The Dale Jr. Download - First Run Fiasco: Amy vs. The Chairlift

Episode Date: March 19, 2026

Dale and Amy are back with a chaotic, story-packed episode after a busy stretch on the road, featuring a rough morning scramble, a forehead injury that ends with a Peppa Pig band-aid, and some wild kid antics involving scissors and scabs. Plus, the Dirty Shirley drink of the week sparks a hilarious conversation about getting older and how your body starts doing unexpected things. They also recap their family ski trip in Colorado, from first-time skiing and a few big falls (not on the slopes) to fearless kids, chair lift struggles, and a tubing trip that turns into a full-on “ask for the manager” moment. Add in a dentist visit that somehow requires a chaperone, a missed tooth fairy situation, and a fun round of Ask Amy, and you’ve got an episode full of laughs, parenting moments, and plenty of chaos. Check out Dirty Mo Media on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DirtyMoMedia  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I was a massive Matthew Good Band fan. I found, they were Canadian. I found them on Much Music. Speaking of MTV, that was the much music. Much music was the counter to MTV for Canada. And right here we're filming this outside my house in North Carolina here, in front of DEI. That's Dad's Plain. Dad's King Air.

Joey Myers flying it, our pilot today. Did y'all commandeer it? Looks like y'all are running in. We didn't tell anybody. We filmed us jogging. I see some hoodies. Why is it going so fast? Because I was skipping.

Well, I can't describe what's going on, all the fun things. Details are hauling ass through this. This is it. He wants to talk about every single moment, Travis. Yeah, but see, the problem is we can't use this video, so we have to, like, okay. No, we can. We can stay on a little shit, but I don't want to.

Fast forward. I saw another hoodie. Skip, skip, skip, skip. And is it for hoodie? So. What city are you in here? The jogging scene of us on the map. Orleans, Memphis.

There's a green screen at Graceland where you take pictures and they put you in front of Elvis and all this stuff. We filmed the green screen. There we are. There's a, there's a, I can't say it, South Padre Island. Look at us. We're wearing close. It's windy.

It's cold. Yeah. It doesn't look cold. And to his, to my dismay, he is in shorts. We got girls with you? Pick out hookers on the beach. What's wrong with you? It's a music video.

They weren't even that cute. It's just a, it's frame. It's framed, it's staged. This is in Vegas, or this is in Graceland in a hotel. That's in Las Vegas. This is a lot of work. This was a lot of effort for a video. That's a, that's in Las Vegas, hitting golf balls.

Before Top Golf was a thing? Yeah, before Top Golf was a thing. Vegas Hotel. Call on some more hookers. Oh, no, we left him. We need more hookers. Stop it. The following is a production of Dirty Mo Media.

Oh, yeah, this is what it's going to be, girl. If we're going to hang out. Open a bunch of jars. You've got big strong hands. Are you suffering from high crap? I'm working. Working that mouth. Hi, guys, Dale Jr. and I are in the Dirty MoMone Media Studio for another round of

Bless Your Heart. We have a fun show for you today. Nice to see you, by the way. Thanks for coming. Back to Life. Back to North Carolina. He's been on a tour. What?

And he's going to leave again tomorrow. So I get him for like eight hours today. So thanks for coming and hanging out. I went to Nashville, a tire test for the cars tour. And straight from there to Vegas for Chevrolet. And... We got home at like 3 in the morning. Yeah, I got home for me today.

And then I didn't set my alarm. You had to get me up out of bed. So I'd take out of school. I've turned mine off too. And when I was testing at Nashville, is embarrassing. We tested all day from 3 to 7 because of the noise ordinance. They don't let you do anything but 4 or 3 o'clock.

So we get done right around 6.30 and taking my helmet off. My nails were super long because I just get sometimes I get lazy and my nails will be long. I'll start breaking them off, like messing with the race car, climbing in and out and they break the nails and stuff off. And I had these shards of fingernails. Shanks. Shanks. And I scooped a chunk out of my forehead, taking my helmet off, like the last run of the day. And I'm standing there talking to the guys.

Blood running down your face. I'm like, well, you know, I was doing this, doing that. And they were looking at it. And I was like, yeah, I just scratched myself because they're looking at it. And I was like, yeah, I know. I just scratch yourself. I know it's bleeding. You're just that age.

I know. I'm like, God. And then I had to go to do the Chevy thing and get on. stage in front of 3,000 dealers. Yeah, so how'd that go? Well, by that point, it was scabbed over. Did you have anything covering it up? No, it was fine.

It was just a scratch. And then this morning I got in a shower and I rubbed it too hard and it started bleeding again, so I had to put a band-a-old. Yeah, so he comes downstairs and he's got a fetepeppa pig band-aid on his face. I don't give a shit. Are you okay? He's like, well, da-da-da-do-do and he goes through the whole thing. I'm like, and are you going to.

As soon as I start telling this shit with that all day long? Because I, too, was just looking at his forehead, like. As soon as I start telling Amy the story, I can see that, like, she ain't buying the shit. She's, like, looking at me like, but this is a really big stretch to get attention. It is. Yeah. But it was bleeding this morning. And so I'm late because I didn't set my alarm.

Amy come up there and goes, you're going to be able to get up? It's like 7.15. I got to be out the door. It's 7.35-ish. And so I look in the – I get in the shower because I got to come here and do this or else I just skip the shower. and I get out of the shower and my forehead's bleeding I'm like sh**

so I scramble, found some fucking band-aids and I put the band-aids on and I run downstairs will I get a text from Amy on the way to school and she's like dude you're this bombing off in the bathroom

there's bloody napes and the band-aids shrapnel all over the top of his counter and then the box is just strown in the floor I'm like come on man this is the kind of shit and get mad at the kids for doing

and he's got like it's like he was an animal just putting that thing on and it's upside down too the peppa pig baby is it little george is upside down on your face well we're not bleeding in front of everybody no Nicole had a scratch on her face this week and it was after spring break she came home and her sister and her were almost getting scrappy they've been wrestling more anyway so she ends up with scratch right here on the bridge of her nose and a day goes by and she doesn't bother with it And then yesterday evening, and who's the day before, she's in the mirror in the hallway. And I'm like, what are you doing?

She turns around and she has a pair of scissors and she tries to hide it behind her back. And I immediately think, oh, my God, she's going to cut her hair because she's done that once. She didn't like this one little piece. So she just chopped it. I'm like, we're not cutting hair. And she's like, I'm not cutting my hair. I'm like, well, what are you doing with the scissors? She goes, I don't want this anymore.

And she points to this gab on her nose. And I'm like, well, you're going to just try to. cut it off. I was like, you're, you're going to make it way worse. You're about to make your face way worse. Give me the scissors. And she was like, fine. And she hands me the scissors. And I put the scissors away. By the way, the scissors are in a locked cabinet and she got those out. There's no keeping her out of stuff. And so she goes into the, we call it the changing room. It's like the craft room where all the band-aids and stuff are also. So she gets a band-aid and she puts it across her nose right here. And then she sleeps in it like that and goes to

school in it yesterday morning. And when I went to pick her up from school, half the kids in the class and one of the teachers all had band-aids across her nose too. Trendsetter. Just to make her feel better. I swear. Nicole freaking pisses me off, but God almighty, man. She's a stinker, but she's really clever and she's really cute. That's the thing.

She's getting... She's like, when she gets in trouble, the looks on her face and everything kind of distract you from your emotions. And so, I don't know, it's just hard to stay mad at her. Super tough sometimes and super awesome. awesome and that's widening as she's getting older yeah she's getting more easy to reason with but yeah her rationale behind trying to dig the scab out of her face with a pair of scissors freaked me out i'm like girlfriend walking away from the scissors just put them down she is the one though that if you

got a if you got a scratch on your finger or something she she'll see it like i got this little scratch on this finger a couple of the fingers are torn up and she'll see it come over and she'll be she'll look at it and be like, oh. And then she starts picking at it. Yeah, she wants to pull it off. She's like, and you're like, oh, God! Ow! Yeah.

She'll pet you and make you make it. She's like a sour patch kid. Oh, you're okay? And then all of a sudden whip. She does that with her. She's like trimming her little fingernails, you know, and picking and carrying on. She just, I don't know, man. Illa did none of that, none of that.

No. But I did hold her down before Jim yesterday and I ripped that bandaid off her face. Just let her wear the bandaid. I mean, I literally ripped her. it off her face. I had to hold her down one leg over her forehead, one leg over her body. And I pulled it up. Why did it need to come off? Because it's that band-aid right there underneath her eyes, like, you know how since their little skin is? Those band-aids in particular, they stick really hard. And so I was worried that that was going to happen. Isn't that weird? Because that

remember that happened with Ila a couple times? Was it Iler and Nicole? It was Nicole. It was Nicole. And you ripped it off and it ripped her skin off. He went to do the same thing, like, I'm going to do it quickly so that she can't fight me. and it actually gave her a scap. Like, child band-aids should not... Too much adhesive. Do that. They're tough.

They're made to stay on like if they're in the swimming pool and that kind of thing. They're tough. They should never be removing skin. The one you have on is not like that. Don't worry. Pepper the pig will be gentle on you.

Pfeffa pig will jump right off your face. No problem. I wanted a regular, normal adult band-aid. We have those. I didn't have one in the small size. I had a very select... I had a very small bunch of bandages to choose from up there. Yeah, I hear you.

And I was in a hurry, and I was half asleep. Yeah, I mean, all that's true. Yeah. That's all true. So we got the drink of the week. We do. We have a really good-looking drink sponsored by High Rock Vodka, and it's called The Dirty Shirley.

The Dirty Shirley. Dale's very excited about this because it's got whipped cream all over the top. Well, I don't mind whipped cream. All right, so this is two ounces of a high rock vodka. I go into the fridge and get me. a little spoonful just whipped cream

by itself sometimes. You do? Yeah. I'm not shocked by that. Do you have like the ready web? Yes, we do.

We have a little squeeze. Yeah. That's really good. Having a spoonful whipped cream every night and then. You just indulge

in every whim. Like you just give yourself I don't do that. I'm supposed to live. I don't know. One of us one of us caves and one of us

has self control and that's just how it goes. Sorry. Yeah. I don't do that. Well, you're still. young.

You get to my age, you'll be like, you'll be like, fuck it. Fuck it. Give me that whipped cream. I'll eat some whipped cream and I'm on it. All right. So we have two ounces of high rock vodka,

one ounce of grenadine, some lemon lime soda, and four tablespoons of heavy whipping cream or whipped cream. I better not drink too much to that. I'll break out and hides.

Delicious. This is like an adult Shirley Temple basically. The grenadine will give me hives. Really? Yes. He's sensitive. He's a sensitive little bird. I'm sensitive. I'll tell this story.

I don't give a damn. I've never had hives in my life. And I don't have allergies. Like, I am. A mutt. I'm just what I am. And, like, I'm not changing. People get older and the bodies change.

You know, I've not experienced none of this. This was like 2004, 2004, 2006. We were in Florida celebrating True X's Bush Series championship, and we're at the banquet in this resort down there in Florida. And Tofer was with me. Christopher's friend of ours, we used to work here in the shop. He's a real estate guy now. But we're all hanging out.

The banquet's happened. We go to where the party is in his big ballroom, and there's a guy in the corner. with a bar and I walked up and I said make me whatever the hell you want to make it. And he starts pouring to, you know, all this different stuff in this class. You give you a suicide? I don't know. I take it and I drink it.

And there's 20 people in line for drinks, right? Everybody's getting drinks. And I just jumped up there and said, I don't know what I want. I didn't drink like. Can you drink liquor? I wasn't a beer, beer, beer guy like I am to be. I'm straight beer these days. But I drank that thing.

And, you know, 10 minutes later, I'm walking to the bathroom or somewhere. I'm out of the ballroom. And I'm, my ears are warm and I'm feeling a little hot, feeling hot. Feeling pressure, feeling like I,

my heart, I can feel my heart beating my cheeks. And your cheeks? Yes, it's like, that's how it feels. And, like,

you feel, and I walk, and I walked by Tofer and Tofer goes, dude, you're all right? And I was like, I'm right. Yeah.

He's like, you're breaking out in hives. I was like, am I? And I went, look in the bathroom. And my whole, face was red, my neck.

Squashy. Yeah. I've had that. My ears, especially. And I didn't know what the fuck was going on. And so, but I was hot. And so anytime I drink, not every time, but sometimes when I drink mixed drinks. There's certain additives that make him do that.

So Christy, his cousin does the same thing. We think it's Grenadine. Hers is like a, she like had an reaction with a banana something drink when we were in Anguilla. Just recently. Oh, it's so. No, a bachelor's trip forever, yeah. It doesn't happen all the time, but it never happens with beer. And he says if he drinks a beer, it'll kind of go away.

Like, he can dilute it with another drink. If I get a mixed drink, it's like a 50-50 chance that it'll happen. And if it does happen, I can drink a beer and it goes right away. Your body is naturally. My body's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what is this? My body runs on beer. A body runs on beer. Not liquor.

But it all, it happens from like the neck up. You get hot and your whole head feels like it's filling up with pressure. Yeah. And your ears especially get hot and you're like itchy almost. I think it's like the, I think it's a food diet thing, an attitude. Something. No, Ila gets like that too. She's got real fair skin.

She'll tan, not like you, like you're just pale all the time. She'll get brown in the sun, but she gets flushed and splotchy. When you know when she cries. She gets upset. She shows all over her face. It looks like she's had an alert. reaction to something. She's got like red circles here and splashes everywhere.

Yeah. But anyhow, whatever you're mixing in your high rock vodka. If you want to go to high rock vodka.com, you can find a bottle near you. Please remember to drink responsibly. You must be 21 or over. Remember on the website of the high rock website, you can find a low. There's a locator. Use the locator and it'll tell you the closest liquor store to go grab your bottle. No allergic reactions with high rock.

Yeah. And there's some, did it, have they announced? No. We have big things coming, but we can't tell you yet. Big things coming, and that's pun intended. Big things coming from High Rock, which is pretty cool. Yes, next month I believe. Yeah, awesome.

Well, so we went on a ski trip. We did. We went on a really fun ski trip in Winter Park, Colorado. It was the girl's first time skiing, so we did for spring break. And it turned out to be a lot of fun. I was expecting to have fun because I, like had my head wrapped around skiing and everything, even with small kids, like, we're going to have good time.

Dale was apprehensive just because he's nervous. He's always going to get hurt doing something that he doesn't need to be doing. You know, like Brad Kay, just being around the ski slopes. Brad. No, Brad did it walking in a parking lot. He's like, if that could happen to Brad, you know, what's going to happen to me? How did he break his leg walking? It was icy, and he slipped in the ice.

I busted my ass on there. ice too. Yeah, we did fall a little bit or slight a little bit of ice. I fell down on my left knee. Well, you're lucky. I am lucky. My kneecap is not in a million places. That was day three. He as he was heading up towards where we have all the skis just hanging out on the little rack. So it's like, there's like this patch of ice. And he slips and falls into it. And the only person with him is Isla. And she loves it when people fall down, like, loses her mind laughing. Yeah. She's like, she's horse laughing at him as he's like on the ground trying to figure out of his kneecaps broken and he turns around and goes, you know, I'll laugh with you.

But can you make sure I'm okay first? Yeah. He was so mad at her for laughing at him. It was like the third or fourth day. And Ila had never skied before. I had only skied four or five times in my life and it had been six years since I'd skied. So I was a little nervous about it, but it came right back.

And Amy got to ski as well. But I'm really, really proud of Ila because she's learned to ski well enough that we get to go ski together down the greens and a couple of, blues and stuff so I'm super pumped and it's just me and her and she I'm I'm trying to get there's this there's this giant storage container where we keep our skis at night and it's right next to the to the snow it's all very convenient but but there's this little strip of about two foot of of a sheet of frozen ice it is like three inches of water that is solid as a rock and I didn't see it because it's between between

I mean, it's like gravel, you know, gravelish pavement, snow. And Isla is right there. And I'm looking at her, watching her as I'm walking toward her to, like, talking to her. Hey, all right, I got myself here. We're coming. And I put one foot on that ice, went straight down on my knee. And on, and I thought immediately, I was like, I don't have f***ed up. Like, I've really, this is something hurt.

I busted my kneecap. I've done something. It was, I went, every bit of me went down on that ice on the top of my knee. and big tree fall hard so I was thinking for sure I'm hurt and there were so many people walking by and I know not one person was like hey man you're right or not one person you know if you see somebody on the slopes out there you usually kind of ski over and go man y'all good you know you need some help getting up or is everybody okay hell this is on the base at the ground nobody I mean this is 8 o'clock in the morning everybody's just kind of showing up they they

for all the people walk by me. And, uh, I mean, I'm laying there in real, fucking pain. It must not have been as dramatic looking as you felt like it was. You know what I mean? They're looking at me. Well, I guess they could see that you weren't crying. Oh, my God, I was in pain.

It's still sore now. He has a big bruise on his leg. So he did it in my yard. I just starts laughing. And I'm, and I'm like, I'm not going to get mad at that. I get up. I'm just thankful. Like, am I going to get to fucking ski today?

Do I got to go get my knee looked at? So after a few minutes of figuring out, the knee was fine, I said, Ila, I said, I don't mind laughing because that's funny. But check on me first. And then we'll laugh. I'll laugh with you. And she was like, okay, all right. Whatever.

Yeah, she's not going to do that. Hey, this is Dale Jr. And for the latest bless your heart gear, go to shop. Dot dirtymoedia.com. We've got plenty of options for everybody and adding new stuff every day. Go to shop. Dot dirtymomedia.com. We had a damn good time

We had a damn good time The girls did ski school For like two and a half days So we had plenty of time To like ski Especially the first day We went really hard The first day

Oh my God That was so much fun We hopped right on the gondola Went up We skied 16 15 15 miles Here we go again Yes

First trip up The chairlift Chairlift Chairless scare me anyway What? So we skied 16 miles Day one 15 or 16 miles

Right Yeah and that was really Just like The first half of the day Right And I talked about it. TJ brought it up when Brad was on and we questioned the legitimacy.

And so him and Brad's hosting the show here for me. Him and TJ have a little fun. He ski 15 miles. And TJ, I come back here and I'm like, why were y'all talking about us skiing 15 miles and day one? He's like, that doesn't seem like a lot. T. No, no, no.

I said it seemed like a lot. I thought you were. No, T.J said it did. Oh. TJ can't let anybody have And this is the same, Brad? I'm like Brad didn't even make slows.

How are you talking? Exactly. So chairlift, wait, first day, we get on the damn chairlift and go up. I fell off the chairlift. He and I are on there together. It's just the two of us riding along. And I'm 5'3. I'm not super tall.

So, like, chairlift is like an active thing for me. Like, I have to get my mind ride, get ready to jump off, basically. Well, his skis. tapped mine. He didn't do anything wrong. But like his skis tapped mine as he's jumping off. So like it threw me back in the seat a little bit. And so my ass wasn't coming out. And so I rode, I started going this way and I just jumped off. They had to stop it. I'm like, oh my God, this is how it's going to go. This is the tone we've set for me being on skis. It's going to be a disaster. But it was fine after that. But Nicole had a couple of moments like that too at the chairlift. It was scary getting her on and off. Yeah, we skied four days. I ended up skiing 50 miles total. And then we, and the craziest part.

So all the parents will appreciate this. But when we're at the base camp or at the base of the mountain where all the shit is, food and restaurants and all this stuff and the gondola, right in the middle is this really steep. It's a blue. It's not a black, but it's very steep. And you're looking at that all week long.

Yeah, you have to pass by it just to get from one thing to the next. And so you're looking at it just going, God, that looks different. Damn right. And there's all these badass skiers coming down all day long. Shridden all the way down.

And you're like, shoo, man, that guy's good, you know. And you're just watching this hill. And you're like, yep, my ass ain't coming down that. I'm not going to be new in that one. actively avoiding every time you go down and stuff to make sure I don't end up coming out of there. Right. You're looking at the signs, okay, green, green, got it.

Got it. Because I'm a green. I'm not going to. Take the easy. And there's a sign that says, easiest way down the hill. You're like, yep, that's me. Well, they four, Ila, she's following her cousin, Adeline, who's a good skier, roughly the same age.

And Adeline has been teaching Ila for a couple days as they're out of school now. And Adeline, I got to credit her, as an incredible teacher. She's skiing down the mountain, looking back at Ila, telling Ila what to do the entire time. Never looking in front of you skiing. Great little coach. Yeah, great, Seb mate your old little coach. Talking her up too. Like, you got this.

You got this. You got this. You got this. Be positive. They're just turning and turning. They're skiing better than I ski. But all the while, she's literally. got her head turned backwards, skiing down the mountain.

She don't, and Adeline don't give a shit. She'll go down a blue, and as long as Alla don't know it, Ila don't know where. She doesn't need to know. She doesn't know what a green, blue, what that means. So she's just following Adeline. Well, last day, it's 4 o'clock, the lists are closing, and I'm, everybody's literally leaving. And exhausted. There's no one on the slopes.

We're like the last 10 people up there on top of this mountain. And I'm like, we've got to get off this damn thing. and Adela and them are like, let's go down this route. We haven't been down this route. And of course, I'm not going to watch my little I'll go and take, I'm not going to take the green. No, you've got to follow her down.

I'm not going to go the easiest route, right? And so we're skiing, skiing, and skiing. And this runs about a mile long. And, man, I'm getting tired. And they're not stopping. I got to stop every now and then. You like pull over in park just to take a breather? Yeah, because we are,

I mean, every probably three quarter, every quarter to half mile, it's steep on the steep stuff. Okay. Because I'm not a good skier, so I'm working way harder than I should. I got you. And so my legs are burning, my thighs are burning, and I'm watching them girls, and they're going, and they're going. And I'm like, all right, I'm going too. And right, I finally recognize it. Like, we're going down.

It's time. It's happening. The steep end. The steep end of the base, that's where we're headed. We're going down that. And I'm starting to get nervous for Ila. Because I think once Ila sees that cliff, she's going to freak. Yeah.

And then how are we going to get her down the mountain? She did cry the day before realizing that she was on a blue. She found out she was on a blue and she's like, I don't want to be on a blue. And she's like locked up. You know, because we've told her the blues are harder. She threw an epic fit, apparently. Well, she's going down this. And we, we snows over this.

cliff and it's straight down to the base, but her ass still going, following her cousin. She was so focused on following Adela and she didn't realize where she was. Well, she, they stop. They get over on the side halfway down this steep part. They stop. And so I ski over there and I stop. I'm like, I'm like, thank for stop. Thanks for stop and for papal.

I'm glad we stopped. But how are we going to get going again, like getting going again on this shit? It's going to be tough. well we stop and man we're off to the side all these badass skiers are going by at a hundred mile an hour and I was like girls you know eventually they're laying out

they're all they're like they're laying in the damn snow they don't give a shit you know they're just being kids and I'm like girls you know eventually we got to get going there's some skiers coming down here pretty fast we just need to get out of they don't see us they're coming right over the hill yeah we need out of the way I was like, we need to probably start thinking about getting moving. So they stand up, and when they stand up, they start sliding down this hill.

And Kobe is with me, who's married to Amy's sister. And so Kobe's down a little bit further, and he's trying to keep them from just barrel rolling down the hill. And that was really touching go for a second. Because I thought if Ila doesn't do this right, if she doesn't get her skis parallel to the mountain, she's going to end up hauling ass down on her butt and not being able to slow down and I was trying not to tell her that because she'll start crying.

Yeah, she gets overwhelmed with all that information. And I was, but he, you know, we, Kobe did most of the world. I was up the mountain. You're just trying to keep up with the girls. Yeah, I was up about three feet. I've got some sticks and stuff up off the ground and I'm handing that to them. But for the most part, Kobe was the one dam in the, you know,

dammed the water. He's talking about their poles, not actual sticks. Yeah. The polls. The poles. And so anyways, we got them up. And as soon as they popped up, they just go turn back to skiing.

That's what it's like to not have anxiety deal. They just like, you know, live their lives. I was, so, you know, I've been proud of her and I've been proud of our girls and are certainly proud of you. And there's these great feelings that you get inside when things happen that they do. Milestones or different things. That was so cool. watching her go down that thing that I was even nervous being on and doing it without even a thought

and having only learned how to ski a couple days ago. I mean, you know, parents experience those things multiple times in a child's life, but it was just such a cool feeling. It's really fun to watch her not get overwhelmed and just go for it because she does get in her head a lot. So I felt a little bit of that the day before when I went and skied with her.

And I was like, Amy, you got a ski, you got to ski with them. You got to ski with them because I was wanting you to, like, see it and go, oh, my, shit, look at her go. It would be fun to ski with her. Yeah. It would be fun to ski with Nicole is not the same experience. Nicole hates skiing. Nicole wants to be inside.

Nicole doesn't want to ski. She wants to do this. This is not, you know, this is not princess dresses and fake nails. I don't want to do this. Ila likes to do anything Adeline's doing. So I think that had everything to do with her determination. But Nicole and Eva, so there's another little Eva. She's a year older than Nicole.

Even when skiing last year, so she's got a little bit more experience. And so she can use the poles and go down the mountain on her own. She gets tired and worn out too because she's still young. But Nicole didn't sign up for this ski trip. And she was not happy about having to get the boots on. on and do the whole thing. Like, she'll put her gear, like her dress on. Oh, my gosh, yes.

But the boots and all that and the helmet, she's like complaining. Yeah. A whole first day was my helmet doesn't fit right. My helmet hurts. My helmet hurts. My helmet this. I'm like, you wear helmets and hats and stuff like that all the time. You'll go outside and get your bike helmet just to wear it without riding your bike. So what's wrong with the helmet?

Like, is it really the helmet? Or is it the fact that we didn't talk about this enough? And now you're in the cold trying to figure out how to ski and you didn't really want to do this. And everybody's legs hurt. like she just was not into it. So by the time we got to, day two of ski school, she didn't do the first morning. The girls, the big girls went with the coach

and I kept her at the house. And then we went down and kind of met everybody. So like we backed her off of the ski school because she just was a challenge. We got up in the morning. We got up in the morning one time and I took a cold down into the lockers to get our shit on.

And we literally had just gotten there and it's like 8 o'clock in the morning. We get all our boots and shit on, and we come out of the lockers and we're going to the slopes, and Nicole goes, carry me. Yeah, carry me.

Carry me. I'm tired. Meanwhile, we've all got the boots on. Nobody's carried anybody. I'm like, if that damn donut stand was open right there, you'd be jogging to it. Your ass ain't tired.

I ain't buying this shit. Yeah. I was telling her that. I was like, you ain't tired. We just got here. You ain't done nothing. That was the last day. We say back with Eva and Nicole so that the big kids could go ski.

Yeah. And then we met them around lunchtime. She's like, I'm tired. Pick me up. I'm like, you guys have been sitting on the couch all morning. All morning. You have Nicole singing while she skis? Yeah.

So the last day, so when we finally got there on the last day, Dale hooked up with Ila and Kobe and they went off and did their own thing. And so Katie, my sister and I took the two littles and did our own thing on the smaller slopes. and Katie is really petite and I have back problems and so she volunteered to ski with Nicole in between her skis and then Nicole held onto her poles. So like they were kind of skiing together in lockstep the whole way. And she did that all afternoon. And we get to one of the lifts and she's like, Nicole is just singing the whole time. I'm like, what is she singing? She goes, she's singing, I don't want to lose your love tonight.

Nicole says the way down the mountains. It's hilarious. Yeah. So like she had a good time and she is a good time. But those like lead up moments, yeah, it was a lot. That's pretty awesome. She's singing an 80s song. I know.

She wasn't singing like Taylor Swift or something. She's heard on like a princess movie. She's singing some really good music. Katie was like enjoying her radio that she had in between her legs. It was really fun. I take, I went up a couple of ski lists. Nicole when she was pumped and happy. But also, she's so tiny.

That ski lift hits her right in the butt and then you have to grab her because she's just dangling. She's not on the seat. Every time. That happened every time. Every time we get. So there's these parked dudes hanging out at the gondels right. You know, tell you if you get on it wrong or whatever.

Or just to push the stop button. Yeah. Yeah. And every time we got up there with Nicole and got successfully on the lift, the guy would go, good job. Yeah. Way to go, dad. Way to go, mom.

Way to go, Dad. They've seen some shit. He's like, I don't want to hit this button. Yeah. Good job. One of us had her by the back of her closed, yanking her, and the other one had the arm underneath her arm. Because, like, getting her off too, you have to, like, lift her up and scoot her out.

So the place, what's his- Wait. Do you remember? Okay, so there was a slope situation coming off of the lift, the two-person lift. Dale and Nicole are in front of me. I'm in the seat behind. Oh, my gosh. they get to the top

Dale successfully gets off of the lift Nicole does not she falls off and then lays like a mermaid top of the mountain and meanwhile there's a straight cliff

behind her it's just snow but like five foot drop she's going all the way down yeah she didn't go down it no she just laid there so we're getting ready to get off

I got her own and the guy you know at the bottom goes good job and we get to the top and I'm like all right we're getting ready to get off grab a hold of me. She put her arm around mine, and I've got her like this.

She got her arm through here. That was a mistake. He didn't have a hold of her. I'm like, we're going to get up, and we're going to lift, and I'm going to pick you up. And as soon as the thing,

she just lets go. She just pulls her arm out, and she just froze and fell off. Yeah, fell off. Straight fell off. So I ski down this little slope, and I'm like, you know, I'm going to get back up that.

I've got to come out of my skis. I can't ski back up that. heel and I look in the box and the lady that's running the thing she goes, don't worry, I got it, hits the button she puts her shoes on, goes out there, picks up Nicole, sends you down. It takes a minute though because she didn't have her shoes on in the little box

she's just comfortable. My sister's down there taking pictures of Nicole laying on her side and I'm behind from behind just waiting for Nicole just to make one wrong move and tumble down that little mountain. I'm like, this is a disaster. Yeah, it was a disaster. It was fine. It was scary. After that I was like, all right, Nicole, we're going

get down to the bottom of the mountain. We're going to go get some donuts. Screw this. No more skiing for us. So do we have a ski trip? We need to just apprae all day. So do we have a ski trip plan for the future? Yeah, we're going to go every year, I think. Yeah, I'll say Winter Park. Winter Park was fabulous. Great town. A lot of great places

to eat. Great people. I had We were, we went up to this little tubing thing to do some tubing. Oh yeah. So there's a couple of tubing options we went down the road and this it is fast

it is lightning fast I'm just saying like if you go to winter park you have to hit the hit the tubes so we're at the tubing thing and Nicole comes over with a box of candy and it's gummy worms and really chewy sticky

and I got a couple crowns and I grabbed one of those pieces of candy and my crown came off. Oh. Pap ball had a tooth moment. That's not good on the road. That was the other slope. That was like day one.

Well, I was just going to tell the story. You thought it was funny. So we, I'm sitting, I know it when it happens immediately and I was like, and so I text my dentist and I'm like, man, I'm in Colorado, got a couple days. I'll be home Friday night. I was like, you know, What do you want me to do? He's like, don't worry about it.

Just come in. I'll come in Saturday morning. You can do it real quick. Put it back in. No problem. I'm like, all right. He said, I said, if you want to look at a place, you know, if you want to get a dentist there to do it. So I get on the Google Maps and found a dentist right in town.

And I called them. And I was like, hey, I was like, this is what happened. I was like, what do you think? Help me. The lady's like, I see you in the morning, 830. I was like, okay. And so you get up in the morning. morning and I'm like Amy will you go with me the dentist I didn't want to go by myself oh

this so here's the thing about Dale and teeth if something and I get it when something's wrong with his teeth a crown comes off something happens he he like implodes he's like he goes into his little shell and everything sucks until he gets his tooth fixed and so I was very proud of him that he was actually able to figure out a solution and get it done before we got home because then that would have derailed the rest of the trip yeah would have been rough but I'm like 830 I'm like who's going to stay with the kids? Because I knew that the big girls and Katie and Kobe

were probably going to go down to the slopes and they have to leave by then to get down there. I'm like, I don't know if I can do that. I think you'll be fine. It's like literally half a mile down the road. He goes, do you think your dad would go with me? I'm like, you want to take Jeff to the dentist with you?

Because my dad was on the trip with us. And my dad's like, I'll go with you. It's no problem. I'll go. You want me to go with the dentist with you? I was like, this is a new level of needing attention or needing help.

Not needing attention. No, it needs the word. You want Jeff to your security. Yes, I am needy. But it's like I don't like going anywhere by myself. But you get there and you're just sitting in the lobby anyway. It's not like we're holding each other's hand. And once you're back in the room, you're not with them.

Room. No, so he did say there wasn't a room. Everybody's lined up next to each other in this dentist. So we go to the dentist and the ladies in there is super sweet. And we go to the back and the dude, he fixes it right up. They knocked it out of the park. problem quick and easy and we got out of there and then we went and bought some things. Yeah, we went to the bakery and bought some donuts and things.

We had to go shopping and forth. And so, I mean, we had some objectives outside of a dentist and it didn't take that long. It didn't. But the fact that he, as his adult self, still wants someone to go with him to do things like that. Yeah, what would happen if Isla's married and her husband needs to go to the dentist and ask you? Yeah, that's a great question. And her 51-year-old. old husband asks you to go with him.

You know what I'd say? I'd say I get it, man. I'll go. I'll fucking go. Hell yeah. He probably did ask the right person. My dad's an only child and he probably is just as needy. If I thought it would have been awkward, I would have not asked.

No, I know. But Jeff is totally the dude that would go with me. Andy might enjoy having a long time with Dale and just like. Probably. Bond. Yeah. Bond over some. Y'all are making something out.

of nothing. And if that's what you need to do for your show, fine. Damn straight. I'm in the contract business. You are the something. You are, you, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, this isn't made up. I volunteered to, two story. Yeah. My story. Well, it's our story actually. So we go tubing, there's two tubing places and we cram in the second one before we go snowmobiling on our last day there. And it's down the street and it's in this little like, um, hut you go in. And, you go in. and the kid working in there has a hard time getting us all registered. Like it's a process.

So like we're all like a little bit frustrated by the time we get to the tubes. I'll be straight on us. And we didn't have enough time really to do all this before we went to the snowmobiles. When we, so when we left the house, the plan was not to go to be. Because we were snowmilling later that afternoon or that morning. We were snowmilling. None of us could figure out what we really needed and I thought. And we were, we had an eight.

And we were all. So the rest of us did. You did not. Oh. When we were, when we left the house, the plan. was we were going to eat. And by time... We were going to have a leisurely lunch

and then go to the snowmobiles. And I was on my phone all the way riding wherever. You're looking down, not looking up whatsoever. I drive. I drove some of this trip. And so this particular trip

I got to play on my phone, like a lot of people. And so we, I look up and we're at the freaking tubing thing. And I'm like, what are we doing? How did I get here?

And they're like, yeah, we decided to go tubing. You weren't. paying attention. Here we are. And I'm like, just like you weren't paying attention. This whole conversation's happening in the car around you. Like, you were, you didn't have headphones

on. Like you could. I know it wasn't paying attention. I know. I don't, it's a gift to be able to really not pay attention that well. I don't know how to do that. It doesn't sound like you're calling it a gift here. I'm trying to lift you back up so that you don't get really mad at me. I was, I was just saying. Just saying. I was so annoyed that we were too, but I was trying

my hardest. But this slope looks like so much more fun than the other one. He didn't tube on the other one. So we're like, all right, we're going to just go hit this. Because my tooth popped off. But this one was super fast. It was super fun. So we got, we get the tubes.

We finally get our tickets. We get helmeted up, all the things. Dad didn't put a helmet on, which he just refused. Really? No, he did, he had his, he still has his 1995 neon pink stuff from. He had a big ball cap. And so he still wears that stuff when he goes skiing. So he had, you could see where he was going.

because he had a neon pink hat on. He gets his tube. He doesn't hear very well anymore, so he's going to one of the escalator belt things. And he goes to the one in the middle. Well, they had told us when we were in the truck that that middle one wasn't working to go to the one on the right.

It was the only belt working. Well, he didn't pay attention to that, or he just couldn't hear. And so he heads out in front of everybody because he's tired of the kids complaining, having to pull their tubes, blah, blah. Listen, the shit. This is epic.

And he goes all the way to the middle, which is not close. Like, it's pretty far. out there. Way, got to walk way out there. 50, 75 yards out. It's windy. And the other one's even way further.

It's further. So he gets out there and his little card gets him through the little opener and he just stands there because the belt's not moving. But then he just stands there for like 10 minutes. He's standing there. He's pushing buttons. He's stepping on the thing. Like thinking maybe it's censored or something.

Katie's trying to call him. Katie's trying to text him. He's not looking at his phone. It's like not his inclination. He's just like pick that up. And so eventually he gets really pissed off. And you can see him kind of moving his head like he's talking to himself. Goes back through their end marches all the way back to the gate or to the little hut where you have to check in.

It was a lot of work just pulling that thing back and forth. And so Dale. Yeah. I went up down the slope a couple times with Nicole. So I've done my dad duty. I went twice. I wait at the bottom of this hill. Here comes Amy.

I'm like, Amy. I was doing it by myself. I traded off and took Nicole. I'm like, do you want to take Nicole a couple times? I'm good. Yep, great. Okay, so I walk back to the hut, and I come walking over there. And Jeff's leaning up against the hut.

And he looks like he's just waiting on us. And I was like, hey, Jeff, I'm going to go sit in a truck, man. You want to go sit in the truck? Let's just sit in the truck and wait on him. And I thought he'd be like, hell, yeah, let's go sit in the truck. He goes, I'm waiting on the damn manager. I was like, really? He goes, hell, yeah.

I walked over there and that belt's broke. And it's like, I know they told us not to use it to go to the other one. He goes, well, I ain't walking all the way back over there now. I'm waiting on the manager. They're going to give me my money back. I'm not walking way over there to get on that one. That belt's broke. I want my money.

And I'm like, holy shit. It's like one of them things where they're like, hey, man, you're turning into your parents. Oh, yeah. And I was like, this dude's crossed. Yeah, he's crossed the next. He's crossed into the next threshold. of I want to see the manager. Like every other place he goes into,

it's going to be one of those, I need to see the manager. Yeah, service wouldn't go out. Let me talk to the manager. Or it's your supervisor. My sandwich doesn't look like the picture up there. I want to see the manager. You know,

remember in that, what is that movie? I don't know. That's funny. No. The sandwich doesn't look like the picture? Yeah. Where he goes crazy.

It's going to drive me crazy. He's going to look it up for us. Yeah. Trying to help our brain parts. It was amazing, though. And it was scary. I told Dad. Falling down.

So the movie's falling down, and he goes into a fast food joint to get breakfast. And they're like, we're no longer serving breakfast. And he goes, I won't breakfast. And they're like, sir, it's 11.05. Breakfast is over at 11. And he's like, fine. I'll take a number three. And they throw it on the table in front of him.

And he goes, and it's all fucked up. And he's like, this doesn't look like that. He's like this anti-hero that kind of goes through this day, kind of fixing broke shit like that. Yeah. You know what I mean? He's lost his mind, but he's not wrong. It is wild.

Remember when they extended breakfast? Like, they never used to. Like, that was a normal thing. Right? Yeah. By the way, this is my final story for the day. we had another cuss word from Nicole. Bulls!

What'd she say? She had just done a really good job eating dinner. Like, the girl eating dinner is like an Olympic sport, right? You have to like, how many bites, how many numbers of bites? They were always asking. I'm like, just eat. So they smashed dinner. She's got like three tater tots.

That's sweet potato tots, you know, like three of those left on her plate. And I told her if they ate well, then they were going to get some ice cream. and yes I bribed the kids with ice cream and there's no shame in that but she gets close to the end and she looks over at Ila and she goes what the hell just without any reason and I'm like I just look up I'm like wait what what did you just say she goes I mean I was like you know what you said why did you do that like we know we don't talk like that and I'm trying to go through the whole thing just call me like trying to get her to tell me something and Ila didn't even hear it she was like what she said I was like I'm not

I'm not going to repeat it for her. And I was like, no ice cream. You don't get ice cream anymore. And she should get really upset. She's like, no, I'm sorry. I want ice cream. I was like, nope, no ice cream. And so we sat there for a few more minutes.

She has like fighting her just to eat those last three tater tots. And I thought about it. I'm like, I got to punish her somehow for this so that she knows she can't do it. So I tell her she can earn back the ice cream, but she has to do a chore. And she's like, okay. And she kind of lights up. The kid likes to clean. She has her own little vacuum.

She'll help me with trash. She likes to wipe things down. So I Google like chores for kids and they're all like cleaning things like that. I'm like, well, that's not going to work for her. That's going to make her feel validated. Like she can't do any of those chores. So I'm like, I'm going to do something that's going to gross her out. And I told her she had to eat a spoonful of honey to earn the ice cream back because the texture of that makes her want to gag.

Should have did ketchup. Well, next time it might be ketchup. Yeah, because she's missing out. She won't try ketchup. She won't try it. Well, honey is really thick and sticky. So, like, the purpose was to piss her off or make her understand. Believe it or not, this would absolutely piss her off.

I know a lot of people are like, what the hell is this honey? Yeah. Well, I put a good dollop of honey on a tiny little kid's food. You're cool. You made her out of my own. I know. Hear me out. So I put it on there, and I was dying laughing because she's like, this is going to be awesome. She's like, I want some honey. Can I have some honey?

I'm like, no, get out of here. So we're sitting in the kitchen floor. She's like on her knees trying to talk herself into doing this. I was like, just turn it up and just lick it. And she's like, she starts to gag herself. Really? I'm with her. I don't like honey.

You don't? No. Well, Nicole doesn't like condiments or, or, uh, toothpaste is a texture. Any texture of any kind of a. So yeah, this is a bad, she won't put syrup on her pancakes or nothing. Wow. Yes. That's no mustard, no ketchup.

Dry. Everything's dry. Everything's dry. Um, yeah. So she finally like gets the. courage to stick her finger in there and just take a bite and she goes oh this is disgusting I was like you got to eat the whole thing she goes like I don't want it I was like well then you don't get any ice cream she goes I want the ice cream I was like then you have to eat the honey and so I'm like this is

for that cuss word remember this isn't really about the ice cream and so eventually like she takes a lick of it then truly starts to gag like reflect I thought she was going to vomit really I take the spoon from her and she goes I won't do it again I was like the next time it's going to be mayonnaise kid it's like the next time you do this I'm going to give you a spoon I'm going to give us some barbecue sauce next time. What are we going to do? Yeah. I am heartbroken about her. She did it for attention. There was no context. There was no conversation happening. No.

Your heartbroken about our condiment issue? I'm not heartbroken about the condiment issue. We have to keep making her try it. But why does it matter to you if she doesn't like condiments? Yeah, why it doesn't matter to you? Well, A, all right. What is it? It's a sensory issue. It's a sensory issue that it's like a wire cross, you know,

She, it's, kind of like a jewelry phobia. Yeah. Toothpaste, ketchup, syrup, anything like that, she's excluded out of her life, right? And so I just know, like, her sister's over there eating fries and ketchup. Here's the thing, though. We're having to hide the f*** ketchup. We don't have to hide it. Oh, yeah, we have to hide it from Ila.

From Ila. She'll drink the whole thing. Nicole will have ice cream with chocolate syrup all over it. Yes. So there's a loophole. I think it's, I think it's just her. mind. You know what I mean?

That's like I would like, there's certain foods I wouldn't like or desserts and people like ask my parents and they're like, I don't care if he doesn't eat it. That's more for us or like it doesn't. Yeah. Eventually they'll try it. Like if you don't eat condiments, that's. She's not hurting herself. Yeah.

It's not like she's losing some nutritional value. That's true. It's just. If she wasn't eating like protein or stuff that you need like. Yeah, we went through that with Isla. That was hard. So I got this new watch. But it was a really fun torture moment for me.

It was really fun. One more thing about the trip. Well, we had a couple things about the trip we didn't get to. But I got this watch. And I talked about this on the Dale Jr. Download. I have the Bass Pro Shops Club card. I use it to buy everything. And it puts free, it puts money in my account.

You get rewards. Yeah, he's got reward points. Yeah, he's got rewards that I can use at Bass Pro. And so I got this watch. Connor Zillich and Marty Lindley told me about it. And it's just a Garmin. And so I've been wearing it for the last couple weeks. Coincidentally,

we go on a ski trip, so I'm logging my runs. And it does it automatically. It knows when you're on the chairlift. It knows when you're back on the ice or the snow. Super smart. It's very smart. And I wiped out. I was

going down this hill on like day one or two. And my damn legs got tired. and I got tired of turning and I was coming to the steep part that flattened out and went up

went off to the gondola and I'm like well I want to keep up enough speed to sort this flat space to the gondola so screw it I'm gonna just go straight

and I got up to 35 miles an hour and busted my ass I didn't know you fell right there in front of everybody not I mean in front of Kobe Kobe was the only one that was right there down at the bottom no it was a long flat

run to the gondola. And so I was going to try to get as much speed as I could. Like in the mountain somewhere, not down at the bottom. Yes, not at the bottom. Right. And so I crashed at 35 miles an hour, falling on that ice at the base walking, hurt worse. But Kobe also laughed his ass off.

Oh, hell yeah. So everybody's probably wondering if I busted my ass. Yes, a few times. And one time, very spectacularly, at 35 miles an hour. and I lived a tell about it. I did not bust my ass. But I didn't ski as near as much as Dale did. The Garman watch, okay?

I had this thing, and they were telling me, when I got it, Marty and me were talking about things that it does. It tracks your sleep and all this stuff. And I'm thinking, all right, you know, it's kind of encouraging me to be a little more healthier, so that's nice. He said, man, the battery lasts for work. days and days and days.

I was like, that's he's like, you'll see. And he ain't lying. I've charged, I've had this thing for probably two and a half, three weeks, and I've charged it twice. And it charges in minutes. I had an Apple watch.

I don't wear it anymore because you've got to take the suns off every day and put it on the charger. Like, what is the deal? Well, it's probably like what it's doing. really going to try to... Like the Apple Watch is probably connected to your phone. It's pulling

like you're getting text messages. This is doing all that too. Does it get text messages on that? Yeah, thanks. See, this thing does everything the Apple Watch does. It gives you notifications from your phone. Text messages. It's doing your heart rate. Let me see. It's

gathering... Does it track your anxiety? It's gathering information right now. My heart rate, calories burn, steps I'm taking, all that shit. It's doing stuff all the time, way more than my Apple Watch I ever asked it to do, and my Apple Watch couldn't live for a freaking two days. This thing's, what's that all about? Well, according to Chad.

Yeah, what Chad say? Garmin watches last longer than Apple Watches because they are engineered for power efficiency featuring specialized low power displays like memory and pixel, less demanding operating systems. Well, they were background processes. Well, that's Apple Watch's problem right now. But they also give you things that can make it better than the Garmin, depending on what you want. I don't know about that. I mean...

Can you text from the Garmin? Probably, yeah. You can talk to it? We have to know, no. Look, yes, I'm probably sure you can. Are you really going to... Ask Chad that? Wait, Chad?

Well, I miss... I was talking to the guys the other day in text, and I was talking. talking to my phone like, hey guys, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I said, I asked chat about blah, blah, blah, and that's what chat said. And it must, it auto-corrected to Chad. And I said, all right, I'm never calling chat. It's always Chad from now. I'm never calling chat chat anymore.

Now it's Chad from here on out. Because that's way better. I feel you should call it Chet. No, Chad. Like some weird. Because Chad, because the AI is so imperfect. Chad is the perfect name. Yeah.

Sorry, Chad's in the world. But if you know, if your name's Chad, you already know that. I don't know Chad. Chad's know their brads and chads. Brad's and chads. Chad's. Chad's know the thing about their name. They're typically like lax bros and probably work in finance.

Like they wear little vests that, you know. You're good at explaining this. Travis, Travis knows about Chad's. Yeah. Man. So that's what we're calling chat now from now. Chad. So when we say, hey man, you talk to Chad, I talk to Chad about it and he said this. It's hilarious. Considering yours actually has like a real personality and a dude's voice,

but it's very fitting. But my voice don't sound like a Chad. I'm going to change it. No, it doesn't sound like. You're just kind of sexy, actually. The voice in my car for my phone is an Australian accent. Now I'm jealous of this AI voice. Golly. It's a sexy voice. You chose it for yourself.

Chad. Chad. Chad. What a f***. Hey, Chad. Hey, Dale. That's good. What do you need today, honey?

Some dentistry. Yeah, I'll go with you to the dentist. Oh, Jesus. All right. Let's do some ass gamey. You don't want to talk about the tooth fairy flub? No. I forgot to do the tooth fairy thing again.

She's gotten so used to it. She wasn't even upset. She's gotten used to being disappointed. Yeah, she's like, She didn't show love. Like, maybe she'll come later. So you talk about my anxiety all the time. Whenever that happens, like when you forget to do the tooth fairy or if you come, if you text me and you're like, I forgot to do the elves.

I get this sense of like, um. He's gratified. I'm gratified. He feels better about himself. Yeah. When I fuck, he feels better about himself. I'm gratified. Not because she messed up, because she's got anxiety.

And I'm like, now she knows that it feels. That's so evil. That's not evil Kind of I mean it is He fixes the elves But he ain't damn He has never

Volunteered to be the tooth fairy Well damn I mean it's happened four times It's not like something It's not like this thing that goes 30 days in a row It's hard Amy forgot to do the tooth fairy this week The kid lost the tooth As soon as we got home from spring break

It's this whole She pulled it out in the middle of the day So like we have to hold onto the tooth in the baggie all day long And she goes to put it in there And her tooth fairy is come in the middle of the day sometimes when she's in the pool or whatever because, you know. Truth fairy is working nonstop. The tooth fairy just has to be there when you're not there.

Well, she puts it under her pillow and gets up for school and the tooth fairy didn't come again. And I wake up, it's like 5.30 in the morning. I look over and I hit Dale in the chest. I was like, I forgot to do the tooth fairy again. And I go, hey. She has anxiety like me. She has a moment of anxiety that I have all day, you know. So I go get my little tooth fairy coins

and I have them in my pocket and I can hear them jingling so I'm like trying to hold them just in case I can sneak in there while she's brushing her teeth or something. Tooth fairy didn't come to that afternoon but she wasn't even upset about it because she's had that happen so many times

and I feel like her tooth fairy in her mind her tooth fairy is like this retired. Chill. She's not really a tooth fairy more just kind of comes out of retirement every now. She's like a yoga camp or maybe she's just sitting at the spoken cigs.

She's just not on a schedule. She's doing it when she's doing it. Her name is like a yoga. Marge maybe. Yeah. That's what... Her name's... In my mind,

that's what the Tooth Fairy now has the persona of. I think Alla feels about it. I was... I got up that morning and was downstairs and I was getting ready for school and she goes,

Dad, the Tooth Fairy didn't come this morning. And she just said it like, yeah, you know, kind of... It kind of happens. She used to cry about it. Now she's just like, that damn tooth fairy's a lazy ass... You know, maybe you have to wait till tomorrow.

They don't always come every time. And I'm like, I felt so guilty and I'm trying not to let it show on my face because she wants to keep talking about it. Yeah, it's a thing. Sorry, guys, we are rambling,

but we're back in the studio for another round of, bless your heart, and ask Amy. What are your questions this week? So we're going to play a game of screw Mary Kill. Oh. I think these three you're going to really enjoy. Trading cards, video games, eye racing. Screw me.

This is weird. So which one has to go away permanently, which one can be periodically, and which one can stay forever? Stay forever. Screw me. This sucks. Dale, you have to answer it when you're done when she's done.

I'm going to screw irising. I'm going to marry the baseball cards and I'm going to kill the video games. Wow. Irising in video games are the same thing. The baseball cards are quiet. They're worth money.

There's some currency there. And I don't know. Irracing seems like the fun fast thing, and the video games is something TJ controls, which is controlling free time, so like, I get rid of that. All right. I like that.

Yeah. I would marry I racing, screw video games, and kill baseball cards. Wow. See? Not even closely aligned here. I guess because the training cards are, like, new, so it's easy to... Yeah, I can't... Eye racing is in my DNA.

Yeah, that's who you are. And video games sort of is, too. Yeah. I like it. And the card stuff, I think, is fleeting. It makes sense. Our next question. Is it okay to wear sunglasses in the airport? I say yes.

Yes. I think it's all right to wear sunglasses at any moment, any time of day. So I like to wear my sunglasses, too, if I don't want people, I don't want to make eye contact with everybody in the airport. I feel like that's okay. Unless they're like super dark. Like, I don't know. That gets a little weird. Especially like there's a lot of sunlight. There's a lot of sunlight in the airports.

There's a lot of glass. Chances are you might be hung over, you might be having some drinks. And you just need that little hug around your face. Yeah. I wear my sunglasses sometimes in the plane. Like it's bright. Yeah. Yeah.

I think it's fine to wear sunglasses any time of day, anywhere. I used to not. Now, you know, back in the day that, you know, the song, I wear my sunglasses at night. I mean, in my 20s, if someone wore sunglasses at night, it was like, what the hell? Why is that? You know, what's not necessary. But when you turn 50, you're like, F-F. I feel like that happens when you turn about 40.

Maybe it does. Maybe it happens at 40. The f-it's just come right on in. You just don't give shit. Speaking of, speaking of. Now we have to acknowledge. Dale's got a boo-vous on space. I scratched myself taking my helmet off while I was testing in tires at Nashville because of my, my-

He has some shanks on his. Shanky freaking fingernails. I'm bad at not getting them. keeping them trimmed and nice. And then I got there testing driving race cars. And when I drive race cars, I chip and break and tear up my nails. And just working and fiddling.

Like, do you never really pick at them? No, just getting out of the car and stuff. Working on the car. Working on the car. You bang them on things and crack them. And, I mean,

my knuckles get all busted up and stuff. Well, that's actually a perfect segue to this next question. This lady wants to know how often is it okay to go get a manny-petti because her husband thinks she goes too much. Her husband thinks she goes too much,

but her nails, like, she looks nice. They go get a manny and pedicure. Like, how often, like, do you think is a good number for? I mean, I go about every two weeks, and that's only because they grow out and you kind of need to do that. But I feel like if you have the time,

I mean, you could go every week. Yeah. There's nothing. It's not like... I'm surprised you've used it that way. Yeah. Like, I view you going, doing that as like... It's self-care.

Yeah, you're taking... It's necessary. That's going to make you have. Yeah. Like I'm going to get a happier version of you when you get back. Please go take care of yourself so that you come back in a better mood. Dale, have you ever had a man ear petty before? Yeah.

He's had pedicures, never a manicure. Oh, I don't know what that is. The manicure is on your fingers. Oh, yeah. I could do manicure. I don't think I would ever want someone touch my toes. Really? I didn't like that.

So he didn't love it either. And I talked him into it. Maybe Tim did. Tim Dugger likes to get a pedicure. and so he was in town forever ago and we all went together as a like a fun outing on one of my big toes I got

on one of my big toes the nail is kind of sensitive on one at one side because and it's got this kind of potential to be like an inground if I don't keep it trimmed up and it's sensitive and the the lady was like

digging in there the son of a bitch and I'm like not feeling good. He starts person's lips that are like, I'm going to kick you in the face. I don't like this. Supposed to feel good, I thought. Supposed to not. Well, they help you take care of your nails too.

So if you go all the time, they would probably trim it back. You just have to talk to her, you know, tell her like, hey, this one's a little sensitive. She's just trying to clean it up. Especially if you only go once in your whole life. There's probably some stuff on me there to dig out. I got manned nails and they are all imperfect. He's had it. It's not his thing.

Yeah. But here's the thing. unless you're like at the beach something, men's toes just should not be seen to the public. His toes are bad. No, but they shouldn't be good or not. Guy's toes, I think, should be covered unless you're like at the beach or pool or something.

You don't, guys shouldn't be wearing flip-flops on a Tuesday. It is kind of an odd thing to see a man's feet during regular hours. Yeah, you shouldn't. Really? Yeah. You see him when you get into the bed.

Like, even if you've got your, like, lounge clothes on at home, you have socks on your feet. Sure. That's true, Travis. Well, I'm at home. I don't have socks on. You don't? But you're by yourself.

Yeah. But like I have shoes that cover my toes. Do you get your toes done? No. I don't think I would ever let someone touch my toes and work on. Well, I've been to like a podiatrist before, but that's, I feel like an anger on time. That's probably where he needs to head with that toe with his, the podiatrist. My toe is fine.

What else do you have, Travis? What are some things that you can only get in Texas that you miss from time to time? It's the food. I miss the homemade tortillas, the Mexican food. Like, everywhere you go has, like, a bean and cheese burrito or taco. And that's what I grew up eating. That's the damn truth. Like, the places that look like a hole and wall, like, you know, but they're like the best.

Oh, they have the best food. When we go to the, when we went to our skiing trip. Well, I'll just say this. When to hang out with Amy's family, there's a 75% chance that when we go eat, it's going to be Mexican. and like I grew up where you going to a Mexican restaurant was like a special occasion or you know, oh man, we're going to go Mexican tonight. You know, but with them it's like... It's what you eat.

It's like going... It's the first choice. It's my favorite. It's the opposite. It's the first choice. So if there's a Mexican restaurant in town, they're like, well, that's where we're going. Yeah. Of course that's where we're going.

Yeah. The tacheria was right down the street. That's where we ate. Yeah. I know. It's different. And there's homemade and it's so good. So it's so different than...

I'm eating... I'm eating a lot of Mexican these days. I get tortillas when I go home and freeze them and bring them back. And you can tell a difference. Yes. It's very different. But that's why I miss the most is the food. The barbecue's also very good.

The Texas food is just special. I mean, of course I miss my family and the people with the food. Yeah. But I didn't know if there's any other, like, things other than food. Any specifics? Kalachis. Does anybody do know what a Kalachi is? So, like, there's a lot of German.

in central Texas and they make these like yeast rolls with sausages or ham and cheese and stuff like that and it's a breakfast item. So like even the donut shops also have poloshies and they're so good. Yeah, you brought some home and those are fantastic. They're freaking awesome. Yeah. Yeah. No around here makes those. It's like a big ass pig in the blanket. It's like a, yeah, it's like a hot pocket, but like the bread is sweet and fresh and it's so, and you can keep them for a while and freeze them and cook them. So sometimes I do that. But yeah, there's always a special little. food items. Yeah. What is something you refuse to do or learn how to do? An example is the person put they don't know how to mow and they're not mowing. Like that's their husband and that's what they do.

They're not doing that. Yeah. So that's a good choice. If you don't want to ever have to do something or refuse to learn. I refuse to try to do my taxes. Same. Well, yeah. I'm sure that would be a hot damn mess. Well, I know people that do do them on their own and it's scary. Okay. So like as a race car driver, if you're making money in all these different states. You have to file taxes in all these different places. But I know there are people that do it. And I couldn't imagine. I'd be so scared and nervous that I f*** up and the IRS is going to show up all my doorstep.

I didn't mean to. I didn't mean it. I'm just not good at this. Oh, man. I have a family friend that does mine. I don't, I've never done my tax. That makes me nervous. That's good.

That's the smart thing. I don't think I'll ever try to learn how to ride a motorcycle. I have tried to ride the scooters in Key West. not for me. I don't have any business being in charge of a motor with two wheels. I can balance a bike and ride a bike just fine. But I feel like a motorcycle is one of those things. It's like it's a little too scary and I'm just going to wreck myself. Yeah. I don't know. Skydiving? Hell no. Well, you're not going to learn. But would you go skydiving though? No. Absolutely not. I would go to like now. I would leave and go skydiving right now. I'd never done before, but I would.

No. I couldn't. I don't think I'd be able to push myself out. Yeah. I would do it, but I'd have to get my work wrap my brain. I need a little, I couldn't walk out this door and just go get on the plane and go do it. Well, half the people that go up have to get pushed out. Their instructor pushes the door, pushes them out. Well, you're usually on a tandem. Like someone's, you're strapped to the person. Yeah.

So you're going. Yeah, you're going whether you want to or not. Even when you get up there, you sign the waiver on the ground that says, I'm going to push you out that door. Are you okay with that? And you check the box. So you don't really have a choice. Yeah.

That would freak me out. I probably would have a heart attack on the way down. I'd be like, out. Like one thing like, this is. I probably, especially some of our fans would hate this. Like, I don't know how to change a tire, change oil. And I'm not learning. I don't know how to change oil.

Dale definitely does. I learned how to change my tires, rotate my tires by my dad in high school. He made me do that one day. I was going to, it was Friday night. I'm a cheerleader. I have a white uniform on. And I'm headed to the football stadium for the game. And it is getting to be crunch time.

Like, I'm almost going to be late. And he's like, hey, girl, it's time to learn how to change your tire. I'm like, dad, it is not the time to learn how to change. into my tire. He's like, yeah. Because he's worked shift work. He's got certain blocks of time. He's like, no, we're going to do this right now. And so I had to learn how to do that in my cheerleading uniform on a Friday night, and I was late to the football game. It's kind of a turn-on. And I will never forget how to change a damn tire, that's for sure. Yeah. That's a turn-on.

Yeah. Is it turning on more that I didn't get any grease on my outfit? I mean, it doesn't matter. Just you and a cheerleader uniform changing the tire. I don't know. It just gives me a feeling. Okay. Good to know. Good to know. What? If I want some attention, I now know how to get it. Yeah. Well, that in the shirt, the one shirt.

Okay. Do we have any more questions, Travis? When Dale starts revealing all of our secrets. Speaking of cheerling, are you a basketball fan at all? Do you root for Kentucky still? Yeah. I cheered for Kentucky for my first year. Yeah. And got to cheer for the basketball games. so that was so fun.

I don't pay as much as attention as I should, but when it comes to March Madness and the tournament and everything, I always kind of chime in and see what they're doing. I pull for them a little bit. Fastball team was badass when I was there. Toby Smith was the coach then. So good. They were good.

They're still good. I mean, Kentucky's still pretty solid. They're good, but they're not. Not like they were. I mean, Tubby won national championship. Yeah, they were really good. It was fun. Yeah, the tournament's cranking up.

Yep, Turner's cranking it up. When does that start? I want to do a bracket. We should do a bracket. So we actually have a bracket and I left it open and I've noticed some people must have just searched DirtyMil Media because there's like some random people that joined our bracket pool. So I'll send you the link so she can do it. You got to do it quick like in the next couple hours. The first game is at 1215.

Oh shit. You got an hour. Okay. Well, y'all are going to have to help me then. That'll be fun. Yeah. I want in. You make some bets too if you want.

Yeah. Oh, I'm betting. I like to do all this for money. Let's play. Well, the bracket is just for fun. but the... What? You have a...

You have a Fanduil app. Yeah, yeah. I could do it on my Fandle app. All right, well, that's all we got for today. We can... So we can get Amy to get her bracket and get that stuff done in time. It sounds like I got some work to do. Thank you guys for your questions.

Hope you listen to the show. It was a lot of fun. We rambled forever about our ski trips. So enjoy that. And if you haven't already, hit the subscribe button. And also don't forget to check out all of the merch at shop. Dot dirtymoedia.com. Anything new on that?

With the merch? Nothing new. Nothing new. But then we also have got a little other promotion here that Dale might want. It's on the screen here, Dale, if you look up. Oh, shit. Not on the paper? Nope. Oh, we do.

So time is running out to purchase your raffle tickets for this year's vacation at Dale Jr.'s package. It's the lake house on Lake Norman. A package. Your package. The 2026 package. Not Dale Jr.'s package. You're going to get a six-night stay. at our family lake house in North Carolina on Lake Norman.

You'll get VIP pit passes and tickets to the Charlotte race that weekend and so much more. So the raffle ends March 31st at 1159 p.m. Eastern, and the winner will be drawn on the 8th of April. So the raffle is going to end very soon. And April 8th is the drawing for the winner. More information to purchase these tickets is on the Dale Jr. Foundation.org website. So it's a great way to support the Dale Jr. Foundation. We have, we've supported through the foundation over 300 different charities and nonprofits.

We're working in everyone's community, including our own. So any of this money that you buy these raffle tickets with goes directly toward that. And hopefully, yeah, you'll support the foundation and someone will win six nights. That's awesome. At the lakehouse. Yep. And it's a nice place. It's got a swim pool, all that fun stuff.

So you'll have a great time. Right here in Moresville. Check out Dirtymo Media on Instagram, Facebook, X, and TikTok.