The Dale Jr. Download - The Funniest Dale & Amy Moments of 2026 (So Far)

Episode Date: June 25, 2026

With Dale and Amy away in Sonoma this week, we're taking a look back at some of your favorite Bless Your 'Hardt moments from the first half of 2026. From Dale Jr.'s vacation phone disaster that triggered emergency crash alerts to the mystery of the accidentally stolen birthday cake, this episode is packed with the stories, laughs, and unforgettable moments that made the year so much fun. You'll also hear about Dale's latest trading card obsession, Nicole's hilarious candy trivia challenge, Gus the dog's winter weather struggles, and plenty of the everyday conversations that make Bless Your 'Hardt what it is. Whether you've been listening all year or you're just catching up, this collection of fan-favorite moments is the perfect way to relive some of the funniest and most memorable stories from the show so far. Thanks for listening, and we'll be back next week with an all-new episode of Bless Your 'Hardt!   Check out Dirty Mo Media on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DirtyMoMedia  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The following is a production of Dirty Mo Media. Oh, yeah, this is the way it's going to be, girl, if we're going to hang out. Open a bunch of jars, you've got big strong hands. Are you suffering from High Craft? I'm working. Working that mouth. Hey, y'all, welcome to the Dirty MoMo Media Studio. Dale and I are in Sonoma this week.

So here are some best-up clips of some of the funny things we've talked about. And before we get started, here's our drink of the week. Let's get into the drink of the week because Dale's already started drinking his, and he said it is delicious. It is good. Red Bull. Yes, we have a drink, which is presented by High Rock, and we have a new Red Bull cocktail this morning. What's it called? What's the new flavor called?

Sudashi. Sudachi. Sudachi. Your tongue's getting in the way there. Suddachi. There you go. It's lime, basically. Yes.

It's freaking delicious. It's delicious all on its own. It's delicious mixed with the High Rock. So we've got the Red Bull Sudachi line. one ounce of high rock vodka, one ounce of pineapple juice, and an ounce of fresh lime juice. That is great. Just mixed together in a glass, and it is very refreshing. Let me just tell you.

Is it so good? Is this your favorite? That is my new favorite mixed drink. It is delicious. Oh, wow. That is delicious. Isn't it? I mean, it basically is kind of...

You can make like a martini out of that, too. Forget the ice. Shake it up. It tastes a lot. Yeah, it's got a little margarita vibe to it, very lime. very tart, but light and crisp. Crisp. Yeah, good.

Pretty solid. Checking boxes. It's like the drink of the summer. It's like the drink of the summer, absolutely. And the color of the can is very enticing too. It's like neon. It's giving you wings while you're drinking it, you know. Nobody even thinks about that part.

But that's really the best part. You're elevated. I want my motor to run all day long. And that Red Bull will do it. See what I mean? People, he's been drinking his already. He's already tuned up. Don't forget to check out high rock vodka.com to...

Boy, that is freaking delicious. Even by itself. The summer edition. Yeah. Hopefully they make this shit the all year long edition. They should make it the Dale Jr. The Dale Jr. flavor. Dale Dutchie.

A little bit of jerky boys, jerky, and holy moly. Get me on a boat. Right? Yeah, get me on a boat right now. I was going to go to Cars Tour race Saturday. God, I'm really contemplating just sitting on the boat. Oh, my God, the weather is supposed to be nice. Don't forget to visit highrockbodka.com to find a vodka bottle near you.

We have new sizes as well. We have a 1.75 liter coming out. And also, don't forget to check out the deal, yeah, at the Texas Roadhouse. It is nationwide now. And it is delicious. Don't forget two. You must be 21 years or over. and drink responsibly.

Dale lost his phone. Why are we? Dale did it too. Dale lost his phone. Dale lost his phone. And it was smashed. I'm waiting days to say that. Oh my gosh.

Days. And you didn't bring it with you, did you? Oh, it is here. Go get it. It's upstairs. Stefan, we need it. Yep. He smashed the shit out of it.

Yeah, I did. All right. So we're in St. Martin on this great trip. We have had a day. It's the first day. I thought it was the second day. Maybe it was. It was early.

It was early on in the trip. Yeah. We had had a good. Oh, it was definitely the first night. It was. It was. No, it wasn't after St. Barts. Oh, there was a sporting event on.

And it was the night the Hornets lost to Orlando. I got nothing. I know that was, yeah. Robbie probably has it. I'll go up and get it. You know what? Steven's at lunch. Nah, shit.

Well, all right. We are having a day. We had so much fun. We've drank too much. You know how you are? You know how you are first day? You're excited to be wherever you are. Yes.

We're going. We're going. Hammer down. Yep. Having great time. And we have rented what they call a moke or a mokey. At one point when we were going through the golf cart stuff, I wanted to buy one of these.

and Dale was against it. And we had never even driven one. They used to run them in Sullivan's Islands and they stopped. So we didn't get the chance to do that. So I saw that they were renting them on this island. I'm like, Joey, we have to get one of these. And so it's basically like a glorified golf cart. And so we're taking this thing back and forth on these rough roads down to the little town center.

And it was a rough ride. There's no doors on this thing. And the sides of it scoops super low. so, you know, hang on, buckle up the whole thing. Back and forth, go down to this little bar, come back home. Dale can't find his phone. And meanwhile, we're getting text messages from both our pilot, Joey, from Kelly to my phone to Tara and Tim because I wasn't answering my phone. I was trying to be responsible for once and I kept it in my purse.

Anyway, Dale had run over his phone. But now, whoa. We don't know that for sure. Listen, the thing was completely annihilated. And it was sending out code red alerts to all of his emergency contacts. Like, he has been in a crash. So this phone flew out of his pocket because he just had a swim trunks out. Fell out of his pocket when we had a bump and, like, flew in the road.

So he could have very well ran over. The moke doesn't have doors. No doors. So the phone just flew, you know, we're bouncing on these little rough old roads. Yeah. It's, our house is like half a mile. less than that. Less than that from this bar

that we'd be hanging out. We had dinner and all that. So we're bouncing on the way home and the thing just kind of hopped out of my pocket, right? Well, it... It said adios. It's so smart because either when it hit the ground or when a car ran over it, it sends an alert to my two emergency contacts,

Amy and Kelly. Well, Amy's phone is in her purse. and Kelly's texting us going, are y'all okay? Texting the Duggers. It says that he has been into a crash. Dale's been in a crash, an accident. Yeah.

And here's the location of the accident. And so Kelly texts Joey, the pilot, Joey's trying to leave this hotel room to drive to wherever this pen is to find whatever the hell's happened there. She had been trying to get a little of us. And we weren't looking at her phones. And we at that point didn't even know he had lost his phone.

Amy didn't even pull her phone out. to know she even got this text message. She has no clue. Yeah, she's having a great time. And it wouldn't have, Amy would have been none the wiser. Exactly. That's true.

If I wasn't with you, I would have been lost, lost. Here's the phone. She's getting smashed. I'll do my best, Savannah. It is. It doesn't look terrible.

Well, look. And this was in a case. Oh. It was in a case. And it's still smashed, but the whole back and the whole front are just shattered. So we're, we're getting,

It doesn't even turn on. Well, I had, I drove to the bar. I ran back to the bar and in the car. I'm walking around. It's kind of a courtyard with a lot of restaurants. And they're all open air. And so I'm walking to all the places we were. And the people that work there, the bartenders, the waiter that saw us, a guy that was playing music, they're all like, yeah, really?

Okay, we're looking. And I've got my Garmin watch on. And anytime I get near my phone with the Garmin watch, I'm going to get the technology. I'm going to get the text messages and all the alerts, right? I'm walking around waiting on this Garmin watch to start buzzing so I can know that I'm within 20 feet or whatever of this phone. It's not happening. And as much as I want to believe the phone is there, it ain't there.

And so we drive back home. When you get home, that's when we get the text messages. Yeah. And that's when we're starting to learn that, oh, the phone is in the street. And he finally takes my phone so that he can track his phone. Why didn't you do it from the beginning? Well, I don't know. This is what happened.

So we, I'm not sharing my location with Amy, which I didn't realize that. We always have. And so I'm going on her phone trying to find mine. And it's, it's like giving me a general area, not necessarily. It's on the street. It's like you're in this state. You're in this city, right? It's not like, it's not giving me a direct.

And then it dawned on me, get my iPad out. So I get my iPad out. my iPad's like, there it is. There's your phone. And I'm like, sh-h-h. And so we take a, my iPad's got 1%. It's dead, right? I can't take my iPad with me to locate the phone.

So I get Tim Dugger, our buddy, to take a picture of the iPad screen. And me and him drove down the street and right where it said it was is the phone laying in the street going, ding-ding ding-ding, ding-ding, ding-ding, ding-ding, raising hell. It is crushed.

It is completely crushed. The screen doesn't work. It doesn't work. You can't use it. You can't call it. But it's going berserk. How cool is that technology that it sent out to my emergency contacts that there was an issue and that it was destroyed by how many, maybe I ran over it multiple times going back to look for it?

Certainly other cars hit it. And it was still good enough, right, to be screaming, here I am. The whole thing is just so ironic because he went post- when I lost mine. And he went postal even more when he lost his. And I thought, there's just nothing that's going to send this man more than somebody losing their phone. I have an opinion about that. So I lost mine because it bounced out of my pocket. I didn't lose mine. It was in my hotel room. I know. In my mind, like I wasn't even that irresponsible. I know. In my mind, in both cases, my case and yours, I thought you left yours at a bar on a table and I left mine at

the bar somewhere somehow, right? Or in a chair. I do want to do this, and I told Nicole I might. But she's, we're, so we're riding to school this morning, and she's telling me about the Texas trip. She goes, Dad, remember last year you were helping me find eggs during the Eastery hunt? Yeah? She's like, yeah. You're going to do that again, Dad?

She didn't say that. No, she didn't. She just goes, you remember that? Her memory's really good. She's got a lot of attention to each other. Yeah, I do remember that. And I was wanting her or waiting for her to go, let's do that again or whatever. and I think she was trying to get there.

But, and she was like, let's play a game. I was like, all right. She goes, my favorite food. And I said, man, I don't know. She goes, I said, is it a dessert? She goes, yeah. I said ice cream. She goes, no.

I said candy. She goes, yeah. I said, candy's not a food, honey. We can't live on candy. She goes, well, okay, what's my favorite candy? And I was like, I was like, well, she goes, It starts with an S.

And I was like, she goes, it's sour. I was like, she says it comes in a bag. I was like, what color is it? She goes,

it's all colors. And I'm like, okay. And I was like, Skittles? She goes, those aren't sour. I'm like,

they can be. She goes, no, this is really, really sour. And I was like, starts with an S. And she's back there going,

S, I'm like, I know what an S sounds like. She's just really trying to help you out. And it was sourpats. Sour Patch kids. And I was like, oh, I was like... That's what took the tooth out.

When I went to Key West, I got a bag of crybaby tears. Yeah. And I'm like, Coley, if you like sour, I got a candy, you need to try. It's real sour. Now it's sour, sour. She goes, oh, another clue she gave me was hilarious. I was like on the sour patch kids. I was like, give me a clue.

What's it shaped like? She goes, kids. I'm like, wait, what? It's a candy. And it looks like little people. And she goes, yep. And it's sour and you still didn't get it. I didn't.

I don't know. Are they shaped like kids? Yes. Sour patch kids. I know, but they're little kids. Yes. Oh, I've never seen this. How have you not?

Look. They all aren't hard, junior. They look like a little crater kid. Damn. Well, there you go. I have never seen one. Like, I've seen these bags, but I've never... How fast you eat?

They fly straight from the bag, straight to his mouth, straight past his vision. I don't see them. Well, that's what you were eating in Colorado when your tooth came out. They were just shaped like watermelons. Two deals defense. This photo here. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, but they're called kids, Sour Patch kids.

All right. So, all right. So that happens. And I said, I got this candy you need to try. And it's crybaby tears. Or I said it's cry baby tears. babies. And she goes, are they shaped? Are those ones that are individually wrapped?

They look like, shaped like tears. And, but I don't know if they're crybaby tears or just cry babies. But that's what it is. Yeah, I've never had those. And she goes, is it shaped like little babies? I was like, no. That's a great question considering the kids. I was like, no, it's shaped like a little tear. You're not going to eat babies. Well, we just got off to talking about little kids. I know. And so she's thinking for sure, cry babies must be shaped like a baby. Yes. And she goes,

is it going to make me cry? I hope it don't make me cry. I'm like, no, I don't think it really will make you cry. I feel like we need to give her some of these. Oh, we're going to.

And so after school, I said you could try one. You have some bag? Yes, I got him from Key West. A whole bag. Oh, you still have him. So he hasn't eaten his candy. He still hasn't eaten the Key West candy.

There's a lot of it. I got crybaby tears, cry baby gum, and then some caramels. What are the ones that are like little rounds and they usually are warheads. Warheads.

Those are pretty good. They're a heart candy. I like crybabies and the crybaby tears are good. Super sour. I'll try one too. Yeah, they're good. I got a conference call after this.

Do you? Yes. Is it with Red Bull? Because it should be. No. It's with Panini card company. Oh, really?

Oh, my God. The curse. Man, alive. I predicted correctly, Travis. We had this talk. This dude, I saw that y'all talked about it

already saw go light, but we got home from the beach on Sunday at 2 o'clock. I haven't seen him since. I haven't seen his essence. He has been upstairs in the library cataloging, scanning, pricing. It's like he's not even existing in our lives this week. So yeah. Yeah. Well, last night he had him all over the kitchen counter and I looked at it and was like, are you going to, are you about done? Yeah. He goes, what? I was like, are you about done with that? It's the only thing you've done all week. Yeah. I was so annoyed. Yeah, I got, um, I got excited about the cards, collecting cards. I used to collect them when I was little,

and I have a bunch of cards that I've just stored away. I haven't looked at them in 30 years. And I didn't think they were worth crap, but there's a bunch of, like, Kyle Ripkins and King Griffey Jr. And Frank Thomas and Bo Jackson's. And I'm like, I don't remember having all of this, but I'm going through there. I'm like, damn, this is a $50 car.

This is a $100 card. This is a $200 card. This is a... I thought for sure he had bought all these boxes. No. There are so many more boxes and he claimed that he had collected to begin with. Like you really didn't remember, apparently. I didn't even know that.

I thought you had just bought all that. I had, so I had two closets full. And I only thought I had one little closet and I found some more because I was missing some. And I was like, I know I got some stuff. I got, I had stuff down stairs that I had stored away. But so I'm learning like these things have been. been, I opened the packs. I collected from 88 to 91.

I opened all the packs the day I bought them and put them away and haven't touched them. And these cards are in mint condition. And so they're all worth, they're all worth thousands of dollars. And so in total, right? And so I bet you there's, yeah, there's some good cards. So. So you haven't been upstairs ripping packs, as you're saying? No, I'm going through my old stuff.

You haven't bought any new ones? A little, but not much. I bought two boxes and that's it. But, and they're, I mean, those is about 100 cards. Well, the way you've been talking to about ripping packs, I thought, if he had bought all these and he's sitting up there doing this by himself, how sad is that? We've reached a new level. If you're going to be ripping packs, let me know, I'll come over.

See? That's what I was thinking, too. Like, aren't you supposed to do this with someone else? Yeah. I don't want to give it away until I get buy-in from Panini, but I'm going to present Panini with an idea. today about a very, very limited edition card. It's truly a home run.

It is absolutely a home run, no pun intended. Like, actually, honestly, when he told me, Grand Slam, like, I legitimately, I'm like, okay, this is something you should pursue. So I'm, this is, this is, are you going to share it right now? Well, no. So I'm, I never get to know. Well, I'll tell you after, I don't want to tell it because if it don't happen. Oh.

But, well, see, this is if you really want it to happen. This is how you play this. No, but I think it's best to have a comp. I hear you. I'm just message. So this is my, this is a flaw, massive flaw in me, okay. I am a, I have a very addictive personality. And when I like something, I do, I want to do it every minute of that day.

And so as soon as I like get to doing something or starting to messing with something, collecting or, and I, if it's collect, if it involves collecting, if it involves organizing or itemizing, I like the, for some reason, I get the dopamine from, from like organizing things and putting things in order. Yep. And so, so like collecting the cards or just going through my cards. I'll open up on my iPad. There's a website and it'll say here are the top 20 cards that are the most valuable ones out of this year set. And so I'll go, okay, there's the 20 cards. Let's go through.

There's one. There's one. And then when I'm done, I put them all in this nice little plastic sleeve so they're better protected so they'll last another 30 years. And then you kind of rank, do you file them in the ranking? And I put them in a nice metal box.

And so... What do you do with the rest of them? They go back in the car. they'll go back in the little white sleeves and go put it back in the closet because they're worth a quarter apiece. And so I get addicted to that and I want to do that like it drives, it's driving, like it's at the forefront of my brain, even when there's other things I need to be doing that I know I've got to do that. That's like, oh, okay, I'll do that, but I'll get back to cards and I'll do that and I'll get back to cards and I'll do that and get back to cards.

And so I'll- It's manic. Yeah. I'll go through this whole huge arc of obsession over something and it crescendos into a final project and I think that's what this card idea is. So I went in just a couple of days from like, man, I want to kind of get back into collecting. Yeah, okay. I remember what that was like. That was fun. I'm good. I want to make a card.

You know, I bring those card sleeves home and I sign them from Benini, right? Yeah. I lay them out on a table or sign them. And I've done that for years and never thought nothing about them. This is, you know, never looked at them and went, what's the difference between this card and this one? This one's blue. This one's green. This one's red.

But it's all, you know, I've never really tried to. It's all sitting right there in front of me, but I don't really. It's never just made the light bulb go off. Yeah. Well, in the just simple couple of days, I've been messing with this. I came up with the idea to actually create what I believe will be the most sought after card in racing ever. He's not wrong. I believe you, especially if Travis is behind it.

And so, you know, I can't wait to hear. While yes, it has been, it has been annoying that I've been. It's been a long week. Yeah, I've been in. Single mom and. Yeah. It's been annoying because I've been sitting in the library all day. You've got too many spaces to hide too.

Yeah. It's going to come up. It's going to, if this plan works, it's going to be worth it. I can't wait. Can't wait to hear what it is. You and your plan. Yeah. And I'm, yeah.

But it gets all kinds of things started. Like I was, I called Steve Myers today. We're working on the next console game for NASCAR. Yeah. And I called him today. And I was like, man, there's got to be a way where we can, where Panini or the card company and the console maker, ir racing,

there could be a way for the two to play together in the, in the game to produce an opportunity for a specific card for the user or vice, you know, something. There's got to be, it just makes things, you know how about connecting people

huh yeah yeah so stuff comes out of this I know I'm just sitting up there looking at cards you can justify anything I'm excited to see what the card is just saying he's just saying he's just saying that's it I'm just saying

dampening it's the dampener like don't build me up to dampen me down I just don't understand it we need to get Stephen in here can you see if Stephen is available and can he come to a hot mic in there in the booth? We have a mystery to solve. We have mystery to solve. So we got around to the conversation about the keys, by the way, because of a keychain.

Ila had a keychain she wanted to use or she saw a key chain. She had a key chain. She had a key chain. She had a key chain. She goes like, why do they call it a key chain? I don't understand it. And I was like, well, you know, people used to have keys for everything. You had a key for your house. You had a key for your car. You had a key for your locker. You had a key for this or that. Sunny still has it. Yeah. I'm like you sometimes you, you know, sometimes you, you, you know, You know, you have to have all of it once. So you'd loop them together on those little rings and then you'd have a key chain. And so that's how we got to the car thing.

Fob comes from, it's a German word. It's a German word? Yeah. It's FAB, not F-O-B? So the word small pocket is F-O-B-K-E. And so that's how the Fobb comes from. And Stephen's on his way down here. Yeah, Stephen Stephan.

So Stephen Stephen is a... The dream. The dream team. A lot of folks know Stephen, but Stephen is kind of a jackball traes. does a lot of different things within the organization at Junior Motors and for me and Amy. How's it going, Stefan? Good. How are you guys?

Yeah, pretty good. So let me set this up here. Amy loves carrot cake. We're going to, you know, get her a carrot cake for her birthday, we, me. For the first time ever. Yeah. And, you know, last year at this time, I forgot the carrot cake and I got her what I wanted, which was Red Velvet.

Steve Park coming here and delivered us a carrot cake. from a local bakery. Yeah. And Amy loved that carrot cake and said, when you get me one, get me one from this place. Yes. Well,

who doesn't like a local bakery anyway? It's special. So I was, I'm going to go pick up a cake. And so I give, I went online, found the, um.

He found the bunk cake. I found the bunk cake place. Oh, I see what happened. So, I googled a carrot cake near me and it found... He's so illy-equipped to find a damn carrot cake in town. He has a Google carrot cake near me.

By chance, it brings up... I know what happened, Stephen. By chance, it brings up good eats and sweets by Dan. And that is the place that Steve Park brought the other... And that is pure coincidence that that is what it gave me. God gave you that. It's like here's the place you need to go. I screenshot it on my phone, has the phone number on it, and I text it to Stephen.

I said, Stephen, call this number, order the cake. I'm going to pick it up. Don't go get it. I'm going to get it. And so I didn't think it was a big deal if he ordered it, but I knew that for your cake, you wanted me to go actively go retrieve it. Were you about to say fetch? No.

and so I'm going to go get this cake. In my head, I have ordered the cake from a bunt cake place over by... Everybody knows everything but bun cakes, the bunt cake joint. It's everything... It's everywhere now. In my head, that's where we've ordered the cake from. And so when he says the cake is ready, I drive over to the bunt cake. cake store.

And I, that we'd have. This is where there's a question in play still. Dale says he picks up the bun cake. Let me get there. The question, hadn't even got to that part. I walk in thinking that this is where the cake's at. Yeah. I walk up.

And I'm standing there thinking that there's an Amy cake in the back. The lady walks out and goes, hey, what do you need? You know, what can I do for you? What are you here for? You know? And I'm like, well, there's a birthday cake for Amy in the back. I'm here to get it.

She goes, oh, okay, all right. She walks back there, you know, rummages around and produces a cake. And I'm in there waiting on her and I find a card and all this stuff on the rack. And I'm like, all right, perfect. I'm going to get a card. I'll draw in it. And the kids can draw in it. I'll draw in it.

I'm going to draw in it and the kids can draw in it and we'll give her the card. And lady produces a cake. I buy the card, the cake, and walk out. I've got the cake well I put it in the refrigerator at home it's still there we didn't even look at it

a day later this is on Monday Tuesday Stefan calls and says hey man they still got the cake I was like they ain't got the cake I picked it up

and he's like no man they got the cake they say you ain't came and got it and he's like I'm gonna go take it I'm gonna go take care of it I'm going to go by there and see what's going on here. And in my mind, I think he's going to the bun cake place. And he goes there, picks up a cake. He takes a picture of it.

And I'm like, shit, that's way different looking. And I said, well, bring. He goes, that's not round. He asked me, he's like, what's the cakes with the hole in the middle? What's that called? I'm like, a bun cake? Like, you got a bun cake? That's not the cake that we talked about.

So I said, Stephen, bring that cake to the house. He brings it over. And now I got two cakes. But we still don't know what type of cake is in the Buntcake box or what other Amy is missing their cake. Yes. So now we know. I've figured it out.

You ordered from the right place because that's the right, that's the number I gave you. I thought you ordered from Bunkcake. I went to Bunt Cake walked in there and pulled a cake out of that place that belonged to somebody else. And you brought the right cake so we were able to eat the cake Amy wanted, but somebody from Bunk Cake is cakeless. Or they just made you one.

Somebody else named Amy who also had a birthday this week. We're very sorry. We didn't mean to do that. But, you know, they've got lots of cakes in there. Surely they could reproduce another one. Oh, my gosh. But we still don't even know what flavor the cake is that we have. And they do make carrot cake.

You must have gone in there and just made a scene. I didn't. Scared that lady, and she just gave you the cake. I didn't make a scene? The Ljudea came in here, raving about some cake. and so I just threw him one. He said, there's cake back there for me.

Like he held a gun to her, like, give me a cakes, lady. No. That's not at all. I walked in, I said, you know, I'm in my mind,

she knows there's, you know, in my mind, I'm at the right place with the cake and Amy's, Amy's cakes back there. And I go,

yeah, you got a cake for Amy in the back. I'm here to get it. And she goes, oh, okay. Let me go back there. She goes back there,

comes back out with a cake. And she goes, here you go. Happy birthday. you know, it's got all the things on it. Happy birthday, all the stuff on it. Yo, you totally did steal somebody's cake. Oh, my God.

I feel like we need to go back and like apologize. You said you just paid for the card. Did you pay for both? I need to look at the receipt. But when that's another thing. So when I asked her, I put the card on the table and I sit, she sits the cake down and goes, you're all set. And I go, I know, and I go.

So now we've stolen a case. I go, hey, I want to buy this card, and she rings the card up. It's like five bucks. So I didn't pay for a cake. Oh, my gosh. But I mean, look, man, I'm not, I'm walking out thinking, damn, maybe he put a card on it or something. Yeah. If that was the place, I would have.

You straight hijacked a cake. I know. I mean, whoever paid, whoever's cake it was is prepaid, I suppose. Yeah, we need to go back and pay for the cake. Yeah. We'll take it back. No, we're not taking the cake back. We should take it back.

You can't return the cake. We're ready to eat the cake. It's for us now. It's our cake now. This is kind of like the razor. We haven't even eaten half of the second cake. I know. It's really big.

I thought you were going to bring it. Well, I was dealing with the cold before I left and I couldn't. But I can still do that. I got to run back by the house later. I can bring it back and share the cake. But I might just bring it back. both. And we can mystery, we can cut in and see what we actually came up with. We're very sorry about the bun cake. Yeah, we are. We'll figure it out. We're going to come back and pay for that.

We'll drive out of the Bunkcake store and explain ourselves. Oh my God. That would be amazing. Do they do that there? It is a carrot cake. You can see. There's no way it's pink or blue in the middle. It's carrot colored. It's, they don't make carrot color cakes. You know, it's a carrot cake colored cake. So I went to breakfast yesterday morning and my girlfriend, Jamie Goddard, also brought me a mini, like a single version of a bun cake that's carrot cake. And they're, they could be confused with a lot of other cakes. It's just like a brown cake,

you know what I mean? Gus has been next level annoying because he, so, and I'm sorry, this is bothering some of you animal dog lovers. I'm, I've got a dog. I'm a dog lover,

but I don't love the way he's been acting. We, he too feels trapped. He's like, I want to go outside. I want to drink out of the fountain. That's not frozen over. That's his,

he thinks that's his water bowl, truly. So he goes outside and he's like... This is the experience with Gus. All right. So usually Gus is happy, calm, laying around, napping all day.

And he gets excited when he wants to go outside. And he hops around the floor. And that's the cue. I want to go out. And he's thrilled. You know, go over the door, open it up, goes outside.

And he's going to come back to the door in about 10 or 15 minutes and he'll bark. He might lay down on a porch for a while and chill and look out. And then he'll start barking. He'll just, you'll just hear him burp, burp. And that's come get me, let me back in. No problem.

He's going to want to go do this again, maybe an hour or two later. And that's sort of a pattern and that's what we've done for a long time. But during the snow, so we got the ice first, right? We had that ice storm. Gus is getting old and he's got arthritis in his hips and he's got a bunch of fatty gross and all this stuff. And he's just, he has a harder time.

Yeah. He jumps up on the couch. It's not as easy it used to be. Sometimes he misses. Sometimes he misses. When he lays around for a while and he gets up, it's a while for he can get moving. So he kind of, you know,

if he lays down, like all of us at our age, if he lays down when you get up, you're sore, you know, from sitting in the same spot for five minutes. And so, but, so we get the ice storm.

He goes outside and his feet busts through the ice. He gets 15 yards from the house and his feet busts through the ice. And he's like, I'm stuck. Yeah. Hey. He goes catatonic and just starts barking and won't move. Yeah, he won't move. He's 15 feet from the door and his feet have just fell through the two inches of ice.

And he's like, come get me. I'm stuck. And that's literally it. And so... Dale's like, I think something's wrong with the dog because he's walking around out there. Like, he's basically sliding. But he's hunched over like he won't stand up straight all the way.

He walks so funny on the ice. I think that's his arthritis or maybe he's, I think he's going to the bathroom and he's not. I don't know. What did he get into? What did you feed him? We're like going through the mountain of things other than it's just ice. If we don't take him out before bed time,

he gets us up at four, two, one, three in the morning. He gets us up and Amy might take him down some, but most time I'm taking him down. And I go down there, let him out. I'm in my damn underwear. You know, and I let him out. We didn't need that. Huh?

I'm sorry? We didn't need that. It's hard to catch what you're saying. I'm just letting you know that I'm not ready to walk outside. He's not prepared for what it was about to ensue. He goes out in the yard, falls through the ice, and he's like, all right, come get me. And I'm like, our shit.

So I go put on pants, put on a jacket, go outside and I go to him and as soon as I go to him he starts growling at me. Like, I'm out helping you? You don't want help? What's the damn deal? You're going to growl at me? I'm out here's damn 15 degrees outside.

I'm here to carry your ass, your 80 pound ass inside and you're growling. And so, and I'll take him back inside. So that's what happens in the middle of the night. What happens during the day is he wants to go outside, you take him outside, he stands on the porch, he goes, it's cold, let me back in.

So he starts barking at the door, you let him back in, five minutes goes by, and he is completely forgotten about that, and he wants to go back outside. He's restless as hell. Yes, and he goes back outside, and he's like, holy shit, it's cold out here. Let me back in, and he wants back in, and then five minutes later, he's forgotten about that. And it's like, this constant, like, he's like, let me out, let me out, let me out. And you're like, we just let you just let you out. Like, what are you doing?

You're going out there? You're using the bathroom at all? I think he wants you to come out with him. So he's, when it's warmer, he and I go out for a walk. Well, we haven't been doing that. And so he's, like, getting all excited because he wants you to come outside with him. When you close the door and he's like, oh, damn, I don't want to be out here by myself. I don't entertain that idea.

No, because you've never been the one to walk in. Ever going to be, I'm taking the dog for a walk. I didn't, I don't, I, I, I, I, I, we live on a farm. My dog takes his own ass for a walk. I don't live in the city. I'm not walking my dog down the road to get his leg stretched out. If his ass needs to go outside, he can take his own ass for a walk. We got 300 acres.

Be my guest. Wear yourself out. But this is like, oh, we got to take him for a lap so his anxiety calms down. That's, I like, I have a hard time with that. You are that. I am that. You are just like that. I don't need you to take me for a walk around the property.

No, but you need me to lay on the couch with you so you can recharge as you say. What's the damn difference? I don't know. He's used to that. We walk together. We get the energy out. He has not been able to do that.

That's why he's bothering you. But also, he doesn't growl at me. Like, if I go outside with the dog or if I go way on him on the couch, he didn't growl on me, not ever. He only does that to Dale.

I don't know what that is. They have like this weird relationship. We're dudes. Maybe you could have like cleared a path for him where like he gets some grass to, you know, we did that. Yeah. I laid it.

So when the ice storm was coming, preemptively, I laid out all of the felt blankets and different blankets like I have in the dog room, down the stairs, across the path, into the grass. So, like, he had his own little section that was not going to get iced. And he would walk over the ice to the, he was always going towards that fountain. But anyway, he's just spoiled. He's got all those things. He just wants attention. I haven't had to go outside to pick him up and bring him back in since the ice. I see it's been a week we had seven and a half inches of snow I'm like all right we're over the ice

the other two nights ago he's like I got to go downstairs it's it's one o'clock in the morning we get down like how you interpret how he's speaking if he could speak to you we he's like oh he gets up his bed is in the floor at the end of our bed and he gets up and he paces up my side up any side he's just waiting to see who's going to get up and he pants really loudly. And he drags his feet. So he's intentionally like making as much noise as he can to get one of us to get up and let his ass go down to.

He will not go down a set of stairs. He falls. If he goes down the stairs, he will slide all the way down. He can't see very good. His legs don't work. So we got to go down an elevator. So I get up. I take him into the elevator.

We go down. And he doesn't go to the front door, which is where he should go. He wants to go out back. Out back's the hill that he's getting stuck on. But we haven't happened in a couple days. And his ass goes out there and I watch him. And he walks around. He takes his poop.

He takes his pee. And then he just dicks around. He locks up. He goes, Oh! Come give me. He's playing you. He's down this hill.

And I see him like. He's like, I know you're going to be cold. I know you don't have any clothes on. He's moving his front legs. He's like, I can't get out of the hill. He's asserting his dominance over you, Dale. Yeah. That's exactly what it is.

He's acting like he needs wheelchair. He's like, you ain't the boss of me. He's like, help, help, come give me. I'm going to freeze. Yeah, you're his. That's not right. But that's not how it is. So I have to get my pants on and go out there and pick him up. Don't pick me up.

And I'm like, this sucks. You wanted this. I don't. I did not want this. This is not the part. I don't know that this is experience for every dog owner. Well, when they get older, you have all kinds of things you didn't experience. You didn't have that with Rocket.

Look, I don't want to put him down. I'm not saying, let's get rid of him. Well, I didn't hear you say that. I'm not accusing you. I just want to get off my chest. I'm, I believe my, you're, so maybe that's me relating to you, right? And you're, you know, feeling like you got island fever. You're, you know, claustrophobic and need to get out of the house.

Yeah. You need to see some friends. Yeah. Not everybody needs to see a therapist. but like I absolutely believe in therapy, especially when you meet the right person that you have a comfortable connection with. And not every, you know, I don't know if you go see five therapists, only one or two, or you're going to really like want to go back and see and feel like you can make a bond with. I got put in therapy when I was 12.

I went to other therapists in between then and Mary and Amy. Me and Amy saw a therapist for a while. and that was absolutely extremely successful because like I was saying, I was really selfish, didn't know how to be a boyfriend, didn't know how to, I mean, my idea of a date was doing whatever I wanted to do, grabbing drinks and raising hail.

It wasn't, you know, I didn't care if she had fun, you know. My knees were not needs. I figured if she was with me, she was fine, right? And he might have said that out loud of Keith a couple times. Like, what you're craving about? We went to this therapist to, to get our relationship to peak performance. And this lady was badass.

And she would tell, she would put me in my place. She'd put Amy in her place. It felt like it was super, super, super, super, fair. Fair. We invited her to our wedding. She was also very calm and, like, really, very cool, made back. And so listening to her was easy. She, we invited her to our wedding because we felt like she was really responsible for her.

The reason that we were able to get buried, yeah. One of my favorite things that she did. told us. And now this is, this is her words. And I was, I was like, I wasn't expecting this, right? Because, you know, me and Amy would get in arguments from time to time, just like anybody else. And it was often, if not always, when we had been drinking, you know, we'd been day drinking or night drinking or whatever, we're out and having a few drinks. And we'd get annoyed with each other or somebody's feelings get hurt. And it was just kind of spiral. And we kept going to her and talking to her and talking to her and she's like you know and we'd tell her

what happened what got us mad she'd say had y'all been drinking we're like yeah and she'd go and finally you know we go we've been going for you know eight six months or whatever i don't know why i don't think it was that long right whatever we've been going for a few visits maybe six sessions yeah and she goes we came in there mad as hell at each other like the whole call right down to charlotte we didn't speak to each other but we're going so mad because we know we're We know we're going to come out of this session with some good notes. We had gotten into argument, and we had been drinking a couple beers and hanging out. Me and Amy would sit down in the basement at night, you know, just by ourselves before we had kids and just, I'd drag her down there.

I'd be, come on, let's go downstairs and drink some beer. And, you know, she reluctantly go, and by the end of the night, she's, you know, we're bickering and not seeing out of eye on something. But we go into the therapy, and we're sitting down, we're talking to her, and she goes, where y'all drink? We're like, yeah, we were, we were drinking. She goes, I got a bit of advice for you. She goes, maybe y'all should not drink. And I said, not happening. Yeah, he said to her.

He's like, nope, not in the cards, lady. I said, I'm not going to quit drink a beer. And she goes, well, then quit giving a shit about what each other's saying in those moments. Yeah, you got wake up and high five each other. I was like, good night. That was fun. Whoopsy. Like, don't care so much about those stupid little arguments.

I was sitting there. That started over who likes 80s music more. Like, it was absolutely assing. I was sitting there. And I was like, wait, that's on the table. And I looked at Amy, I was like, you in? You end with this? Like you just don't, let's just not give a shit.

If we disagree about something or get upset at each other, we're just going to say, fuck it, you know? Well, half the time, too, one of us is disagreeing with the other person. And then the other person's, like, offended that there's a disagreement. And like, how come you don't see it my way? Doing that. Yeah. And so it really translated into that.

Like, everything just chilled out after that. I heard saying that to us. Dude, from that moment on. And she literally was like, if you're not going to quit that, if you're not going to quit drinking, then quit giving a shit about these silly arguments. And just get up in the morning and go, hey, we didn't agree on something. But, you know, let's just call it a day. Yeah. And literally, we adopted that.

And, I mean, that was like 90% of our issues. Yeah. Because we would carry the scrudge, you know, for days. We're good at that too. Oh, yeah. I would have loved to see Dale's reaction when she said, don't drink. dude well I mean

that was very quick I was like nah not happening she's like they're gonna stop drinking beer nope yeah well then stop caring so much about that

it's not a big deal it was awesome yeah and I was like what a rational thoughts I was like hell dude you're amazing

yeah she's so we'd still go see her just because surely there's something but she retired yeah so we would still go see her

today just because you miss her yeah and like it's like going to get your old change You're keeping your car maintenance up, you know. That's the way I look at therapy today.

Like, I don't, I probably, you know, got a few things I need to work on for my childhood or whatever, but I'm pretty happy where I'm at, so I don't like go regularly. But every now and then I'll call up my therapist and say, hey, man, I'm going to come in and let's just have us, you know, sit down and see what's going on. And to Amy's point, like you get to a point where you're like, I don't really feel like I got anything to talk about today. I'm going to go. And you go in there and you end up doing a little work, you know. And it's like going to church. You never leave there going, well, that was a waste of time.

Yeah. I will say, though, I've never experienced the success that we have with our, the lady me and Amy saw. And every single time we left, we felt like a million bucks. Like, we'd sit down with her for an hour and we'd get, we'd come, we'd go in there so discouraged, so lost and like not knowing what to do next and what. whether, you know, we're just so disappointed and discouraged. And we would leave there feeling like, we got the tools, we're going to get this right.

It's going to be great, you know. Every time, every time. We never left there feeling like. You weren't seen or heard. Man, that didn't. Yeah. Man, she was so good. I remember she going in there the very first time and feeling like, you know, just don't have a lot of confidence.

Things were pretty, things were pretty, it was a lot. It was mad, too, that we had to drive all the way down to Charlotte to even see the first. So far. I don't go to Charlotte. I don't ever go to Charlotte. I don't ever go to Charlotte. Like you live 45 minutes away. Somebody got to be somebody closer, right?

20 minutes? Nope. Yeah. It was worth every mile. Jane was her name. Yeah, Jane. She's honestly, man. I'm telling you, she was an angel gift from heaven.

All right, everybody. That's the show. I hope you enjoyed that. Me and Amy, you'll get back into the studio ASAP. Also, check out the merch line at shop. Dot dirtymomedia.com. There's so much stuff there to take a look at

and tell us. you like tell us what you do what you want maybe we're not making um it's been a lot of fun uh we'll see you around next time check out dirty mo media on instagram facebook x and ticot