don't walk in circles or worse spiral down i immediately devoured literally everything on stoicism though i'm not sure it would have impacted my life as significant significantly had it not been for Ryan Holiday. He contextualized it. He made it accessible. And the Stoics advice was so refreshingly pragmatic. It wasn't the salesy motivational speeches I've

Starting point is 00:06:36 heard my whole life. Marcus Aurelius didn't say stuff like, stay positive and you can do anything you put your mind to. Instead, he said, yeah, things might impede your path, but nothing can impede your will. Or how Epictetus put it, they can take your freedom, they can take your life, but they can't rob you of anything that matters. When I read Ryan's ego is the enemy, things began to click even more. Marcus Aurelius called praise the clacking of tongues. Epictetus said we must be content to look foolish if we wish to improve. And maybe this all sounds like common sense stuff, but for me it wasn't. It was anything but. I always believed that ego was a good thing.

Starting point is 00:07:20 I was taught to stay in the know so you could talk to someone about anything. My whole life, I looked up to people solely because they were rich. When I finally accepted that ego was leading me astray, everything changed. My idea of what was worth pursuing changed. Material things, awards, praise. Without ego, what good were they? When I removed ego from the equation, what I wanted from life became clear. as much time as possible with my wife and my family and a stable job that paid well but left me with

Starting point is 00:07:52 enough energy to think and right. I went from trying to decide on a specific career I'd like to have to thinking about the day-to-day life I wanted to live. I went from thinking about who I wanted to be as a professional to who I wanted to be as a person. After much introspection, I decided my first step was to go back to school. It would take years, a fact that had always deterred me. But now I gladly embraced it because it was my way forward. I was in control. All I had to do was pass one class, then the next. Write one line of code, then the next.

Starting point is 00:08:28 Maybe nothing would change once I had my degree, but that wasn't my concern. That stuff wasn't my concern anymore. I knew I was doing the right thing for the right reasons. Everything else was background noise. Yeah, of course, here and there will be setbacks and obstacles, but I could adjust. I could be patient and I could be happy all the while. I learned that the Stoics called this euthemia, the tranquility that comes from knowing you're on the right path.

Starting point is 00:08:55 Stoic joy, joy you control by doing the right things each day. As Ryan put it, here's how to guarantee you have a good day. Do good things. So has Stoicism changed my life? Yes, of course. But in what way exactly? How does the interest compound

Starting point is 00:09:14 when you apply stoic wisdom each day for more than nine years. Well, in that time, I've married the love of my life, quit smoking, quit drinking, bought a house, earned my degree, mended relationships, paid off more than $50,000 worth of debt, started a newsletter to share the wisdom I learn with others, worked with people I look up to, work in a career that gives me autonomy and freedom, read hundreds and hundreds of books from which the notes I've taken are the seeds for a book of

Starting point is 00:09:47 my own I hope to write, and became a distance runner. This is to say nothing of the spiritual and mental growth I've had. Growth that makes all the external stuff look, rightfully, puny in comparison. The loving outlook I developed for life, for people, has created a joy inside of me that I didn't know was possible. I'm calmer. I'm more confident in who I am and what I stand for. And this has created a ripple effect beyond my life. I'm able to do good for others now because I got my own stuff handled. And if this sounds like a flex, well, it kind of is. But not for myself. No, no, no, not for myself. If anything, this is a flex for my mentor, Ryan Holiday and the ancient Stoics. It was their examples and their teachings that helped me become who I am. I had the

Starting point is 00:10:37 easy job. All I did was follow. They led the way. It's to them who I will forever be grateful for introducing me to Stoicism, the philosophy that changed my life. Something that stuck out at me about Emily's message was when she said, I went from thinking about who I wanted to be as a professional to who I wanted to be as a person. And this is something that Rutger Bregman and I talked about in our episode on moral ambition. And something I would describe that as my own transition with stoicism over time. And something I'm still trying to get better at. It's so easy to measure growth professionally much harder, but much more important to measure it personally. So thanks for sharing your story, Emily.

Starting point is 00:11:27 This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. I was just reading this article about mankeeping. It's basically saying that although women have a wide, network of friends, men tend to rely on their spouses or partners for the entirety of their emotional needs, which isn't healthy or smart. You need a support system. You need friends, you need mentors. I'd argue you also need a therapist, someone you can talk to about your problems, who you can work on yourself with in a safe place where you can be vulnerable, where you can be open, be honest, and you can do the work that you need to do. And that's where today's sponsor comes in. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. They've served

Starting point is 00:12:10 over five million people globally. And it's super convenient. I go to virtual therapy because I don't want to get my car and drive all the way to Austin to find someone because I'm definitely not going to do it in this tiny town I live in. You can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button helping you fit therapy into your very busy life. And you can switch therapists at any time. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise and serve as a great support system for you. Find the one with BetterHelp. And our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash daily stoic pod,

Starting point is 00:12:45 better help.com slash daily stoic pod. We've been hiring for some positions at Daily Stoic lately. And when you have roles you're trying to fill, it can be difficult, right? You want to fill the roles quickly, but you also want to find the right people. So that's really a question. How do you find amazing candidates fast? Well, the answer is just use Indeed. When it comes to hiring, Indeed is all you need.

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Starting point is 00:13:39 Indeed.com slash daily stoic. Just go to Indeed.com slash daily stoic right now to support the show and say you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Deed.com slash daily stoic. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring. Indeed is all you need. And next we have Jeff. I remember the first time I read on the shortness of why. by Seneca. It was a short, quick read near the end, there's a section title on the tranquility of mind. I closed the book at the end of it and thought, that's the most beautiful thing I've ever read. I still believe it to this day. That's about five or six years ago and made years since I've had to rebuild my life, my mindset, my work, I'm a leadership on a

Starting point is 00:14:22 foundation of tranquility through structure, through discipline. Early 2025, I chose the word discipline in my one word challenge. I didn't choose it to optimize productivity. I chose it because I was tired of chasing balance and being stretched between too many priorities. Stoicism has taught me that balance is not the goal, clarity is. It's not how many things we get done. It's what we do that is more important. I'm not a technology guy who works to support financial institutions. I live in a world of systems, deadlines, compliance, risk.

Starting point is 00:14:53 More than that, I live in a world people. And Stoicism gives me a lens to see my role not as a manager of systems, but as a builder of clarity for others and accordingly for myself. But that clarity came structure. I stopped scheduling the necessary meetings. I started showing up with prepared questions instead of reactive judgments. I asked myself what part of me is entering this room. Because of that, I was able to lead ego at the door. It wasn't always that way.

Starting point is 00:15:19 Years ago, somebody told me that I might be the next CEO. My ego inflated like a bullet. I didn't handle it well. That version of me looked for recognition, not responsibility. He chased ambition, not excellence. When things broke personally and professionally, I found myself really not sure who I was. That breakdown turned out to be the transition

Starting point is 00:15:39 from knowing Stelicism to living Stoicism. I started rebuilding. I'm in public, but in silence. I began to lead my family, the same way philosophy, the same philosophy that I brought to work. It's about service over self. As a father, I wanted to model for my children,

Starting point is 00:15:55 the behaviors I wanted to emulate. I want to be able to show them that setbacks are lessons, the failure as a teacher. and the peace is found in preparation, not in panic. I say things like premeditoshuam all along to my sons. We talk about how to respond to life's surprises with virtue instead of emotion. We have that conversation when they're young so they can know no matter how much you prepare, how hard you work. Unexpected things, sometimes bad things are going to happen, and we can prepare now for how to respond.

Starting point is 00:16:26 My kids know that if dad's up before in the sun, he was reading, he journaling, exercising. It's not because I have some meetings I have to get too early. It's because I'm training for life. At work, I get to build systems, real platforms powered by classic scripting, automation, and now even with AI. These systems help others find clarity. You need a little of time back in their day. And I don't build them for credit. I do it because it's what needs to be done, because the pursuit of excellence when done quietly is its own reward. I'm going to stop chasing titles. I stopped expecting the pause. They stopped believing the loudest person in the room is the one with all the answers.

Starting point is 00:17:03 The loudest voice in my life now is the one I listen to in stillness when all those distractions fade. Seneca wrote that life is long if you know how to use it. And I've learned that discipline is how I use it. Each day, in small, often invisible ways, discipline gives me freedom when the freedom and found peace, not in the outcomes, but in my actions. So when anyone is feeling overwhelmed, I'm sure, burned out, disaligned, you don't need to change your life overnight. You just need to start building systems that align with your values. You need to

Starting point is 00:17:34 live the words before you speak them. And you need to remember that tranquility is not found in the world it's forged within. That's where Stoicism has guided me. Jeff, thanks for the message. I love what he said about Stoicism helping you model for your kids. Just the fact that you're talking with your kids about how to respond to life's surprises and obstacles with virtues, not emotion. That's like the whole job, although my kids did throw that in my face the other day. One of them was picking on the other and then the other hit him. And then he said, see, you can't control what happens, only how you respond as if that excuses the provocation that he was doing.

Starting point is 00:18:17 If you guys are looking at how to apply stoicism to parenting, you might like the Daily Dad Society. It's a great group I've gotten a lot out of community for fathers who are looking and thinking about a lot of these same things. So I would love to see you in there. Jeff, thanks for submitting. You can join that at dailydad.com slash society. And then one last one for today's episode. This is from Stephen. Hello, my name is Stephen Logan.

Starting point is 00:18:41 And I saw the Instagram post regarding the Daily Stoic on the podcast request. So I thought I'd there put a submission in just to talk about the impact that the Daily Stoic has had on me. first thing that I wanted to say is thanks to Ryan and the team for an incredible job that you do with the Daily Stoic to have a massive impact on me in my life I think the first thing I would say is how the Daily Stoic is impacting on me

Starting point is 00:19:03 is around I'm currently in Holiday in Cyprus I think just ran a 5k 29 degrees at half seven in the morning I think of what Seneca states around we treat the body rigorously so it will not be disobedient to the mind really resonates

Starting point is 00:19:19 so that I of how we treat our body and look after our bodies helps us to be mentally sharp. I think as well for me, I would not be in the position that I'm in if it weren't for the Daily Stoic in helping me to not just listen, read, but to live. Those teachings, learnings, the people that walked this earth nearly 2,000 years ago helped us to understand ourselves better. I think it's an ever introspective work that we do. on ourselves that never stops.

Starting point is 00:19:53 It's daily habits, routines. I also think of that we have but one all the obligation. Markis or really is talking about what is your vocation. Daily Stoic helps us to understand that we need to be a good person. Understanding it's about doing the right thing, that the rest doesn't really matter, how we help and support others, how we be kind, how we live our values. I think of some of the entries as well from the Daily Stoic

Starting point is 00:20:20 that really resonated with me. No one said it was going to be easy. Good people will do what they find honorable. Do it even what requires hard work. They'll do it even causes, that they'll do it even when they bring danger. Anyone do that they find that base, even if it's wealth, pleasure or power.

Starting point is 00:20:38 Nothing will deter them from what is honorable. Nothing will lure them into what is base, and that's from Seneca. It's also for me about the calmness that the Daily Stoic helps with. that kind of calm and sometimes the chaos. And calm is contagious. I think of what Markerate the Surrealia meditation says,

Starting point is 00:21:00 if then it is not the things you pursue or avoid coming at you, but rather you are the sense that seeking out, at least try to keep your judgment of them steady, that two will remain calm and that you won't be seen chasing or fleeing from them. And as I'm out on holiday spending a lot of time with the children, Daly Stone has helped me to get that balance right and I'm not perfect by any stretch of imagination.

Starting point is 00:21:23 Sometimes I do struggle to switch off. I think the Daily Stoic really grinds me into love those little moments. Enjoy the little things for one day. We may live back and realize that they were big things. So thanks for all that you do with the Daily Stoic. I think the work you do is incredible. For all the very best, take care.

Starting point is 00:21:45 I hope you had a great time in Cyprus. I've never been, but I've very much liked to go. I think you're right. You know, stoicism is work that we never complete, can't achieve perfection, of course. No one after actually becomes a stoic sage, Epictetus would say, but we shouldn't continue to try to approach. We shouldn't try to get better always, nor should we despair just because we're unlikely to ever be perfect. Soicism is this muscle we're working on. We can always get a little bit stronger. And I love to hear that the daily stoic has been that for you. Making the daily stoic has been that for me in some way. So thank you all. for listening and thanks to everyone for sharing their stories and we'll keep doing this talk soon hey it's ryan thank you for listening to the daily stoog podcast i just wanted to say we so appreciate it we love serving you it's amazing to us that over 30 million people have downloaded these episodes in the couple years we've been doing it it's an honor please spread the word tell people about it, and this isn't to sell anything. I just wanted to say, thank you.

Starting point is 00:23:09 Look, ads are annoying. They are to be avoided, if at all possible. I understand as a content creator why they need to exist. That's why I don't begrudge them when they appear on the shows that I listen to. But again, as a person who has to pay a podcast producer and has to pay for equipment and for the studio and the building that the studio is in, it's a lot to keep something like the Daily Stoic going. So if you want to support a show but not listen to ads, well, we have partnered with Supercast to bring you a ad. free version of Daily Stoic. We're calling it Daily Stoic Premium. And with premium, you can listen to every episode of the Daily Stoic podcast completely ad free. No interruptions, just the ideas,

Starting point is 00:23:59 just the messages, just the conversations you came here for. And you can also get early access to episodes before they're available to the public. And we're going to have a bunch of exclusive bonus content and extended interviews in there just for Daily Stoic premium members as Well, if you want to remove distractions, go deeper into Stoicism and support the work we do here. Well, it takes less than a minute to sign up for Daily Stoic Premium, and we are offering a limited time discount of 20% off your first year. Just go to dailystoic.com slash premium to sign up right now or click the link in the show descriptions to make those ads go away.

The Daily Stoic - You Prove Stoicism WORKS | Listener Stories (BONUS)

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