The Dale Jr. Download - Leave It to Dale to Pack This for His Cruise…

Episode Date: February 26, 2026

Why did Dale decide to bring an Xbox on a cruise ship - and how did Amy react when she found out? Dale details how he turns grocery pick-up into an in-store experience, and why he's so selective about his grapes. They also relive past childhood meals, recounting what else they grew up eating and how they try to instill good eating habits with their girls. Plus, why is Amy not allowed to go on a fun trip once Dale's already left for one?  In #Ask Amy, they discuss what events they dread experiencing with their kids one day, and what fashion trend they've regretted adopting.  Check out Dirty Mo Media on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DirtyMoMedia  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The following is a production of Dirty Mo Media. Oh, yeah, this is the way it's going to be, girl. We're going to hang out. Open a bunch of jars. You've got big strong hands. Are you suffering from Highcraft? I'm working. Working that mouth.

All right, guys. Thank you for joining us. We're here in Dirty Moe Media Studios. Dale Jr. and I for another episode of Bless Your Heart. And we got some fun stuff to talk about today. One thing I think we needed to start with because we missed this with our cruise conversation is your medical device. Well, yep.

So Dale always travels with like this little crossbody or smaller backpack. Not a medical device. His iPad will fit in it, which is huge. So it's like not super small, but it's not a full-size backpack. We're getting ready for the cruise and he's got this giant orange and black backpack. And it looks to be full and it's like two days before we're even leaving. So he's like fully prepared his carry-on more than he typically does. This goes back to the, this goes back to, so me and T.J. are in this college football dynasty on Xbox,

and we needed to be able to like log in just to do a couple things. And so I bought this miniature Xbox that would fit in my bag. You bought it for this cruise? Oh my God, that makes it even worse. So anyway, he's got this backpack. He's got the passports. He's got all the things in there. So I'm like, okay, Dale's in charge of all the important things.

We're going through customs after we just get parked and everything. We're going through the customs line. It's like the airport. You have to go through the scanner and all the things. Your bag goes down the line. And we all get our stuff back and his backpack gets flagged. And I'm like, oh, great. Well, it was the Xbox.

But the guy at the terminal was like, excuse me, sir, do you have a medical device? And I just looked at him like shaking my head. Like you pack this illegal box in here that's not supposed to come on. They're very strict about like any extra electronics or anything because they don't want to be shutting out the boat. Somebody brought an air fryer. Yes. They thought that was going to get to go through. Yes.

So like on the way out, TJ got some wires confiscated. So we had to go pick up TJ's wires when we were leaving the cruise. And we saw the table full of shit that people were going to. and try to bring on the boat. Somebody thought they were actually going to carry their air friar into their room. Yeah. Air fry food. Just cooking up their own meals in their room.

All inclusive. Food's cooked for you. I'm going to do some cooking myself. And they brought an air friar. I just wanted it to bring an Xbox. Come on. So he bought a brand new travel size Xbox just so T. T.J. could advance the league. Me and T.J. had the TV off the wall in this little cat in this.

We're in the, we're in the room. They went back to the room to rest. No. And we were at Biffity Boppy Boo. They went back to their room. They were supposed to be going to the pirate bar. They went back to the room. And we had to come back to get their dresses for something for the tea.

And I'm like, you are busted. They were sitting there. His face gets as red as it possibly could because he didn't expect me to come back and see him playing video games. I was like, T.J. Amy has a sense that we're playing Xbox and she's only, she's not, hey, bring me the dress. She's like, I'm coming back to the room. You're busted. Get the dress because she knew we were in there playing Xbox and she's like, I'm going to catch them. And I did.

I was like, you two. There will be consequences and repercussions. You guys are just criminals. Like, why can't you just give this up for a damn weekend? I was in that week for one year. And I couldn't keep up with them. We had to take the TV off the wall. It's embarrassing.

And it's one of those TVs that's not supposed to come off the wall. They're like, they have it fastened. So in such a way it's not coming up. Because you're on a boat and it's not supposed to wiggle. Enjoy the TV how it is. Yeah. We got it. They didn't fool us.

We got it. Did you put it back, though? Oh, you saw it. It was on the wall when you walked in there. I mean, not like, I know it was back on the wall, but was it tight? Yeah. Now I'm nervous. We're going to get a bill for a damn boat TV.

No, it's fine. Anyway, they can't quit. We missed that. And the medical device thing and T.J. hissing over here because T. T.J. was the one that teed this whole thing up, but he didn't want to bring it and get in trouble. TJ's like, hey, man. With his wife in the middle of the Disney terminal.

He's like, hey, buy an Xbox S. It's a little one. And I'm like, cool, I buy an Xbox S. And because I had an Xbox that I was taking around on the fifth wheel and stuff. And it's big and it's tough to get in it out from under the bed and all that stuff. So I'm like, I'll just buy this S and now I'll have this travel one for whatever, wherever I want to go. So, I mean, I bought it for a long, you know, more than just a cruise. But it was, it fit right in my.

Why do we have to take it on vacation? That's the whole point. Yeah, it fit right in my backpack. I mean, it was like it was meant to be. It's a sickness. It's an addiction and a sickness. It is. If you can't even go on vacation without taking video games, then are you actually on vacation?

No. Well, there were 30 other people in the league that were like, hey, are we going to advance? It's late. Why aren't we advancing today? It's supposed to be happening today. Because y'all are on vacation. We told them that. And they were like, you're holding up 30 of us for your vacation?

Y'all are all, you all have a problem. They were like, yeah, this is a very, you don't hold up the league for anybody else's I am certain there are not 30 other people chirping. They were. I'm sure. No. I was in this Discord for the one year I was there. I can promise you.

Like I had a user game the one year and I was legitimately sick. Like on the couch, fetal position. I'm like, I'm not going to be able to play the game and the guys on Discord like, hey, Travis is sick. Can we just like force advance? And they were like, they had to take a vote on what to do with my game and like. That's aggressive, right? Yes.

I feel like that's like 30. You get 30 TJs. There were 30 people going, you don't hold the week, you don't hold the advance for us when we're on vacation. TJ, why are you getting preferable? So TJ set the tone for how this plays out.

TJ's very strict. T.J. should have given ownership of the league up to someone else for the week. He would never. He would never do that considering he might not get it back. It's like. Anyhow, the funny part of this story, if anybody has forgotten by now, the late, yeah, I had the Xbox

in the bag and the guy's like is this a medical device? And I'm like, come on man, you're 24 years old. You know an Xbox when you see one. He thought it was a defibrillator or something like that. I was like insulted because I'm like 51. I think you deserved it. It was great for a moment for me.

Considering your gray beard and in the size of your backpack, he was like, there's surely not a video game in here. It's got to be a medical device. He was wrong. He was wrong. Yeah. and it wasn't the kids.

What are we drinking, Ralph? All right, the drink of the week is, let's see here. Is it called the Orange Crush? It's in parentheses. The Orange Crush. It's an oldie but a goodie, one of our favorites. In the Orange Crush, you have two ounces of High Rock vodka, one ounce of triple sec,

two to three ounces of fresh squeezed orange juice, one to two ounces of lemon, lime soda, crushed ice, and an orange wedge if you want to garnish. A fancy screwdriver. Yeah, it's a fancy screwdriver. It's a little fizzy. That's what it should be called. Fancy screwdriver.

Fancy screwdriver. Well, there you go. It's delicious. If you want to find High Rock near you, visit Hirockbado.com and use store locator to see where you can find it in your area. And also remember, you must be 21 years or over. Drink responsibly. Travis, what are you drinking? The same thing.

Ooh, fancy. I told Morgan's like, if you have extra, like, don't waste it. You don't have any ice? Yeah, no ice in it, but it's good enough for me. Yeah. So I get up yesterday, I get up a couple days ago, a couple days ago. Amy's always cooking breakfast for the girls in the morning. So basically most time it's pancakes, eggs, bacon, that kind of stuff.

Get up the other morning and I come downstairs and on the counter is cinnamon toast. It was like a Saturday. It was not like a school morning. So Amy doesn't know this. Maybe I said something about it. But in the 80s, when I live with Dad on the lakehouse with Teresa Nym, we, Teresa didn't let us have a lot of sugar. We had Popeye cereal that was in a bag,

and it's just puffed wheat, no sugar or nothing. It was just puffed wheat in a bag. and I would pour equal and stuff like that those little sugar packs and stuff all over it was better than plain puffed wheat but I would have full gone cereal all together if that was there were any

there was no junk food period in the house no snacks crackers no nothing at least that's my memory of it I'm sure it wasn't as rigid as is it is it is in my memory. I'm sure it wasn't. But we got,

we would get resourceful. And. What do you mean? I made, I would make my, still in sugar packets at the dinner. No, I wouldn't. I would,

so we did have cinnamon, right? We did have ingredients for other, you know, things. Yeah. And I would make myself cinnamon toast almost

multiple times a week. Like in the middle of the day. When she wasn't at home? No, she might be there. I don't remember. It wasn't that rigid. But I made myself cinnamon toast all the time. Kelly showed me how to do it.

And so at 12, 13, 14 years old, you know, I put a little butter, a little, I didn't use much cinnamon as you, but because a little bit goes a long way. It does. But, yeah, I walked in there and looked at that, and I was like, oh, my God, I have eaten that so many times in my life. And that was just funny. Well, the girls had never eaten it before. And since it was Saturday, and I didn't really want to, like, bake something and take that amount of time.

I decided to make cinnamon toasts. And it was, I ate that a lot growing up, too. I ate a piece of it. It's good. That sent me back in my memory bank into my feelings. Yeah, it's your feeling. My God. It's a good nostalgic food.

It's quite easy. We had a lot of junk growing up. We always had, like, all the good sugar cereals, gushers and all that junk in the cabinet. We ate terribly. We had. So, again, we didn't have. you know, we had to get creative and resourceful with our snacking. And Teresa used to have all of these Weight Watcher meals.

And there was like a, there was pizza that was kind of on a roll. And God, I can't remember the name of it. But it was kind of. I don't always eat those too. It was like a half of a hoagie bread. Yeah, it was like half of a hoagie bun pizza. Yeah. It gave you like legal bite vibes.

Lean cuisine? Maybe? Yeah, maybe. I don't think, I don't know. You would, I would recognize the name if I saw it, but this is from the freaking late 80s, early, you know, this is a long, weight watchers, maybe. Yeah, maybe. It was shaped like a boat. Yeah.

Dude, I would, and I ate these. I mean, that was, they were great. They tasted good. Yeah. I know. She would buy all that food for. for herself for the most part. But yeah, that's it look like a French bread.

The Weight Watchers, French bread pizza. I ate, I bet you I ate thousands of those things. In between all the pop pies? Yeah. Oh, man. We had chicken pot pie, and that was, it was just the standard.

The Swanson's one. Yeah, we eat the same thing. We're all eating these frozen foods in the 80s, like all of us. I'm sorry for anybody out there. that disagrees with this, but the chicken pot pie was my worst enemy. He was his arch nemesis because he got fed that so often

and it had peas in it which he despised. So like now the whole dinner is brewing because it had four peas in it. I have a hard time knowing whether I told this story during our we did like 20 hours interviews for the Earnhardt Dock so I may be told that story there.

I don't want to retell it if I've told it here but one time Teresa made me a chicken pot pie for dinner and I was I mean it just was I was grossed out by the it had no flavor no salt it just was not fun to eat

and I didn't want to eat it and I was so mad and I this is dumb but I chewed that thing up and spit it back into the plate and then made throw up noises you did not So in trying to...

Was she sitting in the room? No, she was not in the room. Godly. I was, I thought that I, this is how stupid I was. I thought that I could convince her that I had ate it and then puked it back up onto the plates. That's disgusting. She was going to come in there and go, And save you.

I'm so sorry that I fed you that. Oh my God. You threw up. I feel terrible. Bless your heart. Yes. And she was like, you fool? I can tell.

Like, it's not splattered anywhere. it's not that chewed up. You already did the hard part. You did the chew. Like you tasted anyways. Just swall was desperate. Desperate to end the run of chicken poppies. I was desperate to end this run.

All he needed was that buffalo sauce finger to skirt some buffalo and it changed his whole life. That's another story. Yeah, that's disgusting, by the way. But I was going to say, talking about getting resourceful. So Kelly turned me on to this and this was a lot of fun. And I've, you know, it's one of those. things that I've tried to recreate and it's not good. It's terrible. But we would cut lemons in half and she'd get half and I'd get half and we'd go sit in a living room on the couch

with a salt shaker. And we would dump salt on top of the lemon and then eat it. And then suck on it. Yeah, suck on and eat it and squeeze it and drink the juice. I mean, I've tried to, I remember doing that and being like, this is awesome. Do you eat grapefruit? with like sugar or salt on it, that's another thing. Sugar. Like I would add sugar on to it. That's another. Great fruits are so good.

Teresa turned us on to cutting grape fruits and half. Getting past the bitterness of the grapefruit was hard at first, but after a while, we put sugar on it. Yeah. We put sugar on top of the grapefruit and, you know, scoop out the individual little parts. The sections. And the other thing that Teresa cooked us that I'll never forget, this was awesome. She had these little egg holders. and she hard boiled them, but they were still soft yokey in the middle.

Yeah. And she chipped the top off and cut it off and slice it off and cut us. That's very fancy. Made some toast and cut it in little strips. You dip it. Dipping in there. I was like, and that only happened once. I was like, this is amazing.

They must have gone on a trip somewhere and she saw that. She's like, I'm going to do that when I go home. Oh, man. It was a best, that's the best breakfast. I remember having dad and Teresa's house on the lake. But it only happened. That only neat little thing happened once. It's like, never, no more?

It's probably complicated. Chicken pie tonight. Soft boiling eggs. It's sitting the top. Yep, we're going to have chicken up pie. I don't like runny eggs either. You and I eat so differently. It's bizarre.

Like, we are completely opposite. Mm-mm. I don't like runny scrambled eggs. Like, I ain't eating an egg yolk. But I like egg yolk. Soft like that. Mm-mm. The dip the...

Because it's not even hot. Okay. That's why I don't like it, because the texture is like a little thick and it's not even hot. Yeah. Do you do overmage? medium eggs? No.

It's got to be... Well done. A little running. I want eggs to be rubber. Yeah. Same thing with steaks. Like, cook it well done, please. What other cereals do the girls eat?

They have bluey cereal. Dill brings them bluey cereal. So here's the thing. I don't really buy them cereal that often. We have a couple boxes. Usually it's just like a basic cheerio, but like the organic ones that don't have all the junk in it. So I'm somewhat like Teresa in that regard because I just don't want them

eating junk like that every day because that's what they want. So Dale goes to the grocery store And if he goes There's always like some random junk That he brings home On one trip it was bluey cereal And of course I see that blue And I'm like oh crap

Why did you buy that? He goes no no no no no no it doesn't have dye in it Look it's got What was it? I don't know What's the word? It starts with an S Sugar?

Spirulina I don't know He tried to tell me what spirulina was What that is Well it's got blue spirulina in it I'm like, okay, that's safe. So there was, yeah. I don't know what that is.

It could be if they died of you. I don't know exactly what it is either, but I know it's safe and healthy. Like people put blue spirulina in like a smoothie, so it's good for you. Yeah, the blue cereal doesn't have any of the, at least it says on the box, it doesn't have any of the guys. And it's just like a puff ball. Every time he goes to the grocery store, he brings some junk food. That's a fact. Like you can't send the man to the grocery store because even if you send him just to do the pickup, he goes in,

in shops afterwards. You did that this last week. The thing is, though they know the placement. They put the stuff right past. Like, it's impossible to walk past and not grab something. Amy. I don't even see it anymore. Amy doesn't like to go into the store.

She wants to order it, pick it up at the curb. It's the best thing that happened in 2020. And I like to go in the store. So I, she's like, hey, man, I got to order. Can you go pick it up? I'm like, great. I go up there. I park.

I do the stuff on the phone. The texting back and forth with the store. They bring it out. And this kid, a little 18-year-old kid. He's like, who's this order for? I said, Amy, he was all right. He said, put it in the truck. I'm like, yep, put it in the truck.

I open the door. I help him. You know, we're putting this. I shut the door. I back out of the pickup parking spot into a regular spot and then get out and I go inside and I get me a cart and I'm walking around. And because I looked at Amy's order and I'm like, yep, not, didn't get any, you know, this. I didn't get any grapes. Yep.

And it's because there's a reason. He doesn't like anybody else picking his grapes out. That's fair. That is a hundred percent fair. Which is like, you know, a man stirring his drink or making him a cocktail. It kind of falls in line with that. That's not the same. No, the grapes have to be a certain.

Crunchy. Crunchiness. Yeah, so, like, I have a very big disclaimer in my order thing. I don't need them. If they were to get grapes, they have to make sure they're crunchy. I'd rather just not. I'm not, I'd rather not leave a little note on my order, crunchy grapes only.

I'd rather just go in there and look for myself instead of, like, the people in the store are probably going, you believe this chick? Crunchy grapes only. Who do these people think they are? No, I have like a pretty typical shopper. It's not the people in the store. There are people that don't work in the store that help shop. Because I'd be worried that.

They're just going to look at the top ones. Now, you get like, look at the bottom and see if they've been sitting in their soggy or whatnot. You got a really inspecting grapes. I go in there and I'm walking around and I've got my grapes and I'm getting some soft drinks and this and another and I've got my cart half full and halfway through the store. Who do I run into? 18-year-old dude who brought my grocery guy. And he's like. What are you doing in here?

He's like, it was almost like... He was having deja vu and he didn't really know what to do that. No, no, no. He was looking at me like, I'm not sure you're allowed to do this. I'm not sure you're allowed to do that and this. I'm not sure you're allowed to pick up and shop. Why are you doing it that way? He was just so confused.

You should have just looked straight at and said my wife doesn't get what I like. I'm like, yeah, one day you're going to learn, pal. Or act like you've never seen before. You should have been like, oh, hey, nice to see you. Hell no. I'm like, yes, sir. I'm here. I'm missing with your mind.

You could have just called him some random name like we did the Formula One guy. You could say, hey, David, what's going on? Yeah. We should just do that. You should do that in Key West. They'd sit in the window of some bar and just chirp, hey, pal, hey, David, Mike! Oh my God, Mike! We get so bored in Key West, and I'm getting ready to take a guy's trip.

A buddy of mine is retiring, a friend of ours, and so we're going to go down there and have a little fun. one of, with the old group, the original, you know, boys group. Sonny and Sean, David and Brad and all them. And so, but we, I mean, for 10 years ago, we would, we'd go down there for three, four days and raise hail. And about day and a half, two days in, we're sitting at this taco stand and you basically face the street. And across the street is one of the most popular bars, Captain Tony's. There's people walking in and out of there all the time. And we would holler at somebody across the street and call them whatever name we thought they looked like.

Yeah, they'd read them and then give them a name. And we would holler their, Bill! Hey, Bill! And they would turn and look like, what? And we'd be like, oh, damn, you know, you look just like my old buddy, Bill. I thought that was, Bill, you know. We thought that shit. And you're laughing.

They would do it constantly. Like, there wasn't. Like they just did it once to one person. It lasted for hours. We would sit there for hours to do it. I would get so annoyed because I don't, like, he's always like, let's just go down to Key West and just chill and hang out and be invisible. Like, you don't even know how to do that. There's, even when you do have the opportunity, you got to do things like that to bring attention to yourself.

There's a bar. That's fun, though. There's a bar, and right next to the bar in sort of a town squareish area, there's this old boat. And it's just a short 20 foot, 25 foot fishing vessel that's. It's just been laying there for 80 years. I mean, it's old. And people, and we sit on the rail at this bar right next to the sidewalk, drinking beer, and people walk by. And every now and then we'll see, like, a couple or something, and we'll stop them and tell them a completely made-up story about the boat.

My God. And it's so much fun. Especially because you know that they're going to tell that story to somebody. They're going to share. Oh, my God. We just think about, you know, we're sitting there while we're drinking, thinking about how. we're crafting our story, right? How this wild story.

It's got to be believable, but it's got to be. And then we lay it on somebody and see how it lands. It's a lot of fun. Yeah. Do you do things like that when you travel? I don't feel like that's something that you would do. I like messing with people. I would have, I'd sign up for making up fake stories and doing that.

I like messing with people. Yeah. Yeah, it's his favorite thing on the planet. It's harmless fun. No one's getting hurt. No, no one's getting hurt. Listen, the dumbest things entertain guys when they're drinking and hanging out. And we go to bars and you're sitting there. And at some point in a con,

if you're, you know, some of these bars are kind of small. And you get in there and then another group just like yours, you know, comes in. And before long, you know, your buddy's talking to one of them and, oh, where y'all from? We're here. And so we y'all. always, we would sometimes, like, come up with fake jobs that we all had. Like Brad, you know, my friend Brad, he's, he's a movie producer.

Or my friend Brad works. Did anyone actually believe that? My friend Brad works construction, building high rises. You know, just, we would just come up with silly things. And I don't know why. That was just entertaining for us to mess with people, to tell people. Did that actually work for you, considering you have your face on? We weren't trying to make it do anything.

People recognized you every time we said anyway. No, I didn't tell people that I was somebody else. It wasn't just your friends. It was just my friends. I don't know why we had fun doing that. Just because you got away with it. Yeah. There was no end game or agenda.

It was just kind of fun messing with people. Yeah, we were just entertaining. Yeah, girls don't do stuff like that. Like we talk to people. I mean, I'm not saying girls don't lie about what they do or who they are or where they're from. but for the most part, we're just like not messing with other people to get our jollies, you know? What did you say? You stick to your group and talk.

I can't hear you. You stick to your group and talk to people or you don't talk to others. Just. No, not really. So I'm going on a girls trip that weekend to try and get out of the house. And Dale's like, wait a second. You're going to go on a girl's trip when I'm on a guy's trip. Where are you going to go?

I'm like, probably just to the beach house. He goes, okay, because that's a rule. Like you can't go do something. more fun than I'm doing if I'm on a guy's trip. Does that feel fair? No. No. They're like, no, no, no.

I can't be wanting to be where you are. You should have chose a better location. I know. Like, that's on you, Dale. If you think that, like, Amy's picked a better spot that that's on you to. No, no, no, no. This only works if you follow the perfect timeline. So, what?

I was only trying to tell Amy that while I'm on my trip, I'm going to be missing you, going to be wishing I was with you. And she knows that. I'm going to call her after the first day, hung over going, God, I want to, where are you at? I wish I was where you are. And so. That does happen every time we go somewhere.

And so I plan this trip with my buddies. And she's, and so I'm like, yeah, man, it's awesome. Can't wait. We're going to have so much fun. And then she says, hey, I'm thinking about taking my friend to the beach house that weekend. You all right with that? And I'm like, wait a minute now, you can't be going somewhere where I want to be. You can't, now you got me, like, not as excited about my trip and wishing that I was

where you were. That's a pho-o issue. I mean, that's feel like a personal problem. It's half true. Like, I, of course, want to be where you are. But I just was trying to compliment her. In his mind, I was going to be at home up to my elbows and taking care of kids and cooking and cleaning the house and all my duties.

And that was fine as long as he got to go have fun. And I was doing all the chores. But now that I get to go have fun too, he's like, well, damn. No, I'm not going excited about my trip. I'm not as excited about heckling everybody and hanging out with my friends because you're going to be having fun. We'll be fine. I'm glad you're going to go do something. Yeah, it'll be fine.

I just didn't know if that was like a relationship rule that anybody else had. If I go on a guy's trip and I have a plan, you can't go have more fun or even equal fun. I'm just messing. No, you're not. That's exactly how you really feel. It is not. They wanted to come out of your mouth. I was trying to make it sound like, darn, honey, I'm going to miss you.

Hmm. Yeah. Because you know, after the first day drinking in Key West, I'm going to call you next morning and go, man, I wish I was laying in a bed. I know, but why does it matter where I'm at? Huh? Why does it matter where I'm out? Because our bed is comfortable. And when I'm hung over, cuddling up with you is the best medicine.

I don't know how you feel about when you're hungover. No, it's not. Okay. This is getting out of hand. So I took Dale to get a head massage. And it's not what you're thinking. There's a place in town that does a head massage on your actual head. Travis looks straight at me like, oh.

Dale talked. I knew exactly where, like, he talked about how excited it was for this. So it was okay. It wasn't, I don't know. I had respect for the head massagers out there. We had a good time. We had a good time. It's great.

I feel like it's more of a thing you just go by, do by yourself, not like a couple's. It's not like a date. So. Because you don't go in together, like a couple's massage. Yeah. So me and Amy had this little thing that you got,

you buy like a, um, a knick-knack store. And it's these, it's this little thing you put on your head and it's got all these little wires. Little prongs. Metal prongs.

Metal prongs. And it just kind of, you just kind of move it around. It feels like a, it feels like a, 40 fingernails just you know, it feels to have your head scratched.

It's like the greatest feeling ever. Yeah. And, you know, you just want to start kicking your leg like a dog. And so, I thought that that was kind of what was going to happen at the head massage.

But they literally just wash your head for 45 minutes. Yeah, it's like a head spa. Like a long wash. Yeah, they analyze your scalp. They, you know,

wash your hair. There's nothing wrong with that. I need. All types of hair treatment. and scalp treatments. I need a thorough cleansing. But what do you, like, it seems useless. Sorry?

I feel like, for me, it's more like a one-and-done time of thing. He said it feels useless. Said he seems useless. Well, I don't know. I guess if you're a girl and you use a bunch of dry shampoo and different products on your hair, like your scalp might get to where it needs a good proper cleansing. Yeah, for a girl, but for a guy, I don't think it. Not really, no.

What are we getting done? I wanted it to be like, hey, you know, like, When I lay down on Amy's lap on the couch in the living room and she's watching TV. And every now and then she's, you know, when she's not watching her phone or TV, she starts scratching my head with a hand. And I'm like, man, this is good. That's what I thought it was kind of going to be like. But they just washed my hair for 45 minutes. They washed it.

Yeah. They washed it. And if you can hear all the soap, they've got so much soap in your hair. you could like, it almost sounded like you're stirring up a bowl of mayonnaise. You know what I mean? Like that weird sound that you're so big. So they obviously put gloves on. Yeah.

And so they're washing your hair with gloves on. And that was weird. Did they have gloves on? Yes. I didn't notice that part. Well, I thought about it. I'm like, man, I wonder if they wear gloves. Yep, feels like she's got gloves on.

So you're not relaxed at all. You're just sitting there analyzing her fingertips. She's definitely got gloves on. And so. Goodness. Yeah. It was, imagine, like, trying to wash a dog with gloves on, right? Or anything, like, washing your own hair with gloves on.

Yeah. It's just to be tough, right? Yeah. And I don't know about, it's an ick for me? It feels like an ick, yeah. No, but why are they wearing gloves? Well, dude, I mean, they wash a lot of people's hair. I don't.

Hair dressers don't, like, if they would wash people's hair before cutting it, aren't wearing gloves. not wearing clothes. Yeah, that's a good point. And it's full of soap and water. Your hands are... Maybe they're just wearing gloves to protect their own hands from cracking open from having wet for so long.

So I imagine putting the gloves on probably a good thing for them. And they do use a lot of oils and all kinds of things. So there's a ton of chemicals and stuff. And they probably just don't want that. I don't know what that would do to your hands doing it all day, every day. It was. It was. And if I had gone by myself, I probably would have enjoyed it.

But I'm laying there going, okay, I wonder if Dale's enjoying this because he's in a different room. That was weird. So, listen, if your wife or girlfriend says, out of the blue, do you want a massage? And you say yes, you automatically assume that you're going together for a couple's massage. And so I never, I don't even ask the question. I don't even ask questions. We get there and the ladies are like, okay, Amy, ready to take you back. Dale, you're going over here. And I was like, Bye. Amy's like, yes. I was like, no, I don't want to do. Now I don't want to do this, you know.

That's funny. So I'm like, okay, all right, by myself. And. Listen, we've got to have some fun new experiences. But they do have a couple's area, but they didn't put us in there. They do? That's what you told me. They said they had a place where both of us could go.

I didn't know that. Oh, I thought you said that. I thought that they would have. but no, I don't. I guess they don't. Look, I would absolutely go back and do it again. Maybe there's different types of treatments and stuff. There are.

There's a whole list. That's the other things. It's hard to pick something to do. It was clean, nice. The service, the ladies, everybody in there, incredibly nice, incredible. I want to make sure, you know, they don't think we're talking. So, because it was really good.

But just wasn't what we expected. Just was different than I thought it was going to be. Yeah. That's it. That's it. Yeah. And so when they do the little water rainbow thing that goes over your head, that tickles a lot. Didn't tickle me much.

So I get real ticklish behind my ears, like on my neck, and it trickles down your neck. It's very tickly. What's this table manners? Table manners. Table manners refers to you. Table manners on the note. I'm sure this is about me. We went to dinner last night to celebrate Kennedy's graduation from cosmetology school.

And we have this banquet room and all. the families around, everybody orders their food, and plates are coming out, and we cut the girls' food up first and let them start eating. And as soon as Dale's food gets there, he two decides, I'm just going to start eating. Nope. Then take one bite. Yes, well, you were playing with your food, cutting it up. Just like everybody else is just sitting there waiting, except for Wyatt, who's also a kid. LW is eating, taking bites. Did you see that? It's not good Table manors, you're supposed to wait for everyone to get their food. In an environment like that where it's like a formal dinner, you're supposed to wait.

Sitting there cutting up your food is... Cutting up your food's fine? You're already starting. You're already messing with your plate. You're not supposed to mess with it. Then why'd they bring it out? Well, because they have to... There's 21 people, so they bring the place out.

I mean, it's not like he had to wait very long. No. I don't see any problem with trying to cut up your chicken. on top of your salad while other people's food's still coming. I don't know. I can understand like waiting to take the bite before, you know, wait to start eating while other people's food's still coming out. I get that.

But I wasn't going to eat it. We had goat cheese. I was cutting that up and then I was kind of cut up the chicken and get it ready to go. I think that he just refuses to have good. manners, especially when it is around his family. It's like a rebellion thing. I think I intentionally have bad manners around my family? Kelly's up talking, you know, she's talking about her daughter, doing the whole thing,

and he can't stand it like he's not paying attention. He's looking at his phone. He's looking elsewhere. And it appears like he's talking to me because I'm like, Dale pay attention, turn around, and she can see that. And I'm like, can you please just behave yourself? Put your phone down. What are you doing?

What are you doing on your phone? are you trading stocks over there? Like, what are you doing? Do you trading stocks? I'm like, no, I'm checking, make a bet. How the hell am a parlay hit last night? There's an exception. You can be on your phone for bets.

You got an end or checking bets. I hit a big parley last night. Yes, sir. Yeah, he was trying to get me to hit the button. I was like, I'm not going to be responsible for this. I told Amy, I was like, hey, do you want to, I feed it up. I'm like, you want to, you want to hit the button, send this one in? She goes, no, I ain't getting, I can get involved in that.

I feel that rush. It hit. It landed. If we were at dinner with my family, he had to sat there because he was with his family. He's like, I ain't have no minors. His whole mentality of his role as a person is different. You ain't wrong. Why can't you just be good?

Because with my family, I can get away with stuff. But why do you want to? Why do you not just want to be good in front of your own kids for the sake of all of the, you know, you're the one of the eldest people in the day in the room? You're correct in your description of how I act in presence of my own. family versus in presence of you. I feel like you do it for attention. In front of yours, I'm polite. I'm trying to make sure I'm not rocking the boat or creating any waves. And I just try to stay out of the way and just be kind and helpful. It's just your mentality. On the way there, also in the truck, the entire way there, he's razzing the girls. They were talking about

where we were going for dinner. Oh my God. That was so fun. And he kept calling it all these random other ridiculous names, really making both of the girls frustrated. To one point, I'm like, I had kept buying into this. He's messing with. with you and then they started playing along but at first they were getting especially Nicole she's like no dad that's not what is called what was happening so the name of the restaurant is epic it is it's one if not the best place to eat in moorsville downtown morseville epic chop house steakhouse um it's really really good and they're great people they're they do a good job we're thrilled because man you know the town before epic came

in, the town needed a bit of kicking the butt. And that was one of the few things that came along that really began this revival for the downtown. And so now there's all kinds of great businesses down there to enjoy. And that was one of the first ones. So we go to Epic quite often. And the girls like it. They know what Epic is. They're excited when we're going to go to Epic.

They want to talk about it. and so I was doing a little word play instead and they're like we're going to epic and I'm like are you sure that's the name of the place and they're like yeah epic and I'm like are you sure it's not man yeah I'll have another

or are you sure it's not nah that was pretty good are you sure the name of it's not that's not as good as Amy's and they're like no it's called epic and I'm like I don't know I think it's called pretty decent but and they were just

pretty funny yeah it was funny it is funny But he gets in these, like, kid-like, playful, I got to pick on everybody moods when he is going to be around his family. And I was, I told him before we got in the parking lot, get it out in the car now. Don't you go in here with this attitude and make your sister mad picking on her just to get a rise out of her. Like, get it out before we get out. You know what I mean?

I like to mess with people. Yeah, well, sometimes. I want to laugh. It's funny. Sometimes people are like, enough. I want to laugh. I'm having a good run here over the past couple of weeks. What are you talking about?

Of being in a good mood. Good mood, dude. And I want to hang on to it. Let's not lose it. No, I don't want to lose it. Sometimes you're more funny when you're in a bad mood. Well, I don't like being in the bad mood. I'm suffering, Amy.

While you're laughing and having a good time. You are not suffering in any facet of life, right? While you're laughing and enjoying it, I'm suffering inside. And now, and here over the last. That is insane. You're not suffering. Yeah. If I'm in a bad mood,

usually you've caused your bad mood. I know, but I go through these like swells of, you know, not depressed, but just down, nothing to look forward to, not excited about nothing,

just struggling to kind of get the ball rolling in the morning. Yeah. And then I come out of that and I'll have a good run of great days, great, you know, choosing joy, everything's great,

happy to be alive. Boy, you know, we're going to seize the day, all in a great, great frame of mind. and it comes and it goes and it always has my whole life and so like when I'm riding the high I want to ride it

I want to take advantage of it I'm gonna ride that party wave I come in the come in the kitchen in the morning and just smile and stare at Amy and she's like what? He just does you know I'm like Amy he just will stand there not very close but like from afar across the room and his presence gets my attention and I'll turn and look at him and he's just staring at me

oddly staring, not saying a word. What's wrong with that? It just makes you feel a little off. I'm doing it because I know it makes her feel weird. He's always done that. It's just like an intense stare. And she'll go, what is what? And I'm like, honey, I'm happy to be alive.

Another than a great day. This is going to be awesome. We're going to kick some ass today. I'm like, pick up some food, start slinging some breakfast. It's like, we're doing things. I love it, man. Yeah, well, I'm not bored. I've said that before too.

You're not boring. I am not. Hey, y'all, Dale and I are in the Dirty Mo Media Studios for another round of bless your heart. And we've had a fun show. We're excited for your questions. What do you have, Travis? So this first question, Dale answered it on Tuesday. You've mentioned it a couple times already today.

So if you could shoot five liquids or sauces out of your fingers, what would they be, Amy? This is like the most random thought ever. Dale and I've discussed his answers. I still don't understand what he needs all them oils for. To fill the cars. I mean. I said, well, three of my fingers, I'd have diesel, regular, diesel gasoline, and then crude oil, because those things would be valuable.

And I could also. And water for the power washer. Yeah, power wash, one finger that's a power washer, and then one that's buffalo sauce. I mean, it's, I probably wouldn't go with anything functional like that, especially if you're going to have all the oils, why do I need them? I would have some water, probably like wine. High Rock, some tequila. Like, this is my drink dispenser, right?

I can't imagine I would want to shoot anything liquid out of my hands and use it as a tool. You know what I mean? Sure. Maybe some champagne? Some champagne? Yeah. Yeah. Like all drinks.

I still think you need, like, one, like, ranch, one condiment. A ranch? Yeah. No, I don't eat ranch. And he's got the buffalo sauce. I don't eat ranch. You don't eat ranch either? No.

I used to put ranch on my pizza. Yeah. Going back to like things we ate as kids. Yeah, all drinks for me. All right. So this one actually kind of goes off as Beth wants to know, is there a weird food combination that you like? Weird food combination that I like. It's like growing up.

What's weird? I would mix cottage cheese and applesauce. An apple sauce? Yeah. And it was delicious. God, the texture of that is odd. That is gross. I mean, I've seen people eat like pineapple and cottage cheese.

So it must be like a good sweet combo. Cottage cheese is anything. It's the texture that's off pudding, but it doesn't actually taste that bad in and it melts. You eat cottage cheese more than anything now because I put it in my eggs. I've started doing that too. Yeah, it's good. I don't know. I've always been pretty basic with my food combos, I feel like, but I did eat a couple of peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches when I was young.

Peanut butter and mayonnaise? Yeah. What about with peanut butter banana? I feel like that's a totally amazing combo. Yeah, yeah, that's a normal one. Yeah. I've eaten that. Yeah.

What made you do peanut butter and mayonnaise? I don't know why that happened. That is strange. That feels like an accident, but it happened more than once. My nana made me those. Yeah. I don't know. I used to have pizza and ranch dressing.

I mean, mine was the banana mayonnaise. I'll never understand that. They made those when we were kids and I didn't think it was a weird thing. But when I told the world about it on social media, learned that it was quite the strange. It's definitely a North Carolina thing. Yeah. It wouldn't be so weird if the bread was toasted, but it's never toasted.

Why don't it's just like so squishy? Toasted then? It can be toasted. There's no rules. There's no rules here. Next question here comes from Carol. Is there a milestone event for your kids that you're already dreading? You've honestly, I, the thought of them moving out of the house is something I've dread.

Like them going away to college and not having. I feel like it's going to be the other way around. Like they're not going to want to move out of the house. We're going to be like, hey, get out of here. Mom and dad's ready to hit the road. They're going to be fine, hit the road. We'll stay there. I feel like they're going to want to go away to college or something,

and then we're going to follow them. Like, we're going to get an apartment and just. No, don't do that. Why? No way. No, you got to let them have the space. Do I? So that's the thing.

I'm going to want to be a helicopter mom. Unless they like, let's say they are like six or seven hours away. then I think you can have an apartment so when you do go visit like you can but if you're nearby you gotta give them space yeah no if not if I'm nearby

so like I went from Texas to Kentucky yeah yeah and so nobody could visit me very easily and I don't know when the kids I envision that when the kids get to you know go off to college or whatever that is you know

that we're we're gonna take off where are we going to the moon places just play places. I can't, I mean, I'm sure we will start traveling. But I feel like we just will be scared. We'll want to like follow them around, make sure they're okay. I have no, I'm not thinking that way. You're not? Oh, I am. I may, I don't know how it will feel,

but I'm not feeling like I feel. I'm like a all in or all off. I can't do, I can't let my heart can't be like here and here. Yeah. Can't be in two different places. And so if they're like, hey, I got accepted at this college, and I'm going to do that. I'll be like, all right, man, let me make sure you have all the things. And then off you go. Yeah. I mean, of course I'm going to do all that, and then I'm going to be worried to death when they're by themselves. I'm just going to let it leave it up to the universe.

What about driving? Driving what? Like them learning to drive? That one majors is going through that right now. Yeah. I'm worried about that only because I know how dangerous the road is. and I know how careless kids can be. But we're going to do all the things.

Like they have that breaks program that we learned about through nationwide insurance. And I'm going to send them through stuff like that. They're going to go. Oh, yes. Yes, sir. They're going to go through the breaks program. They're going to do,

they're going to get a ton of information before they, you know, hit the road. They'll have all the understanding, at least they'll have been presented the materials. to sort of understand. So Dale's not worried about anything. Plus, with technology, you can like... I'll tell you what, this is the mouse.

It's not a milestone. But the relationships, the boys. Oh. Yeah, I'm scared for that too. That is going to be a massive problem. Because they'll be, well, there'll be no chance in hell that I'm going to like any of them. Yeah.

Right? No chance. They could be the most buttoned up greatest young men. And I'm still not going to like. like them. That's okay. And that's not all right. I mean, it's, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's what it is. It's not like okay or not okay. It's just, I'm not going to like it and they're not going to listen. I'm going to tell them, you know, to, I'm going to tell them about how they navigate those situations and they're going to totally just, you know, do what they want to do.

The boys or our children. The kids, our kids. Our kids. Yeah. You're going to be like, hey, man, you know, just take it, you know, just be smart. You know, this is what, this is what, This is the pace and speed and the things you need to be aware of. And they're not going to listen to that. I can't imagine you even talking to the girls about dating. I feel like that's going to be something that, like, mom does. I'm sure you're going to do the majority of that, but I'm going to have some opinions. Of course.

My dad didn't have any opinions. I'll be honest. It ain't going to be like, here's my advice. It's going to be like, here's the rules. Yes, of course. Yes, here's your curfew. And if you screw up, yeah, if you screw up and you're late, I don't care if it's a minute, two minutes, ten minutes. Your ass better be on time, be where you're supposed to be.

Yeah. The thing about like like 360 and all that now, too, you can track them. You can see how fast they're going. Yeah. We didn't have any of that going on. Yeah. That's the kind of stuff I'm. Yeah.

I mean, I snuck out of the house as a kid in high school, but I didn't do anything too wrong. So like, at least one of them is going to have my sense of, yeah. Like my dad was really, my dad, when I flipped my truck, he, he was like, I flip my car. You know what happens? And I'm like, you know. But it doesn't. Like, not everybody just starts flipping trucks. My point is, is it was a lesson for me to be like, hey.

Show out. Yeah, like if, when my kids do the silly things that I did, that I'm, and I'm still here to, and, you know, it didn't, you know, they do think, it's not the end of the world. Didn't ruin your life. Didn't ruin my life, you know. You don't have to really, the punishments don't have to be severe, but it's just got to be, you know, you just got to tell them what you expect, expectations are.

I hear you. Well, I'm worried and he's not. He's worried with some things. Yeah. Just different ones. Next question comes from Heather. She wants to know, Amy, what is a fashion trend that you regret following? God, he's so many. I love this question.

This is a great question. Yeah, this is great. I'm thinking about, like, all the times I dyed my hair black or. What? They look great. That's fine. I mean, you just... That's a hard thing to undo when you're a blonde. It's a hard.

Like, you have to just wait for it to either fade out or... You have to bleach it out. And the process of that is not cute. Perms. I had a perm as a young kid. And it was a bob. It was like short. It was a lot more hair things than anything.

When no doubt was really popular, I bleached my hair to platinum. No shit. It was, yeah, it was like. Did you have the purple or the pink tips? No, my parents weren't cool enough to let me do anything like that. But I did get to bleach it out. It was really platinum blonde. And then it was so fried that went to,

curl it before school one day and it it like fried off onto my curling iron. I like, I got to say, I liked Gwen's hair when she had the, um, the pink. She, they had a song called ex-girlfriend and she, uh, had blonde,

blonde hair with pink tips, probably about four inches. Yeah. And I was like, that's pretty cool. Yeah. Well, I couldn't do that kind of stuff with cheerleading either.

There was so many like, dress code rules. You remember when I wanted. to dye my hair orange. Yeah. You would have let me. If you would have let me, I would have done it. Listen, he wanted to do stuff like that, too, again, when he was racing and had rules with all of his sponsors.

He's like, oh, I've got this idea. I'm like, you're already kind of orange. Like, why not? Go for it. Maybe nobody will notice. She did not say why not go for it. She said, no. I mean, why would you want to look like carrot top and have orange, orange, orange hair?

What? Did I want to do blue? You just wanted to dye your hair a different color like when Stefani. It sounds like. Yeah. I definitely did. Like in my mid-30s. I've never seen a man do that.

Yeah, that would have been weird. I regret the. Thanks for holding me back. The frosted tips, you need the gel and the hair and the up, you have it sticking on the front. You had that too? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I feel like the boys to men, backstreet boys kind of like five.

Early 2000s. I did not mind the frosted tips. I went to, I went to Trees's stylist to get my tips from. crossed it in the 90s and in late 90s. Yeah. And it was right high end place. So it looked, it wasn't like that, you know, it wasn't like one of them cheap jobs. Now, so the first time I got it done, it looked like kind of like grays.

Like, oh, it was ashy. Yeah. And it was, it was, I liked that. I thought it was good. And then finally we were like, man, just do the whole thing, you know. And we did the whole half, whole top. Now that, that, that was. And you did that yourself?

No, we did. The salon did it. Yeah. it's all hair related. Yeah. There's lots of bad fashion choices. I mean, I look back at stuff recently, too, and I'm like, golly, what were you thinking?

When that guy would stick that thing through the scalp. Oh, yep. He poked it through the cap. Yeah. And he'd stick that. And I, it was like a crochet hook. You do not.

It was like a needle. It's like, bang, bang. I'm like, you do not have to do that. Like, you can get in there and get hairs without having to poke me in the head physically every time. Yeah. Yeah. Dale, did you ever wear like the jenko jeans?

really baggy jeans. I had the carpenter jeans. No big baggies. Just the carpenter with the hammer hook. Yeah, I had those too. Yeah. I had baggy jeans, but not Jinko's, not like the true ones. Those are fun, though.

Carpenter jeans were big. Everybody. We're like in different generations in fashion, too. I was around, I remember being in school when everybody wore their pants backwards, like Chris Crows. Yeah. Remember that? I remember that? I remember.

I was like I was in junior high in. Chris Cross will make you jump. Remember that song? Oh, I know a song. And we never, that trend was never in. And then boys were their clothes backwards. Yeah. And then people started literally coming to school with their clothes on backwards.

And not all of us did it, but some people literally did that. I'm like, bold. Yeah. They didn't last very long. And then, oh, they didn't let you do that at school for very long. There was a phase when we were wearing a pants inside out. I do not kid. What was that?

I don't know what. I didn't do that. Some, there was a music. It was a band or song or something. And people were coming with their jeans. inside out. I do remember that. I don't remember the band that did it,

but I do remember that, I think. There was somebody that did it. My favorite trend that I know kind of came back just lightly was in the 90s, like the baby doll t-shirts with like the cammy dresses and like Doc Martins. It's kind of the same in the Grunge era, but like the dainty girl grunge. I don't even know if you call it that. It was grunge and I was hanging out with this crowd and trying to impress them.

And so, yeah, I had Doc Martins and all that stuff for a while. I just took some Doc Martin out of Islaz closet yesterday. They're too small and I got a little sad. They're so cute. They're flowers all over them. I did. I had a little airwalk phase where I wore airwalk shoes. They're kind of like these.

Do you know, honest with you? They were comfortable. Airwarks were so comfortable. Yeah. I remember those. Yep. Had a pair. You have them on?

No, I had a pair. You had a pair. I've. I used to. But I had this football, so not necessarily a fashion thing that I regret, but Teresa would make us, you know, dress a certain way for school, collared, button-down shirt or whatever. And my friends, I'm going to, you know, a public school at this time.

And my friends, man, they just wore whatever the hell they wanted. You know, get on a school bus and I'm like, everybody just dressed regularly. And here I am and brand-new wrangler jeans, starched. and I've got this damn college shirt on. I can't imagine you. I feel like such a nerd. And I would pack a shirt in my backpack and change clothes on the bus. I'd get on the bus wearing whatever Teresa said I had to wear,

whatever she laid out that morning, and then I'd get on the bus and change my shirt. Like just into a T-shirt? On the way of school. Yeah, wear whatever I wanted. Good Lord. You got naked on the bus? I guess that is.

Dang, dude. What's funny is like my. I mean, it was a second, third, fourth grade. I mean, just a kid. It's funny the brands that, like, when I was growing up, if you wore that, like, you were, like, a loser, and now, like, they're popular. They're popular.

And I'm just like... You remember, what were the brown shoes? I didn't have those. They looked like moccasins kind of. Oh, they had a name. Bass? Wallabies. No, bass.

Look that up. They were brown loafers called bass. Like a boat shoe? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Do those things. Everyone had a pair of those. We went through like a preppy phase.

I remember when like Jabot. Do you remember Jabot jeans that had like the little label on the fly? Probably the second one there. Yeah, yeah, or the third one. Spare. Sparry men's gold. I remember I had like a pair because I was like everyone. I popped my collar with my little polo shirts and had my jabo jeans and all the things.

I went through a hard preppy phase. We all of us had those for one year. Yeah. You know. I also remember having a Hornet starter jacket. Oh, I got one. Yeah. Chicago Bulls and I don't think I ever watched a basketball game at all as a kid.

But I had me a hornet starter jacket. And I had Barclays, the all black Berkeley tennis shoes. I thought I was so cool. Our sister got the Jordans. I was like, I don't want to be like her. So I got the other ones. Yeah. Nice.

It was cool. No, man. That's some good memories. I wish I still had the good jacket. You see the photos of yourself and you're just like, oh, mom, why did you let me wear that? Yeah, she's like, it was too hard to change your mind. Just let you go. Yeah.

And I know what that feels like now. That's just to let it ride. Do you have any other questions? You remember cut, did you ever cut? You probably did do this, but cut the lines in your head. Yeah, no, I didn't do anything like that. Oh, it was stairs steps. Yep, you'd do like three.

I had that for a little six months or so. Like Charlie Sheen. Brian Bosworth. Yeah. Never did that. All this was, you know, 12, 14, 15 years old or so. When it's still cute. Yeah.

I had a flat top once. What? Did we get a flat top? When I was in military school. With your curly hair? When I was in military school, they had to buzz you. And so I didn't want to have a buzz cut like everybody else. I mean, it was short, like a number two or number three.

But they'd let you have a flat top. And so I did a flat top once for a while. God, I'd love to see a picture of that. I can't imagine. Your head's already so very square. Probably 12, 13 years old, man. I had a freaking perfectly flat top. It was bad.

Yes. That's when we need to diet when you get a flat top, blue flat top. Yeah. One more question is, what is something you swore you never do as a parent that you've given it on? That I never do? That you swore you would never like, is there anything that you're like, yeah, oh, they're not doing this? Probably like taking iPads to a restaurant. I remember thinking, like, there's got to be another way.

And we don't take them all the time, but if we're on vacation, we take them just so we can sit there longer. because her attention span is so short. So that's one of them. When Kelly had her kids, I was in the in the cartoon realm, my favorite is is a SpongeBob. I like SpongeBob. So if I'm going to sit down and watch a cartoon,

because it's just, I like, I just, there's some others, but SpongeBob's probably my favorite. And so I intentionally would, anytime I bought Kelly's kids anything, it would be SpongeBob. It would be SpongeBob, stuffed animals. Slippers. Slippers. Whatever.

Spongebob, everything. I was going to imprint Spongebob on these kids. And it kind of worked. Kennedy really likes Spongebob. And so when we had kids, I was like, all right. You know, can't wait until they get a chance to find out what SpongeBob is. is. He's hilarious. And Amy's like, they ain't watching Spongy Bob.

I mean, he played SpongeBob. He didn't just think about it. He had SpongeBob on for Ilo when she was like three years old. She's learning how to speak very well. Like she's repeating everything. And SpongeBob is on when I come downstairs, whatever morning it was. And SpongeBob is crude. And it's not that like kids can't watch it, but three-year-olds probably shouldn't.

Because SpongeBob, like, what's Krusty Krab and SpongeBob? and the, what's the little guy? Squidward. Squidward. He's mad at everything. And he said, I hate you, SpongeBob. And I'm like, nope, turn it off. Because we're not talking like that.

She's going to start saying, I hate this and I hate this. And I hate you, dad, and I hate you, mom. I can't be watching this. And he was so mad at me. I'm like, listen. Are you kidding me? You can't extract it. You can't extract it.

Once you put it in there, you can't extract that from her little minds. Like, it's too early. But then we got to a certain time where I'm not, I'm just, she starts putting SpongeBob on the TV. They just came out with a movie. And so we've seen the movie. Yeah. And I'm like, hey, wait a minute.

Nobody told me SpongeBob was now clear, all free and clear. Nobody says I hate you in the movie. Oh. They've cleaned it up a little bit. I think enough of us moms were like, okay, clean it up, Spongob. The girls are older now. They are, but I mean, I didn't get the memo that morning from this point forward. Spongebob is good to go.

You can start having some SpongeBob around. I was just trying to surprise you, Dale. You said you like that. And I'm like, man, I thought I'd get a notice. No. There's probably going to be

lots of things that happen like that. Okay, now we're going to just try this out. It's hard to keep up. That's going to be, I guess. Welcome to your life. Buckle up, Ralph. All right, well, that's what we got this week.

Thank you guys for your questions. If you haven't already, please hit subscribe. And don't forget to check out all of the merch at Shop. DirtyMomedia.com. Also, if you haven't already noticed, we have Jerky Boys merch. And you can buy some of that here in the shop. So thank you for your time and your questions. And we'll see you next week. Check out DirtyMoh Media on Instagram, Facebook, X, and TikTok.